Welcome to the special one year anniversary episode here at come with Casey. This is going to be a bit different than what you're used to seeing. This is not going to be Carrie and I sitting down and talking about sex topics today is going to be what we like to call the road so far. Uh, we've compiled together clips from our top episodes and from our listeners, favorite episodes in order to show everyone how far we've come over this last year. That includes about 50 episodes.
That includes over 5, 000 downloads from you guys. And we're very, very happy about that. We're excited to see what the next year brings us. So with having said that, I'm not even going to say anything else. We're just going to jump right in to our first clip, which is the very basic who we are and why we're here. Enjoy. So, the first thing, Ha, ha, ha. That we are going to be diving into is why we're here. The importance of it. The goal of it.
And because this needs to be said in a way that I cannot, I'm going to pass this over to my husband. Alright, so the fact is that the bedroom has a tendency to become a one act play. Partners find that one avenue of orgasm and just stick with it in like this endless cycle that over time just becomes boring. The truth is that the notion that sex is all about the orgasm, it's an outdated mindset. There are multiple components to sex and we want to explore all of them with our audience.
We are here to help you become the sexual self you've always wanted to be. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I fucking love that and I'm so glad that we're actually finally doing this. This is a concept that we've been working on for well over a year now. We had the idea because we were the friends that everyone talked sex with. Let's be honest, we're the friends that are always talking about sex. We are! We love talking about sex. It is the number one favorite topic.
It's just, it creates such like, such good discussion. It creates such openness too. Especially with friends because you start learning more and more about them. And it allows you guys to create a unique bond that, I mean, let's face it, isn't talked about in most circles. Okay, this clip that we're going to do comes from one of our earlier episodes and we had received a question about what the difference was between a fantasy, a kink and a fetish.
So we spent an entire episode going over the difference between them and covering some of what our personal fantasies and kinks are. It was a blast and we had a lot of fun making the episode. I know that we were cracking up behind the scenes. We were having so much fun doing it. So enjoy this clip from our episode on fantasies. Kinks and fetishes. we want to take that next step, once something goes past a fantasy, into reality, and then that reality starts to become more frequent.
So today, we're going to be talking about fantasies, kinks, and fetishes. I've been so excited for this topic. I've been like I can't wait to get into it So again, like you said we talked a little bit more about fantasy Last episode. Yeah, so I mean, we'll do a quick little Battle for you. Remember that fantasy is is that imaginative person that you have in your head the person that maybe fantasizes about Some what would be considered? Taboo things and maybe you've shared them with your partner.
Maybe you've kept them to yourself We always encourage you to sit down with your partner and talk about the fantasies that you might have Whether that be within the role playing world or whether that be within the BDSM world or whatever it starts to kind of you know No, you notice that it starts to arouse you I kind of hold on to it Write it down and at some point sit down your partner and share it So then what is the difference between that and a kink?
So kink is whenever we start to move into Something that you would do more often. Uh, so say, uh, I don't know, let's say that somebody is really into getting spanked. Okay, yeah, relatable. There you go. And they enjoy it. Guilty. And so now they're starting to ask for it a little bit more. It's moved out of the realm of fantasy. It's moved into something that you're enjoying doing. And you like to do it, you know, often. And it's something that's arousing for you.
And it's something that you, you kind of just do. And, and you're okay with it. And you enjoy it. Okay, so now I'm gonna ask. What's your kink? Cause mine was literally just spilt out. Like, we get it. It's spanking. What's yours? What is one of my kinks? I've got a library of kinks. Yeah, you do. I know them. This is for the audience. Um, for the audience. Oh, let's see. Uh, I am a hugely, uh, I'm audio centric. I love noises. You're a musician. So that makes sense.
So anything relative to sex and noises I'm i'm a huge fan of that might be like slurping or that might be um, like actual sex noises like for through penetration, um, or anything of the of that nature Like i'm hugely like that's a big kink for me skin pounding against one another. Absolutely.
Absolutely But yeah, but that's also why me personally if if like we're having sex I want it to be I want communication, I want talking, I want, like, more noise and more theatrics and, like, it's, I think it's fun, I think it makes sex more playful, and a hell of a lot better than sitting there either in silence or just with basic moans and groans. Yeah, absolutely.
Uh, I, I definitely love kind of getting into this and talking about it, even just kind of going back again to the fantasy versus kink. I love the idea of the concept of the fantasy being like what you bring to your partner, what y'all discuss, what things that you kind of want to try out and do. And then through exploring that you can find kinks like kinks are great. It's a, it's an amazing thing to have. It keeps it exciting and fresh and.
I mean, again, we kind of went into I love being spanked, but there's something about like being in the moment and pausing and having that, like, Yeah, it's a it's a definitely a different tactile sensation. It's great.
Yes, and it just again like Explore your kinks and don't be afraid to communicate that with your partner or or even Testing out your kinks on yourself Masturbation there could be ways that you can explore certain like little kinks before you try to bring that to your partner Absolutely Well, I mean in actuality one of the ways that you can't explore some kinks that you might be into together as a couple Or if you're if you've already set boundaries and you're okay with it Exploring in porn with
yeah and starting to see What sort of things are out there and what sort of kinks that you might be into. So just using search terms to be like, Hey, let's see what this looks like and see if I get aroused from it. Then let's try that. I mean, even watching porn with your partner is a kink. Yeah. Is it is literally a kink within itself and that's actually something that you and I have started to explore with. More recently and and more often is is watching porn while having sex.
Well, so actually that's good That's a good shareable bit about us in our history is that it hasn't always been like that No, no, we had not had the relationship with porn in the past that we do Currently. Yeah, and that was what was really cool about it or what was really our growing thing that allowed us to communicate and And move forward and become like more, more sexual about it was the fact that we were able to kind of explore each other's past together.
You know, early on, whenever we were making the show, uh, we had started to receive a number of questions from people about different various topics. And one of the most popular topics we were receiving inquiries about was anal. It was a lot of how do I get my partner to do this? It was a lot of, you know, how do I gain consent? How do I do it? how can I prepare for it? So we broke down our top ways in which you can incorporate Anal play into your bedroom play.
We went over a lot of stuff where we took some of our top tips and we put them right here. So enjoy this clip from our episode on backdoor play. if you've been curious about it, now's the time to listen in. We're going to give you a little bit of a, like a shallow dive. Into what it's all about and maybe how to, how to initiate these things. Okay. So part of the first step for me to engage in an act like this, again, I said was trust, but it also was Casey really doing a lot of research for me.
Um, that's what I do best. It really is. Um, we got into, Uh, having butt plugs because that was a great way to, Oh yeah, like that's the, that's the introductory thing that we're looking at. It is, minus fingers. You don't, yeah, you don't just all of a sudden go in and start shoving things in your ass. Yeah. Please don't just like full throttle penis in your ass. It's not going to feel good. Like you, you do have, there's steps that you need to take.
And I do believe that in the very beginning we did start with like maybe finger play and like lube. Right. And then we moved on to a trainer set. Yes. And that, thank you. I was wondering what that was called. I was, I couldn't think of the word. I was like, it's going to come to me. I swear the, the trainer sets and there's so many good ones out there and different and, and different options too. Like what they're made plastic, you can get metal, you can get glass, you can get different shapes.
You can get all, it goes all over the spectrum. So it goes back to us telling everybody, Hey, visit your local sex shop or, or go online to check some out because you're going to get these trainer sets, which start off with a relatively small.
Size and you can slowly work your way up and the purpose of it is to make you feel more Comfortable with an object being there in the first place, but also to just prep you right you're you're it Maybe it's going to be that evening you want to plan it out You want to do something and this is a good way to start to prep yourself to relax the musculature around the area So you can be more accepting and ladies. I'm not just talking to you.
I'm also talking to guys Uh, there are a number of men out there that enjoy having prostate play or that are interested in it. And the number one way to do that is to start to train yourself to be accepting of that. So absolutely. And, and if a butt plug is too scary for you, I mean, I know some people don't even want to say the word you really can start out smaller with just your partner's fingers.
Um, I own your, I mean your own, if you want, that's not something that I've ever done or something that I would really care to do. It's all about you and your comfort and what you want. There is no normal. There is no correct way Other than just shoving it in, you know, but but really start somewhere Yeah, exactly starting somewhere is better than not starting at all and I can promise you the benefits of it are are vast Yes, not just from pleasure, but also from the connection.
I mean, you're talking about a very, a very vulnerable, vulnerable area and, and be like you just said, you having that trust for your partner, that you're going to do that, you're going to get through this together. Yes. And it's going to be an enjoyable experience. And one thing that I would also suggest, uh, when first kind of toying with the idea of and anal is have the smallest butt plug in while having sex. That was one way to talk about enhancement.
Yes. And not just for me, you know, I mean, I don't have a dick, so I don't know what it feels like to have. inside and rub up against some metal object. But I would imagine that like it's definitely an enhancement.
Now, having said that, I've also had conversations with, with men who are, let's just say very well endowed, um, who it's a hindrance for them is that they said because they are larger, um, but to have their, their spouse have a plugin, it actually creates more pressure and can be uncomfortable for both them and their spouse. So, um, just be careful with that. Take that for what it is. Uh, but yeah, plugs when used during. Normal intercourse or normal sex, um, it can feel great.
Can I be an added bonus? Yeah, because I feel like in the past, if that's ever been a situation for us, um, knowing that there was something like a plug in while having intercourse made me want the anal more. Well, certainly, I mean, there's many, many different types of orgasms and just the thought of being able to orgasm from something like anal stimulation or prostate stimulation in men is, it's an interesting thought for sure.
I know curious, curiosity is on a lot of people's minds, so there's plenty that you can do to prep for that kind of stuff. Okay. So you're a doctor, you understand, you know, the whole, anatomy and shit. All the plumbing. Yeah, exactly. You see, you already know where I'm going with this. What could someone do to physically Prep their body not necessarily mentally, but just physically to ensure that maybe there's no mishaps Yeah, well, I mean it's in that sense.
It's all about like peace of mind, right? You have somebody that maybe you want to attempt something like this or they're they're curious, but they're like, oh my gosh What if and their mind goes crazy? What do it does? Yeah I've been that person. Something that you want to try in any way that you can to avoid. So my number one there on top of using like a trainer set to prep yourself so it doesn't hurt is to, it's what we call eating for anal.
Okay. And so you want to, you want to plan that you're going to be doing this. First of all, uh, you can make it a special night if you want to. So don't have enchiladas right before. Yeah, that would be a really good idea. Um, no, but you, you want to prep yourself and not just, you know, drunkenly go into something like this. You want to eat for it. Have, like, eat clean for, uh, 24 to 48 hours beforehand would be my... my suggestion, plenty of water, make sure that you're cleaning yourself.
And then, I mean, there's also, I've had people talk about this, I've heard in other interviews so you can do a anal douching beforehand. Oh, okay. It's like, really, you're just like cleaning yourself out. And again, and again, and not only is it about making sure that you are clean, so you're not doing things like maybe passing bacteria back and forth, but you're also doing this in such a way.
That you can have that peace of mind that like, okay, I know I have nothing to worry about, which will also make it in the process of while you're having anal sex, that you can be more relaxed. You know, it seems that it's an inevitability within any longterm relationship in which the. Bedroom game is strong that couples tend to head towards role play at some point. Let's pretend to be fantasy people. Let's pretend to be characters, all that.
But one of the questions we started receiving was how do I become confident? In role playing, how can I stay in it? How can I get my head in the game? How can I make this something fun for both me and my partner? And so this clip that we're going to play now is from our episode, all about role playing, where we talked about gamifying it and creating your character and best practices to do so. So enjoy this clip from our episode, all about role playing.
role playing again, it is such a beautiful thing that you can do with your partner. You could even incorporate other people in to role playing. I want you to explain that one out. So actually what really directly brought me to this is we had an NGL question. We did, didn't we? We had this question of. I'm assuming again, a woman's perspective. I want to be a unicorn. Now it sounded like this, I remember this question.
Yeah. It sounded like this person had already spoke with their partner, uh, and their partner was so not on board. Did it have one and nothing to do with it? Not interested in like, that's fine. Yeah, it is. Because what if I came to you and said, I want to be a unicorn for another partner? Like. Right for another couple. Yeah. For another couple. Like, first of all, that's beyond our, our boundaries, but also like, that would be in direct violation of some of the things that we've said.
Can you imagine though, like having a fantasy, having a want, bringing it to your partner and then that partner saying no. And you know, we've talked about this in the past too, is like, how do you handle? Being told no in the first place because you have to be vulnerable to even bring it up. I love that word vulnerability Typical for me to say so when you are actually vulnerable and you bring it to your partner and they just have no interest in it Like, how do you handle that?
I truthfully think role playing is like the gateway into trying something or being creative to something that you want that your partner is maybe not down for. What's the word we're looking for here? Indicative. Compromise. Sorry. A little, a little story. I, uh, we were listening to the news earlier and they said the word indicative and I'm like obsessed with the word. And so I was like, I'm going to put this in the podcast. Somewhere, somehow.
Now, it was And my only stipulation was like, Yeah, go ahead, just please use it appropriately. And then here I am, being who I am. So, anyways. A Compromise. Compromising. But, what would be such an awesome way to maybe bring in this, like, concept of being a unicorn when you're not technically is to roleplay it. Yeah. What if... Y'all were to bring someone in. First of all, you, they would, whatever couple this is, would need to be in a position where they are having threesomes.
A hundred percent. And, and, but yes. Yes, however, we don't really know, so we're just going to give you some insight and, and maybe this could be a goal of yours, a goal of y'all's, like 5, 10 years down the line, all we're doing is giving you some advice and something to try for. Yeah. This isn't telling you to go and do this tomorrow. But if you have a partner that has a fantasy about being a unicorn and you as that Opposite end is not okay with it.
That's fine maybe You role play, you have another partner in, and then your spouse that wants to be the unicorn could go in and kind of pretend or role play to be that unicorn that they want to be, but it's still within that safe space and still within the boundaries that y'all have set. There are ways to make your wants doable within your spouse through compromise, understanding. I mean, and so, and the hierarchy of role play, you're, you're pretty far into it at this point. Yeah, I'm all in.
So I'm going to invite us, like, take a step back, not in just role playing in general, but to be like, Hey, um, what are some good introductory, like, why don't we role play in the first place? That's very true. I went to like Z let's go back to A. I got it. Hey, it's what I do. I can't help it. I'm very passionate in this role playing. And, and, and that NGL question, just like, Sprott or this idea. So let's go with this. Why do we role play in the first place?
So we touched on it a hair was saying it allows you to to become someone else. It allows you to step out of your comfort zone and allows you to actually build a character. Now, not everybody can just go out. And just say I'm now someone else like we're not all actors or actresses. We're we're That's not our game But we may be interested in creating a new character So my first suggestion to anyone is start brainstorming yourself as a different like what is your? Sorry, that was a big hiccup.
What is your character? So that could be fun. Like make a characterization of them, pull out a sheet of paper, pull out your notes on your phone and talk about your character. Like it can be anyone or anything. You can start from scratch or you can start from somebody that you might admire. Start writing things down about them their personality what they look like. So think about it Have you ever heard the concept of like your ideal client?
Oh, you know, I'm you I know you have thousand times over but think of like so your ideal client to just to give a little reference to it is like Uh, the person in, in any type of industry that you want to service, right? Like you think of this ideal client as like down to like almost their hair color, their, you know, their age and like, but maybe do that exact same thing.
But like what you're saying for the person that you want to play in this, like role playing concept, because you get to create whoever you want. And then that person could almost be your like alter ego. Exactly. Examples of what we can go off of there is. Start with the way that they look. What's their hair color? What's their eye color? What's their face shape? What does their nose look like? What is like, what is their body type? What are their breasts like? What are their arms like?
What is like, every single thing that you can about them. Start building your character and from there go into their personality. How do they act? Are they witty? Are they smart? Are they like snarky? Because that could give you, if you have this like baseline of who this character is, then it is a lot easier to form. Um, how you want them to be in that moment, because you already have an idea on who this person or who this character is. Absolutely.
So now, that's the fun part, is that once you've built your character, I mean, think about it, and I mean, I've talked to, I'm sure there's a lot of people listening to, you know, have played video games at some point in their life. Yeah, that's a really good reference, actually. Think about it, think about like playing an RPG where you have your character customization screen and you're building your character.
Do that shit, but do it for your fantasy person that you're going to, you're going to play in the bedroom. And maybe not only that, but maybe sit down with you and your partner. I mean, maybe there's an aspect. That's true. That my husband Casey would like to see on me that I wouldn't necessarily think of or also wouldn't mind his input in. I mean, this actually makes me think of something when we very first started dating that, and I, he, he, he's going to hate that I say this.
Um, but when we first started dating, he was like, yeah, I love long straight black hair. And I'm like, bitch, I got short curly hair. Like. What are you talking about? I have no hatred for you saying that, first of all, because I will own, I will own that real quick. Yes. Yeah, I was like, uh, okay. That is, that is something that I happen to be into. But that could then be a character of mine. That could be a person. I could get a long, straight, black wig. And, and once I put that wig on.
I am now that person. Yes. So we've built a character, right? You've sat down with your spouse. You kind of tossed ideas around and please, as we've said so many times before, nonjudgmental. Like just because your partner says, Oh man, I really would love to see a redhead. Don't take that personally, like that must mean that you don't like the fact that I have blonde hair. That must mean that you don't like me the way that I am. No, as, as a partner. You don't like my curly hair. Exactly.
Like, whoever the spouse is, we love you just the way that we are, but we are entering into a whole world of Possibilities. Possibility and fantasy roleplay. And being able to explore physical attributes that we don't on an everyday basis. Yeah, because that's what it's all about is changing the norm. In a great way, in a respectful way, and in a consentful way. Changing the norm and that's almost like textbook definition of what role playing is.
Yes. It allows you to kind of just take over another role of another character. So once you've actually built your character out, um, if you are somebody that can jump right into it and acted that act these things out, go for it. Now, while we've had a lot of episodes on various topics. We had a couple of episodes on a very touchy subject in modern day, but a more popularized subject in modern day. And that is opening up your relationship.
What happens whenever 1 partner or both partners want to bring in a 3rd of the bedroom or they want to begin? Exploring their sexuality with other people while maintaining your relationship. Again, it's a very touchy subject when we take very seriously, but when we can also have a lot of fun with once we can really dive in. So enjoy this clip from our episode on opening up your relationship. we want to. Pull back the curtain of what all of this is.
We want to do it in such a way that we're talking to people about, like breaking into it in the first place. What are the initial steps? You know, we've had a, we've talked a lot about fantasy and we've talked a lot about discussion about how do we, how do we do this kind of thing? Communication and consent and comfortability, right? Our three C's. What we want to do today is.
Talk to the people who have had the fantasy of either bringing another person in the bedroom or bringing another couple into the bedroom Whether that be just same room sex, soft swapping, full swapping, whatever it is We want to talk a little bit about that today because it deserves to be talked about and I think that it starts off Personally, I think it starts off with like the why of getting into doing something like this in the first place We talked about this earlier today and we said that
or at least it was brought up that There's a myth out there, um, about why people start to open up their relationship. And oftentimes people are told that, well, they do it because they're in a disappointing relationship. Their sex life is disappointing. They're unhappy. They need to find, uh, sexual gratification. They need to find these things elsewhere. And so they go ahead and open up. And we want to be the first to tell you that that's bullshit. Yeah, that's absolutely not the case.
I feel like sometimes the stronger the couple you are, the more opening up can make sense. Right? There's this whole thing out there that we can say, no, in reality, if you have a strong relationship, a strong sexual relationship, and you've had these fantasies, there's zero reason, um, not to. Yeah, there's zero reason why they cannot be fulfilled together. And this is not this separated mindset. This is...
No, we're doing this together as a couple to bring us even closer to understand each other more. Once you start having the conversation, it's amazing how bonded you feel with this partner through the, the even concept or understanding or beginning stages of wanting to open up. And really what we're wanting to get you to understand today is that there is no right way. There's no, like, blueprint for this. It's communicating with your partner what y'all's boundaries are together.
And once you understand what y'all can do together, it opens up so many doors. Yeah, understand that we're, as human beings, not bred for this.
Monogamy, we, we Monogamy is a choice and it's a great choice, especially if it works out for you and you're a person that says, I want the one person and they're gonna be my thing and I'm gonna hold onto them and they're gonna hold onto me, and we're gonna have a great relationship with just the two of us on the sexual level for the rest of our lives, man, by all, all means have fucking go for it. It is a great thing, and it's beautiful to see people have success in a relationship like that.
I understand this. There's also people that have super successful relationships that involve more than just the two of them. And that's really what we're going to talk about today. So as, as Carrie just mentioned, we want to talk about boundaries. We want to talk about communication and consent. So what we want to do is write down our best practices for how to do that. And we, we said this earlier, it starts off. Right? It starts off with, um, sitting down with your partner.
And just expressing what you want. And being fully transparent. This was a big one that we talked about, is you need to make it clear, both of you, if you're planning on opening up or if you've had the discussion, to be clear with where you want it to go. Yeah. Um, and keep in mind this can change over time. But do not hold back from your partner, uh, for their sensitivity or for your own sensitivity.
If you're going to be a husband that sits back and says, well, you know, um, you've talked about expressing. Or you've talked about being with another woman and I think it'd be okay for us to do that and you start discussing what that might look like. Don't hold back from, if you are on the inside feeling like, well, it would be great for us to, you know, both sleep with another woman. It would be great for, um, us to sleep with another couple or, uh, separately or together or whatever it is.
You need to try to be as clear as possible with what your vision is in the very beginning. Uh, yeah, 100%. I would almost say, like, journal it together. write stuff out, um, and, and have something that y'all can like go back to. But I do want to take us back just like a teensy bit, um, and have a slight conversation on what happens if you want to open, but your partner doesn't.
Cause I've actually heard this from multiple clients at this point that it is something that they are interested in, but their spouse has zero. I would, I would reinforce the point of saying like, what does it look like for them? If your client's coming to you and saying, Hey, I've had an interest in opening up. Okay. How far and have you thought about the other side of the equation of your partner? Um, what does that look like? Got to think about the whole thing.
So I think that my advice though with this question or with the situation would be to introduce it. And we've talked about this in other episodes before do not have an emotional response to your partner's response, especially if you're the person that's wanting to open up in the first place, correct? And maybe they're not. Sometimes it's planting that seed, maybe planting it again. Maybe start off with just a fantasy, not fantasized about sleeping with somebody else. But what.
We're trying to get you to understand is before all of this, before you start having the conversation with boundaries and everything, it can take time for y'all to both come together and want the same things. Casey and I did not start out immediately on the same page. Okay, let's do this. No, it started small and started with conversations. It started with sharing fantasies. It started with communicating.
So if you, You are a partner and you are interested in the lifestyle, but your significant other is not. What I'm going to encourage you to do is continue the conversation unless it becomes a deal breaker for your partner. And if it becomes a deal breaker for your partner, then maybe it's best to, there are things that need to be kept as a fantasy that are not always going to be able to, um, see through. Fantasize and compromise.
That needs to be another one of ours I'm serious like Fantasy compromise through a fantasy whatever it is, but that's what i'm good at is these like little one liner No, I love that. That was honestly great. Like i'm putting in the back of my head We're gonna remember that one You find a way to compromise this whole thing Just because you're the person that wants to open up and you have these fantasies and your partners are into it Way out the value of the relationship.
Is the relationship worth continuing? Is this something that you just have to have and if you don't have it, it might, you know, eat at you until you can't take it NGO question where the girl wrote in and was like, I want to be a unicorn, but my significant other does not want me to be a unicorn. And that was pretty much our response is how important, yeah, how important it is. to fulfill this and then how important is your relationship with this person?
Start to start to look at it, you know, way out the options here because there's always options. Uh, do you just need to prioritize and figure out where you lie in the relationship and is this fantasy? That important to you. And if it is that important to you, have you expressed it to your partner? And how is their response? Like, there's so many variables. They know how important it is to you.
There are so many variables to this whole discussion that it is, it's not the calmest waters to tread through, but it could be some of the most rewarding waters to tread through. It really is. And, and so, I'm glad we kind of went on that like pre tangent and now and now we're gonna bring it back to what we were saying So now like there's consent on both ends. Yeah, you're both like, okay. Well, we could try this.
I want to do this This sounds great So we have a few things that we really feel like would be beneficial Even call it like a checklist if you will and through this checklist it can be something as Big and I'm going to go big, something as big as like penetration or something as small as like, um, a massage. Right, so what we're going to do is draw attention to something we've drawn attention to before and this is your yes, no, maybe list.
You should have this, anybody should have this in their relationship, uh, on a sexual level. Is you should make a list of the things that you're okay with, the things that are absolute no's for you, and the things that you might be open to trying in the future. Okay. Yeah, because when you create this list, then you can go back through and identify the things that you want. Maybe the things you want to do first, maybe the things you're most excited about.
Again, the things that you're like, absolutely not. And the things that you're like, eh, we'll put a pin in it and we'll talk about it later. It's good to have these boundaries because you would hate to start to open up and have something occur. That maybe you accounted for or did not account for, account for, and now you're in a world of... You're just stuck kind of feeling it because you didn't prepare for it mentally.
You're feeling insecure, you're feeling jealous, you're feeling all sorts of emotions that could be negative to your relationship that you didn't even realize were going to happen because you hadn't experienced any of these situations before. So don't go in green. Study up a little bit before you head into something like this. And then also, sidebar, when...
These acts do happen, allow yourself to feel them, don't react in the moment, do not, and allow yourself to accept what it is that you're seeing and or doing. Let's clarify one thing. That doesn't mean that if something's happening, that's just really freaking you out that you can't speak up. Okay, our final clip, we've made it.
And any of our devout listeners probably know what this next one is going to come from our most popular episode without a doubt, there was a time earlier this year that Carrie and I had been invited to attend a workshop and sex party. And so we, we talked it over, we had very deep discussions about what that would look like, what we would do, boundary setting all that. And we decided to go and we had a blast doing it. It was very safe environment. It was a very consensual environment and it was.
Part workshop, part play party. So what we want to do is take a minute to give you a description about what happened once the actual play party started. So enjoy this final clip from our most popular episode. So we went to a sex party. Enjoy. it was in the exact moment of, of, um, interaction. It was able to say, and you did that really well. You honestly did. Like you have a much.
More gentle way of saying no where I get like really insecure with my nose, but you did such a good job like yeah We'll go to the next point But but I will say I mean to create this and then know how to set it up Yeah, and then we are going to be Discussing that a little bit further, but to this episode I do feel like we were to talk about like the experience of it Um, but we're gonna be diving into this a lot a lot more Yeah, what we want to do is we're gonna what we're putting together right
now for a future episode Yes, thank you. I don't want to like give anything away, but there's more to this. I promise some of our big Takeaways that we're, we've now said, Hey, this should be implemented into our teachings, our relationship as a whole and any interactions that we have inside or outside.
Yeah. Because there was even stuff that we had learned how to do here that I, I brought up to carry today that was like, Hey, you know, we practiced that level of consent all night with what seemed like everyone. Oh my god, you're right. That was funny. I didn't even think about that until you brought it up. There was such consent involved around like, hey, can we observe this? Hey, you're doing, you're doing this right here. Would it be okay if we participated in this?
Would you like to do this? Can we do that? And I was sitting back and I was going, wait, we did that like with every thing that we interacted with, but we did not do that with each other. We didn't, we didn't practice that like safe consent and the strongest relationship in the room. I know, unfortunately, at least the strongest relationship in the room. I, I think for us, it did feel like, well, duh, we don't need to do that, but yeah, but we did. We really did.
And it, and it was interesting that we didn't do that that entire night. Um, but you know, to also say, and we're going to go there, we actually weren't active that night. No, that was, so this was probably one of the greatest things about it is that it was made very clear that you can have any level of involvement or non involvement that you choose. There was a couple of people there that were, were.
Essentially, we would call them facilitators who were saying like, you know, I'm not going to be involved in any, uh, explicit activities this evening, but I will guide people. I will teach you things, are going. I'm going to be a mediator. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to make sure things are running smoothly so everybody can have a good time and no one feels uncomfortable. Well, and what's cool about it too is there are actually like stations that were set up too.
There was like a sentry station where a lady was giving like massages and like blindfolds and just doing different things. There was another station. That was the cleanest of what was... Yes, I was the word clean because that implies dirty but... Fair. The tames the most. That was a, yeah, that was the most tame thing going on at that table. Yes. Because things were happening at that table.
But there was, but there was also, um, like just an area to go and set up if you were feeling like, Hey, I don't wanna partake in any of these things. But there was an individual that was doing, um, almo, almost like inner child activities. Yeah. It was very innocent. It was very safe. You could color, they had coloring books, bracelets make a bracelet. Yeah. And so it was just a way to like, I want to be in the same room as everyone. I don't wanna like step out.
Yeah. But maybe I just need a, something a little bit more playful, something a little less serious. Mm-hmm. and I, and I, I went there, that was the first station that I went to I was like, me and you are making bracelets, girl, let's do this Everybody else, like these other people are gonna get started on some very explicit activities. Yeah. My blow drop girl was going to town, you know? Doing her thing. And I'm like, I want to make a bracelet.
Carrie's making a bracelet and like three feet away. Yeah. Somebody's receiving a blowjob. And I think she went like... One dick, next dick, next dick, one dick, next dick. I mean, I mean, she was just, She was having a great time in her, in herself. And I was like, I love that for her. And again, you have to understand that like this was happening, but before any of that happened, that group sat down.
And got consent as to what they were going to be doing this act, this experience, this like hopes and what they wanted, what do you hope to gain from this, what are your desires, what are your bounds, specifically, really like what are your boundaries, um, there's always discussion on like, you know, what is your health status? Yeah, so there everything about that was very open.
There was nothing about it That was in the dark and that was probably one of the most enlightening things about this entire event was that there was no Big levels of like secrecy or of like anything It just felt so honest and pure in a way like Um, even that being our first experience and walking around, there wasn't a single time that I felt like I was looking at something and I shouldn't be.
Now I will say if, um, you were not partaking in the act and you were just going to be an observer, we did practice asking, like you said earlier, may I, yeah, can I watch, may I watch. Yeah. And then, then at that point they can give consent either way. Um, and, and so that was just this really like beautiful thing. And like I said, You and I say we're already skipping their party got started blowjob. Lady was doing her thing Exposed dick was getting his thing. We had some shabari going on.
We had a couple He's intricate knots. So part of that was a show. Yeah, and then that was all going on in the main room Uh, including like the bracelet made making and everything like that. Mm-hmm. And the sensory table, so mm-hmm. like the sensory table. This person would, would place a place another person onto the table and they would do temperature play. They might do, um, various like types of materials or they might, you know, lube up and give 'em a hand job. Yeah. With a blindfold on.
Yeah. That she was, she was passing out a lot of hand jobs that night. Yeah. So there was like that whole area. And then we mo there was moving into this like side. Area, and this is where, where, which was our area. This was like the area that, this was our area you probably enjoyed the most. This, this where we hung out This was like our spectating and participating area. So I'm going to jump real fast.
Yeah. And, and say if you heard our episode previously where we had talked about doing some type of like dom sub lifestyle. Mm-hmm. Within that, we are really wanting to dive in and, and learn more. Now, there was an individual that was there that is high in the lifestyle of BDSM. And I like to view them as a mentor of mine, whether they know this or not, they are secretly my mentor. And again, we're keeping identity secret. Um, but they were there and they were willing to.
Um, display their performance and I wanted to be a part of that performance. So whenever, whenever Carrie says performance we're talking about, they had brought this like portable, uh, spanking bench. So if you ever watch something, uh, like how to build a sex room and they go over like what a spanking bench is, um, they had a portable, one of those like this really nice, high quality bench that had restraints on heavy, like leather, like you said, the restraints is very comfortable.
Yeah, we'll get there and we will get there, but, uh, they had set it up and they were offering sessions for people like mini sessions. You know, here's 10 minutes on the bench. Um, I will introduce you to everything they have now. I'm going to take a quick step away and say. Whenever we were in our circle and talking about everything, they asked people about what their desires might be.
And I had specifically said, I would like to experience some coaching with topping in a impact play situation. So to break that all down for anybody that's like, let's break that down. We know that impact play is using things like whips, chains, paddles, floggers. Um, Jesus fish, whatever that was, anything, anything to, to create, uh, some sort of sensory play with, with your partner. And this is an impactful way. So I'd express that.
And then I talked to the person that was in charge of doing it, that was facilitating it. And they said, yeah, sure. We can, we can absolutely do something like that. So in this back room, they had this bench. And whenever we first came around, I was going to say, what was happening when we first walked in? When we first came around, there was a, there was a couple that was back there. And there were couples. We were not the only couple there. The couples were fewer, but there were couples.
So whenever we first walked back there, like if I paint a picture, we walk in and all I see is the backside of this guy. Yeah. Standing in front of the bench. Mm-hmm. And then his wife bent over towards him and they were going through impact play. But all you're hearing in response to like being hit was muffled Yeah. She was giving him head, so she was giving him head. So all you're hearing is like these muffled noises of like Oh, of like screaming Yeah. So we were like walking into that.
We're like, oh, oh, okay. Okay. So we walk up, we're like, Hey, do you guys mind if we observe? Mm-hmm. Well, and then there are like people, so this was the same room that they had like the. The couches and stuff laying out and around. So there were like individuals on those different beds and on couches, there were beds, um, or engaging sexually with each other or like you said, observing or just talking. Yeah. I mean, some of them were literally just like. Cuddling and talking.
I mean, there's another couple that was like 60, 90 and then there was an individual getting spanked with her husband's dick in her mouth.
Like, and that's what was such a interesting, like interesting thing for me to observe is being like, wow, these two people over here are having like a conversation, like they're out at a restaurant while the people next to them are engaging in something that you'd be like, okay, uh, you guys are going down on each other and it's just so having all this occur in the same space.
With people like other people, a couple of walk around just naked, just butt naked, walk up to the I don't even know how to describe that feeling. Babe, I saw more dick. Ha You did. We both did. In that room than I have seen in my entire life. I saw more dick than a locker room. Like, I'm just gonna say, I haven't been with that many people, and that was more dick than I've ever...
Face to face in my plethora of That was still more I was like, okay law dick, so all right back to this bench back this back We have this this this girl's bent over on this fence and she's having impact play done and we're seeing the tools That this person is using and they were using Basic floggage with like leather and stuff on them and using him in a very artistic way.
That was it was Spectacle it was a performance to watch even for a smaller space where they were set up It was a performance to watch and so to see like that kind of going on Um, I was already like drawn into this whole performance. It was so cool to see. Uh, so they finish up and they go off into another room, take a break, kind of reconnect, uh, husband and wife to kind of sit by themselves for a little bit and process what they just did. And so we ask.
We're like, Hey, this is our turn, right? Going on. Hey, Carrie, Carrie wants to go onto the bench and experience impact play from a professional. And I want to be walked through and coached on being a topper for impact play. So topper being the person that's actually delivering these, the, the whips and everything else. Uh, now my big concern, and this was something I wanted, I had gone with the intention to work through was.
How can I do this and relinquish my empathy towards the person on the bench? Um, in the past and any impact play we've done, I've always had it in the back of my mind of, well, wait a minute, am I going to, am I actually hurting this person? And it was put so eloquently. I love this is what we were told was that I am going to hurt you. But I am not going to harm you. I'm going to cause you pain, but I'm not going to cause you harm. Uh, it's really learning how to kind of gamify BDSM, right?
How to make it into... Well, and it's the intent behind it. Yeah. I'm not trying to hurt you or whatever, right? But like... We're gonna cause you some pain. Yeah. And it's because you want it. You're asking for it. It's because I'm interested in providing it. Yeah. So... It was this like back and forth mutual consent. So it was, I was being introduced to these various tools. Here's this flogger. Here's this ball and chain flogger. Here's this actual chain that we're going to use.
Here's this paddle that was like three feet long. It was the biggest damn paddle that I have ever seen. I've never seen a battle that big. It was huge, but I did well. And so, so we get it. So we're so moving ahead of us. I love it. It was just exciting. Listen, this last year has brought all of us here at Come With Casey so much joy. To be able to sit down and have discussions around things like fantasies and kinks and everything involved with saving intimacy over time in relationships.
Um, some of the people that we get to talk to have provided us with amazing insight and you're going to hear our best of interviews episode coming out soon. For now, we wanted to show some of the clips of our growth over the last year. It's been an amazing road so far. We look forward to see what happens. And there's these upcoming seasons in this upcoming, uh, next year here at come with Casey.
So if you have any questions, if you want to be a guest on the show, if you want to hear about certain topics or you're, you're wanting to see something or do something, let us know. We accept this. All the time. We love filtering through all of your questions and inquiries and some inappropriate ones, of course, but for the most part, we just enjoy hearing from our fans. So drop us a line. You can DM us at cwkc. to on your social platforms. You can email us, come with KC at gmail.
com, uh, and here very soon in the next couple of weeks, you can check out our website, come with KC. com, where you can sign up for our coaching program. You can check out our blog posts, some of our published articles and interact with us in all sorts of ways. So we look forward to seeing you enjoy this next year. Know that we love you all. We can't wait to see what happens here at come with Casey. We'll see you next time.