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Number two was feeling pursued, which got me thinking like, yeah, that is, you know, I don't really often do that these days, you know, with the kids and stuff, but it is something to kind of think about. And do you ever like pursue your husband? No, but I think just like what we want, like you look good in that outfit or you look pretty or it's going to date night and different things like that. They also probably want that as well, right? Welcome back to Keep It Good.
I'm your host, Emily. And I'm your host, Carly. So Father's Day was just this past Sunday, and we thought, you know, with all the big hype about Mother's Day and the episode about mothers, we thought we need to give a little shout out. So this episode is all about husbands and relationships. Can't wait. Because we love them, right? Yes. I mean, we said previous episodes that mom is the CEO, usually. Not always. But that's usually the case. That's true. I mean, there are some
guys who step up and do that role. For the most part, yeah, mom's CEO. But like any working team, everybody needs a balance in life. And there's certain jobs that moms just can't do, you know? And fathers really step up to the plate these days. And we wanted to highlight what they contribute. in the household that often goes unseen as well. Yes. I mean, I do not want to be getting rid of the dead mice and the traps. Yeah. Or like the gutters, cleaning the gutters. Yeah. I feel
like they have all the dirty work. They are the plumbers, the pest control, the heavy lifters, the garbage men, the handyman. They offer a sense of security, I think, that just makes everyone in the house feel safe, you know? 100%. I don't worry or think about any of that. That's like on his plate, right? Yeah. I'm doing a lot more of that cruise director type stuff, and there's not even a conversation. He plays his role and I play mine, and that's kind of how it works,
you know? I don't touch anything dirty, basically. Yeah. We love them for that. I mean, that makes our life a hell of a lot easier. So if you don't feel appreciated, guys, we love you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. I mean, my husband's great. If anything goes wrong in the house, like plumbing, electricity, anything that is outside my scope of practice, like he figures it out. He handles
it. He makes our house our home, you know? and keeps it safe and I mean thinking about you know all the things that mom carries and and has in her mind I can't imagine what it's like to be a guy because I feel like they hold a whole different sense of responsibility for the family yes a lot of times they are the providers or Not always but you know, they just have that protective character or that role that they kind of are meant to step into or Expected to step into and
I think that puts a lot of pressure on somebody, you know you're overnight you have this whole family to kind of protect and It oftentimes just goes unnoticed. Like I said, yeah, absolutely. I totally agree with you and I think when that baby does come, because even like when you do have a baby and you're pregnant and they know they're becoming a father and they're excited and all of that, but they don't get to feel the feels that you do through those basically 10
months, you know? And so it maybe isn't real until that happens. And I think that for a lot of them, there is a switch of like, okay. Now I got the real family unit and I got to protect. You know, we always talk about mama bear, but there's definitely a papa bear thing too. And yeah, they do a lot of the things that, I mean, I don't even know maybe all the things he does
because he just does it. And just like us, I know we like to think that everybody's 50 50 and how, you know, we run our relationship and our households, but things are kind of split. Like, mom does this, dad does that, you know? Yeah, I know we kind of stepped into that role, not even realizing it, but Like Jacqueline said in the Struggles of Motherhood episode, the evolution of fathers really has come a long way. There's so many dads who do dive in and do diapers or
do the overnight bottle feeds. My husband was fantastic through all of that. I could not have asked for a better partner in such a chaotic part of my life. Absolutely same. Well, and I think, too, to have that good partner who knows, like, okay, it is definitely my turn to step in because, you know, without even having to be asked, right, especially in those baby months, but that's what's making him a dad and getting
to enjoy a Father's Day himself. I know. I hope they all had a really good Father's Day because you do, you all mean so much to us. We could not make our lives and the kids' lives. The way
that they are without you. It's a family unit and you are an equal part of that that unit So we did a fun little poll with our friends and families and co -workers Just a random little bunch of guys and we asked them ways that make them feel appreciated I'm I mean everyone can kind of guess what number one was right That goes unspoken but moving on down the list uh here are a few things that they they had mentioned so yeah number two was feeling pursued which
got me thinking like yeah that is you know i don't really uh often do that these days you know with the kids and stuff but it is something to kind of think about and do you ever like pursue your husband No, but I think just like what we want like, oh, you look good in that outfit or you look pretty or, you know, it's going to date night and different things like that. They also
probably want that as well, right? They want to know that you're still attracted to them and that sort of thing where it's kind of an unsaid. I think most people just are married to you. So I love you and you should know that, you know, but we all like to feel like, oh, yeah, I'm noticed again. Yep. So, I mean, I got to step up my game.
Yes, I mean, I don't we all but yeah So that was that was an interesting point of view from a guy's perspective is feeling pursued And I think a lot of women kind of let that slide because that he pursued Yeah, we don't want to do the chasing Number three was just kind of helping out with certain things like yard work or You know any kind of task that's a lot for like the house You know just helping out right like weeding or yeah something that tends to sometimes fall
on them or Yeah, and I totally get that. I mean who doesn't want to feel Helped, you know, right? And that goes hand -in -hand with kind of number four acknowledgement so like You know, wow, you did a really great job with that. I love how you thought of this or You know great idea. I loved how this came out This was I would have never thought of it and you know kind of a Bravo
to you type of yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely and then number five like along with kind of helping out outside sort of Say they're you know outside working on Some kind of a project just thinking oh, you know what he could use a coffee or a little snack Just being thoughtful and bringing him out something without him asking or maybe something that you think he could use in the time Do you ever do that Emily? I mean, I don't
know I don't know if I do. I like to think I take care of him pretty good, but Well, the next time he's outside doing yard work get him a freaking snack. I'll get a fresh lemonade, freshly squeezed. Yeah. Bring the boy a snack. It's so funny though, because these things are like things that women want too, right? So it's just, it's what you want. Assume your partner also wants that. Yeah. It's a good lesson, right? Treat others the way
you want to be treated. Yes. Yes. And then the last two is show interest, encouragement, and compliments. compliment that boy, he wants it. Gotta feed the ego a little bit. Yeah, yeah, water it, feed it, and then back off a little bit so that it keeps him guessing. Yeah, I love it. It keeps it interesting still. It's like you always have to be dating, right? Like you gotta keep, it can't, things can get stagnant and that's life, like we're busy, but I think
you have to keep it fun and exciting. Like my husband is so good with spontaneity and surprising me with different things and I have just become I think is he's so good I've just become like a bad gift giver and you know I when we did that Mother's Day one I'm like I had to step up my game I gotta you know like I don't know I know.
Like as much as we're offering different ideas for people, listening back, it's like, oh wow, like I kind of have to, you know, it makes you second guess it, even though we're making these episodes. Yeah. We have to practice what we preach. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of them are like, you know, oh my God, I can't even believe I said that. Where did that come from? But that's great advice and I need to do it. Yeah. Like, do you flirt?
Do you flirt with your husband still? Yes. I would like to think that there's definitely some flirting going on when there's time You know we with our jobs we kind of won for many years gotten better, but we passed in the night It was literally that the ships passing in the night and so you got to try to do that when when you can and Don't be lazy about it. Yeah well like Me and my husband flirt all the time. I love that about us, you know constantly every day
It's just it's just fun. It keeps it, you know electric and no that's but that's like that spark is still always alive and Like I said, some people don't have the time together. But like even if you're not right, it's through text or A phone call or a funny little emoji it can be even just something simple like that doesn't have to be Yeah, right. A face to face. It's funny because when we were in high school, we would pass each other notes and like little things here and there.
And now that technology is involved, like the texts are our new love notes that we passed. So, you know, like... So cute. I want to save it. Yeah. You know, like you have to keep it fun. You have to keep it fresh. Yes, we've been together for 20 plus years, but he still gives me the butterflies. He still gives me, you know... Right. It's exciting for a date night and yeah,
yeah So definitely prioritize date night. I mean get even if you can't get a babysitter one of our favorite things is You know, we put in a lot of hard work in our house. We've been here for like 11 years now We just kind of walk around once the kids go to bed. We get like a glass of wine or coffee It's like a Tuesday night.
You make it work and you walk around the yard and we just kind of like Look at where we've been and where we are now, you know and kind of give recognition about this project or that part of the garden or this and oh What are we gonna do with this area for the future? And it it just kind of it's my favorite date night with him because it's like you just appreciate each other You appreciate where you've been where you're going Where you are now? Yeah, the life
you've built. Yeah. You know, to think back like, oh my gosh, remember when it was this and now look what we've done. And yeah, it's such a nice, nice thing. Yeah, it's like walking down memory lane. Yeah. That's my favorite. And it doesn't cost us anything. I mean, we're enjoying the fruits of our labor. It's just, it's one of my favorites. So if you can't, you don't have the extra money to go out for dinner or You don't have the time to get a sitter or any of that.
You can make anything into a date night. It's just about spending that quality time together and really just seeing each other for who they are and, you know, set time together. That's really all you need. Right. It's like it's one of those love language, right? We look into like really kind of understanding your love language and what your partner's love language is. and recognizing how to kind of show the love that they're going to reciprocate or accept, you know?
Right. So there's five different types of love languages. I want to know which one you are after we're done. Okay. First one, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and then receiving gifts. So... I mean, I would sign up for all five. Yes, I think so too. I'm like a little bit of each one. I can't say that I'm definitely just one of those. I mean, quality time is probably at the top of my list because like I've shared my husband's job and we don't
always get time together. So whatever we can get, even if it's an hour, once the kids are asleep, like you said, the date night thing, like just at home, that's so important to me. And I know that it's important to my husband
too. let's have some time sometimes it is just us talking sometimes it's us watching a show or having a glass of wine together or something like that but i think that's probably my top one but yeah so you like all five as well i want all the love languages i want yeah i'm very fluent in all the love languages uh no i would say yeah same quality time just having that minute you know also words of affirmation I think because I love to hear like encouragement or you know
like I love you it's something so simple those three little words but they mean a lot in a relationship it's comforting it's you know words are a big deal and I think my husband definitely knows that yeah about me by now yeah and I know him His is definitely physical clutch I was gonna say I think Matt's is I don't know if I had to guess I would say his is probably quality time too, but I mean lucky they're all They're all good, of course, but yeah, what what would be
your favorite date? I know your favorite date night with the kids, but like what would you want to do if you had a date night? Oh Kids are with a sitter. I like experiences. Yeah, right I love experiences. So, um, we sometimes, you know, we'll do like a mid day where like if the kids are at school and he has the day off, we'll go for a hike or one time the four of us went for, you know, the cooking class. Like, I just
love doing things that are different. I don't really want to go and sit across from him and have dinner and talk about the kids. Yeah. Well, it's a memory and that's kind of fun too. It's like, Yeah, I don't know and you could play off of each other's hobbies like maybe you could rotate like oh my god I've always wanted to try this and even though that might not be your favorite thing because it's his or something He wants
to do you should want to do it, too. Yeah, definitely Yeah, whatever makes them happy and like glow from the inside for sure. Absolutely. I know he would You know, I'd have to drag him to a sip and paint But at the end of the day, he would do it because he wants to make me happy and he would drag me to a shooting range or something very manly. And I would just kind of suck it up and do it because he thought of it, he wanted to do it. And yeah, I'll encourage whatever makes
that man smile, I'm up for. Have you ever seen those cards? It's like game. like, date cards. I don't know exactly what they are. I don't know if it's specifically a game or, like, you just pick from this deck of cards and it gives you ideas to do for a date night, something spontaneous. You have to, like, do whatever's on the card. Oh, I would love that. That sounds really cool. Yeah. I think they're fun. I haven't really looked into them, but just something kind of different
where you're not like, oh, okay. I think, too, we always do things... I mean, as you know, because you're our friend, but we do things a lot as groups. And that's so fun, too, as a group with everybody so everyone can get together. And it's so wonderful. But sometimes I think it does need to be just the two of you. Yeah. You got to bring it back to like where it started. Yeah. What was your first date or the first time that you
like knew he was the one, you know? Oh, well, I feel like I knew he was the one before he was my man. So that goes back like a couple years before we actually started dating. It was just not kind of working. I just always had this connection to him for like a few years before we actually started dating. So I feel like I knew for a while. And then it was great because once we were dating, it was like, this is it. You know, this is it.
First date, we went out to dinner. It was like actually just him and I. because in the beginning I feel like it was still a lot of group stuff and yeah it's hard to explain our situation at the time but yeah no I get it. What about you?
Well ours was different because we were in high school you know so but I remember first seeing him when I was in sixth grade we got our yearbooks I was sitting in the gym going through the yearbook and then all of a sudden I saw this little Tiny, you know those like collage pages with like just random pictures of everybody from this from the class Yeah, I saw this Like little tiny picture of him and my heart stopped and I was like who
is that? Oh my god, like I had this weird Connection right off the bat as soon as I saw this kid and you know, he was two years older than me So that was it that was like the last day school and I didn't see him again until I was in ninth grade And then I saw him in the hall and my heart literally, it was crazy. And then he would like flirt because he thought I looked like Neve Campbell. So he'd be like, hey, Neve. As I walked down the, and I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe he's talking.
No, freaking out. And then our first date, I knew he was the one that day because I mean, I come up with some wild ideas, right? And so he's like, what do you want to do? And we picked wild flowers and we went to this old Civil War cemetery and we read everybody's name and put a flower down and just honored them. Why? I don't know. We were just living life in the moment. And he was game. He was literally game for anything. And I was like, wow, this guy's cool. Typical
guys wouldn't do this. But yeah, it was a very out of the box first date. And he's been game for all my wild ideas ever since. That's one of the things I love about him. I could literally tell him like, oh, so I read this will bring us good luck if we bury a doll's arm under the third bush in our front yard. And he'd be like, well, how far do I have to dig the hole? He is so like that. That's so funny. My husband would be like, absolutely not. What are you talking
about? Yeah, he's just, he goes along with my wild ideas. I love it. I love it. And you, you know, you just got to find that person that kind of just like the yin and yang, you know, he is the yin and yang. No, I love that. And to the yin and yang, I thought this was kind of cool because we like, you say that about things, right? Like, oh, you're the yin to my yang or, you know, with your friends or whatever. But I looked into it and the yin. and the yang have different personality
qualities. So yin people are emotional, empathetic, calm, nurturing, intuitive. So that's like one side of it. Yang people are protective, decisive, energetic, strong, logical. So like They're two totally different people. And Steve is Yang. I mean, yeah. And it's just kind of funny because don't get me wrong, moms or women or whatever could be Yang for sure. But I think most people would feel like, like us moms, we're the in and dad is Yang. Oh, happy Yang day, guys. It's so
cute. That was so cute. I mean, I remember drawing. Like that like, you know, yeah, I just it's so funny. I don't even know what I means I never knew what it means until today. That's really cool to think about Yeah, so I just thought it was like puzzle piece, you know, you're supporting each other Yeah, like you're lifting each other up and I think that that's huge in a relationship What you lack hopefully your partner is giving you. Yeah. Yeah, exactly Like you're just constantly
supporting. Yeah, I am 100 % Ian Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, all the way. But that is really cool. I mean, you have to, what you lack, your partner has, you know, and vice versa. Like, and that's what just makes, makes it fit perfect. And it's just like a strong connection, you know? Yeah, it is. What about, like, do you remember when you first saw your husband hold a baby? Not even your own baby, just like any baby. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I think the first time I really at least noticed it was with one of our best friends I had twins and He was sitting this chair and he had both the babies in his arm and I was like, oh my god, it was just a softness to him and it was it was incredible and You know come to find out we were, you know pregnant probably the next month with our first but it was just it was really cool to see I know, it just makes
you freaking fall apart. There's just something about, especially your own kid, when you see that, you're just like, whoa. I was coming out of surgery, so I was really a little messed up. My eyes were swollen shut. You were swollen. You definitely were a little puffy. I didn't see it for a couple of weeks afterwards, but when I came to and I looked up. But it is. It is something to behold. Yeah. It is special.
It's just like, oh my god. I didn't think you could be any more handsome or cute or irresistible, but it's just like something with a man holding a baby. You're like, my God, I love you. I love you. I know. It's so great. I hope that they know how much we appreciate them. And just like for the moms, just feel the love all year round and know that we're grateful for all that they do, too. Yeah. They're incredible. We couldn't do anything without them. I couldn't. I sure
as hell couldn't. I mean, I feel like me and Steve have been together for past lives. Do you believe in past lives? I sure do. And I 1 ,000 % agree with you. You two are like, yeah, you've done this before. This is like old news. Yeah. I feel like, I don't know. Believe in past lives and I feel like I've been with this guy for hundreds of years, you know It's just old souls. I think too Yeah Yeah, I just love it. I love I can't think you were people or do you think you were
like cats? Oh Interesting Okay, next person on here we need someone who can do a regression of some sort. Yeah, past life regression. Anybody out there want to come and talk with us, that would be a really cool episode. I'd love to find out my past lives. I've been told that I was like an herbalist, an alchemist. Yeah, I can see that. I think I got my something read in P -Town. And yeah, I had like my own apothecary, which I was like, oh my god, yeah, that makes
so much sense. That's my dream. Yeah, like how can, can I like, I don't know, tap into that old hidden knowledge that I had before and like make this happen in this life too. Yeah. But yeah, I would love to know all about the past lives. Do you think you were with Matt in past lives? Or you think this is like fresh? I've never thought about it. I don't, I don't know. I don't know. I definitely think I've lived another life. Well, we know that we were together in
past lives. Right. We did just find that out. We just found that out. That I now believe, since we were told. I agree with that. I would say no. I would say no, but not in a bad way. I feel like we have so much newness. You like to play the field. My old souls. I might have been a cat. That's funny. You're probably like... Well, we know you don't like to fly. I don't. Maybe you were a bird and that's why you died and that's why you don't like to fly. That would make so
much sense. Yeah, mystery solved. Done. All right, cool. I mean, I don't really know what else to add after that. I mean, Nancy Drew figured it out. We don't need anyone to come on anymore. Never mind. No, I still want somebody to come and talk to us. Yeah, so I mean, bottom line, guys are awesome. We love them. We hope you all had a really amazing Father's Day. Nourish your relationship. Yeah, keep it fresh, keep it light, keep it fun, flirt, date. You need to date, for
sure. Date your husband. And persuade him, or not pursue him. Not persuade him. You can persuade him too, if you want. You could persuade him to like... Finish that project and then you'll pursue him Maybe yeah goes at the end. Yeah, no, but I have a fun little quote that kind of corresponds with just You know who you pick as a partner in life, right? So it's a it says life
hack by Justin Welsh. I don't I found it on on his page, but It says, marry someone that if you had no friends at all, you'd gladly spend every waking moment with. And yeah, I found that one. I will spend every lifetime with him, and I will try and learn his love language a little bit more. Hoping he switches his love language. Yeah, can we make quality time or words of affirmation? I'm really good at that one. Yeah, same. Yeah,
no, that's perfect. Love the one you're with Yeah, and if and if it's not driving then kind of re -examine that you want to be with your best friend You want them to talk good about you behind your back, you know, you should be your ultimate hype man. Yeah, you're hype man. Exactly Always well, I think that's all for today, right? Yeah, I think so All right. Well, we hope you have a really great week and as always, keep it good.