@GaryandShannon - Parenting With JustinWorsham

Justin Morsham has joined us takes.

Yeah, we talk with don't get me started on center stage, because that's a.

Whole other thing.

Justin is probably the most popular multi hyphen it here'kfi.

How does that work?

Well?

We talk about parenting on Wednesdays and on Sundays you roll in and talk about real estate.

These are renaissance.

We talk about adulting.

Uh, let's talk about successful kids working on one key emotion.

And this was I gotta be honest, I was taken aback by this that the key emotion for your kids to grow up successful is awe. And if I'm reading this correctly based on the information of the study, is that the parents need to be in awe of their children.

What.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be keep the awe in your kids as long as possible, so where your kids are like, oh, that's wonderful or that's great, or that's beautiful or that's cool or you know, so your kids aren't quicker than they should be.

And that could because there's other parts of it where they allude to the fact that the parents who were also experiencing awe. So what my general takeaway from it was is that if your bar is very low, then you tend to be happier in general and maybe more successful.

Welling parents should be in awe of their kids. Don't give it the kids the power, isn't it.

I mean, don't get me wrong. My kids have there.

Each of them have had two moments or one each where I was genuinely, insincerely in awe of what they decided to do. So I was proud of them that the proud pride is the second in this study. So you the number one emotion for the predictor of success is awe, and pride is number two, which I thought was also I.

Think of in awe of something, I think like delighted or surprised by the magnitude.

They did the thing, and I'll try and pull it up here. They did the thing of they gave you like. The Webster's Dictionary defines alle as and uh and they give you a different one the Merriam Webster Dictionary. An emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime.

Now hit the second one if you don't mind strong.

This one from dictionary dot com an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, et cetera, produced by what produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful or the light.

Something that should be revered is not your child.

Yeah, and that's what.

So again, this just kind of threw me off my balance because I'm like, am I supposed to be admire And there's a lot again, there's a lot of ways that I genuinely, sincerely do admire my kids. But I don't know, I don't know that you know, like to me, the equivalent of like, you know, who rescued who?

Well, if this kid does something kind or you know, wonderful, you can.

Can you imagine being a base because your kid does something kind? So true?

But yeah, true kids are selfish, little being.

Kids made me dinner last night while I was on like a zoom meeting.

And that's really like he was sick or he was inhabited by an alien. I'm like, you're doing that.

That is when AWE comes in. I was so.

Along those lines when when you say awe, I think of the context of like, this is the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen in my life. I can't wrap my head around what is going on right now. If you if you are in awe of your kids, maybe it's not because of what they've done, but you're like, I can't believe that two human beings can get together and create another human being.

I'm in awe of that.

Person, and you're in awe of yourself, not the kid.

It did say.

The author of the article said, when I read things like this, it reminds me, if I needed it to, that being a parent really is an almost incomprehensible.

Gift, which I do not feel that being a parent is an incomprehension. It sounds like I feel like it's a job that.

I signed up for that I didn't know what I was getting into. But I do enjoy like that's like from time to time. That's a better way to say, I enjoy it from time to time. I do not find joy in it every day.

I don't. I probably am through swaths of it I didn't.

I could say I did not find enjoyment from it most of the time. Right there, it's fleeting moments of joy and I have enjoyed it.

Moment worth it. They do that.

But again, I don't know if this is like an evolutionary thing that we've just had, Like it has to be ingrained in us, that we have to psychologically think that because he smiles after he farts when he's kept me up all night, but that makes it all worth it.

Maybe it is, but it's still.

There's a little bit of, like I don't know, sociopathic aspects to it, that you have to like trick yourself into finding the fun and being beat on and vomited on.

That's frue.

It's true.

I mean, parents do make allowances for their kids.

A lot, and then they get older and all they do is not appreciate you and become generally annoyed by you and don't want you around. Like so, I'm just when I see this, it's a thing that's very conflicting for me because obviously I come in here, I cry about my kids.

I love them dearly.

I could not imagine my life being any different than what it is.

But I did not. I do not think I would.

Use AWE to describe how I feel a good chunk of the time. And maybe we'll see, maybe my kids will be less successful because of it.

No, that is not true, you know, because.

Listen, you're a successful guy. I thank you clearly I have hyphens. Your dad would not be in awe of you, No, and if he was, he would never admit it.

Which is a funny thing because I feel like this is the push towards telling your kids that you're in awe of them, and that I think puts a very That's a bad move.

That's a bawful It's so stupid. I think it's really stupid. I feel like the thing that I've strived for is to hear that my parents are proud of me.

That's like the number one thing.

And I think that it's never changed throughout my entire life, Like that's what I want.

You want that?

And there's this weird I think high wire tuggle war whatever where it's like because if they give the pride too fast and east right, then it's like it doesn't feel earned.

They've got to pay attention to you for thirty five years.

Exactly right, you can't. But is it funny how we all we all have these similar vibes like.

I have this one, and you should want that as a kid.

You should want to make your parent proud and your parents should want to be proud of you. You know, all of these things The awe thing is just like give me that's a little too new parent age foo food to me.

It be in awe of your check coming back.

This right here is my biggest feared anxiety I've always had as a parent is that I've always felt exactly like we're all saying we feel yeah, but I'm like, what if everybody else who is blowing that much sunshine up their kids a that like, that's they're actually the one.

I have a lot of friends, most of my friends have kids, and that that is never a conversation. I was in awe of my daughter and like, that's not a thing.

I've never heard somebody heap that much praise on that kid.

But let me go back to what I said earlier, when I said, is that when you think of the awe of being in awe of something this bigger than you, I'm in awe of the the skyscraper that I would never be able to design or build or anything.

If you.

Display that, if you show that to your kids, not directed towards them, but you show them that you are still capable of being impressed by something that I think is a good quality to exactly, because then that gives the gives the kid the ability to not be a giant jade like you said earlier, a jaded a hole through the rest of their life.

One of my least favorite things. When a child is not impressed by something. Yeah, so annoying.

I agree. I mean they should all be impressed by you.

No no, no, no, not me.

I mean by you know, even if it's just like a meal out or.

They got for Christmas, Like they can't wrap their head around the fact they don't deserve it. You gave it to them because you you love them, right or whatever, But they don't get the awe that should be involved with you spent how much money on a on a game system that's going to eat my brain out?

I love it, Thank you. Yeah, I'm all I'm in awe of that. I mean that I pulled a fast one on.

I will get the you know, text messages from friends like can you believe they're you know, thirteen and fifteen? Can you believe I made these kids? You know what I mean kind of thing, and and that I get the awe there of like you know, like we were talking about, I can see that like, oh my god, I did this, we did this. We've all done this, The family has done this. Look at them. They're grown up and they're not broken.

So here's one last bit of perspective is that it also says there was a twenty twenty study that found that if you spent fifteen minutes in a walk out in nature where the things you were seeing were things that you would be considered to be in awe of, you were significantly more likely to feel pro social emotions.

Birds, yeah, feather, it's it's it's the same thing with the people you surround yourself, even as adults, Like if you're surrounding yourself with people who are like, oh it's beautiful today, Like look, do you see those flowers.

Those are incredible.

How bright they're the ones right outside the door, you know, I opposed to someone who's like, I hate my life this day.

My favorite study is the one that said my grandparents' generation was happier than all of us because their bar for happiness was so low.

Yes, they expect keep the bar low.

Justin will continue.

It's like the turban kids.

Justin war just joined us and we're talking about parenting issues, and so new research talks about the importance of reading.

I have a feeling when I read this, I was gobspeck like, I was like, what the hell?

And I have a feeling.

You guys are be like, oh, no, it's important, no, nothing, But fifty four percent of US adults read below a sixth grade level.

Not surprised, really, you've been the target. Yeah, but.

Watch your mouth about target.

I just dealing with people.

Yeah, exactly. And I also think that reading, uh, reading ability can regress. I mean you get out of the practice, just like handwriting, right, your handwriting now is nowhere what it was, nowhere near what it was like probably when you were junior senior in high school because you were constantly writing. I don't write things down I mean chicken scratch numbers here and there. I don't write things down every day. I'll go days without using a pen or a pencil.

I always had third grade level handwriting.

Unfortunately, write me something right, I like, well, you're right with.

The wrong hand, dummy. The it gets even worse.

They didn't beat that out. Uh huh, you're my age. There were no left handing, that's perfectly.

Would you write like you're right handed though?

Oh I do. I don't know.

I just always like people. When I signed my niece's like certificate for because I like a left hand, yet I officiated her wedding and like both her and her now husband were like whoa dude?

Like when I was just writing my name, like GEO, I didn't realize you had palsy exactly.

You should have been a doctor.

But look at how lame that is when I write with my left hand.

Oh, it would be legible.

Yeah that's a joke.

O can't turn hers off for a second time out. Good for you. You found my limit.

Evidently I didn't even know I had one. The other part, so my kids, I've seen them like read aloud. They mess up words constantly, which drives me up a wall. I was never like I imagine both of you enjoyed reading. I know Shannon does a lot. I have never been a person who enjoyed reading. I like listening to like business books, like audio books.

I like that. I'm I will read a book if I like it.

I read like Ready Player one and the Harry Potter book said there was stuff like that, but sixth grade level exactly.

That's what I'm saying is and I've been I'm the guy who's.

Shocked when you say your kids mix up words? What do you mean?

They say it like they'll say something like, uh, I can't.

Even give the example because it's such poor grammar.

Like I just feel like I'm constantly going it's uh, it's I don't know, it's magnification.

Like I would say something mess up, could care less versus no.

No, we're not even at that high level.

And it's like blatantly like I don't think the words you just put together Like I.

Understood you on this show.

I understood that every day people lose their freaking minds.

No we're not there, then they should.

Definitely, we could desensitize these people by having them dinner with my family okay, because it's me constantly going no, it's this word, and my Jack loves to drive me a ball.

He goes same difference. I'm like, no, no, it's not the same difference.

If it was, then I would understand.

I go, I can't send you into a job interview using words like this.

That is nothing to Oh, yes, I know. That's the one time that I know I'm being the victim of it. You still can't stop it, can't stop it.

It's how we communicates, Like communication is very important. The other part that shocked me about this is like how much it's directly correlated to like earnings. People will read at a sixth grade level on average in US make sixty three thousand dollars a year. If you're at a fifth grade level, dips all the way down to forty eight. And I was like, wow, like especially, I mean, I guess today we're all on computers, but just pick of books.

I guess, Yeah. It's not just the book, it's the kind of book. It's the style of book. It's the language of the book.

And I think of different writing styles. The most outlandish writing style that I can think of that I of a book that I enjoyed was The Road by Cormick McCarthy because there, I mean, he was missing punctuation in that book, but it was so I mean, you got to know the rules to break the rules. So clearly he knows how to use punctuation, but he didn't in this book. That to me is a well above a sixth grade level book because of that kind of knowledge.

Not just the big words, not.

Just the the technical aspects potentially of a book that you're reading, but the way the language is used is probably the best indicator of the level of book. You don't get that anywhere. I mean even you know, you could read the New York Times online or in print, whatever you want to do. It's not written. You know, you're always taught in journalisms the newspaper writing. It's not written that way. It's written to be consumed by the I wouldn't say the lowest common denominator, but a pretty

It's just not out there.

And I also always wonder, like Chicken or the Egg, like, are people who naturally inclined to read are just gonna also they're just going to naturally want to improve, right like schmucks like me, like I like to improve in business. Like that's interesting to me. But I very rarely will read a piece of fiction or something like that. It's not my jam. I don't like it.

I would much rather watch.

The movie an somebody else figure out all the visuals for you. Yeah, yeah, paint the picture for me and I break it down. What a flip book?

Very male ver. We will talk trenday.

Only time I've been called that.

It was the only time I've done that about you.

It's not a good right.

Don't forget what you're watching Wednesday coming up. Let us know what you're watching on the talkback feature on the iHeart. Gary and Shannon will be back right after this