Shay Mitchell: A Year In Quarantine (Pt. 2)

I wanted to know during this time that has been so insane for everybody, and especially for mothers who have newborns, babies, toddler's children, out of school, this whole situation we find ourselves. I was like, I gotta talk to Shane Mitchell. I got to hear about what this past year has been like for her. And so here you have it, the second episode of the two part finale of Katie's Group season three, Shane Mitchell, the one and only. Enjoy it, guys,

Thanks so much for listening. Guys. This is uh like being in a time capsule. Shane Mitchell just exploded her hands off her temples because the last time we saw each other it was literally the day before shutdown, the day before shutdown, and I remember you've been telling like my team, You're like, okay, and I know that there's this thing starting, so if you don't feel say, we have so much hand sanitizer. And I was like we no one knew what it was, what was going on.

We were all like wait, what, Like, I just remember, like so much hand sanitized and I'm still doing that to this day. So it's been a full year of that. It's wild a full year we're coming upon. Since I saw you face to face, you may be the last person I saw unmasked that is outside of my pot or my family. We felt the major impulse to hug, but we were like, let's shake elbows or feet because we don't know what this is. And here we are

one year later. There's toilet paper back on the shelves in the grocery store, though, because the week we left saw each other there was no toilet paper. Everyone was running to this grocery store cleaning out all that stuff. And we were like, let's talk about motherhood. Yeah, Also, you had a five month old Atlas at the time. Oh my gosh, yes, And I didn't know was literally two minutes pregnant with my daughter via Oh my gosh, which is so crazy and congratulations you have two kids. Yeah,

it's been a journey. It's been a journey, and I got pregnant. I think March eighth and shutdown was marked thirteen. So we just talked about that first set because I actually feel extreme jealousy for all women who have been pregnant courts. Now, there's some people that I know are going to be like, what do you mean we haven't been able to go out, And that's a fair point too, But I'm like, I should have actually should have done

this last March. I'm like, just to have been home, not to have been worried about be now you know, you're like, it's been amazing. I've worned sweatpants for a year, Like I've literally made a human birth to human and back. I've been in sweatpants the entire time. I've seen nobody. I know. I've nested, like, I mean, when this is over, I'm never nesting again. I have to say, I'm sure over it. But now, wait, are you are you thinking

about ever having a second? Do we know? I mean, I'm like, damn, I wish it was last March, like you know, just because it does feel like this time has been so nice, like to be spending it with Atlas, and and that has been the silver lining of this whole thing, because without it being like this, I would have been traveling once a month, and and you know, who knows how many of those little moments I would have missed looking back on it now, So it's a

completely different, you know, experience, and I have than my other friends without children. I get that, like I completely different experience. Being able to wake up to her changing every single day and seeing these changes has has been incredible. So I love that is a silver lifed day. And also when we last spoke a year ago, and I can say still to this day, you are still one of the most unflappable moms I've ever spoken to you.

So my question to you is that I've been dying to ask in this year of quarantine, have you stayed that way? Are you chill is fuck still? If you are, please send it my way, because I'm not tell me how parenting at List during this past year has changed that or made it stronger. I can only speak from my experience with this one child that I have and you know, are we following all the rules and she sleep trained perfectly? No? Absolutely not. Does she wake up

at two when we bring into our bed? Yeah? And am I okay with it? Yeah, because I'm not getting enough to go to set at seven am where I need a full night sleep. But by the way, when I bring her in, she sleeps until seven thirty, So it's like a peaceful thing and I love waking up next to her. So it's like that's changed. So is my sleep routine exactly how I would have imagined to be. Now that's not structured. She goes to bed at seven thirty every night, but the wake up and ending up

in our bed is a new thing. And we're like, all right, whatever, it's quarantine or whatever this is. Now at this point she's not hit the two stage. I think we need to check back in after she's like two, becase my runner. You can be my runner of like

the next four or five seasons. We'll just always check in, Just always check in, because I know the teenagers are going to be a whole other experience, But for right now, it's a different experience than what I'm sure I may have had if we were traveling with her on the road. You know, I may have been like, oh my gosh, hey like her on the plane and then at the hotel she was jet like. But I haven't had that

experience to compare it to. So for her being at home, yeah, I mean she's still we're still like, I'm not potty training yet. We haven't hit any of those milestones. So I'm like, it's good. It's more of the same. I have help here, you know, um to do this and to be working without completely again another experience. I have no idea how I would handle it. The milestones she has hit though, in this quarantine she I'm assuming she

took her first steps, she started walking running around. Has that been emotional for you that you've been kind of alone with all these things? The thing that I missed the most is not having my family and Matt's family able to see her and you know, in real life, because FaceTime a whole lot of that. Like she gets it now, she sees that's still for us. The only screen time that we've really had is when she uses

FaceTime to see my parents. So she's always like, whoa, you know, every I don't know what she's going to think when she starts seeing TV, she'll think that people can wave back to her. But right now, it's like she's seen my family that way. So that's the thing that I'm like, oh, I wish my grandma could just be seeing her right now. That has been the hardest part,

but you know, yeah, her milestones are crazy. Every single night, Matt and I are going to bed and we're literally just looking at the phone from those days photos and videos and we do that too. You know, it's sick. It's like you put them down to thirty and then you spend your night looking at photos of them. It's the most disgusting. I'm like excited to put her to bed, but then I'm also excited to wake her up. Like that doesn't go away. I still do that with my

three year old. I'm like, please go to sleep, like you're a toddler. You're so hard right now, And he goes down, and then what am I doing. I'm in bed scrolling through the photos of the day and his videos like it's I know, it's insane, it's insane, but I didn't have an emotional time like everyone now and again I'll look and I'll be like, but she's so big now. And Matt's like, okay, but bait, like that's what we want. I'm like, I know, but like look at her bed then, you know, did I really soak

that in? And of course I did. I was there every moment for it. But it's just it's it's it's wild. I'm like, oh wow, I get it now, Mom and Dad, I'm sorry, I get it. You know, has anything for the motherhood journey popped up for you that's been like super unexpected. Having a child has definitely made me realize just time is flying. Um, you know, it's tough, just because it's like I'm trying to figure out ways to help her development while being at home. Fortunately for us,

we went to Vancouver for a few months. I think that amazing. We're going back. It's it's different. It's different over there. I think they have less cases and you know, I don't know, it's just a different vo They have like parks open, there's like there's there's some there's a bit more normals. I mean, all of my friends who are shooting in Vancouver, I like, look at there because you have to quarantine there, right, you know, like so

things are working over there. So I do feel like that is something that I'm going to be doing with her. I have to take her back because I want to enroll her in some classes so she can see other kids. It's like, that's the only thing that has been really weird that I would never have thought i'd have to deal with. Pre COVID is really really hard. Yeah. The other thing you've been doing in quarantine is you've been working out a ton Like what what? What inspired that?

Just being stuck at home and feeling the need to move or I feel like yeah, lash after I feel like Vanity Fair that was the last big event that I went to. After that, I was like, Okay, we're here, Like, um, I'm a new mom. I feel like I should be back at work. What am I doing? A little bit of a struggle of course, Like I talked about, the silver lining of this was being able to spend all this time with that list, But it was a lot

of changes really quickly. For me. It was now being a stay at home mom, working from home and not being able to travel go to my job. Feel like any part of my old life was there. And I think that it was the biggest struggle. It wasn't like I was just coming into this like without child, like I was coming into this as like a new mom and like trying to figure out my new place in this world. While the world was really hard. Whoa, It's like your whole identity shifted, whole identity, but the whole

world changed too, so it's like, what the hell? Who are we? And I right? And and you know it forced me to in it to a position that I wasn't used to before, which was a stay at home mom. I wasn't prepared for that. And I don't know if we talked about that last time too, but I have friends that are incredible, and that in itself, as we both know, is a full time job. I wasn't ready for that job, hardest job in the world. I didn't

think about it like that. I was like, oh, I will have that list, I have an incredible team, I'll be able to travel, feel like myself again, come back be a mom. And that was taken it out. So I was like, all right, not feel bad for me, but like, oh my gosh, I need to figure this out. And from that I was like, Okay, I'll figure it out while sitting here, and you know, really enjoying myself with you know, maybe not the best food, maybe not you know, having too much wine, you know, at the

beginning and all of that. And then I was like, I'm not even moving. And I realized how much I used to just move. Whether it was going to the grocery store. I cut that out because I was getting my groceries delivered. So it was like all of that movement had stopped. And I've always said my entire life, I've been active since I was a child. I've always talked about working out for my mental health. That is my therapy. And when I stopped doing that because I

don't have it. I didn't have a gym in my house at that time, I was like, Okay, I didn't want to go on walks because paparazzi out there. I don't feel like getting photographed in my sweatpants and stained shirt today. So it was like all of that just took a toll. And I felt like ship last year Atlas was the best part of that. But mentally for me, I was like, I don't feel myself, like all of old Shay was gone. And so for me, I knew

that I had to make a change. I wanted to go into one different and January one I remember, like New Year's Eve, I went Ham, I ordered everything, and I've been doing that for the last six months. But like Ham and jan first, I'm like, no, I need to be healthier. I need to be what I was doing before this because I have to be strong and be here for Atlas. It's not just about me anymore. I want to be the best version. I want her to see me eating salads and not ordering all of

this stuff every single day. Like trust me, I'm a big fan of junk food, but in moderation, not every single day is my clutch. And so after I made that change, like now I'm like, I feel so freaking strong. I can pick her up my arms at any time, I can walk upstairs. I'm not out of breath. Like now I'm like cool, I feel like me And now I can be the best mom to you, the best partner to Matt, the best everything to everybody else because now I feel like I'm at my strongest again, And

that was super important. And also you set up the boundary, you know, you set up the boundary of like you know this is my time, you know, like I take this hour every day or whatever it is that you do three days is where you're like, I have to do this for mental physical health. I used to think about working out, you know, it's such a vanity what I look like, and now it's so much like, oh,

I just want to sap it here. I just want to be here for like a really long time so I can see your life and if that means that my heart is like able to do cardio so that I don't get sick, you know, like I actually it sounds dark, but like that's how I think about it. I'm like, I just really need to be healthy so I can like watch your life as long as I can and look back and be like I did what I could to be here. Man like absolutely absolutely. Yeah.

It's a you know, it's a weird world. Last night I had a little bit of a uh, you know, an ups and downs because I did my post. I posted this photo showing as a new mom, I feel super strong. So many people were like, wait, you should have a trigger warning with that. I'm like, I understand that. I mean I don't. I actually don't understand. And social media I've always been able to not pay attention to,

but that really bothered me. I don't know how that can affect anybody in a negative way because I busted my ass and I have proved a show for that. Like I worked out, I ate healthy. That is how I feel strong now. It's not about a diet t it's not about any of that stuff. I now feel like my old self and that needs to be celebrated, especially as a new mom. I couldn't. I could not agree with you more. Yeah, Dolphace hasn't gone back is on hamew So is this like the least like for you?

This is like being on set. It's slowed down for you. Does that feel good to you? Do you feel like you hate? Like? Are you like itching to get back to work? I'm not. I'm not itching because as I've been, you know, keeping myself busy with like social media content, still the YouTube, and then I have I launched Onto which is ready to drink to quill a brand in June of last year. So I've been busy and bass that have allowed me to stay home, which is nice.

But I remember we were talking. I was launching the diaper bags and it's out, We're sold out, we're getting restocked. So every day I'm replying to comments with my friends are like when's the backpack back? And that has been so much fun? Like it's that has been so cool. Bas is like my first baby, thank you um bass was like my first you know baby, and and my creative you know um energy is being put somewhere, So

I feel good about that. To physically be on set, do I miss that ish But to me, to be quite honest with you, for me to go back to being on set and being away from our physically, because I can do so much from home, it has to be a great project, like I have to want to

do it. I'm not just doing you know. I don't feel that strong about I'm not going to keep myself away from over twelve however many hours on set now, So I have a different perspective with that, and I think that's the one thing I let my whole team know, like unless it's a project, I feel really passionate about

not itching, you know. That's the biggest shift I feel like with motherhood is definitely like everything comes down to like a choice where this takes me away from my family, my children, So it either has to be worth it financially or artistically. Absolutely, or you know something that you're like, it has to be a real reason. So this year, we have truly been forced to sit with ourselves and we've we're reassessing a lot of things in our personal

lives and in our country. How have you been reflecting and how has this time shaped you? Oh my gosh, just everything Like what you just said, I'm like, yeah, because how much has happened in this past year. There's two sides to it. On one side, I'm like, okay, I feel you know, the positive side, I'm like, we are making movement. I want to say that we are heading in the right direction, you know, and that's and

that's exciting, that's positive. And then on the other side, I'm like, oh my gosh, we've been in this safe little bubble here and now I'm like freaked out. I'm freaked out when this is over, Like then she's out there and then she's in this world, and this world is all so crazy. While we're moving, I want to say in a better direction, there's also so much happening.

And I'm like I teeter tot her between like feeling safe in this moment right now because she's at home and I have her here and she's not in school yet and all of that to then also be like, but I want you to see the world. So this year is really kind of tugged with my emotions of like wanting it to be over and wanting to push her out there, but then also wanting to keep her safe in this little bubble that we've had. Of course, I mean, I think if I feel like we're going

to feel that way our whole lives. I'm in the same I didn't put out THEA in pre school because I was pregnant and then I had a newborn and I was like, oh my god, like this is crazy. But I have a three and a half year old toddler who doesn't see friends, and he writes socialization and he needs to learn how to share and like get

out there. But I'm keeping him in this protected bubble because I have a twelve week old and it's just like it's a But I think we'll feel that we have of wanting to keep them safe but then also wanting them to expand and have life experiences and learn

how to pick themselves up when they fall down. What advice or heads up would you have given to Shay Mitchell in March of know right, oh, man, Like what would we have told ourselves then, I don't know, go out to a party, like go on a trip right now, I don't know, like where there was less cases like just go on a trip and then come back, get it out of I mean, I don't know what we could have said to ourselves back then that would have prepared us for to have a whole I know I

would have said to myself, get pregnant right out, trying it right now, That's what I would have said to myself. Actually, what am I saying now is the perfect time, Shay like, because it was hard for me. It was hard to be pregnant, and as it is for so for everybody, I'm sure. But like you took to go to work, you know, to be out, and then we talked about the paparazzi photos, them getting you at your worst when you already don't feel great, you feel vulnerable. That was hard.

So had I could have just you know, not have had that. I don't know. I have so many mixed of feelings about how I felt and and and some of it is like blurry to me now, you know. I think that's obviously, what it does so that we get pregnant again completely wipes your memory. Because you know, I'll watch some videos and I will say, for the majority of it, I was so blessed and like liked

a lot of it. But the parts that I didn't like, I'm like, oh man, wow, it's like I want to say, and I'm gonna be honest and say it, like I wanted sibling so bad, but I don't want to go through pregnancy again. And and I wasn't that be mean goddess that absolutely loved it. I don't want to do it again, um, because it is. It took a oh I mean mentally, you know, and that's what we said, like I had pre partum, not post pre and and

that was something that I didn't know back then. I only heard postpartum, so I was preparing myself for that. But then when I was like upset and not feeling my best jury and I was like, wait, what's this nobody talking about? I should be so happy right now. So I'm nervous to go back into it for that again. However, I feel like if I'm home and I can be comfortable and I don't have to like I don't put the pressure on myself for being on set for doing that.

It will be I'll be more at ease. And also you can have the tools like set up, Like I have friends who had I think it's perinatal depression, which I really need to do an episode on, but people who have really horrible depression during their pregnancy and knowing that they had that the first time around, preparing themselves the second time around with the best you know that they can get for therapists and psychiatrists and whatever coping

mechanisms you have to to to do it differently. Also, I have to say my first and second pregnancies were completely different, so you you really don't know absolutely if you're pregnant with like a boy or a girl. Like every single pregnality is very different. Like I felt so different this this one was, like I wasn't sick a day with Albie. I've never been so sick in my life with my daughter. Like it was a very different experience.

And that's just physical. But but you will prepare yourself, um, and maybe you should get pregnant tomorrow so you don't have to go seriously it's like get seriously, Oh my god. The other thing I wanted to bring up. I was listening and you can tell me if you don't feel comfortable talking about it. But I was listening back to our conversation UM a year ago, and you had shared something that you were so excited about finding out when

you were pregnant with Atlas. But it was a little bit dampened because it was not the first time you had gotten pregnant. I don't know if that's out there or not, but that you had a miscarriage to me too, And I don't know, I was out of my mind when we last spoke and didn't extrapolate on that bit. But so you had a miscarriage before Atlas does Were you super far along? I was fifteen weeks Um. Everything

has been put in context. I've had, unfortunately friends of mine who have lost way further along, and I think at any point, any point, it is going to be extremely hard. Um. But I just like my heart goes out so much because I understand how that feels. And yeah, when I found out with Atlas, it was a little damp in. Like I said, I think we talked about last time, like when I told Matt that I was pregnant.

I was like, hey, so I'm pregnant, Like it wasn't as big of a surprise as it was the first time around when I surprised him and did this whole thing and filmed it. Because it's I'm nervous and I still will be that way. If I find out tomorrow that I'm pregnant. I'm going to be nervous the whole way through until after and for the rest of my life.

That's what I And that has been something that I've told all my friends who don't have children, and I say, like, you know, the ones that are in relationships that are like, oh, we're thinking about like cool. I just want you to enjoy this time right now where you only worry about each other and yourself, like but most of yourself, because you will never understand the worry. You will never be able to go on vacation and turn off your phone

completely and like just shut off the world. You will never be able to do that again because your mind will always be wondering like is she okay? Is he okay?

You know it will always be there. So just like that freedom that you have right now, enjoy that forever, because the day you find out you are pregnant and for the rest of your life you will all be worried about their health and their happy and all of that, you know, And so I think for me, I think from that experience, I'm I'm just very cautious for the whole thing, and I will be, if you know, I'm fortunate to have to get pregnant again. So I feel

the same way. I'm glad we've talked about that. That is, it was so awful to go through, and also just I'm glad you talked about it because you have such reach to so many people and listeners and miscarriages. You know, the numbers are one in four pregnancies or miscarriages, and women really talk about it and what you know, what it goes through mentally, what you go through mentally and physically to your body, your hormones, and oh the loss. It was so brutal, brutal, and I think my miscarriage

was like eleven and a half weeks. But I was did you have to get a d n C. Yes, yeah, same, same, same, which for anyone listening, it's a surgical procedure. It's like you're too far along, um, you know where it would happen on its own. You know, someone who might miscarriage it like seven or eight weeks. You know, it might

be like a very painful heavery period. But like when you get to a certain point, you have to do it surgically, which is like I remember having the surgery and then that night I was like, I'm having so much fucking tequila and sushi, Like I can't like just all the things. Totally, totally. My last question, can we just take a second and talk about pregnancy melasma. I just saw that you had that too. I have it. I never again talk about different pregnancies and different reactions.

Never got melasma at all with Albie. I was completely glowing vera. I I have my beautiful grandmother. I can't see it right now, by the way, so I don't know if it's your camera. Let me get close. There's a dark spot that's like Granny Pat, I love you. If you're listening, my granny pad has this like it's unbelievable.

I have to go back to shoot in March and I just texted the makeup artist and I was like, I don't know what kind of concealer you have, but I have a different face than I had a year ago when we were shooting, I have dark spots that I mean, I can't get taken off. I don't I don't know, but I can't see any on you either. Won the zoom is working, wonders um. You know. I see Shawnnie Darden and she has recommended some things. There's obviously I'm sure like these treatments and lads, at the

end of the day, yes, makeup will cover it. I haven't found anything that I'm like, oh, this is incredible, this completely works. I'm just continuing with her retina and all of that. I do think though it got better for me at least from right after I had our two now. So I'm sun screening it up every single day. I don't care if it's raining in gray outside. There's sun.

So much sunscreen on my face every single day now. See, I have really been bad about the sunscreen because I'm like, I'm in everything even no no, if you I'm sitting in front of a window right now, the UV whatever is coming through Katie every single day sunscreen. I don't care a dark We needed to hang out, like you're going to save my face because I haven't done ships fallen off the wagon of self care. Let me tell you, like and I'll wake up, you put on sunscreen, you

massage your face, okay, like a little lymph. It's literally a three minute process. We need to talk again. Yes, next season when you I'm going to put money on you will have a second child. By then, I'm going to put money on it. I'll probably put money on it too, like I'm gonna put money on that you have a second child. And then we need to talk about and connect on sibling rival later listening to potty trading. Also, one plus one does not equal to one plus one

equals eleven. Let me tell you that right now. There we go. That's good. I've never heard that before. And that's incredible. I don't know how anyone has more than two right now. I have a three and a five year old, very active boy and a eleven and a half week old daughter. And it is six thirty am when she's hanging off my tit and he's screaming at me and bouncing balls off her head and throwing shit

at her. It's unfucking real. It's unreal. And and I I'm so excited because we're going to talk again, and you're going to connect with me on this, You'll still be unflappable, because that is the shame. Mitchell. We all know and love I We'll see, we'll see checking with you when I have to. I heard one to two is crazy. Two to three is like, yeah, I've heard that too. It's hard, but it's also magical. They do. They're connected, they're speaking a language to each other. That's

really um Shane Mitchell, you are a vision. Because we've booke ended the beginning of quarantine? Can this be the end? Like like like also like can I just have another kid before completely opene? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hello, Yeah, that's what we'll do. It's like you'll get pregnant and it's like we'll just open it up a little bit where it's like you can do It's it'll be like

our nice, loving and gentle re entrance into society. But we're still ways away from like full blown dancing in a club, you know, at an event, at an event, it's like we're not doing that. We're not doing that. And then hopefully when this world does open up, then kids can play and we can have a coffee day and that would be in real life, and our four children will be on a playground. Oh my god, I love it. I love you. It's so great talking with you, Shay.

I'm so happy for you. Atlas is so beautiful. Congratulations on all of your businesses and success. Thank you and congrats to you too, you Mama, Thank you, you guys. We did it. That's it, that's it. That's the whole season three of Katie's Crib. I cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart for being my rock. Honestly during this whole year, my community, during this incredibly isolating time, Katie's Crib was truly a safe space and

I thank you for that. And I wanted to let you know that season four will becoming at you in the spring. So we're not letting our foot off the gas here. We got work to do, We got things to learn, things to unlearn, things to figure out, laughs to be had, tears to be shed, you name it. So email me guests that you want to hear from, topics you want me to talk about at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. Thank you guys so much again. I love you, Stay safe, all my love at my

best and I can't wait for season four. Oh and make sure you guys subscribe, because you know if you do, then you'll be the first to know when season four is returning. You'll get all the info. Bye, guys. Katie's Grim is a production of Shonda land Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from shand land Audio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You never until you trynted Ride. Thank