BONUS | Cultch War: Before The Storm

early doors opening at seven thirty. And again, this is tomorrow, people, Tuesday, November seven, that Villain in Brooklyn, and I don't think I don't think there could be a more filling fitting title than villain than villain. Describe your team absolutely not no, no, no. First of all, multiple people have characterized your team as the team of villains and that you are wearing red.

You are wearing red um and potentially that will be um sort of that might be a winning strap of gim is that you guys will be so aggressive, so malicious, so so um invective you have you will all have such invective to spew at my team of do gooders. Have you heard from your team to me? So they team? Oh, I've certainly heard from my team, and they told me that we shouldn't worry at all. I've heard about it trobe choices from my team. I've heard about wardrobe choices.

Do you fucking know what Gretta Tileman is gonna wear? Now? Well, guess what. At least Morales approached me today and said she picked up something real fucking cute? Is it? And also she told me that she's not worried at all. Is it a short sleeve electric blue ver song? Why would you give it away? I guess that's why that you undermine your own team here. It's so funny. It's so funny that you think that I'm undermining. It's so funny,

so hilarious. Okay, you do well. First of all, let's just say that this is going to be a bracketed format. I don't think so, honey, Yes, and um, we're just they're just gonna go at it. And so here's how the night is going to play out. We're not gonna give too much away, but first round with all of our competitors is going to be about people. They have to take to task people, whether or not their celebrities.

UM a sort of a group of people that does a specific thing that gets on their on their nerves. The category is people and that is open to interpretations. So we've asked all twenty, sorry, all eighteen of our competitors to come in and prepare something and that would fit onto the umbrella of people. So that's around one the victors of those rounds, and move on to around two and the category is I'm so sorry the little things? The little things? Am I saying that? Right? Yeah? Okay,

it's the little things. It's like those little ticks and little things. And again very wide umbrella and um. Then there's going to be a third round based on those winners, and that's going to be users choice. So they've come prepared with several I don't think so honeys. Very few of them will get to do all three of them, because listen, this is a competition. It's going to get fucking down to the wire. It's gonna get down to the dark and to be cut, there's gonna be tears ship.

They're gonna be tear ship. But that's the business, baby, that's the business. That's the culture that this show, if nothing else, is a crash course for the biz. And I gotta set And you were saying, there's there couldn't be a more appropriate venue named than Villain. There couldn't be a more appropriate night for this to fall on on what else but election night? Election night decisions get made, the night decisions get made about warring sides. And this

is it. Oh my god. Now this won't be a democracy, no no, no, no, no no, but it will have It will be judged by a blue ribbon panel, a blue ribbon panel. You could say it's an oligarchy of judges. We have the amazing Joel Kim Booster, Jol Kim Booster, Who's Model Minority C D is out? Now? The CD is out? The CD we call it a CD called an album. Well, you know I no longer a compact us. I guess, well, I'm sure you could get it as a compactus. No, I don't think so, honey, You don't think.

You don't think it's available in that format because it's printing costs. Have you ever thought of that? I don't. I don't know. All I care about is support of my friends. Okay, I don't know how I do it. If I have to pay a little bit more, that's more money in Joel's pockeat. How everyone about our second judge, our second judge is Michelle Collins, who I would pay

the printing course. Printing costs hundreds of dollars. I'd pay hundreds of hundreds of dollars, and then you would publish the you would you would distribute the albums yourself, the physical hard copies orself if it was more money in her pocket. Now, I'm not pandering too judges. I feel like that's what you're doing. And meanwhile, I've taken out I don't need to do that. I've been victimized by the judges aggressively. Well, just one in particular, which is Joel.

And Joel has come from my team. And I've mentioned this before. He looked at the roster when it first was released and he said, a lot of heavy hitters on Matt's team. Someone's feeling confident. That someone being me. He assumed that my team would not have the fire in their bellies to win this and take a victory home for a team Bowen, this is real week, Sauce. What you're doing right now. I'm not being You're trying to come in as a victim. I'm not coming in

as a victim. I've been victimized. It has been inflicted upon me, okay, fine, take that mantle. So this is what the majority of this bonus episode is gonna be. We're gonna go through the first round matchups for all eighteen comedians on our teams. We're gonna give a little background, We're gonna gave backgrounds. We're gonna go through their histories. Why were they chosen? Why were they chosen? What are this is gonna be sported? Would you what would you say?

This is Sports Center style? I said, Sports Center style episode where we go through all these matchups and talk strategy, talk how they've succeeded in the past, talk shit, talk shit, And I'm ready to start doing that right now. Let's get into round one. Okay, So this is this Round one is titled The Dark Versus the Light, and we have on team Matt Pat Reagan, and we have on team Bowen Dylan Marin. Now, Bowen, talk to me a little bit about the contestant you've chosen, the cultures that

you've chosen, Dylan. Sure, So before I do that, let me just walk through historically what he's done on record on the podcast for I don't think so, honey. When he was on his Committed episode, his dedicated episode. He I don't think so honeyed. Quote Lady Gaga, where is your performance of White Ally Ship for Black Lives Matter? And for the live show for the first installment we did.

He I don't think so honeyed casting Laura During as Shaleen Woodley and Reese Witherspoon's adversary and Big Little Lies when she played their mothers in Wild and the Fault in Our Stars Um, not respectively, um, but you know, Fault in Our Stars for Sheley and Wild for Reese Witherspoon. So I took a task two wildly different things on the spectrum. One was something that was, you know, a very sobering attack on a role model, on a moral authority in the pop star community and the pop star

sort of uh pantheon. And then the other was clearly, you know, a nice, more lighthearted attack casting in Hollywood. I have problems with both of these. Okay, Well, before we get into that, I just want to say that that range is very impressive. It's exactly what I'm looking for on my team. I mean, he certainly was using

a range of vocal styles. I mean everyone can hear him absolutely fucking scream and shout because some people feel that they need to do that, but I I don't think so, Honey live he was absolutely screaming and shouting on the record. On his episode, he was very quiet. He and I'm saying that I want that range. Sure, you know what, I guess you don't know what you're gonna get. Are you're gonna get Dylan Marren at a ten or a fucking one. Well, if he's gonna go for fucking blood

that he's going to be at a ten, I assume. Well, I hope he certainly comes with something a little bit better than Lady Gaga, Where is your performance of White Alley Ship for Black Lives Matter? Because you know what she is thinking. She is now on the record big time for Black Lives Matter. I I have to say this was too early to attack her for something like this.

It was just it came at just the right time because I had even uh sort of um rebutted with oh, her song Angel Down is about um is about Trayvon Martin and I'm with you there and and but he expected even more. He wants something very literal, very overt, something that isn't necessarily coded in that way, in the way that she did for Born this way, I guess, so I think that's absolutely fair. And you can bet and guarantee that he will be at a ten screaming

his fucking dulcet vote. Will you know he has a voice for podcast. He knows how to use his instrument, God bless him. I also, you know, I take issue with this casting Laura during a Shane Lee Woodley and Reese were the Swins adversary and big little lives when she played their mothers and wild In the fault in our starts. So what are we saying here? There's a world where we don't cast durn in big little eyes. No, no, no no, in different because I am down with Laura Dern.

Of course, this feels like an attack on Laura and Renata, which I don't sit does not sit well with you are deliberately You're being willfully up to. So I don't know what he is doing. Is he is taking to task casting casting, just the way that women are wronged

in casting in Hollywood. I don't know. I had to think there's nothing wrong with Laura Dern being cast by the way in a flashback in Wild as Reeswa the Swins mother, it was a flash back Reese were this Win played her young version of herself, which was in her early twenties, and Laura Dern was appropriate for that part. So do your research, Dylan. And then she earned an Oscar nomination for that and so, um, I don't know, I feel like this just doesn't check out for me.

He's attacking the larger problem, the problem, which he's very good to do because he has to look at things with a keen, observational eye. Wouldn't you say, yeah, that's good that you can repeat that from what you said before. I'm okay. Well, so let's talk about Pat Pat. Who let you talk about Pat here. I'll give you the background on Pat Pat. Of course the last culture says icon Award winner. Um, he's been on both. I don't think so, honey lives. I mean, he's an iconic part

of the show. Of course, he was on our show and he did the iconic which earned him the title. He did the iconic. I don't think so, honey. People who shame me about posting too much on social or about ever being on my phone, ever, that was iconic and it was so please. It was so iconic that it is animated by Lulu Crouse in in uh giffy form, and then we have him on our first I don't think so, honey, where he accepted the title of last Culture icon Award restaurants who cover their outlets so you

can't charge your phone incredibly on brand. And then we had the iconic on the last last culture assess I don't think so, honey of life, he said, I don't think so, honey. These young girls, which I will grant you is iconic. Find a problem with my friend, of problem with my man. Let's go down. Let's go down the list, Shelley one people who sham me about posting too much on social or about ever being on your

phone ever. I mean, that's just, that's the opposite of um just I mean, you know, he clearly has the range to make it su saint or wordy. That is something that is just that's gonna be his achilles heel. He's just gonna tumble and stumble on his own words, and he's not going to be I'm not attacking his diction. I'm attacking his communication, his way to concisely communicate an idea,

which he's not doing in this first example. So there's that number two restaurantsho cover their outlets so you can't start your phone. This is not something that is um, this is a thought that we've all had. This is not like an oh aha, We've had it, but we haven't expressed it. And that's always countless time was out there saying, who's talking about restaurants and coffee shops with no alex is the new complaining about airplane food? It

is hackneyed, well trod territory. And Pat I expecting and so third, these young girls, I mean what you cannot what he it's almost you can't poke holes in it, almost but almost Because these young girls referring to gay men young gay men, is you know, toying a little bit too much with gender? Oh I don't like you. So I don't know if that's, you know, gonna sit well with the audience, who was going to be very well read, very well educated, and um, you know, I

think I worry for Pat. I worry for I don't know. I don't worry about him at all. I think he's the last Culture is Icon Award winner. I think that. Um. He has been described on this show as being someone who was one of the most underrated comedians out there in New York, if not the universe and the world. And I'd say that person did not for the record, that person did not extrapolate. I would give the edge to pat um No, that's not fair, and you would

give the edge to absolutely. So it seems like we're at, we're at, We're at, We're at an impass here here we go. Let's move on to the second matchup, which is entitled Lifestyle Queens. We have on team Matt, we have a lease Morales, and I just want to mention during UM New York Comedy Festival, she also has the show UM Roast of Your fifteen year Old Self, which is one of the best shows to look out for that now, at least Morales was an early guest of

Last Culture. So we did an entirely Harry Potter episode and she didn't. I don't think so, honey. That was totally uh with went with that episode. She did that Potter more ways huffle puff more than other houses, which can we clarify what does that mean? It means that when you are on pottern More and you go to take the test to get into a house, it's waded towards huffle pops yes, and she was I don't think so honeying that, which is for me, very academic, very

genre specific, and it was very successful. Were we I listened to the episode today, we were gasping and gagging. And then she did her second I don't Think, so Honey, which was truly amazing and clinched her spot in this show. For me, I'm I never forgot. This was people who still care about Kim Kardashian sex tape, and um, you need to go back and listen to this. I don't

think so Honey. To me, it is it is well researched, it is funny, it is incisive, is revealing, and it's is shaming of people who are wrong out there in culture, and that is what I don't think so Honey should do. Okay, so I am very confident, So, um, how how should we do this? Should I rebot or should I say go ahead and tell me what's wrong? So I will grant you that she um is. Both of these were fantastic.

I don't think so Honey's um but the same problem lies, and I just say that this problem applies to both of these, which is her areas of expertise are a little too narrow, a little too specific for I know. Of course, we know Elise is the authority on Harry part. We know Elise is the authority on the Kardashians, But what what is she going to talk about outside of those two? You doubt that she has expertise in other areas?

I really do. You know? Elisi is a genius at branding her own you know, topics, of of her topics, but um, you know, I'm I'm I'm really worried that she won't really have that much else to draw from. Unbelievable. And I would like to add h read Kim Kardashian and shaming people who still care about her sex tape. I mean, why should we Why should we not care? It's what put Kim Kardashian on the map, It's what's

it was the seed crystal for her amazing empire. So I don't know why I don't think I would love to keep talking about Kim Kardashian sex. Is not people who care about Kardashian sex. It was people who have a negative opinion on Kim based on the sex because she said she was merely a girl with a fat ass and even fatter dreams and that to me, honey, is a classic joke. Sure, I mean, um, a classic joke or um, something that puts a little bit too much focus on the beauty standard around our ask you

are unbelievable. So um, you know, I'm just I'm a little offended and worried about at least, so there's that. Well, she told me that she picked out a red outfit which it will slay, and she is not worried about your team member, Gonna go ahead and describe about Gretta. Gretta titleman. Now, she is someone who knows her frame of references, so so clearly I have to say this, I don't think so, honey, that she did came out of nowhere. Came out of nowhere, she did. I don't

think so, honey. At the live second Live show, I don't think so, honey. French manicures as petticures. She was able to roll out so many, so many good singers. Your your foot isn't handing me my menu at NOBU. That was good. That's pretty fucking iconic. If you can it'll it down to one line. I think that's the sign. That's the mark of an amazing I don't think so, honey, And that's why I pitched Greta. She's able to distill something so clearly. Look her, I don't think so honey.

The way that we wrote this out like this is sort of like match a very good job of really getting these um written down her, I don't think, so, honey. Forwards French medicures as pedicures. You know what I will say, I'm gonna give it to her. She did an amazing I don't think so handy. She represented herself very well. My concern all style, no substance, jarredy. I've heard her say talk all about the outfit she's gonna wear, as

if that's going to carry her through. Guess webon where at least it's out there that's gonna be In addition to here's the problem. She came up to you almost like my outfit is going to be fierce, and then we looked down at what her I don't think so, honey, was and it's French manicures as pedikers. This is someone who cares a little bit too much about the aesthetics and not enough about the content. On your point of view, you know what, bitch, I certainly hope she can spread

her wings. I hope she surprises us because I think the judges are gonna be why watching and I think the judges are going to be saying, huh, are we going to allow ourselves to get fucked over by someone who is not very versatile? Is she going to be working on representing our brand? I don't know. I want something that's not based in fashion. I want something that's not based in skin deep. I want depth from Greta.

I don't know if you re realizing these industries of beauty and skincare, and frankly, that's not feminist view Now, let's unbelievable to call me unfeminist on this podcast. I support women. I just need them, you know, to deliver more than just demanding more of women. That's that's awful. Okay, let's move under our third matchup, shall we. This is a This is a doozy of a of a matchup. Yes, this matchup is used to be in love with who are now our co hosts on other shows? Now, as

an added addendum, let's give the back story. Give the backstory, so you go first. Alright, So representing from my team is Dave Mazzoni the first time I ever saw Dave, we were a freshman in college. I could see right through him. I said, that's a closeted boy from a small suburban town Rhode Island. Because I see myself and him, I am what in love with him? Uh, proceeded to get obsessed with him. We did a show together, um

where I pined for him all summer long. Eventually, I think it was like nine months we did the show. We did end up like becoming better friends, and you know, you put two people together, things happen. Um. I believe we were in and maybe a five or six week relationship, which he ended and fully broke my heart there. And uh, you know, looking back, we also made the grave I think at the time mistake, but maybe now it's totally

fine and funny. But we moved in together as roommates right after this ended, and he was like, because we can do that, right, And in an effort to prove how cool I was, I was like, yeah, absolutely, I'm totally fine with that. We moved in together. Those were hard times, but everything has made us so strong, and Davis now one of my sisters. He's one of our sisters, or Lando sister and that's why I feel so confident with him going up there to represent team at because

he knows team Matt Um. Team Matt has um sucked his dick. So I feel like and and and team matts dick has been in Dave's mouth now, and so that's why I feel very confident that Dave is going to bring him home. Um. Hat when I talk about that, that's fine. Now, So that's the back story, and I will now say that I don't think so he said he's done. Well, I feel like, let's le's let's okay,

So let's go back for the back story. Uh. So I'll give my background and then I have a little bit of a of a rebuttal I want I want to sort of point at something that you just talked about. UM, but I'll do that after this. So Sam Taggart is on my team. Um. Sam Taggart was a mutual friend.

Uh when I first met him with our very good friend Matt and I very good friend Henry melcher Um and Sam new Henry through Chicago and and was visiting New York one day when he was but a senior at uv A, and he was recently out of the closet, still very masks, still very performatively straight, and was wearing flannel and it was just this clean cut, all American quote unquote guy and Henry you just very lightly just sort of, you know, consider the possibility of setting us up.

And I was like, oh, well, I don't know. Let's let's let me see. Let me meet this guy first. And then at the time, Henry and I were roommates, and I walk up to my roommate my first department, New York on Avenue A, and um, when I first saw Shim Taggart, I was like, yeah, I'm in love, and um, you know proceeded to pine for him, uh for a couple of years until he finally moved to

New York City after he graduated. Um, and you know, struck up a friendship where I sort of kept my feelings for him repressed and under wraps for a while and really had to reckon with that for a long time,

which I think really propelled my emotional maturity. But anyway, Um, and then one moment that I share with Sam is that I spent New Year's with him in Chicago New Year's and um, we drove from Chicago to back to New York with a pickup truck full of his stuff and his dog Gizmo on my lap, just nipping at me, just just biting at me. It was beautiful relationship, but you know what, it was one of those experience We listened to Fleetwood mac Tusk, we talked about uh, great music. UM.

I really felt a connection with him. And then when he dropped me off, I knew. I knew that he was he was someone that I would be connected with for life. Now I finally confessed my feelings for him, um, and you know, he did not return those feelings and I was devastated, and so there was a we we both decided it was a good idea too for a few months not talk to each other, and then we

finally did revisit the friendship. What what spurt? What what grew out of that was a beautiful creative collaboration that has created successful, successful franchises such as Live on Broadcast, the same here with Me and Owen, what else? Um Live on Broco like Como High, don't challenge an upcoming project that is has yet to be announced, but that

will be revolutionary. UM So I just think Sam and I first be it it'll feel just like the for me, for me coming out of this really emotionally overwrought place of unrequited love to um, you know, successful relationships. I mean with Sam almost weekly UM to talk about our ideas and how to execute them and produce UM. You know, that's that just shows you the growth. And I just want to say I actually spoke to Dave, you know, just today. Sure, I mean, that's that's that's your that's

your cadence. But I just I would like to point out that I'm you deciding to move in with him as a display of you being cool. UM just is a blatant display of your poor judgment. And I think that is something the judges should consider. So why would they consider that I have poor judgment? I think they'll consider, Wow, what a long journey it's been. Clearly they still have a collaborative, thrilling relationship that he's allowed to be on

this stuff together than you and Sam. We have been the ringer and you and Sam what you have a mere crush on. Here's here he didn't go through a relationship was what was the what was the ringer? Matt that I had to bear the brunt of some of this too in popular rehearsals. Were you twould bicker like fucking children? Yeah? That was definitely much harder for you

than it was for my mind. Sam's past has not trickled down and reverberated out in a negative way towards our other collaborators the same way that you're in, David, you would be nowhere if it wasn't for me. How dare you? How dare you play kingmaker with me? Bitch? Don't bite the hand now, listen. Dave has done some incredible I don't think so honey is in the past, and I am so proud to have him on my team.

Dave's first I don't think so honey, unjust the third episode of Last Cultures Us was people who say they don't vote. This is someone with a civic mind, he said on the episode, it is there are the people in other countries who would die for the opportunity to percipate in government. And he represented that and I was, I was so beautiful. And then his next I don't

think so honey was people who say Britney spears sucks. Now, so that's someone who not only has a mind for government, but a mind for propping up women, and he wants to see women supported. And he he said to the whole crowd, Britney Spears raised you and we the children had forgotten that, and he reminded us, all, I dare you to say something negative about these I don't think so Honey's okay, totally good. I don't think so honey is absolutely don't really have anything critical to say good.

Um really just took the form, understood it, went with it, hit it hard. Um communicated all these things effectively. I will say, Um, you know, both of these are about people. You know, what is the little thing? Actually the first assignment the first time. But you know, he'll make it to the first round potentially already I'm saying there's a fifty fifty chance. But um, you know, what's he going to come up with for the second round if he makes it that far with the little things or what's

his user's choice that isn't gonna sound redundant. That's what I'm worried about for Dave. So you know, we'll see and UM, I hope I I hope that we UM. I hope that he makes it far enough along for him to see them talking about a lack of versatility. It actually segways perfectly into Sam. So why don't you tell us what? Honey? So Sam, has um really made history? And I don't at Lost Culture rest Us his I

don't think so honey. On his episode was I don't think so honey, Lost Culture Restes podcast not talking about the new Instagram Stories. Now, this was the day of Instagram had launched their stories feature one that's historic. Two. So you're already explaining, say the other one and then qualify, Oh no, no no, let me just finish on this first one. The second historic thing about this I don't think, so, honey was that he was the first person in Lost

Culture history too. I don't think so honey. The hosts huge, huge, huge, and he did it. He did it very well, with energy, with fire, with biting wit. The second I don't think so honey was Via Trouble. One of the first early adopters also historic of the Trouble of drawing from the Trouble was Kelly Clarkson. And he I remember that one because there was like a lot of there wasn't a lot of words. Well, no, he was just taking something that he didn't really have um expertise with and he

still did not let that affect his performance. He still came with such emotion, with such fire, And you know what, that to me is a star. I don't think so, honey, cultural icon he's going to take home. If you think you're gonna come onto the Last Cultures podcast and not only disrespect me, but disrespect Kelly, you're not gonna get

very far. And does that have to do with his performance, because I'm just saying that you, karmically, you make a choice when you when you decide to come for Kelly and to come from me, you you make a choice, and karma will come back around karmically. He is on the show. We haven't selected him. Yeah, I mean that's your choice, baby. I think it's very self hating of you to choose someone who has come for you in

the past for your choices. I think it's disgusting that you would not support Kelly in this moment where she needs to be supportive. Meaning of life is out right now and I just hope that you know what, I it's not even a hope, it's I know that, um, the heroes will prevail here. And someone who has been on the side of pop stars and wantn't to succeed, will definitely take it over someone who came in and trash someone else. So okay, no, you're right, you're right,

You're right. Um, we have diametrically opposed contestants in this matchup, absolutely, and we will see which side Karma favors. Okay, now let's move on. We have the Titans of Intellect, Tens of intellect now on my team. We have Amanda Dwarte um jos talk about a moral authority here. She is able to take what is happening in the moment, process it, digest it, and give you a clear coaching opinion on something that you didn't even know you wanted to hear. Sometimes.

You know, I'm not saying everyone agrees with her, that everyone should sort of, um, you know, follow to the letter what she says. But most of the time she's right, and most of the time she is able to um, you know, really fucking slay an argument and her most of the time. Okay, that's not what I meant. That's not what I meant for it to sound like I'm saying a the time. Now her, I don't think so, honey.

At the Second Life Show was the movie black Fish via the Trouble, and she was able to pull out these amazing, amazing facts and just really just take an academic approach, socratic approach to taking down the movie black Fish. Her facts were, don't make me hungry for sushi. Yeah, that's a fact. That was her fact. You would you would say, that's not a fact. I would say that is some hope, coum, that's not hom How dare you?

I would say reduce that. She couldn't find a way to feasibly attack the movie black Fish, so she decided to take a comedic route and say it made me. You know what this is this the show is about truth to power. What made the black Fish a not good movie? You could have said not enough um, not enough input from the movie, from in the movie, from sea World's perspective. Sure, I mean, do we expect her it's not very feminist feminist view. It's not very feminist view.

And this might be your preview of what the collective team strategy will be is to sort of cut you off, just hit just hit you low with this fact. Frankly, that Matt Ponders is not a feminist. It's insane desay. I'm not a feminist when there's someone on my team in this very matchup. Actually, who's one of the hosts of the podcast, Miss Andrey with Marcia bell Ski and my teammate ray Sonny who's representing four team, Matt Her.

I don't think so Honey's in the past are when she was on our show Twitter, people who ain't got a blue check coming for her? Absolutely and her I don't think so Honey live was Elizabeth Moss via the troll Ball iconic. She hit everything. When I put Elizabeth Moss in that troll ball, there's a lot to there. There a lot hit and she hit everything. Absolutely, she

hit everything you could clock Elizabeth. She even went as far as to say top of the Lake was boring, which it is, you know, and that's like that's like in the deeper like things you could hit about Elizabeth Moss. Obviously she got scientology, obviously you know all these things. But to say top of Lake was boring, that's that's that's true the cultural commentary. And I don't think that. I don't know, I don't I don't see a threat here, you know, um, this is the threat is that Amanda

will succeed with flying colors. You are at a lost every round because she has demonstrated versatility. She knows how to talk about every which topic. Now she certainly is has demonstrated HOKEM. How dare you you cannot hokem POKEM not throw the word hokem at someone with the intellectual prowess of Amanda Dwarte. How dare you I have hop Yeah? Well maybe that's your problem. It's because you have not chosen wisely. You see, my team is impenetrable. Absolutely not.

And this is the narrative that I want to point out, is um that you know, the the rosters went out, people were like, oh, advantage mad, advantage man at. But then slowly these matchups came out. No, no, no no, no, no no, no, I'm not. I wasn't. I wasn't going into a victim arrative there. As the matchups were released, people started to say. The collective din was, oh, wait, this is more of a toss up than I thought it would be. And I think that's absolutely what we're seeing.

So you know, don't don't don't don't count on, don't count your you know your wins and your advantages. Just yet, Matt, that's all let's move on to our next battle matchup, which is former Planet Hollywood front of house staff. Now, these are two gentlemen who used to work the front of house at Planet Hollywood Times Square, and my have

they grown from that point. They've grown from that point, and they've grown from a specific incident where, Um, I believe Tim Murray did um tell us this privately off the record that when they did work at com Planet Hollywood together, they didn't they didn't really interface and or interacted that much, Michael Hartney and Tim Murray. But um, one time, I believe it was a chef or someone

in the kitchen had like done some shitty thing to Tim. Well, he it was in our like a dispute in the kitchen like you have of where um, Tim I think asked for something and the chef acted like it was a much bigger deal than it was, and Michael Hartney jumped in and just told him to give him the fucking thing because it wasn't a big deal. So, you know what, you got quite a quite a tighten on

your team there. Michael Hartney is on your team, and you know he's he's a force to be reckoned with someone who is able to just step up and be that that right, that that corrective force in the world. I understand. I look, I'm not even going to front. I also wanted Michael from my team. I lobbied hard

for him. He ended up on your team. I you know, it's certainly a concern of mine that he isn't on my team, but because he certainly shut it down with his I don't think so, Honey's in the past, I mean, he's been absolutely amazing. What has he done. First time was on the first live show. I don't think so, honey, the famously closed the whole show. Tony came up from the raffle, but he closed the whole show with I

don't think so, honey. People who say their favorite movie of was The Usual Suspects topical and that Facebook will stop it was? It was topical? Now, how dare you? Because it was topical right now in this momentum of course, Kevin Spacey, but it was topical. He was talking about that that Facebook game where people were posting years that they've been living, and he chose to go a topical route on that evening. Yes, and he made a great Kevin Spacey joke. Um if I wanted to hear Kevin

Spacey live for two hours. I'd ask him about the women he's fucked. I mean, what a great setup punchline right there. Just he's a stunning, stunning, a stunning humorist. And I just want to say, you know, he he's someone who has strong opinions about a lot of things, and I will say he is almost always right about it. And what was his other? I don't think so. I'm sorry his other I don't think so, Honey during his episode was people who come for Milana. And here is

my problem. We have a very film centric mind. And I don't know. I guess the judges again, are they going to see a lack of versatility on your team? Are we again? Are we getting again? I That's that's been the argument that I've leveled against your team all this time. What do you mean again that you're dealing with that You're dealing with people who obviously deal only in the world of fashion, who people don't Potter Kim kardash You only the world of attacking us and the

people that we love, which is Sam. I'm just saying, Michael, you know what, if you're gonna come to I don't think so honey. And if you say a fucking I don't think so honey about a movie or like anything in the world of cinema, don't think that's not going to register. Okay, because we see you, bitch, we see you,

We see you in your limited school. Okay. Well, then if you're going to talk about you know, you know some some any myopic sort of areas of expertise, why don't you talk about your I'm proud to my teammate is Tim Murray. Now his first I don't think so honey, and I don't think so honey Live was Harry Potter Bullies. He's never read it, he's not going to read it. Stop only in him. He's not going to do it. That's a shaming and shaming shaming. We'll stop shaming him

and he won't shame you. And the second one, which is on our episode, was people who slide into my d m s to ask about my friend. Now, tell me what's comparable between those two. We had two stunning I don't think the funnies that made us think about our behavior, and they were cultural and they both of these I don't think so honey has created a shift in the way people behaved. Absolutely not where's that? Where?

Where's that shift? What would you see that shift? I would say that people when they heard him on Lost culture as talk about don't fucking contact him and ask about his friends and his d M s. I bet he's gotten no messages since since that. I just think it's he made a social point. He's coming from this very unrelatable place, the one with the Harry Potter sort of the anti Harry Potter sentiment, but two implying that people are sledding into his d M to ask about

his friend um or bringing that up. It would imply that he a has a hot friend, which not everybody does and be and we all have a hot friend and be. It implies that people are d M ing him and I don't get that many d ms, and I don't relate to that. It's alienating to me. I think that that makes you unusual because I think most of us get d m s, whether or not we get five, ten, or maybe even one or two a day we get, we all get d ms. We all

know what d m ng is all about. Can't say that, And I think that we can relate to him on a Harry Potter level two because some of us just like, maybe we're not into it. It's this cultural, this this idea that we all have to be part of the same culture. He represents so much. There's so much brevity. I just want to say, and just to bring up that anecdote again about the planning Holly, that planet Hollywood incident in the kitchen, Tim Murray, O's Michael Hartney his career. Wow,

this is so just think about that. I think we'll see what happens. We have someone who's been coming. They're both gonna come very hard. They're both gonna come very hard. That's gonna be one to watch. It's gonna be very much are all we have. I'm you know what, first of all, just as a point of excited, as a point of unity, I think you and I have done a very good job with these matchups. Amanda Dwarte did, and this is why I respect. Just to go back

to Amanda really quickly. She asked if there were any male female matchups or any non same like homosexual, you know, same gender matchups. I said, there's no male female matchups, but there is, and we'll get to this later. There is a male non binary matchup. But I don't know if that if that's the same thing that Amanda is talking about, I think to think that and she and she sort of, you know, she said that was very interesting, and I think I admire one of my team members

who is able to question my decision making. I like that. I want that. Well. I think it's actually trash that she questioned the decision making because it's it's a it's a gotcha moment, it's wanting something that was a private conversation. No, it's a gotcha moment um and I think that she is asking gotcha questions. And I also think that to assume that we would just make these pairings based on

gender is very small minded. Obviously, these are some very specific and carefully curated matchups, and um, I personally feel insulted. Whether or not it's you that feels insulted by your teammate, that will be something. But again, just things you're putting out into the karmic hemisphere that are just really questionable. And again I really questioned. This is from karmic scholar Matt Rogers. Okay, now let's go to the next match, or let's do that, Let's move on, let's move on.

This is so Now we have someone from a little bit of Texas and someone from a little bit of Georgia. Here we go. Now, um representing the great state of Texas, where the hair is big and the sticks are juicy, we have Chrissie Shackleford. Now, this is to me one of my one of my very favorite people on my team. I can't wait for this now. I say this knowing full well that her first I Don't Think So high

on our show was quote Matt fucking Rogers. Now, what an interesting, curious thing for you to and bring up my self loathing. But go ahead now It's It's different though, because she came from me because she wants me to be the best version of myself. And she came from me because I was interrupting you during your I don't Think so honey, And she knows she loves this show so much that she wants to see it fair and square and and to its fullest potential. And she wanted

to give you the space. And also she wanted you to have the space to humiliate yourself. You know what I mean. We don't need to hear my voice to hear the garbage that you spew. You know what I mean? She said, no, no, no, Matt, don't interrupt him, Molly talks. Let him drown himself. Okay, So I see a really smart game player there, and she knows how to get to you. And also, you know, the most difficult trouble topic in that first I don't think, so, honey, was

Julie Andrews. And she pulled Julie Andrews and she was able to make a compelling argument against international icon Julie Andrews. And if that's not the marketings of a great champion of I don't think, so honey, this is someone who could win this whole thing. Now, I just want to say that it's very curious that you bring up this strategym of this gambit of um. You know, she is gonna just let the other side, the other person destroy themselves,

and you know, I identify with that. I feel like your team and your whole um, the conversation that you've directed at this point has been very antimey and ty bow and team Bowen is bad, Bowen is gonna suffer. But blah blah blah blah blah, champion my team, and so you know it's sort of like the Democratic Party, like what was their message during the election other than no Trump? Like, what like what were they going to do for the American people. I'm it's very reminiscent of that.

And it's interesting that you bring up Chrissie's strategy in this way where it's like, I might just let you destroy yourselves because your platform has no leg to stand on other than no bo win. So you know, it's it's interesting, that's not true. I think I've I've I have a well round the team. I think Christie is going to bring it home, and I absolutely think she's going to destroy whoever this is on your team. This

is La sharp Kneed. I've had multiple people come up to me and say her, I don't think so, honey. At this live show, which was white people who clap on the one and the three instead of the two and the four, was one of the most incisive. It was very good. So it just it can it came from such a a good, real place. I mean, only Shella could have done this, you know, only she was very She's she's a musical person. She has witnessed this firsthand.

She she saw a problem, she attacked it. It was a great I don't think so, honey, And it was the I don't think so honey heard around the world everyone has. People are still coming up to me and saying, Shella, that's that's the icon. She's incredibly worthy um of being here. In fact, when I mentioned to Christie that she was going to be competing against Sallea, I did see some reservation on Christie's face. But I think that will drive her okay, and I think that she will. We will

be buried in the sand. You know, Georgia is really this new They're calling it Yollywood. I'm sorry, how Tollywood. It's where stars are born. It's where stars are born. It's where all the industry is going to end up in at some point because there are tax breaks for film production there. Well, so we're gonna all you know, you know, we're people working in this industry might end up in Atlanta at some point to shoot up a

TV show or a movie. Um and um, you know, we would want to stay in Atlanta's good graces and maybe UM give Chalea a well deserved win. I'll just say, I mean, I'm not we don't need to give her any when in fact, I think what we're gonna see Bowen is live on stage tomorrow night. We're going to see the night the lights went out in Georgia. How

dare you? How dare you? And look, speaking of if we're gonna talk about states, if I hear one more fucking time from see Shackleford about bluebonnets, the dicksie Chicks, fun barbecue places in Austin, sixth Avenue in Austin, U T Austin, whatever the funk about Texas, I'm gonna lose my mind. She she's trying to where she comes now, she's in your face about where she comes from. Like my opponent Matt Rodgers, who always has to bring up

at every fucking moment that he's from a lot Long Island. No, I've survived Canada, Australia, Colorado, the oppressive places that are Canada and Australia from Long Island. Actually rash, I'm an immigrant and I've come so far there he is playing the victim again. So I refused to be a victim. I'm gonna quote Tony Morrison. I'm not the victim. I refused to be one. And that is absolutely my narrative. I share so much in common with Tony Morrison. Let's

discuss these next, beloved. Now, this is our technically our only non homo gendered PA airing. This is Gabe Gonzalez versus Peter Smith. Now, Matt, this is art queers. Yes, art queers. My contestant is Gabe Gonzalez, who I'm proud to have on my team. And let me tell you something. It was a bilingual I don't think so, honey. It was. It was. It was that was historic. And he did it on baseball via the troll ball. It was incredible. He tackled, you know, um being a young boy being expected,

in fact culturally expected to watch baseball. There was this. I don't think the honey was so layered. It was international. It was an international, I don't think so, honey. And he attacked America's pastime and lost coaches. Coltury is a very American show. It yes, it is. And to take it that far, I think this was a real challenge. And he hit a home run, a grand slam, if I might use some baseball terms. He rounded all four basses and he slid home for the for the win.

He was the Houston Astro. He was the Houston astro. Now, um, you're right. He was able to pull from his own personal experience in such an artful way. He talked about his upbringing as in a Puerto Rican household, what baseball sort of meant in that household? I will say, um that he you know, he might have he might have alienated some people. You reach, you had to reach, and not even not even why would he Why would that alienate? I don't watch baseball. I don't give a shit about baseball.

He didn't pick the topic. It was the trouball honey. Yeah, but if he's gonna he had to make a coisive argument against whatever we picked. But he was able to slay. No, he didn't make it relatable to me. He talked about he talked about the only good thing about baseball being seen in the guy's butts. That's not relatable to you because I don't know the the only related the only relatable thing about baseball is getting to go to the games and eating the food. So that he had that,

he didn't mention that to you. Makes it USU down the drain, absolutely down the drain, down the drain. Now you are you are a wench. I want to talk about disgusting. Remember in this matchup Peter Smith, now, Peter that Peter has lended their talents just so many times. What they've helped us out in the past, their betting impression that has still has people talking with their own I don't think so Honey is both at the live show and on their episode, now this is uh Peter's.

I don't think so Honey's were as follows Uh and I think Peter Peter, this is historic. Peters through the first trouble on the episode from a short period of time. We we're giving our guests the option of drawing from the trouble during their recording, and you gave them a hard one and they pulled the hard working middle class. I think they nailed down on the head. And then at the live show, guests who come into my home, I give them a can of pop and they leave it.

I mean, that's just a full story right there. That's that's baby shoes never worn, four sale, baby shoes never worn. That's a full story right there. See a red flag here though. They used the word pop and that's that's that's part of the storytelling. It tells you that they're from the Midwest. I don't need to hear that. Why not? Because it doesn't then I don't need to hear that. Pertucan family. Um, listen him saying the word pop, like them them saying the word pop. You are a trader,

not a feminist, not just transphobic. Matt Rodgers, them not saying soda took me out of it. Okay, al right, so you're gonna level the same argument against me that I leveled against Gabe. That's fine, that's it really took me out of it. Okay, So this is another draw. We were seven for seven draws, So here are last two. Let's yeah, I give the edge to Gabe and you give the edge to Peter. There this next controversial matchup, and I couldn't be more thrilled that it's controversial. Dare

you the face shaker uppers? Facebook uppers? We have Marsha Belsky for team Matt, Nicole Silverberg for Team Bowen. Now this, I have a hero on my team. Let's talk about the backstory here. You think you have a you have a martyr on your team. That's why you have that's Jonah not the same as a hero. I believe that a little bit of backstory Nicole Silverberg posted this extensive, exhaustive, in an amazing way, this list of things that men can do to support women, um, just in everyday ways,

but specifically in ways that a deal with sexual assault. UM. Just talking about believing women, talking about supporting women in the right ways, talking about not taking their space during in these conversations, which is something that we've anyone male

or female, but mostly male can learn. And she posted this amazing educational, not pedantic article pedantic article that was eventually published on The Guardian, and Nicole subsequently received death and rape throught on Twitter, um and Facebook on all the platforms, and then Matt's teammate Marcia sort of came in very nobly and uh as a sign of support and solid already said men are scum, which got her

band from Facebook for thirty days. Now. This is a horrible story on all, just every part of the story is just very very very um you know, depressing and demoralizing in some way. They both went through a lot. They both went through a lot, and I think Nicole rightfully when this matchup was announced, um, she called it fucked. She called it fucked, which you know why, We'll give it to her. It's a fucked matchup that but that's

what I love. Okay, here we go and this I'm not the one saying that this is Matt You know what, I think that this it's better that they go up against each other. Why because we could see because they know in there, they know that this will cause them to go one hundred and fifty because they look at each other and they have utmost respect for each other. You don't think the other would throw the competition for for the other person, Absolutely not, Absolutely not. I think

that this. I think I looked at the list and I saw the two of them, and I said, they must go up against each other because look what they do and what they stand for is you couldn't say anything about them like this is. These are two incredibly necessary people. I think it's so funked up Facebook banning Marcia and they have since lifted the band because I think they've seen the error of their ways. By the way,

Mark Zuckerberg is a fucking maniac and idiots. You know what I found out He owns of the wealth in the millennial generation. He owns almost everything. He's just a piece of ship. And Facebook is crazy for not banning these fucking monsters, real monsters who pose real threats and Twitter and Twitter, and they banned Marsha and they like Nicole has to go through all this garbage just for like like spreading like what is necessary in the world, so you know what, pit him against each other. I

only care about good. I don't think so, honey, this is gonna be. This will what they've been through. They're gonna bring to that stage and they're gonna bring the fucking heat. This is you know what, this one, this one really, I feel this will be intense. I feel such a mix yes, exactly, I feel such a mix of emotions. I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm happy, I'm terrified. All these things. I just repeat, let's talk about what they've done, so my Marcia has done. I don't think so, honey.

Freedom of speech. I'm telling you, this is someone who is not afraid, she has no fear to take on the first Amendment of our Bill of Rights. And you know what, knowing it's going to be recorded and played nationwide and for millions listen to and posterity, and this is someone who I'm telling you, I see nothing getting in Marsha's way. Now for Nicole, she has demonstrated such

a versatility. I think I have the versatile queens. On her episode of Lost Culture restas she I don't think so honeyed quote you showed me the movie Joy on an airplane and UM, I believe um. One of her little sound bites in that one was, UM, I would rather um the plane go down with the president on it.

And at the time, this, this was pre inaccuration, this was President Obama, and she was so willing to, you know, sacrifice the life of one of our best presidents and just so just to drive one of the best, one of the best, and um, you know she's not afraid to throw her political alignments aside to make a point. Um. And then her second I don't think so honey was at the Live Show, Second Live Show. She was the

first trollball draw of that show. Jennifer Garner via Trollball. Um, she I believe she used the phrase capital one bitch. You know. UM, I think she did really well with that with Jennifer Garner because then she shared afterwards when we spoke to her afterwards at the intermission, she said she actually loves Jennifer Garner and the fact that she's able to turn that part of her brain off her. You know, let me just go easy, because I love Jennifer Garner. No, she's not hard. She even came from

her marriage. She came from her marriage to me. Presents a problem, okay, because if you're such a feminist while you're trying to tear it down another woman for her marriage. And also, why are you attacking a movie with a female lead. I think the Cole Silverberg is a wolf and sheep's clothing. I think she is branded as a feminist and someone who shakes facebook up in a good way. But I see through it, and I see someone who wants to end the careers of young actresses who embody, spirit, grit,

and grace. I won't question Marcia's feminist um alignments her her beliefs, but I will just ask the listener right now, go back about forty five seconds, um, and just listen to the part where Matt Rodgers refers to Marcia as my Marcia. Why the possessive, Why the possessive? He's possessive? Is Marcia never problems? Marcia chattle to Matt. Okay, Well, I think that Marcia fly with the other Eagles. Matt is not a feminist, okay, And this is unbelievable that

you are such trash. You have a shitty ass. Your mom never told you how to wipe your ask. It's funny, Um, I feel like you have an ask that has shipped on. I've been hearing this insult handed down. I believe Tim Murray on social media called said I have a shitty ass, and I said as well. Tim picked it up. And you know the fact that Matt's team members have to resort to there's a lot of borrow but the fact that Matt's team members have to resort to borrowed language

is quite tragic. Um, they can't come up with their own because there's so much. Let's go to go to the last matchup. This is Diva Deluxe. This is Diva Deluxe Deluxe. I looked over a hot engineer, Whill, and he was just like raising his eyebrows at that run. Will is exhaust Well, you know what he's getting paid. Okay, So this is Diva Deluxe. And this is a huge one. This is the this little end round one one, and you know this is this is Diva Deluxe. You know

what I mean. I'm like, this is Dvin Deluke. These are Deluxe divas, and this is as big as it gets. And the reason these two are parents together is because they both created moments in the second I don't think So Honey Live that stopped the world, world stop. It took a minute, but it did carry on, but it was they were shocking moments, shocking. Let's go through them, alright, And my team is Michelle Buteau. Now this to me is an iconic, iconic comedian who I'm I'm so thrilled

in gags. She's doing this show her first. I don't think so Honey, I don't think so Honey Live. I mean, we were just honored for her that she even was there, and she came out and shut down uh act one. She went last. She said, people who don't funk with the song deskbus and by the end of that song, by the end of that I don't think so honey.

I fucked with Desposito and I was who she was talking to because I didn't work with And I have Michelle Boe to think I'm gonna cross party lines here, and I have Michelle bu too to think for um being the first person to ever say the words or the name Cardi B and my presence like that was the first time I ever heard about Cardi B. This

is someone who sets the tone of culture absolutely. And her second I don't think so honey, when she was invited to be a guest on our show was if you're invited to my house and you don't bring ship, I don't think so, honey. Really, Um setting the tone for etiquette in people's homes henceforth. I mean, you know, both of these are about behavioral things, and for her to sort of want to be corrective about behavior is dangerous and unwill be. And you know she wants to

tell me how to live my life. That's that's not gonna be. That's not gonna fly when you've been living it incorrectly. Okay, So my oh, I'm so excited for my teammate, my team member for this. This is Annie Donley. Now she what she did at this live show was let's just walk through this beat by beat. She comes on stage with a giant fucking hat of her own.

Then for the black sun hat, bold pink lit rude to come into our house and now wear our hat but anyway, stone cold look on her face like she was too fucking good to be there, and we were gagged from the second she walked on stage with that were her face. We were like, oh my god, Diva Deluxe. And then she walks on stage stacks that our own culturalista's hat on her own hat. She knew what she was doing. She came prepared, she came correct, and she her I don't think so, Honey, was Matt Rodgers and

bow and Yang. Now, people have definitely come come for us before, and I don't think so many that we know, but this was above and beyond explosive. And I will say before we get into this, I will reference something that she done on social media. She she she challenged herself and she posted a status a few months ago like the status and read your asked like a fucking drag queen, honey, And she got hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of likes. Read almost all of those people to filth. God.

I mean, she's a dangerous person, dangerous person, and it's definitely it's definitely gonna be very um very interesting to watch and see what she does. I just wonder, have we seen the best of what she can offer. We've seen her. I just wonder, can it get any better or bigger than coming from the host of the podcast and roasting us as a pair, as individuals and for

what we stand for. I don't know. I think she might have blown her fucking load with her huge you know penis her her Facebook post about reading people like Draftford just hundreds of comments deep. That was the Benghazi hearing of her. If we're gonna if Annie is Hillary, that was her Benghazi hearing. Just the stamina that just putting up with people's bullshit, being like, why aren't you hurry up on your reads? Why aren't your reads coming in?

She took her to time. She was cool as a cucomber the whole time, delivered on these I don't thinks on on these reeds like call it with Joe and Boosters. We'll bring up as an example, she said, and I quote fat femination, more like microderm abrasion, get your skin fixed, you ugly or something like that. I mean, come on, I am I am just girding my loins. I'm not saying that it's not going to be a fucking fight, but you know what, that's why it's Steven de Luxe.

That's why Steven lux and I just want to quote a couple more things from her, just to take about to her. I don't think so, honey, um, she said, Matt Rodgers, can can we hang out? Can we be friends? Because it seems like all your friends get famous except for you got hurt. And then she said to me and bow and Yang sponsored by Spoke, no, sponsored by

warby Parker, Honey, it's you want to get fucked. It's called one D. And then she said she emphatically added a period to that whole whole piece by saying, contacts Hunt, go back and listen to the audio, because the audience is fucking do they go fucking crazy almost as much as they were screaming from from Michelle Bote, but almost as much. You have to listen to the audience during any Downley's Um, I don't think so many of the audience is just wailing and screaming and going this battle

pairing is gonna shut it down. It's gonna shut it down, and that will end round one. And then there is a little bit of a twist or some twist. So Matt and Bowen, the two of us, we each have a steal of someone who's been eliminated from the other team, who then will compete on our team in round two. Yes, so then then we have, yes, a redemption, which is one of us just taking back one of our own eliminated team members to fight at our side one. So truly,

if they lose the first round, it's not over. They can still go on to win. Again, this is going to be very much a gag. This will be judges Jill Kim Booster, Michelle Collins and a surprise eyes third mystery guests joh which will be revealed, which will be revealed now. Um, we're we can't wait. We hope this little rundown has given you all the context you need. This is considered this a primer for going into Tuesday night,

November seven. Yes, tomorrow tomorrow culture and I don't think so many Death Match PM seven pm doors at Villain three or seven Kent Avenue. Yes, by tickets now because you don't want to get to the to the door and have to pay a little bit more honey. But again it's a part of New York Comedy Festival. We're so excited. It's going to be a blood bath. But Also, I love fest. I love fest in a blood bath. Absolutely, that's the beautiful thing about all of this. This is

all for love, all out of love. What we did for love. This show bitch yes now matt Any closing thoughts, uh, fuck you, fuck you. That's it. By By. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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