Well, hello audience. Oh, welcome. Wait, hold on. I like this. I know. I wanna, you're, you're like super conversational today. Yeah. I like to look at you. Yes. I like it. Welcome to a new episode. I have come with Casey. I am her co-host Carrie. And I'm Dr. Casey. So we are just kind of doing like an impromptu episode today. I'm gonna be asking Casey. Uh, a round of questions and we're just gonna get your perspective on it. You give the
advice. See, this is news. This is news to me because this is like a totally in the dark episode.
Yeah, we had, well, it's not that we didn't have any idea. I will be honest. We're supposed to be doing an epi or an interview. Pardon? Of me an interview right now, but we're there's, and it's some miscommunications. Exactly. It happens. And so fuck it. We might as well utilize this time and, uh, talk about a few things that we have. So, no, I'm
actually digging this. So remember people. If you're, if you're not watching on YouTube, if they're listening, they just can't see. Whenever I said Carrie's conversational, she's like in her chair sitting on her legs, facing completely towards me. Usually we're facing the camera. Yeah. Not today. So, but I, I like this facing each other because that's what would give us us such a good conversational dynamic. And it didn't throughout season one, whenever we were standing on opposite sides of a
table. Yeah. I mean, truthfully, that's the only thing that I really miss about our new setup, like our camera's. Cool. I'm used to that now, but I really miss it just being like, Because we were standing facing when, like you just said, oh, today we're doing this. Literally, A conversation. Yeah. Where some of the other ones feel a little too formal and I don't like formal shit, so clearly.
The first thing that we want to talk to you about is, and what you can probably see this beautiful, oh, I'm pulling this out. Yeah. Uh, painting that we have. So this painting was created just for me. I mean, it looks familiar. It looks so familiar. I wonder, I'm still, whose body did they, uh,
I'm still curious where they got the picture from.
Are they mimicking? I don't know. Where'd they get the picture from? Carrie. I don't know what you're talking about. So anyways, this is a good friend of ours.
Much like it's with a, like trying to keep it outta the lights and everything. Yeah,
that's a great, they create all kinds of artwork. Uh, they're honestly super talented. They do a lot as far as like body positivity. I, I remember walking to their art studio and seeing like vaginas just painted everywhere. Mm-hmm. And she made this for us, and I guarantee you we're gonna be commissioning for more. If you wanna get ahold of her though to see more. I was gonna say,
did you wanna tell him? Tell him who it
is. Uhhuh. Well, Her name is Rebecca, but she goes by Becks. Mm-hmm. And if you like this and wanna see more, it is dirty Little requests@gmail.com.
Okay. So you say, so what's
the name of the business? It, it is Dirty Little Requests. Yeah. Uh, she is currently working on her page, but I know she has have an Etsy page. And we are going to be sharing this artwork on our Instagram soon. So when we do. We will tag her when everything is ready and going. Let's see. Yeah, she already has a page Dirty little rejects. Oh, it's dirty little rejects. I love that. That's so cute. Okay. Dirty little rejects. And then but the email was the dirty, dirty little requests that she
emailed.com. Go take a look at their stuff. Uh, they, they do make a lot of cool shit that, and it's not just, well, yeah, they have like jewelry and there's a bunch of jewelry on there. There are paintings on there. They do some custom made stuff too, it looks like. So go give them a, a shout out. Go give them a follow, make sure you're checking in and be sure to tell them that, uh, Carrie and Casey sent you.
Yep. So we, we, you were telling me that we were gonna do an, an interesting episode today. I guess I kind of have a
list of questions because I, again, have the privilege to talk to women. Mm-hmm. And they open up to me because I'm their fucking hairdresser. Yeah. And so, They ask me a lot of questions. And so I've just kind of like collected notes, uh, in my head and in my phone, uh, of things that I wanna ask you because when we talk, a lot of times what we're lacking is a male perspective. Okay? And so I think that's why I was like, considering doing this episode with you. And, and because you give
really good insight. I am a male with a high amount of feminine energy. So let's just be clear on that. I, I'm not a guy's guy. True,
but. I think that maybe you can almost bridge our own gap between our views. Oh yeah, for sure. Like you are pretty fucking masculine. You're just not hyper-masculine. Yeah. And so I think that you can take what these like feminine questions are and you can ate it up in a way to make it more normalized for everyone else. Does that make sense?
I will. I will do my best to answer these questions in a format that is appealing to all audiences.
Okay. So me and my client were discussing oh yeah. Backstory this. Yeah. So we were discussing she has a new partner. Mm-hmm. And now just to kind of like preface it a little bit, she does have some, like past trauma. Mm-hmm. I mean, we kind of all do, but she just has some recent past trauma, but her new partner, they're really wanting to experience, uh, like dirty talk. Okay. So it's a two-part question.
One, she wants to be able to relay to him, Hey, these words that you're going to say to me, I'm accepting. Mm-hmm. I'm okay with it. So that's the first part is how can she get him to be comfortable knowing that this is what I want?
Have they had any discussion yet about it at all?
I think a little, but it, it's new and so I think she's nervous. I think she, what her advice is, she wants to know how to start that conversation. Okay. Well,
I mean, do, the first thing I'm gonna automatically go to is our three Cs comfort. Mm-hmm. Consent, communication. Right. So on the comfortability side, As a guy, whenever my partner comes to me, whenever you come to me and you say, Hey, I wanna do some dirty talk. Mm-hmm. I'm all in. At that point, I'm like, yeah, sure, let's do it.
Now. I've had re reservations in the past because there are certain words where I. If you are, you know, a pretty self-respecting gentleman, then you were like, wow, some of these words can create some discomfort. Mm-hmm. The comfort that we create is knowing that A, you want to hear them. Mm-hmm. And B, it's for your pleasure. Yeah. So if she were to go to him, And say something along the lines of I wanna do some more dirty talk.
I have some specific things I'd like to hear because it turns me on. Mm-hmm. I get pleasure out of you saying these things. That's probably for me, the first step is letting him know that it's for her pleasure. Yeah. And then the second part of it, Letting him know that it's okay for him to, to say thing these things because it gives her pleasure. Yeah. One of the reservations that he may have is being like, man, I feel really uncomfortable.
You know, I feel really uncomfortable calling her a slut or a whore. Yeah. Or, you know, saying certain things and it's okay to feel that discomfort, but if he can explore it a little bit further with her as a. Bonding experience. Mm-hmm. And doing it from a perspective of pleasure, not of degradation. Yeah. Especially if it's somebody's like, wow, I would never call you a bitch because
Yeah. Like, I would never call you
that though, you know? But it's not coming. In those moments, in those, in those intimate moments, it's not coming from a place. Of degradation. Yeah, it's, yeah, I mean all, yeah. Coming from a place of king, it's coming from a place of pleasure and oftentimes it can come from a place of love. Whenever it's something that is like, wow, this really turns me on. This is something I'm really into. Let's practice it together, and you can sit down with somebody and do a. Do you like an improv on it?
Yeah. Be like, Hey, here's some phrases. I want you to say
these phrases, you're some of the words that I'm gonna say. Is there one that you're like, that's a
no. Let's do it. Let's do it over dinner. Can you pass the salt you dirty? Little slu?
Yeah. Here's your water. Come Guler. But no, I think it's a good idea to like kind of create that like checklist, but also maybe normalize it a little bit. Yeah. You know, like you're saying, like I know it's a joke, but to kind of like bring it up in conversations outside of the bedroom might be a way to Yes. Normalize it a little bit and make it not feel like, not taboo, but you know what I mean.
Yeah. Start to practice it. Yeah. I mean, you can and you can do that. And so coming from people, we have kids. Mm-hmm. I can't exactly. Yeah, we do careful walk around, careful the house being like, Hey, little slut, where are you at? Where's my dirty little whore? Where's that
sexy bitch at?
But I can, whenever I'm in the kitchen cooking. Mm-hmm. Or you're doing something around the house, walk up to from behind you and kind of. Whisper into your ear. Mm-hmm. Uh, a dirty phrase, which is really hot, by the way. Yeah. So, I mean, on top of all of that, start making a list. Mm-hmm. And then go over those terms on your list to, to create a yes no, maybe list of dirty talking terms. And I think
it's good to say Like you're saying this is for my pleasure. Yeah. And I brought up her past trauma because that's his biggest deterrent. Mm-hmm. But as soon as she can communicate that enough and say, N no, I, you need to understand that I'm actively wanting this and, and I want this with you, and, and maybe it's. Even about reclaiming that a tiny bit. Yeah. Like this last relationship I was in, he called me a slut because I wore a dress that was too tight.
Yeah. That's not the same thing as like, you coming up behind me and whispering my ear like, you're my little slut in that dress. Yeah. You know what I mean? And, and I think that there's a way to reclaim if you do have some trigger words. Mm-hmm. Anyone you know. Well it's, it's
really cool because that can be part of the healing process as well. Mm-hmm. Uh, you are reclaiming these phrases. You are. Regaining the perspective or shifting your perspective from a place of abuse. Yeah. And from a place of, of insulting and, and violence. Mm-hmm. To a place of kink, to a place of love and connection by reclaiming these
phrases. Yeah. I love that. Okay, so then the second part to this question, and this one I do feel like I gave good advice, but I wanna hear what you say first. She was like, I don't know what to say. Hmm. I'm not creative. She didn't say she wasn't creative, but you know what I mean? She was like, I don't know what phrases to say other than like, yeah, daddy. You know?
Yeah. And even then, maybe if, maybe she feels like a little bit weird saying some of these things.
Exactly. So what advice, like to get someone more acquainted with Dirty Talk?
Yeah. Well, in, in part, I've, I've already given some of the answers. Mm-hmm. So a yes no, maybe list. You can sit down and look up dirty words. Mm-hmm. Like look up phrases in the bedroom and then read each one out loud to yourself. Mm-hmm. And see if you have a res, if you have a response to it, you might read something and go, oh, that's fucking hot Now that's gonna go on my Yes. Yeah. Or read it and go, that's not for me. Yeah. I don't wanna do that one. Put on your no list.
Yeah. So there's, that would be the biggest thing, right? There is a yes no, maybe, and then Go and read some eroica. That's
what I said. Go on the line. I was like, have, when's the last time you read a dirty book? Yeah. You know? And she was like, it's been a while. And I'm like, okay, here you go. Read a dirty book. And I was like, you're gonna hear a phrase or something that you haven't heard before. Mm-hmm. And it's gonna, it's gonna be like, oh yes, I like that. Now I'm gonna use that. Like you said, I'm gonna write this one down.
And I think I even said, and I was like, Go to a damn thesaurus, sit going and you like, even as simple as
thesaurus.com. I need, uh,
And I think I said the example of throbbing, you know what I mean? Like saying you're throbbing cock is a little bit more spicy Yeah. Than like your hard dick. Yeah. Which hard dick sounds good too. Yeah. But it's about like, it's more, it's about
creativity. It is. And not everybody can sit back and be like, all right, I need to think of 30 different ways to say this one phrase. Yeah. But the internet can share as shit. Help you find them. AI can help you. Right? Go on here. You wanna learn how to integrate chat g p t into your, into your sex life. Oh my God. Go on there and say, come up with 30 phrases that involve synonyms for penis. Mm-hmm. That include words. Like throbbing and see what it comes up with. Mm-hmm.
Oh, I'll do that after the show. I wouldn't say like, you report back on
this, you know you're gonna do this. Oh, absolutely. I'm
gonna do this. You are totally gonna do this. If I have, if I have things like chat g p t writing my workouts, I know that's so funny that you do that. Then I think I can have it write some dirty stuff now. Me being a a, a writer in the first place, it's a lot of fun for me to do. Yeah. But it goes back to it's, it's funny. What, what movie? A dead poet society. Yeah. Where Robin Williams is sitting there and he is like, don't say sad, say, arose like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Come up with more interesting ways to say this stuff so you're not in the bedroom being like, you're dick so hard. Mm-hmm. Your pussy feels so wet. I love that. Hard dick. Right? Yeah. So getting, getting a creative with the words that you're using through things like the source or dictionary. Mm-hmm. And then B, working on your tonality and phrasing. Yeah. So it actually sounds. Sexy. Cuz again, if we're in the bedroom and I'm just like, wow, you're so wet. That's one wet pussy. Thank you.
It's like, what was the fucking movie? I know I love doing movie references but Oh, I just came, I just came. I was forgetting Sarah Marshall again. Yeah,
no. Uh, no. That's really good. I like this. Okay. Uh, onto the next one cuz you we did a good time. Our Jesus Christ. Good amount of time on that. All right. Uh, this one is talking about role-playing. Hmm. And, and this is something that I feel like a lot of people can relate to, is when you're role-playing and you're like portraying this character or whatever, I think you're afraid of feeling silly. Everyone is. Yes. Yeah. So I'm dressed up as Harley Quinn. Okay. And I come in the bedroom.
Does it really matter that much if I'm not like a hundred percent in character? Or is it like you look good, like you don't have to overthink it? I think as a woman's perspective, we are gonna overthink it constantly. Yeah. Did I pick the right outfit? Did I say the right things? Right. Is it really that structured on the opposite end of it where you're like, oh, she fucked that up. I'm out of it. I
think, honestly, I think everybody's different. First of all you're not a method actor. Right. So you're not always in character and ev like whenever you're first starting off with roleplaying, everyone feels silly. Yeah. There's nobody that I've, I've ever come across that was like my first time roleplaying. I was a fucking. You know, Broadway actor and just stayed in character and everything went a hundred percent. Perfect.
So step number one there is understanding that you can never, like, you should never take sex too seriously with your partner. Mm-hmm. It's a fun game that you're playing. You're doing this to increase your pleasure and to have fun with it. So whenever you're first initially starting out with roleplaying, Have fun play around, go in and out of character. And it's okay to do that, even if it's just being like phrases in character. Mm-hmm.
Uh, and then of course the partner that is on the receiving end of that. So if you're not, if you're doing role play, but you're not both doing characters. Mm-hmm. Maybe just one of you is doing a character, make sure that if you are the partner that is not involved in the character creation or acting, That you are reassuring your per. Yeah. Your person. Oh my God, you're, you look so fucking sexy. Mm-hmm. I, this is so hot. It's turning me on. Yeah. Cuz those words
of affirmation really help when you're on the other end
of it, you know? I would imagine some, yeah. You want to be told you're doing a good job. Yeah. You want to hear that. Everybody wants to, and it helps build confidence. Mm-hmm. So anytime that you're doing role playing like that, It's okay to feel silly. It is. It is 100% okay to feel silly. It's completely okay to come in and outta character because as you guys do it together more and more and more mm-hmm.
You're going to eventually enter into where you're like, all right, we can do this in character for the entire time and be comfortable with it. Yeah. And
so, uh, I was talking to one of my clients and she was like, I just what's the easiest role playing to do at home? If I wanted to do something tonight, and I was like a stripper. Yeah. That is the easiest one to do because like give your partner a lap dance. Exactly. Like you don't have to have, do you own two items of clothing? Cool. You can now strip, like,
you don't have to go out and buy
anything special that, yeah. It doesn't have to be special. It doesn't have to be anything that you don't need a pole you don't need. Yeah. And you're not like, Doctor come and do. No. Like, that's, that sometimes can be a little bit harder. Yeah. Put on some music. So that
actually makes it really good. So let, let's, let's do this. Mm-hmm. Let we, we could probably give off the top of our head we, critical thinking exercises. Oh no, we're getting better at 'em. Yeah. Some really good cost effective role playing things that couples can do in the bedroom. So you're first is stripper?
Yeah, stripper is literally the easiest.
Okay. Well I'm gonna keep it right along those lines. And I'm gonna say sex worker. Yeah. One of you can pretend to be the hired sex worker, even if it involves you, like going outside and ringing the doorbell. Mm-hmm. Like get a little bit dressed up. You have nice clothing and all that. Yeah. Get, and that's a really fun thing you can do at home. Put a bunch of makeup, like get all made up. Yeah. Put a fancy, get dress on actor. Oh yeah.
And then come and ring the doorbell and, you know, you, you get to act as the sex worker and the other person gets to act as the John.
Yeah. Okay, so sex worker. Yeah, I do think that would be really easy. Then kind of keeping along with that same theme, but this one's gonna take a little bit more creativity, but still easy. Mm-hmm. Would be like you coming to fix my AC unit. Right. You know what I mean? Like the classic porno. Exactly. I feel so classic, man. The plumber. It's so easy. Yeah. You show up to my house. And then you can do the tiniest bit of role playing.
Oh no, I don't have a way to pay you. Yeah,
exactly. Oh, I can't get the AC unit to work. And then you're like, I turned it on, ma'am. And I'm like, oh, it's so silly of me.
It can be something where you sit back and you just answer like if you wanna go with the AC route, Uhhuh, answer the door in like booty shorts. And I was really, really. It's so hot in here. Exactly. It's all been broken and I've just, Ugh, I'm just sweating so much. Thank you for fixing it for me. Oh no. I don't have any money on me. How maybe we can come up with something else. Exactly. And that can be an easy way to turn each other on. Mm-hmm. And to have fun with it.
And again, coming in and outta the role and like in and outta character
throughout. Yeah, exactly. Like it doesn't. Have to be this like big, big, don't get me wrong, it can be really fun when it is too. Yeah. But if it's something where you're trying to start small. Mm-hmm. That's why I love the stripper concept to start small. You don't really have to pretend to be anything different. Yeah. You're just dancing, you're just taking your clothes off. It's a fun way. And then you can move to maybe a little bit more of the role playing concept. Mm-hmm.
Like my AC unit is broke, and then you can move to the further ones where it's like student and teacher and then you can actually have a scene out there. Yeah. Where I'm going to be the teacher and you're gonna write something out. Mm-hmm. Almost like a fricking lesson plan. Give yourself a few minutes of the day, write something out, and then get onto them. Cuz they're not paying attention enough in class. Yeah. And so that you have to spank them or and then you could be the students.
Which I would love to be the student and just sit, there'd be a fucking brat to you the whole
time. And, and those, you make it about detention. Right? Exactly. And those scenes can all be planned in advance. That's one of the most important things to understand about a lot of this, is that even when you're doing these simplistic things, you can plan them in advance. Mm-hmm. As much. And we almost,
or a little strongly encourage it. Yeah. And like strongly, strongly encourage it. Yeah. Because then you can sit down and plan out like what you want to be done. You can negotiate those scenes. You can be like, You know, say Casey, uh, I wanna be the teacher and I wanna smack you with a ruler. Yeah. And I'm like, Ugh. Maybe not. Or like, maybe I wanna smack your breasts on the ruler. And I'm like, maybe not my breasts. Maybe my butt.
Yeah. So then you can go into the scene and know your limitations Absolutely. And know what you want. And in this scene, I know that Casey wants me to blow him under the desk. Mm-hmm. So I'm gonna make sure that I put that scene Yeah. In there for him through the role playing and through everything that we're
trying to achieve. Yeah. So you can do a big discussion about things that y'all would like to happen, and especially. So another easy one, a massage therapist. Oh, you can be like, so easy. Oh, you're, you're, you're showing up to the guy's business. Yep. Or how or home to do an in-home massage with a happy ending. Mm-hmm. And y'all can discuss beforehand everything y'all might like to do. Absolutely. And how it might play out and have fun with it.
That is your opportunity to get a little more creative. Mm-hmm. And then of course, as you're doing it more and more, you can start having more complex scene work. Exactly. That leads to a whole. New world of kink.
Okay. So, this next one actually goes pretty similar to what we were talking about on our last episode about masturbation. Mm-hmm. And about nipple play. Okay. So we did get a comment from, we did, uh, a viewer. That after she listened to the episode, she immediately sent me a message and was like, I can stimulate my nipples and come, you know, and I was like, congratulations. That's so cool.
You were one of the very, very tiny percentage of women that can have an orgasm through nipple stimulation. Yeah. So, yes. Congratulations.
But then this question was If my breasts are small, do I receive less, uh, pleasure than if I had really big breasts?
So, all right, good. I love this cuz this is actually an, an anatomy question. Yeah. So me being a doctor, I know when I saw
this I was like, doctor, question that is literally perfect for, for
you. So, so every, everybody's different. Uh, understand that breast size is not going to be. A valid factor in sensitivity. There are people that do have more sensitive breasts, who have bigger breasts. Mm-hmm. More sensitive breasts with smaller breasts. So the size isn't gonna be a big thing. It's going to be how sensitive are the nerve endings, uh, that is actually in the breast tissue itself. So how active are they? How many nerve endings there are, which can vary from person to person.
It's not an exact on every single person. So no, there's not gonna be a big change of, well, I have bigger breasts, therefore there's less or more sensitivity. Mm-hmm. It's more about what are you, what are your, yeah, personal.
So as I mean, know, this might be a silly question, but like for you mm-hmm. Does it change anything for you? You've been with women with like all different sizes. Mm-hmm. I know this is literally just a preference. I'm literally just. Most people know I have huge tits. Is this like a disclaimer? No, I'm just saying I think most people know I have huge tits. But as on your side of it, has there always, has there ever been a preference for your
pleasure? No, for my own pleasure there's, there has not been a preference. Yes, I can. So this, I'm kind of the same way.
That's why I was curious cuz I was like, I, it doesn't really matter to me. Yeah. But I was curious but we're also,
we're you and I are also very similar in that we can find good in like anything. Yeah. So it doesn't matter if someone comes around that's like a petite with small breasts mm-hmm. Or somebody that's thicker with larger breasts. I can find the good in all of it, in some, in some
way, shape or something. You have to have an ass. No, I'm kidding. All right, so that was good. Uh, we're gonna go to the next question and it is about a fetish, so love it. I, how can I convince my husband to pee on me? Okay.
So, first off, let's talk about kink versus fetish, cuz we know we have that, right? Yes. That if that fetish would be that this, that this woman uhhuh cannot, cannot be aroused or Yes. Unless she's peed. Unless there's some sort of like water sports mm-hmm. Play going on, then that would be fetish. Yes. In the realm of fetish. Yes. This is more in the realm of kink. And it's com a completely Okay. Kink to have if you want to convince him to, if you have had the conversation mm-hmm.
And he's completely grossed out and it's entirely on his no list, then sorry. You're likely not going to venture down that avenue. However, if he's open to the idea of it and like maybe we can figure something out. Start in the shower. Yeah. Like have him do it in the shower. Yeah. And be like, Hey, listen. We're both in here, we're in a clean environment. Be on me in the shower. Yeah. And then we'll go from there. He might see it's,
it's the complete opposite for us. We're like, you get outside, you do not be in the shower. But no, it's just, I think it's interesting would you would. Would it ever bother you if I came to you with something like that? Like this is a fetish or whatever. This is an idea that I have. I think that part of her question was like, I'm afraid to bring it up. Right. You know? And that, and
that's So many people are, are like that. Yeah. Especially early on in like having these discussions with something that maybe is considered more of a taboo or more con. Uh, more of a, you know, on the heavier side of kink. And for a lot of society, you know, water sports is something that they're like, whoa. Yeah. And it's been seen as, as disgusting and immoral and a lot of this stuff. But the reality is, is that everybody has their own kinks. Mm-hmm.
So the first thing you have to do is, we're gonna keep going back to it, you have to create that comfort. Yeah. And you can go to your husband and say, Hey, listen, I have some sexual desires. Uh, that I would like to discuss with you. Some of them may are, are gonna likely fall a little outside of our, your comfort zone. Mm-hmm. Are you okay with having this discussion? Are you open to having this discussion, create that environment?
Yeah, I have some and it may really, really driving it home with like, these are some things that I would like to do for my pleasure. Mm-hmm. And again, some of 'em are, A little outside of what we might consider in quote normal. Yeah. Or would you be comfortable with having this conversation with me? And
then I think after you have that conversation, then you can also go into negotiation towards that topic. Yeah. If he's an absolute n. Okay, could y'all heat up some water with some fucking yellow food dye? You know what I mean? Is there, are there ways, can we create some food that you can create or, or like make it kind of like role play into this, fetish that you can bite it online. Yeah.
So true. And, and actuality you can bite at a sex shop. Remember whenever we did that? So yeah,
we were, I was like,
what the fuck is that? We were at the sex shop, what, a couple weeks ago. We were walking through and they had this. Small little section behind a glass counter, and it was like a water sports section. I was like, okay, I, I've never seen this in a sex shop before. I asked, I asked our friend behind the counter mm-hmm. Who's always super nice to us and a super cool guy, and, uh, asked him, I was like, what is this?
He goes, oh, this is for people that are looking to get into water sports but don't really wanna actually do it. So it is a, like a fake penis with a bladder. That you can fill up. Mm-hmm. And you can use to be like, it's like it's watershed. It's like you're being peed on. So if you, man, you bring up water sports a lot.
I guess I did bring this up.
I'm realizing this is way, I'm gonna go back and listen to our episodes. I feel like you've brought it up a number of times before. This is not
me telling you that I want this. I'm just kind of preface
with that. Oh, what Your kinks are. Your kinks. They are, they're okay. There's nothing. As long as you're not harming, harming, like actually causing harm to yourself or others. Non-consensual, of course. Yeah. That, that should not be able to be on the table on some level. Yeah. So creating the comfort and then discussing it, and if it is a automatic hard line no. For your partner mm-hmm. Maybe y'all can come up with some sort of compromise and a way for you to experience this fantasy.
Without fully diving in. Okay, cool.
I like that one. All right. I honestly think that you have talked about this before, but I don't think it's gonna hurt. Mm-hmm. To talk about it again. Uh, no pun intended. How can I get my husband off my cl He is so rough. It hurts. I don't wanna hurt his feelings, but it's just too
much. Oh my God. Just say it right, like fucking hard line. Like, whoa, buddy. Hard line it and say, Hey, listen, I, I appreciate what you're trying to do for me. I have a sensitive cl. Mm-hmm. And what you're doing is not actually causing me pleasure. Mm-hmm. It really just kind of hurts. So
then what advice would you maybe give to someone listening that's like, uh, I don't wanna hurt it. But I am like, what type of pressure? What? Maybe any like suggestions or just fucking ease up,
hey, well, hey. Yeah. Ease up. Right. Talk with your partner, like mm-hmm. Talk like I would succumb to you and say, Hey, will you show me how you touch yourself? Mm-hmm. Or would you like put your hand on top of mine? Mm-hmm. So I'm not pushing too hard. And would you kind of guide me around a little bit? I wanna know what feels good to you. Mm-hmm. So I can help to create something that feels good. We have this.
Weird fucked up misconception that the partner's just automatically supposed to be able to give you an orgasm every time. And it's it's almost an ego thing where it's like, no, I need to be able to go into the bedroom and just, I know exactly what you want and I'm gonna do it and it's gonna be great and you're gonna have a mind blowing orgasm. Yeah. That's not how pleasure works.
Or on the opposite end of it I'm gonna hurt your feelings if I tell you to loosen up a little bit. Yeah. When. That's silly. It shouldn't hurt. And if it does hurt their feelings, then y'all need to stop and have a conversation, because that's a
about how about how y'all can communicate these things? Yeah. Like
communicate a little bit better. But so yeah. I, I think that my advice would be similar to what you said is, is just show them, Hey, hey, ease up a little bit. Hey, try this. Try this instead. Yeah. And, and if it's met with aggression or ah, then, then y'all need to have a separate conversation. Yeah. And, and y'all need to communicate about what it is that you like and what you want to have done to your body. Mm-hmm.
And if it is being a little too rough and you're communicating that, quit staring at my tits. If you are communicating that. Anyways, if you're communicating the point Yeah. Then, uh, yeah, just tell 'em to ease up. Yes. You've told me to ease up on you before. Yeah, for sure. That's fine. Yeah. Oh, yes. Sometimes we get excited on the other end, you know,
so sometimes you get a kung fu grip and it has to be like, Hey, like I got a strong hands. If that, that feels good, please loosen up your grip. Or Yeah. Hey, that's kind of hurting a little bit. Mm-hmm. It's, it's literally okay to have the conversation. Yes. And yeah, I, I love what you're saying about kind of the ego thing. If. If as you do communicate to your partner that what they're doing is not feeling good mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And they, that triggers them and gets them upset, maybe I should have a little bit deeper conversation about how to communicate pleasure Yeah. In the bedroom. And not getting your feelings hurt if something you say is taken as Yeah, like, I, I, I just, it's hard for me to see that at this point, at this point in our lives, I'm like, I would want to be told if something I'm doing Yeah. Doesn't feel good.
I don't want you to sit back and fake orgasm or pretend that it feels good, or just like shut down. I was gonna say that
feels immature. Act like I felt like when I was in high school and I would tell a boy like, Hey, whoa. And they'd be like, ah. But I just, they were. We were kids, you know what I mean? Yeah. Uh, but if I was an adult to have that response, then yeah, there needs to be a conversation that's mm-hmm. Not the healthiest way. Right. Okay. Well, we are going to go ahead and end these questions out.
Well actually one, one more that I want to answer is one that you can find on our Instagram. We did, we did what? Uh, we did an answer to a little while back, probably, probably a week or two ago. Mm-hmm. This one was over masturbation. It is masturbation May. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And we had just done, we had just aired our episode about masturbation May, and we got a listener. Mm-hmm. Email us saying that she wanted to hear a little bit more about masturbation positions. Uh, okay.
She said that she had. Issue or difficulty orgasming from masturbating while lying on her back. Mm-hmm. Uh, and she was so, she was hoping that maybe we could shed some insight. Yeah. Gives more on how to decisions. Yeah. Okay. And so, like, let's get over a couple of them cuz you and I actually had a fun conversation about different ways to do this.
Yeah. I, and I do love that people are like, messaging us and asking us these things because if you can't like, figure it out, like, Freaking ask someone. Yeah. And like we can help. I think the one that I had suggested, cuz you came downstairs and you were like, Hey, masturbation positions. I was like, uh, standing with the shower head. Yes. And you were like, I didn't put that one down yet. So it was good. Like it actually really worked out. And then that was something that.
You know, I had experienced a few days ago and so we ended up like bringing it up, but it's a good way to, if, if lying down just doesn't quite work for you, get in the shower. Yeah. Same
thing with like digit stimulation. Mm-hmm. So if you're, if you're using your hands and you're like, it's just not working for me, I mean, you can switch it up and you can try water. Mm-hmm. Like that. Especially if you have a shower head that has like a massager or pulsates or anything. Use that. Yeah. Try it. If you're somebody that is more sensitive. On your vulva and you start to use like something like water, you might be pleasantly surprised with how well it can work
for you. Yeah. I mean I was truthfully,
I know I like immediately got a text message. Don't tell that part. No. Guess what I did?
Yeah, you did. It was masturbation. May I have to, I have to honor it. Explore a little bit. Let's see. And then what was the other one then? That was actually the one that you
suggested where The one that I suggested on there, one of the big ones I suggested was, Uh, change to your stomach, uhhuh and pull, like kinda lift your hips off. We actually
talked
about this on the last episode. Yes. The masturbation episode Yes. Was being on your stomach. Yep.
And like put a pillow mm-hmm. Underneath your pelvis. So kind of like lift yourself up a little bit, put a pillow under there so you're nice and relaxed. And then you can reach a hand through and in between your legs and use that for stimulation. Mm-hmm. Or a vibrator. To, to, to stimulate understand that one of the big ones that we get from people is, well, I tried, I'm trying to use this toy and I'm doing penetration penetrative methods. Mm-hmm.
Whenever we're like, that's probably not the best idea, if you can come from penetration. Fuck yeah. Awesome. Amazing. Great for you. Uh, most women cannot, yeah. Uh, from penetration alone at least. Mm-hmm. So learn how to stimulate the outside of that vulva by using your hand or using a toy. So laying on your stomach can actually change the angle and it can create that pressure Yeah. On the front of the pelvis. So if, whenever you. You have your palm of your hand mm-hmm.
On your, around your pubic area, you're now creating a little bit more pressure onto the forward or anterior side of your, uh, of your vagina. Mm-hmm. And so now doing that, combined with that stimulation can help increase, remember their whole point purpose that you're doing this. We're trying to increase the blood flow. Yeah. And get some stimulation of those nerve endings so you can get closer to orgasm. Yes.
And then finally the last one that there's plenty more we can talk about. There are, I know, but I just, I'm trying to think about the posts that we're creating.
You want me to do the, we could do the, the one that I said, which was squatting. Yeah,
I was about to say, can you go get over here and demo this for us?
No. This is one that I actually don't hear a lot about, but it, to me, it makes sense. Mm-hmm. I would love to get some feedback from zul owners who do try this, cuz you're told you can do it in like a seated position on a chair. Mm-hmm. I'm suggesting that you do it in a squatted position, like against a wall. Up against the wall. Yeah. So if you, if anybody does yoga and you do like a yoga squat mm-hmm. You get your feet flat on the floor, you drop your butt all the way to the ground, do that.
So get into a squatted position mm-hmm. And then like kinda lean against the wall and use that. And
just like in yoga, you can put a block under
your butt There. You now you can put something to sit on like a small
store or something like, like that. But you demoed it. For me, I did because at first I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Then you demoed it and I'm like, oh shit. Yeah, that might have to be a really good way. Yeah, like I kind of wanna masturbate like that now. I would love to watch that and then I want you to use a toy on me deal. I'm the both Those things can happen if you're going right and, but if you're going, if you do like to do self. Stimulation or penetration. Mm-hmm.
That would be an amazing position
to be in. It. It would. So if you think about like the biomechanics of it, how you're squatted down like that. So this is gonna be a, a weird correlation, but if you think about how they have, like the squatty potty. Mm-hmm. Yeah. How it put, how it kind of puts everything into a relaxed state, tilts your pelvis sum. Mm-hmm. So you're essentially doing the same kind of position.
So that can actually be hugely beneficial for you for stimulation if you're getting that area into a very relaxed state. Mm-hmm. And primed for you to stimulate, to help increase blood flow. You get in that squat position and then you can stimulate yourself through. I think it would feel
really, your penetra or whatever you want feel real similar to you riding a guy on top. I bet it would. I think that's the sensation that you would get from if you want to add it. And then you can just do that yourself. Exactly. We, we don't even need a man. I
was kidding. You can, you can do a couple of things. You can add in a toy for like more forward penetration. You can get like a suction cup. Yep. A suction cup dildo that you actually squat down onto. Mm-hmm. And, and kind of grind on it, or just like imitate that or write it like that and then stimulate yourself as well with your hand or with a vibrator. Mm-hmm. But that's, that to me, I was like, that one seems really good. It would also be a decent, you know, little workout for me. Right.
Sustained. And, and I like the chair. I, the chair I. One that I don't really do, but one I was interested in would be doing that in front of a mirror. Yeah. Like masturbating, seeing yourself masturbate. Yeah. Like I wonder if that can also elevate people that are visual. Mm-hmm. Like your body's sexy, use your own body as you're like
visual. You're having sex in yourself, so, yeah. You know, maybe enjoy it. And we've already said this, is that everyone at some point should masturbate in front of a mirror. Yeah. Yeah, you might feel uncomfortable the first time you do it, but everybody on some level should masturbate in front of a mirror. Yes. It helps you learn more about yourself, what you like. Yeah.
Especially like laying down. You're just not gonna see Yeah. You don't see anything. So it's really good for feel, but again, if you're like visual at all, or just you need to explore yourself. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You, you need to see
it. There you go. So those are a few ways that we, we were able to answer that question. Anything else that you add you wanna add into this?
No. I think that this has been a, a great episode.
You don't want to, you don't wanna talk a little bit more about our plans for our, our only Fann stuff.
Between me and you? Yeah, yeah. Uh, we can talk about it again. We, well, less,
less again, and more of the, the, the pivot that we're gonna go through for our sex education. Well, we do have to hurry.
We have an interview coming up, so we do. That's that's fine. I'm just saying we got another interview. We,
we are gonna be doing what we are calling, uh, sex explicit education. Yeah. So essentially this is going to be good visuals mm-hmm. Of very good visuals of how these acts play out. Yeah. So we're gonna create something that is going to be like a classroom time for everybody that you'll be able to, to access mm-hmm. Through our only fans. Yeah. With come with Casey. So make sure that you're on there. Make sure that at the ti at the time comes, you can, it's gonna be a free subscription.
Yeah. So you'll be good there. You'll just have to, and it's just, you will have a paywall for access to each of our educational
videos. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's just gonna be a place for us to put more education on a platform that's not gonna ban it. Yes. That's probably the biggest thing that we are struggling with now, even on TikTok on Instagram we have content that we wanna give y'all that we don't want to be censored. Mm-hmm. So we are switching over, not fully, but you'll start to see a different version of us on that platform. Great. So give us a follow at, uh, come with kc. Absolutely. Uh, our free only fans
and, and for anybody else wanting to submit your questions. We will continue to answer as many as we can. It might be one a show, it might be two or we'll do an entire episode. Yeah. But you can email us. Come with KC gmail.com. You can DN dms at, come with KC on all social
platforms. Yes. And then. We can should we announce our coaching?
Yes. So we were supposed to do this. I know less. I just thought about it. If you've been listening to us and you've been hearing our stuff and you're going, man, this is something I really want to try. Mm-hmm. But I don't know how to take these steps and I really feel like I need some, something more. A little bit more engagement. A little bit more interaction. We are now introducing our coaching calls. Yep. So you can get on a phone call with us.
You can walk us through exactly what you're dealing with. In terms of your relationship or coming into the world of kink. Mm-hmm. And we will listen, we will provide you with detailed instructions on how you can overcome some of these obstacles. Yep. And we'll, can you
advise, point you in the right direction, get you connected with people like we, we are understanding this industry very well and we wanna be able to help you. Yes. Like if you, if you're looking, if you're a couple and you wanna be open and you wanna talk to us in a little bit more of a personal experience like, This is what we're doing this for. We, we are wanting to help y'all. We are wanting to, to guide you in the best way possible. Okay?
And so we're gonna start offering coaching where you can do a coaching call with Casey. You can do one with me or you can have us together at the same time. So absolutely.
So make sure you send that email over to come with casey gmail.com. when the subject line, just put coaching. Yep. All right. Absolutely. So for another episode to come with Casey, I'm Dr. Casey
Sanders. And I'm Carrie Sanders. Bye bye.