First-Year Milestones

and absolutely insane first year. UM. And we're also going to talk about some of the important things to look out for and also very importantly how to enjoy the special and awesome moments in the first year of your child's life. Today, I'm super stoked. We have amazing guests. We have the wonderful and amazing pediatrician who I've been working with very closely and texting NonStop in New York City while I'm here doing UM waitress. She is a

pediatrician by name of Dr Danielle Taylor. Welcome to the podcast. Than she is amazing, UM. And then we also have Nicolette Robinson, who is running a little late because I guess subways are crazy in New York and we are super bar downtown, so she'll be entering in a little bit. And then a very good friend, Jamie Stetler, who literally was driven to high school by my husband, Adam drove me to high school. I'm up around the corner for me and here we are now, and Jamie and I

have known each other for years. And Jamie, how old is your daughter? Sonny is fifteen months? Fifteen months almost sixteen months, And I can't even imagine getting to that place at like a year, Like I'm like, what, what's going to happen? Now? This is so insane? And UM, Dr Danielle Taylor, who will just call Danielle now right? Perfect? Okay, great, UM, tell us a little bit about yourself. We came to

meet um through an actor in Waitress the musical. I've seriously I'll be had a cold and cough for the fifty million time and I needed a pdhan to reach out to. So I've I'm practicing, uh, the faculty practice at Columbia Universities. I worked for Columbia UM and it's just you've been there. It's a little small shop and we see patients and we have fun and we see babies and UM, I've been practicing for fourteen years. UM, and your mom yourself, I am. I have two children.

I have eleven year old, so you I forgot to a thirteen year old. Someone asks, like another month, Well, now you're in years, so I guess we still forget that kind of easier. Who even knows? Um, So let's start with you, um, Dr Taylor Danielle. So when you come in for your like the one year check up is like this big thing. Are there actual, real like milestones that you're looking for? I mean, I think it's important to um know that milestones, developmental midlestones have big ranges.

So what some child would One child will do it nine months, another child will do it fifteen months, and we don't care when it happens. It makes everybody crazy. Oh my god, this makes me feel so much better. Say I told you this podcast was just very selfish. It doesn't. It doesn't. It's a party trick. It doesn't mean anything special to us if they do it in in nine months versus fifteen months, as long as they're progressing. Brilliant.

Because I literally went to a baby class here in New York and there was a mom whipping out flash cards to her nine month old and the baby could like touch her nose and touch her head and do all these things, which like Albie has like a now her nowhere near like his no party tricks. Not really. So I was like, of course, you're just going to

freak out, land. Um, Now, did you feel a lot of pressure, um, Jamie when your daughter turned one, like about these milestones, like to have you felt like she was crawling by a certain age or she was not speaking yet or things like that. Well, what's so interesting about Sonny is that she was walking at ten months, Like see walking? What? Well, But here's the thing is

that she never crawled, so everyone else was crawling. She would always just kind of stand there like she wanted to be a big girl, and she just she stood there. And so when she's walking, everyone's like, I can't believe she's walking. I can't believe she's walking. But now all of her friends are starting to have all these words, and she says mama and dada and like that's it. Hey, there's two. But so it's like some people do some

things faster than some do others. And so for us, it was more like she seems super ahead at certain things, but she's also like a lot bigger than all of her friends, and it was like, what does that mean? And and that's exactly how it goes. So so they sometimes will work on one skill, a verbal skill, and then the motor skills will kind of just stay where they are for a little bit and then they'll work on that skill. So it really is a big range. Um.

Neither of my children called. They both started walking, which is nerve racking at nine months when they're not crawling. Oh my gosh, Like literally, I'll be just started crawling. He's eleven months. He just started crawling like a week ago, and I've been having a fucking heart attack. Now he's army crawled for months. Uh no, not belly up. And I was having a heart attack googling at three o'clock in the morning during my insomnia of like why isn't

my baby crawling? Because really, I think what motherhood, and especially around this year, milestone is so much about. It's funny. It's like an acting career. It's like that compared despair thing which you really don't want to do, of like really measuring up your child all the time with when the other babies in class are doing things. Um, but he started crawling like a week ago, which is like super late. But I mean, what are you gonna do about it? Right? But it's like, but then he has

a thousand teeth, Like a thousand teeth. Why does he have so many teeth? I don't know. Um, I'm gonna interrupt really quick and we'll get back to this to introduce the amazing Nicolet Robinson, who is my new friend and is currently playing Jenna in Waitress. Yes, I'm so sorry, I'm late. You guys mama problems. I mean, I guess

that's the that's it. And also, you were starring on Broadway yesterday, Like I sing like eleven songs of the musical and Nicolet sings thirty billion songs in the musical and care I think you're only offstage for one minute probably and your line before you leave the stages, I have to go pee, which I know Sarah Brella is put in there specifically because she was like, you can't go to and a half hours without going to that room. Um, so tell us about you have a daughter. I do.

She has sixteen months same age and wait, so you just said so my daughter was all, I'm just hopping in but like my daughter was so late and crawling as well and walking, she just started she started walking like last months, like a fifteen months she started walking. And no, it's not right in there only because you see, compared to everybody else there kids that are off exactly. Wait a second, all her friends were long before her, and we were just like she's taken her town. And

did you feel the chill about that? Like are you good at like checking yourself of like this is just when she needs to do it, and that's fine, Like as long as the doctors aren't worried, I should not worry. Yeah, I think. I mean every you of course want your kid to be ahead of the ahead of the game always.

You have this internal competition always. But yeah, I know, I mean everybody was saying you're lucky, like you don't have to run all over chasing her and listen that so I mean, but but she also she's she's been ahead like in terms of like words and yeah, she's she's very more about like the verbal and the and its visual and seeing things in the movement. She's been she's been chill but she hasn't been like anxious about it as long as she's not feeling you know, upset

or feeling exactly exactly. They do not care. You're always so happy you don't care. Um, can you guys? Really? Also? Uh, I want to get into some more specifics with Danielle the doctor, but also tell me about UM. I know we're talking a lot about like physical milestones with babies and compared despaired. And I think you bring up a really important point, Jamie that I think in this world

of social media, it's gotten like so much worse. Like I can't tell you how many friends that post the video of their baby's first steps or the baby's first crawl, or the baby's first word, or the first time the baby feeds themselves, and I go right into where does my baby measure up in that? And it sucks. It's like, oh, like you can't. Can you not your face all day

every day? And I'm doing it too, like I'm one guilty like of of you know, like you know, posting family photos to family and things like that, of like the milestones that he's reaching. Um. And also size is a big like every time I get you know, Albie is really small. He's in the seventeen percentile. Sonny is in the center. I'm sure you feel concerned about that, and I feel concerned about him being small, and I'm completely clueless. I could not tell you in a million years.

And that's actually the better way to be that she's like average. I have no idea, no matter what I say. People, So she's on the twentieth percentile, that's great, Well shouldn't she be on the eighth pisente, Well she was on the fifth percentile last time, So we're getting there. It's

all you and your temperament. And I have to say this is so important with whatever pediatrican you're working with, but so lovingly that I'm working right now with doctor Danielle that I feel like you always make me chill about it, Like when you were like, well, i'll he's measuring in the seventeenth percentile, so you're like, you know, I think he said something like so whatever, he's not the biggest. He's not the biggest kid in the sandbox,

but like has he always been at that? And yes, he's always consistently growing and never dropping scarily below that. But you always make me feel at ease thanks for saying I really appreciate that. Um. So uh. I want to talk really quickly also about the one year like birthday party situation that's going on now that we're in social media. Um, because I'm in the midst of planning it. I definitely said I wasn't having one stressful. Did you ladies have a big for one your birthday party? And

you as well for your I can't remember me. I can't remember. There was no social media back then, and I can't remember. My dad's gonna kill me. No, she's not. She doesn't remember either. Um, Jamie, did you have a

big birthday party? We did. I would have done it in my apartment, but I was like, the smallest number of people is like all of our immediate family, and I was like, there's not enough places for people to sit in our apartment for like the adults who me and so we did it in the lounge of our building. So I was like thinking that that meant it would still be chill, because it's like in our home quote unquote. But then it was like, did you invite this person?

Did you invite that person? And the list just kept growing and growing and growing, and Brian's like, what about this person I work with as a kid their age and this person I work with, oh, and that person would love to come. The list kept growing, and at first it was like, we're just gonna put some balloons up, and then it was like, we need a theme, and then it turned into Sunny's First Fiesta, and then you

were then you were cut to. You told me you were making like Sonny's Margarita's from Scratch Sonny that we got like the mini patron bottles, and I like, and we got these colorful straw that sound like a dope party. Though I was like, well, I was like, I want to have a drink at this part of course, and so and then it just it was one thing after the other. And then I was like, the only thing I care about is the Momofuku birthday cake because it

is the best cake. It's on my to do list because of you, best cake in the city, and everyone loves it. So I got that. And then you hear, what about a smash cake? Is there a smash cake for her? And I'm like, a smash cake? She's never even had cake? Exactly? Can you explain what the hell of smash cake is? It's a small, like personal size cake just for her that she can do whatever she wants with and that's usually smash it okay, And I want to know what the statistics are the babies that

actually do it well. We put the cake in front of her, expecting her to like lose her mind. She was like, what is happening? What is this thing? So I start literally like stopping the cake. I'm like, I went and got this cake because it's all about us. You're gonna eat the smash cake. It is here, I thought it. And then she was like and then you could tell she was kind of like, all right, this taste kind of good. And she had a couple of

bites and everyone's taking pictures of her. She looks horrified, horrified, But it was like, you do all these things because there are things that everyone tells you that you have to do. Did you feel like it was worth it? It It was afterwards, like when you look back through the pictures, you're like, I'm so glad I have these fun pictures with this beautiful color balloons and the little sunny Rita's like it's cute and I'm glad that we did it. But A, I will tell you the whole week leading

up to it. I barely slapped. I was so stressed out about it because it was one thing after another, like you got the balloons, oh, and now where are we going to get this? And where are we gonna get that? And then the other thing. I will tell you, and I don't like to really give advice, but if you're gonna leave you a birthday party, have a human or two or three who do not have children, who are there to help only help you, like facilitate a party,

whether it's a babysitter, a nanny, a family. My best friend Jesse was there. God bless you Jess. She was like making the margarita, would make up strong. Do you feel like you got tanked? Because that's what my dream is. I was like drinking, but it's like there's just so you know, like when you're in party mode, it's like a whole other there's a lot of adrenaline. I also feel like the one your birthday party and I want

to hear what you didn't neglect to. I also feel like the one your birthday party is it has it's just so much more for us than it is for

the baby. Because right the one year old doesn't care, and it's more I think, just a celebration that you've made it to a year and like you did it, and like that's why I think we have these images in our head of like, well, I wasn't going to do anything, but now I'm like, but I want to pat myself on the back and have a themed party and like congratulate myself and definitely have like one or

five mimosas. Like you realize all the pictures of all the first birthday parties that you've seen, how much went into those. You don't realize until you do it, and you're like, how do people have the time and the money and the energy for all? Did you have a big na? We did? I mean, of course it was stressful. I mean we were trying to make it as chill

as possible. And my birthday is five days before hers, and it was my thirtieth birthday, and so we were like big, big for mama and yeah, so so poor baby. Her birthday totally got on the back burner. It was I mean, like days before we decided we had no theme. We had no but we decided we were going to do it at my parents house and we were still in l A. At the time. I literally had found out days before that I had booked Waitress Musical on Broadway and that we were coming. So it was like

lots of craziness and excitement. And I also had to fly to New York on her actual birthday for the final callback for this, and I was like devastated. My husband kept it was so, I mean, I knew what my family and my husband were reminding me was like, hey, she's never going to remember, She's not going to know that it's even her birthday today and we're going to

have a party for her on the weekend. But um, for me, it was a good reminder to be like, I'm doing this for myself, which is also going to benefit her and her seeing that Mama's like out there, get going to like do something she loves and she's going to be working and all that. So, you know, tried to keep it in perspective, what a huge milestone for you on her one your birthday, to like you're doing something for yourself, like on your for your career.

It felt like finally, like I mean, it had taken me an entire year to get to this place where I actually felt like I could do something for myself, which I mean, I'm sure you guys unders time leaving her. No, it wasn't. I've I've actually been doing like little work jobs that had taken me out of town a lot. Probably like a week was the longest I had been away, and that's always so hard. But um, but yeah, but I finally felt at the one year mark like I had kind of gotten a hold of motherhood in a

in a way. I mean, we're still always I don't know how you guys feel, like, do you my god? Oh my god? Yeah, So did you end up having a big party last minute? It was just like a lot of family and friends and it was actually kind of chill and sweet. And we did what you said. We hired our housekeeper to come and like help with, you know, cleaning up after, like with the food and this and that, and and my parents were there and a good amount of people who don't have kids were

there as well, so that was really helpful. It wasn't too hands yeah, exact exactly, so it wasn't too chaotic. We had, you know, in the house, we did we did ridiculously order like tables and chairs and balloons, and I felt like I just spent this much money on party goods for a one year birthday, But like you was pressured to do it, you just really do. But I mean I definitely do and I was not going to have one, but you don't have to. And part of it is also for for your friends and your family.

It's it's partially because I was I don't know about you, guys, but I was completely under a rock for a majority of of the beginning of her life, and so it was more like, let me invite people over so they can see my daughter, and I'm going to try and force myself to be more social. And you know, it was coming out party. Yeah, coming out party. It is. You're You're definitely in a fog that first year. Yeah.

I would say if you wear makeup at any point during the first year pediatrician visit, you get like extra points. I've never worn makeup to a pediatrician visit. My one year I wear makeup and like, take a photo. It is one year pig I am going to I mean, I will be mind alone. Dr Taylor, can you explain what a milestone regression is? Is that a thing? Oh? God, she would not be talking about it. No, no, we can talk well. So a milestone regression is um, just

like it sounds. It's when you used to do something and you either don't do it anymore. You've plateaued, so you haven't a vance. And we talked about ranges and always progressing. So a regression is when you either do something and stop doing it. Interesting, So babies can do that, like they may have crawled for a week and then they don't anymore, or you can do I mean there, there's things that are definitely normal that can happen. When do that big life changes moving to New York. Um,

that's when our sleep aggression hits sleep regression. Um, we're working on a new skill, like we talked about. So if you've been, if you've been you know, clapping your hands, and now you're working on waving goodbye, you may not clap your hands anymore. So definitely normal. I can make it happen having another baby. I'll do it sometimes, changing from the the baby room to the toddler room and take care something like that. Um. There and then their

regressions that we worry about. So those regrestions that you talk about aren't really ones to freak out about, not at all because they're normal reactions to life environment exactly. And then what are the ones to worry about? There? Never want that with the adopt there's one that you bring to me. You bring all of them to me, and I say, you know what, you just had a baby, you just had another baby, so this baby kind of

wants to go back a little bit. Or you know that this didn't get a lot of sleep, working on some language skills, working on some new motor skills. So um. And then if you say, you know this baby has been cruising for ten months, never I mean, hopefully it doesn't get that far, but I didn't progress past that. Then maybe we investigate a little more, but it's never

anything to anything to worry about. Do you find that moms with their first baby m like me, text you all the time, like a thousand questions, and then their second baby comes around and it's like whatever, yes and no, okay, tell me? Um, does this ever ever end the neuroses and the anxiety? I really hear my mother saying, well, better to be safe than sorry. I'm like, oh my God, Like it is endless. I mean I know that is true.

Hopefully they hopefully we've learned some stuff. Hopefully we've developed a relationship where, um, you can rely on what I say and count on what I say, and and you know me a little better with the second baby. Um, most of the questions questions from a mom with a second baby start, so the first baby did this, the second baby does this differently? Babies to each other. Yes, different twins differently. Um, they do it in a different way, they did it in in a different timetable. Is that okay?

And like I said, there's a rain, so of course it's okay. It makes sense. Yeah, it totally makes sense. Um. Let's um, I want to hear about how you guys felt the first time, Like was it a big deal when your baby like first walked, because like I haven't had that yet. You will, oh yeah, I will, you will like was it a big deal? You were there or not there? Like you got it on tape or you didn't, because I'm one convinced I'm not going to

be there. I wasn't there when she crawled, and my family was terrified to tell me, and I don't think I don't think they should tell you necessarily really because because the nanny stopped telling the stuff. Let me figure it out. Doesn't matter if they saw it first or you saw it first. Just let me let me. Like, my husband had a full blown meltdown because we've both

were both in waitress right now. So the nanny's like, whoa like a lot of hours being logged, um, and she was in Central Park and she sent a photo with like white stuff all over his face and my husband wrote, what's that? And she said, oh, I gave him ice cream? And I thought my Now, I secretly inside really kind of liked it because I have given up a lot of firsts to my nanny. I went back to work when Albi was eight weeks old. Adam this was his first of like Adam's favorite dessert in

the world is ice cream. It's his everything. And the fact that the nanny gave it to him without Adam, there was like mass pandemonium in my household. But I was like, Okay, it's his first ice cream with her, but you're gonna have your You're going to have your first ice cream with him, and it'll probably be like a better flavor or like whatever it is better. Yeah, Like you know, um, you're definitely going to capture it better because my nanny is you know, she's wonderful, but

she's she's not amazing at the technological phone photography. Um So anyway, he faced his first like big miss out, Um you missed her crawling? Yeah, I did, but with walking. I literally caught it on video, which is crazy, which I don't I don't even know how well my sister's My sister is really good with kids, and she she works, actually she's getting her final hours and um she has her masters in psychology and she works with kids under the age of three who are showing signs of autism

possibly or behavioral issues or developmental developmental issues. So she's really good at like talking, teaching kids, like just helping assisting with their development. And so she was like holding Lucy, my daughter's Lucy, and she was holding her hand like basically like just I had a finger for her to hold and my daughter was barely holding onto her but it was just more of a security blanket. And so that was such an int I had never thought to do that. Um, I mean it was more just like here,

I'm with you. But she was basically walking by herself but just holding onto her fingers. So I I grabbed the camera, my phone and I was just recording it, and eventually she just was continuing to walk alongside her and then she just like slipped her finger out of her hand, and then there was she was walking, and then she did it one other time and then she basically didn't do it again for like a week. Okay,

there you go, that's normal. Car. What about Sonny. Sonny was like pushing things, like never really crawled, like I said, So it was like she was pushing around her little loud walker thing that things the most annoying songs, or she was pushing this wagon thing, and so we knew it was coming, and so I was always like phone out, ready for it. And then I got a couple of her first steps on camera. And then the next morning because I'm on the local morning news here in New York.

Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, as like a breaking news. That's

so cute walking. And like the beauty of social media, I will say, because there's so much bad with like comparing and all of that stuff, I really have found that sharing a lot of those big moments, the comments at least, and who knows about all the people who aren't saying anything or whatever, but there's so much beauty in the support that you get and the cheering on and even the times when I've asked a question, like when she was teething and I was like, I am

losing my mind. Tell me every teething remedy you have ever had, and it's like, in those moments, social media is a beautiful thing. You have found it to be very helpful. Yeah, yeah, um this also, have you guys had uh a milestone happened that has like brought you to tears because I I've been like, fie, he crawled, the army crawled, he did all this stuff, and like it's just been like great, like yeah, like he's doing it and totally fine. But when he got his first tooth,

I sobbed, like I don't know why that is. And this is a really disgusting Hilary story, but I called my mom when he got his first tooth and I said, I can't believe I'm having this reaction. Like I also think it's probably just because he got his first tooth really early on, and I'm I was still a hormonal, insane person. And I think we're all going to look back at these first two years and realized we were

all still insane. Too, like I still think, like I'm just like I can't believe you and I are doing a Broadway musical in this state, Like I just it's really insane. I'm so impressed with you because I told you, like one year mark for me was really when I was like ready to come out of my little rabbit hole. I hear me to look back on everything I've done, and it's going to be like I don't think I was okay. But anyway, here we are. It's for all of you guys to hear and judge, so you're welcome.

I think it's interesting the milestones that hit you and the ones that don't, or whether it's it comes on a certain day when you're particularly emotional, it's not the actual milestone that's with you. Like when we lowered Sunny's crib from like the high thing to like the full crib and we put her down and she sat in there and at the time she looked tiny, and it wrecked me. I was like, she looks like she's in a cage. I don't think she's happy. This isn't good.

And of course she was like, so fine, it doesn't care. But it was like the things that move you and you're like back in your own bedroom, sobbing. My mom said, I called her and I was like, he just got his first twoth and I just believe it. And I stuck my finger in there, and Adam said he felt something that I put my finger in there and I felt it. He has tooth. And Mom was like, so my mother, she was like, oh, I remember when I like lost my mind when you were growing up. And

I said, what what made you like? Sab? She's like, I had to exit and go to the bedroom and just cry when I saw that you had your first pup took it took a while, like can you believe that? Like she was like, that's what's marked in her brain is like her little daughter was like growing up. It must have been like changing out of a beating suit or like god knows what. But she like I saw some sort of like hair growing there. And she said

she lost her mind. And I was like, oh my god, like that's going to be a whole other thing we have to do. Oh God. So that's where you're at because you're in the teenage stage, which seems like a real nightmare. But I remember I don't remember crying with my daughter with Miles Sons. When I cut my son's hair for the first time because he looked like a big boy and the baby curls came off and he was over a year. He needed a haircut terribly. He

looked really really need a haircut. And the first time we cut his hair, he's a pick boy. I do remember that. And I cried in the Cosey cuts her kids. Oh my god, I'm not ready for the first haircut either. Um so uh oh. What we were talking about with people missing them like Serena Williams woo woo. She tweeted that she wasn't there for her daughter's first steps, you know, like she took her first steps and she was training

and she cried and she missed it. Like I'm so scared at he's going to walk and I'm not going to see it. But all the responses to that tweet were beautiful. On there were so many people that were like, she's gonna walk again, or you were making her so proud, or wait till she sees what you were doing on the day when she took her first step, which, by the way, like do any of you know when you took your first step? Because like, I don't know. I honestly, yeah,

I don't even. I was talking about this with my husband the other day. I was like, what when do you remember when your first memory was? Because my for sure it wasn't until I was like at least two, and then probably after that like way later. Yeah. Oh yeah, Like I have maybe one memory when I was like barely walking, but like that's it. Your parents probably remember.

And I do tell people when they're worried about milestones and when people when they reached them, I said, ask your mother, ask your mother in law, when did you do that? Invariably it's going to be early or late, and it'll and and genetics being what they are, they do reflect and we have to kind of remember that we all are sitting here, and we all poop on a toilet, and we all sleep through the night, and

we're going all the time. I'm like, Brian, have you ever seen an adult like aside from medical problems of some kind, Like no one's crawling to work, right, Everyone's going to get at some point we're gonna be okay. Have you guys found like any books or um apps or anything like that to be like super helpful um in this sort of arena, Like is there something in the first year of having your baby that you like

couldn't live without? Like, I, Um, I really love this book called The Conscious Parent, um, which is just a wonderful reminder to me always. I think also in milestones with this compared despair thing that like, the book is very much about how the baby is here to teach me stuff and I'm not supposed to teach him stuff, and the baby is here to I mean, this is a little l a woo woo, but whatever, he's he's here to make me a better person and me take

me to another plane of consciousness, so to speak. And so I try to remind myself that when I'm sitting here trying to measure up his milestones and when he's supposed to walk and when he's supposed to talk and all this stuff, is to just really let him be and that he's here to teach me when I'm what I'm supposed to talk and walk and how I'm supposed to talk and walk. Um, have you guys found anything

to be super helpful in your year? Like is there an app that like when you're pregnant, there's all these apps about like this month, this is happening in this month, and that is happening. But and then you you don't get on your phone for the next year or so. Nobody really that's the recommendation is not to not google

this ship. Um. I think that the breastfeeding apps are helpful because I'm gonna ask you in the first visit how many peas and poops there are, and you're gonna have to look at your paper or but there's an appted, but there's an app for that, and that's that's a

good one. Yeah, glow. I use like, yeah, when you're at the beginning, when you're really making sure that there are wet diapers and poopy diapers and because that's the way you can tell they're not dehydrated and they're eating and that things are going in and things are coming out, which I also actually still use when he's sick, like, um, if he has a cold or a cough or something like, I know it's not red alarm alert, holy shit problem area, Like if my nanny and I are like, well, he

he's had you know, a lot of p diapers today and his poop is normal, and how many times because you know that it's just like a cold and coffin. We're not like dehydrated or something like that. Literally just check my phone and I deleted them all. I was just so I was like, like's off my phone, just like I don't remember the name of the apps for me, but maybe on the Block is a good one, the happiest. Yeah, with the five it's great. Dr Carp. Yeah, they I used this and he has a toddler book as well.

M hmm yep, oh he does use this new I I used this new like for the first four or five months of her life. And this news, so you guys know, is a crib designed by Dr Carp that's essentially like a baby nurse. The crib senses when the baby wakes up and just kind of gently shakes the baby, which mimics how the baby feels inside the womb, so that the shock after they come out to just like kind of having to sleep silently by themselves and not

be comforted. Yeah, it's great. It was great, But yeah, I I also the happiest toddler on the That's what was right. Yeah, my mom, I'm the worst with that stuff, Like I literally have like you are, I feel like your child. Thank God, you're hanging I'm hanging out with honestly, Honestly, I'm not chill. I mean I am way more chill now. I had so much anxiety in the beginning phases, and I also like completely had the worst, most horrible time

with breastfeeding. I had to stop at five weeks with her, and so like I had just you know, eventually, I think it was partially just me being like, screw all this, I don't deal with it. I can't deal with the pressure. And I still had the anxiety, and you know, in l A called called my pediatrician all the time. I haven't bothered you too much yet, but yeah, I but I have a zillion books that I've never picked up.

But my mom is good with that stuff, and she she was helpful with the happiest toddler, like the biggest thing. I think that helped me because sometimes you're dealing with this with your child and they're doing new things and you're like, I have no idea, like behavioral wise, because they don't know the difference at this age that they're doing something that they're not supposed to be doing, But

how do you Sometimes sometimes they know. Yeah, but like even with like when she would get really frustrated and get upset. She she kind of went through this phase where any any little thing that went wrong, if she dropped something, or if she was pointing at something and you couldn't you know, you didn't understand what she was doing. She was just having a trouble, having trouble with communicating, and she just got really frustrated real fast. She would

just start crying or yelling immediately. And so my mom read a tantrum. It wasn't a tantrum. It was just like a lot of noise and a lot of it, just like I don't know or singer and she's got I mean, she's herself. And she was like, well, Mama DoD sing all the time. She'll be in her crib and just like making sounds and singing stuff like by herself for for like a full hour before she takes

her nap. She'll just yeah, but that's another thing. But but for when she couldn't communicate, my mom read somewhere that you like that was helpful for us. I don't know if it works for everybody, but you know, if she was upset, oh, you identify, I know you're feeling Lucy's feeling frustrated or you're feeling sad. Let's talk about we're feeling sad because I know you want this toy but right now you can't have it, but you feel sad. And just like acknowledging the feelings that she exactly what

I tell people to do. It can interesting go down to their eye level, and so I understand you don't want to leave the park yet. You're having a really good time, but it's time to go, and it'll you'll still get the crying, but it'll probably be at a

you know, seventies sixty pc, which is huge. Um, right, it's being heard versus like just really shoving down their throat what needs to happen right now, which is why she used to say when Sonny was crying, she would be like, Sonny got really angry, and Brian and I would always laugh and be like, she's assigning these full on,

like adult emotions to her. And for a while we thought it was like the funniest thing in the world that she would talk about her like she was in a don't But after a while like she was slowly teaching us and now we've all caught on how important it is that like though she does have real emotions and that you should be talking to her that way, and that she responds to that so well. It's not just like, oh, she's crying, When is the baby going

to stop crying? Yeah, because their babies, we think that they don't understand as much, but it is incredible how much they understand what we're saying. And if you can just like communicate with them, they actually they can't communicate back as well, but they really do understand all. Part of the language that's by reading is so important to them. And you can read your scripts. You can read oh I run lines without just doing with do with a singsong.

Voys do it with a nice gentle like you're reading, you know, the best story whatever. But it can be anything and they love it. I was so worried because Adam and I were on vocal rest so much because we're Broadway singers now, and it was really hard, scary and um there were so many days where he would look at me like mom, why are you moving your face so much? And like not talking because I got

really sick. It was crazy, Like oh my god, you guys Broadway, real deal, So let's talk about phases and when things are supposed to end or start or move on, because you did mention Danielle like that there are windows, which for some reason, that word feels much better to me. Um, you know than like I think about like the do date, Like I wish it was like a window. So you know, um, can you tell us like our doctors really looking at phases and when things start or end or windows, we

do look at windows. So walking window, you know, it would be nine months to fifteen months, sixteen months, And like I said, if you're progressing and you're right there and you're holding onto a finger, but you just don't want to let go because that's you know, they come here a certain way, that's your temperament. So possibly they can walk, but they just they're feeling a little hesitant. Or you have the child that is really motivated to

walk and they're and they're going full on. Um. So I think if if you're ever concerned, you know, we can always do evaluations and always tell your pet trip. You know, I know you said not to worry, but I am worried, So let's make me not worry. And that's always an appropriate thing to say in question to ask um. So there are there are windows and talking. You know, we want at a year maybe mama, dada or the dog's name or that that which they say

for everything when they're pointing at stuff. We more want them to understand you. So if you say where's the cat or where's the dog, you know that's also language. Sign language is also language. UM. So there are different ways to communicate UM in their different ranges. UM. And so they're like not saying words again, guys using Katie's group benefit um. If he's like not saying words, but you're like, where's my baby and he points to himself

or like where's my understanding? He can hear, he understands what you're saying. He knows he's the baby. Just don't feel like saying it. You also can't want it too bad.

I always say. I'm always like, don't make them perform like she will do it when she wants to, like she knows, Like I always feel like she has all these words and she's looking at us, like gosh, my cousin's kids twins, they didn't speak until they were almost like three years old, and now they are just they are chatty and just I mean it just we were nervous about it. But I think they speaking to each other they like, I think in their own sort of

like twins sort of communication way. They were kind of just communicating with each other in a lot of sounds, but not Yeah, they weren't speaking and we were all so nervous, and now they're they're like they're completely from the Yeah, they chat all the time, so I wouldn't lose my mind. Oh yeah, see this was so cure. That's out of the range. But that's far but it's still okay. Yeah, but like it's still okay. Yeah, that's

what's you know. It's just very like this is such an everyday lesson and just I mean for me personally, just the anxiety of it, you know, like saving it up's gonna say seven words at eighteen months? Um, can we go around and say if there's any advice that you would have for I know, I know it's high pressure.

It can be multiple things of just like whatever you would want to say, either about milestones or about anything that you wish you had known in the first year and change of your kid's life, or you as a doctor, Like yeah, I guess for me, I would just remind parents that it gets easier. It does, it does. I mean, it's still, of course, I'm sure it's always hard. I'm sure you can attest to that. But for me, the first the first year was for sure. I mean, and talk to me in like two years and we'll see

how I feel. But if it was really really challenging, but you feel like it's easier for you now than it was when she was within that year mark, that's great to hear. Now that she can like sort of communicate and she can walk, and she sleeps through the night and you know, and she's relying on the regular food and she's had she has teeth now, so I know that she mostly can like chew everything up and um, and she's had her fair share of colds, which scared the crap out of me. And now I don't get

quite as freaked out. So I guess it's just like I just have a little less anxiety and I'm not so freaked out about you know, germs and this, and I mean, I'm still definitely like have my share of no but I think my my Duela, who was on the UM was a guest on one of the episodes, Rebecca Benetti. She says, your mom muscle has got stronger, Like you know what I mean, It's just a muscle that you didn't have before. And in the first year it's really tested and you do a lot of reps.

You have a better handle on it all, and you just yeah, so it just gets just trust that it gets easier and you can do this. And we're all on our own path, but we all can support each other and and understand the challenges and the and the winds as well. Yeah, Jamie, that was beautiful. She is going to a beautiful and inside out everybody. Come check her out and waitress the musical on Broadway. She's playing

Jenna as well as Katie Loves. I feel like to go back to the phases thing we always say, now everything is a phase, the good stuff and the bad stuff, like this too shall pass, like because undoubtedly there's like a new habit, like now she when she is done eating. We've taught her. I tried to teach her a bunch of sign language words. The only one that's really caught on is all that on the podcast can see like

she does this. It's kind of like jazz hands. It's sort of a form of like she kind of starts clapping for herself, like all done. But right before that because when I realized she's getting close to it, I have to move fast because she starts throwing the food off the tray and it's like everything, We'll just she's done, get it off the tray. I'm done. So that's when I'm like all done and food too. Throws food like unbelievable.

But we we look at each other and we kind of laugh and we're like, in two weeks from now, this won't be a thing. Everything that's a thing was only a thing so briefly, and then it's either we taught her not to do something, but in most cases they just sort of grow or phase out of it and then you're onto the next thing, you know, Like when she was teething. We're in sort of a weird break from teething. I feel like there's probably more coming

too soon. Great, but for a while, it was like she wakes up every night at the same exact time and like screams or head off, and it was like, when is this phase is gonna be over? And so I think that in some ways, right now, while I'm with all adults, I can say like, that's helped to call me a little bit. Oh my god. I think that's huge to remember, like you're this ship show. You're only in until there's either like a break and a lapse and a joy and then there's like another news

ship show. Yes, so it's sort of just like hang on like whatever is happening, like hang on like the next like good thing will come. That's great. It reminds me so much of my labor because I was like my mantra was when a contraction would come, would say, I would say, this is only temporary. This is only temporary, over and over again until it would pass, and then

I was like, check, please, where is the epidural thing? Much? Um, that's hugely helpful, Jamie and a good or both of these are very good reminders to me and Danielle Um. I'm gonna say the non pediatrician thing and say, take care of yourself. A lot of snapping for that. We're makeup to your point. Now, take care, take care of your relationships. Oh god, snaps. Lord is pressuring me to go away with him and leave the baby. Go away with your husband and leave the baby. You gotta do it.

It's huge you gotta do it because because it passes, as you said, and when it's gone, you're still yourself. So you you and you're you still have hopefully have your relationship, which hopefully is still there. Um. But I think it's really important because I do see the kind of the good, the bad, and the ugly in the office of stuff when when mom's put too much into their children. And obviously you can't put too much, but you can forget about yourself, and it really is important

to take care of yourself. I just got it's so hard, so hard, it is. It's so are to like make the time for yourself to go to a workout class, never even heard of it, take a shower. If they're gonna be crying when you get back where they won't be crying, great, and you'll be guilt of like if you have a free moment or whatever, you're like, well,

I should I should just be with my baby. Like it's so like I mean a date with Adam, yeah, right, like like especially like on this Broadway schedule, it's like we get one day off a week, so I make sure that the date consists of a dam and I putting the baby to bed. But like, I mean, it's like, but again, this is a phase, phase, and at the end of the day, I'll be going to grow up and you'll be you and Adam will have this This could be a whole other episode because my am my, um.

I think someone said my. I love my sister in law. We're very, very close and she's a incredible mother. But they have this joke about her husband. It's like he's always like, well, they're gonna leave and then you're gonna be It's just gonna be me and you, honey. And she's like, oh my god, Like what a reality. You're like, oh crap, there. I mean, if we do our jobs and we do a great job, these babies are going

to leave and they're going to be independent. And these milestones of school or getting a job or moving out to the goal and these real big milestones, these life ones that they will remember, will be them growing up and growing out of us. And then and then he wouldn't go. My children went to sleep away camp this summer two weeks and three weeks and it was like, oh, you're still here. I should probably do something. Oh my god, this has been so wildly helpful. That was a wonderful

tip of advice Danielle. Thank you, um, Danielle and Jamie and Nicolette. I cannot thank you for your wise words and making us laugh because really that's also very important. UM. Thank you so much you guys for tuning into Katie's crib and talking about milestone. I U I do