Teaching Kids Good Mourning w/ Theresa Caputo

we are talking about death. We're talking about losing ones we love. We are talking about how the heck do we talk about that with our kids. At the time of this recording, we lost our Gigi Ma Faye Aaronson, who was nine seven when she passed away, and uh, there's a lot of questions from my three and a half year old about that. And now I can say, at the time of recording this intro, we just lost

our dog, Roger, who is eleven. And both instances are my son's first experience with death and he's got a lot of questions about it, and so who better to have on than the Long Island Medium herself, Teresa Caputo. She is a medium. She's a psychic medium. You guys know her from her TLC reality TV series The Long Island Medium, which I've been on. She's been a practicing medium for more than ten years and she's certified with

the Forever Family Foundation. She's a New York Times bestselling author. She's published books like There's More to Life Than This and you Can't Make This Stuff Up. She has helped countless people find closure to embrace life without their loved ones. And you can check out her most recent book called Good Morning, Moving through everyday Losses with Wisdom from the Other Side now wherever books are sold. She has her

own like personal guidance to help us. Because she's a mom of two grown children, Victoria and Larry, and you guys, she's going to be a grandmother. She's like the hottest grandmother in the world. Her daughter, Victoria is expecting her first child with her husband Michael, sometime in February. Welcome to Katie's Crib, Teresa, and congrats. I'm so happy to see you again. You have touched me in my family's life.

The first time we met and you did a reading and we spoke to my grandmother Edna, who had passed on, and my grandpa Charlie, who had passed on. You're so sweet. I love you so much. I can't believe it's been the last time I saw you was when you were on Broadway. Yeah, you came and you saw us on waitress. Yes, before that was the reading and oh no. Then we hung out in l A one time. We went to until Morman. We did. I've never been so fancy before. By the way, Well you're very fancy. Are you coming

to me from a closet as well? I am, Holy it, Teresa, your closet is stunning. I mean, guys, you could see what I'm seeing. It's just like it's so organized. But it's also I mean, because you love clothes, you love shoes, you love the whole thing. So you've really I mean, it's a huge part of your person, like your identity is, like you love it. It's an expression of yourself. Well, your closet does not disappoint. My mom always says, She says, I don't know where you came from. You were born

with a label on your forehead. She's like, and nobody in my family is like that. I've always been like that, right, Well, you just are who you are. I mean, I mean, we're going to talk about all of this, but like I think, babies, Oh, I'm so curious. So I just thought of another good question to talk to ask a medium. Let's first get to a little bit of the okay, not medium stuff, just like, did you always know you wanted to be a mom? Oh? Yeah, you were always

going to be a mom. Yeah. From the time I was little, I was always like, I'm gonna get married young, I'm going to have children at a young age. And what I realized, honestly is I would not have been able to do what I do if I had children later in life. I wouldn't be able to travel and and just dedicate who I am to my work. Right. You wouldn't write to leave them right right, you Right? It would have been much harder for you. Like you're always on the road and you're always doing shows and

all of these things. That makes sense, Okay, So you did it. You got married young, right, Yeah, you had your babies really young. I had my babies really young. I had my son at twenty three, and Victoria, I was twenty seven. My son Larry, he was so he was such an easy baby. Victoria, she's very different. Larry came in in the world, very laid back, like he didn't want to leave the womb. I don't think he still wants to leave his mama, but very laid back Victoria.

I mean, I didn't even make it into the operating room. She was born right in the labor bed. Came in like a tornado. And that is Victoria is how does it feel having two adult children because we don't get a lot. It's this is so great to have you on, but we don't get like I feel like you're done. Do you feel like you're done or you feel like you're never done. I don't think we're ever done period. Amen, your mother. Once you're a mother, I would say, a

woman never done. Yeah, We're never done, and you're always going to be a mom. I mean, my kids still come to me with things. Right when that phone rings, it's like, oh God, why why, I'm like, what's the matter. And my son will literally say to me, Mom, I'm just calling because I'm checking. I'm like, Okay, I didn't know something, I didn't do that. I'm I'm like that with my own mother. Now it's like the rules of

her verse. She used to do that to me, where she'd be like, I haven't heard from you in twenty four hours. If you don't call me back, I'm calling the police. I'm going to think something's wrong. Blah blah blah blah blah. Now when I don't hear from her in twenty four hours, I'm like, Mom, your daughter got married, So you might be like, we're not going to say the word and you're not going to go buy grandma? Are you? Like? What would be the word for you?

We were just talking about that. I'm like, should I go by glamy or yes? Done? Sign seal delivered glamy? It is, It's perfect. It's absolutely pergrive because you're way too cool and hot and interesting like Grandma. I love Grandma. Don't get me wrong for people who have grandma's grandma's I honestly, it really doesn't matter to me. I you know, I have to share this though my girlfriend, and she she's also one of she's my right hand man. She says to me, she goes, well, my, I think I'm

gonna be called Alex's mom or Morgan's mom. I go, you cannot do that. That is your grandchild, Yeah, you can't you And also I got news for you. I think a lot of times the kids sort of decides I was just going to say that, Yeah, my mom is amah and that was Now it's stuck, and that's what I would be picked my son and that's just what she is from now on. Okay, no, wait, wait, you realized you had a gift to speak to souls and people who have passed on. At what age? When

did you first realize? I was four, Well, I didn't know. I just thought it was normal. But I can remember when I look back at the age of four, um being in the house that we lived in and seeing a woman standing at the end of my bed. And I didn't find out for decades later that it was my great grandmother that had passed right before I was born. And UM always sensing and feeling things that nobody else did. Wow.

But that's the thing. We think everyone experiences what we do, right, or everyone feels the same, and it just isn't so no matter what it is in life. So I just thought it was normal that everyone heard someone speak to them in a room and there was no one else in the room but themselves, you know, and so did you once you realized what your gift was? Did that change for you at all? Being a mother? I feel like it makes people really get involved, like cyclically with

the life and death of it all. I mean, so the fact that you're so in touch with people who are no longer here, did that make you want to have kids even more or less? Well? I didn't know until after I had Victoria, So I suffered from anxiety. So so from me. A lot of my anxiety came from because I'm empathic and I was picking up other

people's emotions. And it wasn't until I was like twenty eight that I discovered Victoria was already a year old, my son was five, and that I had the ability not only to connect with my own departed loved ones, but everyone else's. Then I struggled with it for five years. I could not imagine why in the world would I be blessed with this gift, and I really really struggled with it. It wasn't until nine eleven. After nine eleven happened when I decided to do what I do for

a living. Wow, amazing, and my husband's grandmother just passed away on because look at what I just wrote. What I wrote before we sat down. I wrote this on my pet Grandma, of course, because you're amazing. But is she a name? She she tells me she has a namesake. So a namesake for me would be form of a name or a middle name. Oh, she's a pip like she is this little like this little bowl of energy. And she's like, I don't want to disturb you and

your conversation, but like she doesn't stop. She's like dancing and singing and I would never know. She's like, how old do I look? You think I'm like sixty? Right? She looks amazing, So yes, correct, of course you're nailing it. Even through the Zoom I learned through the pandemic that zoom was the new phone reading for me. How powerful and to even feel through doing it through zoom to be able to connect people with their loved ones that have died and people that passed during cold So okay,

you're reading me right now. So Grandma Fay passed on Monday. No shut up. My daughter is Vera Faye, and Grandma Faye passed away. She was seven and she was at her house in her bed and you know, I think about my God, Yes, if this had been seven months ago, and let's say she was in the hospital for whatever reason,

we wouldn't have been able to be there. There's a bunch of people in Miami celebrating her life right now, gathering because thank god they're vaccinated and can and you know, so so it's as much as it's so sad, it's also I'm relieved. I'm just gonna explain to how she made me feel. It's almost like she's like, literally she stood next to me and whispered in my ears. She goes, can you believe I died? I'm like no, But it's almost like she's like, I thought I really was going

to live forever. We all did. I mean, she's nine, and she was never um, she never was really sick sick. They feel like she never skipped a beat. She she just was always going, going, going, And then I was like one day I had a cold and I didn't feel good. She goes in. The next thing I know, my husband's calling me from the other side and telling me to come home. Wow, great, you're nailing it. As here all singing, and there's just such a celebration on

the other side. But more importantly, I hear singing here, so I don't know, but I can feel everyone gathered around my bed, so whether if everyone was there, like I can feel people hold my hand telling me that it's okay to go. But I hear singing and laughter, she says, and then they were crying. She says. That kind of made me mad because I don't want anyone to cry. Not really mad, but that just showing her personality of oh, yeah, she's tough, was a tough cookie.

Don't you cry? Yeah, like very but also I think that you're nailing it. As per usual, she was surrounded not when she actually passed, but her daughter was there an hour before she passed away. But what's so amazing is that her room. Adam was just face timing me from her bedroom which is where she passed, and there was just pictures of all of us around her, like her brother, her father, her two husbands that she outlived

both of them. She had two beautiful loves of her life, also her all of her grandchildren, all of her great grandchildren, her daughters. There were pictures of everybody around her, and Adam just took me through over FaceTime. He was just like, look at this. We were all with her, you know, like we were all the pictures around her. She she was the matriarch, you know, she was the matriarch of a loving, big family where everybody it was just a

beautiful thing. But that but that's what spirit does. They make me feel how they feel. So I love how she made me feel like everyone was there and I can feel the feelful love. So how did you tell your kids, because here's my question. My son is going to be like, my son keeps being like, why is daddy in Miami? And Adam keeps saying, wait for me to come home, and we're going to tell him that

Gigim died. And the school, his nursery school has been very clear to say you use the word dead, not sick, because you don't want him to associate like when I get a cold, it's a saying. And then we're supposed to say she was very very very very old. What did you do with your kids and what advice could you give parents listening? Well, first I have to say, my poor kids went to school. And you know when everyone's asking what do your parents do for a living,

everyone's like, oh, my mom's a nurse. My dad's a police officer. There are my kids. My dad's an Italian importer, and my mom speaks to dead people. So I'm dead. I can't love it. Don't make things complicated. Less is more. It's almost like she went to heaven. She's gonna she went to live in heaven, and when we go to

heaven one day, we'll we'll see her again. And then maybe you can look for signs or symbols are and then explain to him that there might be things that remind you of her, or you might think that you still see her at times, because young children are very sensitive to spirit. That's the other thing I was going to ask you about. Is that true that you think you're gonna see that with him? You're going to see

that with him. You might even see you with your daughter if she starts looking over your shoulder like you could be talking to her, and then all of a sudden, like Adam, she's not even paying attention to me. She's looking in the corner, because she might be looking at a soul and loved ones that have gone before us.

Then the reason for that is because their minds aren't bogged down with burdens and buzziness of a day, responsive abilities, nothing, It's so present moment that they're like open a window enough to like see. I think as children and even some adults were afraid of death. We're afraid to die right because it's the unknown. We don't know what is. It's so scary. And I think what I do and how I work it really validates that the souls are

at peace. They're not afraid, they're not scared, they're not suffering that from the moment the soul leaves the physical body. And what I love is how Adam's grandmother validated her personality. How would I know her personality? She made me feel that, And that's the that's the amazing thing about what I do. And I think that I also refer to it um as heaven um. I sometimes refer to it at home m hm. Our souls are here just having a physical experience.

And when people are like, what is it like? And I'm like, imagine your physical body is like a piece of dry ice, and you know how you see the vapor like and then it just kind it disappears and it's still there but we can't see it. That's like what our soul is like I was still there, but we can't see it. We can maybe feel it, we can maybe smell it, but we can't maybe necessarily touch it.

But it doesn't mean that they're not with us. God, I still need to hear this about because my God, I have such death anxiety and I don't want that for my children. You know. I just feel like I'm so afraid of it, And I wonder, did you do you think, because of what you do and because it's such an part of your life, do you think your kids have a good relationship with death? Absolutely? Really, I don't want to die, right, But let's face it, We're all going to die, right, It's the circle of life.

I don't sound cliche, but it's true. I don't want to die, but I know when it is my time that I know I'm going to be at peace. I'm going to be safe, and I'm going to be greeted by other loved ones that have gone before me. Everything else, I'll find it when I get there, right. But But I mean that was I mean, honestly, I think we all at some point we have a fear of death because we don't know what it's like. But I've learned

to um and listen. I do struggle with it still at times, but majority of the time I'm able to focus on faith not fear. So I try to say, just focus on the positive and release anything negative or that doesn't serve you any purpose. Let go of. Just because we let go of like pain, sorrow and negative emotions doesn't mean that we don't care. It just means that we're letting go of things that that don't serve as a purpose or aren't good for us. I love that.

I always think it, and this is my like, woo woo. I don't know if it's true. When a baby or a soul comes into a person to be born, Are they like passing a hallway of somebody leaving? Is that like like I literally picture it. I'm like, are they coming and going? Is like that sort of the vibe it can be. But from what spirit has shown me, this like a soul circle. Okay, we do re enter and I've done something called a past life regression. There's the one example that I always used to show people

what I mean by a soul circle. It was this one life I was a young man. There was a fire and I'm searching for someone and looking for someone. And when I finally found this young boy, the woman conducting it first she asked me who I found and said, oh, I found my brother, and I was a man in a previous life. And she says, look in his eyes, and who do you see? And I saw my nephew, my brother's son, So in a previous life, I was

his older brother. I am so with you on this stuff, truly, because I I know, like they say, souls travel together, and I just feel like, like I've known my kids before are in different relationshipferent way. It's super weird, Like I'm like, why do I know that about her? Like why do I know that? And then I'm like, why is this kid my test? Right now? I'm always like, were you like my dad and we didn't get along?

My son, I'm like, I know exactly what. It's the same thing when people have fears for no reason, right. I've also done that where I've had fears of pouring rain, like I could, I literally could. I would be paralyzed, I could not go out in the pouring rain. And I did a past life regression years later and found out that I did. I had died on a boat in a very bad storm and I had drowned. So there is sometimes because I have a fear of snakes, they most likely in a previous life right incident with

a snake. And and sometimes people even have that feeling and they're like, I feel like something's going to happen. Doesn't mean something is going to happen. You can also mean that in a previous life. This is when something happened in your life, but when you passed at that age in a previous life. Have you ever been given parenting advice in any of your readings? I think you know.

Spirit will make acknowledgements like if um, if something isn't working, or like if there's something wrong like say like allergies or you know, uh, you know things like that they're things that we can prevent or improve. That's when Spirit will intervene and give advice. I really want people to know that there really is an afterlife, and more importantly, that you still have this soul bond and connection with

your departed loved ones. To know that all the little things that go on around you that remind you of them or that you just think of them, to know that they're little hellos from heaven and that you're not crazy. It's not your imagination, it is their soul with you. And if spirit brings up things that we're thinking about doing wanting to do, it's to validate that they're with us at that exact moment, but more importantly, that they support our choices and decisions. M hmm. I had never

felt when I got pregnant with my daughter. I had never felt my great grandma's presence that much. And it's like we conceived her. I hadn't even peed on a stick yet to know I was pregnant, and I was like, oh, my gosh, she's Vera. She's my grand I didn't know if she was my grandma Vera or like, but I've never thought of that as a name. And then I went to a him and I was like, I know it, I know her name, and I said it's Vera and

Adam said, oh my God, that is her name. Everything was on such an inspired path, and I and I just prayed to her so much because I struggled so much. My pregnancy was the entire I got pregnant a week before shutdown, so at the beginning of the pregnancy, it was a lot of fear based I had every fear beyond everybodief. I thought I was gonna die. I thought she was gonna die. No one knew how COVID affected fetuses,

how it affected pregnancy. I was around a lot of people who got COVID at the beginning because it was um, you know, I was on a set with hundreds of people who were sick before shutdown and um, and I was already one week pregnant but didn't know yet, and as and I in my mind like I was like, holy shit, I think I'm pregnant, and holy shit, I'm

really afraid. I prayed a lot during this pregnancy for help and for ancestors and for any guides to help me through my feelings, and Vera just kept popping up. And then I was like, I know that she's fair skinned and like blue wide. My husband and I are brownsk like tan olive and dark eyes. My daughter is just like my Irish great grandma Era. Well, I am going to say that you felt a presence and maybe you might not feel her as much. Is that correct? Yeah,

her soul probably re entered into Vera. You think so, because I just because when I wrote Grandma down the first time, I felt new, like I didn't feel like I had been gone for some time. Oh so Grandma Fae passed on Monday, so that's like a new like she's just left. She just liked the building, just left. At the time of this recording, she's been gone for five days. Less crazy. So let let me let me

ask you. This was there time throughout your pregnancy where you really felt you grab I don't know if it was or you would always just like picture her house dress or something like a particular clothing that she would wear, and I feel like I would smell her. And now all of a sudden, I feel her, but I don't feel her, if that makes sense to you, Yeah, she might be in there. Sometimes I look at Vera and I'm like, are you Vera, Like like I feel like,

can that happen? Absolutely happens. I did a reading years ago. It was long before Long Island Medium. It was a mother and a daughter and the daughter I said to her, I feel like your sister's here, but she's not here. And she's telling me that you used to send her all the time and you don't anymore. And then she's showing me your daughter, and you see your sister and your daughter. And she said, I used to see my sister all the time, and the day my daughter was born,

I stopped seeing my sister. That's like what I had. That's really weird. I asked her to validated, and she showed me that you sensed and felt her so much. And now it's almost like, where is Grandma. That's what I do, That's what I do. That's she's in the best net. She's literally in the crib right now taking a nast well. And I keep looking at her and like, why Adam, And I keep saying, why don't you look anything like us? Why do you look like this? Because

my son is is my spinning image. You know. Our Vera is like this little Irish granny, which don't be surprised. Don't be surprised if she is like a little old lady. Like if you're like, oh my god, she's such an old soul. Well we named for Vera. I'm like, it's yes, she she might she could be. We were you guys just talking about her getting her ears pierced or something, or about not piercing them. Yeah, we were talking about not piercing perfect. I just asked spirit to validate that

we're interpreting everything correctly. And they're like talked her about the non piercing of the ear. First they showed me piercing and the like no, no, no, no, no, that is are you kidding. We just had this conversation where people were like, because I've had a son, I didn't think about these things. And so I've been thinking like, oh, like people do pierce their little girl's ears like early and her next door neighbor is a doctor and in COVID she was piercing baby's ears in front lawn. Oh

my god. And so I was like, oh, we could always bring her over there, and we were been like no, no, no, We're not piercing her until she's like ted. Well, this is an example of what I talked about before. Now this doesn't mean you go up, Adam. I I spoke to Teresa and she said that our our ancestor said, never pierced their ears or get the ears passed. It's

validating that their souls were present for that conversation. And more importantly, I think acknowledging you that your daughter carries your grandmother's soul and you're a part of her soul with her. Yeah, this might be a little bit hard, but I you're tersa capuda, so you can do I think, what do you tell people who want to speak to you about children they've lost or pregnancies they've lost. It's so interesting because I was going to ask you about

a miscarriage to a miscarriage. Of course you know that I did well. And that also went back to on how I started to write fear down in the beginning because there was this fear of you losing the child again and not knowing what to do. A soul is a soul. A bond is a bond. So when I see a blue blanket, it's my similar for a child that did not get the opportunity to walk into the physical world. But the soul is still a soul, and

this still is a connection. So women who feel who who have miscarriages, I mean that is that's a soul. I mean that is a soul that they've connected to that has now left even a termination. You know. Um, I've also learned through what I do, how people don't or they change because of a decision that they that had to be made for whatever reason at that time. Miscarriage,

termination doesn't matter. It was a soul that did not get the opportunity to walk here in the physical world is acknowledging that it has grown on the other side, still loving, guiding and protecting you from the other side. Oh that's so beautiful. Yeah. Yeah, that's really hard. People have to make some hard decisions for multitude of reasons, and it's so hard. Your body like still went through something. It's crazy, you know, And I think, um, you know,

we we we kind of touched on the pandemic. We're talking about a loss as a loss. While I was going through um my separation with Larry, I kept feeling the need and spirit was pushing me to write another book. And I was like, I was like, the timing isn't right. I was like going through through the divorce. And it was about two years before Covid and I started writing this book called Good Morning m O U R N I n J. Such a good title, such a good title. And what this book is about is that we have

losses every day and we don't grieve them. And that's why sometimes when we have big, big things happen in our life and then we hit that low of depression, anxiety, or whatever it may be, because we allow all of these things that we never grieved, maybe a miscarriage, maybe it is a loved one. No matter what anyone went through, even this past year, they were able to connect and identify with things in this book because at the end

of the day, a loss is a loss. Some people come to me because they lost a pet, but that pet maybe they couldn't have children, So there their dog or their cat was like huge family member. I mean, I remember years ago doing a group reading and saying I was, I was. I was like in front of five thousand people. Woman in my front row and I said to her, I said, did you lose your daughter?

And she said no, I never could have children. So I said, well, there's a daughter soul standing next to you, and she's telling me that you have to make choices and decisions to her death, that you wear a braceleted memory of her. And she was like, that's my cat, she said, And I'm wearing wearing the bracelet o and had the cat's poor print on it. But her cat was like her daughter. Wow. And that's how I communicate

with spirit is through feeling and through knowing. Sometimes I've wondered, I don't know this, Like if you miscarry or terminated pregnancy or whatever. Does that soul come back if you have another kid or is it a different soul? It can? It can, it could be, it could be a different soul. Um. Sometimes I'll even have um, so they'll they'll say, oh, I have now a sister, um, and that's the rainbow baby. That means that that and and that soul stays on

the other side. Interesting, so cool. Another crazy thing is what will happen. Sometimes they'll show me two babies, but only one baby here, and then they'll show me a baby on the other side that pass or something. And sometimes they'll say, my soul's purpose for that little bit of time was to give life to my sibling. Oh yeah, my god, that is um. What about people who have lost children like have you? I've seen you do readings like that. That is the fucking worship. Ever, I don't

even know how you do what you do. I don't like to compare losses because who's to say, right, what loss is harder than another. But parents are not supposed to bury their children. And you know, all we want for our children is for them to be the best that they can be successful, right, and just proud of themselves and have confidence and and then you know, unfortunately, there are children that I've channeled at the age of twelve that took their own life because they were bullied.

There are so many heartbreaking stories. But the peace that they're able to give their parents is such an honor and a privilege to do what I do. And it doesn't make it doesn't make it easy for them, because I know the only thing would be to give them their child back. But how amazing is it for them to validate that they're still with them, just in a different way by communicating with that personality, giving having me say things to their parents that make them laugh. We

just did a an episode on on my podcast. That's how I started doing podcasting, was through the pandemic that I realized I could read people over zoom. Lucky for all of us, thank god, there was a woman that I had read and unfortunately she lost. Her name is Danielle, and she lost her daughter and we did it for it turned out to be not knowing at the time that the episode was airing was for Mother's Day and that her daughter passed of a brain tumor, a very

rare form of brain cancer. And it turned out that May was brain cancer p and pediatric you know, awareness month, and we were like, whoa, this is like crazy. We didn't even realize that at the time, and the messages and the healing that was given that day is was just incredible. Still hard, not easy, but I know that for Danielle and her family it will make it a little bit easier in embracing a day and knowing that their daughter is still with them all these years. I'm

doing this right. Spirit never ceases to amaze me on how they're able to give us that gift of healing and peace. It also restores people's faith. I'm also just gonna say this because I'm gonna I've I've just remembered something. What things are not a coincidence because we was supposed to do this podcast like a month ago. I know. See Grandma Fay was supposed to be here. She's like, you bitch is weight You're not doing this podcast? So

that is so true. That's bizarre. Okay, before we wrap up, I want to know do you have anything that left that you want to say. First I'm going to say is that, um, don't ever veer from your gut instinct or your intuition. You are responsible for your own happiness. People, things, experiences, they can make you happy, but you, at the end of the day, are responsible for your own happiness. And

you know your children better than anyone else. I can remember bringing my kids to the doctor and he would say, Okay, well, Teresa, tell me this, and he'd be asking me these questions and I'd be like them, hey, doc, like you know, what are you asking me these for? And he said, Teresa, you know your child better than anyone else. I can just give you a name. It's so true, and I think we're so hard on ourselves and we will do it at times like am I good enough? Am I

doing this right? Nobody talks about, you know, being a new mom, what it's like, you know, um having postponedum or, and what about the next stage menopause. It's the same thing with grieving. And I used to use this example with grieving because people struggle with grieving. Am I doing it right? I should be doing this, I should be feeling this. And I would always say to them, listen, it's like having a baby. No one give you a pamphlet, They give you a case of formula and they say,

good luck, good luck, have a nice life. And you listen to your parents, your grandparents, your friends. But at the end of the day, what do you do? You take what works for you. You You listen. Some things you'll you'll apply, and some things you won't. I can remember I was breastfeeding and then um, it's different when you know, and I went through the whole guilt of stopping because I could only do it for a couple of weeks, and I was like, I can't do this. I have

two children. Yes, I struggled with it because I felt guilty. Well, mom, guilt is a real guilt in general. You gotta throw that out the window right then. The second you feel that guilt, you get that broom and you sweep that right out of your thoughts. And I remember and the doctors saying, put her on this formula, this formula, and I she was on all these crazy formulas, and then I felt guilty, like, oh my god, I shouldn't stop breastfeeding. And then one day I'm like, I'm going to use

this gurb of powder. I was using these all organic diapers and my and my nanny was like, she had really to diprsh My now name is like I sometimes think that we should just use pampers, and I was like, oh, okay, I mean it's just funny, but like it's really there's no right way. But I think trusting your gut is really the most important thing, which God you really I mean being able to speak two souls. You really got

to trust your gut. He's the other thing. Don't feel guilty if things don't work out the first time you try, try again, because he's going to take another dump in his diaper. And then you get if you don't like the pampers, you try something else exactly, you'll have the opportunity and and and you know what, what people have to realize we're all the same. You're it's okay not to be okay. Nothing has to be a big deal,

unless if we make it a big deal. I try to look at things in life of things happen for me, not to me. Try to look at things as like problem solving, like okay, this is horrible, this is you know, but listen. I have my days to where I like totally like freak out over like the littlest thing, and then I'm like all right, wait a minute, and then I'm okay, you had your little mini breakdown. You're you're okay, like, but it's okay. You have to have those moments. Don't

be so hard on yourself. If you look back on things and anyone listening and you say, I don't know if I would do that, I don't know if I would make that decision again, then look at that as a lesson learned, not a mistake, because you learned something, you learned that you'd never do that again, or you grew from that. Yeah, totally. And your kids are awesome, So you did a good job. They really are, Like

you know what I mean. I just pray and hope that, like I can have kids at your kid's age and just look at them and be like, you know that I that I helped support and guide them, but they are who they are and they're just living a life that makes them happy where they are themselves and confident and you know, just all of that stuff. I hope I see And look at you. You did it. I know you said you're not done, but from my perspective, I'm like, holy crap, you have like adult children who

are making adult decisions. They are The other thing, Katie is this is one of the things that I took from COVID on on the lockdown of trying to find the silver lining. Look at this connection. So maybe people that don't live with their families or near their families, so once a month they just get on a zoom call, even if it's for fifteen minutes. COVID is as fucked up as this whole year has been. Like my husband, who used to speak to his parents probably once every

two weeks, he he facetimes his parents every day. Now his kids, his parents see my kids every day on FaceTime. It's it's so important, believable. He's never spoken to his parents this much, is his His grandmother and grandfather rolled their eyes and like, yeah, when he calls his parents and like gets at him again and yeah, they talk

a lot. They talk a lot. And it's really like been such a great thing because again I think that it made him really close to his parents to go through the loss of his grandmother, you know what I mean. He feels so the family feels very bonded, even though they've been apart physically. I'm going to say this and I don't mean to interrupt you, And I think you said nothing because I think we brought up COVID a couple of times, so I'm going to say this for

anyone listening. Realize also that when a soul leaves a physical body, they leave behind every and any disability under ailment. They do not take it with them. So for maybe the folks out there that might have to up laid their loved ones to rest differently because of COVID or not the way that they would have if it wasn't for the lockdown, know that. And I don't mean to sound cold or rude by this. They don't care what we do with their physical body. That's for us. They're

not a part of that. So if somebody is out there struggling with that, don't let that go and replace it with something positive. Knowing and remembering them to really validate that that the souls are at peace. That makes me really happy to hear that she's over there. Um, And I want to you to say answer one thing. Parenthood is. Yeah, it is, but it's also the most

rewarding it is. And if your children are out there saying that they're they're seeing someone in their room or a presence, show them a picture of someone that has died. I guarantee a little be like, oh, yeah, that's the man that's in my room. I know that that's what's happening because my husband, my son was just on face time with Adam and Adam was in the hotel room in Miami, a room he's never seen. And Adam and

my son was like Gigi mas there literally yeah. And it isn't until this moment where I was like, oh my god, do you think he really saw her? I had just sort of let it go that, oh, he knows Adams in Miami, but he was in a room he'd never seen. But that's also a way of embracing you talked to you asked me earlier about death, Like what a way of saying yes, even though she's in heaven, she's still with you, just in a different way. Her

soul is still with you. And know that if you see things that remind you of her, know that that's just her way of saying hello from heaven. So I just heard you connect with hummingbirds. Well, look for the hummingbirds. Yeah, we always look for hummingbirds. They're always at my front of my house. See I don't have them. I live on the East Coast. We don't have hummingbirds. Yeah, I

have hummingbirds like nobody's business. Okay, so that's faye. Wow. Yeah, I'm going to tell Adam like the this is so helpful. Perfect way to end. Teresa Caputo, you are the best um and I see you licking your lips, which is I means souls are here. They are among us, they are with us. If you watch The Long Island Medium, which I've seen quite many episodes, one of the favorite best television shows of all time, Teresa licks her lips when souls are present. Right, I didn't even know I

was licking my lips. She does this like whole lip thing. Thank you for coming up, love you, Love you so much. Fight. Thank you guys so much for listening to Katie's Crib. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and I want to hear from you. What else should we be talking about? What guests should we have on? You can always hit me up at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. Thanks guys. Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda Land

Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shanda Land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You never know. I'm it s quickly be need to ride and got the door