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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dying time is here. That's right, we're talking about Jaws, but only the side characters on Kill by Kill. It's your old pal Patrick Hamilton coming to you once again from Amity Island. You know, Amity means friendship. This is the Kill by Kill podcast where usually we're talking about horror movie characters in the order in which they die in the hopes that...
An island visitor's untimely end is just the beginning of the jokes we might make at their expense. But of course, this is April, and that means it's Animal Attacks April. And how could we have gone this long without talking about the granddaddy? of Animal Attack Movie's 1975 Jaws for its 50th anniversary. But of course, every podcast on Earth, and perhaps some beyond, have talked about Jaws to death.
But you know what they haven't talked to death? The side characters. That's right, baby. It's a kill by kill special. And of course, there's only one person I trust to know exactly where to find that holiday roast. so we can yank it onto a chain and try to catch a gigantic fucking fish and fail. The one, the only, Gina Radcliffe. How are you doing today, Gina? I'm sorry, I'm a little late. I was busy karate chopping the... on the way here and I got caught on that.
So you're part of the gang is what you're telling me. You're admitting that you're part of the gang because that gets you. extradited out of this country pretty soon here. I mean, I'm looking at my non-existent watch and I think it's about two minutes from now before we start sending karate chopping nine-year-olds to Venezuela. Those nine-year-old karate children.
We're going to get to it. But of course, I don't want to scare you, Gina. We are not alone. That's right. We have a special guest. And of course, you know her. You love her. She's a returning champion here to Kill by Kill. And of course, an Animal Attacks April expert, the one, the only Megan Sunday. How are you doing today, Megan? I am doing great, although I have routinely asked you to let Polly do the printing. Yes.
For good reason, because I don't think Deputy Hendricks is... good for much but on this particular watch through obviously focusing on these sign characters i was a little dazzled at how useless he is for the most part. Yeah, he can barely get a food. And he's the one from there. Yeah.
But these other people, they're not from here. There's all sorts of plates. There's people here from Jersey. They're from everywhere. Not everywhere, man. There's no Puerto Rico plates in that fucking parking lot. Come on, pull it together. Do your job. Anyways, I don't want to give away the gold before we might talk about Deputy Hendrick. Now, here are the rules. Now, we could have just yacked about all these characters in the order in which they appear.
And this podcast would probably last three hours. Oh, yes. It's full of all colorful characters. Yeah, it is. It is. I think this is a golden era for many things in Spielberg's, you know, filmography. But right off the top, one of the things he's really, really good at from the jump is finding day players who just give great bug eyes. They just. They're great at it. And he encourages people to just give the performance of a lifetime within a very short period of time.
some point he kind of loses that or decides he doesn't need it going forward in his career. I'd love to figure out the exact moment that is, but I think a little bit of the magic is gone once it happens. Yeah, I agree. Yeah. So here are the rules going forward so that everyone can be on the same page. we are going to reveal our top five Jaws side characters from five to ascending order of number one. Now, if one of those characters is featured farther up on our list,
We will simply talk about it when they are first mentioned. And then later on, we will, you know, give them a placement for them and move on to the next character in that order. And then if we have any extras at the end, of course. We can always discuss them at length. Do we all agree to the rules of the game that I just made up? I do. Yes. Perfect. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. And so Megan, you are our guest.
So I choose you to go first. Who is your number five of the Jaws top five side character edition list? That would be Herschel West as Quince. Sidekick Salvatore. Oh, this is a good pick in a lot of different ways. Hit me with your first mate thoughts. He's just, well, one, you can tell he's one of those.
aforementioned day players he was he was a real fisherman that they saw one of the casting director like saw him on the street was like that guy we need that guy in the movie he's just Quint is such a character and this guy is just also there. though it doesn't get, I mean, I believe it was a cut scene, but is the one who goes, I'm not going on this. I don't know that he's ever said no to Quint before, but he did this time. Yeah. No, that's not a question he needs an answer.
One of the, I agree with you. He is just there, but just there in such a way it's highly noticeable. He's also one of the dirtier peanuts of this particular case. He looks like he lives inside the engine room of the Orca and nuzzles greasy wheels in the middle of the night just to feel comfortable. How many filthy limericks has he had to hear? Yes. How many has he had to forget because they haunted his nightmares?
Because you know, Quint doesn't have that many. He's had to hear them multiple times. Right. Yeah. Now he's recycling a whole lot. It's the only thing he's recycling. because I think a lot of his beer cans end up getting thrown overboard. Oh, yeah. But that is his main recyclable. Gina, your thoughts on Quinn's first mate? I mean, yeah, he's been through a lot. Him and Quinn, they've known this. I'm sorry. Before we go any further, Gina, when you say...
We know the sea together. Why do you sound like Parker Posey from White Lotus? together. Okay. Oh, okay. They've known the sea together. They've known the sea together. Might be the way my mother described gay people in the 80s. I'm sure that there is fan fiction. New assignment. New assignment. And I just think. when Quint has been drunk enough, they just like, ah, it's a warm body, whatever. I'm just glad Patrick and I were both on the same page of that because I was like, am I?
Too terrible. No, we're both here. I mean, listen, they're perfectly comfortable with one another and how they live and how they love is none of my damn business. because it really doesn't distract them from the job at hand. That said, when I caught eyes with this guy upon this particular rewatch, I was like, I've never really seen anyone outside of a 90s rave wearing an orange rubber hat in public. It's a choice to put on a rubber orange ball cap. That is a specific...
that you were going for. And it's got to be hotter than hell when it's humid outside. It's July on the East Coast. Is he cooking eggs underneath that fucking thing? What's going on under there? The sweat situation must be horrific. you have to lean over to take it off and he's got a bowl of hair soup inside of that thing. That's crazy. He's got probably like he's got one duffel bag of stuff. And he's got one hat. He travels light. Yeah. He drinks so much beer. So.
But it doesn't, he's working hard enough where it's not showing. Whereas I feel like Quint is spending a lot of time on that fishing chair, just crushing can after can. Right on his forehead. Right on where it's supposed to be crushed. Okay, because this is a great choice. Love this character. Anything else that we have to get out of the way before we move on?
Love that little guy. He's one of cinema's greatest little guys. He's just hanging out, doesn't need to talk. We get a lot of information from him just visually. He's a feast. All right, Gina, what is your number five? My number five is an uncredited character. It is played by, according to IMDB, Wally Hooper Jr. That is Harry of the Bad Hat. Okay. Oh. Bad Hat Harry. Sure. I appreciate... harry because i i grew up in a sea
And every seaside town has a bad hat, Harry. A little old man who is a little too comfortable with his nudity. Yeah. He usually gets around town on a bicycle. Sure. He likes to sit. and talk knowingly about how you don't know how to swim. And Ed just, you know, has... like Frank Perdue. Now, is Bad Hat Harry different from the guy who owns the bicycle store that...
that has been hacked by the karate kids. Because upon this rewatch, I couldn't tell them apart. As far as I know, Bad Hat Harry and the star owner and one of the city councilmen are the same character. They're all just the same little old man. Little old plucked chicken man. Yes. I would hazard a guess. Harry. Right. I don't know if both of them are or whatnot. It's sort of a weird thing now that we've AI fucked all of the website.
You can't get reliable information from the fucking internet anymore. But upon this rewatch, I'm like, is that the same? They have the same note. If they're different people, the only difference between them is Batman and Harry doesn't have glasses on. But of course he doesn't because... You don't put on glasses to go swimming in the fucking sea. Yeah, I appreciate how he's trying to give Chief Brody shit because he doesn't like the water. Yes.
And the Chief Brody makes a crack by his hat. He just looks like, all right, fuck you then. It seems to be like part of the ritual hazing of new people on the island is to give them rank. And I don't know if Brody under the best of circumstances would have been in long idle conversation with him. But under this circumstance where he's like, no, I've kind of been forced into a terrible situation. There's lots of children in the water. I'd like to pay fucking attention.
And the best way out of the situation is to insult that shitty hat he's wearing, which is protecting what, I ask you? What is it protecting? He's going to say he's wearing a diving cap to keep your hair dry. Right. Is he swimming for time and he needs to reduce his drag? Get the fuck out of here. You were wearing that hat for people to comment on it. And then someone does. And you're like, how?
How dare you? There's no other reason you're wearing that hat, Harry. Nothing is hiding those ears. And I can say that as a person with big ears. There's nothing. Those babies aren't fitting under there. They're not getting covered by anything. They've been sunburned so many times. Oh my God. You see, I'm looking, I looked this up and I, wow, you do see a lot of Harry, the beach, these photos. Yeah, Harry's basically nude. He's also one of the select men in Jaws 2.
Can't tell if it's supposed to be the same character. They just hired the same old guy. It's got to be the same. It's got to be the same character. It is the same. Making him yet another one of the people in that second movie who's like, I know I was there. But a giant shark attacked people, but I feel like... that couldn't possibly be a big shark again. It totally makes sense. But the thing that makes zero sense is in Jaws the Revenge when Mrs. Kittner shows up.
And she's helping at the funeral of Sean Brody. And you're like, these people get along? be fucking kidding me. She's throwing a party that you've also lost your child. Right. And she's helping out because she knows what it's like, I guess. But also... Like, oh my God, you're social with this person?
I refuse to believe it. I refuse. But let's not get into Mrs. Gittner because that is a completely different side character from Bad Aunt Harry. An excellent choice at number five from Gina. Does anyone else have any final thoughts? on Harry and his bad fucking hat. Just put it all away, Harry. I know you're at the beach, but man. Get a nice... It's like caftan or something. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Get something flowy with a pattern.
You know, show your personality that way. I don't need to see your balls. I just don't. And I doubt anyone's asking. And I get the feeling he's definitely showing people against their will. All right, let's move on to my number five now, rounding out our number five picks. For me, number five is Polly. of the make sure she does the printing. I too have Polly on my list. She is at number three. She is at my runner's up. Polly, I think, does a lot with a little.
First of all, very observant, but cannot pick up context clues in any way, shape, or form. Just very, this day is the same as the last, regardless of what has happened. And the amount of dead bodies that are being swallowed by an active giant shark is... ruffles none of her feathers whatsoever. She's seen this shit before. Yes. She's seen a lot of shit before. What the fuck was Amity Island like a few years ago? We don't talk about that. I just, for the record, when she moved.
You don't hear a hot water bottle squeak, but you kind of know it's there. It's implied. It's implied. There's a lot of shuffling. There's a full suit when you're the, I mean, you're the office manager of the police department, but on Amity Island, no one else is even wearing pants. Certainly, very few people are wearing sleeves unless they've got a windbreaker on. I mean, the breeze is blowing and everything, but it's got to get warm at some point, right? Not for Polly.
Not for Polly. She's cool as a cucumber. And we learn over the course of this that Polly... Sucks at filing, which has got to be 35 to 40% of her job. I mean, how much filing could they have to do on a daily basis? But if they don't have a lot of filing. And you're bad at it. All right. But she's so good at sign lettering, Patrick.
But how often are they lettering signs? Like they're not closing the beach so much that they have, you know, just haul those out again. They have to make new ones. They didn't have old ones to haul out. So how did they learn that she is that good at lettering? Is it just the annual pancake breakfast?
Oh, she does every sign. The pancake breakfast, no parking because of the 4th of July parade. That's all Polly. Also, what time are they all rolling up if she's so surprised to see them there already? Because it wasn't that early. Because all the Brodies are awake. What time does the police department open? You're telling me they have like banker's hours there? What's going on? If all the Brodies are awake, including the kids, it's at least...
7.30 because kids. Well, that brings up this question then because the Brody kids. early fucking risers and by the looks of things Is not. Ellen, we're not going to get into Ellen yet because that's a whole fucking thing. But are your kids early rises? Because I. You have to use dynamite to get my child out of bed. Oh, 7 a.m. every day. Really? Oh, yeah. Rain or shine, holiday, weekend. She is up and she wants to talk to you about falls.
Oh. She's got an agenda and she wants to make sure she's ticking things off the list right away. So that comes with pluses and minuses. Obviously, you don't have to worry so much about getting that kid to school on time because they're operating at a level where they can fart around for 15 minutes. you still got a still good 45 to get them out the door. Whereas mine is like, I'd have to tie a rope and then attach it to my car and drive away very fast.
still leaving the house with like a piece of toast between his teeth. Yes. Every morning. We live luckily in a place where he can, he has been able to walk to school for the majority of his schooling career. And yeah. I have driven this child so many times. And you're like, I feel like I'm warming the planet just doing this. I feel terrible. I do feel. that while no one involved in this movie really thought
All right, we're planning a sequel ahead of time. In the back of your mind, you have to think somebody at NBCUniversal has watched this movie, heard about how bad Polly is at filing. And thinks to themselves, uh-huh, Amityville PD, cold case files. And they can't find shit.
I mean, it just writes itself. Like, everything's just in a banker's box, like, stuck under a desk somewhere. No one's going to need to find this shit later. Right, no. All those banker's boxes are underneath the dock where they cut open sharks to find... comes out of a shark. It's the McNamara file. We had to let that guy go. He'll eat anything. I think Polly is a wonderful amalgamation of perfectly lovely person unsuited for this level of date.
Like, it's not like she's going into action, but she's also, I think, unprepared for how much she's going to actually have to get involved in terms of coordination. They don't have a guy in a chair or a girl in a chair. They've got Polly and she left her chair to get more coffee. And from about noon to 1245, you are not going to talk to Polly because she's eating your sandwich. Polly has a little sign that says back in 45 minutes.
And she will put it up whether she's sitting there or not. Yeah. A pencil out, sandwich in mouth, crossword being crossed. Polly has a sign on her desk says, one of these days I'm going to get organized. And you know she's going to hang in there, baby poster. Oh, yes. Polly has never gone out for lunch. She's very proud. She's bringing in lunch. Every day. She is brown bragging that. And yes, she does use the refrigerator that they're supposed to store blood samples in with tap.
She's tabbing it like fucking crazy. Egg salad sandwich. My favorite part about Polly is it doesn't even have to do with the first Jaws. It's Jaws the Revenge, which I... I'm almost positive they brought back the same actress to play this character, but Chief Brody has died. She puts up that giant fucking picture of him right behind her desk. I mean, yes. Yes. He's in character in the headshot.
when a movie or TV uses someone's headshot as what's supposed to be a casual photo. I mean, the best, and we've talked about it many times, is in a teenager's bedroom that is used for set day. That's my favorite because it's all over the Nightmare on Elm Street series. It seems to be a thing. Yeah, and what was the one, the new kids, when he was sneaking into Jane Spader's house? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
portrait of himself and and he's doing like the the like holding the sunglasses with like the one arm like and like touching his lips like I got a casual photo. Yes. A black and white. Like, no. And I think everyone in real life has been to someone's house where they've seen a portrait of themselves or family members, especially as a kid. I used to see that a lot of people's houses and you just always had a moment of like. This is what you went with.
A friend of mine, her mom had a giant, had one of those when you get a photo painted. And it was my friend and her mom when they were, when she was younger and matching like velvet dresses. And it was at the top of the stairs. So every time you walked in, it was just like, oh, well, there's that portrait of Gina and her mom again.
you know you don't see anymore you don't see like pictures of people uh superimposed in brandy snipters anymore what happened what happened to that or that floating head everyone had in the 80s where it's like we're like one where you're smiling and then like one where you're serious and it kind of looks like you die Yeah, I have one of those. And it's like, why is my floating baby head just there next to me? It was Becky and I's Christmas card one year was us dressed.
our eighties best. And we went to the mall and we had them superimpose it in the brandy sniffing. Amazing. Incredible. I wonder what the Brody's wedding photos look like. Oh, wow. You know Mrs. Brody had those big old Lego mutton sleeves of her wedding gown. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Martin had to remind him to take the sinking out of his hand. Please do not light up during the ceremony. I feel like he might have had the tinted sunglasses on.
He was born a cop. Came out of the womb swinging a baton. Just flashed a... Okay, Megan, your number four. My number four is another, like Gina's an unnamed character, but according to IMDb, played by Carla Hojinday. And that is the estuary hippie painter girl. The one who sees, she's a shark. Oh. Shark in the lagoon. Shark lady. No one believes her. She's just, she's missed everything because of her watercolors. Sure. She's lost in art. Yeah. She has no idea of all the doing.
that were going on on the other side. She was in her little bandana. So when he first sees the shark, when it goes into the pond and, you know, Michael's in the pond. Does anyone have Mike Brody? on their list. No, I have no children on my list. All right, so my big thing, just as a side tangential thing, because we're bringing up the palm. is when Brody goes over and tells Mike, take your sailboat and do it in the pond for me, okay? He's like, but the pond is for grandma.
And it's definitely dubbed. And I am now convinced he's dubbed by June for a. Like June 4A. That kid is the, I mean, they talk about how, you know, there's a whole bit about how they're, you know, from New York and everything, but like only Michael is, that kid is just. You know, he's trying to, you know, tie up the ropes on his little boat there and he's like, give me a rope. What are you doing? It's like, who are you? But estuary artist, what she's good at is conveying fear and disbelief.
that what she has been told will not happen. It's definitely happening. And whether or not she was aware that this place was having a shark problem before she showed up, she's definitely aware of it afterwards, but somewhat unprepared to meet the moment. when it comes to from the diaphragm warning people. Yeah, she's doing a little bit of like Ryan Gosling in The Nice Guy, but he finds the dead body.
But, you know, I get that because that would probably be my reaction to see a giant fucking shark fin just... If I saw a shark that fucking size, my breath would escape me absolutely immediately. I see a shark. I like sharks. I see a shark in an aquarium where I've expected to see a shark and I'm still like, Ooh, where'd you come from friend? That class is unbreakable, right?
shut up yeah i can get everything i need right in here i do not need it it's a part of you know we we chose not to get into the psychological sociological phenomenon of Jaws because you can get that almost anywhere. The very idea of seeing, you can have idea of shark. And then you see shark that big near people with your real eyeballs. And you're like. Uh-uh. Never again. The sea is verboten. I mean, I once saw a bear in the wild where a bear should be.
Yeah. And I was like, hey, that's a bear. What? You can have an idea of bear. You can think of bear, but bear in real life? That's a different fucking, you are looking at a very cute tank. With teeth. And babies. So we had to definitely stay away. Definitely. That's what happens when you go to summer camp in California. Yeah. I can vouch for that. Had plenty of bear encounters, but even worse. My dad was born and raised near Banff, Canada and Glacier Park.
And was, you know, did the whole ski instructor and swim instructor thing there and has more bear stories. If you ever, if you just say. bear near him, sit down, put on a seatbelt. You're going to hear half an hour's worth of fucking bear stories just push out of his pie hole into your ears. And all of them are fucking terrified. Terrified. He should not be alive. I should not be on Earth as a result. And yet...
He somehow lived past all these frightening fucking bear stories. And here you are talking about Jaws characters. Because he took me to see Jaws at the local Montrose Theater. And I was the only one he took that time because I was the only one old enough to go. This was on a re-release. and i remember exactly where we sat that building doesn't exist anymore but still when i drive by it on occasion i know where i was burned into your brain forever, huh? Absolutely. One thousand percent.
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Gina, who is your number four? Mine is another uncredited character played by an actress with the absolutely incredible name of Fritzy Jane Courtney, and that is Mrs. Taft. Oh, yeah. This is Taft is my number one. Is she? Okay. Mrs. Tal is on my list as well. I have a lot to say about Mrs. Tal. I won't steal too much of your thunder then. I will just...
She doesn't think that's funny. She doesn't think that's very funny at all. She looks like every friend of my grandmother's in the 70s. Right down to the... The giant glasses. The dye job she has going on has robbed local newspapers of their ink for at least a month. The tan. The tan already. The tan. The summer just started. She is. She is. Oh my God. She is a deep mahogany.
She's a businesswoman. Her neckerchief. I feel like, like, yeah, Megan, I just sent you that clip earlier tonight of Best in Show where he has to pack six kimonos for a 48-hour trip to Philadelphia. has brought a selection of neckerchiefs. That's me. That's me when I visited you. She's brought so many kimonos.
We did go to a tea service. Mrs. Tag, you know, she's got, like, a special, like, red, white, and blue. Oh, yeah. For Fourth of July. She's got one in an anchor print. Like, like, like, like, like the... I need you to stop listing scarves that I own. I have two Jaws-themed scarves because I own a lot of Jaws nonsense. I suppose I have seen multiple photos of you in scarves, and yet I never thought to myself, Megan, there goes a...
I wish I owned a motel, but it would be ruined. Her argument against closing the beaches has little to do with the fact that she owns a motel. No, it's not just because of that. And the entirety of her business is dependent on out-of-town traffic.
I love that that's her argument. She's just like, I'm not just saying this. It's like, yes, you are. What are you talking about? You came here specifically to just say that. She's the one who's like laser beams her coming out of her fucking eyes at Mayor Vaughn. And also she's the one who tells Ella that, you know, if you're not born here, you're not an Islander. Oh, she knows all the rules around Island.
And she knows who is an Islander and who isn't. Yes. She is the arbiter of Islanders. And when it comes down to it, you're either born here or you're not. Which I guess is a rule. But also, why does... Ellen care that fucking much? Also, I feel like Ellen was just like making conversation and she's just like, never.
you're dead to us you're from New York we don't get too much into this because again this is stuff that other people have already covered but like aspects in which I wish that the Ellen of the movie had been more like the Ellen of the book, which was a relentless bitch. Who's not getting enough at home and will take on all times once they push. Every minute of her time. We'll have the worst sex. Yeah.
You know, I do sort of wish she, you know, that she was a little more like, you know, bitchy to these people who are just so, you know, smug and unwelcoming. to them but one of my favorite things about mrs tang is she loudly states during that meeting i don't even know if there's a shark around here lady died from playing with dolphins too hard? That happened in front of your motherfucking face. He just rolled over and exploded. I was going to say, he explodes and happens all the time.
It's for meeting too much sugar. It was that Kool-Aid. He wrinkled too hard and it shriveled him to the point in which he burst. He probably mixed some Pop Rocks with soda. Well, and it doesn't help that everyone on Amity Island had children when they were 39 years old. Oh, we're going to get to that. Oh. Well, if you were... She could be 25 for all we know. The thing is, she is...
tanned to the point in which she is preserved. She's like an old western saddle. And that perm ages everyone. I have seen prettier baseball men. And this is not a looks-based thing. This is a color-based thing. She probably is like 40. Oh, yeah, sure. But, like, again. It's the styling and the tanning. Right, and those glasses and all of it ages her. But I think, like you said, Jane...
There's a lot of aged parents on this particular island. And I say this as a person who, you know, is of an age with a teenager. But holy Moses. Yeah, I see that as someone who had, you know, to go to special doctor's appointments because I was so old.
you would have been like what like 30 34 advanced advanced maternal age now but yes i was 35 i'm actually looking she looked up fritzy jane courtney oh my god she was my age when she did this movie okay so a little a little older than i thought but still looks older than 52 Oh, yeah. But has youngest children. So young. So many of them do. That beach scene, there's just so many. Oh, when they're crawling in. It's just like.
parents just wheezing and hobbling towards the shoreline to like grab them they're not getting those kids out of the water because they've been smoking too long she just sort of gives up and just stand there like your kid in the water. It's like you just need to walk six feet to get out of the water. It's like that guy who just knocks kids down. Oh, I love that guy. too. There's too many panickers to note because if we were to just go through panickers, we would be here until midnight.
Okay. Whose number four was that? I should have. That was Gina. Okay. So my number four was Mrs. Taft. So we had. disgust her, but I don't think there is a shark around here. Get the fuck out of here. It's one of the dumbest fucking statements I've ever heard. God bless her. She would have been a Trump voter. From beyond the grave. rose like a zombie, like a creep ship. Entered into town. She didn't come back for her birthday cake. She came back to vote.
Her grandest wish for business owners like her. Megan, your number three. My number three is, I believe, a classic. classic side character of Jaws, Mr. Ben Gardner. That's Ben Gardner's vote. That's Ben Gardner's head. That's Ben Gardner's eyeball. That's Ben Gardner's eyeball. They're going to wish their- Now, here's the before we get into real character.
details this is the only plot detail that has confounded the fuck out of me right so ben gardner local fisherman that everyone seems to know goes out amongst all these other Fisherman from out of town laments that they don't know what the fuck they're doing on their overloaded boat. They're going to ground out on the rocks. They're going to wish their mothers never met their fathers. But he ends up with a fucking hole in his boat. And then his decapitated bitten off head.
is inside the boat. Where was he bitten? Where did he meet Shark? Because did the shark like jabber jaw get up on its hind tails and walk onto the fucking boat and murk him in the boat and his head fell down into the bottom? swallowed him up to the head and then just went. Like the pit of an olive. He just spat it back into the boat. And then for our luck, it ended up in the bottom when Hooper decides to show up and investigate. It was, the head was, it had a mouthful.
of nicotine and banquet beer and Jaws said no. Right. There's a lot of chaw happening inside between the lip and gum, and that can't taste all that great. I'll swallow a license plate here and there. Just because I like to feel, you know, experienced. But there's no way I'm swallowing that Hawk Tua.
Said Bruce. If anyone out there has a theory as to how the fuck Ben Gardner's head ends up back in the boat, or even how he met his end, this is even more mysterious than how Sean Brody meets his end. and four, because how the fuck does that happen? But this is even more how the fuck does that happen? And how would this be the only time that that shark loses a tooth? Because sharks lose lots of teeth. Yes. This is kind of their whole thing. But his head's been through a lot.
Yeah, there's like crabs in there and shit. Yeah, that boat is already like an old wreck. And it wasn't, it was a newer wreck. when he went out. It wasn't like, oh, who's... la-di-da, look at Ben Gardner's boat. That being said, ill prepared in that craft. to haul in the size of shark they're hunting. I mean, there's a reason that even Chief Brody, who I don't even know is entirely cognizant that he lives in a fishing town, recognizes that Hooper's boat is pretty fancy.
Yes, because he's seen the other boats around town and none of them are at this level. And I guess it's painted and nice. It's got a tape deck. He doesn't say don't see shanties, right? An eight track of sea shanties that he shoved in and he's just skipping to the third side. Sea shanties and surprisingly the greatest hits of Linda Ronstadt. Well, I mean, it's a mellow good time, you know?
side he really does how do you think he lands ellen in the book you know it's really Van Gardner died before he could hear the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. He would have loved it. He would have loved it. Would have. And he would have had so many thoughts about the actual shipwreck and you would have had to hear them all.
The thing that I had forgotten about, and obviously I observed it before, but Ben Gardner, you don't just see his head. You're introduced to him during that whole onslaught beforehand. He's the one who greets Hooper after he lands. And he helps him onto the dock. And Hooper looks at the sides of him, says, hello there. And his response is, hello back, young fellow. Which is how I'm going to greet all of Oliver's school friends from now on, just to embarrass him.
there's so many little guys so many Ben Gardner. I'm surprised that the shark needed to eat after consuming the vast majority of Ben Gardner because, holy shit, that's a lot of dude. The shark eats a lot. I'm a little concerned about Bruce the shark, frankly. It's an all-you-can-eat buffet, and he paid his $19.95, and he's going to get all of it.
he's there. You gotta stop. I mean, don't stop because you're a shark. You can't ever stop or you'll die, but you don't have to be continuously eating. You can just, you just have to keep swimming. But he is just, well, they keep providing him with food. And he's on a seafood diet, both literally and figuratively. He's got humans. He's got that roast. Yeah. Who are they fucking feeding for the holiday? Like, are they inviting over local urchins on top of it? That's a lot of fucking...
What's the size of their oven? I can imagine how angry his wife was because you know she had to go down to the super saver with her coupon per pound. She budgeted, you know, and you know, she's not going to spend it during the holidays. You, you buy it when it's cheap and you freeze it. And then you thought for when it's time, but also it.
Half the size of Ben Gardner. It's a lot of meat. Is she cutting that down? No. Is she butchering that? It's a lot of fucking meat. It's 1975. It's going into the oven. with some potatoes next to it. And they're just having that every night for weeks. Surprise. Sandwiches. So much Wonder Bread being slapped on the outsides of those slices. Any other Ben Gardner thoughts? Solid pick for a solid man. Very solid man. I agree.
Gina, who is your number three? My number three was Polly. So we could skip to yours. Okay. My number three is an uncredited person. I don't know who this is. I couldn't find her name. I don't. care. Lady in blue who turns around when Quint scratches the chalkboard. She is making such a stink face. Oh my god, she's so mad. Ten out of ten. No notes.
As I mentioned earlier, if there's anything missing from modern Spielberg movies, it is his loss of reliance on bug-eyed day players reacting to things. This is next to the pigeon in Moonraker. to camera I've ever seen. It's frozen in time. How did this not win the fucking Academy Award? Are you kidding me? This is unbelievable. This is what everyone's thinking. But when you see it, everyone else's reaction is like, how dare you? And her reaction is, are we under attack from the Japanese?
I just I can't I can't believe it was captured on camera. I'm so. thankful that it was put into the assembly and the finished product. It's unbelievable that we have it and you can access it whenever you wish. It's the new screensaver on my phone. And she definitely brought that up at every possible opportunity. She brought that up at Quinn's funeral.
What was Quint's funeral like? Because what kind of miscreant... and distant relatives lumbered their way to Amity Island for this empty casket to get lowered into the pauper's grave. Because, like, what is that sea shanty he's got worth? Like, the only thing he had that was worth anything was that boat. And it's on the bottom of the fucking Atlanta.
He's got all that moonshine. True. And all those shark jaws. And Salvatore. Well, Salvatore, I think Salvatore is now a free agent. I think he's indentured. Oh, no. I don't know if he can handle that. can I make a sub can I make a sub vote like a like character like you know characters three and a half sure can I can I make a can I put in a vote for for Quinn's little stick figure
Oh, sure. His very accurate size description of how big that shark is. Yes. That's just charming. I love it. And it's not funny. It's not funny at all. It's not funny. I don't find it humorous in the least. She has never had anything humorous. No. Other than Ellen presuming that you can eventually become. or that might make her titter just a little.
This brings us to our runners-up here, right? Number two, the silver medal. Megan, who is your number two? That would be Man, the Myth, the Legend, Harbor Master Frank Silva. Yes, my number one pick. I'm wearing my t-shirt right now. He's got no time for any of this. He's got some crackers. He's got his rice crisps. crispies he's ready to bring He doesn't know what's going on. This isn't his business. He didn't put that ad in the paper. That was with Skittner. So, okay. First off.
I appreciate the Beetlejuice cosplay he wears off the bat. It's a great black and white plaid that he's resplendent in. Plus a sailor's cap. Plus. A unlike pipe that is. merely dangling out of his mouth. Oh, yeah. Just barely held on to out of disbelief. Also, a bunch of fishermen are coming to hunt a shark and no one has passed this information on.
To Amity Harbor, Harbormaster, Frank Silver. That's what his sign says. I was going to say. Amity Harbor, Harbormaster, Frank Silver. He is the master of the harbor. Why are they not consulting him on any of that? He should be like the second or third call, but they didn't, apparently Polly did not pass this information on. I bet they have beef. That's entirely possible. Do you know, do you think that is, you know, small town beef?
Or do you think that's past lover's beef? Both. Sure. We've got a Hello Mary Lou prom night two situation where prom and all that stuff. been, you know, was overseas during WWII. Sure. The harbor master, Frank Silva, had to stay behind and keep watching the harbor. Sure, that's where he was stationed. They found comfort in each other's arms.
Now they knew the C. Unlike Ellen and Hooper in the book, these two fucked. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Now you're going to think about that horrible sex scene, but with them. Look at his red face. That man is drunk. It's 9 a.m.? He emerges from his shack with no less than three different fruit products in his own. Yes. Cereal, milk, that makes sense. And then a yellow box that I can't fucking determine. It's probably baking soda because he got it, you know, the tummy.
baking soda. That's his additive to cereal and milk? Is that amount of baking soda? He is taking it all day. Oh, wow. He's never eaten a vegetable. He has a tall boy to start the day. Yes. He's consuming multiple volumes. Big old cannon net. Matty Gansett. But he's not crushing it on his forehead. No. I don't think he's crushing it.
Crushing it is not something I associate with the individual I know to be Amity Harbor Harbor Master Frank Silva. And you have to say it that way. He insists upon it. He will pretend he can't hear you. Now, Megan, your Amity Harbor Harbor Master Frank Silva t-shirt. Is it just that sign or is it also a rendition of him? It's just the sign. It's just the sign.
I'm kind of sad it already exists because I would, I would put that up on the shop like in a, in a second, but I don't want to steal somebody else's thunder. I got to remember where I got it because it's a friend of mine and I feel bad that I now. If you remember it, we'll put it in the notes and people will be able to click on it. Any other information that has to be said.
about the reason for this particular season, why we chose to do side characters talking about Jaws, was Amity Harbor, Harbormaster, Frank Silva. I mean, for me, he's like when you see an ever-proud foot. in the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring. And he just scowls at them. It just like... there, now the movie has started. As soon as you see Frank Silva, it's like, all right, we're...
And it's still like a half hour into the movie, but still. Oh, you're barely into it. Yeah. It's the crazy thing about Jaws. It's all bangers. Yeah, exactly. slows down it's like all right now we're now we're in the We're moving. Who is, do you want to save your number two to be your number one? Because we've, we've burned Frank Silva. Uh, yeah, I can do that. Okay. So my number two, another character whose actor is uncredited.
But I love him so. I wonder if either of you will remember him. He's also in the town meeting. And that is Groovy Dentist. Groovy Dentist has a lot going on. There's a John Denver vibe that is palpable. I don't remember grooming dentists. No, I need to know more. He's the only one with a dentist smock in the entire town. Meaning, Jaina, he's off. He's on Brody's side of the meeting. And when Quint scratches after Lady in Blue Dress who turns around, he's the next biggest gawk out of all.
the picture of him the full nature of him is something that is sumptuous to the eyeballs i'm looking at the scene right now Yeah, there he is. Yes. He basically has a Michelle Pfeiffer haircut 20 years early. And he's got tiny glasses. He's got a very fair complexion and has come in dentist uniform to this meeting in between drilling cavities. Well, he's probably Amity's one and only dentist.
And he definitely inherited it from his dad. Right now, this town meeting. My God. It is a banquet. It is a visual banquet. This got some faces. There's a guy. background and a t-shirt. Everybody's dressed like a Williamsburg hipster. He's got like... the leader's head. You know, some of them look like my dad. Between this scene and the bonfire kids, every outfit worn by these layabouts would fetch about $500 a piece. And an Osaka thrift store. Right now. It's unbelievable. All the flannels.
Just the vertical, horizontal patterns, the color choices, the deep Hulk greens, the bizarre Hulk pants purple. It's a lot to take in with just mortal eyes. And you know what? And I feel like every single one of these people showed up in their own clothes. All the costuming budget went to that mechanical fucking shark. So there's no way.
Any of these people are, you know, showing up and like changing the trailer. They're like, show up in what you'd show up in to a local town meeting. And they absolutely did, including this dentist. Who frightens me. He may have been a real dentist. Think deep down serial killer. Like, remember that one guy who did the spinal tap scene in The Exorcist and it turns out he was a murderer? Yeah. My guess is same situation. I don't know this person, but I'm saying the character.
Are you someone who tries to drive while distracted by your phone? Someone who props it on the steering wheel? Or peeks down at it for a glance? Or just scrolls and scrolls? If so, you could be the next person to get into a Thunderbender, get a ticket, veer off the road, or even cause a crash that kills you. or someone else. Enough already. Put the phone away or pay. Paid for by NHTSA. Before we get to number ones, are there any runners-up that you just have to talk?
Well, my number one was already taken. So I, I have a several runners up. Go for it. So I will, I will say that. First one, because I have two that are almost entirely vocal. There is Mr. Hawa. Yes, I love that. That's been one of my runner-up runners-up too. And everyone's favorite disembodied voice, 24 hours is like three weeks. Which is something I say a lot when someone says something that's 24 hours and my husband goes.
But I am 1000% with you with guy who reacts to Hooper identifying a tiger shark with a what? It might be the best performance in the entire movie because at no other point in the scenes in which he appears does he speak with that exact cadence that he does when Hooper identifies the shark that they caught. as a tiger shark. He's more gruffed and pissed in those other moments. But in that one scene, when Hooper says, it's a tiger shark.
A star is born. He's like, this is my last line I'm going to have in this. I'm going to give it my all. Oh, yeah. Then that poor guy's just trying to take a photo. You went out to catch a shark and you've never heard of what a fucking tiger shark is? Again, out of all the shark names, tiger shark is not the crazy.
None of the people that are there seem to know what a shark is or does or wants or anything. They just, was it $3,000? Like, I don't know how much that was in 1975, but a billion, I assume. I assume you could retire on that amount. You could buy a lot of roast. But I would say actual character-wise, I think I would say my favorite remaining is the guy who gets killed in the pond. You guys having some trouble over there? Oh, the poor guy.
I've tried to teach sailing by yelling at children from outside their boat and it's grossly ineffective. I've never done that, but I have taught swimming and it's the same. It's just know what your arms. The arms attached to the top half of your body. Like what's happening with the legs now? Oh boy. I, I, one summer did both lifeguard Maripage and sailing Maripage at a boy scout camp. Again, it was six weeks of my life.
That also was like 24 hours of six weeks. It was fucking endless. It just week after week of yet another group of young people who refused to listen to me when it came to use your leg. Your leg, you only have two of them, and I counted before we all got in, and you all have them. Yeah, I was a Girl Scout camp counselor for, I believe, three years, starting when I was 16. It just doesn't stop. No. No. Drink water. No. What?
stick in a hole that you think a snake is in. Why? Don't take food into your tent. Don't do it. No. I found food in your tent. There are bears in the area. Do you want to meet a bear? No? Well, you're inviting him because you're bringing food into your fucking tent.
Don't come and wake me up at 2 a.m. because you saw a bug. Sorry, I won't do that again. We are outside and it's Florida. You're lucky we are not bugs. I would have totally woken up somebody in the middle of the night to tell them I saw a bug. I'm sorry. You're going to do that next time we visit.
Like, oh, no. Then I'll wake in Flora. She'll be like, where? She'll be like, don't worry about it. Another frightening thing is what happens to fucking robo-lifeguard. Because there are many frightening things. There's jump scares. implications of terrible things happening but Robot lifeguard, you don't see Shark actually meet his leg. But from what you see, that scarred me for life. That's one of the scariest parts of the whole movie. You get the size.
of the shark. And you do all the rest of the math about what's about to happen without ever seeing it. And it is genius. Like, that is... Deeply, deeply unsettling. He's not a 20-footer. It's 25. Three tons. At least. I don't think you understand how many times I've seen Jules. No, I don't think it is. Again, I think there's a reason why so many people talked about it. And I just wanted to find some different way.
speak about it. It's one of those movies that whenever it's on, I'm like, oh, Jaws is on. Well, I don't care if it's going to have commercials, even though I could watch it without whatever I wanted. Hey, Jaws is on. There's no unentertaining sequence in it. There are very exciting sequences in it. There are very quiet moments in it. And they are all fun and interesting to watch. deeply layered i truly this it is
Perhaps the mountaintop of filmmaking. And I say that as where favorite meets best, because there are technical aspects to this. that are simply unmatched. And while some of it is obviously technical skill, some of it is just... crystallizing a story down to its bare minimum because you can't shoot that much of it. Part of it is hiring a bunch of the right actors at the right time to play the right roles. All of it works.
together and there's just not a bad moment in the entire film. Nope. I could look at that shot of quit just out of the crow's nest forever. Oh, I love it. It's so good. It's like, it's like eerie. It's so good. And, you know, we haven't, there's so many aspects to this that we have not mentioned. John Williams being, you know, chief among them for many.
for all sorts of reasons, obviously Steven Spielberg. And you say, obviously Steve, like, but he did this. He did this in his early fucking twenties. He did this. He did this fighting for his life out, you know, filming on location, barely able to do this. He made a great sequence in his editor's fucking... swimming pool. So that's where we're at with this movie. Any other, Gina, do you have a side character you want to bring in that?
that isn't your last. I always appreciate poor Cassidy who passed out before he went for a swim and presumably, you know, it was a precursor to getting laid. What kind of guilt was Cassidy have lived with after? We don't really, we don't see him anymore after Chrissy's body. The way he's talking about things with Brody, it honestly sounds like he's trying to cover up a murder.
She must have drowned. It's like, ooh, you are running real hot on the drowning answer. Or maybe you passed out and I killed her. I don't remember. I mean, no, no, no. She must have drowned. I definitely did not wake up with blood on my hands and a knife next to me. That's for damn sure. She must have drowned. Also, have either of you been so passed out from drinking that you were not aware? that like the tide was coming in around your body. One birthday, we went to a local tiki bar.
several shots on top of the normal tiki drinks that I was drinking. Becky had made me key lime pie for my birthday. That's the last I remember. That birthday went on for another two hours that I am unaware. So you're saying there is a point where you might have been laying along the shoreline with the waves gently. Yes, 1,000%. And after that, the rule was tiki bars are two drinks tops. Yeah, I mean, it's entirely possible. And also on a beach, which is not smart, everyone. No, I definitely...
I've definitely been drunk on the beach many times because, again, I grew up in a beachside town, so it was kind of a rite of passage. Many things about Cassidy are memorable. A, that his haircut tells me he's a boy who likes berries and cream. Two. He wears a sweater to the fucking beach. Well, it's night. I know it's night, but how much sand are you picking out of that sweater? Oh, too much, but this is an East Coast beach.
Yeah, it's going to be chilly. It is going to be chilly. None of your California beaches. No, no. That's my experience. It's always 65 degrees no matter what time of day. So, Patrick, quick question. that the characters at the beginning of Friday the 13th, the original make at each other across the campfire. just seems a little more believable. It seems more grounded. I mean...
Spielberg, not known for hot and heavy sexuality. I think he's very, very lucky here that he found two people that are quite age appropriate. And it's 1975 and all it takes is a look and they're free. And she immediately is like, what's really going to make this happen is if we get naked. And then get in salt water because that's the perfect aphrodisi.
Never. What do we say? What do we say on Kill by Kill? No. in the water sex and water don't fucking mix they may they make for great visuals but in real life that that is just drying things up on the beach either. No, no, no. Now you're adding grit. Grit. Now you're... You're making your own sandpaper. And they don't have a blanket. No, they don't. What are they going to do? Fuck on top of his dirty sweater? Yes. That shit ain't happening. Probably. But yes, the heat.
actually is there and Chrissy appears to have the best time in the 40 in the 1975 NFL combine by the way she sprang. She basically shakes Cassidy out of whatever those weird 70s booties he's wearing. to that party. But yeah, the other thing is any movie podcast worth its salt can break down the sequence and how Spielberg creates danger and the unknown and shooty Chrissy from what feels like the bottom of the ocean to show you there's...
So much below her that she could never nearly know about in advance and how that. you know fear and she's yards from shore but she's out way too far considering what's hunting her just below the surface and we could get into the stunt rig and how the the this actress was actually a stunt woman adjusted the gear so that she could release herself from the harness, unlike what they tell you.
in guide school, which I told to like thousands of fucking people over my lifetime that it was a complete goddamn lie. But that's all I have to say about Chrissy. The Jaws ride is a good ride though. I mean, I haven't been on it for 30 years. Now, you're used to the Jaws ride in Florida. No, I've only ever been to Universal Studios, California.
It's great. I would caution you five times a day for a full year. And it's charms will be lost on you. That's fair. I understand that. But the ride that was in Florida and that's now only in Japan. Like one of the thrilling moments of my life was taking Ollie on that ride. and going, you're never going to get this anywhere else. I wore my Jaws 2 t-shirt there.
And holy shit, every employee in the JAWS was like, JAWS! JAWS! They were thrilled. If you ever have the opportunity to go to Universal Studios Japan, I can't tell you. To go enough. They were lovely. Just the loveliest. It's only gotten better with me not involved. I'm just looking here to see if there's anyone. have left. It should be said that Ellen Brody...
She's not a side character, but it should be noted that Lorraine Gray... got this role because the president of MCA, the Universal Parent Company, Sidney Sheinberg, told the producers that he felt Lorraine would divorce him if he did not get her this part, which turned out good for him. Problem was Jaws producer, Richard D. Zanuck of the 20th century Fox Zanuck. had promised his actress wife that role. Her name was Linda Harrison. And when he did not get it, she did divorce him.
That happens. It's not even like it's a huge showy role. No. She's gone by like the last half hour. I know. It's kind of wild that both of these women are like, I need this role in what... Was at best like a B movie for Universal at that moment in time. Yeah. But that's just the way the cookie crumbles. That whistle that he blows on the beat. has keys attached to it so he doesn't lose it. I think it's for him to not lose the whistle, not for him to have keys.
He might get lost. Pippen is addicted to stick. He rejects obvious paw pruning, unlike Alex Kittner, who recognizes that his fingers are pruning. He just wants to go in for a little bit. Is it so hard for people to know that the dog's name is Pippin? Because I see so many people, they'll be like, I've never been able to figure out what that dog's name is. I'm like, it's Pippin. He's saying Pippin. He's saying Pippin. Like, what the fuck is Pippin? Again, it sounds like Pippin.
Because of whatever fucking accent he has. But it is Pippin. The tongue is against the top of the mouth. There's no such thing as a Pippin. A Pippin? In 1975, people know what the fuck Pippen is. Yeah. He's a big Bob Fosse fan. Megan, you're number one. Or what is in your final. What is in my final slot is a, just a small side one. And it is the lady in the blue bandana that Joe Hill thought was a murder victim. Shout out to the investigative skills of Mr. Joe Hill. Turned out it was.
But, you know, he tried. You know, we can't all be good at writing and true crime. Exactly. Sometimes you got to leave well enough alone. Again, another thing that would be a great. subject for Amity Island PD. Yeah. Bye. They've only got two cops. It's really going to be hard for one of them to cover cold cases when you don't really have anything else to do. Gina, what about you? Well, my number one was Abby Harbor Horror Master Frank Silva. I'm going to name a leather...
a single mother queen, Mrs. Kintner. A woman who knows her hat. She is 58 years old when she gave birth to her son. So she's had it hard. She has. She has. But she's doing her best. She is in mourning. No one has worn. since the Great War. She looks like a mafia widow. Is she a mafia widow? Because that is the one aspect of the book.
That, again, does not make it into the movie. The thread they pick up in Jaws 2, but we'll get to that when we get to it. But the whole mob element actually does look like a morning mob wife. Is she led? to witness the dead shark on the docks by her father. Or her husband. Or her brother. Who can say? Who knows who all these old men are? He looks like a Martin Scorsese character. But Kipner does not exactly communicate. to find families either. Okay, sure. If she was a mob...
and therefore had been a mob mom, Alex Kittner would have gotten out of that water. Right, yeah. That's true. Yeah, she wouldn't have put up with that. No, there'd have been no going back in though he was starting to prune. There'd have been no whining. The minute he whined, he'd have been off that beat.
She would have pointed a finger and that's all it would have fucking taken. And then kid's like, oh, I guess I'll play shark hunter or something. Yeah. Like get off the beach, Alex. Get her on your little floaty. She's very observant. She knows that kid's fingers are pruned. And he wears her down. And she's like. I'd rather finish this novel. I'd rather enjoy this floppy head. Didn't have to convince you to stay out of the fucking water. And...
You can watch Jaws before you're a parrot, and then you watch Jaws after you're a parrot. And it's a different movie. I'm just going to say it for the record. Alex Kittner is addicted to that fucking raft. He's playing with fire. And fire has teeth and it lives in the ocean. And it just leaves little bits of them floating at the shore. And now you look like a seal on your little...
Floaty. A lot has been made of that one behind the scenes photograph of Bruce sticking out of the water because they couldn't actually back him back into the water. Like glomping on him. Yeah. just near him and you're like, that is fucking nightmare fuel. I will say you don't have to see that. And it's probably like, you know, anything painted on the side of the van. If you saw it in motion. it probably wouldn't have been good than what you put together in your mind.
I mean, also, I think that the blood explosion is a lot more effective. Because it's like, what the fuck did he do to that kid? He basically ends up getting sucked into the bed from Nightmare on Elm Street. What major artery did that shark just bite and chomp into? Or possibly all of them. Just grinds him into liquefied paper. Like, I can't believe how much blood is in that kid. He's already pruning.
And they're worried he's going to spill out all over the dock. Like there's nothing left. No, no. Yeah. Like what? Like a patch of skin. He's got like a jigsaw puzzle left. of his skin left. There's just a pile. A broken bone. And that's about it. That would spill out. But okay. That is the one piece of advice we get from Mayor Vaughn that I actually buy. Yeah, he's all like, when Mrs. Kittner comes up and...
fruity. The mayor's like, she's wrong. It's like, no, she's not. She's not. No, no. Although she should have slapped Mayor Vaughn as well. There were more slaps to go around. Just light up. Suddenly, Mayor Vaughn is wearing a hockey helmet after that. You just need to be like a Three Stooges, just slapping them, then going back and slapping them all again. I mean, the bull.
Vaughn, who obviously in the book is like owned by the mob and everything. But for him to go like, hey, let's just get back out there and see what happens. Come on. We only saw one child get turned into blood frappe. What are the chances of that happening again? And then, oh, my kids are on that beach too. Kids. Again, the... Audacity. Name these children. Where are they? It's like...
to put my children's life at risk for the summer resort season two. Well, one of them was supposed to be a main antagonist in Jaws 2 and then they changed the name of that character. Again, that's a, that's a Jaws 2 podcast. You don't get as much as those. You don't get as many of those. Jaws 2 podcast? Yeah. Yeah, that's a rarity. It's the only one left. Unless there's a secret Jaws movie I'm not aware of. So we can't do them all in a row. Rounding it out here. My number one character.
actually, that we never see, but we do see the path of destruction left behind. And that is the karate school nine-year-olds that Polly tells us have been karate-ing fences in the area. She just said that so shocked too. How is this a verb? Karate-y. worst thing that happens to Annieville after the shark attack. Well, frankly, if this karate school has created an army of raging grade schoolers strong enough to...
Karate yee yee. All the fences in town. The shark is our biggest problem, but there is a definite number too because they're busting up bike rental stores. They're fucking up tires. We're like one barrel of green ooze away from being seriously fucked. Yeah, they're the biggest problem for the town on land. Yes. The children of Amity are a menace. Yes, they are. the 70s, but no one is watching that. Also, one of my honorable mention characters is the two kids who almost...
Yeah. For pretending to be a shark. Those little nightmares. Yes. Sean is just on the beach. He's like two. Yeah, he's dealing with Muffin Man problems. That's Sean's deal. That poor little kid. He's so cute. He's adorable. Watch your child. He's so small. You're on the beach. There's a shark on the loose. Someone put eyes on that fucking thing. Ellen's like gesturing in a general direction like, I've got Sean. No, you don't. No, you do not have Sean.
She does not have Sean. Sean is running after his brother going, Michael, in the most adorable voice. It could get pushed, shoved. punted into that pond where a gigantic shark monster is. She does not have Sean in any way, shape, or form. That is an absolute lie from Ellen, a woman keeping many secrets. I also want to know what book... Chief Brody has gotten out of the library that's like, here's some pictures of...
Sharks being attacking boats. A book of all the things to freak you out about sharks. Painted by one person high on mescaline. I would have checked it out of the library. Oh, that book, definitely. It was next to an encyclopedia of ghosts with real photos. And I had it every week. Yep. That Reader's Digest, Strange Stories, Amazing Fact.
Yeah. I'm going to tell you right now, we're not going to choose our own death venture because this entire episode has been choosing our own character venture. And frankly, we've gone nearly an hour and a half. Anyway, almost all of our picks except for Ben Garner, as far as we know, survived at the end of the movie. Right. He's the only one who really gets it. Well, estuary victim. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right. Yes. That's true. Some people should have gotten it.
Oh, here's a piece of trivia. Did you know? That Charlie and Dan Herter, who take out the Sunday roast to try to catch a drink, were supposed to be played by Joe Spinell and Frank Pesci? This is what we fucking missed. We missed this. It didn't happen. It's the only thing missing from this is Joe Maniac Spinell fishing for fucking sharks with a chain. Are you kidding me?
The fact that we didn't get it, it's how we ended up here. I just love how that seed devolves into effectively praising your dog. It just becomes good boy. Good boy. Just swim. Swim faster, boy. You got it, boy. Don't look back. What are you going to do? You're not going to make a coherent statement. Don't look back. Don't take off your jacket. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. And how he does not end up in the belly of that shark is as the only reason is that shark is full of Sunday.
Oh, yeah. He's like, you know what? It's not worth it. I don't need all that. But a little bit of genius there to set up how we're going to track the shark later on with barrels by doing it with Doc. I hate to break it to you. Jaws is good, everybody. I'm still amazed they were able to lure him with Chum at all. Because I feel like he's just like, no, I need full torso.
Well, it's just, at that point, it's the smell. He's just like hoping for more Sunday roast. He's like, who's on that boat? He's just hoping for more childhood. Who's on that boat? Let me look at you. Just give me, let me get the scent. He was just leading that shark to Ben Gardner later on. He just amused. He just, you know, thinking about more pruney 11 year olds. Maybe they got a kid on the boat. I don't know. I'll have to follow him and see.
I do like the dog on that one boat. That dog is a good dog. That just about does it. Megan, do you want to tell people about anything you've done online? No, I'm just out there. I'm just out there talking about John. There we go. Gina, where can people find you on these here internets? I write about movies and television and pop culture on my newsletter. Gina does, Gina watches things.substack.com. And I. We're out there on the interwebs. Come and find us. Talk back to us.
Rate and review us on iTunes, your podcaster of choice. Talk back to us on Spotify. That's really nice. We have not received a new Apple iTunes review in a while. So if you like the podcast, please talk back in the center. Tell us your favorite Kill in Jaws or any of the movies that we've covered. We'll talk about it here on the show. That's our promise to you, the Kill by Kill listener. Josh Hollis does a little of our artwork.
Go to revengebodymemphis at bandcamp.com for this theme and all of the remixes that just about does it. But don't worry for it. Forks. Don't worry, Forks. More animal attacks. Body count will continue. For myself, for Megan, and for Gina. Bye-bye, everybody. Talk too much about Sunday Roast. Sorry.