Why Hello? And I'm doing this intro because I never Yeah, go for it. Never do intros. Uh, and welcome to another episode of Come With Casey. I am your co-host Carrie Sanders, with my sexy ass. Husband,
Dr. Casey Sanders, and that's why you never do intros. A
hundred percent. Yeah. No, I don't really like leading it off. Like I just, I'd rather like you take control of that aspect and let me just fill in the gaps with just like how funny I am. You know, you, you're a gap filler. I'm a gap filler. Massive gap filler. Okay. Small gap filler, multiple gap fillers. Yeah, I'm just, I'm whatever I need to be. Okay, sure. So, sure. Um, this episode we're kind of like diving into a little bit more of what we have going on, what we have planned.
Um, and this is what may
we're, may we kicked? We officially kicked off May. May Masturbation. May masturbation
May Thank you. I was waiting for that. Which spoiler alert,
that is Uhhuh kind of what our episode's about today. It is. But we'll
get there. Yeah. We will a hundred percent get there. We have a lot of other, uh, uh, other topics that we wanted to discuss before. Before we dive into that, um, the first one that I wanna discuss with you was something that we did, what was it, last weekend?
Yeah. For our first time ever, both of us. And the first, which is weird because, and we've never done this, neither of us have ever done this, ever As weird of people as we are and kind of like, especially, you know, you my, my nerdy nature. Yeah. We have never, ever, neither of us have ever been to a renaissance Fair. And it was so much fun and we went to a Renaissance fair past week and very first time a friend of ours, she invited us out. Mm-hmm.
She said that she had a couple tickets for us, and not only that, but it was live Your Fantasy Weekend, which kind so flows with us and everything we stand for. Yeah. So we talked about it. It was, we had like 24 hours of advanced notice and said, let's fuck it. Let's do it. Yeah. So
something that like some of you may know about me, but most don't, is I'm obsessed with dressing up. And I have so many random like outfits, snacks, and outfits and, and things that I can throw together to kind of become any character I want. Yeah, that's true. However, I'm luckily enough to also have very creative friends.
I. Yes. And artistic friends and people that know what the fuck they're
doing. Yeah. So if you give me a bunch of shit that you make, I can't make it, but I can throw it together and make a really badass outfit. You're like the MacGyver of clothing. I, I am. As long as I don't have to create it, but I'll throw some shit. Together. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. So, okay. I get it. You know who MacGyver is? I, I thank you. Yes, I am. I'm up to speed. Okay.
Um, I'm just, I'm just always
check, do a check real quick. Takes like the, the tools that he has and makes 'em magnificent. Like I get it. Okay. I understand the reference. I appreciate that. Um, but I'm wearing these like, Tall ass fucking wings.
Yeah. Okay. So those were really, really cool. A friend of ours had amazing, made aluminum based Yeah. Fairy wings. Mm-hmm. And had stretched some material across them.
I, I think she said she used, um, just like a pantyhose. She did great. Yeah. She did a good job. And everywhere that we went, everyone was like, Oh my God, those amazing. And, and like clearly I wasn't gonna take the credit for making these, so everyone would just kept asking. I'm like, they're handmade.
We, we were stops so many fucking times. Yeah. And not
because I'm hot, but because it's the wings. Totally. Not because my breasts were like popping. It was cuz of the wings.
Yeah. Yeah. We had the three of us that were out there. Mm-hmm Now it was because there was just like, two happened to be attractive ladies walking around. Walking around. We were stopped by fucking everybody. But it also brought up a conversation with us cuz you looked at me and you were like, how does it feel to be a guy out here? It
has to suck. Well because like, even like photographers are walking up and they're taking pictures of, of, uh, me and, and, and the girl that we were with and. Casey's just like, do, did
you know, you know the scene, uh, what movie was it? Um, forgetting Sarah Marshall, where he's remembering back whenever he was with her. Oh yeah. And they like walk the red carpet and someone's like, gigantic tour. Get out of the picture. Get out of the frame. Yeah. That was me.
You were, you Areour. But that, but
that is, I mean that's a, that is a good point to me is that in the, the culture that we currently reside in is that you get the attractive females. Mm-hmm. And that's where the attention naturally. Dives too. I
mean,
I like to look at attractive females. I know you too. So I'm, I'm not like mad about it, like I get it.
I don't think either of us are
upset about that, but No, it was, it was a really good time and I, and I very much enjoyed it. Um, and we were kind of there for the whole evening. We got to see the closing ceremonies. Yeah. I didn't know they had these, I dunno those a thing.
We were there for like six hours. We, yeah, we were there for a while. We were there for a good long while. We saw a ton of shit. It was cool. Saw a bunch of performances. We saw a dirty poet. We did. We did. It was the very last thing we did. Yeah. We sat down at this bar area and listened to this guy tell jokes about, and poems about testicles. Mm-hmm. And vaginas and horrors. I
mean, honestly, it, it was a lot of fun. It's not what I expected, but I guess going into something like that, you don't really have like expectations. Exactly.
No. This guy took, he had a book of poetry that mm-hmm. He had written,
he, he had written That's I'm like,
maybe he, maybe he had written it. Kinda hard to tell. I think he had, and he was, he passed em around and he was like, all right, each person, you know, go through and pick out one. Yeah. He'd pass
on these like journals, you know, and he was like, find a poem out of there. Find a poem. And he, he was a
great performer. He, he did a very good job with it. Mm-hmm. But he would pick a one up and people would say, this is the one I picked out. He would go, oh, okay. This is great. So it would be something about uh, the dirty horror in town? Yeah. Or about like, Two different testicles talking to each other, or about
some of 'em. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't get, and I think it was also just from the experience of everyone hanging out and everyone laughing and like, yeah. The, like he did a great job, um, performing. He did a fan, a phenomenal job. Yeah. But yeah, some of the poems, I was like,
what? I know, I feel like we should be right right now. Plugging his stuff and I can't remember his name.
It'll be in the show notes after we stalk him online. It'll be in the show notes, but it so
fits with everything that we're doing. Yeah. And I'm sure that he would be super happy to know that we're out here talking about him. Mm-hmm. Green some something or other. I'm gonna
find it. We'll find it while you say it. It'll be in the show notes. Don't even worry about it. So, I mean, other than us going to the Renaissance Fair, which is a lot of fun, and I've like vastly enjoyed that, um, I feel like. There is, and Casey doesn't know I'm doing this. I feel like there is an idea or a concept that we wanna share with y'all, even though knowing that it's not fully ready yet. Come on. It's our, it's our only fans. The poetry of Arthur Greenleaf Holmes.
Of course you find him that fast. Oh, I can say one sentence and you already have him found it is, go ahead. Who
is it? Arthur. It's Arthur Greenleaf Holmes. Okay. You can find him online. Mm-hmm. I'm sure under the same name. Just go on it. You'll find as YouTube. Yeah. The guy, like it was, I thought it was really funny poetry and I love poetry. Mm-hmm. And so to hear some of the stuff that he had written and the way that he does it, some of the metaphors that he uses and the way that he does this out was really cool. I needed to get that out there. It would've fucking driven me crazy.
No, I know that. And I'm glad that you found it. And in all honesty, like I'm still waiting for you to explain some of the poetry Tree me. Because I was like, what the fuck is this dude
saying? Well, it was like the last poet poem that he did where I was like, oh yeah, I know. And you were like,
oh, it's so dirty. And I'm like, what, what is, what's happening? It's good. It was about necrophilia. I, and maybe that's why I didn't get it. And I'm also not active. I'm not an active listener. I will be very, very honest. So if you don't actively listen to a poem like that, it, it doesn't matter how well he like delivered it. But I know you were listening. I only heard like five words. That's cuz
you are only listening to the limericks.
Maybe. Maybe. Is that like the one and three things? That's the, is it totally, yeah. Um, now it, but anyways, we, we are creating an only fans and we are, we, we are. And, and I'm gonna tell you why because
on, let me
explain myself because on all of the sites that we're on right now, it doesn't matter if it's Facebook, it doesn't matter if it's Instagram, it doesn't matter if it's YouTube. They are still heavily. Guarded heavily like censored, censored sight. What we wanna be able to bring to y'all is something that we can't bring into an Instagram platform. That does not mean that you're gonna see us fucking each other and do all this stuff. No, our platform, we'll just go ahead and be bold. I love it.
I will be. Our platform on only fans is going to be geared towards. Education. Yeah. We are going to be able to have two aspects to it. One being visual aid to things that we're trying to teach you like today with masturbation. Yes.
Does that mean we're gonna
masturbate on camera? No. No, and but it just means that we're going to be able to say things more explicit if we do have videos. Um, we're, we know that they're not gonna be taken down. We've already dealt with that with TikTok, we've dealt with that with
Instagram, like we've dealt with everything saying, Hey, you can't do that. This girl over here can like shake her ass and show shadows of her pussy lips online. Sorry, hundred percent crass. But God forbid, God forbid, you guys talk about like communication in a relationship and talk about using that for mutual masturbation.
Yeah. So, um, we will obviously. Continue the podcast, but we do want y'all to eventually follow us on only fans. Yes. There will be, uh, a subscription fee because of course there there's going to
be, not only does that support the show and allows us to continue making this content, but it allows us deliver you guys better content. Mm-hmm. And whenever we have this interaction where you can start giving us the topics that you are more interested in. Mm-hmm. Hey, listen, I had a, a huge question about. Like what toys should I be introducing myself to first? Yeah. Or how do I pick out that in the first place?
Or if I'm a guy and I'm interested in masturbating with something outside my hand, what are some options that I have? Mm-hmm. So all this stuff allows us to become a little, like, go a little bit deeper, take the next. Layer of it and give it to you in a way that is easily digestible. Mm-hmm. And super beneficial for you.
And then again, just allowing us to, to be able to do it because I, again, I get feedback all the time, um, for people that I work with or that listen to the show. And they, and, and y'all want more. And, and we love it and we super appreciate it, but we're not gonna be able to do that in the platform that we're in. So we're just gonna gravitate over towards only fans. You're still gonna see us on all the other platforms. Oh yeah. Our audio podcast. We're podcast giving Be available.
Yeah. Like we're not using YouTube up on that podcast.
Still available. It's,
but we just have this like massive desire to help people. Um, further than what these limitations will allow us. So let me clarify
it for one step further. Sure. For all the people that send us questions that were like, we would be, would be censored if we answered this particular question. Yes. We're gonna put all that stuff there.
Yeah. So you might even see individual content on our only fans that's gonna look just like this. We're sitting in front of a mic, we're talking, but we're gonna a, we're gonna be able to make it a little bit more past red at r
Can we get like a live model?
Absolutely we can we have this person, like a real life person. Yes. Yes. Can we just do that every night? If you wanna apply for that position, can we just have a live model every single night in our
bedroom? Come come with casey gmail.com. Yeah. Yep. Um, and let us to apply
for this position. No, please. You'll
get a, you'll get a percentage of the tape. Yeah, totally.
On everything. Absolutely. You'll. But anyways, so yeah, so that's kind of like what we have going, um, or what we're gonna be bringing to y'all. We already have the size. Let's bring that end. We already have it, so if you wanna follow us, come with Casey. Um, you can follow us. Right now we have not posed content yet because we are actively building that content and then we're gonna do a content dump. And right now
subscription's free. Is that what you're,
and right now his subscription is free. So fucking get in before uh, we start charging you out the ass. No, we're really not. I'm just kidding. No, we keep, no, we're really not. This is for y'all. We don't, yes. It's like a side project to, to bring in like income cuz we all work for a living or we're not working for free. But this isn't, The purpose of that is to gain an income. This is the purpose. To give you the content that you want without it being censored. Yeah.
We have to have fuel for our podcast. Yeah. We have to have fuel for all of our content to, so we gotta get it from somewhere. Yeah.
So the next thing that we also wanna tell y'all is we have a lot of fucking amazing guests coming up. Very important guest for
this show. We just talked about this, is that we have like, we have 10 weeks worth
of interviews. It's crazy. I love how quickly we put it out in the universe and saying, Hey, we wanna do these interviews. And people are just like coming at us hard all the time and it's just so helpful. No, they're coming hard everywhere. They're and all over us. And so, um, part of, one of the things that we're gonna bring to y'all is, Uh, y'all had heard an episode before Yeah. Where we talked about shibari, but that was like, kind of like the history of it. That was the,
that was more the philosophy. Yeah. Thank you. Of shibari more of the state of mind and all this. We wanted to talk, um, technicalities. Mm-hmm. So we have a friend of ours coming on the show Yeah. In the next probably few weeks. Yeah. Uh, to talk about more of some of the how-tos of shibari. We even get some really, really good ways where you can participate in binding or, mm-hmm. Yeah. Without using a rope in the first place. Yes. Or with using simple household items. Mm-hmm.
So you can practice on this kinda stuff or get into this kind of stuff without ever having to drop a dime. Yeah. At the
store. So not only do we have someone that actively, um, Performs shibari and
really, really intricate and awesome artwork by the way. Yeah. With what he
does. I'm very excited about his interview. Yeah. Um, and but not only that, but then we have the receiving end of it. We have someone that's gonna come on Yep. That has received Yes. The. Uh, tie ups, the ChAARI, the, the whole. So it is, it's a mindset. It is a beautiful, yes, they would be considered a rope bottom. Thank you. Thank you. Uh, a rope bottom, um, or rope bunny,
or any fucking, there's a lot of terms
we go overall and, and we will go over the terminology within that episode, but so not only do we have a rope topper being the one, um, tying the ropes into, or a rigger, a bottom or a rigger thank you. Or a rope bottom that's gonna be like on the receiving end, but, Also on the suspension. So a lot of things that you see when it's ChAARI or things that I've seen is they like put individuals into this tie. You're getting too far into the episode at this point. I'm not. I'm so fast.
And And then they suspend them in. No, not our episode, the run saari. So that I know, I know what you meant. Put
spoiling things.
Quit. I know what she meant. Quit fucking spoiling. Yes. That was me hissing on him. I hiss at him a lot. I think that's the first time I've done that in the, in an episode though. I think it is too. But anyways, so we, we have a lot coming, uh, for y'all. And not only that, but we have someone that's gonna be talking about um, healing. Okay.
So yeah, go into this a little bit. Uh, yeah, I would love to take on for this one. So one of the things that we do want to get into on this show is the why behind a lot of things. Um, this specific episode and that you can already notice, I'm like getting a little bit more serious to you. Are your, your
voice changed. But it is serious. It's necessary. Yeah, it's serious. And that's why you're talking
about it. Right? And there will be a trigger warning before this episode as well, because we're gonna talk about reclaiming sexuality after a sexual trauma. Yeah. Um, this one's going to be a very. A very intense episode. This going
to be deep but necessary.
Yes. A very deep but necessary episode and we're, we're excited about it. Despite the tone of my voice, I'm just trying to convey some seriousness behind the actual subject. Mm-hmm. But we also wanna say about that is just how much. Reclaiming your sexuality post sexual trauma can be empowering. Yeah. Um, given it's a good thing, you know, given things like time. Mm-hmm. Yes.
A hundred percent. And healing.
And so we're, yeah. So we're gonna have a sexual therapist on who's gonna talk about how you can reclaim your sexuality, post sexual trauma and what that looks like. Yeah. Almost like a step by step. So we're, we're very excited for that episode as well.
And then we're not gonna give away any of the indi or the companies that we're working with, but we are already in talks with a few different companies that are gonna start working very closely with us and this podcast. So, I mean, again, thank you to the viewers that are listening. Y'all are the reason that we're able to grow to this next level. Um, and the next level is, is to.
Bring y'all the best information that you can to have the best sex that you've ever fucking had, and the highest quality
we can get you. Yes.
Highest best quality. You left out an
interview. Uh, which one? Only fans.
Oh my God, yes. Okay. So we have a, um, a girl that I know and she has an she's fucking rocking only fans. An amazing site. Um, and she's gonna come on and she's gonna actually kind of give us the how to. Yes. Um, she's gonna let us know if this is something that you're wanting to set up, this is how you're going to do here's how you would do it. Yeah. This is how you're gonna do it. This is all the ins and odds and outs and bullshit. Of it. Um, but
because what we've, one thing we've learned is it's not just a, a plug and play situation. Yeah. There's a number of steps involved that require like verification Yeah. And making sure you are who you are. Mm-hmm. And you're doing things in the
proper way. Well, just learning the site, you know, sometimes a, a new social media site pops up and, and a lot of times people don't wanna gravitate towards it because
you have to learn it. Just do that as like a, as a. An episode on ours. What is be like a step by step of, oh my God. Yeah. Like I'll, I'll record one where it's like a, a screen share of the computer. You're gonna click this button, you're gonna click this button. It'll be a how to guide. It'll be like o only fans 1 0 1. No, and that would be helpful how operate
the site. Yeah. And that would be helpful. And again, keep in mind we're also as, as like sex positivity and as we are and like we fucking love sex work as a whole. Only fans is a portion of that. Yeah. And so this is to get you to understand the site the way that it is and the format and the way that it is. And we're interviewing her so she can teach us how to use it. No, I'm just kidding. Well, the biggest
part of that, something like only fans is, is all about re it's about taking back your sexual power and whenever you put the power in the hands of you, you, you step outside of the, the, the Instagram sexuality where you're essentially objectified. Yeah. Or the PornHub. Mentality of being, again, objectified. Whenever we had this, this was on our interview with Sylvia Sage. Yeah. Where she was like, I can literally sit at home and just diddle
myself first myself and make a hundred percent more than I would Yeah. And make
thousands of dollars. Yeah. So it's, it's, it is, it's about more about reclaiming that sexuality for yourself and empowering people to make their own sexual choices. Mm-hmm. And not feeling pressured into doing things for an audience that. Gives you nothing in return. Yeah. I just takes and takes and takes.
Yeah. I had a client the other day say something about isn't only fans just prostitution? And I was like, and sex work and like obviously it's not the same. Well, I mean, I guess it could be, I don't know that like the line of definition of prostitution is like then selling your like. Physical body, but I was just trying to get her to understand like, does it
matter though? You have, I mean, the same way that we talk about like ethical, no monogamy and things like that. Yeah. We have that umbrella. So it all falls into the umbrella of sex work, whether you're talking about exotic dancing or you're talking, talking about, um, if you wanna use the word prostitution. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Or an only fann model. Mm-hmm. It all falls under sex work on some level. Yeah. Uh, but it becomes, you know, well, let's define it a little bit further and these are the
subcategories, but I just love the idea of reclaiming it because like you said, women, or hang on, we get vastly oversexualized, so fuck that. You're gonna oversexualize me. Fine. Pay me to do it. Fuck. Pay me to do it. Pay me. Fuck you pay me. Fuck you. Pay me. Exactly. So anyways, um, so let's get actually to the, the top. It's may of this show today. It is May, it is masturbation May It is. Why is it called masturbation Maye? Where did that even come
from? We have Can I get a drum roll? No, I don't want a drum roll. Oh God. You have any idea what that's doing to their speakers right now? That's, that's, that was a terrible idea. I'm gonna mute the mic during that in the post edit. Took my
two fingers and like drumline
the mic out. I'm gonna edit everything out because somebody is sitting in their car going out with like big speaker, like subs and it's just
I'm like, uh, who is it? Um, uh, private parts. Oh God. Howard Stern. Howard Stern. Yeah. Where he is like, uh, go ahead and, uh, sit on the mic. You're, and you
just keep doing shit too. You're grabbing your mic, you're throwing your lips in, you're tapping on it. I can't wait to mute all that out.
Don't you have to keep it. It's just gonna be my mic saying You can't mute me,
Casey, I can do whatever I wish I'm in control.
You do, you do. Edit it. I have no fucking say in any of this shit. Absolutely none. Anyway. Anyway, back on. Uh, yes, please. Masturbation May Why is it
called that? So masturbation may and we're, I'm not gonna tell you that. Um, go into the name of the sex shop just because I don't have it on top of my head. That's fine. Uh, so back in the 1990s, the, I believe it was the Sergeant General. Uh, her name was Jocelyn. I don't have no information. What? I dunno, I have, so I have no information in front of me. This is all out of, out of my, what I already critical thinking. Looked at. Yeah. No memory recall.
Okay. She had suggested that we add to the sex ed curriculum a discussion on masturbation. Mm-hmm. She was fired for it. This was 1993. Can't talk about masturbation. So they were like, no, we're not putting that in there. We're not talking about masturbation and sex education. So that's interesting. So in return to protest this mm-hmm. Within, in San Francisco, I believe there was a sex shop that organized a protest to do it.
Okay. And so they had a masturbation day in honor of this person that was fired. Mm-hmm. Uh, Jocelyn Edwards. Like, I'm like, hold that outta your ass. I think that's what it was. All right,
we'll fax, check
it later. And uh, and so they had that. Mm-hmm. And that, that evolved from there into an entire month. So now we have masturbation May for those. Yeah. That celebrate, which actually leads me to go. I remember sex ed that I had in high school, and now that I think about it, I had a really fucking good sex ed teacher. It was one of our teachers. She was our speech teacher, and I remember we were given exercises to do. Mm-hmm. That was like, Hey, outside.
Now that of course, the downside to this is that they had Strictly defined sex as penetrative. Yeah. So they're like, what are things you can do that's not sex? And it would be like fingering and oral and stuff. And now we're at a mindset like, no, all of that is sex. Sex.
Maybe that's why I had such a hard time, like differentiating like between what is sex and what isn't. Right. Because I remember in our earlier episodes, I was like, This is how I define sex until I got like a little bit more educated. Yes,
exactly. And so that does make me think back. But I remember my sex ed class being like, we dove into all of that stuff. Hmm. We were like put into groups and it was like, Hey, this is what fingering is. This is what oral is. What, yeah.
That was, we went to the same high school. Was I not there that day? This
I, I was an entire week. Was I not there that week? Yeah. I, I don't fucking know. I was, I was, this was in health class, so, um, anyway, it was, it brought me to think about that whole thing. Yeah. Um, how We
have sidebar, I'm just gonna say it. The fucking ice cream truck is coming and our kids go crazy over the ice cream truck, and so all we can hear right now is the ice cream truck in the background. And our kids like ran down the stairs. Ways we were gonna get right back on track anyways, masturbation.
Masturbation, so now we have a, a month dedicated to the practice of masturbation and we, us being the sex positive, fun people that we are. Mm-hmm. We try to encourage everybody that we know to participate in some way. Like we, that's the way, that's our view of masturbation. Yeah. Everyone just, let's get in a room and masturbate together, everyone. Grab
a chair pants off. I don't know why the accent was needed for it. I think it was the Renaissance fair that we were talking. That's where I was earlier.
That's where I was headed. Why the accent?
Grab your
fires tool. Let go
of your mic. No, it's my mic. I will hold it the way I want anyways. Um, the, the point is that we're trying to like, like a masturbation is so fucking important. So
first of all, it's healthy. Very, um, it can improve things such as your mood. It can improve sleep. Mm-hmm. It can improve so many aspects
of your health. You have no idea how many times I, I, I masturbate when you're asleep next to me because I'm like, I, I can't sleep. Yeah. Like I struggle with sleeping, so I'm just gonna like, it's a lot easier for you than it is for me. Oh, it's way easier for me. Yeah. Because I'm not gonna lie I still get nervous and I'm like, God, what if you like wakes up and I'm like, masturbating
you. We've had that conversation. I know. You've been like, what if you wake up? I'm like, then I'll probably be like, Go.
You do. You Do you need help? Help. Can I just watch
you? You want my hands? Do you need anything? You good? I'll just roll back over. Leave me alone. Finish off your thing. Like I couldn't do that next to you. Because the whole bed's gonna shake.
I was about to say, but the mattress's so active when you, do, you know what I mean? The mattress is gonna be moving all over the place, and I'm such a light sleeper, so I would wake up immediately if, if you were to be like a fucking deer in the headlights. What's the, what's the movie where the guy's like masturbating? Nick's wife in bed. American Beauty. That
was, he was masturbating the shower. Oh, wait, no, no, it wasn't
Ben. She like, what are you doing? Well, I'm ready. For whatever he says. But no, like there, there are so many different aspects to masturbating and there's so many, like you said, health benefits. There's like just like a mental state, like it can help you. There are times where I've literal been like, I'm fucking frustrated and I'm gonna go now. It's a good stress reliever.
Yeah. Like I'm gonna go have some quiet time and just because I go to have this quiet time doesn't mean that I necessarily, like I'm going to masturbate every single time within that. But I have noticed when I do, I just come out and I'm like, Okay. All right. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's do this.
Okay. So then let's, let's go further into, um, the house of masturbation. Yeah. You know, there's, and I, I wanna like separate this into as much as we promote like gender fluidity. Mm-hmm. And we're, we're very positive towards all communities. We do wanna talk penis owners versus Volvo owners. Mm-hmm. Voters owners. That's fine. And how this works. One of the things that Carrie and I have always kind of had fun debates on. As been, or not even just noticing mm-hmm.
Is that we'll go into sex shops and it's the disparity between, um, toys to please and involve and toys to please a penis. A penis. Yep. Because as penis owners, we've always been told, just use your hand. That's all you need. Yeah. Just use your hand, dude. You don't need anything else. What
else you need? But that's really not the case. The real, the, the
reality is the case is that, but these objects are fun. Mm-hmm. And they create different sensations. So just the same It is in terms of a girl. Yeah. Yeah. What, what's involved with having a toy for a penis owner? If you've never looked at one or if you've never seen one, like there's plenty of companies out there, but a lot of them will make just essentially, A material type that's, that looks like a vulva. Mm-hmm. And then on the inside has all different bumps and, and yeah.
And everything's on, like I've been on the the Fleshlight website. Yeah. And you have different models, and I don't mean models like people, I mean models, like they create different ones. Yeah. Where on the insides there's all sorts of different stuff. There might be bumps, there might be waves, there might be like these like cylinder looking things. Yeah. There's all sorts of materials on the inside to create different sensations. So you can almost find the one that you want.
My encouragement there is that if you are a penis owner and you've just been using your hands since you were a preteen, then maybe it's time for you to explore a little bit. Yeah. Find all the stuff that's
out there. So how did you feel for the first time that you used a stroker? Like do you remember? So that's the thing.
There was, there was shame involved and there really was discomfort involved. Yes. I mean, I was young. I was, I was probably in my like late teens, early twenties when you got a
stroker. Yeah, so
I, I, at the time I. I think I was living in like Corpus Christi. Mm-hmm. Um, and so I stopped at one of the shots and keep in mind, that was also one of the times where I, in my mind it was so like, Sex shamed that I wouldn't even go to a shop that was in town. I would like, no, go down 35 on the way between college and home and be like, I'm gonna stop at one of these Triple X stores where you walk in and it's like tile floors and rows of videos and it really isn't an uncomfortable experience.
Yeah. Like, okay, I'll get one of these. Those are
the shops that girls are terrified to go
in, that that is the shop that a lot of people still, even though to this day, will think of when they think of a sex shop. They think of an adult store. Yeah. That they're like, oh, and we've talked about that on the show before. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. So I ha Yeah, most definitely have gone inside one and just bought one of those and they're, they're like great tools. Mm-hmm. That's the fun thing is that it's a great tool to use. Yeah. We have this world where it's.
Women's vibrators and dildos and toys have been talked about so openly since the early two thousands, right? Mm-hmm. Along with like the help from the sex and the city and other, and real
sex and honestly, yeah, because in any of that that I saw growing up, it wasn't really a lot geared towards like male masturbation. No. It's,
it's mostly geared towards, uh, Volvo owners and masturbating for them. And so, especially that's what popularized the, what the, the Hitachi won in the first place with Sex and the City. Mm-hmm. Is they had, and we just talked about this the other day. We did, we did. We talked about the, there's a real floating around where it's, and I, I'm gonna, like Samantha, I'm gonna, Toot my own horn, cuz I know all this stuff. Now you do. Charlotte and Samantha were talking. Mm-hmm.
And Charlotte had said to Samantha you're glowing. What's going on? She's I've been masturbating all day. I masturbated all day today. And it felt great. So I went on for hours. But she was the one, her character was the one that popularized the Hitachi wand. Yeah. And so then it was like, Hey guys, now it's mainstream, it's popular, we can go ahead and buy sex toys. And the industry has just evolved. Yeah. Over the last 20 or so years with about fucking time.
Fucking everything, but it's, it's okay for women. Yeah. Right. So now we have this cultural shift where it becomes okay for women to, or for vulva owners to buy all sorts of toys. Mm-hmm. I mean, it is
geared, geared towards women.
The selections that you have for men or for penis owners are mostly geared towards, and I hate to say this, but it's geared towards like, look at the porn model. It's modeled after like, it's like buying a, whenever I was a kid and I bought a skateboard and I was like, I need the pro model.
That's why they do that, babe.
We're, that's exciting. We're more about, we're more about the person. We're more about the person, not about the product. No, unfortunately. Mm-hmm. Me personally, I'm like, I go fuck about the per, like, I'm not sitting back going, ah, can't wait to watch your videos and have a model of your vagina.
Like, I mean, but it's the same thing where girls can go and buy like a model dick from a dairy. You understand? Yeah. Uh, and that's, that's not something that I've ever really understood because I'm not trying to like masturbate to an individual or to how I feeling. Think ave an, an individual would feel. Yeah. It's just, it's actually about good feeling.
Yeah. It's just about myself. It's about, and it should be. Yeah. Like there's some self-love. So that's kind of step one is I think
more be, you see all the fucking time people are like self-love. Self-love. Okay. Are you self masturbating? That is that that is the ultimate self-love. I am touching my own self to give my own self pleasure. I am loving myself so hard right now.
And it allows, that portion allows you to communicate better to the people that you do find en intimacy in sleep with. To be like, look, here's what I like. Mm-hmm. I've discovered a lot about myself. They're doing this. I know that I like these things
Well, and you know, we actually had just had a conversation like two days ago where I was like, Hey, we're gonna do this like masturbation episode. Why don't we sit down and I'm going to masturbate in front of you. Mm-hmm. And you're gonna masturbate in front of me and in my head to sit there and watch Casey masturbate in front of me. I'm going to be paying attention to what are, what are his hands doing? Yeah. How is he doing that? How much of a grip you got?
Exactly. What are you
doing? What are you, do you have a grip? Is it soft? Is it lubed up? Is it sometimes, um, like, uh, no lube at all, and just like a dry hand, because there have been times I've seen you do that as well. Like, and so to sit down in, in front of your partner, because there's also a level of like discomfort that's naturally going to happen the first time that you sit down in front of your partner and touch yourself. But I strongly, strongly encourage you to do that. Oh, it creates such connection.
Like be embarrassed in front of your partner if you're going to be embarrassed in front of any, per any person in the fricking world. Let it peer partner, you know? Yeah. And, and we have done that where I've touched myself in front of him and, and you've touched yourself in front of me. And, and I did. I was like taking notes. And then I was able to implement a little bit more into your sexual wants with what I was then doing to you later on. And I've noticed that you've done the same thing.
Yeah. You know, after I have touched myself in front of you, I. I've noticed you kind of like alter how you do it too. Of course. And I think it's very important.
It's continuous learning. It was, it's like the one, it's funny, it's like the one aspect in life that people don't push continuous learning on. We push continuous learning. Everything is continuous everyth like your personality and your knowledge of certain subjects. But in terms of pleasing your partner, it's like, Nah, I did it that one time. We're good. I don't need to continue this
story. We have a system in place, so you should, she comes in the time,
right? If that's what you wanna tell
yourself. Okay. Yeah. But do you wanna come the exact same every single time, or do you want. To give each other mind blown fucking orgasms.
That's because one of our core philosophies is it's about communication. It's about, it's not about the endgame. No, I'm just kidding. Good Lord. It's not about the endgame. Yes. It's about how we get there. Yes. Um, an orgasm is not always equal to an orgasm. No. However, the way that you achieve that orgasm can be so different every single time and it create like all these different sensations. Mm-hmm. And it's a fun, it's a playful, intimate, fun act.
Yeah. And you get to just participate in all this stuff, but knowing how your partner does it for themselves can allow you to get, that's really good insight, can allow you to alter some of the things that you're doing to be like, oh, okay. I noticed they were.
Mm-hmm. Uh, ver uh, instead of like for, for a girl, I noticed that she's doing more circular motions versus like up and down, up and down, up and down. Yeah. I notice she things like that to
notice more than she is like a clip. I know that her notice her clip's sensitive, so she like spreads her fingers and goes on either side of her clitoris.
She or she does insertion. So that's something that I'm going
to do, which is a big one. That's one that I think that so many people need to really get across their heads is we already know that there's a, a low percentage of women that. Do orgasm from penetration alone
sucks for them. I'm so sorry. Individuals that can't come from penetration. I'm sorry, it's just sidebar. This is just me being me, but damn. I'm lucky anyways.
Yes, having said that, the vast majority of Volvo owners out there mm-hmm. Do orgasm from clitoral stimulation. Yeah. So I get that through your fucking head.
Yeah. If you were experi literal, just doing penetration, The odds of her actually coming are pretty slim. Yeah. And And so there's ways that you can learn how she masturbates and then have intercourse and then use those same tools that you see how she masturbates on her while you're having intercourse. Yeah. There's ways to please your wife in a way that she can visually show you, and there's no better tool than them visually showing you what gives them pleasure.
Absolutely. So sit down and observe each other. Mm-hmm. Another thing that you can do, um, we can do the, we've, we've talked about it before, the mirror method. Mm-hmm. That's a great one. This works well for Volvo owners, especially whenever you're, if somebody, if you're somebody that has had difficulty having an orgasm mm-hmm. And that might be related to things like, you think you have an unattractive vulva, or you've had shame in your life. Mm-hmm.
We encourage you to sit down penis hunters, you can do this as well, but sit down in front of a mirror. And explore yourself.
Look at it. Move your, move your lip. Move your lips around, like spread your lips open. Open lip balls up. Doesn't
matter, like lift your hood. Take a look at your clip. You are, you have this very unique and amazing piece of anatomy mm-hmm. That is, is part of you. And you also have an organ sitting there, a small little organ that is designed solely for pleasure. For pleasure.
A hundred you deserve to explore. That's all she, that's all she's there for. There is no other reason why a click exists. Right. Like
there, so there's, there's, there is some immune function to it as well, but for the vast majority of people. But that comes from, it, it, it has evolved to be a, an organ of pleasure. Yeah. And that's what it is there for, which is great. Mm-hmm. So we, we encourage you to explore it out a little bit. Like take a look at it, move things around. And again, he was a little hand mirror. Mm-hmm. Get close in there.
Everyone. One I, every woman I know as of right now has a standing mirror in their bed. Right? You know, put your legs up against the mirror, spread your legs. Look, see what feels good. Look and see what feels good. Look and see where it feels good. Um, it, it is yours. And there's another aspect to masturbation, um, for women that I wanna like disclaimer, hear, touch your fucking self and not just your vulva.
Touch your breast, touch your body, feel how you feel like, I think there's this weird stigma that women don't actually feel like their breasts belong to them because of how like oversexualized breasts are. So I feel like my breasts are for the opposite sex.
Well, you have a couple of things there, right? So Yes. Um, hypersexualization or oversexualization of breasts to be like, it's a, a sexual object. Yeah. At the same time, you're also told, well, no, you need to be, you're gonna be a mother. So, oh yeah, that the
next point. There are four. Your kids. Yeah, that was the next point I was gonna bring up where it's, well, why would I do that when that's like what he was. What I've geared towards in my head, like, no, this is for my baby only. Or this is for like male arousal only. It's your breast. It's your fucking breast. So if it feels good, yeah, if it feels good, do it.
Um, there are plenty of women that I know that have never touched their breasts and there's plenty of women I know that they can only come if they also then touch their breast. So I finally feels good. Yeah. And encourage people
that can come from. Only touching their breasts. I'm
just about to say that there are literally women. It's a super, it's
a
super slim percentage. It is, but you're never gonna know until you do it. You're never gonna know until you try. So understand that your body is yours and touch it the way that you feel necessary. You can grab your breasts and grab and, and, and, and massage them. And if you feel silly. Then feel silly and you tried it. But if you do that and all of a sudden you're getting the sensation, explore that sensation.
You need to touch your body and you need to explore yourself in a way that makes you feel comfortable and also really excited. Um, Okay, so just like randomly and just cuz we're talking about the same thing as a guy, like I wouldn't imagine that you would like pinch or nipples while you're jerking off. You can try to, yeah, exactly. That's what I was gonna say though. Like, but you could try that though. I, I would never knock anybody for doing something.
Yeah. But I yourself, the way that you, you kinda, you've, you've enjoyed like nipple stimulation before anyone does. There's like a sensation there. Yeah. And so I'm curious, have you ever tried that? Have you ever been like a little, a little. Pinch and like little pinch and twist. A little pinch and twist and jerk, you know? Um, personally, no,
no. Yeah, that's not, because it's not something like,
but that's fair though. So, but because I also feel like you like that when it's like a tongue penis,
hunters are, are, you know what I ha, I hate to say it, but I love to say it. Penis are simplistic. We have a few parts of anatomy and you can stimulate it. We're gonna have an orgasm. Yeah. Wo women, not women, vulva owners mm-hmm. Are more complicated. It takes a lot more to get them aroused. It takes a lot more effort to get them to where they, where they need to be. Yeah. Which is respectable. Mm-hmm. Um, however, whenever it comes to penis owners, it's not that complicated.
It's not that complicated, complicated. It's not that complicated. Yeah. Now that also allows for us to experience that journey a lot more. Mm-hmm. That's one of the reasons why I sit back and say it is more about the journey, because almost anything you do can lead to orgasm for a penis owner. Yeah. But the way that you do it can create various levels of intensity of orgasm. So if you stop making it about the orgasm for the penis owner mm-hmm.
Or the Volvo owner, and make it more about I'm gonna try these different things. You can create this really, really cool creativity in the bedroom. Yeah.
But it just needs to happen though. It's very important. The more, uh, and and I hate to say that males are more inclined or penis owned owners are more inclined to like understanding their body in that way. But it's, it's kind of true. There's a lot
less to
understand. There's a lot. Yeah. But, but only it's, it's true. I mean, I remember being in Maya like. Mid twenties. Uh, and, and I had friends that had never touched themselves once. Huh. And I'm like, that's also the culture, right? Like, it, it, it is. And that's what I'm saying. I, I do feel like there's a stigma to Okay. We have a teenage boy. We're like teenage boys. Masturbate. That's what it is. And even us being sex positive, that's kind of where my mind goes.
Like I can then assume that our teenage boy at some point soon or have not already has masturbated it. Oh, has, has already. But I can, I can almost say that our daughter in that same age group, Maybe hasn't. Yeah. Maybe has, maybe hasn't. But it's just from, again, like to, to, to talk to women and, and them be like, I'm 26 years old and I've never touched myself. I'm like, what? And you're
like, why have you never touched yourself? Well, I was always told
that it's not okay. I was told, or it's gross or it's weird. It's not fucking weird. It's your anatomy. Touch your anatomy. How are you going to un to, to, to What's that word? Rel, and it's not the word I'm thinking of, but whatever. How are you gonna relate to someone what you like if you don't even know what you like yourself?
Yeah. You can't communicate that you, you can't sit there and be like, I feel like it'd be very awkward if I was laying in bed with someone that's never touched me and I'm just sitting there and I've never touched myself. And then you're just like,
okay, go at it. Figure it out. Okay.
Yeah, it's dive in. Like, and it's just, it's, it's very important and, and like I said, Take side. The fact of it's weird. It's fucking not, it's your anatomy. Um,
it's healthy, it's,
there's no shame in it. It's healthy. There's absolutely no shame. Helps everybody. It helps everyone. And there have been times where like I knew that Casey, um, we had flirted, we have done sexy texts, we've done sexy like pictures, videos, whatever. And I knew that later that night you're coming home from work and I knew that I was gonna be turned or that you were gonna wanna have sex because we had led up to it. But I, but you know, life happened and I got busy and I wasn't there.
I excuse myself, and I've actually gone and touched myself a little bit to reach, try to arouse yourself. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna rebring this up because as we know, life happens, we're not
perfect. Yeah. That's why we've talked about that in the past. The dual control system. Yeah. It's not about, it's not always about the partner, it's the partner turning you on. There's so many variables that go into your sexuality. And your arousal. Mm-hmm. That it's not all under your control. There's so many external factors that affect you on your day-to-day. Mm-hmm.
That if you get to the point where you're like, well, we said we were gonna have sex, or we, we wanted to, and I know my partner's turned on. Mm-hmm. But I'm not there. I'm not there. You can make an attempt. Mm-hmm. Excuse yourself for a little bit. All right. Let me try to get myself in the mindset. Let me talk myself through this. Um, and that has nothing to do with your attraction to your partner. It has everything. No, it's just a mindset
with your, yeah.
It has everything to do with your relationship with yourself. Mm-hmm. Which is why we encourage masturbation in the first place. Yeah. It helps increase your relationship with yourself cuz like that's, you are, you're in love with yourself. Mm-hmm. You should be. You should be. You actually should. You really need to be. You should be. So give yourself something.
Mm-hmm. No, and I love that. And, and like the other point to it too is like, not only so I, okay, I'm gonna kind of go back a little bit. I love that you brought up the mirror. The mirror is an important tool. Yes, you need to look point, you, you do need to look at yourself and see what you look like. Um, every vulva is different. It doesn't matter if you're more forward facing. It doesn't matter if you kind of slip underneath. It doesn't, it doesn't matter.
But, You are not going to look the same as someone else. And so if you, even if you were to watch someone else masturbate, it's not going to necessarily do the same thing for you as it does for them. So I am going to go over, if you are a, like, I have never masturbated, listen to this, I'm gonna go over some of the like techniques that women can do to, um, start out masturbating because to immediately look at yourself and then take your hand and touch yourself. That's not the first step.
That a lot of times it's not the first step, and if you feel insecure about having your physical hand and you don't have a toy, okay? A really great way for females is to lay on your stomach. Lay on your stomach. You can get a blanket, you can get a pillow, you can ball up your hand, anything, and it's gonna sound crazy, but you literally rub your vagina over that spot over and over and over. Um, You're going to get a stimulation from, from doing that. It doesn't have to be hard.
It can be really light. And as soon as you start kind of like rotating your pelvis over whatever, um, tool you have underneath, you're going to feel sensation, I promise, and let that continue until you have an orgasm. And when you do enjoy it, like you earned it, and then also later on, Flip that side over, be on your back and that same circular rotation that you did with your hips, now you're actually gonna do with your hand. Play with it. Experiment with it.
Casey said earlier, some girls like to like fold their lips, betwe and put their cl between their lips and then rub on top. Some girls want to lick your finger and write on top of
that clip. I mean, that was just lube over licking. But go ahead. Fair
but fair. But all I'm saying is what I meant by that is just don't go in it dry. Don't just grab it dry, stick your finger on that and
rub and if that's the point we haven't made yet. Penis owners, pull the owners uhhuh. Find a good lube. Just find lube and use it. Stop it. It really stop using saliva. Like saliva can be fun. It can be a good playful kink, but to use fucking lube, yeah, it's gonna help you out and you're gonna, all of us I guarantee you there's gonna be somebody listening to this. It's like, I've never really used lube to masturbate. I've used it for sex, but never to masturbate.
And they try, they're gonna go try it. Holy shit. Yeah. I didn't know this was a thing. Try it. So keep trying that out. I love the fact that you said that, cause I'm gonna add on to yours. Yeah. For a second, please. Is to be like Volvo owners. One of the things that you can do is find. Material that feels good. Mm-hmm. You have people that will use, there's water spouts that you can use in the bathtub. Can try. They have attachments for your bathtub
head. You have a, everyone's heard the removal. Shower head. Yeah. Removal shower head is a
reason. Changeable settings. Mm-hmm. All that. You can. So if you can a pillowcase silk mm-hmm. Cotton nylon, find whatever does feel good, and find the movements that do feel good. Mm-hmm. And then remember them if you wanna journal about 'em, go ahead please. You wanna make a 30 day masturbation journal
and just, and find different ways of like, am I going to, here's just the thing I'm gonna do today. Am I going to be face down? Am I gonna be back up? Am I going to, and what I was about to get into, you call that research. Yes. But, and then the next step that I was going to get into is, Well first, again, use your hands. Play with your hands first, then bring in a toy. And the reason why I say that is a toy becomes a disconnect and sometimes a good, healthy disconnect.
I'm mentally touching myself and I'm pleasuring myself without it feeling like I'm doing it to myself. That's okay, but I still believe that you need to touch yourself, feel yourself, feel what it, it feels like for you to be wet. Feel what it feels like for you to make yourself come. Then bring in toys because it's, there's a beauty of understanding your own body with your body. And then bringing in outside tools and, and fun things that you can do to make yourself come.
You're go, you're probably gonna make yourself come a whole lot faster with a toy. Um, but I think it's health sense, but I think it's healthy to understand your body. Um, obviously I'm, I'm a little bit talking about myself right now. I can make myself come with a toy very fast. Very much. You sound like you're talking about personal experience here, but, but I'm not like, I'm, dude, I speak for the trees.
No, um, most women are like this and, and if you have only ever masturbated with a toy, use your fucking hand. Try with your own body. I strongly encourage that. You learn a lot about yourself. You learn about what it feels like to feel yourself. There is a beauty and disconnecting when you use a toy, but there's a lot more beauty, not a lot more beauty, a different set of beauty that comes from understanding and feeling yourself. You talked about it earlier. You can get a stroker. That's great.
You can also just. Use your hands. That's also great. There's a level of your own body that you need to understand how it is being received, whether it is yourself, whether it is a toy, or whether it is a partner. And I think you need to explore all of those within yourself and then dive in with a partner.
Well, you said it well. Yeah. Um, go out this man masturbate. Do what? Go out
this man masturbate, man. Masturbate. Yeah. Uh, real quick before we end out, is there any like side aspect? Cause you already said guys have strokers, guys have hands. Is there like a, a masturbation like technique or suggestion that you would give to your penis owners?
Vary it up. Yeah. Massage your own balls.
Use your finger tips. That's kinda interesting. Yeah. And I meant to ask that, like, do guys like, like you massage their bowls, why they also jerk off? Or is that like a boob thing?
Nope. Most of what men are told, most of what penis owners are told throughout life and growing up is. Grab on and jerk until you're done. Grab and shake. That's a very elementary way of doing things. But you can go all over the place if you want to. You can use your fingertips. You can use your palming, your hand on, mm-hmm. On on your glass penis in the head. You can stroke the shaft, you can massage your balls, you can use your fingertips on your perineum. Mm-hmm.
Or that area just behind the balls in between your. No. Between the dick and the asshole. Yeah. Um, massage that area there. There's so many things you can do, but the whole point is to just explore and find what feels good. Yeah. That's the overarching message in all of this is find for each individual person what feels good for you. Mm-hmm. Once you understand what feels good and once you're like, wow, I know what I like, tell your partner, this is what I like. Yeah. This is what I've found.
Communi works really well for me. Would you do this for me? Mm-hmm. For my pleasure. Mm-hmm. So, awesome. Go out. This may masturbate
all month long and let us know how it goes.
Carrie's really big on people telling us.
I just wanna know, I'm
curious what we really want. We want your questions and we want your comments. Yes, please. So if you have any of those, you're welcome to DMS on Instagram. Come with kc. Mm-hmm. You can send us an email to come with KC gmail.com. You can find us on TikTok. You can now find us. An only fans come with
kc. Yeah. And, and seriously, our wall right now is free. Um, before we even put content up. So if you wanna get on that like free train, I would do it now because it's not gonna, it's gonna all be behind a paid wall
eventually. Enjoy this month. Masturbate away.