We're recording. Yes, we are. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. welcome to the next episode for you on Come with Casey. It's another episode. It's December. It is For those people that are like binge watching. You probably like love it when we're like getting started. Binge watching. Binge binge listening. Binge. We should be binge watching We just don't do video. We've been, we've been dragging ass so hard. With getting onto video, it's really like to set the, the, like the scenery up. You know?
That's like the harder part for me is we gotta, like, if we're on video, I can't stand stand here shirtless with house slippers on. I am literally topless in most of these I will have to put makeup on, but it's comfortable. It creates a good, well it is, creates a good atmosphere for the two of us. I know. I'd rather enjoy it, so yeah. I'm not mad that we've delayed, but that'll be like, what's next year? 20 what? 2023. 2023. 2023. That'll be the year. To decorate, to decorate.
What are we decorat? The, the, the scenic of our podcast. You have a very, very interesting way with words. Thank you. Thank you. So what are we talking about this episode? So, as always, whenever we're starting off our episodes, we want to draw your attention to the bedroom. Um, if you've been listening lately, we've been really talking about this company called Pulse. Yep. Uh, tested out their lubricants. All three of them are at least the three that we have at this point.
Yeah. Which includes a silicone based, a water-based, and a. I'm gonna say it again. This is literally the best lube that I've ever used for me personally and what I look for in a lube. These have been my favorite and we've used a lot. We have, we've used so many different kinds over the years. but the way that this one doesn't necessarily feel like a lube, it acts just as good as a lube, but doesn't give you that sticky gummy feeling after. Right.
You don't have that dirty feeling of just, now I gotta go shower. Yeah. Right. Like really work to get it off you So well, and it, and it just kind of like absorbs them to the skin really, really well. If it wasn't just like a. Put it on my vagina just for like some nice moisture. I just wanna feel soft, you know? I just wanted to feel nice and soft for a little bit, and then go into the skin.
Well, the best part about it is that this company, along with their, their personal lubricants and massage oils, they also have a dispenser. Mm-hmm. a bedside. Self-harming dispenser. So no more putting a bottle in your hands, squeezing it, going, shooting back across the room, going back for more and getting it all over the bottle. All over your hands, all over it.
Does everything end up being this like sticky mess where this, you just kind of put your hand under the motion and then it gives you a nice little drop of lube and you can continue going on. I love that. Yeah, and it's sleek looking. If you haven't checked it out, go to love my pulse.com. Uh, shop around a little bit and once you buy it, make sure you use discount code. Come with KC to get 10% off. Awesome. No. Anyway. Yeah. So what else? Onward. Onward to the show.
Yeah, but what, no. What's the other thing that we're working on? Our Suaree? Yes. Are I thought that we're doing this, what is say is the 13th of December. As much as I don't like to date episodes, we're gonna date this one and it's because we're going through our December 31 day Suaree. And if you don't know what that is, that is if you will, like an advent calendar. Topics, ideas, things to do with your partner, things to discuss with your partner, all to bring you closer this holiday season.
Yeah. Look, here's what we get is that during the December time for a lot of couples, you have a little bit more time off. You have, I mean, you're busy with holiday parties and all these kind of things, but you are spending more time at home or or traveling, whatever you're gonna be doing. Mm-hmm. So what we wanted to do was come up with a. Way to connect, a great way to communicate, and a great way to have some dirty, kinky, awesome sex.
Yes. And so we specifically designed this 31 day suaree to do just that. And it's been a lot of fun. I mean, we've been participating in all the different ones that we've, uh, sent out. Um, we had to write a love letter. We, so then what, let's do that. What's, what's been your favorite so far? Um, probably my favorite was when it was, Separate out, take some time and dance to your wedding song or a song that made you, that was last night, remember? Yeah. Well, yeah.
Yeah. Put me, you know, it was but that was probably my favorite, honestly. And because it didn't take like this huge amount of time, we were able to still have that moment together. But it was just really like, Quick and sweet and, you know, we turned our lights out. You like, made some ENT lighting and, and it was cute and I love the way you pronounce the words. Thanks ob. It's obvious lighting. It's ent. So yes, the ambience was great. Yes, it was obely. Perfect.
So, uh, a little, a little bit of a detail in there for that story is that the, uh, our wedding song that we had was video games by Lana. Yes. And we have two kids. We are both busy all the time and we had family over last night. Like I was doing haircuts, like we, we were busy and we get it. Like kidding. So for anyone that is like, I don't have time to do this. We waited until family had went home. Mm-hmm. uh, we got the kids down for the evening. We expected them.
They hadn't, you know, had their first round of knocking on the door yet, just saying they want to tell me something Seriously. So we put on, I've got a little smart bulb in the bedroom that we can change the colors on. You can pick one of those up for like 20 bucks at a hardware store and turned it over to a little red lighting. Nice ambiance. Mm-hmm. put on Lana del Ray on our, on our speaker and dance footage. A few minutes. Yeah. And that's a long. It really is but it was great.
No, it was great. What about you? What was your favorite so far? Oh, my favorite one so far. See, here's the issue is that we've broken these down into like, into what? Communication. Mm-hmm. Uh, we've broken it down into, uh, like what connection and into sexual, so it's hard for me to really to, to separate them out, um, on the sexual side of things, I'll say that I think that my favorite has been, uh, probably the candy. Yeah, that was cute.
Where it's like, Hey, you can go, go get a thick candy. Can use that for some. Use it as an exchange for a toy. Mm-hmm. uh, use it to add to your blowjob. Use it to add. So we've, we've had these cool ways and I think that's been probably my favorite sexual one so far.
And then my favorite connecting one I think was probably going downtown and like, and being around the Christmas tree lights and and we even took the kids with, because we understand that going through with all these different challenges, you're not always gonna not have your children. So incorporate them the best you can, but still make sure to find little moments where y'all can be together. Yes. And that's the important thing.
It's, again, one of the re biggest reasons we're doing this in the first place mm-hmm. is because we're helping couples become more. Connected. Oh, remember we went to Skat. We went and took pictures in front of Skat. So that's where we, and we had our kids take pictures of us too. Oh, we did. It was so cute. We're like, get over here and take our picture. So if you don't know, we got engaged at a underground jazz club in the downtown Fort Worth area back in like 2012. Mm-hmm.
I think we got engaged. Um, and so this time we decided, you know what? In order to connect a little bit more, we're gonna go to where we got engaged. Mm-hmm. And we took the kids and we were like, Hey, you know, hey, this is where mom and. This where dad popped the question. Yeah. This is where everything kind of started with, uh, with us, our engagement process. So yeah, they loved it. They took pictures and allowed us to become a little bit more close.
So, uh, this challenge has been great so far. And we're gonna be doing another one. Yes, that's right. We're gonna do, we're gonna wait until February. Yeah. We're gonna, it'll, it'll give us a chance to, because this was like fast. We came up with the idea and we did it. We wanted everyone to be prepared and ready. Uh, February, we feel like it's a really good month. Mm-hmm. And that's gonna give us all of January. Create the best content and everything for y'all.
So if you love this idea, but you didn't catch it in time, understand that we'll be doing this again in February. Yes. And you can already start sending us your email and just say, I'm in, and we'll, we'll know what you mean. Uh, we got you. We'll add you to the list. Yes, we'll be doing this again in February. I'm so excited. All you have to do is reach out to us. You can do that through Instagram at, come with kc mm-hmm. and shoot us a dm. Or you can do it through email.
Come with KC gmail.com. Uh, if you want to be in on the next one. Now, if you're already in on this one and you're enjoying it, let us know. We had a fun time coming up with all the ideas and the different days and how we were going to arrange them, and it's, it's been blast. Yeah. And you like categorized it. I mean, you actually put a lot of fun into it. So to hear that feedback would just let us know what we. Further for For the next one.
Yeah, because I think the best bit of feedback we've received so far has been something along the lines of this challenge has opened up a ton of new conversation and feedback to each other So excited for this. So really the origin behind the idea for today's episode came from the fact that people are starting to talk more. And whenever we get in these conversations, we understand that sometimes you may hear a word or a phrase and you're like, what the hell does that mean?
You're, and or you might say a word or a phrase that you think means one thing and it doesn't actually mean what you think it means guilty So we're gonna be going over a lot of that today We reached out to some people that we know as well. Sifted through our own knowledge to come up with our version of a kink shary Yep. Kink list for ya. A little list of kink terms, all having to do with different acts, different phases, different. Mm-hmm. everything.
So get out your pen and paper and write these terms down. Start jotting 'em down because you're going to get a lot of good stuff today. Yeah. Uh, we're gonna jump right into it. This list is alphabetical, so as we go, Um, you'll be able to keep it nice and organized. Yeah. Go, won't you, uh, start us off. All right, so the first term we're gonna be looking at is a really, really good one. This is called. aftercare.
So aftercare is whenever you're finished with a scene, which in itself is another term to any sexual section with your partner. Mm-hmm. aftercare is the, the emotional and physical care that's administered to a person. So usually the dominant person, if they've been engaging in, you know, impact play things like slapping around or degradation or anything like that. Mm-hmm. uh, this is the way that, this is some tactics that you can use to prevent, uh, intense emotional after.
Yeah. So kind of like bring you back to reality with your partner. Um, and what are some ways that you can do that? Like, so I, I love this and we've, we've gone through a few, we've used a few of these. Mm-hmm. um, a really, really simple one that is effective is use candy. Like, I'm seriously, if you're the person that was being the dominant in this scenario, and you have somebody that's being more submissive and y'all went through something intense, reward them with a piece of candy.
Um, it's oddly satisfying. I'm gonna be honest. It is isn't, it's very satisfying. It's something like a Jolly Rancher. Yeah. Tets rolls. Little payday action. Little payday You know I need some protein after what you just did to me. you already had some salty nuts. So here's some salty nuts. Here's some protein for your protein. But if you just, if you just get a bowl of candy for, for next to the bed and then just grab one out of there and give it to your partner, that's one way.
Yeah. Um, another way is positive emotional reinforcement. So just, you know, a lot of, I love yous, a lot of your beautiful girls. Girls, good girls, especially if you have a praise kink. Yeah. Which we'll get to that too. Yes, we will. But there's a, uh, I mean a number of ways you can also just kind of bask in the afterglow. Mm-hmm. really, I mean, I've seen like cuddling, like Exactly. Sometimes they need touch, right where I was headed. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect.
Is cuddle up with your partner, lay there for a little while and just comfort them. Mm-hmm. because some of these things can get pretty intense depending on how into it you are. And if you're doing something where you know there's use of, you know, safe words, there's a lot of it can get very intense. So use aftercare. It's a really, really good way to help bring you back down and prevent any sort of like emotional drop in a person.
I'm gonna bring back a memory from a book that I read once and it just makes so much sense all of a sudden. Go for it. So is this like sex book? about like vampires, right? But, uh, in the process of him like turning her, he has to like feed on her and she has to feed from him like three times. Mm-hmm. And then after that like intense act, they would actually go and like bury themselves like a, a few feet down and he would Protect her through that.
But it was a sense of you just experienced something really dramatic. Now I'm gonna comfort you. But it talked about their like building and how much it created this bond with that person and, and I never really thought about it that way until you kind of brought this up and it made me think of that like you're creating a bond with someone after you go through an intense act together and then you're able to come back down and come together into reality.
Yeah. Talk about like the closeness that you received with your partner. Insane. Yeah. I love that. That's really cool. Yes. So again, if you're, if you're engaging in anything, uh, in the, in the kink community and bdsm, anything like that, don't forget the aftercare. Please don't forget the aftercare. It's a big important step. So next up we have age play. Yeah. Um, so this is any scenario. It's pretty straightforward. Where, where, why are you reading mine? I said we were taking turns.
Sorry, are you talking to me like you're a dom? Um, are you treating me like a sub? A little bit. Well, I ain't gonna stand for that man. and this is why you're a brat. And we'll get to that one in like four So why don't you go ahead and take over with this one and throw me, like in former, our audience, what age play is. Uh, and I'm not gonna lie, I didn't really understand it. I, until I read it, Before this, but I did think something wrong. Age play.
When one person takes on an older role and one person takes on a younger role, such as a father-daughter scenario. Interesting scenario to kind throw off. I know. I was about to say, I was like, you know, but like I guess I kind of get it cuz daddy is like a huge case throw of people. I would throw out like it maybe just not saying father daughter scenario. Maybe just. Duh. Or, um, no, because it does say age. So that one's that, yeah. Age play. Let me see.
Okay, so here's a super simple one that doesn't sound so, um, Incestuous. Yeah, there you go. Is maybe like best friend's mom. There you go. If you were somebody that grew up and your best friend at a really hot mom, you ever fantasized about that kind of thing? You can do some age play with your partner to be like, oh, this is my best friend's mom. It's an older woman. They're gonna teach me a thing or two. Super into Stacy's mom. Yeah, I totally get it. You can do professor and.
That's a really good one too. Okay. Because I, that did kind of throw me off for a second. I like the professor student idea. That's a good like age play. And again, because it's play being like, um, role playing. Exactly. Yeah. You can live out those, those fantasies in a safe environment. Mm-hmm. and have fun with it. There you go. So, all right, so on to my turn. So we're gonna go ahead and stick with, stick with these. Let's go with anal.
Listen, if you're gonna engage in any sort of anal play, this includes just a finger all the way to a penis or a strap on whatever you're gonna use. Training is appropriate, it's very app appropriate. It, it makes your partner more comfortable. It's going to make things to where you don't have to go so slow in the beginning is if you enter into a scene where you're doing anal play mm-hmm. and your partner is having an issue, you have to go so slow.
And that can sometimes bring the moon down a little bit. So, well, and not only that, but you can risk tearing yourself. Yes. So training also, you can get those like glass toys. They don't always have to be glass, but you can get, so I mean, that's exactly where we're headed with this. Yeah. Right. So it's it's inserting, yeah.
Inserting progressively larger objects like plugs in order to stretch the anal sphincter in preparation for activities, um, such as anal play all the way up to, well, something like fisting or something like that. Depends how far you wanna take it. Yeah. And, but either way, train it, prep. do the work beforehand. Uh, like you were saying, it's gonna be more enjoyable for the penis owner. Um, and, and for the anus owner. the person being penetrated. Yeah, that one.
Well, I mean, let's make one thing clear though, whenever we're talking about stretching the anal spnc. I'm gonna go doctor for you on a second here, please. Uh, the sort of muscular tissue that's around there is, it is elastic. So the likelihood of, of you, you know, inserting something and it just staying stretched out, that's not how that works. So if you've been interested in anal play, but you're like, oh my gosh, I don't wanna stretch out my asshole until I like, you know, yeah.
It until it just doesn't reform, that's not gonna happen. No, I'm glad you're saying that though, because people do like assume that I'm like, guys, no, Like it's not like you're not gonna start. It will. Yeah. It will go back, I promise you. Like the body is designed to go back it, it will be okay. I promise. Which is why we've encouraged so many people to have conversations from different sexualities and talk about this kind of stuff. Mm-hmm.
because then you can become informed and not have your life. Engaged with myth all the time. Yeah, exactly. Just assuming something that's, that's false. Right. Um, so the next one is, I'm so glad I get this one. uh, ball busting. ball busting is the act of inflicting intense pain to a man's genitals, either by kicking, punching, slapping, caning, you know, whatever for his pleasure, grab a golf club and go nuts. Yeah, I mean, I think like high heels stomping that.
That's where my mind goes personally. Um, but would you ever be interested in ball busting? I was actually about to ask you the same thing because in my head I'm going, I have no. Interest in experiencing pain. I've been hitting the balls numerous times in my life and it is nothing. Everybody stepped on my stilettos. Yeah. That doesn't appeal to me. I like, I immediately think sharp pain and ouch and no. Yeah. Yeah. Like, that's not something. How about you?
You ever wanna have your balls stepped on Right. Um, kind of have my tit stepped on. That hurts. Oh. But. To maybe be like a ball buster. Um, you wanna be the person don't kicking or punching the other person. You wanna be the one inflicting pain is what you're saying. Yeah. Like it goes both ways. Um, I'm not against it. I'm not against it, but I, there would be like this internal fear just being like, I do not, like what if I actually busted one?
Do you know how many messages we're gonna get now? from people being like, Keisha said he's not into it, but I am. Here's my contact info. I line 'em up, man. Line 'em up. All right, let's get into the, oh, it's my turn. Which the ball busting leads directly into this. This is BD sm everybody. Everybody has some idea, yeah. Of what feel like itsm. It's one of the most like understood definitions on our list so far. Yes. So let's dive a little further into it. Yes, please. Bondage, discipl.
Sadism and masochism. So it's, it's really an umbrella term used to describe sexual practices that involve, uh, physical control, psychological, power or pain. And it's typically includes components of bondage and discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism. but it's doing it in a safe space. I think that's the misconception people have is they're like, whoa, these people are going in and it's just a free for all of like, promise you, there's consent.
Promise you the single most practiced thing within any community involved around bd s m is, is safe Space and consent. Yeah. And it is discussion after discussion, making sure that this is where people want to be and, and participating in something that everyone can get sexual gratification from in a, in a safe. Even albeit painful way, Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. Oh, look at the next one. This one's made for you. How fitting? It's brat. A submissive who is deliberately uncooperative.
God, that sounds like me. Topping from the bottom. Pretending to be young for the purpose of, Eliciting attention and or punishment from their doms. Woo. So I would used to say that I was not a brat. You are. But as said, reading, I am now. I am now convinced anytime that one of the partners in the relationship is being like deliberately uncooperative. Oh. So if, if you've ever been this person, consider it like, Hey, guess what? Maybe you're a brat.
And especially if you are somebody that acts in such a way and you can see that your partner actually really enjoys it. Yeah. Maybe have that conversation to where you're not running into scenarios where you're actually getting mad at each other because the person's like, what the fuck? Are you acting like this? Well, yeah, that's part of that communication. So have that communication and make the realization that, oh wait, you're a. Brat.
That's some of the reason why you're doing the thing, acting in the way that you are. I'm actively trying to be a brat right now. Oh, we can all hear it. Don't worry about that I'm just making sure it's going through. All right, so let, let's move on here. We're gonna, and we're, we're gonna go through some of these terms here. So, uh, breath play. I love this one because we just talked about this, on our I believe we did in some form or the other. So breath play is a really, really good way to.
increase your orgasmic activity. So breath play is a form of play in which one participant controls the breadth of the. Other, so this can include choking, this can include asi, asphyxia, asphyxiation. but you know, if, if you've ever been into to being choked, uh, remember if we really are talking about choking, don't ever choke from the front. Don't close off the windpipe. We want to kind of squeeze from the. Yes. Where the, where the vasculature is.
So remove a little bit of that blood flow to get there. Choke appropriately. Yes. I promise. Choke, choke in a safe way so it can happen again and again and again. Mm-hmm. And you don't end up, you know, causing, causing esophagus. You might want that later. The actual long-term damage to your partner. Yeah. So do it in a safe way. So that's breath play. So, Favorite term on the list because Carrie did not know what the fuck it meant for years. I didn't care what it meant.
I liked the word and I, again, these are falling so in line with who's reading it, I'm so happy. Wait, before you read what it is. Yes. I want you to tell everybody what, what you thought it meant in the past. Uh, like when you just said that's bullshit. Like, oh, whatever. Like when you just like dis um, just disregard somebody's statement. Exactly. You're like, eh, Bocky was a way of saying that's just bullshit. Yeah. I mean, it's not a thought. It, I did think that.
It's just, it sounds appropriate. It's not just, it fits, and I even said I'm bringing it back. I want to change the terminology for Bocky. If you are unaware of what Bocky is, let me just go ahead and read it. it is a Japanese term for when a woman is, is then being like showered upon of semen. It is just all the seamen. Yes. From y from multiple people. Yeah. So if you, if you're up for it and you were, you know, ready to see you in an image, I guarantee you the first time it.
She said that she went, this is Bocky. Yeah, I'm sure The Japanese one. And then they were like, Bocky, It's my favorite word in the human dictionary. Not even the description of the ethology of that word. is amazing. Thank you. Amazing. But yes, if you are feeling brave and you want to see what bock looks like, simple. A simple Google. But safe. We should do a reaction video. I've never actually seen it.
We should just do like a reaction video for a YouTube channel of me just like seeing it happen. your phone is right there. All you gotta do is search, pocking go. No. What happens after you search Bocky on a phone? Like, I don't need Are you getting advertisements for plane tickets to Japan? Yeah. I don't need a bunch of weird shit. All right, go to the next one. This was fun. Oh God. So that, that was. Um, you know what, let's go with this one.
Let's go with, we're going to move down and head to chastity. So this one's interesting because this one's all about sexual denial. So it's a form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial where a person is prevented access to or stimulation of their genitals sometimes by the use of a chastity belt. So in my head, the first thing that came to mind was Robin Hoodman and tights.
Yeah. At the very end, whenever he has her in the bed chamber and takes off her dress, it's the wrong key And there's like this big ass chastity belt. Yeah, that's so funny. So that's what that is. But they make all sorts of stuff. Um, even if you look at a lot of, uh, these sex stores online, you'll. Penis cages as I would say I've seen like male, but yeah. Penis cage. Yeah. What's not only is that gonna prevent you from accessing yourself if it's locked.
It's also gonna make it to where if you start to get an erection, that's not gonna be the greatest feeling in the world. Oh man. Could you just imagine waking up to that like it's an accident. take it off. Take it off. Take it off. So that, that is, uh, that one is chastity. So cool. So the next one I see, um, I feel like that one's pretty self-explanatory. That is just a symbol used by a sub or slave? Uh, from a dom, essentially. Yeah. They are gifted to them.
Uh, there's a lot of different, I mean, you'll see if it's a couple that does like BDSM or they're in the lifestyle together, um, they'll get them like personalized callers and then they. If they go out, then they're supposed to wear it. It's just like a sign of like kind of a telltale sign. Also, if you're looking for other people or you're being introduced into a community like that. Yep. And you're like, oh, wait a minute, I see a collar over there. Yep. Maybe I should go talk to them.
Yep. It's a good way to know if someone's in the lifestyle. There you go. Um, oh, I love these interesting ones that are further out there. Let's go with nullification. Ooh. So this is turning into a living doll often as a desire to be owned as in the owner, which is similar to a. So this includes physical traits, uh, of stiletto, heels, rubber suits, dresses, makeup, uh, mental traits such as objectification and subservient. Ooh. So it's literally becoming, you own me.
You treat me as if I am your play thing, your doll. So you have to like move them around and like position of that. I think that's a little like straightforward Be like, I'm not being lazy, hun. I'm just, I'm going into publication right now and if you could just physically move me everywhere, that'd be great. Carrie, won't you pick one? Uh, let's go with. Dungeon monitor who?
Okay. A person or a group of people who supervises a BDSM act at a club or a party, just to make sure that everything stays safe and consensual. It's like the mediator. Yeah. I think that's mediator to have one media moderator, the person that's like the impartial Wait a minute, wait a minute. I mean, that makes sense that that exists, but I, I never even thought that that was a thing. For like a kind of like group play environment.
You could even go as far as being like the dungeon monitor is also like the one that calls the shots. Yeah. You could be the person you could throw on a a referee shirt with a whistle Oh my God. A yellow flag on the field So I think we've gone over the last two pretty frequently. They're just edging at.
I feel like this is, but I love coming back to that so much because that, for us is a really, really big one that we employ within our own lives pretty often to create like extensive foreplay that can last anywhere from hours to it can last days if we wanted to. Mm-hmm. where there's no orgasm allowed or anything like that, you just. Play with your partner. Mm-hmm. get 'em close right to the brink of orgasm and back off. Yep. And then build up again. And back off.
And trust me whenever we've said this in the past, is that once you do have an orgasm after edge play for a while, it is fantastic. It really is. It creates a whole new layer of intensity intensified. Um, so the next one is just a really super important term. Now are you taking, you taking mine? Are you taking mine now? Is that what's happening? No, you just said edging. So now I'm going. Uhuh But you described it. I just said the word. Mm-hmm. I just said the word. By all means. Take the floor.
Thanks. So the other one is hard limit. I think this one's very important to bring up because this is where communication comes into play. Mm-hmm. we both have hard limits. We've talked about those. A hard limit is an activity or a sexual act that is just off limits. Yeah. It's not happening. Don't pry, don't like, beg for it. don't make the partner feel guilty cuz they ha they are allowed to have hard limits.
Yes. And this is your hard limit would be, I can't put a strap on and fuck you in the ass. Yeah. Definitely a hard limit for me. That's a hard limit for you. Staying penetration is a hard limit for me. So I, as the person knowing that, um, will not ever push that on you. Right. Because I know it's a hard limit for you. Right. Having said that, this is the importance of the yes no maybe list, right? Mm-hmm. we have those lists where you can put those hard limits in.
So you both know where you stand. Now that's not to say you can't revisit those mm-hmm. but do it at a time whenever you've scheduled a revisitation of your hard limits. So as opposed to being like you have a partner that really wants to do something that involves anal, uh, but the other partner, it's a hard no for them. And, six months, eight months, a year down the line. you schedule a time to revisit your hard limits mm-hmm. and see where your mindset towards is at that point.
Cause these don't can change. Yeah, they can. And y'all are gonna continue to grow as a partner and they should change, you know? Yeah. So we see that all the time. We've had, we've had limits of ours change over the course of the last 14 years or so. So take without what you will. All right, so let, let's keep going on here because, um, I'm gonna go ahead and move to Impact play on this one. So we mentioned it just a minute ago. Impact Play is a type of BDSM play that involves striking.
So this is where you get like, um, you could use whips, canes, paddles, hands, a fogger, uh, riding crop, other, like literally anything that you are using to. deliver a force to your partner. Exactly. So that might be something where it is slapping your partner. Mm-hmm. that, and this could be across the face, across the back. You could cane your partner anything to, to create a force towards them. So that is impact play. Yeah. I mean, and get. Sit down and really talk about it.
Like, this is what I'm okay with, this is what I'm not okay with. Um, I don't wanna be smacked in the face, but you know my ass any day you want. Yeah. Yeah. I would be okay with using a cane. Mm-hmm. uh, but I'm not okay with using something that's metal. I would be okay with using a flocker, but not. So like go through the different tools as well. There's plenty of sources online, resources online where you can see the different types of tools for impact play and go through each one.
And then on top of that, once you choose what tools you're gonna use, go over the actual amount of force. Mm-hmm. that is acceptable. they come up with a same, and that can be a fun little game kind of too, you know, like, start, stop. Yeah. Start, stop. Those are the boundaries. Okay. That was too hard. All right. And then your partner knows kind of where to draw that line. Absolutely.
Um, so the next one is interrogation play, which I do feel like it's fairly self-explanatory, but, uh, it's again, where you play a scene that includes cross examination or torture. Now that's gonna come heavily again with just communicating, uh, and, and figuring out. Your hard limit is in that act. So anybody that's been interested in like waterboarding fantasy now's your chance. Yeah, yeah. Have, have at it. Just please, please be careful. Time it. Careful time it.
Make sure you know when, so we're not killing people. Be safe. Be careful. We have to stress this enough. Like disclaimer on this episode. Yeah. Anything we mention. Do it in a safe way. Research it first, look into it first. Find a little bit like educate yourself a little bit more about what it is and how to perform it, versus just jumping in and being like, all right, here we go. Yeah, because that is a surefire way to get hurt. So, um, let's move on to this one. Japanese bondage.
So, a, a more common term for this is shibari. So like it's where one part, one partner ties the other in very beautiful intricate patterns of rope as a method of restraint. Uh, but it can also be an art form. It's very, very much an art form. And if you follow our page, you obviously know that we're into this because we posted a lot different imagery from like shibari. It's becoming vastly popular. Uh, we actually have a lady that does shibari and she's gonna be on the podcast soon.
Oh. So this is actually really cool. I was, uh, I was in a seminar, uh, earlier this year and I listened to around an hour long lecture from, from this girl she's based outta Dallas, uh, from this person. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, is who's based out of. And they gave an entire history about shibari. They gave the history of different forms of rope ties, different kinds, and what it was used for in the past, where the, where it gets a little murky about it. Mm-hmm. and how it can be used today.
They put on an amazing lecture. Uh, they teach classes. I know. So we are working, currently working behind the scenes with them to figure out a time for them to come on the podcast and they can talk about, uh, everything to do with, with tying your partner. If they gave me permission, I would want them to time me up. Say, there you go. I think it would be so much fun. Consent. Such an inform from Carrie right there. You have consent.
So the next term I wanna read, just because I didn't know this, and I think it's good to be informed a munch. This is okay. I have not heard of this. This is the first I'm hearing this term. Yeah. See I love. An informal meeting or party, uh, uh, often at a public place where people interested in the B D S M can mingle and socialize. So when we create an event, it's like a, it's like a B D S M networking group. Exactly. When we create an event, we're gonna say, come lunche with us.
Munch housen by proxy But I am so glad that I know this term now and I'm gonna use it all the time in any, in, in any wrong way that I can use it. Uh, we're gonna munch this weekend. Exactly. No, I'm sorry. We can't. We have a munch this weekend. and we'll be like, what's that? If you know, you know, so the next one is, uh, pain slut. Um, just a submissive who craves pain. I'm a slut for pain. Yeah, right.
There's a lot of different ways we've already discussed on the ways that that can happen, but to the person that is a submissive individual that loves pain you or a pain slut. I think that we've known pain slut, first of all. You know that I'm not. He's not. But it's funny. But we have definitely met a few in our day. We have. Yes, we have. So, um, oh, I'm going straight for pegging I knew it. A lot of people know what this is.
If you are unfamiliar with the practice of pegging, this is the practice of using a strap on dildo for penetration and usually applied from a female to male, an anal act sitting on a peg like butt plug with the intent of stretching the anus to. anal six. So in most common, most circles, you're gonna hear the term pegging as referred to, uh, a vulva owner penetrating a penis owner using a strap on.
Yeah. Um, a lot of times you'd be surprised at the number of people that are actually into this level of kink. Mm-hmm. that want to experience something, but sexually speaking, they are hetero. So, and we've talked about this before too, right? Yeah. It doesn't matter. We had that question that somebody was like, if I want to get pegged, does that make me a homosexual? We're like, no, you have an attraction to, to women and you have a female doing it.
Like, there's no, there's zero, nothing gay about what you're doing. There's nothing No, fact you're kind of questioning it in the first place is a whole nother conversation. Seriously. But if you do wanna try pe. Can we aggressively encourage pulse, lube, get yourself some pulse. Personal lube. Again, get self some part pulse lube, just for pegging. So that's 10 times fast. Actually, actually does, whenever we have used this for, uh, both vaginal and anal penetration mm-hmm.
Specifically the water, water based has worked amazingly. Yep. Loved it. Um, so the next one is pet play. And the reason why I definitely wanna read this one is it's actually super common, especially for like girls on the internet right now. Mm-hmm. you'll see. them all dressed with like fox ears and cat ears. And then they'll do the dil or the, uh, the butt plugs with the foxtails. Mm-hmm. And the, so this one is really, really common.
And that's just another like scene, um, that can be done through a dom sub, uh, environment. Yeah. Or really, again, just being like unlearn and online and like what guys will like, pay for. Yeah. Like one of the biggest things is. um, pet play, essentially. They wanna see someone that acts as if they are a, a pet. Yes. So there's part of that, like ownership involved. Yeah. And I think it's also part of that innocence that's involved. I think so.
So, because a lot of 'em are like puppies or kittens and Yeah. And they're acting sweet. Exactly. Yep. Yep. Okay. Let's see. Which one do I want to go with here? Um, I'm gonna go with power exchange. So a situation where two or more people consensually and voluntarily agree to assume authority and yield authority over another. This one, I love this because, especially if this works really well, if you are somebody that does, um, a. typically participate in something like gender roles mm-hmm.
in your everyday life. Uh, for a lot of people it can be really enticing to be able to relinquish their responsibilities and relinquish power. Yeah. Or for someone that is typically in a submissive way to gain power. Mm-hmm. in the bedroom. And if you do that voluntarily and you do it consensually, it can be sexually liberating. I actually love power. I'm not one that I would ever just be a sub forever just to be a sub. Like there's no way that I could do that.
But to sometimes like play that role and kind of flip those characters, I think it actually, for me personally, just opens up more possibilities. It's not as limiting as just like a dumb sub. Yeah. As long as both parties. uh, understand when that flip may occur, uh, communicate that, uh, power exchange is one of my absolute favorites. Yeah, and it, it can become a lot of fun.
Especially, I mean, I've talked to a number of guys who are in the dominant role in their relationship, who one of their fantasies is just to be like, essentially taken over. I want to be, you know, restrained or want to be like, give away all control for the evening and just be taken. Yeah, so definitely a good one. Definitely wanted to have a conversation with your partner with, let's see. Uh, I'm gonna go into, I'm probably gonna go into safe word.
Um, that one again, you've heard us talk about it before, but it's very important if you are going to do any type of impact, impact, play, any type of bdsm, any type of act that is outside the standards of just general comfort, then you need to have a safe word. It's very important and it needs to be a word that, um, sparks. So a, a. Sense. Yeah. Alright. I'm, my safe word isn't gonna be, oh baby, my safe word isn't gonna be, uh, stop. Stop. Right.
Like it can't be something that was within the moment. That's why I think I joke and say like, pineapple sometimes. Yeah. Or orange. Something to wear. It is something out there. Something obscure, something. you know, and, and so opposite too, that it's not gonna be mis like with a role play act that you're doing or something. It needs to be a very defined word. Um, now they, I have seen where some people do like a gesture, but even then you have to be careful. Those aren't always seen.
Yeah. Um, so understand your safe word before you play and don't change it up either. Have a safe word, keep it that safe word, uh, and, and then allow for a lot of fun to happen. Yeah. Plus understand that, um, a lot of times whenever you're dealing with safe words, the reason you don't want it to be you don't know or stop mm-hmm. or something that's a, a negative connotation is because people wanna be able to use those words. safely, sometimes it can help you. Mm-hmm.
actually to, to increase your pleasure by being able to say no. And don't, and stop and, and exactly. And live out that fantasy. So by creating something obscure, something that you both can agree on that is, that's just out there. Mm-hmm. that's maybe light and airy and fruity even. Yeah. Which is why like pineapple Yeah. Just something that would immediately change those senses. Yeah. You're gonna know, oh wait, now that feels different. Yes. Now I need to stop. All right.
So that, there we go. There. Mm-hmm. We're gonna move through a few, just a few more of these. Um, so we've already talked about a little bit, but shibari Yeah, we already talked about that. Yeah. So that was that, that western name for kink. Aoo, you know, we're talking about tying people up in intricate ways. Mm-hmm. Um, so let's go, let's go with sissy. Yeah. So a sissy is a male sub who uses feminization and dressing as a girl to reach a different emotional or mental state. Hmm. Male sub.
It might be sissy. That's kind of cute. It might be somebody that wants to, that just gets off on doing that. Mm-hmm. and it might be somebody that in their normal every day to day life is dominant, is authoritative. That just wants to go into the bedroom and be a sissy. Yeah, yeah. Don't assume that a sissy is just, uh, a more fragile man. Like, no, there are like some serious aggressive men that look for that, um, behavior that they, they're allowed to become this other person.
So yeah, they're a little sissy and I think it. You want me to read the next one? The soft limits, uh, an activity limit that is more flexible than a hard limit. It might be an act that a person hesitates to perform or scared to engage in, but may be willing to try. This is your maybe on the ma, on the Yes. No, maybe yes. And this is where communication and safe words are going to be insanely important. Sometimes you don't know if it's a hard limit because you've never done it.
So then allow yourself to say, Hey, that's not a no. that's, so we need to explore this further first, and then again, the biggest thing I'm gonna stress through soft limits is having a safe word and keeping that line of communication solid until you're through with the act. And so you can, they can kind of gauge whether they want to continue or not or do whatever again. Yeah. Cool. That's, and if that also, uh, real quick, I'm gonna add on to that.
Yeah. If you are exploring your soft limits and convers. because we've had this question before. Mm-hmm. if it's something that you wanna do, but your partner has it as a soft limit, don't bring it up again and again. Oh yeah, we did. Kinda don't, don't obsessively just bring it up time and time again in the hopes that it's gonna change. Like get, just be patient, be patient, be patient. Have the conversation. Don't push anything. That's, that was a little pushy anyways. Yeah, exactly.
So then, um, why don't I go ahead and I'll, I'll, I'll talk. Switch. We already did that one. We did a switch. Yeah. It's the same thing as the, um, it's not the same thing as anything. It's, it's its own word. love enough to the, uh, where you like switch off, whether you're a Dahmer hub. Mm-hmm. um, Yeah, no, I mean, I guess let's do that one then. Which one? Topping from the bottom.
Yeah, so topping from the bottom is when a bottom tries to control a scene, even though it was agreed that the top would be in charge. This one is a, is a little bit of murky waters too. Yeah. Because if you've already agreed to something, like you need to have that, that discussion that it's uh, up for, up in the air, that it might be a soft limit before the scene ever starts. Yep. I love that they call it scene too. That's my favorite. because it really, it it does. That's what it becomes.
Mm-hmm. is a scene and act that you and your partner get to do together. And again, bringing this like closeness to it. So understanding these terms, understanding like your boundaries with your partner. Those are all really solid ways to just enhance your sex in your bedroom. Yeah. So that, that's a solid list of mm-hmm. of BDSM kink terms that we, we kind of have here and we're gonna keep adding. once we have our own ready mm-hmm. we will, we'll send that out to everybody.
Uh, we're also gonna be doing another episode in the future on, on lifestyle terms and definitions. That's a good one. I think this, that's a good one. Think that'll be a good episode. Mostly because a lot of people are like, I don't know what half this stuff means. Mm-hmm. And at this point I'm too afraid to ask. Exactly. So if you didn't understand these terms, then I guarantee you when we do this episode on understanding like the, um, lifestyle terminology.
Yeah. It'll be the lifestyle role playbook, Well, even. lifestyle and sexuality would, if somebody doesn't know what it truly means to be asexual. Mm-hmm. we're gonna go further into what those kind of terms mean. So you can better understand with curiosity the people that are around you and engage with them in such a way that is productive as opposed to being judgmental and closed off towards them. Exactly.
And then when you know these terminologies and someone spits out something that's wrong, you can look at them and be like, that's Bocky Exactly. See, This is why I love you So that is our list for the day. Yep. And that is another episode of Come With kc. I am Dr. Casey Sanders. And I am Carrie Sanders. Bye bye.