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Forty Nature, Mark talks about pontificates the pop Culture Ronner Report with Mark Ronner.
It's Later with Mo Kelly on KF I am six forty live everywhere on the iHeart app. I'm Mark Ronner and it's the Runner Report. If you only see one horror comedy about a cursed killer toy monkey, the Monkey might be for you.
Here's a little bit of the trailer.
For the longest time, there was nothing. Then it appeared, a beast not from this earth, smiting the ones who deserved it, the ones who didn't, and everyone in between. Whoever controls it controls life and death, and those deaths are really stop.
Holy Everybody dies.
And that's life.
Im messing there. Have you been up there?
It's like that restaurant Spaghetti City.
Everything okay there, Yeah, everything's fine, or as Inspector Clouseau would have called it, to the Minky. It's from Stephen King short story, which isn't automatically the mark of quality, even if you love King like I do. And to answer your first question, it's called the Monkey. But no, there's no feces flinging. Well, what's left you asked in your second question. King published this story in a porn
magazine called Gallery way back in nineteen eighty. Seriously, those were venues for working short story writers to get published and paid. That market doesn't really exist anymore, and the number of people who make a living writing short stories probably qualifies them as being extinct now. Harlan Ellison did the same thing in magazines with titles like Jent for
Real and Playboy. Of course, I think one of my first rejection letters for a short story was from Playboy when I was a teenager, and they didn't even send a real go to hell letter from an actual editor. It was a generic statement printed on a slip of paper, not even a whole sheet of paper. And God, my self esteem was so healthy. This movie of Kings the Monkey is by Osgood Perkins, who perpetrated Long Legs last year, which was strange in which I liked, and which you
can find streaming now. It starts Theo James, who was recently in Guy Ritchie's The Gentleman miniseries and who's been rumored to be a contender for Bond. He plays twin brothers who hate each other and who find this obnoxious, noise making toy monkey. When they turn the crank in its back and it hits its little drum, someone dies in a freakish, gruesome, final destination sort of way. Because noisy children's toys aren't annoying enough on their own as
a toy, this cursed monkey's even better than jarts. You remember those, mo and pale your friends with these.
I can't believe they never sold those are allowed to sell them?
Their weapons, sharp tip throwing missiles, lawn darts, eyeball spears, tomato tomato anyway. Twin brothers THEO throw the monkey in a well after they see it's evil and causes people to go splat, but it resurfaces when they're adults. They become estranged, and the more normal twin named Hal becomes an adult with no friends and an estranged young son because he doesn't want to put anybody at risk being
around him. So Hal and his son have to return to their family home to stop the monkeys killing somehow and deal with the crazy brother. It's all pretty entertaining as horror comedies go. If you'd rather see one of those than a horror movie or a comedy movie. It's hard to blend those, and if you heard my review of Heart Eyes recently, you know they can easily turn out to be a Code Brown as Stephen King movie
adaptations go. The Monkey is no Shawshank or The Mist, but doesn't even come close to being the kind of diaper gravy the Dark Tower and lawnmower Man were. There's your Rotten Tomatoes quote right there. I like lawnmowre Man. We could go there's a sequel to it as well, but I can't get sidetracked here. Also, The Gorge is streaming on Apple TV Plus. This story got my attention yesterday. It said Apple Original Films The Gorge is the biggest
film launch and the streamer's short history. It crushed the numbers from last falls film Wolf's starring George Clooney and Brad Pitt, and to be honest, I didn't even make it to the end of that stinker. While Apple doesn't reveal specific numbers, it did confirm the straight to streaming release was the biggest premiere in Apple TV plus history after its Valentine's Day debut. Here's a little bit of that trailer.
I have new orders that require me to go dark for at least a year.
Maybe Moore.
A special assignment in an undisclosed location.
As an elite sniper. Are you presently under any private or military contract. No, there's not a lot of reasons for me. Right now, what.
If I gave you a reason?
There she is West Tower observation post your home for the next.
Three hundred and sixty five days. There is no outside communication here. What's that on the other side? That is East Tower.
Contact with the other side is strictly forbidden.
So what's the mission? You keep people from going in the gorge? No, you need to stop with in the gorge from coming out.
What the hell is that?
The gorge is the door to Hell and we're standing got to the gate.
I don't really believe in guilty pleasures, but this one comes close. The whole movie plays out like cut scenes in a video game that's been plotted by committee. But it's got some creepy production design, some fun tense set pieces, and look, it's not trying to take away your social security. Okay,
it's a fun watch, Miles Teller. As you heard an Annya Taylor Joy play American and Russian or maybe she's Lithuanian expert snipers who get hired for a one year gig to stand guard and towers on opposite sides of a fog shrouded gorge with lots and lots of guns, and those guns are for the things that climb out of the gorge. You also heard Sigourney Weaver in the
trailer as the boss who sends teller. The two snipers aren't supposed to talk, let alone hook up, and they're not supposed to go down into the monster filled gorge under any circumstances, which instantly guarantees they're going to do all of those things. It's fun, but it's kind of dumb. And when I say it plays out like a video game, I mean I could see it as a by the Numbers Resident Evil installment or something like that. I just had to look up did the Gorge come from a
video game? And no, the answer is no. The director Scott Dereckson, who did a Doctor Strange movie. He did The Black Phone and some other respectable horror stuff. I kept imagining this story filtered through other filmmakers who are more raw and stylized in how they approach things, so that it would have been really unsettling instead of kind of a fun action horror thing. I'm a jig. You're gonna think I'm nuts. But Christoph Ganza's Silent Hill was
a little closer to the mark. It's worth noting that Telor and Taylor Joy were in two of the most flaming piles of garbage of Marvel movies, the horrendous Fantastic four movie from twenty fifteen that nobody talks about anymore and the Powerful sleep Aid New Mutants. So there's that to think of while they're hooking up. And noted that
other question and you're thinking, there's no nudity. Bo I see you watching this movie, because this is one of those kind of just be entertained and don't be critical of it movies. Can I stream it at home now? It's on Apple TV Plus. Okay, Yes, that's good enough. Okay, so I don't have to like leave my house, I'll do it.
You won't want to leave your house. You want to stay home.
That's there's your other Rotten Tomatoes quote. It's just I think that the director Derekson was inspired by video games. You're not much of a gamer, but no, I mean a little more than two hours. It's better than a video game, because your girlfriend isn't going to wake up to find out that you've been up playing it all night when you should have been sleeping so you can look for a job during the day. She's going to throw you out. It's not going to be because of because
of a video game. And this has nothing to do with me or my look. I was getting ready to ask you. Bo's going to ask you theoretically because I'm sure we have listeners in that position, and I would never do such a thing.
Pea the time I'm responsible at don't right at.
What people don't know is Mark will come into the office every day, I don't know, maybe five forty five or say five forty five or so and say good morning, so I know he's just waking up at the crack of noon.
Well you should know, though, that I have never once played Resident Evil all night. Never, well never once, I mean several dozen times, perhaps.
In my in my ute ute, yeah, two utes.
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