"A Story Like Mine..." (w/ Jaboukie Young-White)

we are part of New York Comedy Festival. We're so excited. Bo When and I are pumped to bring Coach War and I don't think so Honey Deathmatch to the Villain Stage in Brooklyn on November seven. This is gonna be two teams, one team at another team Bowen Boo and they're gonna be going head to head to find out which team can deliver the best. I don't think so. Honey's head to head death match tournament competition and Bowen and I are going to be captain and two teams.

We have an amazing blue ribbon panel. We're going to be really really very soon. It's gonna be very good November seven. Coach War New York Comedy Festival. Tickets on Stone now and then it's back to basics bitch on November eighteenth. We're gonna bringing our our third edition. I can't believe it's been three times. I don't think so, Honey Live, fifty comedians, all killing it on the stage, you and the audience, getting your laugh on, getting your gig,

getting someone's phone number. I think the show is a really good place to meet someone because like they're having a good time. You don't have to talk about shared interest. You can talk about the show. It's happening right there. I don't know. I think it might be a good idea. So come as a single person or come with a new day. But either way it come to either show or both. We have Coach War on November seven, then to York Comedy Festival and I don't think so. Honey Live,

Brooklyn Podcast Festival, November eighteen. Rest in peace, you have her seeing don last Cultures. If it isn't you again my greatest rival. If it isn't my nemesis, no doubt you've been hooking around town. Yes, I've been turning all the tricks. What about you. Who are your john's these days? Not so much hooking as booking. Okay, she's a booker. Yes, all I do is book book books, no matter what. So in this scenario, I'm I'm a sex worker and you're an actor who's doing well. Wow, you guys, these

many audio plays are a new specialty. And you know what with that? Welcome to last cultures like clearly culture warriors here. I mean you just got some right served on your a little tiny plate as an appetizer. We say appetizer because the episode is just beginning, has just beginning, honey, and oh the main course is crumptious today. I think scrumptious. I think I think this is a scrumptious one and also an eligible batch, an eligible back. Let's get into that.

What I'll find out if it's currently you know, at a certain point you will expound. Okay, Um that right there was a reference to our guest being on El Magazine's forty Singles under forty Um. He had a great little ride up, He had a great little profile, and he was also in Rolling Stones twenty five. He was also written up on Splitstarter, on for There on the Verge Future and for being a Twitter tight maestro. Yeah, genius, genius stuff. I mean like I'm just like okay, yeah, like,

oh he's this is he's he's peaked. That's crazy of you to say because he's literally in there, he's in the room. You didn't let me finish my thought, go ahead, finish. After every tweet I see, I go, oh wow, that's how is he going to top this one? And then and yet he does? Oh my goodness. This is our guest. How do you feel about bowen stopped? Like constantly a decreeing like where your career stands? Honestly it every morning it's great. Wake up in the morning, open your eyes

and think is today y? Yeah? Was that my last fire was as the fire extinguent? There have been so many fire tweets? Yes, of course, I mean, okay, here we go, because you have there's a wide sample to choose from. What would you like, how do you look like? Like? When will you And this is such a basic question. Basically you'll draft a tweet up and you'll go, let me, let me just ballpark this wager, K like will you do that? Ever? And you can and that's such a

you can say yes and have any team about it. Yeah. Um. Occasionally sometimes we'll be like I know this is going to get this yes, y Yeah. It's not like I'm like I don't know, like this one, I kind of know. But there's some that just like take off that. I'm like, I did not see that. Yeah, yeah, are you the type of tweeter? Because right like in the nacency of Twitter, I remember just being like in our little group of friends.

But this was back in college when Twitter was like it was like baby be Twitter, Twitter, like writing jokes with this novelty and then uh, good friend Henry Gamil, he lives in l A. Now he writes for Efforts for family. Uh really great guy. Um, I remember him being so academic in diligent about he kept a notebook. Yeah,

like I think Billy Domino had a Twitter. People had notebooks, and I feel like, I mean, I don't know if people still do that, but I feel like there's still this drafting culture where it's like I'll save it to my drafts, I'll walk in this later. See. I wish I was better at that. I don't do that. I was gonna do that. I think that makes sense. That reads because Jabuki's whole sort of of is like just very very very it's not it's not bound by like

some like hyper intellectualism. It's very intellectual, it's very high brow, but there's this like palatability to all of it, which is the best part. There. Go my tweet is spelling errors and uh my tweet my Twitter that my tweet is spelling errors and celebrities. Sometimes I look at my Twitter. Sometimes I look back at my it and I'm like, hmmm, what am I coming across as? And it is as a full idiot, but I still think I deserve more

likes you do. It's and being a full idiot self awarely is better than my sort of and we started talking about us. We're just kicking this off talking about ourselves. Um my sort of You know. The whole thing is that I'm looking back at my tweets and I'm like, these are aging, These aged horribly, and I'm coming off as this smug, pseudo intellectual little bit and I fucking hate myself. I remember when I first moved to New York, I saw one of your tweets that was like, I'm

actually fighting the patriarchy by making electronic music, right. That was great. That stuck with me thinking about that tweet everythingle something like that. Honestly, Um, Henry, my boyfriend at the time, was like he was nervous to meet you because he thought that your online presence was very severe and he thought that you were going to be this like serious person who could kill you with their games. I can and let me just and no way, You're so nice. Thank You do have a lot of photo

ops though, like some good photos. Oh you're talking about like like on instant stuff or like Facebook. Sure, I mean, thanks, Thanks. I don't know if you can tell if it's like an Instagram model like posing in her kitchen kind of thing. It's clearly this was stage. Um. I mean no, I'm I'm up friend about that, but I was going to say, um.

I felt that same way about Jabooky because Jabooky and I Jaboki came at the highest recommendation of Sam Taggart to be in this show, and she was like he was like Jabouky, like, let's bring Jabooky and I was like great, who is he? Um? And then Sam shree me his Twitter and I was like, I was like, this guy's too funny. It was like too good for

this small role. That's that's what I thought. I was like, I was like, he was like he's going to hate this, like this Okay, that's insane because I was like, oh my god, these are like all the like who know, like I don't know what the fun I'm gonna do. Like I'm just like you know, you know, I mean, you know, we all have our inferiority complexes. Let's just leave it at that. That's true. That's true. We're all imposters on the inside, but not you, not you baby,

real deal. And Jabookey does this thing very well where I feel like he will, um take take some sort of Twitter me to like the hilt and then like every's like, okay, everyone else go home, like he'll do He'll do the acrostics better than anybody. He'll do. And I'm just throwing a lot of praise on you. Thank you. You must be praised. You must be praised. And and he's he does the dialect like most I want to say,

most dialogue tweets are like plus. But then Jabooky digging it in for an A for an A plus cinema score cinema score a. Um, so then let's find out more about him. So now We're gonna ask you the question that we ask all of our guests, which is jabooky. What is the culture that when you were helopping made you say, oh, I feel a change in me. This is the culture that defined you, the culture that made

you who you are today. Okay, I'm gonna say first and foremost, the I love the v H one series for real my whole childhood and yeah, so good because my parents were immigrants, so like I didn't have cultural American touchdownes like passed down to me, so it was kind of like, oh, I'm playing catch up now of like learning everything that's American like a condensed way. Yes, yeah, it's like really the spark Notes of like American. I

was gonna say, that's real. Number eight one of culture best week ever is the spark I love the Blanks on H one is the spark Notes Cure. Those were great. They were so good. Eighties nineties were both so good. And then they did I feel like this, I feel like this went so under the radar, but they did. I love the New Millennium, which was like the comowoousn't it was still like we were in It was too soon.

They should have just kept doing I Love the Eighties Part two, Part three, Part four, Part five, Yeah deeper. Also when you look back at the like first, I love the eighties, Like some of the movies that they picked were like like I think they were definitely like iconic of that year, but like there was many other things like something like I remember um, like they did like a big thing on Heathers and I don't think maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Heathers was a

huge movie at the time. I think it became a cult film like in the years following and so like. But they spent a long time on that movie. So that's like a very kind of retrospective thing to feature. But like what is interesting to me was hearing about the things and the trends that were popular literally at that time. Right, yes, that's what I want the window.

I don't need the retrospective like Rube Excubes, Like yeah, okay, I get that they're still around, Like yeah, yeah, man, that's what it is, and it and they could benefit they could have done this thing where they like devoted a whole twenty minutes to one thing instead of like the five of the Town. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I mean they could have definitely just TV, which I know sounds like whatever, basic, but like that, I mean

that would that would I would watch that? Yeah. Also, I will say it got me to have quite a crush on House Barks, Remember House Barks. Yeah, but Michael and Black was like the babe, I don't like Michael and Black sexually. I don't think of him like that so cute, so cute really with m yeah, yeah, he's just so like snarky, so dry. I was like, I aspire to be that, right, I guess I don't really respond to dry. I respond to like doing a little too much? How never really did that? How did too

much all the time? How how it get loud all? You know? And I loved him, remember I've been like a little dog. But then I found out he was very confusing because that guy was also on the show Folk playing like a very gay man, but he was himself was straight, and so that was confusing for me as like young person wrestling with their own sexual idea. Yeah, I was like, are the all the cute guys straight?

But then we come to find out that's not true, that there are aute guys later on in life, we found that out, but you also confronted this reality that it's still relevant today where the streets are taking our roles. So I don't know, called queer as Folk, and there was literally like the women were gay, like two of the women were guy. I think almost everyone on Queers Yeah, I ever rely. I think at least half of the guys on you ever watched Queers Folk? I'd seen like

some episodes when I was really young. Then you get it, you get it, But I feel like I'm going to separate off me and Dubookie from you, just like window wise, like we missed that boat. We missed that. You know what I'm saying. How much younger do you think you are than maybe eighteen months? So like in the in that eighteen month window, like there was a generational gap, and I'm like, that's when they stopped airing reruns on Logo. Wait, did you grow up with cable though? Okay, okay, that

was a time that I didn't. But then when I got it, I was like revenues, like getting as much as I possibly could, like it's open. I didn't get cable until junior year of high school. Yeah, and like deprived the whole time and that's and like in that sort of desert phase, like I fucking loved going to hotels because that they had the h one and MTV and I could watch that chet and like, yes, like it was that that was my way of like picking up all this stuff, and it is. It is a

real thing. It's an immigrant experience thing that some people will never got. There crying a lot. So they both began to cry. They both they both cried. Yeah, no, I I know, I totally get that, and that is

that is such a good answer, I know. So speaking of a gay cultural touchdown, which is returning, I think what next week Dynasty and Grace because you um, I occasionally did because in the period of time that I didn't have cable, I would just watch all those like multi camp sitcom right, they're always on, yes, but I never got any of it, like it was just so

far away from me. Yeah, I can definitely see see that was like all that was on like in my household was like where we're almost another episode of Friends and like Will and Grace. And now it's funny because you think back on those shows that absolutely could never happen again, like like with these like all white casts like it would be crazy, It's insane, Like friends, they literally all looked the same, those guys literally all loo But and yet Will and Grace is back, and I

know that they get that. I know they get like a past because it's like gay. So what's your thesis here? What are you trying to say? I don't know. I'm trying to say. I and I have had this theory that big media is trying to like push us a little bit back, you know what. Let's speak on it. I speak on this because I feel the same like when I saw Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt like really rising the ranks in Hollywood, I was like, this feels a little too corn bread. Yeah, raised in corn Yes,

Like it was like very much likelier Middle America. We know what you want? Yes, like yeah, and it was kind of just like serving that to them. I think that, as we've seen recently with some recent castings, I think like this is all very true. I feel that, however, there's an interesting rub because you have someone like Jennifer Lawrence who's like this Middle American princess and like star

of like oh all these like beloved movies or whatever. However, like the project she chooses is like Mother, you know what I mean, It's like this like a person who's obviously like pretty progressive. I think, like it takes fucking nudes, like wants to be in Mother, like all these things. Like, however, she's been cast as like America's sweetheart, who's like that chicken the football game, who like can hang with the guys, And it's like, I have a feeling that's not her.

What is that gap though, between like like an outwardly projected person persona personality. Maybe that's just well, we're never gonna know who any of them really are ever ever ever, and so we have to accept the fact that, like when you see so and so on an interview, you're literally seeing them for three minutes, and they do live a full life outside of that. So it's like we're never going to ever know them. I feel like, you know who I know, soph I just I feel like

I know this person. I honestly don't have any answer, Like there has to be so I thought has to be an exception to that though Kelly Clarkson, Kelly, Yes, loving this out. I'm very happy that he said that. So basically, I feel like because I was eleven years old, like when I was watching her twelve and twelve years old, like any of corn fed Oh yeah, I mean truly, George W. Bush a girl next door is that she doesn't make any apologies. However, she is a Democrat and

did support Hillary. Remember when she voted for wrong. She did not vote for Ron Paul. She like she said for him, she said he would be my guy at one point, and then she got read toothill and we're still going to let you. You're still gonna let her slide on that, Like that's crazy. She could have said a lot worse people than she could have said, a lot worse people than Ron Paul. This was the two thousand twelve election. Oh, I think it was actually two

thousand and eight. It was during the primaries of the two watch. I don't think it was two thousand eight because I remember this so clearly. Okay, if you're gonna go from George Bush to Ron Paul, I don't trust well. I don't know that she voted for George, but she was like a Bush coming off of that, and you're like,

we need to run. Yeah. No. See. The thing is I think the reason I feel like I know her, and I feel like if I ever saw her, I would just start talking to her like normal is because well, I don't know if that's true, but he knows that it's not true. He knows I would just start crying

and thanking her for what we don't know. Um, well I do know, um, but I think that because she literally I watched her become famous and I knew who she was before you and have literally googled her most days of my life to find like what's she doing? Like I feel like pretty close to her. Is there a celebrity that you feel like you know even if it's like ridiculous to think so, this is probably the most ridiculous answer. Kanye Cool feel like I know Kanye that.

The thing about Kanye is you could make the argument that he is unknowable. Would you say that a total cloud at this point, you don't know where he's at, simply a cloud completely disarrayed or arrayed, like just spread out in every like like I'm someone who's just like so conflicted because I have loved him since day one, but now it's just like how do I reconcile that with like who he is now? It's so hard. I'm like a closet Kanye apologist at this point. That's fine.

It's hard to you can't, you really can't. I feel like you He's not like he's not like the most reprehensible person in the world, and he has the worst and he has been subjected to like this this thing, especially with fucking Taylor, where it's like scary, like a scary black dude versus like, you know, pretty white girl. It's like that has been projected onto him kind of a I don't think that anyone has changed the fabric of the Americans. I guist as much as Kanye has.

And that's twenty first centry that really is. You think he's changed it more than someone like Kim Beyonce has. I will say, this is my argument. Kanye made people wear shutter shades like we were literally half blocked. That was so even back then two THO during when Stronger came out, I was just like this is stupid. I

was like, this is bad. That was that tour because I remember that was when we all first came to college and the statement everything on st marks had shut yes and I would I was trying to make friends with all the other new freshmen, and so I would look back into their profile and the summer before everyone that went to NYU had gone to the Kanye westconsin and when we were in those shades, and I was like, I literally thought to myself, God, damn it, I missed

that concert because those shades look really fun to wear. I don't really care for Stronger. I think Stronger is like a C plus of a song, but I would have loved to wear those ships in itself. The shades were like an amazing, brilliant merch moment, like amazing genius genius Like I I, I am inclined to agree with you because Beyonce has changed the zeitgeist in a way that is very like deliberate and calculated. I'm not saying that predoratively, but Connie, it's like really like it's not

even like a Justin bieber Typer. It's like, oh, he's a mess. It's like with Kanie, it's like you're transfixed, like what is going to happen next? Yeah? I think that's I mean, every time Kanye does something new fashion wise, it's in H and M like three months later. Is that so? Yeah? I guess I'm not I guess like, I'm not that fucking like you know, like the like the last year before Pabla, like just New Trip like and then everyone was wearing New Yeah. I guess they

were like, no, that's that's fair. That's a fair I will say though music industry, I would say probably Beyonce has changed more from the digital drop that like revolution before and after the digital drop, it's a game. I do different people, Like it's so funny to think about the Beyonce that was singing like single ladies and to now think about and even then that was a different person from sucking. I listened to Bills Bills, Bills like

on repeat. Recently the way she's singing was started a real cool and that was just like she sounds like a fucking dying bird and now she's like, oh, like she's screaming or there were the years where she's screaming. Now she's like like giving you like female Kendrick. Um. I was trying to do an impression of her singing ghost and it sounded like this you recognized it, but I meant like that I knew it. Um. I will

never forget. When she put that album out, I started listening to it literally at twelve or two, we texted each other, Yeah, you said, I remember the words. You said, this is a sick dream. Yeah yeah. I was like, I can't believe this is happening. It probably I feel like it's probably not how opening, there must be a mistake. But then it happened. I got home from this Christmas part. It was December. I got home from this office Christmas party. I was wasted, went back to my shitty apartment and

it opened up my computer. No, it was on Instagram and then she like dropped it on it like she's like she like marketed it on right now, go overdraft your account overdraft. I probably did at the time. And God, don't regret it for a single second, Like God, yeah, no, Beyonce, but also Kanye just socially, it's like you will have discussions about what he says, why he's saying it, who he's fighting with right now. He Beyonce really low key

did put feminism into everyone's mouth. Yeah, like Hike and yeah, Hike, he did that and brilliantly like would use other people's words like chimaman, like let me just cut this stream am onto Ted talk someone else. It'll just be someone else's words that I'm like elevating and of course you do that, like that's brilliant and literally like not for another. I know Chimamanda DJ has like her perspective on Beyonce,

but people know who the fuck Chiama because of Beyonce. Also, I think some something that gets kind of like forgotten is I think sometimes the way you measure an artists impact is you think about who comes after them. Beyonce when she became what she became, I think around Crazy in Love is when it really started happening. Like the way they packaged Rihanna in the beginning was Beyonce light. What they tried to do with Ashanti was remember I'm married,

need more Mary, number of culture, I'm Mary. It's this one thing that that was in this was it hitch It was in the hitch Town track hit. What is she saying with like during the beginning, no no no no no no no no, not that part which she's like keep what is she saying? What is she saying? I think it's literally no no no no. Yeah. It was a lot of that and even that is like very Beyonce, you know what I mean? There were so many fucking copycats. And that's how you measure something that's

like really hitting culture. For example, Desperate Housewives becomes the iconic thing it was, and then the Real Housewives happening, and they are all of a sudden, like these network dramas with like all female casts, and you know, things like that lost. How many copycats did that? Um cause?

And you know, you see with Beyonce, like not only the impact she's had on like black women, but also women in general, like in the music industry, just like the way that they packaged pop stars was different and continues to be different now because she's changed it again. Now you have people coming change in the way they release music because it has to be at least a little different than the Hi my albums coming out in three months, I will be on the Today Show, like

you know what I mean? Yeah, of course, I don't even say now, like Beyonce now like has like been her success as a proven quantity has been able to like has enabled people like I don't know if this is a good example, like sayss like have you listened to says this album? It's so good? I feel like it's it's maybe like maybe that's not a fair line

to connect those two dots. But it's like, oh, but it's like that that sort of allows these other people to be successful in terms of people being on that level. I think everyone on Beyonce's level said to themselves, Oh, now it's different, Like now I have to do it different and I have to Frank Ocean wouldn't be able to be there. You go, like just dropping something digitally or like teasing like a music video doing no press, yeah, no press, just like here's something like it really created

that whole excitement around now. It's like if you saw Frank Ocean or like Beyonce on like Saturday Night Live, you'd be like, what do they do? Why are they doing? Are they did SNL last year? I was like, isn't he and and this isn't to say that like Beyonce like invented this whole thing. It's like no, like they were like the Eric about dudes, and oh my god, I saw her life last weekend. She's incredible and her voice is like you think, like you think I'm gonna

do a really bad Eric impression. You think Erica's voice is like see your next nive that like you think it's that it's like that soft dulcet thing, but it's like she can belt her fucking I didn't realize she like hit this note like it was beautiful and I'm just gonna try, and she was like, god, it was just well you tried. I tried it. I immediately stepped off number. It's true number five of culture. Number five. Yeah,

that's that's it's important in its general. Um No, But I'm saying like, like like you had those people, like you had those artists. Here's the deal. Beyonce didn't invent anything. She didn't. I mean I think she. I think she

she revolutionized and modernized a lot. But if you look at old Tina Turner, you know what I mean, the whole like formational dancing, like three chicks on stage, like ripping it in terms of dancing and vocals like that's uh, repackaged and repurposed by Beyonce and it's given to us, and thank god it is. But it wasn't a creation of Beyonce. And I don't know if it was a creation of Tina Turners. But these things are nothing is near. I think invented having twins though, and it wasn't even

her twins. It was the late twins French dancers that she had on her Mrs Carter Show World tour. It was those two like it was just such a deep cut. Sorry, remember remember that, we're just like twins, French twins that like oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the boys or whatever, and they were like spinning in Twirland and they've been on all her tours. They were at the formation. She didn't she didn't meant having twins. You're right, I think so. And I think she invented um cutting, just doing a

pixie cut, doing a little little remember remember that little cut. Yeah, so you don't think Rosemary's baby Mia Farah, you don't think that the haircut, even though it happened forty years before. She didn't take a mirror selfie. Me if he didn't take a mirror selfie and destroy the Internet for a day. Remember when that was like the big Beyonce and he was like, she cut her hair and now it's like she might have had an invitro pregnancy or whatever. Wait,

here's the thing. People still fucking coming up to me saying Beyonce didn't have her kids. That's wild. Okay, why does it even matter? It doesn't matter, doesn't I think it matters to build because she pretended that she had that she was having them if it's true, which I don't think it's true. For the wins, I feel like maybe she wanted specifically twins and like had it done in and then had had some sort of insertion and whatever.

That's not the right terms. Um said that she hasn't had any of her kids, none of them she actually gave. Some people say, I don't. I think the twins people think she really had them. But when she was pregnant with Blue, there was like an interview she did where she sat down and appeared that her belly indented, and then people were all really going crazy. It's pretty munny. It's funny, funny. It looks like what people say. It

looks like it looks like her belly pops in. One of my favorite videos like that is the one of Justin Bieber blinking his reptilian eyelids. Have you seen that one? People, because like the grain is like so poor on the camera that it looks like he's like blinking a second eyelid, like underneath his eye. I love those conspiracy here's a question, if there is an Illumini, who sits at the table? Who's the table? Um? Honestly, I don't think that it's

really any celebrities. I think it's bankers. Yeah, like realistic. It's definitely not Beyonce or it's like VC people. It's like people who are like rich enough to like by by immortality. It's those people like Rockefellers, Like Rockefellers. That's this new thing with like rich people, with these with these rich men, is that they want to what is that thing when he died he had like six heart

transplanters about Rockefeller. Yeah, one of the one of the ones who died recently had had like an absurd amount of organ transplants. That's I mean, that's the thing. It's like, it's like once you're that rich, like you have everything and like you feel like godly at that point and you're all The thing you care about most at that point isn't like necessarily your business or whatever any of

that stuff. It's just how do I keep how do I stay here for as long as possible so I can experience this for as long as I want, which is like that's scary. I don't know, And you know, what's the scariest part is the fact that that is in all of us. That's why we wake up and like work. You know what I mean, It's like, man, that's the sound I make when something's cookie. Okay, let's go what is it. It's a little bit of a cookie singer. No, okay, I think not at all. I

think I think there's some untapped. That's because you haven't had lessons. I haven't you have such a nice chamber? Do people say that to you? Because you really do? You sound real smooth on the mic. Really right now here we go. Good? So you love music? Yeah, I love music. I'm definitely a music Are you a childish Campino fan? Okay? Oh shit, yes, But it didn't happen until later. And it's only casual because I was compared to Donald Glover so growing up that I was like,

I'm not like him. Yeah, Like I was kind of like, no, I don't why would people like I mean, I mean, like other than the basic because that's it. That's all it is. It's like, well, you're that's why it's annoying. You're queer. Um, you have a different whatever. It's Donald Glover queer. I'm saying Jabooki is queer and Donald isn't. But it was just like, oh, you're like black, but

you're not like a Martin Lawrence type. And yeah, it was literally that just insulting to like other whatever anyway, Um that's I mean, I will say I'm the reverse of my childish Gambido fandom because I liked him back in college when he was like our little secret I

mean too. Well. The thing is like we I was in the sketch group that he and his uh like contemporaries like started, and so he was in the same program as me too at n y U, and we knew him from looking up to him because he is this like you know, up and coming, like the legend was.

And this is true that while he was still in school he got hired as a writer on thirty Rock, and no one could believe that he was just like you ce be like kind of on genue, like he like really took off in a way that was like he was young and it was cool and there was a legend um and a writer and an actor and it was a legend. Like for the for the two thousand seven season MSN Now or for the two sees in ms and all when like t A went on for Serapalent, like he was like contender front runner for

the for like an Obama. He was, he had auditioned and it didn't. But even back in the day, it's like, oh, Donald Glover is this guy who's going to blow up and then he did. Well it just the thing is he did blow up in in respective to like us, you know what I mean, like watching him as like people that were younger. But it's crazy and I mean crazy to see where it's gotten now, like he want to Fucking Emmy is like history. Making Emmy is like seeing him with the Golden Globes, seeing him at the

same awards. Know was like fucking Rachel Bloom, who also we know, and it's just like to see them both. We know a lot of people. I'm not saying it like that. I'm just saying it's fucking crazy because those people that, like you, were told we're special and thought were special, like really were on this huge scale and that's like surreal. And so that's why I ask you about him, because he's like such a thing. Right, we're gonna say I was gonna say, I want to make

the discussion distinction. I love Donald Glover, but childish Gambino I was a totally here that I will say something kind of obnoxious. Now I feel like that sentiment that you just expressed him out of, Like these people who were told are special really did end up being that way.

I feel like I kind of I feel that way now with like this like this this community that sounds so colin, but like I like, I feel like the Jabookies of the world, the you know, the little the little Joe Firestones of the world she was she was on last week, Like you know, like that's I just genuinely feel like it's it's such a It's so cool because you look up there and you're like, if I could happen to them, like it truly can happen to to us and to anybody, and not because I feel

like they're the same as us, They're not more talented than us. But I just feel like, you see it realized in a way, and it's so crazy to see not only Rachel and Donald We'll go up there and win Emmy's It's not just that they created their own ship and are in it in every way. They're starring in it, they're writing it there, directing it, show running it,

and that is there are these utters. It's it's crazy, and you know, hearing that he was a musician was like extra, Like I was just reading an article today that was like talking about but I guess because the Emmys are over now, they're thinking about what the next award show is and it's like they're gonna be the Grammys and it's like Childish Camby. You know, well, they're like in February. I guess the Oscars aren't until March, so, um,

I don't know. For some reason, I guess because the submission deadline is happening for the year that you can be eligible Photogrammars because it ends on September thirty. That's how the Grammy year works. Um. They were talking about like what is going to be within that period, what we should look for, and it was like Childish Gamby and a childish can being on. Like if this guy goes up there and wins six Grammys, now, like that's crazy.

He's so absurdly talented, it's bizarre to wrap your mind around. And I just started watching I just caught up on at Lantown and I'm like, God, it's I'm gonna say it's frustratingly good. It's like, damn it, Like I wish it's because it's good enough at this inaccessible enough, that's at the at the level where you're like, oh, like why didn't I come up with that? Yeah, it's like this whole hisle episode, like in this on this you know, public Access talks so good, like like that's so simple

and straightforward enough, and he has commercial parodies. It's like that was a whole episode, this whole episode, and it's like I it's like I could have thought of that, and like and this is a very solopsistic thing, but it's like, you know, you know what I'm saying. It's like it's that kind of goodness that it's like but wait, like that's so simple and like you know, it's it's

it's wild. It's a perfect medium, like truly a vision but also something that everyone can enjoy, right, because I have to get into that because I was intimidated by Atlanta because it's like it's gonna be Donald's thing. It's gonna be so so intellectually hefty and like great, and I don't know, I need to be in the right mood for that, but no, it's like the pilots almost perfect,

basically perfect. Well you forget that he's also just the writer again, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, some of those old Derrek comedy sketches, do you know Derrek Comedy, like the old sketch group that he was in, So just go back, Like some of those sketches are a little problematic now, Like their first big literally their first huge sketch was called bro rape like like but it was a huge sketch and it was just like but at the end of the day, like that's they're like

not saying that humor now and I'm certain they're not proud of like that. And like Blowjob Girl featuring a then on um And also this other sketch which is called spelling be but but spelling and it's not it's wait, no, I remember that, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, so funny and like and like it's fine. It's it's problematic, but it's fine because it's because it's at the time. It's

all the time. I don't know if they're proud of that ship now, but I watch I'd watch any one and he says the word fagat and I'm like, no, this is hilarious. Yeah, it's great. But but what I'm saying is like, deep within him there is that person that's just like a stupid comic, which is and I love it. Yeah, um you know yeah right right, and that he has to come back down to that at some point. I mean we all have. We almost returned

to our baby. Yeah, there you go, Ruboki. Okay, I don't have to talk about what the pilot actually is, but you just finished, like you're like, is that like your like what's your like blue guy? Like and just answer this, Yeah, what do you wanna be doing this? Like as openly as you want? And like who cares about ego or anything? I don't know what for sure? Okay, go for it. Well, um, I want to be president

of the United States. There you go. Well it's possible. Chicago, Chicago guy, Chicago guy Chicago and has one has done it before before? Exactly? Though? I umcoln. It's actually funny that we were talking about Donald Glover because he was really like the person who I saw growing up and was like, oh wait, you can like do comedy and you don't have to be like the star of it.

Do you know what? I mean, like because when I found out about thirty Rock, and I was obsessed with dirty rock, and then I found out about like the writers from like reading Bossy Pants, and then I started learning more about Donald was like, oh, he was just like a writer on that, but he was also doing

like acting. But like before, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but like all the comedians were like, oh, Dave Chappelle or like Kevin Hard or like like people who were at this unreachable level that made a scene so unreal, like not a thing that you could do. And Donald was really the first person that showed me like, oh no, this is a thing. There's like very viable, Like there's jobs in this that aren't necessarily like huge,

but like you could for sure make a living. So yeah, for right now, I love writing, like loving in the writer's room. Um, that's like a super fun experience, just

like you've got a good room right now. Yeah, it's amazing, Like yeah, it's so great, and everyone's like playing off of each other really well, and just the feeling of having like a brain trust with so many different voices that are like on the same page but like all contributing like their own unique inputs really sort of kind of puts their voices in your head where it's like now on other bits that I'll be writing, and I'm like, oh, but like how would this person approach Like maybe I

could try to like incorporate sort of a different angle

from this. So yeah, right now I'm kind of just trying to experience everything really because I would like, I have a pilot written, UM would love to like produce that right for it, ideally starring it, but like I want that to be the most informed, like highest version of what I'm able to produce, and that requires me knowing like the technical aspects of it, like other things that I can't just like go in with like some bustle and album, and it also requires fucking time and

like years. I mean, like we were talking before we went on and about Issa Ray and Insecure. So you watch the show obviously you did? You watch the Okay? I wish that you were caught up because I mean you you guys, and I think I know some of the big things that happen. I just finished the second season and I thought, like I did love the first season.

I thought the second season was like something else. I thought it was like, just like, if not a perfected version of the show, because who's to say where it will go in season three could be even better, like a fucking home run. Um that season finale, there's a scene between Lawrence and Issa which is just like so written, so beautiful, so beautifully. Yeah, that was one of the most realistic breakup scenes I had seen on TV and

a long time. It was, and it was it was like it it doesn't allow you to think, well, we'll see what happens with them, because that's not how things go, you know what I mean. It almost makes you it almost makes you say, well, how is he going to be a character on the show anymore? Because this show, this is a show about her and like she's closed a book on this Like it's so so hard to

accomplish that in a scene. But you know, directorially, in terms of the rioting, in terms of the acting, it was like this beautiful goodbye and it was really well done. I think it was one of the best scenes I've seen on television. And I think that like along the way over the first two seasons, there's been there's been some scenes like in last ex episodes I talked about and I want to know what you thought about this.

The scene where Molly finds out that her boyfriend Langston Kerman had Jared had been with a dude in college, and everyone was like, funk that he's gay. He's gay, he's gay. What did you What was your read on that? Um? For me, it was like that reads pretty true. Really Yeah. I know a lot of people who are like open mind, heavy air quotes that will be like so down for that, but they're like but not my men, Like wow, everyone can be like sexually open experimental with my man has

to be hectoro sexual. So like I was like, unfortunately, that's just real. Yeah, And I felt like I was wondering if they were making a comment on like Molly the character, or this was just a thing that like women felt like this a lot. Yeah, yeah, that can be pretty I actually know a couple that ended like that. It was like oh no, no, no no, no, like he's like I think you're gay, Like, yeah, it's rough. It's a real life thing. If your boyfriend ever like to puss,

what would you do? Well? He used to tell me, I will embarrass it by saying he did. Used to tell me that he wasn't like a Kinsey six gay like he like then he was like sometimes to try to do women, Like sometimes you would come home and be like, I was it drifting to a woman? And I was like what I was like? And that makes me that that causes me to ask so many questions because I'm like, because I would absolutely and I love women. I can't even dream of having sex with a woman. Dream.

But you're not a gold star gay. You've had sex with wom No, I really have not. I am a gold Yeah, I bet you're not goltar Is. You haven't goltar Is. You haven't had sex with a woman. Oh no, I'm guilty. Wow, you platinum if you are a cesarian section, which means you've never gone through Oh my god, I am platinum. To describe what platinum is, Platinum is like you like have never touched a vagina platinum c section? No, Like,

but what are you talking about? Section? Like surgically like just cesarian sections out like they did not pass through the the vagina you know what? Right? Yes, sure so they have, Like you're a gay who has not even like whatever it is, I'm platinum. I've only not a titty over a shirt? Did you know, you know you're not platinum, Matt, did Katrina? Were you born through? So? No? I was born through the vaginal canal the star. But that's unfair. We have to celebrate. She couldn't tell rate

platinum wild? But I bet girls do you try to hit on you all the time when they don't know? Still? Yeah? And do you let them know? No, No, that's a stupid question. No, it's not a stupid question. Let's just let it right out. You know. Sometimes I am not off forward enough and then it's like this has gone on too long. Yeah, and then you gotta you know, yeah, you gotta have some Sometimes I'll be able to take

my platinum. I'll be at work and I'll be like doing my thing with the tables, and I'm like, not not gay, you know what I mean? Like I'm like definitely gay. Well, I guess because I will get so many phone numbers from women, that's right. And I'll be like, this is crazy to me because I definitely just left her table being like sure thing, like saying sure thing,

like I know, smooth shut so gay, so gay. I feel like I know a couple of straight guys that will definitely gay it up in service positions or just like because it works their benefit. It's like non threatening. You know, it's straight guys, damn it. So the straight guys. Maybe if a girl's on a date with a guy, the guy can't think like this fucking server is trying to hit on my girlfriend. They can think, oh, this

guy is gay, or he's cool and getting a tip. Yeah, and sometimes it's just like low as women's defenses too. Sure it makes them feel No, that's fair, that's fair. I don't. I don't know. Straight guys gang And that's what I'm saying, Like at the end of the day though, that that's the thing. Be yourself, just be yourself. That's I don't like it. It's appropriation. Yeah, there you go, don't up, don't call up. Sure thing. I might as well be on a scooter at work, I said, I

say literal sure thing. You bet you classici I am. Yeah, I guess that's you know what. On the other side of that, I will get it up. When I am a customer and it's like this, it's usually it's like a female, you know, person behind the count, like just a female behind the counter, and just to like break that tension, I'll just be like thank you. I'll just like thanks so much, you know what, just to like add some levity to that. I don't know, how do

you think you're to get be treated better? Because I think I don't know, you know what, there's no function. That's just who I am. Straight guys who gave it up in service jobs. That's that's not necessarily even service. But like I can see where it's like, oh no, like I see, I see what's going on. Yeah, I see, I see what's what's happening? You know? Well, well, have you ever been in a service position? Um? Yes, what did you do? I was working at a pizza place

for a couple of months, only a couple of months. Yeah, only a couple of months. Literally, in the middle of my shift, I was like preparing a pepperoni pizza and I just like put it down. I was like, honestly, this like is not for me. And the manager was like, oh, do you want to do cashier or like, do you want to sweep or something. I'm like, no, it isn't, Like this job is just not for me. So, um, I'm gonna go, oh my god, how old were you? I was? Yeah, that was my first real job. That's

that's crazy. I would never have the balls. And how many times I wanted to do that? Thousands? I've been for eleven years. Yeah, and then I also worked at Clark's Shoes ever god like, it was so vicious, it was ugly. Oh my god, oh my god, my god. I quit that one pretty bold too. So I went in on Mother's Day late as hell, like passive aggressively late. I was like forty five minutes late. And I had like asked for Mother's Day off and she was like no,

like I'm not gonna give it to you. So I come in late and then she was like, jabookie, you're late and I was like yeah, I know, it's like forty five minutes. She was like, well, I'm gonna write you up and I was like, I mean you should do that. That is like the proper recourse for lateness. And she was like, I want you to clean the bathroom and I was like sure, the bathroom at Clark's. Yeah, in the back and back, and I was like okay, cool, like that's a thing that we do with this job.

And then she was like I want you to clean so good your mother would eat off of its, right. So then I wrote this long ass letter that was like, um, I almost said her name. I was like, my boss said these things to me, and I understand that, like this is a colloquial term, but this was sucked up

for these reasons. And then like I literally dissected the sentence and then like explained why everything was sucked up and then called a racist and then I was like, I'm I'm leaving, and I walked into work and then I put the letter down on the counter and I just turned around and walked right back out. Didn't say anything. I hope that she didn't read it and like throw it out. I hope someone is one of her superiors.

She wasn't there that day, and I think like everyone Loki kind of didn't like her, so I know that they were eating that ship up in the bag. I just dropped that it's good for you for calling that out that like that that that racial element because it is just like so fucking gross and loaded and yeah, but like but like that's I mean, that's great. Like I feel like there is there there are so many lessons in both of those and jokes where it's like I don't know, man, like if you fucking hate a job,

just leave it. Have you ever been in a service position. Yeah, first job was serving ice cream at Maggie Mouse, which is like a more cartoony version of Cold Stone. Did you sing? Did not sing for taps? And people would constantly ask you to sing for taps, like they would drop like a quarter in the in the in the bucket and I'd be like, and they'd be like, don't

you sing? And I'd be like, no, sir, even though I could have could have belted the house down, and then you exactly um and uh yeah no. And it was awful. It was awful, and it was run by these like two Mormon lunatics and it freaks that freaks Matts. Matt's looking at me. It's horrible, like um, like a like Terry Gross would if I were to Did you ever feel like you're going to get carpetal tunnel from scooping? Yeah? I know I would would get like wrist ship. Yeah,

I've heard of breaking their wrists scooping ice cream. That's real. It isn't real. It was. It was bad and like hated hated the smell of any kind of dairy for like a solid two years, which is like I can't be around you didn't eat the ice cream you were there, you would eat it all the time, but then you would like fucking hate yourself because it was just like and that's that rich ice cream and it's just the

smell klung on you See. I would say that I wouldn't want to ruin ice cream for myself, so I wouldn't work on ice cream place. But I would have worked at a seafood different safe restaurants for years and still would rather eat seafoold every day. That's interesting. Yeah, I can't get enough of the stuff. And that's another thing. I love this stuff. There you go, that's I mean, I mean, but no, I'm I'm like, I love this the way that Chabuki has quit his jobs. How do

you make the checks? Now? Um? Writing? Honestly writing? Um stand up here and there and my living situation is just very interesting. So in uh basically like a socialist co op. Great wait where Yeah, it's in bedside it's off the Franklin a c. Yeah, and uh yeah it's really cool people. It's like a full um like four story brownstone, so there's like a decent amount of space and it's like protected by New York government and everything, so like the landlord really can't funk with us. Do

you ever feel like you have alone time? Um? Yeah, yeah, because I have my own room, so it's like I could always retreat to that. But in a way not not in a way that like a lot of people I know who have like two three roommates where it's like, oh, everyone's gone, like someone is always gone, So it's never like you have the house to yourself, you know, which is fine. What are your in? What ways do you contribute? Like like like how does this work? Like do you so? Um?

Basically a part of the rent is utilities and groceries, So we like all go in on groceries and we have like bolt like Quinwa pasta rice like all that stuff, And honestly is a great model to actually more people should replicate it because you've saved so much money and you have you have food. Yeah I don't know. Yeah,

so that's really cool. And yeah, you like split up duties like uh, like Sunday is like my day to like clean the kitchen or not because it's like high traffic as fun, So like there are some trade offs where it's like that's kind of a job, but it ends up being worth it now and then like yeah, it just you you just saves. It just pays. It doesn't pay for itself, but you know what I mean, it's so worthwhile. Um, it's great. Honestly, I would not have been able to stay in New York probably if

I did not find a situation like that. How long have you been in New York? Now? I've been here a year and some moved here last July. Is one of those people who hits the ground fucking running hounds that pave remember his name. I was Chicago before that, right, and then all your life before that? Great? Oh my god. See like one Barack Obama who became president. I grew up in Harvey. It's like a suburb on like the

far south side of Chicago. But it's weird because Chicago culture of like the South Side just kind of extends sort of into the suburbs just because of like gentrification. Same goes for the same goes for the same goes for like stuff like about like Steve saingoes for North Side too and whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, you know Chicago, not really, I pretend like I do, certainly, don't you certainly always tell people like if it made sense for me to move there, I would move there like that.

I think people say that, but then no, there's just so oh my god, like horrible. There was one year, my freshman year of college portex Yes, it was the week after literally negative fifty degrees. We went, we we went, we went, we went to week after and it was like it was like seven degrees and we were like, oh my god, we're going to die. Like we ran

out of groceries. We had to go to Jewel like two blocks away, and like it was so windy that my eyes were watering, but it was so cold that my eyelashes froze and I had to rub my eyes to get my eye open. Literally, So you can't go outside at that, you can't, Like you there are like three months out of the year that it's like fun to go outside of Chicago truly so beautiful, but it is negative five zero now okay with window but of course, but that is that's not for humans. That is plutonic.

Can you imagine like literally if we were not like a civilized like like species like and that just decided to happen, like probably I one will be dead yeah, I guess I protect yourself. No, yeah, you need slabs of concrete to separate you from there. Yeah, that's literally crazy. I'll never forget when we went through the week after the Poet Vortex and I would like skip into like a muffin store and like talk to the girl and be like I like it here? Do you like it here?

And she'll be like, no, you have. You are so fucking annoying. You don't know what it's like. You weren't here last week. And I was like, well, this muffin is cheaper than it will be in New York, I'll tell you that. And you're friendly. Isn't the people there? She's like, I want to kill myself. I was like, bye,

I need fine fair. I just I romanticize the times that I am there because I've I've had fun, fun, fun like I've only I've never had like a truly romanticize in Chicago Hamilton's I Yeah, no, I didn't get that at all, like benders of nights in Chicago and not really here. Oh you can be such an alcoholic and fun. It's a lot of fun. They sell alcohol everywhere everywhere, everywhere. You're just like I had to think

about it, though, I had to honestly think about it. No, Taco Bell, Yes, what do they sell Margarita's the way they do with Chipotle? Sure? You ever get him Chipotle mar It's pretty good. It's okay Chipole. Chippole does case though. Now, isn't that wild? What probably does? It's crazy? I had something and it wasn't It was fine. Um, Chooba, they're coming for us, come outa coming. I don't think I've ever know. I have been to Kotoba there, Kudoba's out here. There used to be one on in my I think

there is one. What did they turn that down there? Yeah? They threw it down? They said, did they turn it Downdoba. It's not going to work at this time, you're turned down. I'm just gonna say best gate club in the world. No, not as Scarlet. That's where we went and it was the best night. We were there in Chicago and it was cold, It's very cold, and Naomi Smalls came in after us, the drag queen. Yes, and it was Scarlett

and it was lit. Any any opinions on gay bars on gay night like Chicago has the best gay night life, I'm going to say, Um, honestly, I was never really into it when I was out there, like it's really before It's like it's so aggressive, and it just was not. Okay, that's the Chicago guys are no joke, you know. I hooked up with the Lithuanian guy who was fifty years old. The story we haven't told this story, yes, all right, So this was when Paparulette went to Chicago's Sketch Fest

like four years ago. Three years ago, okay, a long time ago now like four years ago, and I really hadn't gotten late in a long time, and we were all were kind of like, let's let's go out. We want to go on definitely like try to have sex. So we went to Berlin and I wore like this like three quarters sleeve like baseball shirt, like really trying to twink, like I was like really trying. So I walk in and immediately this guy's like says in like a Russian accent, Like I can't do a Russian accent.

But he was like, it's my birthday tonight, and I'm gonna give you my business card. When you leave, call me and I'll have a car come pick you up and you'll come over and we'll have a good time. No, that wasn't him. It wasn't so I was like I was feeling good. So I was like, okay, cool, and I looked at my friends and I was like, I think this might really happen for me to now I don't know if I'll call this guy but them and

then keep my options open. So then we start like fanning out, like dancing around, and our friend Dave gets like carried away by someone, and you and John Socolo were like dancing around and we would know and people were probab be looking at John. People were no I was. I was loving it because no one was looking at me. You were not interested in the in the meat. I was interested in the meat. But I was almost like op pressure is off, like no, like I'm not here

for anything. Oh they're so racist, especially this place was all white guys. It was like all it was like Eastern European like Berlin's like Pixie Dream like manic Pixie dream girl gay barts like the white the quirky white gays go well, I like dressed the part and like I was like trying it. So this I feel like we're dancing and I just feel this one that cough behind me, and I'm like, okay, cool. So we continue to dance and I look over to Bowen and I go, Bowen,

is he cute? Like I pointed, is he? I can't see him? Literally we couldn't see him at you should say that. I was right behind. I was next to Dave Well John John, Yeah, but Dave is like off with his guy. Dave's getting like dry humped in the corner so like, and then he actually he was now with a crazy guy who that guy tried to suck Dave's dick in the like absolutely not um. And that guy was like closet and was like I have to do it here because I can't go anywhere. And he

was like that's so sad. But we got all this Chicago the cub. But I said to Bone is he cute? And Bone goes yeah, yeah, it was the opposite. John goes yeah, yeah, he's cute. And I said, bo, when is he cute? And Bone goes no, no. So at that point, oh my god, this is such a crazy story. Literally, if you're out there like the young days, never do this, like you could be dead. So I was, so he tells me like we would go we should go home now. I was like okay, So we go outside and tell

them I'm leaving. We go outside. Delight hits him and I see he's like older, and which is fine, what just fine? But it's not what I thought was happening. I expected to turn around and I would see like some guy and it's like, you know, thirties. I was like twenty three. I knew he was older like and I was excited about it, but he was like older older, Um with him. So we get in the car and I said, and he tells the driver his address, and I'm like I'm like, um, do you live really far away?

And he goes, everywhere in Chicago is very fun, and I was like, that doesn't sound like it could be true. Everywhere in Chicago was far. I think you asked him, so where do you live? He goes very far. I was like, like, you live like in Chicago? Right? He goes everywhere? And then I was like, um, how old are you? I just asked, and he goes, how old do you think I am? And I was like thirty five? He goes. I was like okay, cool, cool, cool, Um again fine, but then um, what what else do you say?

In the car? It was like so there was like more insanity, and he said that he was like a nurse. He cares for the elderly all day and he never gets to like see anyone my age. And I said, I said, like, so, were you there alone? And he goes, yes, that is where I go to find them. I said,

I said, fine, who he said, boys like you? And we're in the car leaving Chicago, like we're driving well out of the city, like, and we were in that cabby for a half hour we drove that's like evans no, we du so, and I keept saying to myself, like I do I ask this guy to pull over, Like I'm starting to get like a little unco was this pre or post uber? This was right as uber. We were definitely in a cab. So we eventually get to his place and again, mind you, this is like it's

so fucking cold, everything is frozen over. So he's like, I live over here, and then we're like I have to like essentially ice skate across the spot to get to his apartment. And we get to his apartment. He opens the door and I swear to guy to we're like in like I don't know where the funk we are. We get to this apartment. He opened the door, and I swear to you it's an empty room with a bow flex machine, a mat, and a dog look at like a like a Doberman or something like sitting on

the mat, like Eastern European thing. It was so so and I was like, oh my god. I was like, you know, I need to use the restroom. I was like, I need to use the restroom. He goes, Okay, it's right over there. I'll be in the bedroom and like I was like, oh my god, Okay, I go into the bathroom and I'm like I was like, I was like I looked at myself in the mirror, and I'm like, you literally could leave right now. Just walk out, walk back to the main road, like just wait for a

taxi to come. Stand there, wait then you'll get in the cab. And I remembered John's address where he was staying. But I then I for some reason said to myself, like you know what, no, like I haven't experience like he's a nice guy, like this is fine whatever, like it's all good, like this is fine, like years old, like he's a little older, he's a little weird. He's just far and he's not strange. He's not got anything.

He's a quirky white guy at Berlin by himself. So I go back out, and then I also realized I couldn't leave because I had taken my shoes off, which is so stupid. So I go back out and he's like fully naked on the bed and it was like he was like, all right, come on, let's do this. And I was like, oh my god. So I proceed to get undressed, and before anything can happen, I just go no, there's absolutely no way. So then I turn on this performance where I just say like, I'm so sorry,

I can't do this. I just broke it with my boyfriend and this is not true. I'm just start having this scene and he says to me, and I'm laying on the bed at this point, and I don't have my clothes on. So I go to get up and he takes me and pushes me back on the dead and I said no. I was like if I looked at him and I said, this is not happening. So then he gets off and he starts like almost crying. He's like I'm so lonely. He's like, I they always leave.

All the boys that I bring back here, they always leave. And I was like, I'm so sorry. I wish I wasn't in such emotional turmoil like getting dressed again, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like uh, And I thought to myself like you're crazy, like you're hurting this guy's feeling. And then the other part of me was like, no, get then you should never have come. I was like, imagine like hearing like my mother hearing this is how I went. Yeah, on the bed, but I was with you.

But the thing is like I was in the worst place. I was like, oh, this is literally how people die. They go with single people that are like older by themselves, who literally said he goes there to find boys. And I was like no. I freaked out and I was like, get me the fuck out of here. So I get dressed and I go to leave, and I'm like and the door was like like locked from the inside, and

I'm like can you open this? He's like you please, I please, And I was like I'm not going to and the dog is looking at me like also begging me to start, and he just holds me at the door and I was like, oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god. And he eventually lets me go. That's when I realized it's like literally four in the morning in a part of like Illinois that I don't fucking now, and we're so far away, so and it's so cold.

So I walk out to the main road and I'm like, what the funk, Like, I'm literally gonna wait for it. See I seriously literally fifteen twenty minutes, like on the side of the road, like by myself. I had no other way because Uber wasn't like really a thing. So finally it actually comes and I jump in, and also, you know, my phone was like on six percent. So we got in and I got the take back, take me back to the city. Yeah, And I got in and the doorman was like looking at me like what

the fuck? Like it was like literally four in the morning, and I was sleeping with Boone and I crawled into that with Bowen and I'll let you say this, So we were showing yourself about the night before and then this night when Matt comes back, he's wasted. I'm basically coming out of a drunken stupor. But I'm asleep, but I wake up to him to his body over mine, with just a terrifyingly drunken grant and he goes a

study like mine has never been told. I did not do the accent, but I didn't say the line for memoirs had never been told, and it was. And then I screamed, said get the fun off. And then yes, I told the story the next morning, and no one believed me. And it's so funny and it also said a lot of really weird ship and I can't remember, but oh my god, thank you for indulging that story, Jabouki. Before we move on, we want to ask you Chicago is weird? Chicago is great? Um, just just say yes

or now still single? Yes? Damn wow check that out. Guys. Well, I'm only asking because because I'm following up on the Alps and also looking, um but I don't really have I don't really have time. Also really just rethinking monogamy get into this, Okay, you want to talk about this? Yeah, no, I just um don't think that it really works for me at this point in my life. And yeah, I don't think that it's that you should shut it for us. It is it is such a conversation. Yeah, it's a

whole thing. It's really such a whole thing. And I don't have the education or the knowledge to really speak on that. That's fine. I'm such like in the beginning stages, have you been in your relationship before M and but and that's how he knows yea and also try to do like the open thing. But it was so clear that I was like way more comfortable with that then s. Yeah, yeah,

it's it's it's very hard. It's it's like it's it's like a whole another layer two in the gay community, because there's so many couples that are open, and you're just like, gosh, that's it's just because it works for them doesn't mean it works for you. But you do compare yourself to those couples all the time. I mean, hey, listen, people, Uh, Jabouki is available, but he's not exactly down for um. You know what, if you fell in love with Jabooki

while listening to this, you need to relax. You need to relax because Jabouki, like all celebs, you don't know him. You don't know you only heard him speak for a little bit over and were you don't fucking know him. And also he's not that into maybe that kind of relationship right now. So everyone listening to this, fucking relax, relax, just get step off, step off. The title of this episode will be like, will be relaxed, step off, relaxed, step off. U monogamy is dead. Okay, um, let's move

on to I don't Yeah, there you go. Let's move on to I don't think so, honey. This is the moment I don't think so, honey. The length of the story I just told I'm so sorry. I mean, was it really saga? But I loved it. And the build up, the build up in the day New Well, the build up all goes to you crouching over me and saying, quoting, quoting a movie to me, it was completely repulsive and that was it. That's That's like I was younger than

and didn't understand. I'm not saying it's like the movie itself. It was inappropriate. Just you whispering that in my ear and someone, I'm a gross drunk. You're such a gross drunk and it infuriates me. I called b one one time when I didn't have Uber on my phone, and I said, call me an uber and he has a sponds was you're so drunk, and you know what, I had to call him the uber from my phone and tell him, like a friend, Matt, when you get into the car, you make sure you say my name okay,

And he was like what why? And like a friend? Yes, Um, you know I haven't had to put matth through that scenario. Let you would see me die on the street. No, no, Matt, I very so for a fact that I wouldn't let that happen. But I don't know if I can say the same about to let that happen. But bone would give you ship about it. There you go. You know what, maybe I'd rather die. Maybe i'd rather be. Didn't let you die of the thing, you idiot, that's what's important.

I was in red hook at one in the morning. I don't know, man, just and I told you, I said, Matt, download Uber on your phone at the time. Uber was my phone's not good? Come on? Um? I thought his computer couldn't make PDFs, all right? So this is I don't think some honey, this is our one minute. I was gonna say screed, and I just learned today screed actually means long, boring speech, which is not. People in the press have described I don't Think so Honey as

a screed, and it's not. Yeah, shockingly, Um, we've been using vocabulary words wrong, which for brown is bone is very off. Brandon for me is like pretty part for the course. It is not a screed. It is the total opposite. It's a short, concentrated, fiery, passionate parcels what screeds should mean. That's what it sounds like a screen. It's like an aggressive word, right, And I was shocked at like it's like nonplused. It's like it doesn't it doesn't mean we think it means. So, um, we can

get into that. I'm so nonplussed right now. I'm nonplussed. Right now you're angry. Yes, I'm nonplussed. We haven't started. But people use it all the time, like oh yeah, like she didn't care she was nonplused. It's like, no, that's not the right word anyway, but it may it may be one of those things like literally, so if I'm plussed, then then you're like, yeah, you got sos, alright, let's do I don't think you're gonna go first. I'll go first. All right, This is Boon Yang's I don't

think so, honey, and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Wine bars that don't have peanot grausio, what the funk are you doing? I was just at a wine bar earlier today, and I asked, can I have a peanot grigio or like a buttery shardon a, but I would prefer the pinot grig show. And this man had the nerve to tell me we don't have peanot grigio, and I I had, I took everything I mean to say to not say to him. You're a wine bar, how dare you? I don't think so, honey.

You better fulfill your promise as a wine bar to include every type of white wine. And I don't think so, honey, of these places. The atmosphere, Honey, I don't know. I don't know, honey. The atmosphere at most wine bars is bullshit. And I can emulate this experience at home. And I don't think so, hony, of these places that charge me twelve dollars, twelve dollars for a class of ship. I'm sorry, blanc, because that's what I had. You know, what is is

still very fresh in my memory. So I don't too much. I don't have the enough distance to really comment on this, but I just know that I'm mad. I have I have fury, and I don't think so honey, wine bars that don't have peanot griggio. That's one minute. It's a shame that four of those seconds were apologetic, apologized. No, but you know what, I'm just being really up front emotionally with how I feel about this, and I think that it is a shame that that wine bar didn't

have peenot grigio. Ridiculous, ridiculous, despite that's kind of out of control. It's crazy. No, that's actually crazy. That's such a staple. It's it's white. Why white. I do prefer Savigna blanc. I had a great Savigna bloc there, But like they if they have peanot, if they have peanot noir, and anybody as well have peinot griggio. If you have the black, might as well have the gray I mean noir, of course. Okay, of course we all know that, we

all knew this. Okay, so this is Matt Rodgers. I don't think yeah, okay, this is his time and it starts right now. I don't think so honey Dunkin Donuts because now if I want to order the sausage can cheese croissant, it doesn't necessarily come with the hash browns. I don't think so honey dunkin Donuts. There's no meal option for this anymore. I went the other day and I said, excuse me, honey, can I get the sausage and cheese meal? And they said that we don't do that.

I was like, excuse me, honey, I don't think so honey. I want the hash browns. He said, you'll have to order it separately. I said, I don't think, so honey. Of course I did because I wanted to hash browns. But the thing is, why should I have to I don't understand, honey. And then also I have to order my coffee separate. Excuse me. Also, I don't think so honey Dunking Donuts. You load that ship up with sugar.

When I ordered a coffee ice, light and sweet, don't give me these mouthons of sugar, honey, milk and too much milk. It feels like I'm in that Tiger and the Laddin that collapses. It's so much sand and sugar in that glass. I don't think so, that's one. He feels like the Tiger and Aladdin. Did you get what I was meaning you when I said that, like you are you are the Cave of wonders Tiger, or like when I drink a coffee, it's like consuming the cave

of wonders Tiger. Yeah, it's like what happened if you were in the cave of wonders, which I just found is what it's called. I was calling up the sand tiger. Okay, if you were in the santiger and a collapse in your mouth would surely fill with sand, which is what I feel happens. When I take even one sip of an iced coffee light and sweet from dungantanas, my mouth fills with proverbial sand aka sugar, and it's too much for me. Sugar also known as proverbial sand. Um. Okay,

this is jabooky young wines, very persecuted on today's episode. Okay, this is jabooky young whites. I don't think so, honey, are you ready, jabook? I'm ready? Okay, And I think he gave us a little hint about what it was before we went on air. I think I'm very excited for this. This is jabuky young whites. I don't think so, honey. Time starts now. I don't think so, honey, take her tots, okay. I don't y'all want to be French fries literally so bad.

But you are not French fries, and you will ever be French fries or legacy will never compare to French fries. You will always be a side dish in kids meals, no matter how artisanal you get. I don't think so, honey. I don't care if you put a little garlic gaoli on the side, honey. I don't think so all right, I will always choose some steak fries over you, fries over some some shoes string fries over you. I don't think so honey. Tater tots. You're never cooked all the

way through. Your inside is flavorless. So I don't think so honey. I want seconds brown blakey fries and not that soggy tater tot bullshit. I don't think so. You're nasty, You're wrong. You're a food gastro abomination. Wowny know what else about they fall apart? Yes, that's by design. I said, fuck you, I'm not with it. I'm not I want my food to be whole. I like jabooky. I don't know about shoestring fries. To be honest, are you would

you take shoestring fries over steak fries? Oh? No, there you go, steak string shoestring are the worst variety at the bottom, but there's still above. Tatoo tatoots are garbage. How do you feel like hash browns? Gross? What the fucking little like oval hash browns? Or are you talking about like hash Okay, like hash browns like I think we can agree on hashbrowns, like like pants, like trying pancake. Hash bands are delicious, but they're two different kinds we're

talking about like McDonald I'm talking about McDonald's. Those are disc god, my favorite of my favorite food. You are culture No, no, no, I don't know about They leave this really gross taste in your mouth. Like what was this? You said you were in this argument with someone else about tater tots today? What were they saying? Okay, I dropped it in the room. Looked at me like I was crazy, because I kind of a kind to believe you are. Yeah, Like they were all just saying that

I hadn't had the right Tater Toto. It was a little parallel to homophobia. Honestly, God that Dylan Marin. I want to say, you haven't have you been to kryft Dog's, no taters kryptogs. Honestly, everyone says that I tried some tatter tests today. It was all right. I had half brons today and I wanted to bottom for them, bottom out for brown, for hash brown. But there's nothing like your McDonald's hash brown, and there's nothing like them good

good McDonald's fries when they're nice and salty? Bitch? Is that your sponsor? Our sponsor today? Did you imagine McDonald I want McDonald's money for this podcast, Hpjans? Oh wow, those were that was That was great? That was you know what I will say, Matt and I came today with them. Some retail based, I don't think so, honey,

Some institutional based, I don't think so. It's right like I would have to attack big big food, But I think you punch up, punch up, punch up with Jabooky, punched way way up because Jabooky took on a whole food type which you know pervades everything. Yeah, but who do you think has more money? Tater Tots? Or duncan. I think or Rida has so much fun, has a big big potato, has everything big Potato. Maybe the episode is called big Potato, Big Potato. That's cute. Jabooky is adorable.

J Everyone relax, everyone relaxed. Do you think so much for coming and taking bad? This is very fun. We had a very good time. I got Jabookey on Twitter, jabuie. What can people follow you at Jabooky? There you go, Jerry Booky every plot and imagine just getting your first name. Imagine if I was at Matt do you imagine? I can't. I can't imagine that is It's been amazing for branding on I would fully believe Francesca Ramsey has this like a fun little like like branding like the thing that

I read. She's like, keep your handles the same across all platforms, which is brilliant. Brilliant dot com dot com Yes, yeah, yeah about it, get it, get get good, get it unlocked. I spent three million dollars on Matt dot Com. I guess we're off to the world, aren't we to see it? Congret Perhaps I'm someone that you will never truly know, no matter how big I get, no matter what interviews you see me do you will never truly know me

and also don't presume to know me. And our guest has been someone who has changed the zeitgeist in the money first century more than anybody. Okay, hie, guys. Bye, Thanks for listening, and please remember to get your tickets to either or both of our shows coming up in November Coach War as part of New York Comedy Festival on November seven, or I Don't Think So Honey Live as part of the Brooklyn Podcast Festival at the Bellhouse

on November eight. Thank you. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.