How should I feel if my partner doesn’t orgasm?

into the DMs. We're very excited. And how are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I feel like the closer I've like is in, the closer I got to the second trimester, that I started to feel better. Um, which, again, so thankful for because it's not the same for everyone. Um, but yeah, I'm excited to have a bit of my energy back. I find it so interesting that in pregnancy that generally the first trimester can. The last trimester is obviously difficult physically, your hips and yeah, yeah, yeah. But

between the first and the second trimester. So first trimester is 0 to 12 weeks and then 12 to 24. Is it the second. Are they both 12 weeks. Yep I think so okay. Yeah guys don't quote me on nine months three months three months three months knowledge. Yeah okay. Cool. So the first three months the the baby is tiny, like the size of a date it gets. Yeah. Around that. So but your body is so tired building it to the size of a date. And then when it needs to build it to this, what size does it get

to at the end of the second trimester? Oh God, I don't know. Probably like an eggplant I don't know, it's like quite large. Yeah. You'd think that would take more energy. I just I find it so interesting, like how the energy is so different between the two trimesters. Yeah. I actually don't know the science behind why that is. I mean, it's literally your career. And of course, I know some people have unfortunately like morning sickness throughout the

literally until they come. Yeah. For some people it does alleviate 100%. I think maybe it's just because it's going from like literally nothing existing to organs producing bones building like it's it's weird. It's so weird like that. Yeah. Fingernails, like, everything just starts to form in your body. Wait, so the fingernails. Oh, my God. Of course, the baby is born with fingernails. Yeah, I think by now it's like most of it's. No, some of it's spinal cord is, like,

been created. I don't know how to explain it created. Yes. I'm creating a human in my belly. Wow. Um. It's quite it's quite fascinating. I've got an app that, like, tells you each week that you tick over like the fun facts of like what's happening and I it's funny because a lot of people were like, oh, second time around, you just don't. You're not as fascinated. But I think because it's been almost four years since Harvey, I am still fascinated by it. It's like I want to be

just as excited this time around. So I'm still loving the updates because I've forgotten it all. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, well, there you go. Well, I'm glad you're starting to feel more energized. That's awesome to hear. Now, now we are going to say something that is forget Black Friday. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, that is just give it a moment. The statement forget Black Friday and the reason why we're saying that. Because we know lots of people love Black Friday. I mean,

it's a great time to get in for your Christmas shopping. It's, you know, it's a great time of year to stop. But for us, ruining the campaign, the campaign is forget Black Friday for us, it doesn't make sense, because we know that 88% of you are more likely to move on a Monday at Kik. So at Kik, it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense there. Black Friday does also contribute to quite a bit of landfill. So I think there are some there's some reasons also that we

feel quite passionate about Black Friday. But yes you're right. So at Kik we were like, well why does Friday get all of the hype. So we are now going to be over the next month together celebrating Mondays. Now you might think, how are we going to celebrate Mondays? Well, your favorite day of the week just got better. That's a good line, isn't it? I really like that one. Yeah yeah okay. Yes yes we our amazing team wrote this also. So it's not like we're complimenting ourself here. Okay.

So number one our brand new Pilates trainer Greta. Now we have not dropped a new trainer to you guys for quite a while now. You have been asking for a new trainer. We know you love Pilates, and so we have come to you with the best of the best. So Greta is the ClassPass trainer of the year. Now, if anyone it basically her classes. If you know you know they are waitlisted forever. She is an incredible reformer instructor at kick. She is teaching mat Pilates that will

help you get your reformer fix from home. And just a note there, you don't need a reformer to do her classes there. Reformer inspired. So a lot of the moves, I think we think, oh, in order to, you know, get the benefits of a reformer class or using a reformer, you need a reformer. Absolutely not. We also know that not everyone has well, very, very few people have access to a reformer. So Greta is the solution to that.

And I also have to say, as someone who filmed the workouts with Greta and could not walk for a few days afterwards, Greta is so in terms of Pilates style, she's very, very strong. So I feel like it's a combination of if you lack strength training and you lack Pilates, but maybe something with like for me, for Pilates. I do prefer strength based Pilates. This is like my yeah style. It doesn't move too fast so you don't have to worry about, oh, I can't keep up with the instructor.

You will be able to keep up with Greta, but there is a slow and strong strong burn. I don't think I've ever felt so much muscle soreness after filming before than with Greta. So we are just. So you were just going to absolutely love her? Of course she has the kick energy. She's just oh my goodness. She is amazing. So so so excited for you to meet her. Now number two new workouts will be dropping every Monday

to get you moving. Number three we are giving away cash prizes on Mondays just for moving because we need to celebrate that. It is amazing. So today we are actually giving away $1,000. I mean amazing, great before Christmas to go into the draw, complete any kick workout on a Monday so you need to complete it on a Monday because we are celebrating Mondays. Use the share feature

in App Share on Instagram. And just in terms of what that is, after you finish a workout, it will come up at the end with well done, you're amazing. And then there's a share button. It is quite big. We'll share it on our Instagram as well, so you can see what that is and share that on your Instagram. But just make sure you have your profile on public so we can see it and tag us. Exactly. Yes, that would be helpful. Otherwise it is unlikely we will

see it if you don't tag us. And now number four, which is I think a lot of the cloud links will be very excited by this. Steffi, what is it? If you are new to Kik, if you haven't joined us already, you can get 50% off your first month with Kik. So don't wait for Friday. Come and join us now on a Monday and get 50% off your first month and enjoy the new classes with Gretta! So exciting! Woohoo! Now TikTok. Yes, you're scrolling at night, late at night,

or whenever the heck you scroll. I'm scrolling through and every now and then there are things that, to be honest, drive me crazy. And it's okay. Like, I know some people, we all have our own thoughts. Opinions like things don't like things. That is our prerogative. And my prerogative is to not like some things I'm about to talk about. I think the most annoying thing about it, I love them, I know, but I think the most annoying thing about

it and like this is no shade. Well, it kind of is a bit of shade on TikTok, but like, this is my thing that annoys me the most. Naturally. Right? Algorithm we exactly. We should scroll past things that we don't like. We should do that, right? But sometimes you get so sucked in to kind of like, hate watching something that you're like, oh God, I just have to watch this now. And then once you watch a whole video, TikTok thinks you like it. And so then your feeds

full of it. That's something that I hate. So, so true, so true. Now, this is actually, I think this might possibly become a little bit of a segment. Okay, cool. So what this segment is going to become and you guys please send it in to us as well. What trends can you get around that you love? You're like, yes, this trend is adding value to my life, I love it. And which ones do you like? Please can this trend go to sleep and not come back? Okay, sleep and

look on the algorithm not to come back up. So the one I saw the other day and I just, I feel like this one has just got a little bit out of control. This is for me personally, but it is the TikTok morning shed. Yeah. Have you seen this? This is like when there's, like, a lot to undo in the morning, right? Is that is that what it is? There is a lot. Not just like a few things. There is a lot to undo in the morning. So basically it's people say they're shedding the skin, hair and

other products that they sleep in. And when we say like shedding their skin and hair, it's things they've put on top of their skin and hair that they shed. So then in the they say like they go to bed looking crazy, wake up looking amazing because they shed this stuff. Yeah, I am absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff that these people are putting on and taking off and like all power to them. I just I think about it and I'm like, it's just so unachievable

for me personally. So particularly if it's like a thing that most people are saying you should do every, every day. Oh my goodness me. So first of all, it's things include the silk hair bonnet. I mean that's that's fine. I think that's quick. If you want to put a bonnet on your hair or just have a silk pillowcase. Yeah that's fine, I think also with those silk bonnet, I think a lot of them are also going over those, like curling things. They never fucking work. I have tried

three different brands of the curling. She's talking about heatless curlers, heatless curlers and they never, I don't know, it's probably just my hair type, but they never, ever work. And so every time I see a TikTok, I undo it in the morning and it looks fabulous. I just get so frustrated because I was like, I'm like, that's just

never been the case for me. And it would actually take me less time to do my hair in the morning with a hot curler or something than it would to try and do before bed, and then it fail in the morning, and me have to try and fix it anyway. I don't get it. I don't get that one. I agree, and I do think as well. It's like sometimes there's any even when sometimes people like promote like their airwrap. For example, I have an airwrap, I love it. Yeah.

When a hairdresser uses an airwrap what it looks like, I'm like, oh my God, wow, you can create that at home. And then I try and like, no, I can't. Right. So I feel like as well with the heatless curls, there are some people that pull it out and I'm like, okay, I know my hair would not look like that. But then there's also like, I feel like as well, the effort to put in a heatless curl. It takes quite

a lot of time. I've also I remember I saw Michelle Andrews from shameless talk about it, and I think it was her stylist did a review of I think three of the team reviewed Heatless curls. It was very honest review, which I loved and I think it was Michelle. But one person said like, I had the worst sleep of my life because it's so uncomfortable. Thing is like rock hard in my head and I have a sore neck and no nice hair is worth it. And also the hair is this. It's okay. Yeah. It's not. Yeah.

So the hair bonnet over in your right. The hair bonnet usually is because of the heatless curlers, which takes so much time to put on. The lip stain. Have you seen that? The lip stain. People like paint this thing on their lips and then they peel it off and your lips, like, look like they have a tint. Essentially, just do that in the morning. Those lip stains work in like five seconds. It's the shed. Okay, this is why I don't. I just don't think it's necessary. Um.

Mouth tape. Now, I have to say, I actually am mouth taping at the moment. It takes five seconds and I. But I'm not buying expensive. I've literally go to the chemist. This is a hack for you, for mouth tape. You go to whatever chemist you go to. And I think the brand is like nexavar or something. It's like a, um, it's just like a tape thing that you use on wounds, but it's a white, very thin tape. Yeah. I don't put it across my mouth. I put it from, like,

my nose to my chin. Yep. Vertically. Okay. And I but I don't go all the way through my nose. It's just kind of just wanted to. You could. Yeah. And you can still kind of talk a tiny bit, but what it helps you do is to breathe through your nose when you're sleeping, which can help you get a deeper sleep, which is scientifically proven. And yes, I have to say, I am about that. But that's that's the extent that I'm going to chin strap, a chin strap,

a chin strap, like, what's it strapping to? Like you put it on like you put it around. I think you put it around your ears and it straps up. And I think it's meant to, like, lift your face or something. I just like, we don't need. Oh, that reminds me of, like, the brace that I had to wear with my braces. Yeah, but it's not for braces. It's for. It's for shedding in the morning. Collagen wrap masks, wrinkle patches and under eye masks. It's just. Yeah. It's

just if you. I also think if you were to add up, first of all, the amount of time that takes to put all of this stuff on, I'm going to say, especially with the heatless curls one hour. Yeah. And then the cost of this. But that's it. Like things like a face mask. You can't use that more than once. No. So like it just I just feel like it has got to another. And I do think as well, like another level that is just probably a bit inaccessible and unnecessary. And I also think on TikTok

as well. This is what I struggle with with the algorithm, is that the more shocking the start of the video is, the more likely people will watch it, the more likely to go viral. So when people are doing this shed, the more stuff they're peeling off. Like the ASMR stuff.

That's what gets people engaged in the video. And so I feel like this trend has taken off, but kind of also because of the algorithm, because the more like you're shedding off, the more engaging it is, and then it's actually become something that is putting more pressure on people. I just I just think if you don't have time, don't do it, don't feel pressure. You don't need to be shedding to wake up as like a caterpillar. Like it's honestly like it's a caterpillar. They said a caterpillar

who sheds. No. They turn into a butterfly. They turn into a butterfly, a snake, a snake, a snake. But they shed, I think they shed once a year after they've gone into hibernation. We do not mean to be doing this 365 nights of the year. So I just want to say that is a trend that I'm not about, apart from the mouth tape. Okay, Steffi, you know what's funny is I've actually I keep getting targeted by this face mask. I mean, I think everyone who follows me

would know. Now, I am a massive fan of face masks, particularly James Cosmetics. I've been wearing them for years. But I gotta say, when I think of James Cosmetics, I think of you. Not the founder or anything. Just me. Um, but it's it's funny. It's like it's the there's this brand that keeps targeting me, and I'm so close to buying it, but it's a face mask that you wear overnight. And the results that people are showing in the morning is, like, unreal. Like,

are you sure? But how do you know? But I wouldn't use it every night. But how do you know? Is it reusable? No no no no no no. Like it's it would be like a special face mask. Like, I know like the next day I'm doing something, but you wear it the whole night. You wear it. So sleep is a part of the shed process. Yes. Okay, so you are. Now I'm about to become. I would maybe try this mask, but I wouldn't do it with the heatless curlers and the bonnet and the. And the

lip tape. Is it uncomfortable to sleep with a mask for the entire night? No, it's like a well, I don't know. I haven't slept with it.

good job at scrolling past market trends, which is great. Um, but I wondered if you'd heard of it. Um, but it's it's called. Wait, okra water trend. Okra is a vegetable, and it's this water.

this every day and drinking this slimy, disgusting water. Right. Um, and, and talking about all these, like, benefits, etc. the dietitian breaks it down and basically says, like, other than it being like super high in fiber, which like the vegetable is fine to eat in any kind of balanced diet,

but concentrated to that level is an issue. Like, it can really like fuck with your digestive system and etc. so they have like a lot of problems with this trend, just like any other trend that you see, like the water with the chia seeds in it and stuff like that, there's nothing wrong with chia seeds, okay? There's a lot of benefits in chia seeds, but drinking them concentrated in a water like every day there's a problem with overconsumption.

weight loss, if it's fertility, if it's libido like. And the thing about it that's really hard with fertility that is such a fucking like that is such a delicate space that if you are in that and you are struggling through that, to see something like, oh, if I chop up a vegetable and put it in my water, you probably fucking do it because you are so desperate for that, right? And that's fair, but so unfair because

it's not actually proven or scientifically backed. So just again, another example of a kind of vegetable diet trend that is just absolutely bonkers and false.

this can help with this this it's not a solution. No. And I think what's difficult exactly what's difficult with TikTok in particular with the algorithm is using language like it can. Some people put in kind of disclaimers around it and the like the science backed stuff? That is not a hook. No. And what hooks is definitive language around like this will

improve your fertility, of course. And as you said, Sophie, like if you're going through and it's also very likely if you're going through infertility, your algorithm on TikTok, probably, if that's what you're searching and watching, is going to be on things that people are saying is going to help you. Right. And I think what's hard about it is there's obviously no moderation on the platforms around what what advice people are giving. So someone could just start

like whoever started this trend. Someone might have watched one video on it, not understood it, and then made another video and then that went viral and then etc. but I just I think what's really and I'm really struggle with this is just the definitive language that we have that we have to use. But with hooks on TikTok like this will help. It's not and it's not. It's not true. But that's what hooks people in. And it's

why that type of content is going viral. And it's why we just we don't see much about like, or in some cases or whatever it might be because that's not a hawk. So it's really, really hard. And I just think it's so important to keep in mind when you're watching this type of content, because it is very likely that the person has, I don't know, just they've changed the wording. So it like it is. It has

that hook, which just makes it really difficult. Now I just want to say one positive one before we go, because there are some good trends and I want to I wonder if you've done this. There's this lady I follow on TikTok and she cleans her apartment with the timer on.

it really interesting. And that's a trend that I can get around. I think it's a really good idea. Timed yourself cleaning it. I haven't, but I do. I'm like, that is a good idea.

So there was a bit of a time pressure, but I didn't necessarily time it. But I did put my phone on Do Not Disturb, put it on charge in the corner and didn't touch it. I actually missed a call from your lovely husband in that time, because it was the first time in a long time I haven't had my phone on me and I got it done. So yes, not.

have thoughts on. So that is why. But the other day I was on Instagram and a post from Women's Health came up. Women's Health Australia. We'll link it in the show notes. We'll link the article in the show notes that the post was about, and I was like, oh my goodness, Steffy, we have to talk about this because I feel like it is something that we don't talk about enough. But I do think if we are in this position, it takes up a shitload of time

in our mental space slash load. So someone sent in a question to Women's Health asking if she should be offended that her partner doesn't orgasm with her. So the question was, I've been seeing this guy for a few months now and things are going well. We have fun together, we communicate well, and I feel like we're really compatible in so many ways. But there's something I can't stop thinking about. So far, he hasn't had an orgasm during

sex with me. He says it has nothing to do with me, but I can't help feeling like maybe I'm not attractive enough or that I'm doing something wrong. I'm not super comfortable around sex and this makes things worse. It's been hard to talk about, and I don't want to make things worse by pushing him to talk about it more. But I don't understand what's going on. What should I be doing? Yours. Frustrated and confused now as I am, Akimi, who is a qualified relationship and intimacy expert,

commented on this which we will read through. But first of all, Steffi, what do you think of this? I feel.

comfortable with this person, even at that stage. So I wanted to point that out because this is like they've just freshly started dating. It sounds like, and she's not super confident or like comfortable around sex. So as someone who is very comfortable with having sex with a partner, you still kind of think like you're married.

going on. And then I realize, okay, it's got nothing to do with me. And I also have to remind myself in those moments that there are plenty of times that we have sex. And I'm enjoying it, but I'm not going to finish. It's just like it's not going to happen that day. Whether there's something going on in my mind or my body or whatever doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it, doesn't mean I don't want to be doing it. It's just not going to happen. And that's

got nothing to do with what he's doing. He could be doing a fantastic job and it's just not going to happen. And I have to remind myself of those moments in in those times because it's just it's something that happens. But it is such a I don't know why it's so awkward to talk about.

I must be doing a shit job. Yeah, but then that person, the other person who isn't able to finish, is probably thinking like, oh my goodness, I can't get out of my head. How embarrassing. They must think that, like, there's it's just so interesting. I feel like there's so much shame that we put on ourselves in that situation, when it's often not actually to do with us, and it's for factors outside of us. And I think that's because we we go for someone to blame. Right? It's like,

and we blame ourselves. And I think that's what's really difficult because as we can see in what the relationship expert came back with, she said, like some things that could be causing it are stress, anxiety and depression. All of those things are outside of the control of this person that sent in this question in that moment. Exactly right. Medications, again, totally out of control. And medication is something that people

could need. And it might medication can a side effect can be impacting your libido or your ability to finish. But if you need the medication like that, that is what it is, right? Issues within the relationship, physical health conditions, trauma or negative sexual experiences. And if that's from the past again, yeah, you you can't control that. Right. As the new person in the relationship. Overstimulation from other activities

like porn or masturbating. And I know, like if I, I sometimes accidentally put a if you put a vibrator on too high and you don't build up to it, you literally my clitoris goes completely numb. It's so true. Does that happen to you?

a conversation about it. And it's there's it's often like 99% of the time, nothing to do with you. And there shouldn't be any shame about it. No.

move on from it. But I know, we know and we've spoken about the orgasm gap before on here. A lot of women don't finish during sex, and whether it's because their person that they're having sex with doesn't necessarily care, or just they just haven't gone. I don't know what it is, but it exists. Right. So we did a poll on our Instagram story because we wanted to know if there was an orgasm gap in your relationship, because

I think it's also an important part of this. You have every right to to want that for yourself, to want that for your partner. Um, and unfortunately for a lot of women in heterosexual relationships, there's a huge gap. So the poll had the following options. Yes, I orgasm more. Yes, my partner orgasm more, orgasms more. No, we orgasm equally and then people just wanted to see the results. And the results were interesting. So yes, I orgasm more was the smallest result at 5%. So knowing that a lot

of our listeners are women listening. Um, that was quite interesting. Yes, my partner orgasms more 38%. No, we orgasm equally 30. I was kind of happy to see that. That was like pretty close to partner orgasm more. And then just wanting to see the results was 27%. So, um, you know, a big percentage of people were just curious, which was

totally fair. Um, but I just wanted to bring that up because I think it is important in this conversation as well, because I think just going to the point earlier, I know this whole question was about their partner not finishing as well. But if that's you in your relationship and you're the one that's not finishing and there is something that's going on, feel okay to talk about it. Like feel comfortable to talk about it, um, because you

both deserve to enjoy your time in the bedroom. Um, and I think if it's someone that you're going to be regularly having sex with, then you should be able to have those conversations.

just I can't. Right. So I think the other thing to, to talk about as well is just there's a lot of women that go without orgasms within sex, but I think maybe it's because of movies or just what we've grown up to, to kind of believe is that a man like for sex to like, finish a man should and will. And I think that also puts more pressure

on this. But I think if you think about it like there's been so many times where we've had sex and I, I orgasm from like other things and then but there's times when I'm like, just just as you said before, like, I don't think I am going to today. Yeah. And that's that's fine. Like that's okay. It doesn't mean I don't love my husband. It doesn't mean we don't have great sexual chemistry, have great sex, are attracted to

each other. And so I think too, it's okay as well if your partner if you're in a heterosexual relationship and your male partner doesn't orgasm. I just think there's so much pressure on like, you know, and it's every movie. It's like when the guy orgasms. Well, sometimes in movies it's both, but mainly it's just when the guy orgasms like that is the signal that sex is over. Yeah, but it doesn't. That doesn't have to be the case every single time. And I think that puts even more

pressure on this when it's not this person. Right. It's hard. Yeah, totally. And on the guy as well because they probably also feel that pressure. Well, unless I finish this, sex isn't over. And like, what if I can't then like, is it real? Like sex? Which obviously, of course it is. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I just think the more we talk about it, the better, because sex is not like the movies. Yeah, but.

and there's another two to read. So one came out this year. There was originally four in the series, and now there's five. Does that excite you? That excites me. Okay, amazing. I'm already on page. I started reading the other book yesterday, and it wasn't like a day where I just sat down and read like there was other stuff I was doing, and I'm already on page like 150. So like, I'm really into this book. Um, and basically, like Daisy hates and Magnolia Park. So Daisy hates is like part of

a gang family. Her and her brother lost their parents. Um, I think his dad was a part of, like, gang violence, etc.. And but they're very, very wealthy. But they're like gang lords kind of family. And she she's just such a likable character. No no no no no. And it's based in London. Yeah. And then Magnolia Parks is like the it girl of London. Like she's in all the papers. She's invited to all the parties, all the guys like her, like that kind of thing. And they're just they're both

such interesting characters, different but really interesting. And their love interests and like, history and stuff comes into the story so much, and you just become obsessed with their partners and like, you're wanting it, you're wanting them to work it out. I don't know how to explain it. Um, but there's just a lot of drama and it's a bit over the top because of, like, who they are

and everything, but I really love it. I really it's kind of like Gossip Girl speak like they're from very wealthy families and stuff, but not necessarily, like just had a wealthy family. Well, Magnolia Parks, I think is a bit of a like it girl from a wealthy family. But Daisy, it's like the gang lord stuff. So it's a little bit like rougher background, but they're both very like, I don't know, I think I just, I think you'd like it.

shout out. Yeah. Nice. Love it. So if you like, if you are really into hydrate not hydrolyte hydrate products, which is like a very big growing category at the moment. That tastes yummy. Definitely try unify watermelon. Love it.

We'd love your support on our Instagram at Kick Pod. Come and follow us over there! That's where you can send in your DMs and get involved with segments, but we will be in your ears Wednesday by wait.