#483 – Look What I Can Do

I'm going to start doing this to you. No, you're not going to start. No, no. What I'm about to read is what I'm going to do to you. I have to consent. You can't you can't just force me. I'm bigger than you. This is called bald skull fucking. The woman is the man's possession, not the other way around. I'm going to remind you right now. You have no say. I'm the only one with say here.

Okay. I don't have a mystery hole either. There's no hole there. Yeah, you do. There's no hole. No. I'm not even going to fucking say it. I'm not going to entertain your bullshit. It's not happening. I'll do it. You're not gonna do it. You're not going near him. I'll show you. I'll show you. Nope. Yep.

Just lightly. I'll just say right there. No. And I'm not going to go poof. I'm not going to do pressure. Okay. You're using all of these words, none of which I am taking into consideration at all. I'm going to let you know that right now. No consideration.

well for you bald guys out there this one's for you the bald skull trend is coming around the weekend has landed all that exists now is clubs drugs pubs and parties i've got 48 hours off from the world man i'm gonna blow steam out of my head like a screaming kettle i'm gonna talk

Cod shit to strangers all night. I'm going to lose the plot on the dance floor. The free radicals inside me are freaking, man. Tonight I'm Chip Travolta. I'm Peter Popper. I'm going to never, never land with my chosen family, man. We're going to get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did. Anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life.

I've got 73 quid in my back burner. I'm going to watch the lot, man. The Milky Bars are on me. And now, live from Rule 34 Studio, I bring you a girl that knows exactly who is on that list. Here she is, your host, the one, the only, kinky kitty. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the show. This is Kinky Katie's World Number 483. I am your host, Kinky Katie. And with me, as always, is my absolute favorite bluster of it. Excuse me.

Favorite flesh covering book toy? The one they only must arrest you. Choke on it. You can just choke. I do sometimes. As a matter of fact. Hit the you, you little baby. Okay. We are coming to you from Rule 34 Studio. Yeah. Yeah. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's it.

I am so full of barbecue right now, so excuse me if I burp and stuff. What if you poop your pants? No, that I won't do. Okay. That's what you say. No, I will leave. It's a rumor. You're going to have to take over if that happens. No, we're not live. I don't have to do shit. I just hit pause. Oh, yeah, that's right. Or I just let it record. Screw it. It doesn't matter. Should I take the mic with me? Okay. That's weird. Should you just hear it? No.

Let's not be gross. Some people pay for that. Okay, some people would, but I'm just saying. You know, your average Kiki Katie's World listener really isn't here for the ASMR, I think. I'm just going to go out on a limb here.

I like that. It's all talking. What is? Single people wanting to pay for stuff. There is this dude. He sent me kind of this creepy email. No. And, well, I forwarded it to you. Oh, that one. like that you're like no and you're like oh that one no that was sarcasm no somebody sent you a creepy email no never that doesn't happen that's okay it happens all the time but i mean this one just stood out okay yeah no it did it was it was pretty strange

I have to say it did make me a little uncomfortable. Well, you say that. However, there are a lot of people who want to tell you all about their niche. you know, a fetish, you know what I mean? No, but like, and they want to show you pictures and yeah. And that's fine. But the only thing that made me a little uncomfortable about it were, I mean, he sent me like 86 pictures. Well, you need to tell the whole story. Okay. Jumping in the middle of it.

But I think – I mean it works better for everybody else. I know the story though. This guy likes to take photographs of kind of amateur porn stars in a – he likes to crucify them. And take pictures of them on a cross. Yeah. Like tied up in a crucified position. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Not actually. Not nailed. Right. Right. I haven't seen that in real life. So.

I mean, that's something neither one of us has seen, I think. I don't think either one of us has seen anybody get crucified, have we? No. No. Some suspensions and stuff like that, but that doesn't count. But no. Yeah. No. Anyway. So anyway. So a couple of – I mean just naked to lingerie but mostly – I mean if it's lingerie, it's like a garter belt but your puss and your tits are hanging out. Those are the kind of pictures he likes to take of old porn stars.

No, not old. Oh. Amateur. Okay. Sorry. Not mature. Well, all I heard was mature. Which is the problem because what bothered me is some of them looked young. Hmm. Hmm. But I mean, there are women that are in the adult industry. that are in their twenties and they look like they're 12 and they're like, I'm banking on this shit. Yeah. I mean, we've known lots of girls that like keep, you know, have the braces and stuff like that. They look like they're 13 and you know, they make it.

Good living. A girl I knew, she got braces put on and she didn't even need them. Right. And it like tripled her income. Right. Right. Well, that one girl that we would see all the time at the horror cons there, she was like a redheaded girl. Cherry Poppins? It could have been. It could have been. I mean, because I wasn't hanging around them.

much as you were because you were like at the convention all day. I was part of it. Right. So you probably I don't remember who she was, but I just remember there was a there was a red hair girl I'd seen at two or three of the cons that really in person looked about 14. years old. Yeah. And then when you talk to her, she's like, no, I'm 28. Like she wasn't even close to 14. She wasn't like she was 19. No.

I'm 28. And we've talked about Max Hardcore a bunch of times on here. And if you're familiar with Max Hardcore movies, he does very aggressive porn and he has the girls in his porn look pretty young and always has them dressed like... big barrettes and pigtails and stupid little graphic t-shirts with little kitties on you know they make sure try to make you look like a like a little girl but like in a

cartoony way you get the idea right everybody gets the idea yeah of what they're doing yeah especially nowadays but um so she she looked like straight out of one of those movies right Right.

Well, that's the problem when somebody sends you a bunch of their fetish photos. It's like I don't know what any of this is. Like I don't know if these people consented. I don't know. It's like I don't know anybody in those pictures or you personally. So I don't know. exactly what your gig is because I don't – I just – No, you really need to pre-run your –

Like if you want to send Katie something and say, hey, I really have this cool fetish. I mean, because honestly, we kind of like hearing about it. I do. We really do. But before you actually send photos, you need to say like, hey, here's some photos. There's some people in here. Everybody's of age. Everybody's consenting. You need to kind of tell us that, yes, you need to confirm.

You know what I mean? Well, I mean, at least at minimum. Right. Right. Well, he did say that in the email. Like I didn't I just I read what I wanted to read. I was like, oh, my God. No, I read the whole thing. You know, he did say that everybody was consenting. And I believe he said of age, but I'm pretty sure. I believe. But still, I mean, that's just someone putting words on a page. Sure is. I mean, you showed me their faces and I still.

I don't know who you are, so I don't know if you're trustworthy or not. But anyway, it's just – but then I'm also thinking about, all right, I look twice as old as they do. My body – is twice as old as theirs you know i am not thin i am not Did you lose your clicky thing already? No, no, no. I wanted to do a restart. I had to just change it and I can't talk and do things at the same time. It's just impossible.

I've seen you do things when you're high, so that's not true. Hush! Totally. Every episode, you've been high. Every one of them. I know, but that's just me talking. I haven't been multitasking. Okay. I can't even shoot a cat off the table without stopping. Hang on. We need a break. So what were you saying? All right. So, I mean, he said they were all consenting. But yeah, but I do not fit any of those women.

Every single one of those pictures, they're all younger than me. They're all thinner than me. They're all kind of gravity hasn't hit yet. So like none of them are tattooed. It's just weird. Like I don't fit this thing at all. And it's okay if he just wanted to. Show it to me and tell me all about it. That's cool. That's fine. But it just gets a little weird when you're like, you want to do this to me?

Why? What do you mean why? That's a dumb question. It doesn't fit his mold. How do you know? He's just showing you the prettiest girls that he took photos of. That's all. Look, he's showing you his faves. You know. You know what I mean. Okay. That's not necessarily what he does most of it. Who knows? Who knows?

These are my faves. You're not getting on this wall. I just want to see you strung up, pig. But maybe, maybe, maybe he thought they would be your faves. You know what I mean? Maybe they're not his actual faves, but he thought they would be more crowd-pleasing. That this would be enticing to me.

Right. This is going to make her want to do this. Well, that's exactly why he sent you the pictures is because he was hoping that you would see them just like a dick pic. Same thing. Well, yeah, but you see it and you're just going to go, oh, my God, I need that now. But he's also trying to be transparent. Like, hey, this is what I'm talking.

about. And these are all the people that I've done it to. Well, you know, people just like sharing their kink. I know. I mean, that's that's like 90 percent of it. When somebody sent something like, are you into this and sent you 100 pictures? It's like you just want me to see all your pictures.

Yeah. And I mean that's OK. But you could just say, hey, can you look at my pictures? I think they're cool. Some people – do surprisingly some people say like hey would it be cool if i showed you my wiener and i'm like yeah kind of how you should do it if you want to show somebody your wiener you probably i mean it's a better idea for sure well sometimes it's like like can i show you like would you would you look at this right

Right. Can I have an honest opinion? I'm like, yes, because sometimes people will draw it out, though, which I think is kind of cute. And that's nice because they don't know me yet. But I was wondering. And do this little story. I already know right away. I'm like, you want me to look at your dick. But you're not coming out and saying it.

Would you take a look at something and see, like, is this normal? And I'm like, Jesus Christ. I'm like, do you want me to look at your dick? He's like, yeah. I'm like, well, then just send me your dick. He's like, can I see your pussy? I'm like, it's online. Go find it. Go fetch, boy. I don't know. We saw the new Superman movie yesterday. I liked it. Did we? Did we watch that? I don't know. Did we? I don't know. You were sitting right next to me the whole time. Oh, no. Well, anyway, I had fun.

That's what you're doing. Accidentally, yeah. Accidentally, yeah? Well, it jumped into a weird spot.

Anyway. So, would you like to know about the largest vagina ever recorded? Because I think you do. Okay. I mean, I doubt it's the largest one ever, but it's the largest one ever recorded. Okay, go ahead. That's why I said that, ever recorded. Well, because that's what the article said. That's why you said that. I'm just going to bring that. I'm throwing that out there right now. It's not because you knew that. Her name is Anna Bates.

She's dead now. But at her tallest – She any relation to Martha Bates? Martha Bates? Martha Bates. Spread Bates' sister. No, but I prefer Master. OK. Could be Master. Either way, what about this beach bitch? She was 7'11 and a half inches tall. Wow. She opened 24 hours? No. She did Japan too. I hear it's really nice in Japan. 7'11 is. 7'11"? 7'11"? She's almost 8 foot. Yeah, she's half an inch off of 8 foot. My God. And she weighed 419 pounds. That's large. I mean –

I guess at 7-Eleven, what would your body mass – you know what I mean? Right. You'd have to weigh three-something at least. At least. At minimum. I mean she said – and it says that she had – I mean like – Oh, that's an old one.

Wow. Yeah. But that's back in like 1800 inches. So really, she's only 6'3". 1800 inches. Well, their inches are smaller back then because they were tiny. They were tiny people. A put was like a half a put. Oh, my God. Well, our feet are getting bigger. So as they get bigger. The foot gets bigger. I'm into foot binding. 7-11. I don't know. That picture I just looked at, it didn't look like the person standing next to him. Like, what was that? Like 6-2? Like, I don't know. I don't know.

Because when you look at like Shaq standing next to somebody, he's only like 7'1 or something like that, right? Shaq is – 7'0". Well, I know we're talking almost a foot taller than Shaq. And when Shaq stands next to any normal human, it looks way worse than that picture. You know what I mean? Is it me or does it seem that way? I don't know. I think they were stretching her out by a foot. I think she was 6'11". They're lying. P.G. Barnum. Well, anyway. That wasn't really a wolf boy.

That was just a hairy, hairy kid. Should I just fuck the story all together and just throw it out? Come on, lady. You got to roll with it. Jesus. Just because we're not live doesn't mean you don't have to roll with stuff. You just like give up. Usually you fight back. Now you're just like, oh, fuck it. Fuck it.

Well, I'm trying to fight back. I'm not going to fight back. I don't care. Because you don't care. Fuck this bitch. No, you got to jump on her with me. You got to join in on the trash. And you're right. She doesn't seem 7-Eleven. They're fucking lying to us. They're full of shit. Well, I've never seen anyone 7-Eleven. In person, I haven't either. In person. I've never even seen Shaq in person. No, I haven't either. I mean, I'm trying to think of.

I think I've been to a basketball game when he played, but that's kind of hard to tell. You know what I mean? You're like 200 feet above him. I was like, yeah, I have never been on court. Right. Well, but you can obviously see when they're standing next to regular humans down on the court, you're like, oh, my God, they're really big. Right. Holy shit. Right. They really are that tall.

Anyway, the bitch had a baby and the baby was 23 pounds and the head was 19 inches in circumference. That might be the biggest pussy though. So she dilated at 15 centimeters. No. And the average taps out at 10. Like that's what we're missing back in the 1800s, the old-timey pictures, is we weren't getting any like really good up-snatch shots. I mean there were some. Up-snatch. Well, like prolapses and stuff like that.

You don't see a lot of that. Like where's the crowning baby head that's coming out of the world's largest vagina that ever existed? Well, I think, you know, photographs. Took a long time back then. Sit still, kid. Sit still. What's your problem? Push the soft spot back. Oh, no. That's where we plant the flag when he comes out.

Oh, God. Right. The soft spot. So it sticks. Okay, I heard someone say that – I don't know if you're watching it with me, but like, yeah, I have a new baby and the soft spot's real. It's an actual thing. What? She did not know that it was an actual thing? It was a he. What? It was a he. He's newborn.

And he said, it's a real thing. Oh, my God. Skin. Oh, my God. Your brain. He goes, but he's so cute. I just want to take a boba straw and shove it in there. I was like, what's wrong with you, bro? That's your own kid. Cute aggression. I mean, no. it's not it's cute aggression that is shoving a straw into the soft spot of an impet is not cute aggression well he said to suck out his little brain and eat it all no no no that's not the way that is just regular wow

Is that the same person who wanted to crucify you? No. Are you sure? No. Would you know? Yes. How would you know? Because the one who said the thing about the boba straw is a famous person who has a lot of money. God, see, that makes a lot of sense now. The dudes with a lot of money want to do some real sick shit. They want to fucking boba straw a kid's brain. My God. Fresh steps out. I saw one of those videos the other day. I was telling you. Yeah.

Where – and it's so – it's like one of those inspirational things when you get to watch a video and somebody is paralyzed and they're looking at you and they're like, hey, hey, look what I learned to do today. And they see their toe go – they're like, oh my god.

But that's awesome, though. That's what I just said. It's inspirational. It's just seeing somebody get all jacked up and you're like, OK, what's going to happen? What's going to happen? And then you're like, oh, my God, you can't move your feet. Now you can.

Well, you still can't move your feet, but you can wiggle your toe. But you can wiggle your toe. That's something. That's a start. I'm having Bill, Bill, Kill Bill flashbacks. Wiggle your big toe. Stuck in the pussy wagon. Buck is coming back in here in a second.

We want to get out before that happens. Because he likes to party. He does. Well, just going back to – since we just watched Superman, but that episode we're talking about from South Park. Did we talk about Superman? Not yet. But we said that we watched it and you said, did we? Did we? But you were looking for Pecker. No, I wasn't looking for it. I like wrecked everything trying to play it. So I was trying to fix everything.

Like it would have played really quickly, but all of my orders, everything went awry and I went, oh my God. And then I had to fix everything. Yeah. Well, South Park did an episode and it had Superman and it had Christopher Reeves in it. Yeah, and he was sucking stem cells straight from fetuses. And all of a sudden, he's like, look what I can do. And then he lifted up his little finger. Look what I can do. And then, well, towards the end, he became like, Superman.

Yeah. Right. Everyone is shitting on it. I liked it. I liked it too. I thought it was good. I mean, it's a superhero movie. Whatever. I did. I mean, I ate a biscuit before I went. Right. Well, when I first got in there, so I laughed through a lot of it. Right. Well, you were giggling, too, and you didn't even have a biscuit, but I knew what you were laughing at, and it was funny to me, too. Well, at any time.

Anytime some billionaire corporate overlord is getting his fucking comeuppance, I'm going to giggle like a bitch. I'm going to giggle like a little child. Right. Every time. That was what that movie was good for. If you just really – Parallels. Right, parallels. And if you really hate certain people and you would like to see something happen to them and you can. You just go see the –

Superman movie. Bad things happen to the bad people, which is nice. It's good to see that that still happens today. I do think it's hilarious that – spoilers, but I don't give a shit – that Supergirl. Came in at the end. Right. And she's like all like fucked up. She doesn't care. She's hung over. Thanks for watching my dog. She's like throwing around. She's like, yeah, good dog. It was actually pretty funny, actually. We laughed a lot, but we were high as fuck. Yeah. But there was a lot of.

funny well there was a lot of funny parts i thought right and most of them were just being violent to assholes like it's a comic book movie there's got to be some outlandish shit but it's funny like they're trying to have a serious talk and it was like fuck all going on in the background you're like

what the hell is going on back there right it's like oh you just want to make out and it's like don't you want to save them right now they got it yeah and me and we don't like watch most of the superhero movies at all

We just too many. Right. Right. Well, yeah, we just we we had an afternoon. So we're like, hey, hey, a lot of people are saying this movie sucks or they love it. We don't know. So why don't we go to go see a matinee? We did. It was nice. Right. I enjoyed it. I had a good time. And there was some guy that kept farting like really loud. There wasn't that many people in the theater. And it was a small theater. But there was a couple of elderly people. It was...

My back right, like four rows up. Okay. And you couldn't hear. I couldn't hear. When it went quiet, it was like. I mean, it was rumble farts. That's one of those panic situations you have when you're in a theater and it's like that and it's not very big. And you're like, oh, please, Lord, just let it be quiet. Just come on. And they weren't.

Because eventually after the fourth one, the woman got up and he got up and like scurried. So they left and they never came back. Really? Yeah. Well, you know why they didn't come back. Why? They're red hat wearers. You know what I mean? They had enough. They were like, I had enough of this shit. I'm out of here. My hands are on my pearls. I'm white knuckled on my pearls the whole time.

This movie's causing me anxiety. It's making my stomach churn. I'm gonna shit myself. Where's the sexy green M&M? They always take out the sexy green M&M. I really, you know, if I knew that the theater was that tiny, I would have liked to sit in the back so I could vape like a degenerate. Well, I mean if the people – we didn't think that – we should have went to the first showing instead of – we should have went to the 11 o'clock instead of the 11.45 on a Monday.

on a fucking monday well it just came out so whatever no but we did at least we got there at a good time because the one right after i was like everyone was swarming to the theater and we're like jesus christ no i know well they were bringing the kids too you know Yeah. Just bringing all that crotch fruit. All that crotch fruit would have been in the theater with us. No. I know. Somebody else's crotch fruit too. I'd have to sit next to somebody. Ew. I really hate that and that's so just –

It's not even close to as bad as it used to be. Theaters now are like pretty comfortable. You know what I mean? They are. Like even if it was packed, it wouldn't be the end of the world because, you know, the seats are big. They kind of recline. You know what I mean? It's really not a bad situation anymore to go to the movie theaters. I can tell you, though, I got spoiled. When you took me to see the scariest fucking movie I've seen in a long time. You took me to see Open Water at this...

Oh, where they surf boot and shit. The Medicio or whatever. Yeah, whatever the fuck it was. I don't know. It's this fucking awesome movie theater, but you sit in this couch that's enclosed and it's got surround sound and you've got trays and fucking shit. Right, right.

send people to like give me a bottle of wine and they bring it to you and you're like I want some sushi and they're like here you go and I'm like watching the movie dude it was so fucking nice it is but you're like you're dropping 30 bucks on a ticket you know I think it was $25 or $30 for a movie ticket at that place. And that was years ago, too. And that was per purse. But you got free popcorn with that. Well, yeah. Well, you should. But we got like fucking...

Wine and – Well, yeah, because they served alcohol. Right. And I was watching a movie that was giving me anxiety. I just like to drink really. Well, yeah. There is that. I mean I'm not trying to cover up for any like – anxiety or anything like that but you know i just i just like to be i don't like alcohol i just like the taste sure you do i do actually though no i depends on what it is really well yeah you don't like vodka

Not straight, no. No, I know. You don't like the taste of that, but you drank it all the time. Yeah. Yeah, because you like the effect. Yeah. And when you mixed it with other things, you could go, I could drink this with this. Right. It's only half nasty. It covers up the rubbing alcohol. Right. Flavor. Well, yeah, because I bought the cheap shit because that's all I could afford. Not all the time, but – Right. Not all the time. Yeah. We were just garbage cans now, so it didn't – like –

Like you would have to have like three mortgage houses to be able to afford the top shelf, you know, the way we drank. Yeah. Well, I mean, for a while we were going through handles of Crown.

And then we switched to like Seagram 7 or something. You know what though? Or Canadian Club. If you're into Crown Royal, like a Canadian style whiskey, which is just like – it's whiskey that's not as fucking gnarly. I like it. I like it too. Canadian whiskey is my favorite. It's a little milder. I like it. Smooth. Anyway, if you're into that and you're into like Crown, that's one of the main brands, you know, popular wise and expensive too.

But like Seagram's VO is really close to that and it's like half the price. And it's really good if you're into Canadian whiskey. Anyway. I like it. That's your alcohol tip of the day. And if you're really irresponsible, sometimes you can find them in a plastic container. Right. Well, they're almost always in a plastic. The VO bottles we were getting were always plastics. Yeah. Yeah.

There's this West Virginia couple. They were naked having sex in a stolen RV when a cop pulled them over. Okay, wait a minute. They were driving? Oh, they were just having sex while driving. They were having sex while driving. But it was an RV. It was a stolen RV.

Oh, well, I was about to say why, like, if you're in a regular RV, like you're just cruising along, like, and you stop and you had sex, like you weren't driving. How would the fuck, like, go away, man. Like, yeah, we're screwing it here. It's my house. Go watch YouPorn or something. What's happening? There's a traffic stop and –

There was a passerby yelled out that the occupants had switched seats before the officer made contact with them. Okay. And she's like, yeah, so what were you doing while the vehicle was in motion? She just responded, we were fucking. So, I mean, like, she was open about it. Like, yeah, we're fucking. What? You can't do that? What are you talking about? They're like, no, you can't do that. And then they switch seats.

when the when they stopped i don't know so like i think like he had priors or some shit like that somebody probably did he probably didn't have a license it's probably a i've done that before well the girl i was with wasn't very good at it either Well, they ran the plates on the RV and it's reported stolen. Jacked. Yeah. Yeah. So they're arrested for indecent exposure, drug possession, DUI, possession of a stolen vehicle.

Yeah. They pleaded not guilty. Well, of course. You always plead not guilty. What do you mean? It's like, how can you plead not guilty? Easy. Not guilty. I didn't do it. That cop is on drugs. And after you admitted, we was fucking.

Yeah, but how do you know I admit it? Is that what the cop is saying? He says a lot of things, that cop. Does he have quotas? I bet he has a quota, doesn't he? I don't know. What are his previous arrests like? Does he have any complaints? Right. I don't think it's their fault at all.

I think they were doing everything right. I think he's the one with the drug problem. He planted them on me. This is what I'm saying. And I'm saying that that RV wasn't even stolen. He was just watching too much breaking bad and decided to pull over an RV thinking there was going to be a meth lab inside. And did he find it? No. So he planted it there. Right. We were just having sex because we wanted a thrill. Right. You never trust a cop. What are you doing? Never take their word.

This is like a rollover from your earlier days of cop trusting. I still do. I don't know why. I don't know why. I've never had a problem. Okay, I have. I know. I know. So. I had an internship with Brad Sheriff's Department. Yeah, no. You cannot, just like any other person, any other person, the cops are people just like people are people. And some people do fucked up shit to other people.

You know what I mean? Yeah. People in power use their power incorrectly a lot of times. It's a bizarre thing. Happens all the time now. I know. Yeah. I'm just saying it hasn't happened to me. It has. You just don't remember. No, I know. I know. But I. You don't remember at all. Hey, I'm just happy as fuck. I didn't get a DUI. Right. Because I was smashed. Right. So let's just call it. We're even? No. We're just never even.

You don't ever forgive them for being dicks. Don't ever do it. There's been so many times that I should have gotten a DUI. I should have gone to jail. But I didn't. Right. But that doesn't mean that that. Like in the particular instance I'm talking about. I didn't blow anybody either. Well, the two cops that we're talking about just weren't doing their job and were mad at us because they weren't doing their job. Yes, we were shit faced. And yes, we were on the road.

They did not know this. And if they would have, they would have arrested us. But they didn't. They were fucking, why don't you see this tape that's strewn across a four-lane road 100 feet away? At three in the morning. In yellow light. In yellow light. Yellow tape. How did you not see it until you pulled up within 10 feet of it and it stopped and then turned around? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

So the cops were being – There's a body. We're like, where? Where? Everything is gone, bro. They had had an accident at some point on this road and this was literally three lanes one way and three lanes the other and it's a city street.

you know, with a median. So we pull up to this traffic light. It's red. There's a cop on the far side directly across from us in the turning lane. Two cops, two cop cars just sitting there. No lights on, nothing. Guys are just standing out there in front of their... cop cars there isn't a soul around not another car not another thing when you look across there was an accident

on the same direction that we were going on the other side of the intersection. So they had strung a police tape from their car over to the light pole three lanes over. So this was 100 fucking feet away from us. at night in yellow lights with yellow tape. So we start pulling forward just like you would when a light turns green because there's nothing, there's no wreck car, there's no...

There's no glass on the grid. There's no nothing. No one's directing traffic. Yeah, they're just standing there talking to each other on the opposite side. So you pull out slowly, and when you get about halfway through the intersection, you stop.

And you go, oh shit, there's a police tape there. And literally you stop and then the cops looked at you and were like, goddammit, what the fuck are you doing? And then they run over and they start screaming at me. Right. Just like because those two assholes were supposed to be.

directing fucking traffic. Right. And they were blowing each other. They were doing something over there they shouldn't have been doing. And you know it because that's why they acted the way they acted. So fuck those two. Anyway, nobody talks to my baby like that. Cop or not, I don't care who it is. I hate you forever.

Just understand that out there. If you're ever mean to Katie in any way, shape, or form, I will never forgive you. And not only will I never forgive you, you're going to hear from me every time I see you. Even if you were shit-faced when you said it, every time I see you. I'm going to bring it up and I'm going to bring it up every time to embarrass you and to make you a little scared for sure. Don't be mean to Katie. Thank you. It's unacceptable. Thank you, baby. Should go without saying. Yes.

But nobody's mean to me. Except for those two cops. They were mean. Yeah. I told them to. Yeah, you did. You were like, oh, my God, you could talk to cops that way. Not really. No. And also I was like 24 years old and I was hammered. Yeah. Driving. Right. Well, that wasn't the first time that happened. No, it was not. And it wasn't the last time either. No, we were dumb like that. Even when I tapped the person in front of me's bumper.

I wasn't conscious for that. No, you weren't. I don't really know what happened. We were half naked. Right. Oh, God. It's like 10 in the morning. Right. On a Sunday. That's bad. Yeah.

I agree. That's why I wasn't driving. Dude, I would not like this culture. I wouldn't like to adapt this kind of culture. There's a – There's some tribes in Nepal. I like to call it nipple. I mean, that's just me. That's not really what it is. But, you know, that's me. Go ahead. I'm sorry. They practice polyandry.

Now, what this is, is all the brothers share one woman. So they don't have too many children for their farmland, limited farmland. So basically, if there's five brothers, they're all fucking one bitch. Wait a minute. I mean I get the idea. Like I really get the idea. However, like roughly like there's always going to be about half female and half male.

Right. Like it's something like that. Maybe they say, I think females are a little more common for whatever reason. I don't know. I seem to think that there are more females than males. Right. Okay. So you're in this, you're in this culture that the brothers share and that's fine.

Break it off. Do it. Do what you want. But where do the other ladies go? Like, obviously, there's only so many boys. And then where are the extra girls? Like if five of the Smith brothers are over there banging Barbara, well, who's banging Francis? Hmm. Who has she got a puck? Well, maybe they have. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know either. There's more men. Maybe that's all they. I have no idea. Maybe they just put them, put the little baby. You're like, they do that the old Chinese way.

You know, back when they had the two baby limit, you know what I mean? Yeah. The 300 style right off a cliff. Oh God. And then, but what if, what if like one of the brothers, like, Oh, what if all your brothers are kind of are older than you? You're like maybe eight or nine years behind. Well, and then you're like seven years old and you're you're climbing in bed with your 27 year old.

Yeah. Do you do that or do you wait? Well, if it's a different culture, they probably just do it. They probably do. I mean, you know what I mean? It's your wife. What do you what do you mention words for? That's true. Maybe the brother helps you out with it. Like gives you some like diagram, cheers you on. Hey, man, this is what you need to do. Yeah.

Like, what do you and your brothers run a train on your wife? I don't. Here again. It would be OK if you grew up that way. You wouldn't feel weird about it. No, you wouldn't. You'd feel totally like, oh, that's just what you do. Yeah. But from our perspective, that seems like, oh, God.

Why am I fucking anywhere near my family members? Like, what is happening here? That would be like me being married to you and your brother. That would be strange. That would be very strange. Yeah. Well, especially since he's dead. It'd be really. Well, then it works out because then it's just you. A pile of ash on a table or something. We make them watch. We make all the family watch. Now we got like 10 dead bodies at the house. Not actual bodies, but you know what I mean. Cremated bodies.

You drop them. We're like the last two in our families. Yeah. So like we have all of the dead people. Yeah. We're like generations. I don't know how that happens. A couple pets too. Right. Yeah. Like we inherited pets. We did. We have the death shelf. And remains. And cabinet. Right. Wall. We have a whole wall of death. So we're thinking of taking one of the cabinets, those glass cabinets, just making it all fucking gothy and just make it...

Death. The dead chest. The dead chest. Stick everybody in there. I mean, it's an appropriate display, really. It really is. All the family gets displayed with honor. Everybody's together. Right. So we want to make it a little creepy. We have to carry the bodies around. Like what are we going to do? Nobody said, hey, spread my ashes here. No. Or bury my ashes there. No. They were like, I don't know. All my mother said is she wanted to be put in a crystal sugar dish and put on the –

Kitchen table. Right. We just haven't found the right container for her yet. Right. Right. I have my – well, my grandmother is in a crystal-like perfume bottle. We have that. Well, part of her anyway. Well, yes. The family split her up. Oh, yeah. She's all over the place. She's in Michigan. She's in Texas. She's in here. Yeah. She's in here. Right. So we're kind of like the death bringers now. We've ushered out like –

Yeah, people die in this house too. Right, really. They never leave. We've gone through both of our mothers and fathers in a couple of years. And the previous owners died here too. Right, right. This house is wow. Right. Wow. The death farm. There's random bullet holes. There are random. That was mostly my father, to be fair. I mean, really, to be fair. I know, but it's just like. I mean, they were random. Yes, they're random. Yes.

But they weren't – he wasn't shooting at anybody. But it's like I don't get freaked out or spooked out when I go into certain rooms. I don't either. We don't go. We don't go into the death rooms. We don't go into most of the rooms. Right. What is this shit? All of a sudden like like we move we move in to take care of everybody. Everybody dies. And now we have.

my father's house and i don't want just we just like cohabitate in our little in our area that we we walled off for ourselves right and i don't go in any of the other rooms i don't care if i see them i close the door that's it That's it. They're gone. And they serve no purpose in my life. None at all. I don't even want to do a hobby in there or anything. I have more space than I need anyway. Yeah.

That's dead people problems. Dead people problems. Not everybody has dead people problems like we do. Oh, my God. That's all right. Oh, well, there's another tribe. But they have a very sexually liberated culture. Okay. Yeah. They have mixed-sex dormitories where adolescents are sent to practice premarital sex and sometimes with a single partner and sometimes serially.

But who's doing the practicing? The kids. They're all fucking each other. Well, I know, but is it just the boys that are doing the fucking or the girls are doing the fucking too? Both. Who's teaching these kids? Themselves. They're learning. They don't know. Kids don't know. Maybe older things. I don't know. It says they're discouraged from becoming emotionally attached to their parents. Oh, partners. Sorry. To their partners. What does that have to do with sex? Wait a minute. Hang on.

Don't be emotionally attached. Just fuck your father. No. Well, I know. I'm right. Kill your mother. Fuck your father. Huh? Is that how that goes? For you, it would. Yeah. Well, you're a female. It works that way for you. For me, it's the other way around. Gross. Yep. So gross. Are people still bleaching their buttholes? I'm sure they are. I mean, because I've...

Noticed lately? Well, not lately. I've been noticing for a little bit now. They're not anymore. Buttles are going brown. They're going back au naturel. Well, it's a lot less upkeep that way for sure. I mean it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other. It is what it is. It kind of is. I don't care if you got a dark butthole. Most buttholes you come across, that's how they are.

I mean it just is. Whatever the reason is, the skin gets darker around your bung. You know what I mean? It's because it's shit. Maybe. I don't know. No, because the same thing happens in creases and folds too. In some people's creases and folds, the skin gets darker. I don't know what the deal is with that. Maybe it's friction. It could be. It could be irritation. It could be.

The constant stretching. Yeah. It's all that ass pounding you do, really. Stop eating spicy food and having anal in your butthole won't be so dirty. Is that it?

I just had Indian food and a big old ass pounding. By an Indian dude. that's the oh god imagine getting oh imagine getting like like some of that like Indian chili paste, the really spicy shit that they, the whole spice blend that they put together for that really fucking spicy doll, I think it's called or something. Okay. What if you got that, what if a dude got it in his foreskin?

Or like down his urethra. You're saying what if? Like it hasn't happened. For sure it's happened. Yeah, you know some guys. Gotten some spicy sauce down in there. Gonna take a whiz. Yeah. I didn't wash my hands. You done got it all in the collar of your sweater?

No, I know. You deserve for having it. Do you? No. For having the doll or for having the- Sweater. Well, you know, you got what you got. No, I know. I'm just- You know, she's a- At this point, you guys know that I'm just now- She's a sweater hater. I am, but I don't wish ill will upon people. No, I think the people who have them understand your outlook. They understand that somebody approached you with some dirty shit.

Like two or three different people approached you with some dirty shit and ruined you. Like for anybody else with the extra poor skin that actually cleaned themselves, you know what I mean, and aren't dirty man whores. Then now Katie has this opinion about Poreskin and it's because of two or three different dudes that she ran across. Now, I will say one thing. It definitely has to be clean.

That's a given. That's a fucking given. If you don't know this, you probably don't wear deodorant either. But if there's a little bit of a lip, you know what I mean? That's okay. No, but you – If you're a fucking sheath like a goddamn snuffle off like it, that's – I mean if you look – You're supposed to pull that back, you know, really. Just kind of slide it back and do your thing. If you – if it looks like an earthworm, it's just like –

Ew, it's got that gross pucker. It's all because of your experiences. Here you have it. No, I know. I know. You wouldn't have the same reaction if you'd have had a pleasant experience. Probably not. No. I'd be like, ooh, this is fun. This is weird. Look at this. It moves funny. Right. There's extra stuff on it. Right. There's extra stuff on it. What's happening? There's the wiggles. Why is the end of it so pink?

What's that? What is so gloss different colors? Why are they like that? Can I flick it? Is it extra sense? You're ruining the sensitivity of sex if you cut your poor skin off. You didn't even know what it was. I know, and it feels pretty good to me. I don't, you know. I've said this before. You want to be extra sensitive so you disappoint the person you're fucking? This is what I'm saying. Like how quick do we want this to happen now? If you're saying that I lost sensitivity because I got my –

my foreskin removed when I was a baby, you know, you're probably right. However, from my perspective, I'm like, what? So now we're doing like four pumps instead of eight. Like what are we talking about here? It feels great. Without it, it feels great. I cannot imagine. I cannot imagine. Being more sensitive. No, I just can't. It's pretty damn sensitive.

God. You know... You know what? Never mind. Okay. No, because I think we talked about this. What? That like if a dude ever says these things, you shouldn't date them. I mean we've probably gone through lists like that before. I don't know. I don't remember that one specifically. Say some of the things and I don't remember if I made fun of them yet or not. Well –

You're being too sensitive. Okay. Like if a guy says that to you, well, sometimes we can be a little sensitive. Guys? What do you mean? No. When a guy says that to a girl? Right. Okay. I mean, but I'm saying sometimes we can be a little sensitive, you know, and I've been torn. Little therapy quick session right here. I've been torn for so long. Like my emotions are fucked up.

Like they've been fucked up. And now that I don't drink alcohol anymore, they're confusing as hell. Because from the time I was young till the time I fucking left my parents' house at 24. I was always told if I cried, I was being too sensitive. And if I didn't cry, I was being heartless. And how could I be so insensitive? So I never knew how to fucking feel.

So I was very confused about things. Anyway. I just think it was depending on whether your parents wanted you to shut the fuck up or not. Right. You know? Yeah. That was just mostly, hey, you're being too loud, kid. You stop your crying. You cry too much because you're making noise right now and I don't want that. Yeah.

Yeah. Could have been. That's not the worst thing they gave you. They were just full of shit. Katie's parents, we realized when, you know, when people die, you find out all their secrets. So you find out.

all of the shit they have been lying to katie about her entire life all of it but well no but you find out a ton of shit that's that's like right you know what why is it that i've never met any of your your your, your families, either one of theirs really like you met them, but barely like you, you, you couldn't answer.

Like how many aunts and uncles do you have on your father's? You're like, I don't really know. I have no aunts. On your mother's? I don't know. I know I have at least one aunt and I talked to her. I know. I know. I have. Right. At least two aunts on my. dad's side right but there's other people we call aunt did i don't think they're really an aunt right so yeah i don't i don't know so you you had found out like like you had no idea

The whole time me and Katie have been together, I would ask her questions about her background. Well, like I'd ask her questions about her background. Like, hey, where does your mother's family come from? And, you know, what's her story? And you'd be like, I don't know. I have no idea. And it was bizarre. It was really fucking weird. And then when everybody dies, all of a sudden you get into all their paperwork and you go, oh, now I know what happened.

I have a sister that's 15 years older than me that you gave up her adoption. Look at that. You never mentioned that. Yep. Never mentioned that. Right. You never mentioned that. Oh, my God. You didn't mention a lot. You have like two brothers and a sister and like step family. I have no idea. There's so many people that I have no idea who they are that she talks. She used to talk about. Even like when she was like about to die.

Like she was talking about people and I'm like, who the fuck are these people? Right. And then I talked to her sister, my aunt. I'm like, who's this? And she's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, huh? Right. And then when we were at the we were at the crematory, you know, like we're going over.

He's asking the guys asking me questions and thank God my aunt was with me because I don't know. I was like, I have no idea. My mom just never, never told me the truth about anything. So I don't know any of the answers to any of this shit. Like what city was she born in? I don't really know. No. I don't – like no. Don't know. Because every – because the place that she said, it's not true. Right. She always used to say Sault Ste. Marie and that's not right. No.

It was something. We don't even know where. It's funny, isn't it? Oh, my God. So anyway, my whole point was – I have trust issues. You're fine. You're OK. You think you have trust issues, but you don't. No, you have perfectly normal trust issues. Believe me. You really do.

You trust me. Like don't act like – and you have trusted me for a long time. So it's not – Because I've been with you for 21 years. Well, I know. But even – we weren't together long and you trusted me. You know what I mean? I was dumb.

You might have been dumb, but you did. So you don't really have a trust problem. You're fine. You're a normal person. Well, I mean, I trust things less now because of things that I know and because things that I've realized and put two and two together and also things.

Like you told me like different like tricks and shit. And then I put two and two together. How to get information out of people, you mean? And I'm like, oh my fucking God. I'm like, people have treated me like shit my entire life. Like, and I just.

well not for nothing We've come to the realization that – I mean both of us were – I mean obviously had a drinking problem and impulse control. Yeah, my drinking problem didn't start until later. I mean yeah. I mean I was – yeah, no. I was coping.

Yeah. No, I mean I was drinking and doing drugs 10, 12 years old. So I mean the first time I smoked crack, I was 13, 14 years old. So like different – we had different – kinds of abuse happened to us and yet and so both of us were in these extreme characters in our 20s and 30s like like always drunk Always just – we didn't – neither one of us gave a fuck about our lives, right? We didn't care what happened to us because we just –

Didn't care about ourselves at all. Zero. And both of us came from fucked up abusive families. In different ways. Different ways. Different ways. Like your family just never told you the truth. And other things. Hiding things. You know, alcoholism was big in your family too. Yeah, it was. But they weren't like get drunk and beat the dog shit out of you, alcoholics. No, get drunk and do other things. Right, right. And my family was get drunk.

kick the dog shit out of you and always be aggressive kind of a thing and and and so anyway both of us were these extreme characters and we never really realized it until recently where you kind of sit down you go oh my god we're aliens Holy shit. How are we alive? How are we breathing? Found each other. No. Quit drinking. Especially because we found each other. Started caring. You have two people like we ran around pouring gas on each other's fire. Like literally, hey, look, bonfire. Go get –

five more gallons of gas. We can make that one a little bigger. I got marshmallows. Right. No, 100%. But we survived somehow. And we actually took care of our parents at the end of their lives, even though maybe we shouldn't know. But we still did and we still treated them with respect and we still took the best care of them that they could get. You know what I mean? And even though they fucking sucked. But my point is, you know. You cry or not cry. That's not the worst thing they did to you.

Like making you confused about when you should be emotional about something and when you shouldn't. That's not the worst thing. Yeah. That's not the worst. You're okay. Yeah. You're okay. You appropriately get upset when you're supposed to, just like everybody.

What else you got? It says, you're lucky I'm with you. Who's that? If a guy sells a girl, you're lucky I'm with you. Oh, I forgot what we were talking about. I totally went off the track. You shouldn't date a guy if he says that. Well, it's kind of a shitty fucking thing to say. I mean, it really is. It is. Maybe he was drunk. I don't know. You're lucky to be.

with me who's gonna date you you ugly bitch well maybe it could be your drunk fat whore no one fucking loves you but i love you it could be you're lucky you're lucky that you're with me because if i wouldn't have just barely caught that last subway train and got on that train, we would have never met. It could have been like that. That would be acceptable now, wouldn't it? You were lucky that we met, meaning, yeah, you made it on the train and we met.

I don't know. I don't know if you could spin it that way. I'm trying. I know. That's what I'd say if you were like, why did you say that to me? Because we wouldn't have met. We wouldn't be right here right now. Come on. Come on. I want to thank your ex-wife. Right. For being such a cunt.

Because if you weren't the kind of person that you were. Right. What would have happened? I would have never been happily married to your husband. Right. Right. And I probably would have had to put my parents both in a home.

i don't know what the fuck i would have been dead already so right well they'd have to they'd have to do something for themselves because my brother and myself would be dead well your brother is dead but no i know that's why we both be dead instead of just me being alive right right

You know, being I saved your life. You owe me your life, really. You know, your existence. It's all because of me. That was one of your red flags earlier, by the way. I'm just going to throw that out there right now. And I'm kind of saying you're lucky you met me. I'm kind of using two red flags in one statement. Well, it's okay because we – well, the next one we already touched on, all my exes are crazy. Well, that's –

That went without saying though because I knew – I know some of your exes personally. But they're not all crazy. No, they're not. They're not all. Yeah. I mean sometimes – some of them like we broke up because of me. Like … You know what I mean? But I do think it's funny how there were a few girls that you dated that I knew. Right. Wow. Right. I liked being from where I was from and going to the city that you lived in and fishing out the women.

You know what I mean? Like Katie was in like an upper middle class kind of a suburban thing and I was from a city known for trailer park kids pretty much. People that didn't live there always, when you heard the name of it, they would just go, oh, you're living in a trailer park, obviously. You are definitely white trash and we should be afraid of you. So I loved going to where she was from.

Getting as many girls as I could to let me put my dick in them and then letting all of their boyfriends know that I did. My favorite thing in the world because they would just sit there and go, it's OK. You can fuck her. It's fine. That's OK. Then I'd leave him a fucking dick. I'm going to kick his ass next time I see him. Dick. He's fishing out all our women. He doesn't even respect us. You're right. I didn't. No. Not at all.

Oh, these are dumb. I don't care about these. Fuck all these red flags.

Oh, why can't you be more like dot, dot, dot? My mother. Oh, my God. That's the case for most of the time, though. How many dudes have you got out with that you know? And I know a lot of women out there have run into guys that were mama boys to the point to where you wonder, like, what did you fuck your mother? Like, I know you've known dudes like this, haven't you? Wait, wait. Besides your brother.

Because your brother definitely seemed like somebody who fucked his mother to me. Anyway, to me, he was that big of a mama's boy to where you like, even as a grown 30 year old man, I would look at him and go, oh my God, you are the. most pathetic piece of shit. I just like, it's just crazy to me. Crazy to me. So besides your brother, who else have you known that, that, you know,

You would think. I mean, they were so into their mother that they had to, right? Right? I don't know. No? I don't know. None of those little springers out there were like that? That's shocking to me. Oh. Yes. See, there you go. Yes. Now you're remembering. An obnoxious little shit, too. Yeah. She ended up, oh gosh, she ended up... She was hooked on Percocets. The mother? The mother was hooked on Percocets and she was an alcoholic. Okay. This is as we got a little older. Uh-huh.

And she was trying to get more Percocets, so she slammed her car into a brick wall. Nice. But she died. Uh-oh. It was right into the Albertsons. She was trying to get in a car wreck to get. Yeah, to get more Percocets. And she ended up killing herself. Like, you know, remember, remember goobs.

Yeah. Right next to it was Albertsons. Right. Turned into a Publix. Right. She slammed right into the side of the building. That's one of those one of those dumb things drug addicts do. You know what I mean? Yeah. They were they were very well off, too. Yeah. So like was he one of the people? I got to call my mom. Mom, what do you think about this shirt? What do you think? You'll tell me the truth. Yeah, everything. Yeah.

And she would go with him like everywhere and he was – whatever. You know that – you know what it could be too? Like I've run into dudes like that across – in my life and obviously ridiculed mercilessly because – and now that I think about it. It probably wasn't nice because just because I'm not like that with my mother, you know what I mean, doesn't mean that other people can't be like that and not be fucking their mother.

You know, like I'm sure it's possible, but I'm telling all of you out there, if you are mama's boys, we are all thinking your mom and you, Buck, I'm letting you know right now. We all think this. Or she's been doing some sketchy shit to you and you don't think that it's wrong or weird because she's been grooming you since you were little. Like, there's nothing wrong with breastfeeding at 16. I don't see the problem, really. God.

God. Jesus, honey. Oh, mom. Did you have Mexican food for lunch? I can taste your titties taste spicy. I don't like it. We only do titty fun now once a year on my birthday. That's it.

That's the only time she lets me suck on them anymore. She always has to put my icy hot on my groin. I know. We were talking about that. Was that last week? We were talking about somebody with icy hot. I got icy hot on my cooter. What? What? Once. No. I thought you just said you had ICI. Not right now. I took what you said as, I got ICI on my cooter right now. Like, what?

Wait a minute. I am not putting my dick near that. I'm going to let you know right fucking now, even with a condom, not doing it. Fuck that. But honey, it's my kink. No, we were talking about the frat hazing that had the icy hot on the balls. That's what it was. But yeah, I had an unfortunate accident where I had got icy hot. On a condom and it was Italian. I got a little on the inside.

And it creeps up. It doesn't start immediately. It's like that Greek bar, don't go out. Well, with friction, it kind of, yeah. What do I? Not so icy. No? No. You don't even like warming lubes though, really. I don't. No. I don't like – I don't. The icy ones you like. Yeah, because – Some of the icies you like, but the warming ones you were never – I don't want my pussy to burn.

I don't like that. Okay. Well, whatever. Sometimes your pussy's got to burn. That's how you know it's working. I'm just saying. Hey. You know that if you're feeling your pussy burning, at least you're feeling, right? You know you're alive. You know you're alive. You feel a little dead in your crotch. Is it just dead?

Put a little song on and wake it up. Wake it up. Get it away. Shake some Tony C's on it. Oh, no. Put Tony C's on everything, man. I mean, it's tasty. I like Tony C's and all, but... We watch too many cooking shows where they're like, hey, just put a little Tony C's on it. Like, what the fuck is up with Tony C's? Why does everybody put that shit on everything? Because it's good. I mean, it's tasty fine, but then everything tastes the same. Yeah. Right.

You know, typically you make different people who drown shooting hot sauce. It tastes like hot sauce. No, it does. And hot sauce people know this too. That's the funny fucking part. That's why when they get one they like, they stick with it. It's like this whole thing is going to taste like this. So I want it to taste like this. It always makes me laugh when I go out with somebody who really does drench everything.

and hot sauce and it's like, bitch, you haven't tasted anything since fucking 1900s. You know what I mean? Like you have no idea what we just ate, what we ever eat. I could give you cardboard and you would think it was delicious because it's the same thing you eat everywhere you go. That's the same person that drenches everything in ranch too. Ranch, there is no excuse.

I mean like people on the West Coast, I'm going to say people on the West Coast do tend to be ranch people, just in general. It's – It's a lot bigger on the west coast of the United States. Do you think? It is. It is. Like when you talk to people who are like balls deep in the ranch lore, they're like, oh, yeah, I was raised in Washington or like California.

California, you know, like it's maybe they get better ranch out there. I don't know. But the ranch we get here, it's not. I mean, I'll eat it. I don't not like I mean, I can like it, you know, but I don't love it. Love it. I don't want to put it on everything. I will put blue cheese on everything. No. You do. Right. That's an East Coast thing, like a wing. You know what I mean? But you put it on everything. Well, pizza for sure.

Hell yeah. For sure. Fuck yeah. You put some fucking hot sauce and some blue cheese. You got a buffalo wing pizza and you didn't have to order shit. All you had to do was have a little bit of blue cheese dressing. And some hot sauce. That's it on your pepperoni pie. Small cups. They're way better. For more culinary tips from Chef SC. All right. They're very good. Hey, when you go to Buffalo and you eat.

where the home of the buffalo wing is they don't give you they don't give you fucking ranch matter of fact they will laugh you out of the state for asking for ranch ranch is for pussies at least that's what they will tell you i don't think you're a pussy I just would rather have blue cheese. Elmo definitely thinks you're a pussy. I want to tell you that right now. That's so funny. Elmo got hacked yesterday at this point, day before yesterday when we're recording this.

I just love it when these big national national corporate accounts get hacked by somebody and then they spout off the worst shit ever said by anybody like Elmo hates Jews. Like, oh, my God, Elmo. holy shit what the fuck is going on yeah it got it got it was really bad holy shit and you can't not read it in his voice well right

So all day as I started finding the different ones, like I didn't actively go and seek them. Once I saw one of them, I was like, funny, Elmo got hacked. And then you start seeing all of them and I'm reading them to Katie as I come across them. You know, there was some deep shit there.

I mean they really – they really did Elmo dirty I think. And I don't know. Is it inappropriate, right? Let me ask you. I'm not – I mean I know what you're going to say. But I'm going to ask all of you out there. Like obviously. When you hear Elmo being massively anti-Semitic, like on its face, the hatred isn't necessarily funny. But the fact that somebody hacked Elmo and Elmo is saying that shit.

It becomes fucking funny and I don't think anything is wrong with me thinking it was funny. That's what I'm going with right now. You're not saying anything. I didn't say I fucking agreed with what he said, goddammit. I was just laughing at what he said. I know you don't agree, but yes, there is humor. Because Elmo was saying some fucked up shit. And you're like, that's...

Right. That's preposterous. That is preposterous. Stop it. Stop it. Elmo, stop it. Elmo just wants to eat your butthole, Katie. Don't take away my funding. I told you I'd be pissed.

Oh, there was somebody talking about Muffing. Muffing? Muffing. I'm trying to remember. I know I've heard this before. inguingle canals, orifices above your testicles. Muffing is basically fingering penetration of these spaces. We talked about fingering your ball holes. Okay. popularized oh your mystery hole thing your mystery hole that you're like hey if i shove hard enough i can just make a fucking hole here no kiss my ass that fucking source is not trustable

That fucking source right there is not – whatever that thing says. Kinklovers.com. OK. Exactly. Like I've never heard of that before in my life really. Fuck. I've been around a kinkajou and I've never heard of that. Kinkajou. Him too. Right. I've seen some fucking Kika Jews. We do have a friend that has one. I fucking fingered him once or twice. Oh. Well, I did. You have to touch him. They're stinky, but they're cute. Right.

Right. What the hell was I just like? Oh, your fucking mystery. Your mystery. Where the part that separates your upper. uh, uh, insides from your nutsack where your balls dropped through when you were a baby, right? Apparently there's, there's, if you push hard enough, you could just push it right through there. It's not through. You're not breaking the skin. You can feel that there's. Nope. I've had it my whole life. There's an area. There's no area.

I will show it to you. No, you're not. Negative. No. We've been through this before. We have, and I'm not letting you do it. Yes. Not doing it. We're going to do it. You're definitely not doing it. No. I'm not letting you anywhere near my ball sack until you get this out of your system. Yeah, right. Not doing it. Because you're going to start to try to sub shit in there. And there's a ball sack. No, negative.

Oh, stop. Well, I'm going to start doing this to you. No, you're not going to start. No, no. What I'm about to read is what I'm going to do to you. I have to consent. You can't you can't just force me. I'm bigger than you. This is called bald skull fucking. The woman is the man's possession, not the other way around. I'm going to remind you right now. You have no say. I'm the only one with say here.

Okay. I don't have a mystery hole either. There's no hole there. Yeah, you do. There's no hole. No. I'm not even going to fucking say it. I'm not going to entertain your bullshit. It's not happening. I'll do it. You're not gonna do it. You're not going near him. I'll show you. I'll show you. Nope. Yep.

Just lightly. I'll just say right there. No. And I'm not going to go poof. I'm not going to do pressure. Okay. You're using all of these words, none of which I am taking into consideration at all. I'm going to let you know that right now. No consideration. Well, for you bald guys out there, this one's for you. The bald skull fucking trend is coming around.

Never say never. This is a weird sex act. It's not really that uncommon, though. Some women have a bald fetish and love to wrap their pussy around a skull and rub against it. Use your head as a grinder. OK, a little weird, but. Okay. If it's freshly shaven and it's really soft. I mean, it's going to get stubbly quick. That's why you got to do it right after. But even when you do it right after, you don't ever get it.

Maybe get it waxed. Maybe they're naturally bald. If you fucking wax your head, Jesus Christ, you'll lose your scalp. People do. I've seen, I've watched videos. People are retarded. People do it. I'm telling you right now, people are dumb. People are very dumb. They do a lot of very dumb things. Yeah. I know. We talk about them. I'm aware of this. Okay. People do a lot of stupid shit. Are you? No, sir. I'm only aware if you tell me, sir. Now you're getting the idea. Thank you. Thank you.

Fucking finally. 20 years. Finally. Finally getting the respect that I – like it's not only the respect that I deserve. It's I'm entitled to by law. You know what I mean? This is where we live now. I'm in control of your body. I'm a white man. I rule. That's it. I make all the rules. Nobody else is allowed to do anything unless I tell them it's okay.

So my teal outfit should be coming from – Your teal outfit? Coming in the mail. Which teal outfit? Commander. See, now you're getting the idea. Now you're starting to understand. Right? Right? I can do whatever I want. Everybody else, you guys, you guys do what I tell you. You know, it's one of those things that the people who believe that shit. Really? They're like, yeah, man, that's totally cool. Right? Right. I'm glad you're like that. Jesus. I don't know what's wrong with people.

I support you. Right, right. Okay. That's such a good idea, SC. Goddamn. My God, you're such a good guy. You got to keep a hand on your wife. Literally. Fellas, if you didn't hear the intro, listen to it again. Right. Listen closely. You know who's on the list. To what it says. We're not telling you what list that is. No, it's incredibly bad advice. Like, don't, don't.

Dude, don't be stupid, stupid. But you do know who's on the list. I do. We're just not telling you what list that is. That's right. Right. But you know who's on that list. I do. Right. You know I do. Well, yeah. You can't tell me because, you know, I would tell everybody. It would no longer be a secret list. It would just be a published list. But I wouldn't remember the names anyway. So. Yeah. Yeah. Be lost knowledge.

And on that note, we're going to go. Okay. Because things. Right. All right, guys. Well, I hope you have a great rest of your weekday shift. Whatever it is that you're doing, drive. Background noise clean. I don't know. Whatever it is that you do, let me know if you're fucking diddling away. Who knows? Set if you want to. Do you have anything for me, SC? Yeah, break some corporate shit. Burn down some corporate shit. Fuck those corporations. We don't need them.

They don't need their shit. Okay. Kisses on the pink pot. Bye. Release the list, you fucking liar. Jackass. I like tacos and burritos.