@GaryAndShannon - #NineNewsNuggetsYouNeedToKnow

Nine News nuggets you need to know? How would you describe the nine news nuggets you need to know?

I would describe them as you know, we eat the meat and potatoes that are things like Ukraine and the Pope vomiting, and then we get the sprinkles on the cupcake, and the nine News nuggets are the sprinkles and the frosting on the cupcake. It is the dessert of the week, and sometimes it comes in the shape of an inflatable doll.

Here's your honorable mention, honorable mention, not suppose to mention, honor serving with you a great and honorable motive.

So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member of honorable Mention.

You got to try to hide the evidence in some way.

I suppose a Chinese student at hey Fei University of Technology in Central China earlier this month sparked a fire in his dormitory. His roommate a right home unexpectedly, and I guess the guy forgot to put the sock on the door or whatever because he was with his inflatable girlfriend at the time.

Do you have to put a sock on the door for the inflatable girlfriend? Usually isn't it just a save face of the half naked girl in your dorm room. If it's just a doll, no feelings are hurt. No trauma is caused by someone walking in and seeing your doll.

Naked, right, I don't know. I don't know how the doll feels about being exposed like that.

I don't think the doll has feelings. That's the whole purpose. Imagine a woman without feelings. How great would that be?

Now you're talking about fairytale land in other news?

How much money would we make if we solely went to technical colleges and sold blow up dolls, like in a surreptitious way, you know, like getting the way into the dorms kind of like just spread by word of mouth, like, hey, we've got some real cheap off the truck kind of blow up dolls.

That sounds like mechanical tech schools. Don't you think we'd make some money?

I see what you're saying, but I'm going to leave that up to you. Here's number nine, number nine.

I did nine place if a CoP's dirty nine times out of tennis, partner's dirty.

Two and I speak nine languages yea till nine. Basically everybody at table nine, I'd feel ready to go another nine and niner? Did I catch a niner in there where you're calling from Milwaukee talking? I love this thing soventy too.

Haverville Road and Cambridgeshire village of Castle Camps, close to the Suffolk border. There's been a pothole in the ground for months and it says if there were oncoming vehicles, you either have to stop or you hit the pothole and it's not safe. So a carpenter said the pothole had been there for a long time, so his family

It looks like Anti m Antim's house right with the Wicked Witch, with our feet sticking straight up.

I think it's very clever.

Yes, and they're going to prevent people from running into this thing, which could be dangerous.

Here's number eight. O Clive is bold every eight second listening to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.

I love Billy's Pirates matchup for a number of reasons, right sure. One of those is that when you would be able to check out the score on your TV screen with the team emblems and the beginning of the game always starting at zero zero, this would spell out poop right there in your top left hand corner of your television. It was fun, really for the whole family.

Now they say that the new score bug that they're going to use for NBC Sports Philly will not have the Poop series. They're going to change the locations of the logos for the Phillies and the Pirates and so that it doesn't spell out the word poop.

When you look at it. That's no fun. It is no fun. I don't like it.

When listen, the bugs themselves have gotten to the point where they're unobtrusive. A few years ago they were super annoying and they got in the way. The one at Super Bowl was super annoying simply because it was different than what we had seen in the past. And now just just let it exist. It's okay if it says poop every once in a while.

The more I think about that, that crawl there at Super Bowl.

I mean, that was the most interesting thing about that game. It was the one that generated the most conversation. That's exactly. Here's number seven, the seventh son of the seventh son. We're on with seven day the government seven seven A seven years of college done to drain seven.

This is like that old Seinfeld episode about the soup Nazi. We've got a Ramen Nazi. It seems like a Ramen soup place has put a bounty on the heads of two customers who left them.

A bad review.

Toyo Euro is a highly rated euro style Ramen restaurant in Kyoto, Japan, and they took to Instagram to declare war threatening the two guys who left this awful one star review. They're offering cash to people. I can identify these guys, by the way.

Yeah, he said, you should probably avoid eating out. Someday someone like you will get screwed. I don't care. Just come directly and I'll deal with you.

This is what I do when people leave us reviews on Yelp. That's exactly how I respond.

Who leaves reviews for people doing a radio show on yelp?

Mm hmm, do it on Facebook like normal people? Right, that's not true. Here's number six. I got six, you got six six.

There's six more weeks of later picture of me or rabbi and six drunk and longshomny.

We just dig it into nursing home. Pleasure to ask. I don't have to take down drink another six pack.

Perfect.

This is the opportunity here for somebody who makes some money.

Oh continue, Well, uh, there is a funeral home in the southwestern province of China that has been serving just the bomb noodles. Apparently word spread about the noodles, and a bunch of people have been lining up outside this funeral home specifically to go to the canteen, the cafeteria, because they said the food is that good.

So what do you mean in terms of making money just opening it up for people that are not interested in funeral business.

Hey, just make it sound like you're opening up another funeral home, but only make it the cafeteria. That way, you still get to brand it as a funeral home. It sort of takes on sort of that sort I don't know, pop culture sort of a just talk about think about the buzz of eating at a place called the funeral home.

Well, this is exactly like the oddjextaposition of excellent food in the strip clubs. That's how we discovered Magic City. It was because of the wings, not the breasts. And now here we have excellent Chinese noodles at the funeral home. I mean, I love it when you're surprised by great food in an odd place.

And would you pose as somebody mourning the loss of a loved one just to get those noodles?

I've done far worse. Yes, Peers number five rules, we begin bombing in five minutes. Five little geese. This is the year five point five five. Give me a favorite. Loose five pounds immediately.

Stephen Caspar is about to become a hero. This guy in Lenexa, Kansas has been feeding and training wild raccoons that wander into his property, and he said during a legislative hearing in Topeka, it is the highlight of my life. These are the things that you do when you become an empty nester. You start playing with raccoons in the backyard. And he wants to change Kansas law so that raccoons can be kept as pets.

You're an empty nester, now, yes, have you started playing with the raccoons.

In the yard.

If I saw a raccoon in my yard, I would be terrified. That would be a sign of the Second Coming.

Really, I see raccoons in my yard all the time. No, I don't get very many in mine. They like to play on the roof. They like to poop on the roof.

How would a raccoon deal with snakes? I see more snakes in the yard than you thinkcoons.

Raccoons are very angry. I don't know if they eat snakes, but they're very mean animals. I wouldn't be surprised he was able to make such good friends with them. Here's number four or minute.

It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by.

Now comandment number four. This isn't the same world as you left four years ago. Oh my god, Jay, what is it? It's a baby whale.

A Russian fisherman photographs sea monsters that he has accidentally grabbed while fishing. And they said that this latest post it looks like the head of an n alien.

It's awful. It is the most awful thing I've ever looked at. He did.

He identified the blob as a smooth lumpsucker. A series of marine ray finned fish that grows to over a foot long and resides in the bottoms of the oceans.

How about some news we can use how to smuggle cocaine under a wig?

Number three. Three shall be the number that count, and the number of the counting shall be three fighters dead within three hours. Three security clearance level three, all three of them three. I got all three of you guys, for the rest of your nas born live. After that three days, they both start to stink.

Three.

What are those little cheese cheeses that come in the plastic and you can rip it off and it's like a little snack sized cheese.

Baby bells zoa baby bells. My mother loves those. I've had like nineteen this week.

So picture uh, speaking of nineteen, picture nineteen baby bell packets under a wig but on top of your head. Guy from Columbia was discovered trying to board a plane to Amsterdam when he had this twenty or nineteen capsules of cocaine about the size of baby bell packs underneath his wig that they then cut off of his head.

You know what may be telling It may be something that shows either maturity or age or both that I'd rather have the cheese than the cocaine.

I remember, for your cardiac health, it's probably a better idea. I don't know about that. Number two, what's going on YouTube? Pick out two two.

People. There's two sons and no women who ringing ginging?

Do you ever.

You ever used a gold toilet or gold plated toilet or gold colored toilet?

I don't think so. I feel like i'd remember that, but I also don't think it would. It would be something that.

I would remember. You's not really that much into toilets. You would remember that though. Get in and get out.

There was an eighteen carrot gold fully functional toilet, part of an exhibition by an Italian artist, that was stolen from a home in Oxford Shure in the Great Britain in the early hours of September twenty nineteen, two days after it went on display. Was an art installation, but a fully functioning toilet. The artwork was named.

America Golden Toilet, No America. Here's the number one, number one?

Number one? Were number one?

Ben?

I decided to look out for number one?

Are you the number one? Row?

Number one? Number one?

I don't like to end the week with a broken testicle, so I'll let you handle it.

Thanks.

The German soccer match had to be canceled just before kickoff when a referee suffered an unexpected injury. One of the players had a kid that was watching the game and they were doing ID checks on the players make sure everybody's on the right team. When a kid starts running around on the field, well, the referee in this case, a guy named Stefan Khller, went to go shuttle the kid off the pitch and the kid chomped down on his left test all