Van-Pires with Eve Esquire

[SPEAKER_00]: When a mysterious me or crashes into a lonely junkyard, derelict bands and cars take on human-like light. [SPEAKER_00]: The band hires up the gas from innocent cars to feed their beef for speed and drain the planet of all its. [SPEAKER_04]: Hey everybody and welcome back to your favorite GI Joe podcast show. [SPEAKER_04]: We are listening [SPEAKER_04]: to each other talk. [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know.

[SPEAKER_04]: I had a bit I was going to do and then I blew it because I forgot where I was going because I was too busy telling myself, stare at the camera. [SPEAKER_04]: This is being videoed and then everything's gone. [SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, we're not doing GI Joe this week. [SPEAKER_04]: Gina's not here this week. [SPEAKER_04]: We have a special guest. [SPEAKER_04]: We'll get to in just a moment. [SPEAKER_04]: But this is knowing us half the podcast and I am Race to Canis.

[SPEAKER_03]: I wish I had a bit here. [SPEAKER_03]: Eve, Eve, do you have a bit? [SPEAKER_03]: Do you have a bit to get what? [SPEAKER_01]: How would you tell me that I was going to be in camera? [SPEAKER_01]: So. [SPEAKER_03]: No, I know this. [SPEAKER_01]: I have this. [SPEAKER_01]: Have this laying around. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, honestly. [SPEAKER_03]: So what I'd be able to get this from Jean all the time. [SPEAKER_01]: But I made a list today of things I have done to avoid watching this show.

[SPEAKER_03]: Hold on, E-Vessquire, everybody. [SPEAKER_04]: Let's just jump in TV's E-Vessquire is here with us today. [SPEAKER_04]: And that's Robert Clark Chan, who I don't think said his name, but maybe he would not. [SPEAKER_03]: Doesn't seem like thing I would do. [SPEAKER_04]: This is at all seem like a thing you would do if I can be honest. [SPEAKER_04]: If what is your list of things? [SPEAKER_04]: We have a lot of bits we prepared today.

[SPEAKER_04]: This is a new, we're more professional when E-Vess here. [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I do. [SPEAKER_01]: I raise the average for everybody. [SPEAKER_04]: That's right. [SPEAKER_01]: things have done today to avoid watching fanpires. [SPEAKER_01]: If I may say the title of the show. [SPEAKER_03]: To be clear, you are the one that suggested this. [SPEAKER_03]: This is your call.

[SPEAKER_01]: And as it told, right, you've kept this in the back of the fridge and the Ziploc bag until it's green and moldy, have gained sentience and it's like, hey, you've come on and guess what? [SPEAKER_03]: You know what?

[SPEAKER_03]: We can't attribute to this monstrosity sentience in no way shape or form is there any kind of intelligence if you told me a I made this show even though it's from nineteen ninety seven I would believe you this is made from a nineteen ninety seven level of AI yeah So things have done I went to hold things to get cute me mayonnaise [SPEAKER_03]: Sure, important. [SPEAKER_01]: And when they didn't have it, I went to a different Whole Foods, a bigger Whole Foods, to get the food.

[SPEAKER_03]: You could just go to Ranch, ninety-nine. [SPEAKER_03]: Come on now. [SPEAKER_01]: I can't, what's the, what's the nearest one, you're us? [SPEAKER_03]: A Sepulveda. [SPEAKER_03]: Sepulveda and Victory. [SPEAKER_03]: You guys are just making up words now. [SPEAKER_01]: I had to go buy paper tells it Ralphs because you can go to Whole Foods for the people tell those things I don't do anything. [SPEAKER_03]: Sure. [SPEAKER_03]: Sure. [SPEAKER_01]: I logged in for work.

[SPEAKER_01]: It updates me notes since I'm returning some work in progress. [SPEAKER_01]: We call that whip in the biz. [SPEAKER_03]: That's a, uh, did you get paid, uh, time and half of that? [SPEAKER_03]: Cause this is a federal holiday salary, baby. [SPEAKER_01]: I could do what I want. [SPEAKER_01]: That's right, boo, because I'm a record. [SPEAKER_04]: Our recording this on Juneteenth. [SPEAKER_04]: And for the record, I didn't work today, but Robert Clark Chan did.

[SPEAKER_04]: I feel like something went wrong, Cosmic Lee in this universe. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, America. [SPEAKER_01]: I did my part. [SPEAKER_01]: I did my part. [SPEAKER_04]: I did my part by taking the day off and going to a trampolineium. [SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, Eve, what else did you do today? [SPEAKER_01]: I composed a composed a post for LinkedIn.

[SPEAKER_01]: I've been created a cans of picture for that post and then I scheduled a post for tomorrow at six a.m. [SPEAKER_01]: so East Coast can see it. [SPEAKER_04]: Wow. [SPEAKER_04]: It's thinking ahead. [SPEAKER_01]: I put on a cover to my Ergonoma secret. [SPEAKER_01]: I Ergonoma seat cushion and matches this. [SPEAKER_03]: I heard her got sea curtain. [SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, okay, I forgot for sea for sea cushion. [SPEAKER_01]: I was a little hard.

[SPEAKER_01]: The wings of the amy kind of poke at me a little. [SPEAKER_04]: I heard you got sea section. [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't know what's going on. [SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, it's been playing for five days. [SPEAKER_01]: Just finally put it back on the sea cushion. [SPEAKER_03]: Nice. [SPEAKER_01]: And talk about wrestling. [SPEAKER_01]: Let's go. [SPEAKER_01]: I ordered a sandwich. [SPEAKER_01]: I went on best to write it or update soon about two less bands.

[SPEAKER_03]: You. [SPEAKER_03]: I got back up back up. [SPEAKER_03]: Where did you get the sandwich from? [SPEAKER_01]: Uncle Paulies. [SPEAKER_03]: That sounds legit. [SPEAKER_01]: It is legit. [SPEAKER_01]: Even Frankie Griffin agrees with me on this. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, amazing bread. [SPEAKER_01]: I just got a kid sandwich to salami, some mozzarella. [SPEAKER_01]: It's fresh. [SPEAKER_01]: It's delicious.

[SPEAKER_01]: And you can eat her on toast. [SPEAKER_03]: Helpful, helpful tips if you live in the valley. [SPEAKER_01]: That's right. [SPEAKER_01]: Let's see. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I froze the pinky dinky do wiki, which will become in handy in a second. [SPEAKER_03]: Don't know what that is. [SPEAKER_01]: And then in a heat, I move my dog's balcony grass that is completely covered in poop. [SPEAKER_01]: Downstairs, I'm put in the new one.

[SPEAKER_01]: Wow. [SPEAKER_01]: And then I checked in LinkedIn for likes and a post that has not even posted. [SPEAKER_01]: All to avoid this. [SPEAKER_04]: That is wild. [SPEAKER_04]: When it gets to the poop related stuff, that's how I know you are really scraping. [SPEAKER_01]: And in this heat, and in this heat, forget it. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, here's the deal. [SPEAKER_04]: So what we watched a show called Van Pires, V-A-N, Pires. [SPEAKER_04]: Dash. [SPEAKER_04]: Dash. [SPEAKER_04]: Dash.

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[SPEAKER_04]: Dash. [SPEAKER_04]: Dash. [SPEAKER_04]: Dash [SPEAKER_04]: the best of CGI of nineteen ninety seven. [SPEAKER_04]: And this is like Beast Wars, maybe better, maybe like reboot quality of animation. [SPEAKER_03]: Not worse. [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_04]: I felt like that somehow the more production work was in there that it be stores. [SPEAKER_04]: It was hideous to look at.

[SPEAKER_04]: But it was that combined with like the green screen acting of like a power Rangers episode, right? [SPEAKER_04]: So you could just imagine that. [SPEAKER_01]: It really does feel like like I can be burned and hams upon, but like truth is no one's burned and hams upon. [SPEAKER_01]: No man can write a song. [SPEAKER_03]: They have a niche and that's it. [SPEAKER_03]: These people cannot write a goddamn thing.

[SPEAKER_03]: And I also did, I mean, I didn't go deep, but I got far enough to find their website, which [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know from two thousand two, maybe they kept trying to download quick time videos to my hard drive. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not every one of those on your web tab is his index. [SPEAKER_01]: I think this is made in Jimmy of cities. [SPEAKER_01]: Come on. [SPEAKER_04]: This is, yeah, those, those quick time videos are the ones you get.

[SPEAKER_04]: When you like, you go by a brick wall in the city and there's just a USB, a thumbnail, some drive sticking out of a wall that somebody like cemented in there and you could take your computer and shove it up to there. [SPEAKER_04]: And you get random stuff. [SPEAKER_04]: Do you know about this? [SPEAKER_04]: This, okay. [SPEAKER_04]: No, this sounds like no. [SPEAKER_04]: This is a real thing.

[SPEAKER_04]: There's a real thing, you can look it up, you can Google it, but essentially there are places in cities where there's basically a thumb drive that's like cemented into a wall of like an alley and you can just find them randomly around the country. [SPEAKER_04]: And if you bring your laptop, you can stick your laptop into it, into there. [SPEAKER_04]: You would not want to do that.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, it's a digital glory hole because generally there's a lot of gross adult content or whatever the heck, but not necessarily and so I haven't done it now. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to say that for the record, but I'm fascinated by the idea of what you would get off of a glory hole thumb drive that's been cemented into a into a building in the city five gigs of gonorrhea I'm betting [SPEAKER_03]: Why would you do that?

[SPEAKER_03]: Why would you take your laptop and jam it up into a wall? [SPEAKER_03]: The security issues alone. [SPEAKER_04]: We're in a country that elected Donald Trump a second time. [SPEAKER_04]: Don't ask who would do that? [SPEAKER_04]: We don't make good decisions in the United States of America, Robert Clark Chan. [SPEAKER_01]: So it looked up the production company, which is Abrams Gentile Entertainment. [SPEAKER_01]: And then I found everything.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then I found everything. [SPEAKER_01]: And I found the about us because there was nothing critical on that main page. [SPEAKER_03]: There I am. [SPEAKER_03]: There you are. [SPEAKER_03]: Trial partners with such ground breaking brands is sky dancers. [SPEAKER_03]: We all remember the ground breaking sky dancers. [SPEAKER_03]: Great great show. [SPEAKER_01]: Your franchise and the best thing about it is one of your toys going into the fire. [SPEAKER_01]: That's not a good song.

[SPEAKER_04]: So here's the deal. [SPEAKER_04]: We wanted to do a little mini game here to just to top it off. [SPEAKER_04]: I was going to guess some assumptions I have about the vanpires TV show and Eve who has done the research will tell me if I am accurate. [SPEAKER_03]: Hold on. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, we haven't eaten. [SPEAKER_03]: No, we're we're now on the subject of Abrams Gentile Entertainment. [SPEAKER_03]: Well, don't spoil any of this too. [SPEAKER_01]: I want to make a guess.

[SPEAKER_01]: I want to make a guess or something in there. [SPEAKER_01]: That is a very big clue as what she is. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, all right. [SPEAKER_03]: All right. [SPEAKER_03]: Well, then so I will have some theories. [SPEAKER_04]: So I'm going to say my theory and you give me a little detail. [SPEAKER_04]: First off, I assume that this show is Canadian or made in Canada. [SPEAKER_04]: That is one of my assumptions. [SPEAKER_04]: New York-based. [SPEAKER_04]: New York-based.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm wrong about that. [SPEAKER_04]: I assume that this is a show that is, my original thought was like, it's based out of some sort of MLM or cult, and that it is being funded by some sort of obscure, weird, religious, wackadoodle organization. [SPEAKER_01]: I had that thought as well, and that is incorrect. [SPEAKER_01]: Part of the production team was part of the marketing and production design for Greece, Star Wars. [SPEAKER_03]: No, no, no, no, no, because I saw that.

[SPEAKER_03]: I saw that. [SPEAKER_01]: I thought it was carried. [SPEAKER_01]: The musical, like, oh, that makes so much sense. [SPEAKER_01]: That's one of the most musicals of the time. [SPEAKER_03]: The first, the entirety of that sentence from the Abrams Gentile Entertainment about us page, John, along with his brother Anthony, as leading film designers, real vague what they're leading.

[SPEAKER_03]: what films they've designed or if indeed they're title, it was film designer or they're just involved in design at some level and at some level have been involved in film. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, sure. [SPEAKER_03]: Anything on on thirty five millimeter or sixteen or eight who knows. [SPEAKER_03]: I had one more guess one more guess here has the design and marketing of such award winning films as star wars. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not a guy this week.

[SPEAKER_03]: Star Wars Jason's property. [SPEAKER_03]: And carry and Broadway hits such as dream girls and the whiz. [SPEAKER_03]: All of those things in caps, except the in the whiz for some reason. [SPEAKER_01]: What if there's a Scientology thing though? [SPEAKER_01]: That was being charged with films. [SPEAKER_04]: What if this is like a battlefield earth adjacent film? [SPEAKER_01]: You know what, looking at it, I would not scream.

[SPEAKER_04]: Well, my third one was that this was made power-ranger style that basically a lot of the CGI was used and then they had different casts for the green screen stuff that they would just bring in and present it over the course of different languages with different casts. [SPEAKER_04]: But the same CGI. [SPEAKER_04]: And that's probably wrong too because I've been wrong about everything else.

[SPEAKER_01]: I couldn't find anything disobeying that, but I actually think this was created for this storyline. [SPEAKER_03]: It's not me. [SPEAKER_01]: It's way too. [SPEAKER_01]: It's such a compelling storyline. [SPEAKER_01]: It's not specific. [SPEAKER_01]: It's what it is. [SPEAKER_04]: So if drop some bombs on us, like what, what are we looking at here?

[SPEAKER_01]: The thing that made the most sense to me is that yes, Abrams Gentile Entertainment has the brothers, but it also has, and I did not grab his name. [SPEAKER_01]: The former president of Migo, [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I think you're toys. [SPEAKER_03]: Wow. [SPEAKER_01]: Think about that. [SPEAKER_01]: Think about how terrible those toys were. [SPEAKER_01]: Think about how poorly designed.

[SPEAKER_03]: If memory serves, they were a Japanese toy that they just like bought and like just slapped a whole new thing over them. [SPEAKER_01]: That's accurate because the start of this production company had its roots in dim store toys. [SPEAKER_01]: That's true. [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, here's the thing, what they say they are. [SPEAKER_03]: They're creating produce youth consumer products and family branded entertainment with sustainable value.

[SPEAKER_03]: They create IP and are essentially [SPEAKER_03]: trying to create IP around toys, like micronauts very much in that vein. [SPEAKER_01]: It is far and away the legitimate claim they have because everything else in here. [SPEAKER_03]: Vampire. [SPEAKER_03]: You're talking nobody knows vampires. [SPEAKER_03]: The other one's sky dancers. [SPEAKER_03]: The Nintendo power glove.

[SPEAKER_03]: I'm curious about because I don't, is that the OG Nintendo glove or is that another one that I'm not aware of? [SPEAKER_03]: That's what I'm wondering, like, is classic glove or is it like a knock-off glove that they're like, it's not the Nintendo energy glove, like the, the original thing is the little power glove. [SPEAKER_01]: It is, it is of the are specifically on there. [SPEAKER_01]: So it's like, all right, it's a serve.

[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm, I'm guessing the Nintendo power glove, they do say it specifically. [SPEAKER_01]: The other thing that I love is that if you know some of that homepage has Captain Bucky O'Hare. [SPEAKER_04]: That was a classic. [SPEAKER_04]: That was the Captain Power. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm like, if you have to lead with Bucky O'Hare, [SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't go up from there. [SPEAKER_04]: Fuck you. [SPEAKER_03]: Here's all I would talk about. [SPEAKER_03]: No, yeah.

[SPEAKER_03]: That seems semi legit. [SPEAKER_03]: But like the rest of these shining stars, dragonflies, Kinder, garden babies, happiness, jelly bean jungle. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, we just began to jump all of things that I don't have never heard about in my life. [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, rumfords. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, rumfords. [SPEAKER_01]: And to be fair, they're so cool. [SPEAKER_04]: They're rumford and sons. [SPEAKER_03]: You're talking about the the two thousand's band, yes.

[SPEAKER_03]: No, I mean, the actual show that was clearly a spin-off of the rumpfords. [SPEAKER_03]: That's why like when when they say Star Wars, Saturday Night Favorite, Greece, Kerry, I'm like, did you though or were you like a fucking PA on Star Wars? [SPEAKER_01]: And I'm like, well, when I say I've been on Fox and it's because I was on there for five seconds on American Idol on the William hung episode. [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, exactly.

[SPEAKER_01]: And then they were used to footage on the H one. [SPEAKER_01]: So technically, I've also been on the H one. [SPEAKER_04]: That means I've also been on Fox after my great appearances on kitchen nightmares and hell's kitchen. [SPEAKER_04]: Master. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I've done the Gordon Ramsey trifecta ladies and gentlemen. [SPEAKER_04]: And I got, and I know nobody watches Master Chef anymore, because I actually talked.

[SPEAKER_04]: I actually talked multiple times on Master Chef full face on screen, and no one has reached out to me about it. [SPEAKER_04]: That's the really set. [SPEAKER_04]: My best would kitchen nightmares dropped. [SPEAKER_04]: I got people around the, around the, around the, around the country, feel like I saw you on kitchen nightmares. [SPEAKER_04]: And then they would rear it and I get it again.

[SPEAKER_04]: Have actual speaking lines to camera, literal bust shot of me to the camera for like five to seven seconds on master chef this last season. [SPEAKER_04]: Nobody gave a shit. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm still angry. [SPEAKER_01]: Hey, home town contact to me for a news interview. [SPEAKER_04]: Over the William hung up a soda. [SPEAKER_04]: See, this is, this is the disrespect. [SPEAKER_04]: Where's the LaVolia? [SPEAKER_04]: Observer when you need it. [SPEAKER_01]: It's a different time.

[SPEAKER_01]: I was two thousand two. [SPEAKER_04]: You know what? [SPEAKER_03]: That's a very fair point. [SPEAKER_03]: Here's here's another. [SPEAKER_03]: The thing that's blowing my mind is that you go pull up Anthony Gentile one of the Gentile brothers and you like vanpires is on there as well as dragonflies kind of visionaries is also on there as a concept producer. [SPEAKER_03]: So like it seems like he was involved on a creative level on that show, which is a show as show note.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_03]: And there are a lot of, a lot of shows on here, as recently as, in, in, twenty three, the executive producer of Kung Fu pork choppers, which sounds like absolute trepid on the list, Chan's part of that right on the list. [SPEAKER_04]: If we don't do Kung Fu pork choppers by the end of this year, I'm riding. [SPEAKER_01]: If you're not driving motorcycles, I ride it. [SPEAKER_04]: They have to. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, Chad, no, what we have Eve back in like one week.

[SPEAKER_04]: We're doing pork choppers. [SPEAKER_03]: But here's the thing, like, like somehow they're not unsuccessful at what they do. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know if you've got this, but I got Albert Payon vibes. [SPEAKER_03]: What's that? [SPEAKER_01]: He directed, um, I believe he directed Captain America. [SPEAKER_01]: He also directed this sequel to Streets of Fire, Road to Hell. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_01]: He was a director.

[SPEAKER_01]: He had work. [SPEAKER_01]: Was it good work? [SPEAKER_04]: That doesn't matter. [SPEAKER_01]: Right. [SPEAKER_04]: Right. [SPEAKER_01]: So, this is not being a netbo baby is like. [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't get religious vibes. [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't think it was like a Scientology thing. [SPEAKER_03]: But if you told me that everything that they did was intended as a tax write-off, like full-on, fucking computers, style, like this is meant to lose money.

[SPEAKER_03]: I would believe you because it is aggressively bad. [SPEAKER_04]: Look, it's almost twenty minutes now and much like Eve all day. [SPEAKER_04]: We've been avoiding talking about this. [SPEAKER_04]: Let's jump into it because my first note, when this thing started up about eighteen seconds into it, because I checked the time, what the f is this?

[SPEAKER_04]: Yes, it is twenty one seconds in before like what is this it's be stores meets live action power Ranger type camera stuff and the plot okay here's the plot as I got all right here we go here we go there [SPEAKER_01]: So, my God, you know, let's drop watch this. [SPEAKER_01]: Definitely do not let's even Miller watch this. [SPEAKER_01]: Master baits to this. [SPEAKER_04]: Clearly. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so there was a media that exploded over a junkyard.

[SPEAKER_01]: A loving junkyard. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, making all of the vehicles come to life and be evil. [SPEAKER_04]: And the four kids who were just somehow hanging out there in the middle of the night. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yep, sucking gas. [SPEAKER_04]: They also can transform themselves into flying transformer mid transformation cars. [SPEAKER_03]: Worst than fucking gobats.

[SPEAKER_03]: If you are familiar with your old enough to have been there when Transformers versus gobats were a thing, you had to choose a side. [SPEAKER_03]: I'd never knew anybody to choose the gobats side. [SPEAKER_01]: Gobats are really choosing a side. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like do you want to get beat up right now? [SPEAKER_03]: It can can you afford a transformer, or does your mom get you knock off go bots?

[SPEAKER_04]: No, go bots are the ones that go bots are the ones that grandma bought for you. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm convinced of that. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, they nobody loves you because they don't pay attention to what you want. [SPEAKER_03]: Mm-hmm. [SPEAKER_03]: I don't even remember what I was saying, but... Sorry.

[SPEAKER_03]: Bad. [SPEAKER_04]: Can you, can you, because I've never seen this in a show before, and from the nineties, I'm shocked by this, but they, you know, they had a very special rating system. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and I, at first it came on the screen and I was confused. [SPEAKER_04]: And then I realized it was a bit. [SPEAKER_04]: And it's maybe the most nineties bit I've ever seen in my entire life. [SPEAKER_04]: Tip or go or congratulations you made.

[SPEAKER_01]: You made this moment happen. [SPEAKER_03]: Here's the thing we have had people tell us. [SPEAKER_03]: that you know like okay you guys watch back cartoons but seriously don't watch this one it's next level and it will not be fun and I thought I was like come on man come on man I [SPEAKER_03]: I've been doing this for a long fucking time. [SPEAKER_03]: I can handle it. [SPEAKER_03]: When we got to this point, which is at one minute in, I was gone. [SPEAKER_03]: I was checked out.

[SPEAKER_03]: I was like nothing that can happen after this point. [SPEAKER_03]: We'll have any redeeming qualities whatsoever. [SPEAKER_03]: This is a gag, but they try and sell it in a very gen X way. [SPEAKER_03]: And what it comes up? [SPEAKER_01]: No, this is the cell in a millennial way. [SPEAKER_01]: Wow, we're talking about this.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's a turnover from Gen X to Millennials, because I think all of us are like, we're all kind of like Xannials, we're in like, that's seventy-seven to eighty-two area. [SPEAKER_01]: But then there's this hard line that happens, and it's like, I, there's no way I'm enjoying this. [SPEAKER_01]: This isn't, has nothing to do with me. [SPEAKER_01]: And this is like, this creating, hit that so hard, because there's no irony.

[SPEAKER_03]: No, that's what they're trying to make it sound like, hey, we're cool kids, but it sounds fully sarcastic. [SPEAKER_03]: And I'm, I'm like, see you, okay. [SPEAKER_02]: What's the reason guys? [SPEAKER_04]: What's the show we did? [SPEAKER_04]: Well, hold up, play the bit, Chan. [SPEAKER_03]: Please, you built it up and it's incredible. [SPEAKER_04]: Viewer enjoyment advised, Chan. [SPEAKER_01]: When they see radical music, the music is written by John Inquisal from the who.

[SPEAKER_03]: One hundred percent they fucking uh... John and whistle was trying to have a solo career and these guys came in like we're gonna make you fucking huge man's gonna be great we're gonna we're gonna get you in everywhere you're gonna become you know you will be bigger than the who is wearing a god and it's like all right i'm on board what he got for me we needed to do a fucking theme song

[SPEAKER_03]: If I ain't fucking bands that suck gas from other innocent vehicles, and he was like, I'm outmights, sorry. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to go into my bedroom, put on my finest suit. [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, Robert Daltre is doing high lander at this time. [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, God. [SPEAKER_01]: Johnny, what's the doing this? [SPEAKER_04]: To me, that entire bit feels like it was written by a fifty-five-year-old man trying to appeal to eleven-year-olds, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: Like that's where you get that. [SPEAKER_04]: That's, I don't think Gen X could take credit for this bit. [SPEAKER_04]: That's a boomer bit for millennials that dare I say it does not land. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I also feel this way about street sharks. [SPEAKER_01]: I recently saw a clip. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Use friend Joey Clif. [SPEAKER_01]: They were in trend like name things on to the nineties.

[SPEAKER_01]: Batman, I'm like, yeah, I know Batman and like another one went off like, yeah, I know tiny tunes and then street sharks went off. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, what the fuck is this? [SPEAKER_04]: But we were done street sharks on the sharks. [SPEAKER_01]: No, street sharks is Millennial garbage. [SPEAKER_04]: It's it's not a very good show. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, right? [SPEAKER_03]: It's better than this, which is true. [SPEAKER_03]: It is.

[SPEAKER_04]: My next note after the rated V for very cool reference is just kill me. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's right. [SPEAKER_04]: One of the go for beer. [SPEAKER_01]: You know who's gonna kill you? [SPEAKER_01]: Because we have not yet talked about some of these character names and that is Van Heel Singh. [SPEAKER_01]: Now you may think of me talking to Heel as in the foot. [SPEAKER_01]: No, could she a poster fee LL? [SPEAKER_03]: Ben Helsing, but like, it's the, it's the van pun.

[SPEAKER_03]: And then the, the music pun he'll sing. [SPEAKER_01]: Also, if you hate puns get your tire iron, you know, the little cross thing that they use at the beginning to like block themselves away from the van dashpires because there's too many puns. [SPEAKER_01]: It is pun. [SPEAKER_04]: I see this one. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm shocked that Robert Clark Chan did not enjoy this on paper. [SPEAKER_04]: This is wall to wall punnery and you should be on board.

[SPEAKER_01]: We're both punna sewers. [SPEAKER_01]: There is nothing better than a good pun. [SPEAKER_01]: A good, well-placed pun. [SPEAKER_01]: This is just throwing puns up the wall and trying to feel the time. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: Yep, yep, there. [SPEAKER_04]: This fills the nineties. [SPEAKER_04]: This is how a team was built in the nineties. [SPEAKER_04]: You had four alleged children. [SPEAKER_04]: You had a, you had a, of the girl.

[SPEAKER_04]: You had a black dude and you had two white dudes that thankfully were wearing different colored shirts because I... I'm not gonna burn at. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's it. [SPEAKER_04]: And to be fair, and the one thing I did notice is that the one kid that was wearing the blue shirt, that is a Detroit lion's jersey with the number and the name of the player like ripped off of it.

[SPEAKER_04]: So it's just blank blue, but it has the same like blue and silver sleeves of a lion's jersey of that era. [SPEAKER_04]: But it's like they took out everything that would otherwise make it recognizable to anyone but a complete degenerate like myself. [SPEAKER_01]: And then most lazy, used way possible. [SPEAKER_01]: It's like having a can't fly sun camera, but you just put the tape on there. [SPEAKER_01]: My God. [SPEAKER_01]: Just act like that's normal.

[SPEAKER_04]: That's, that reminds me of a note for later. [SPEAKER_04]: We'll get into that in the closing credits because I had an observation in the closing credits that made me happy and upset at the same time. [SPEAKER_04]: What was in credits that were way too long for what were you saw? [SPEAKER_04]: Like five minutes long in closing credits for a twenty three minute show. [SPEAKER_04]: What are we doing? [SPEAKER_03]: We are filling time as well. [SPEAKER_03]: We're doing.

[SPEAKER_03]: My next was that I can't understand how the ADR is so bad. [SPEAKER_03]: It's just like, hey, man, we're not walking on the street. [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, I got straight right here that I am in. [SPEAKER_03]: It is very nice. [SPEAKER_03]: It just goes just cuts back and forth. [SPEAKER_03]: No one gives a shit about matching audio quality.

[SPEAKER_04]: wild like yeah exactly they'll be talking and you'll just be like you know like you're in a room and there's a boom bike on the other side of the room and then suddenly one character whose lips don't match the words will just be and I tell you I agree let's find the vampire [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I do in your picture, but like it's I blown away by this even that how did this get made. [SPEAKER_01]: I agree. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I will also say, uh, Jan was part of this.

[SPEAKER_01]: I used to run a all improv show but toys, the green screen. [SPEAKER_04]: Love it. [SPEAKER_01]: If it was silly existing, we would use that V for very cool opening. [SPEAKER_04]: Every time. [SPEAKER_04]: I love it. [SPEAKER_04]: No, these kids. [SPEAKER_04]: I just weren't here. [SPEAKER_04]: These kids suck. [SPEAKER_04]: They're just so un... They're just... I don't believe their kids. [SPEAKER_04]: I barely believe these are human beings.

[SPEAKER_04]: They're so... The acting is so wooden. [SPEAKER_04]: And the writing is so whatever the opposite of fresh kids. [SPEAKER_03]: Stay all I guess. [SPEAKER_03]: I was, I was looking, trying to figure out of like, uh, these Gentile guys, like, wrote it themselves. [SPEAKER_03]: And they gave the writing to someone else. [SPEAKER_03]: But, uh, oh, boy, I got, I need to find the thing. [SPEAKER_03]: It was written by a guy who's only other credits were other Abrams Gentile productions.

[SPEAKER_03]: No, you find it. [SPEAKER_03]: He doesn't even get credited on, like, it doesn't show up and I do. [SPEAKER_04]: So, Jan, you know, that tells me that tell you that they did write it themselves and put a different name on it. [SPEAKER_03]: I feel, well, there was a headshot of the guy. [SPEAKER_03]: So I feel like it was just like either a friend or even worse. [SPEAKER_03]: It was like someone who was just in the office. [SPEAKER_03]: And we're like, we've got the paper signed.

[SPEAKER_03]: We've got the money in hand. [SPEAKER_03]: Now we have to make a thing. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I'm bored. [SPEAKER_03]: My God, Rubik's Cube has character. [SPEAKER_03]: Not bad, but like you're watching it, you're like, I'm fascinated by, I'm fascinated by that. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm fascinated by that. [SPEAKER_01]: I have an analogy with TurboTain. [SPEAKER_01]: Also, and this is why I feel like this is purely millennial.

[SPEAKER_01]: These were Gen X, we're like, [SPEAKER_01]: Here's our show. [SPEAKER_01]: There's one really weird strange thing. [SPEAKER_01]: And then the rest of the twenty minutes is going to be super boring. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes, this teenager can turn into a car. [SPEAKER_01]: And at one point in this episode, we will see that. [SPEAKER_01]: But for the rest, we're going to talk about prom. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: It's nothing's going to happen.

[SPEAKER_04]: No. [SPEAKER_01]: Too much happens. [SPEAKER_01]: Too much. [SPEAKER_01]: There's like really terrible make. [SPEAKER_01]: There's more you. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, number one, we haven't talked about the main Dylan's name is track you. [SPEAKER_01]: We're not right. [SPEAKER_03]: This goddamn thing yet. [SPEAKER_04]: We are barely five minutes in. [SPEAKER_03]: We haven't even got to the part where the dude puts his fucking finger on frame.

[SPEAKER_03]: I don't just do like G. Thank you. [SPEAKER_04]: So to what Eve just said, two notes down from my current where I'm at. [SPEAKER_04]: I haven't seen body horror like this since turbo team. [SPEAKER_04]: Like it's because literally his hand turns into like a goddamn key and he puts it in the car. [SPEAKER_04]: I like their bodies transboggify into these hideous, nineteen, ninety-seven CGI, half car, half robot abominations. [SPEAKER_04]: This is what Leviticus was talking about.

[SPEAKER_04]: This is what he wants stone to death. [SPEAKER_01]: We'll see this though. [SPEAKER_01]: You know, we talk about a lot of like if you had a super power of what if he would be talking. [SPEAKER_01]: He says to love the fee. [SPEAKER_01]: Could you fly? [SPEAKER_01]: Because I live in a tandem parking situation. [SPEAKER_01]: I kind of wouldn't mind just like having like my finger turn into a key. [SPEAKER_01]: Because I go to grab the wrong key.

[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to go about up. [SPEAKER_04]: It'd be useful. [SPEAKER_01]: and be very useful. [SPEAKER_01]: But that's not a point for van-pires. [SPEAKER_01]: Because if you want to look it up on IMDB, you have to do van-pires. [SPEAKER_01]: Because I was like, did you mean van-pires? [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I wish... I did. [SPEAKER_04]: I do not. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, let's, since we brought it up, let's talk about the names.

[SPEAKER_04]: Because I actually didn't register anybody but Dracula. [SPEAKER_04]: And I wrote this here and I just didn't want to believe it was true. [SPEAKER_04]: So the character names, here we go, are fore heroes. [SPEAKER_04]: Their names are snap. [SPEAKER_04]: Reve, Nuke, and Axel. [SPEAKER_04]: Nuke, you know, like a car. [SPEAKER_04]: Nuke, you know. [SPEAKER_04]: And three of the four actors that IMDB have a profile picture, and Axel does not have one.

[SPEAKER_04]: So I'm guessing Axel didn't work much after this. [SPEAKER_01]: Two of them worked on Angel, and their roles were probably dinner. [SPEAKER_03]: My goodness. [SPEAKER_03]: Hey, Melissa Marcala was on the West Wing. [SPEAKER_03]: Eight episodes of six feet under recurring on one of the better HBO shows of all time. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm really true. [SPEAKER_03]: Interesting. [SPEAKER_03]: And as recently as two thousand twenty, like, hey, Melissa Marcala has a career.

[SPEAKER_03]: Gary Yucky, a mootum beer. [SPEAKER_03]: Well, I'm looking at his. [SPEAKER_03]: He, he, he, he does guest spot. [SPEAKER_01]: He works. [SPEAKER_01]: Steady work. [SPEAKER_03]: I think he's worth. [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, that's solid. [SPEAKER_03]: That's what NCI has. [SPEAKER_03]: The blackish. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look.

[SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look.

[SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_03]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look. [SPEAKER_04]: It can be an NCIS look.

[SPEAKER_04]: Look, so, okay, so I know I'm not having a good time with this, because one of the main characters gets his head whacked on something, and I just last night watched Final Destination Two for the first time, and so as soon as the things start moving around, my brain is now wired that he was gonna get him paled through by this boat canoe that's like hanging in the garage. [SPEAKER_04]: And so when he just gets hit and it's like, oh my head! [SPEAKER_04]: And then his head got hit.

[SPEAKER_04]: I was I felt very let down I guess is what I'm trying to say because I'm fresh off of that. [SPEAKER_01]: And also like we bring in the genics like the Hanabar bear is like formulas like your bunch of kids solve crimes. [SPEAKER_01]: There's an animal. [SPEAKER_01]: And you're a band.

[SPEAKER_04]: like the only show which was the the only successful show to come out of that formula was going to be to be like everybody else is like all right this is what you do yourself crimes tour and this is a question that I have is if the vampires who suck gas from innocent cars like get loose and they get what they want they achieve a victory condition how does that change basically anything

[SPEAKER_04]: How does it really, honestly speaking, on a macro level, make the world a word of place? [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, again, that's why I said, do not let Trump watch the show. [SPEAKER_01]: But I mentioned the music because apparently they're a band because the guy, you, has had two drumming lessons that's how he hits his head and it like it plays a big part not having seen the pilot. [SPEAKER_01]: So I don't understand everything that's going on.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, we got to go back for that. [SPEAKER_01]: So there are group of kids who fight van pires and they're aspiring to be a man at the same time. [SPEAKER_04]: Look, I'm just saying I see a spin-off podcast with the three of us when we do all thirteen episodes of van pires. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, I think the world needs it. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, we are in your bunkers and have nothing else better to do. [SPEAKER_01]: And this is the only thing that survives.

[SPEAKER_01]: You have, you have my sword. [SPEAKER_04]: We all, you know, and you're in the club for this, you know, we all expect that when we all get old and see Nile, we're just going to all end up at the same group home, just podcasting all day. [SPEAKER_04]: And we're going to need topics. [SPEAKER_03]: You do know they call them retirement homes when it's on the other side of your life, right?

[SPEAKER_03]: It's group homes when you're in orphan and [SPEAKER_04]: Any of us are going to afford a retirement home, Chan. [SPEAKER_04]: I think you're all going to come over to my house and just live here. [SPEAKER_03]: Like your home is not going to get eminent domain by the dictator for life. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, we're going to try not to. [SPEAKER_04]: Once we tell them we're recording a vanpires full podcast, I do believe we're going to be off the hook with the federal government.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is our little money we have, fanpires. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's our bargaining chip. [SPEAKER_01]: We're feeling we didn't know what he asked for. [SPEAKER_04]: We have seven families living in this one house. [SPEAKER_04]: Come on. [SPEAKER_04]: You got to just let us stay and we podcast all day. [SPEAKER_01]: of his episodes.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so there's a creepy British man wearing a very obvious like fake facial and head hair real weird and he's maybe the most likable character on the entire show and he's creepy as hell. [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't know what that says about me. [SPEAKER_03]: Can somebody has have you, uh, Eve track down? [SPEAKER_03]: who this guy is because he is listed as, oh, oh, you got hands saying suggesting that that might be the case.

[SPEAKER_03]: Because when it shows up as himself in the credits, I'm like, the fuck is going on here. [SPEAKER_04]: It's a real vampire. [SPEAKER_01]: It's stop, and I had a search. [SPEAKER_01]: And luckily in the comments of the YouTube video, we saw Mark Schwartz from Van Pires. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, okay. [SPEAKER_01]: Wait, not that somebody was correct in their assumption. [SPEAKER_01]: The actor didn't want their name on the show because it's too embarrassed.

[SPEAKER_01]: which is a shame. [SPEAKER_01]: That's why we like him. [SPEAKER_01]: He knows that this is it. [SPEAKER_04]: He knew what show he was on and he was the only good actor. [SPEAKER_04]: I apologize. [SPEAKER_04]: These guys all work and they're better at this than I am for sure. [SPEAKER_04]: But like he was the best thing about this show. [SPEAKER_03]: I did not hate the voice acting. [SPEAKER_03]: I was surprised. [SPEAKER_03]: I was expecting it to be completely different.

[SPEAKER_03]: And the script aside, the script is abominable. [SPEAKER_03]: But like the performances are perfectly acceptable for where we're going. [SPEAKER_01]: They got the stable from the age entertainment group of subscribers and dragonflyers because boys can't like skydensers but they like shooting things up in the air [SPEAKER_04]: Like that. [SPEAKER_04]: So tuna, a plot note, a two plot notes here.

[SPEAKER_04]: The first stuff that the plot moves forward because the old British guy who does not wish to be named gives them concert tickets to a band they haven't mentioned up to this point. [SPEAKER_04]: But apparently is the biggest thing in the world and they love them called star with two hours. [SPEAKER_04]: No, no, I don't know if it's Joe Star related or not. [SPEAKER_04]: But the point I'm trying to make here is that they have tickets. [SPEAKER_04]: He gives them these tickets.

[SPEAKER_04]: He says you're going to a show to find out these tickets are tonight.

[SPEAKER_04]: twenty minutes show starts twenty minutes from now and it's across town why did he drag his feet on any of this but the second point is after they leave we find out that they have a pet cgi tricycle we never see again we never see again who's very upset that they're leaving it is some sort of recurring character so I'm sure it comes back this tricycle is a cousin to snarf [SPEAKER_01]: and of course the grand poo bus scrappy do. [SPEAKER_01]: And I do more.

[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, God, we are doing the thirteenth. [SPEAKER_01]: We're doing thirteenth. [SPEAKER_01]: We're committed. [SPEAKER_01]: We're doing all thirteenth. [SPEAKER_01]: We're doing all thirteenth. [SPEAKER_01]: We're doing all thirteenth. [SPEAKER_01]: We're doing all thirteenth. [SPEAKER_03]: Is it related to this? [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to say toaster slash ceiling fan slash of one of those tools that you sit on when you're in a shoe store.

[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and it's with the weird like anything. [SPEAKER_01]: It just looks like the apocalyptic future of the brave little toaster. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, fallouts version. [SPEAKER_04]: Now, and then also, like we have mentioned, like to, I'm thinking to myself, at least we aren't doing toilet humor.

[SPEAKER_04]: Immediately afterwards, the two CGI characters we meet are a talking, walking toilet, and this toaster monstrosity where the toaster is sideways and two pieces of moldy bread are sticking out of the holes to form its lips. [SPEAKER_04]: And it is upsetting. [SPEAKER_01]: It's French because French toast. [SPEAKER_03]: get it. [SPEAKER_03]: Is that?

[SPEAKER_03]: Wow. [SPEAKER_04]: No, I like that as we've been recording this channel slowly moving more and more off camera, like he is van Helsing. [SPEAKER_04]: He'll sing. [SPEAKER_04]: He'll sing, excuse me. [SPEAKER_04]: He also does not want to be on this episode, and he's trying to remove himself. [SPEAKER_01]: Somebody suggested that his guys like, they're like, it's either Johnny and whistle in disguise. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, I don't think he would do that.

[SPEAKER_01]: Or Gary Oldman in disguise. [SPEAKER_01]: And so they call him Gary Oldman. [SPEAKER_04]: Interesting. [SPEAKER_04]: Kind of like that. [SPEAKER_04]: There's a big concern because it's found out by this toilet and toaster monster that the good guys are going to a concert tonight so are not up for fighting crime. [SPEAKER_04]: And so the bad guys have this perfect opportunity with this knowledge to take advantage and do their bad guy stuff.

[SPEAKER_04]: Now the bad guy stuff they choose to do is literally adjacent to where the heroes are. [SPEAKER_04]: And I think that defeats the purpose of the advantage that they have. [SPEAKER_03]: No, he's saying that they're going to be like not paying attention. [SPEAKER_03]: And so they're going to get the jump on them, which they do. [SPEAKER_03]: I guess they could nap them. [SPEAKER_03]: That they could nap them.

[SPEAKER_04]: Okay, but they could be sucking gasoline against the will of the cars that they're sucking. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, they can start down and get away with it. [SPEAKER_03]: I feel like that's a normal day job. [SPEAKER_03]: But like this is actually after hours entertainment. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm a theory that's kind of adjacent to a race dream of all of us being in a [SPEAKER_01]: Roops in your home together. [SPEAKER_01]: Why not just make making one?

[SPEAKER_04]: It's the same home dream. [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like a lot of villains because they have a really weak reason to do battle with people. [SPEAKER_01]: I think they're just lonely. [SPEAKER_01]: And it's kind of like when you visit a senior old age home and like, I don't like this shirt you're wearing. [SPEAKER_01]: Come back tomorrow. [SPEAKER_01]: Similar vibes. [SPEAKER_04]: This checks out. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I'm happy leaving them not with my company.

[SPEAKER_01]: They're so miserable. [SPEAKER_01]: So quick. [SPEAKER_01]: Yes. [SPEAKER_01]: So these kids who are so stupid, they're like, pulling this. [SPEAKER_01]: How are we gonna get across? [SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, we can tear it apart. [SPEAKER_01]: You can turn it in the flight fucking crowd. [SPEAKER_01]: You just forgot. [SPEAKER_04]: You can turn it into a car. [SPEAKER_04]: What's incredible about this is we find out later, not only can they turn into cars, but they can fly.

[SPEAKER_04]: So why do they not just fly there in the first place? [SPEAKER_04]: I think the fact that they had they forget what their powers are from seen by scene is incredible. [SPEAKER_01]: But they do mention drugs in this episode. [SPEAKER_04]: They definitely do. [SPEAKER_04]: Okay, so how do we feel about this band's star? [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, they're clearly a knockoff of kiss. [SPEAKER_04]: Except they're a real band. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, they are. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that guy.

[SPEAKER_01]: The lead guy was Billy Eidel's guitarist. [SPEAKER_01]: They tried to make it happen for a while, even though Star. [SPEAKER_01]: The name of a girl who grew up in the Midwest who never needs to do porn. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, or I have the name. [SPEAKER_01]: I don't need to go through the rest. [SPEAKER_04]: This isn't Ringo Star and his all star band all with two hours. [SPEAKER_01]: Because I thought the same thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: Like, obviously, this is a kiss rip off and they did such a good job. [SPEAKER_01]: Gene Simmons didn't sue. [SPEAKER_03]: Oh boy, you guys, in two thousand John, the John and Twistle band. [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, he was trying to have a solo career, released music from vanpires as an official album and soundtrack to the series. [SPEAKER_03]: It was John and Twistle's last solo album before his death two years later. [SPEAKER_01]: That's the nightmare.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is gonna be the last thing I do before I die. [SPEAKER_01]: It's last on a vampire's podcast. [SPEAKER_03]: You're going to you're getting Raul Julia here. [SPEAKER_03]: Even I'm very sorry for it. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm trying to find I'm trying to find the vampire album on vinyl because I will buy it. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to tell you I have this thing about if you could time travel, what, right?

[SPEAKER_01]: We show would you watch and what snack would you bring with you throughout time and number one for me is always Raul Julia in Dracula with a pudding pot. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_03]: Okay. [SPEAKER_03]: That's all it. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: What do you guys think? [SPEAKER_04]: Would you guys like to know what John and whistles last words were according to Google? [SPEAKER_03]: What the hell?

[SPEAKER_04]: John and whistle English musician in basis for the who stated to groupy Allison Rows before going to sleep in bed with her. [SPEAKER_04]: My fellow citizens do cigarettes taste good. [SPEAKER_04]: They are poisonous. [SPEAKER_04]: So we all learned something today. [SPEAKER_04]: I learned the Johnette whistle is a person. [SPEAKER_01]: That's what I say when I have a young girl in my bed. [SPEAKER_03]: In the blame you. [SPEAKER_03]: Let me go with the class.

[SPEAKER_04]: John and whistle band music from vampires available on oh two point seven out of five available on vinyl on Amazon for seventy five dollars. [SPEAKER_04]: That's too much. [SPEAKER_04]: But here according to discount. [SPEAKER_03]: Then it will be twenty five dollars, which is still. [SPEAKER_04]: Or, or will I get by it on CD for forty five. [SPEAKER_01]: Fifteen each. [SPEAKER_03]: I have things that I need to do with my money.

[SPEAKER_03]: Y'all, I'm just stuffing it into a whole next to a USB that's been submitted into a wall somewhere. [SPEAKER_01]: Listener, call in. [SPEAKER_01]: Should we buy this CD? [SPEAKER_04]: I bet you it's on YouTube. [SPEAKER_04]: That's all I'm going to say about that. [SPEAKER_04]: I bet you somebody's ripped it to YouTube by now. [SPEAKER_04]: So we don't have to buy it. [SPEAKER_04]: But if there was a vinyl available of it, that wasn't seventy five to any of it.

[SPEAKER_04]: So maybe I'll buy it anyway. [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I might get rich someday real quick. [SPEAKER_03]: Here's here's a little taste of what you'll probably get on that vinyl. [SPEAKER_03]: Wonderful. [SPEAKER_01]: It just seems like a tour here. [SPEAKER_01]: My God, it does. [SPEAKER_01]: Cut to see these audience, which is full, but they're not exactly like, this is the greatest show in my life. [SPEAKER_04]: They're grooving.

[SPEAKER_04]: I love the fact, unlike Canon films, they actually could hire extras, but they could only hire like seven of them. [SPEAKER_04]: So they had to just keep moving the camera around to catch the same seven people. [SPEAKER_04]: Because, okay, cut to the concert. [SPEAKER_04]: And our heroes are there rocking out in like the front row. [SPEAKER_04]: Turns out they also have backstage passes.

[SPEAKER_03]: All right, so you didn't hear the part where he said, we're then he'll sing tells us that they have backstage passes. [SPEAKER_03]: He did. [SPEAKER_01]: Get there, though. [SPEAKER_01]: He doesn't turn into a car. [SPEAKER_03]: Do you know what? [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe we also see him like because they duck out of the show and I'm like, okay, the show's over because like all five of the extras leave with them. [SPEAKER_04]: And then they're just in an empty hallway.

[SPEAKER_04]: We went through our extras and we're done now. [SPEAKER_04]: I wanted those extras to put on different clothes and like a couture ma and then just keep coming through like as a bit. [SPEAKER_04]: That would have been really fun, but that's not the way that they this. [SPEAKER_01]: This is smart writing like glad we left you in the encore.

[SPEAKER_04]: Right, because it shows not over yet that blew me away, but they they say, oh, we have backstage passes no call me crazy, but backstage passes me, you get to go backstage, not get on their bus. [SPEAKER_03]: and just hang out. [SPEAKER_03]: Hang out. [SPEAKER_04]: Rubber that'll be happy to see us because we're big fans. [SPEAKER_04]: That is not how rock stars work, lady.

[SPEAKER_01]: Also, I'm not, I think this is the point where like, okay, then he'll sing as a little creepy, very creepy. [SPEAKER_01]: There's no way he's not selling videos of these kids going to the bathroom. [SPEAKER_01]: There's no way. [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, he's got to finance the rebellion against the vampire empire. [SPEAKER_01]: Here's a watchers cancel. [SPEAKER_01]: you missed out big time. [SPEAKER_03]: It's over.

[SPEAKER_03]: So, and then they find out that the band, now, now I'm just imagining the heelsing and jiles at like, watchers, school or whatever. [SPEAKER_01]: We find a big, I got to do it now because, yes. [SPEAKER_01]: You want to British, that's justification enough. [SPEAKER_03]: And you look, two of these, two of these people ended up on angel episodes so you can drag Wesley into it. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I wrote a Parks and Rack Angel X-Men crossover. [SPEAKER_01]: I can do this.

[SPEAKER_01]: Sounds delightful. [SPEAKER_01]: I was born to do this. [SPEAKER_05]: C-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- [SPEAKER_04]: Now, back to GI Joe.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, we find out that the band isn't coming to the bus after the show, because they went off to get ice cream, because there was an ice cream truck parked like across the street from the venue. [SPEAKER_03]: A rock star is traditionally big, big fans of ice cream. [SPEAKER_04]: Know that this red is, um, no. [SPEAKER_04]: No. [SPEAKER_04]: And so they find out, wait, an ice cream truck? [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, it's a villain. [SPEAKER_04]: It's a vanpire.

[SPEAKER_04]: Here's your ice cream parlour near here. [SPEAKER_04]: My goodness. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's a vehicle. [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, every vehicle is a bad guy. [SPEAKER_04]: And so they freak out. [SPEAKER_04]: And I thought it first like, oh, okay. [SPEAKER_04]: So the band is gonna get abducted. [SPEAKER_04]: Our heroes are gonna have to go save the band. [SPEAKER_04]: But that's not what happens.

[SPEAKER_03]: Hold on let's back up because before they get on the bus the hippie fella is doing a thing and and this was the point where I was like okay [SPEAKER_03]: Clearly, these are adults who are writing this thing for children. [SPEAKER_03]: And there is a difference between someone who's writing a show for kids, but in a way that adults can also enjoy.

[SPEAKER_03]: And someone who is writing a show for kids who despises children does not value them in any way shape or form thinks they're worthless idiots who will write that way as if [SPEAKER_03]: the children who are watching this are dumb. [SPEAKER_03]: And then throw in jokes that are intended to go over the heads of children. [SPEAKER_03]: And like, oh, we're going to grab the parents with this clever reference to adult things.

[SPEAKER_03]: And it's very obvious when it's one or the other. [SPEAKER_03]: And in this case, it's this line here. [SPEAKER_04]: In the words of King KZ, are you on the bus? [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, are you on the bus? [SPEAKER_03]: So, like, yeah, obviously Ken Keesie is not gonna be our reference picked up even in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, I don't understand that reference now.

[SPEAKER_03]: He's one of the, uh, uh, one of the, uh, electrical aid acid tests people who, like, wrote around in the sixties, uh, doing psychedelics and raging against the machine. [SPEAKER_04]: So what was the line about drugs? [SPEAKER_04]: Because they mentioned he's like, well, I don't do drugs. [SPEAKER_01]: But there was a reference to drugs. [SPEAKER_01]: But I don't do dope anymore. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.

[SPEAKER_04]: I was waiting for like the little the aside and it never came. [SPEAKER_01]: Now, I think this comes from the third producer. [SPEAKER_01]: No, we mentioned what I'm going to Jason. [SPEAKER_04]: The Gentile brothers. [SPEAKER_01]: Gentile brothers. [SPEAKER_01]: Much like the Russo brothers who direct very talented. [SPEAKER_01]: Directed community and the Avengers movies. [SPEAKER_01]: Same people. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm a big fan of theirs.

[SPEAKER_01]: And I forgot his full name, but like I sent these guys a picture of scrambled feet, which, please, look up. [SPEAKER_04]: You sent the Russo brothers that picture? [SPEAKER_03]: Marty Abrams is the guy. [SPEAKER_01]: No, not Marty Abrams. [SPEAKER_01]: His name is like Striconis or something. [SPEAKER_01]: He's one of the haters. [SPEAKER_01]: Not not of the age. [SPEAKER_04]: It was my grandfather. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, some of the nights. [SPEAKER_01]: It's very similar.

[SPEAKER_01]: But he wrote a book called Jimmy and me, but his times talking would Jimmy Hendrix. [SPEAKER_01]: about that. [SPEAKER_01]: He produced an almond brother's documentary and a loose festival and that happened. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, there's just kind of interesting. [SPEAKER_04]: There's like actual talent, musicaly or adjacent music here. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: And yet we ended up with vampires. [SPEAKER_01]: So I know.

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_01]: I've even had a very popular spin of singing. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, so this is the part, this is the part that blue. [SPEAKER_04]: Okay. [SPEAKER_04]: So here we go. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to go for a second here because [SPEAKER_04]: ice cream truck, we find a ice cream truck so they get freaked out. [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, the band is going to get kidnapped.

[SPEAKER_04]: But instead, what happens is the band shows up with ice cream cones talking about how good the ice cream is. [SPEAKER_04]: The weird creepy English guy tastes like motor oil. [SPEAKER_04]: Excuse me, you're right. [SPEAKER_04]: Talk about how it tastes like motor oil and they throw it away. [SPEAKER_04]: My bad. [SPEAKER_04]: I wrote it right. [SPEAKER_01]: Really, I said, this is like shit. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, yeah.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: And so then the creepy English guy steps off the bus to see them and then the tour bus turns into a vampire and flies off with our heroes inside. [SPEAKER_04]: But then what blew me away is that later on we also find out that yes, there is an ice cream truck vampire as well, not seen until later on when they barely reference his existence. [SPEAKER_04]: But he's there. [SPEAKER_04]: He's a creepy clown ice cream truck vampire.

[SPEAKER_04]: This is what I was doing. [SPEAKER_04]: What is this? [SPEAKER_01]: I have questions and I don't want questions. [SPEAKER_04]: There's a whole bit, well, they do a whole thing like in my brain, I'm like, okay, you're trapped inside this devastator of of vampire. [SPEAKER_04]: Just transform into your robot shapes and just smash your way out from the inside out. [SPEAKER_04]: Like this is easy. [SPEAKER_03]: They say specifically that they cannot do that. [SPEAKER_03]: Why?

[SPEAKER_03]: Because they're inside. [SPEAKER_03]: So they would like get squished across because they can't [SPEAKER_04]: expand or they will blow the no because they what they get the door open they throw the girl out and she and I'm just like she's just gonna fall from the heights and crashes the car no she turns out here they can fly yes yeah they transform outside they can't do that inside because the bus would be destroyed [SPEAKER_01]: Okay, it's enemy.

[SPEAKER_03]: They would be crushed inside it. [SPEAKER_04]: How would they be? [SPEAKER_04]: I don't see this. [SPEAKER_04]: It has a door. [SPEAKER_04]: So clearly you can get inside it. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm trying to blow up a balloon and then you squeeze it. [SPEAKER_03]: What happens to the balloon when you squeeze it enough? [SPEAKER_04]: If you put me inside a balloon, and I could smash my way out of it, I would be fine.

[SPEAKER_04]: Do you think the organ like this in the writer's room about this scene? [SPEAKER_04]: No, this, I don't think a secret happened in the writer's room at all. [SPEAKER_03]: There can't have been one full time writer on this thing. [SPEAKER_03]: He must have had to split his time between like twelve other projects. [SPEAKER_03]: because so little effort is devoted to this thing.

[SPEAKER_04]: And before we came on the air, I had a conversation with these two about wrestling matches, I've been watching about people wrestling inanimate objects. [SPEAKER_04]: Sure enough, we had a two V one fight against a V neck guitar that is kicking the shit out of them. [SPEAKER_01]: It took me a while to say, Drew, I like my eyes went somewhere else for a little while and I looked back and like, are they just fighting with a guitar for no reason?

[SPEAKER_01]: And then I saw it was alive. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, okay, that's just, [SPEAKER_01]: Really bad. [SPEAKER_04]: Why was it alive? [SPEAKER_04]: It's not a van pire, but it's in a van pire. [SPEAKER_04]: So it's like an internal organ or a defense system. [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, confused, but I think of the show the way they were handling. [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, is that the van pires dick? [SPEAKER_03]: What is happening?

[SPEAKER_03]: Why are they trying to jerk this thing off? [SPEAKER_04]: Oh my god. [SPEAKER_04]: You can't jerk off a van pire from the inside though. [SPEAKER_04]: Everybody knows that because you'll be crushed. [SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you're just going to be like, Dracula's detachable dick face, and I don't know. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, like that King Missle song. [SPEAKER_03]: Sorry. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm looking at that moment right now, and I remain a gag.

[SPEAKER_04]: So, okay, so our heroes fight their way through the guitar and our three heroes are now in the, I need help with this because there inside the bus, the tour bus vampire, which has taken control of its flying through the air. [SPEAKER_01]: But the three of them are all these punts by the way, they're going back and forth. [SPEAKER_04]: No, I've got a sound note chance.

[SPEAKER_04]: If you could prep eleven fifteen and beyond, because our three heroes on the inside have gotten their way to the steering wheel, and despite the fact this is a sentient vampire, they still allegedly can also control it with the steering wheel, although we see no evidence of, because they'll turn the steering wheel all the way, we cut to outside, and the thing is just flying normal.

[SPEAKER_04]: So maybe this is like when you hand and your kid like the second controller and say, yeah, man, you're playing, but it's not even plugged into anything. [SPEAKER_04]: Maybe it's one of those situations. [SPEAKER_04]: But like, I'm very confused what they think they're doing here. [SPEAKER_04]: Because what I love is, is it's just flying nebulously through the air. [SPEAKER_04]: And there are some great continuity here, because they'll fly like into a green pipe.

[SPEAKER_04]: And so they'll cut back to the kids. [SPEAKER_04]: And there'll be green lights in the blackness in the outside. [SPEAKER_04]: But like if you can find me, the dialogue these kids are having is some of the most realistic, gritty, like I really do feel like mammoth might have been brought in to make this the most realistic dialogue ever seen in a cartoon. [SPEAKER_04]: If you could you could play this for sure. [SPEAKER_01]: That guitar could very much be a detachable divvents, man.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's my isner. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: My isner. [SPEAKER_01]: Work effort is showing. [SPEAKER_04]: Eve, could you look, did it win a Pulitzer? [SPEAKER_04]: Did this show win one of Peabody? [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, it's it's there's just too many awards. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm sure to say. [SPEAKER_04]: It's just excellent. [SPEAKER_04]: Excellent writing. [SPEAKER_04]: Excellent acting. [SPEAKER_04]: A very believable.

[SPEAKER_04]: I believe these people were where they say they were. [SPEAKER_01]: My, my, my, the line that got to me was. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not Sandra Bullick. [SPEAKER_01]: And I felt that. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Because he's trying to buzz. [SPEAKER_01]: And he has to inform the other people. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm not Sandra Bullick. [SPEAKER_04]: I needed to know because in the moment I was confused. [SPEAKER_04]: So I appreciated it.

[SPEAKER_04]: And they have, they have, what I guess would, would we reference as a fight scene?

[SPEAKER_04]: and we mostly quote unquote fight scenes the rest of the show because you have the lady hero who's transformed and now she's battling in true CGI from nineteen ninety seven fashion the the the the tour bus as a flying robot they're fighting and then we also have like a bunch of different I don't know it's it's hard to follow at this point because like we don't have the human actors anymore everything isn't [SPEAKER_01]: this nineteen ninety seven c.g.a.

[SPEAKER_01]: nightmare and i'm just like just go to sit back and see what happens also this is a run begins as you can see my ergonomic pillow i've also got one on my tush the way these things are designed like you know what a transformer looks like the heads on top of the shoulders big the broad exposure these heads are like coming out of here and then they have this huge thing up here and like [SPEAKER_01]: Where's the ergonomics?

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, the headroom coming out of the, the coming out of the solar plexus. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: They're like their arms are where their neck should be. [SPEAKER_04]: It's weird. [SPEAKER_04]: It's just, and so they end up getting abducted and taken through a pipe to God knows where. [SPEAKER_04]: And that was the plan. [SPEAKER_04]: We still have dirty, did not feel dirty at all. [SPEAKER_04]: Not enough. [SPEAKER_04]: And so our three male heroes have now transformed.

[SPEAKER_04]: They're outside of the van so they can, I guess. [SPEAKER_04]: And the bad guys are all there and they're like, hey, we thought we'd get all four of them. [SPEAKER_04]: Today, like, he was fighting the fourth one into the pipe as they were coming through. [SPEAKER_04]: Like, how did they miss that? [SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, they get all mad. [SPEAKER_04]: And then like, she just shows up immediately behind them. [SPEAKER_04]: And she's like, aha, I gotcha.

[SPEAKER_04]: And the bad guys turned and say, oh, you cheated. [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like, what is what is happening in my life right now that brought me here? [SPEAKER_04]: Because the bad guys are mad because they want the fourth one of the fourth one shows up, but in a slightly different place than they were expecting, but still very much where they wanted her and they're furious about it. [SPEAKER_04]: And then we have another fight scene that you could nominally call it a fight scene.

[SPEAKER_01]: This is I made a breakthrough revelation at this point. [SPEAKER_01]: Um, I don't like Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals usually as a role. [SPEAKER_01]: I enjoy Jesus Christ superstar and there's one. [SPEAKER_01]: There's no fucking list to watch. [SPEAKER_01]: And that is Starlight Express. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like am I watching the kids' version of Starlight Mother fucking Express? [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe it's maybe that was the intent.

[SPEAKER_03]: Maybe we where the idiots for missing the cultural touchstones. [SPEAKER_01]: They have some roots in Broadway apparently. [SPEAKER_03]: And eventually, according to their about me page, I have yet to see proof that that is in fact, and they didn't just deliver cannabis. [SPEAKER_01]: They saw it. [SPEAKER_03]: Well, the third, third story. [SPEAKER_01]: And they have so many show them where they're see it was. [SPEAKER_01]: They didn't have to edit.

[SPEAKER_01]: But like, Starlight Express per my remembering the babysitter club's books accurately was before the night. [SPEAKER_01]: And you said, maybe they saw it. [SPEAKER_01]: It had a very lasting approach. [SPEAKER_01]: Like, what if we did this? [SPEAKER_01]: But like, it was like, cars and shit. [SPEAKER_03]: Like, okay, man.

[SPEAKER_04]: Because my favorite line of dialogue happens that might explain all of this and I don't have a time stamp unfortunately, but my favorite line was one of the performers says, time to get high. [SPEAKER_04]: Like he's Oprah giving away cars. [SPEAKER_04]: It was delightful. [SPEAKER_01]: He's giving himself. [SPEAKER_04]: And it really like, based on your anti-drug message earlier, I think the truth is slipping through the cracks just a little bit here, just a little bit.

[SPEAKER_04]: And so they blast a speaker's worth of music at the bad guys, which defeats them. [SPEAKER_04]: Caves in the entire cave that they're in. [SPEAKER_04]: I just wrote here, I cave in, I guess. [SPEAKER_04]: That's, I don't really understand, but we then cut to despite the fact that they've been like running and chasing and fighting, and there's things happening in like three different areas at the same time.

[SPEAKER_04]: We basically just jump cut to them all standing in front of each other, like it's West Side Story, and they challenge each other to a music battle. [SPEAKER_04]: How did we get here? [SPEAKER_04]: I thought I missed something. [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like I missed everything and also I haven't known here really. [SPEAKER_01]: This is like, that was my base instinct and like, base instinct. [SPEAKER_01]: That's the long-lost ace of base album that we'll never find.

[SPEAKER_01]: I know we pay seventy five dollars for. [SPEAKER_03]: That seems like a lot. [SPEAKER_03]: That seems like even twenty dollars feels like a lot. [SPEAKER_01]: For ace of base. [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, I saw the sign. [SPEAKER_03]: It opened on my heart, but that's not opening my wallet. [SPEAKER_04]: literally the entire show just stops on a dime. [SPEAKER_04]: As we now have just decided this is what we're doing instead. [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm like I guess.

[SPEAKER_01]: No, remember Ellie. [SPEAKER_01]: Luke apparently has had two lessons. [SPEAKER_01]: So he has sticks and the other guy for some reason has a guitar is a belly. [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, that would make him a base vile, like a stand up base. [SPEAKER_03]: He could have done that. [SPEAKER_03]: John and whistle was the base player for the who you can. [SPEAKER_04]: John, wait. [SPEAKER_04]: Do you think John and whistle played like a stand up base and not the base guitar?

[SPEAKER_03]: John and whistle, I guarantee you could play the stand-up base should he so choose? [SPEAKER_03]: You know what, I'll take that. [SPEAKER_03]: That's probably true. [SPEAKER_04]: So do you think this is a love letter Keith Moon then? [SPEAKER_04]: Well, they mentioned Keith Moon in one of their puns earlier, too. [SPEAKER_04]: Like howling Keith Moon. [SPEAKER_04]: It's like, all right. [SPEAKER_01]: Couldn't keep up.

[SPEAKER_01]: I look, I love a good pun, and actually I have a favorite pun that's coming up to that I had to have listed. [SPEAKER_01]: But I just, I just, I just thought of this. [SPEAKER_01]: Maybe, maybe this is like, we've got to honor Keith. [SPEAKER_01]: And this is for Keith. [SPEAKER_01]: Keith could do so much or two little sticks. [SPEAKER_01]: He could take on a big ass badass robot with a base guitar as his belly.

[SPEAKER_04]: just those two sticks just those two stick well here's the deal because they challenge Count Dracula to a music battle and he says yes and they have their champions this is like game of thrones the the the mountain versus the red viper of vampires and I wrote in my notes why would anyone be going through with this right now and then a character in the show turns to the other and goes why are we doing this and I felt vindicated in that moment

[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, also this is some of the best voice acting of the show goes like, and like, count track it with that guy. [SPEAKER_01]: It is good. [SPEAKER_01]: So good. [SPEAKER_04]: Chand, do we have a count track you'll align that we could just throw in there? [SPEAKER_04]: Because I would like to dive here, nothing but a Vita. [SPEAKER_04]: The rules are simple. [SPEAKER_04]: Nuke plays against them. [SPEAKER_04]: He's good. [SPEAKER_04]: That is good voice acting.

[SPEAKER_04]: I love voice actors though, so maybe I'm biased. [SPEAKER_04]: Big fan, so, do you think I have any intention of keeping to my barrio? [SPEAKER_03]: Like, yeah, that's what I'm saying, like. [SPEAKER_01]: Daver. [SPEAKER_03]: Cardabre, yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: That's real Tim Perri vibes. [SPEAKER_01]: Right, yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: We can't get Tim because something impossible happened because we could always get Tim. [SPEAKER_01]: Get this guy, he's good.

[SPEAKER_03]: I mean, the fact that they couldn't get Tim to play Van Hiel's thing, that does not speak well for anything. [SPEAKER_01]: He could have had a double roll. [SPEAKER_01]: He could have been then he'll sing and track it out. [SPEAKER_01]: And it would have been like a psychological thing. [SPEAKER_01]: I kept it. [SPEAKER_04]: You're telling me you can't afford Tim Curry in ninety seven.

[SPEAKER_04]: As a child could have afforded Tim Curry to come to my birthday party if I really wanted it. [SPEAKER_01]: This is true. [SPEAKER_01]: I have a song called Tim Curry's and everything to the tune of Fleewood Max everywhere. [SPEAKER_01]: And the fair again. [SPEAKER_01]: And like I listen names of like things he's been in at the end. [SPEAKER_01]: It's just narrator. [SPEAKER_01]: They're ready. [SPEAKER_01]: He's in everything. [SPEAKER_01]: He is in everything.

[SPEAKER_04]: All right, so I need some opinion here because our hero is a drummer and the bosses of guitarist and in my opinion, based on the riffs that were being played, that boss was kicking the shit out of that drummer was destroying him in this music battle. [SPEAKER_03]: Also, one of the things that just really irks me is [SPEAKER_03]: when a show portrays musical skill as just some inborn talent. [SPEAKER_03]: This guy has had two drum lessons.

[SPEAKER_03]: I know you're actually trying to play drums. [SPEAKER_03]: It's hard. [SPEAKER_03]: It's hard. [SPEAKER_03]: It's hard. [SPEAKER_03]: And when it's a trope, obviously, you know, like there's really nobody to blame, but whenever it happens, it just makes me furious because this is, this is what two lessons of drums gets you. [SPEAKER_01]: Now, if Karen Carpenter had been there, there's a forced guest. [SPEAKER_03]: No, but play the next part.

[SPEAKER_03]: You want to, you want to, as well. [SPEAKER_03]: You're okay. [SPEAKER_04]: He's basically deaf clock. [SPEAKER_04]: He is, he's Brendan Small and Metal Aquilips. [SPEAKER_04]: He is shredding so hard. [SPEAKER_04]: And that drum beat is below average. [SPEAKER_03]: He is overdubbing himself. [SPEAKER_03]: That is, he's playing his own rhythm guitar as well. [SPEAKER_03]: So it must be one of those Steve-Vide double-net guitar.

[SPEAKER_03]: That's the one that guitar kind of situations. [SPEAKER_01]: So we can't see. [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, where is that other neck? [SPEAKER_04]: If that was lunch, that's his dick. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, the internal dick. [SPEAKER_01]: The detachable penis return. [SPEAKER_04]: It's right. [SPEAKER_04]: Fantastic song. [SPEAKER_04]: Everyone should go check that one out if you're not familiar.

[SPEAKER_04]: Okay. [SPEAKER_04]: So then the heroes, the heroes who are getting raffle stomped here, like throw a drum at the bus to mess him up. [SPEAKER_04]: And then they go, ha ha, we won. [SPEAKER_01]: Is this where the pun? [SPEAKER_01]: We're just keeping it wheel happens. [SPEAKER_03]: Well, that's, that's, no, that's at the end. [SPEAKER_04]: Looks, here's me. [SPEAKER_04]: No, I did make a note of that one pun specifically at the fair. [SPEAKER_04]: That's our last thing.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so proud to be all have this moment to have together. [SPEAKER_04]: Our heroes literally cheated. [SPEAKER_04]: They just threw something at the guy who was performing and crushing it. [SPEAKER_04]: And then just all high five and goes victory. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm like, that is not how it works. [SPEAKER_01]: No, that's millennials for you. [SPEAKER_01]: Gen X will never stay in for that. [SPEAKER_01]: Win to be fair and kindness and teamwork. [SPEAKER_03]: Here's the thing.

[SPEAKER_03]: I would have respected it more if he had done a bad job with drums.

[SPEAKER_03]: If he's not good at it and he's like, the other guy's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

[SPEAKER_03]: are stalling time and then that makes sense. [SPEAKER_03]: These characters like they're actually pretty smart. [SPEAKER_03]: They had a plan. [SPEAKER_03]: This was their plan, you know, because that's what they said, you know, they tell us. [SPEAKER_03]: But like then they were just lazy, which was like, well, just play like a drum. [SPEAKER_03]: So it's it's a creative choice that could have been good. [SPEAKER_03]: They decided not to make a good choice.

[SPEAKER_04]: The thing is, they declare victory, high five each other, and then the bad guys are like, well, can't argue with that. [SPEAKER_04]: Like, it's over. [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I just wrote here, I guess we're done. [SPEAKER_04]: There's nothing more that happens. [SPEAKER_04]: They heroes return to the concert hall and return to the bus. [SPEAKER_04]: How, how do they return to the bus that is actually an evil vampire? [SPEAKER_04]: How, how does the bus return?

[SPEAKER_04]: How does it a bus again? [SPEAKER_04]: Why are they saying I have gaps? [SPEAKER_04]: I need get the Gentile brothers on the phone right now. [SPEAKER_01]: I guess because they hold the bus back and they're secondary form.

[SPEAKER_01]: Right, but like the question is, isn't it actually a sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub-sub

[SPEAKER_03]: Or is it I'm reading a lot of dogman with my kid now and they're like this living spray that you spray and makes an inanimate object an inanimate object maybe that's how the vampires do it or maybe it is just some form of alien possession where they're able to possess vehicles and then leave I'm just not important to production apparently not [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I just, I don't know what happened here. [SPEAKER_04]: Like, the bad guys literally, I got it on my screen now.

[SPEAKER_04]: The bad guys just walk away after the heroes declare victory. [SPEAKER_03]: They walk and I did note that specifically that like, the sun comes up and it said, I'm like, oh, we got a run for the light and we're gonna die or whatever they're like, well, you've won this round. [SPEAKER_03]: Let's walk away slowly. [SPEAKER_04]: And then we're just, did they just fly away? [SPEAKER_04]: I don't know. [SPEAKER_04]: So we're at the, we're back in the bus.

[SPEAKER_04]: We finally get our chance to meet Star, this world famous band. [SPEAKER_04]: And they're like complete assholes to everybody. [SPEAKER_04]: And I mean, honestly, like, they've been through a lot. [SPEAKER_03]: Their bus disappeared. [SPEAKER_03]: What were they doing that, what, you know, just like waiting around for something. [SPEAKER_03]: They don't know what. [SPEAKER_01]: They just poopy. [SPEAKER_01]: They did. [SPEAKER_01]: Come for it in nearby.

[SPEAKER_04]: But it's morning now too. [SPEAKER_04]: They've waited through the night. [SPEAKER_04]: It is the next morning. [SPEAKER_04]: They have not slept. [SPEAKER_04]: They just want to get back to their hotel and now they're being accosted by these kids who are like, can you sign an autograph? [SPEAKER_04]: And they say, maybe you could just have an autograph picture of us. [SPEAKER_04]: And the kids are like, fuck these guys. [SPEAKER_03]: Like, yeah, it didn't track.

[SPEAKER_03]: After they fucking like ransacked, this is before the fucking bus turned into a monster. [SPEAKER_03]: They are in there just like, I don't care about your fucking personal space. [SPEAKER_03]: I know you're traveling all around the world and don't have anything secure except for this safe space. [SPEAKER_03]: But we're gonna fuck with it anyway. [SPEAKER_03]: We're just gonna go ruffling around through your stuff like fuck these kids.

[SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I don't think Starsport trade here is being in the wrong. [SPEAKER_04]: No part of me feels based on the scenario portrayed that Stars doing a single thing wrong here. [SPEAKER_04]: They offered to give them, they gave them merch. [SPEAKER_04]: They gave them a free autograph picture that because it wasn't hand-signed in that moment to their liking, the kids throw it on the crown and are very disrespectful. [SPEAKER_04]: You're right, fuck these kids.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm not happy. [SPEAKER_01]: Also, how do we know that Dracula is a bad guy? [SPEAKER_04]: Well, we know that because he gives a big speech at the end, Chan. [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, this is where we get the pun, at least they're keeping it wheel. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, the latest gentleman.

[SPEAKER_01]: I feel like that was supposed to be upon us like at least for keeping it wheel and that guy messed it up and the only was like we can't let the pun not go I'm gonna save it we can't afford a second take we've done this take seventeen times like hungry I want to leave just get the pon out [SPEAKER_01]: And at the end, I do everything. [SPEAKER_04]: And somebody like that should be the end of the show.

[SPEAKER_04]: We should walk off, but instead we get an entire bad guy monologue I just wrote here. [SPEAKER_04]: And I guess. [SPEAKER_04]: That's my like, that's my for this episode. [SPEAKER_04]: That's my little colon and then you have another thought. [SPEAKER_04]: My other thought is I just kept writing. [SPEAKER_04]: I guess I guess that's what happens. [SPEAKER_04]: I guess we're done here. [SPEAKER_04]: They're fighting, I guess.

[SPEAKER_01]: Mine was, I kept raining the same thing three times with more more capital letters. [SPEAKER_01]: Ben Helsing is Gary Goldman. [SPEAKER_01]: Goldman! [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like... Over in a... and Ben Helsing. [SPEAKER_01]: Ben Helsing. [SPEAKER_01]: Ben Helsing! [SPEAKER_01]: Because I couldn't believe I had no thought I was saying, we're going with this?

[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, you know how people think an A to B. Some people can think A to C. I think us three we think A to Q. These people think A to A. They don't get off of A. They just get on A and they stay there. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I [SPEAKER_04]: These kids are very disrespectful. [SPEAKER_04]: I did not like them. [SPEAKER_04]: And so my final note on this is one of this was something. [SPEAKER_04]: This is definitely a program of television.

[SPEAKER_04]: But the thing is I watched the credits looking for something that would catch my eye because there's always like that one thing. [SPEAKER_04]: And what really got me about vampires is the fact that there was not one, but two different people on product placement.

[SPEAKER_04]: multiple people handled product placement on the vanpires show guaranteeing that like we got to make sure there's a lot of products and they are constantly being shown and I didn't notice any product placement in this honestly which they did a very bad job [SPEAKER_03]: You always have to go back to transformers in GI Joe to see where somebody said we need to make money from these toys. [SPEAKER_03]: Let's have some fucking no name.

[SPEAKER_03]: I don't give a shit who write a story for these toys so we can sell these past pieces shit to the kids and [SPEAKER_03]: what they got was a group of people who were creative and dedicated and they brought so much more than they ever needed to to, you know, gejo and transformers and made something. [SPEAKER_01]: He's fixing. [SPEAKER_01]: He's talking about you. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm right.

[SPEAKER_03]: And then you get something like this that just feels purely intended to generate content long before that was like a term that we use like we need to put a thing on the air. [SPEAKER_03]: And I don't give a fuck what it is. [SPEAKER_03]: Make it as cheaply as possible and just get who the fuck ever to write some words on a page and just [SPEAKER_03]: put it on a thing and then just do it. [SPEAKER_03]: It feels so mercenary and ugly. [SPEAKER_03]: Um, uh, nah, I hate this.

[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, it was a creativity. [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_01]: Well, this is weird, but as somebody who has done styling, then he'll sing's outfit of the leopard and the blue, which I could agree with because it's kind of a Betsy Johnson vibe, but then like the weird plaid pants with it. [SPEAKER_01]: I was like, you hate everybody. [SPEAKER_01]: Also, they do not film well. [SPEAKER_01]: I thought they had little fires on them for the longest time.

[SPEAKER_01]: Then we get out of the close. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, actually, that's a nice pants. [SPEAKER_01]: And I'd have to be impaired of something else. [SPEAKER_01]: It would have been better. [SPEAKER_01]: But I was like, nobody paid fucking cared. [SPEAKER_01]: They're like, this looks weird, put it on. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, very much, very much. [SPEAKER_04]: It's just, I wish this show wasn't. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, I wish this show wasn't.

[SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I just did a real quick Google. [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, all right, I'm gonna get us prep to watch an episode of Kung Fu pork choppers at some future point. [SPEAKER_03]: And it turns out that, indeed, it is one of those shows. [SPEAKER_03]: It is originally called Gigi Bond in China. [SPEAKER_03]: And they just renamed it, slap some new shit all over it. [SPEAKER_01]: This is my new favorite thing I'm discovering across the board.

[SPEAKER_03]: The Gentiles have left their stink all over this. [SPEAKER_04]: Love it. [SPEAKER_04]: I you know what more yeah, we're doing all thirteen episodes. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to start there. [SPEAKER_04]: We're doing vanpires is a side project. [SPEAKER_01]: This started is knowing us as a party where we listen to the cast recording. [SPEAKER_04]: And also we watch Starlight Express with Eve on Patreon. [SPEAKER_04]: Who says no? [SPEAKER_04]: Who says no?

[SPEAKER_04]: Me. [SPEAKER_01]: Okay. [SPEAKER_04]: There it is, Chan. [SPEAKER_04]: Sorry. [SPEAKER_04]: Your consent is not necessary, Chan. [SPEAKER_04]: It's a woman's real Chan. [SPEAKER_04]: You know what? [SPEAKER_04]: Because this episode, it's such a profound impact on me. [SPEAKER_04]: It caused me to remember that the cold slither album is now available for pre-order and I have just pre-ordered it on vinyl. [SPEAKER_04]: The GI Joe Cold Slyther.

[SPEAKER_04]: They hired, so if you don't know, Cold Slyther obviously was a fictional Zartan in the Dread Nox band for an episode of GI Joe that we have the writer of that episode on because it's been a big deal because San Diego Comic Con is Cold Slyther this year. [SPEAKER_04]: They've actually tied in two on what I have the figure. [SPEAKER_04]: Hold on one second. [SPEAKER_04]: I got to show this for the video.

[SPEAKER_03]: You have to show this to the people who are listening to the podcast. [SPEAKER_04]: Robo Toy Fair over the last weekend. [SPEAKER_04]: And I bought this. [SPEAKER_01]: All right, as our ten cults live their figure when he's singing rock the redhead. [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, it is phenomenal. [SPEAKER_04]: And I know it's an audio medium, but I mean, we recording this on. [SPEAKER_03]: Is there is there a quantum leap of line of three in the quarters? [SPEAKER_01]: No, and I'm very mad.

[SPEAKER_01]: I'm very mad. [SPEAKER_01]: They also canceled that second, that reboot, which was really good. [SPEAKER_04]: Really? [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. [SPEAKER_04]: Here it's great. [SPEAKER_04]: Well, here's the deal. [SPEAKER_04]: This company has hired an actual band to take the cold slither song from the show, record like ten more tracks as Zartan as Cold Slither and release it as an album this summer, both on vinyl and on CD. [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm sure digitally as well.

[SPEAKER_04]: I mean, keep it real. [SPEAKER_04]: It's twenty twenty five. [SPEAKER_04]: But all of this stuff will be coming available at San Diego Comic Con, which I don't think has happened as we record this. [SPEAKER_04]: It's like there's a big cold slither presence there as they sell the entire set of all of those figures, all the characters of the band have figures. [SPEAKER_04]: And there's a whole like set you can buy. [SPEAKER_04]: And it's just phenomenal.

[SPEAKER_04]: I'm into all of this. [SPEAKER_04]: And I love, I love this. [SPEAKER_04]: I want to support this. [SPEAKER_04]: I put my money towards this. [SPEAKER_01]: See now, here's what has me asking a question because I was a big deal in the gem community that we got the theme song prerecorded for release and high quality. [SPEAKER_01]: How come Jim who has an amazing song catalog also owned by Hasbro? [SPEAKER_01]: We ain't getting this shit. [SPEAKER_03]: That ain't a good question.

[SPEAKER_04]: They made a gem live action movie like a few years ago that my understanding is did not do very well. [SPEAKER_01]: No. [SPEAKER_04]: So maybe you did get it. [SPEAKER_04]: You didn't even know. [SPEAKER_01]: No, we didn't get it. [SPEAKER_01]: None of the songs were in the movie. [SPEAKER_01]: One of the many reasons why I've failed. [SPEAKER_01]: The introduced pizzazz of the end as Keshaw, which I would have actually really enjoyed to see.

[SPEAKER_01]: And because of that, we're not getting the stingers. [SPEAKER_01]: Do you understand? [SPEAKER_01]: We're not getting the stingers. [SPEAKER_01]: And if this guy want to tell to people who are right in these gym films, we need to get to the stingers riot affected everybody's sexuality. [SPEAKER_01]: Everyone's. [SPEAKER_04]: but you're not wrong. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm looking at not twenty-fifteen's gem in the holograms with Molly Ringwald as Antibaley.

[SPEAKER_04]: Juliet Lewis is in this movie. [SPEAKER_04]: That's everybody I recognize. [SPEAKER_03]: Not then now. [SPEAKER_03]: She can do it now. [SPEAKER_04]: They are like working on the reboot of the Hasbroverse, where all of these things of GI Joe Transformers Jam, Mask, and my little pony all exist in the same universe. [SPEAKER_04]: And I know that has Bro is working on making this a thing.

[SPEAKER_04]: Well, in the live action, remember, at the end of the one of the Transformers live action movies, they made a GI Joe reference in the post credit scene, implying that that's were working towards that right now. [SPEAKER_04]: And I'm here for that. [SPEAKER_04]: That's why I assumed it wasn't my childhood. [SPEAKER_04]: Right, and it is.

[SPEAKER_04]: And to be fair, Buzz Dixon did confirm this, a cut scene in from the My Little Pony movie that actually brought in Transformers, Mask, and GI joke. [SPEAKER_04]: And here's what you didn't hear about this. [SPEAKER_04]: Buzz Dixon interview. [SPEAKER_04]: One of them, there was one of the ponies, so they were all in trouble. [SPEAKER_04]: So the pony went off to like, get help. [SPEAKER_04]: from other people.

[SPEAKER_04]: And so the pony started showing up in other Hasbro, so it showed up. [SPEAKER_04]: And so shipwreck is like drunk, a sleeping under a tree or whatever. [SPEAKER_04]: And the bylittle pony comes up and is asking him for help. [SPEAKER_04]: And he's just like, get out of here. [SPEAKER_04]: I don't. [SPEAKER_04]: And then like it leaves. [SPEAKER_04]: And he sort of like, picks up the bottle. [SPEAKER_04]: He was drinking his sort of throws to the side.

[SPEAKER_01]: She works my favorite. [SPEAKER_01]: I'm sorry. [SPEAKER_01]: They had bits. [SPEAKER_01]: He's in my favorite. [SPEAKER_04]: He's the best. [SPEAKER_04]: And so like they had this thing that literally tied all these universes at least as a multiverse concept. [SPEAKER_04]: And they decided not to go that route, which is distressing. [SPEAKER_04]: I have a shootup break. [SPEAKER_04]: My God. [SPEAKER_04]: I love that half a shipwreck. [SPEAKER_01]: Half a shipwreck.

[SPEAKER_01]: Well, he, you know, he's a wreck. [SPEAKER_04]: He is a wreck. [SPEAKER_04]: Honestly like the shipwreck without his lower half is a lot less dangerous. [SPEAKER_04]: If you know what I mean. [SPEAKER_04]: Come on up. [SPEAKER_04]: A hundred gigs of Donaria. [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you. [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, Poly, Poly seen some things. [SPEAKER_04]: That's all I'm trying to say. [SPEAKER_04]: Anyway, that is vampires. [SPEAKER_04]: A y'all are both on board for thirteen episodes, right?

[SPEAKER_04]: We're going to keep coming back to this, right? [SPEAKER_01]: I'm just thinking, what is Poly sure for Poly Amorous? [SPEAKER_01]: Poly romantic. [SPEAKER_03]: Hmm. [SPEAKER_03]: Please. [SPEAKER_03]: Uncle Poly sandwiches? [SPEAKER_01]: I'm telling you, I am telling you, they have hot sandwiches as well if you like a meatball. [SPEAKER_01]: It's too much. [SPEAKER_04]: I feel like the sandwich talk is when a lot of people said, I think I'm just going to get out of this episode.

[SPEAKER_04]: So let's beat them to the punch. [SPEAKER_04]: You can, of course, go to a, hit find our Facebook group, find our patreon patreon.com slash knowing us have to podcast e best. [SPEAKER_04]: Why are people find you and what projects would you like to direct them towards? [SPEAKER_01]: You know what, at e best for anywhere you can think of. [SPEAKER_01]: And also, I'm becoming a pick me on LinkedIn. [SPEAKER_04]: Hey, nice.

[SPEAKER_04]: And you're using chat GPT to write all of your LinkedIn posts, right? [SPEAKER_04]: Like, that's the very normal thing to do, right? [SPEAKER_01]: It's the very normal thing to do. [SPEAKER_01]: Actually, I'm developing an AI called the E-DOS wire. [SPEAKER_04]: I like that. [SPEAKER_04]: I like that. [SPEAKER_04]: I'm actually, I'm trying to get one step ahead of the game, and I'm asking chat GPT to read the LinkedIn posts, so I don't have to.

[SPEAKER_04]: That way, you know, I still don't know it, but it's all chat GPT anyways, who cares? [SPEAKER_04]: I don't like to say it. [SPEAKER_04]: If no one could be bothered to write it, I can't be bothered to read it. [SPEAKER_04]: It's a lot of truth in that, Chen. [SPEAKER_03]: I'm looking at the Uncle Pauli's menu right now, so I don't know how better to convey to you that I've checked out, but I'm gone. [SPEAKER_04]: I know we're in for lunch tomorrow.

[SPEAKER_04]: I guess that does it. [SPEAKER_04]: Why everybody needs us? [SPEAKER_00]: Transform by the meeting, stand between the vampires and a world's sub-dry and runnin' on empty, heart-team, heart-car, all here. [SPEAKER_00]: The motivators must fight the night to save the dam. [SPEAKER_00]: So check your fear and get in gear. [SPEAKER_00]: The vampires are here.