Finding Your Inner Mama Bear w/ Whitney Port

and a lot of baggage comes with that. There are so many expectations for what kind of mom we're supposed to be like based on society and culture and our relationship with our own moms and our own mother figures. And it is wonderful and scary and super exciting journey. Yes, and it will probably well, it's never gonna end. We

know that this journey isn't we're gonna end. So we're gonna talk about the ideas of maternal instinct, like finding your inner mama bear and asserting yourself as a new mom and then a mom that's like not so new, You're just a mom, that's your new identity out in the world. Whitney Port is here today to talk about this and her own experiences as a first time mom. Welcome to Katie's cripor I am a huge fan. Thank you.

The Hills in the City may have been the first reality television show my husband and I really sunk our teeth in. Really, I watched so many reality TV. I mean I used to when I was younger, and I still do now. So it's funny that I actually ended up on a reality TV show. Like I got a whole podcast for a hundred hours. My husband's like, why are you talking about mom? Shit? Can you just talk about The Hills in the City and with the Port.

I can't believe right now as much as you want, seriously, but I have a real thing with reality where like I guess because um, I just they always used to make fun of me at ABC scandal events, like when the Bachelor and Bachelorette were there, I would lose my ship. It's like it's like Brad Pitt could be there and

I wouldn't give two ships. But like, oh my god, like a reality television like that is a superstar to and I watch you and you're in my living room and I like know who you are as a person, but I kind of don't. Yeah, there's like a weird level of intimacy you have with these people where you feel like you know them, so I feel the same way. I mean, I remember seeing someone from h on TV

is the challenge you watch that show Real World? Okay, so I ustill watch that chow but forever, And like I remember seeing someone that was like a show staple and I've freaked out. I was like, oh my god, I would so much rather be seeing this person and go up and going up and say eye to them than like, you know, Kate Blanchet or yeah, like that's okay, Like I maybe want to see what her skin looks like, but like other than that, I'm never going to go

have a conversation. Yeah, you and I actually have we both have suns, yes, and they're kind of the same age. Yeah, pretty much. Let's go back in chimes to um when you were pregnant, Like how did you feel about becoming a mom? Were you excited? Were you scared? You? Was it something you always wanted to do? It was not something that I always wanted to do, but because my husband really wanted it and I kind of like I thought I wanted it, we just decided let's go for it.

But I didn't really realize like how fast it was going to happen, even though I understand science and biology. Um, Like, I went off my birth control and thought in my head, I was like, oh, six months a year, like I have some time. Literally within two months, I was pregnant and I was just like, I was shocked. I was scared. I was like, is this even what I really want?

And honestly kind of scared to even tell my husband that because we had made the decision together already, so it was kind of too late for me to just go back on it, especially when he was the one that found the stick that said I'm pregnant and I saw his eyes light up, and so, yeah, it was. It was really really intense for me, like really throughout my whole pregnancy, it was the whole you were You were nervous, you didn't know if this was what you were I kind of had a similar situation where I

just was so I was scared too. My husband wanted it. I was like, I mean, I guess, you know, and I sort of left it in fate's hands and it was I was so I was completely terrified. Um, did you enjoy your pregnancy? Like did you have a good pregnancy? Were you did you did the ten months of being pregnant. Was that enough time for you to wrap your brain around it or was it like not until you met your son? So I actually hit me. It wasn't until

I met my son that it hit me. I also chose not to find out if it was a boy or a girl. Oh my god, how cool. So it was really cool, but it also created this level of like the unknown where I couldn't I wasn't attached to it because I couldn't picture it. We didn't have it like the name. So part of me feels like, wow, it was really fun and a fun surprise, and like maybe I do it again if I do decide to have another kid. At Also, I don't know, like maybe I did a disservice to myself to not have Like

I tried to connect with you, you weren't. I was. So I found out the sex um mostly because I wanted a girl so bad. Did yeah, and I didn't care great. But then when I saw the boy come out, I saw his bright red testicle, I was actually like so relieved, like I was really like, oh my god, kind of thank god. And that's when I knew I'm like that I obviously wanted a boy, but I didn't know. Yeah, I opened up an envelope that he was a boy, and I started sobbing, and I was like, oh shit,

I really wanted a girl. So I was kind of relieved I found out only because I was able to change the narrative and start imagining what life would want, my family will look like with a son. Yeah. I had a friend that decided to do a gender reveal at a baby shower, at her baby shower, and she was like, she was set that she was having a girl. She was convinced she was having a girl. And they did the gender reveal and it was a boy. And she just started crying in front of every in front

of all her friends and fans. And we have not yet seen in a film, and let it be said here that it should be that she was mortified. She felt awful. Um, okay, now here comes your son. Yes, how were your first few months? Did you connect? I know you said maybe in pregnancy you were and his connected right away? Did you connected to him? Was it a more of a slow burn? Did you feel that's sort of maternal? Did have you always been a maternal person, Like do you have nieces and nephews or dogs like

you know, in different ways. It's interesting because I really haven't been a maternal person ever I had. I'm one of four, well, I'm one of five kids. Four of us are girls. I would say my three other sisters are extremely maternal, and whenever I'm with them, I feel like they're always taking care of me, Like I forget I'm the kind of person that, like, are you in the line the sister? Um, everyone has just always been looking after me. And so I've never naturally had that

maternal instinct. And I think that's part of subconsciously what I was scared of was like, was I ever going to have that? And what I ever really connect with sending on that level that most people do, never had pets. Um. I love my nieces and nephews, but I'm not the kind of person that goes out of my way to like see them or by the gifts or you know

what I mean. That's just not me. But I love that this is like because I do feel like there are a lot of women in the world who are just like you know that I have a lot of really good girlfriends who were just like they're just like not really the maternal people. Yeah, And like I do maternal things to sending, like I'm very conscious of what he's eating when he's eating, like I never want him to be hungry, and never want him to be cold,

like I never want him to be ignored. There's obviously things that I think are maternal, but on like a large scale, I would not classify myself as a very maternal energy, would you say that? Um? Going back to this question, do you feel connected to him right away? Yeah? I didn't. I mean, okay, now I shouldn't. So my first when I first was with him in the hospital for the first couple of days, I felt extremely connected to him. I was like awake every second, staring at him,

like his livelihood just consumed me. And then I went home and I started to have all these issues with breastfeeding, and I had a night nurse too, and I kind of was like, can you just deal with him? Like I had similar that was very similar to my experience you had, so I it was excruciatingly painful to breastfeed. UM. I resented the time with him because it mostly meant that I needed to be feeding exactly, and I was

just like I just couldn't. I couldn't connect because it was sad and upset exactly exactly planing down the minutes to when it was time to feed again, and you were almost like oh no, no, no no, no, no no, like I don't even want this to come exactly, like I just kind of wanted to escape, even though I did have I had crazy thoughts like of of what could possibly ever happened to him, Like I went, you know when you sometimes think like the craziest, well, you're

literally insane, your hormones are rage. Yeah, so you've just gone through a physical trauma on like anything you've ever done, and then you're just supposed to be okay, like the craziest crazies. I was like, I'm on a plane leaving starting a new life. I was like, pee's the funk out, I'm not doing that. Yeah, I'm getting on a plane. I was like in scandal Land. I was like, I'm

going to Europe. I'm getting European boyfriend. My vagina will heal. Yeah, I'm just ever mystery, my name, who I am, where we come from? Yeah. It was but then thoughts also of like things happening to him that were so scary, where I would reassure myself that okay, I do really love him and and want him my baby because I am so scared of these things happening um, which is a crazy thought that like that doesn't just come naturally.

So it really wasn't until I stopped breastfeeding at six months that I feel like I could really connect with him um and more around that time, like ten months, when they actually start really responding personality and not it just being like me giving, giving, giving all the time and getting nothing in return. And like even now I struggle with that a little bit, Like I feel like I will really thrive as a mom when I can

actually have conversations with him. I say this to people always be like upset about oh my husband is not great at this or not great at that, or my partner is not great at this, or I'm not great at this, And I say, well, you know, I think everyone's going to excel at different moments, Like some people might be so obsessed with babies and some people might be so obsessed with all and then some people are going to kick ass with teenagers, like they're going to

be really good at like sitting down and navigating some fucking difficult emotional development. Totally, totally, I think it's like, yeah, and it's also the physicality of being a mom that are you, I'm not. He doesn't really want to cut up with me very much. Like he's a very busy boy, Like he's yeah, he's not like a super cuddly guy, but I just more mean like the like getting him in the car seat and carrying him everywhere and like chasing after him, and you know, all that's keeping him

busy all the time. Like I just get so worn out from that. It's exhausted. It's like, I mean, I don't know. I'm sure there's exceptions to the rule, but I think you and I, like we are both with

toddler boys and it is fucking full on. I'm just trying to little baby girls and they come over a lot in this play room that we're currently sitting in, and the girls will and I want to do a podcast about this, but there are just gender things at this age, you know, where little girls can sit with one toy for a minute, and like my son is flinging ship like nobody's business, Like it's unbelievable, and just like always in a new area of the house, like

running around all over the place. It's yeah, we just took him to Mexico this past week. I mean, it was honestly your whole life. I had nanny's that we that helped us out so we could get out to go to dinner and see, that's so I want to talk to you about that, Like maternal So there are maternal women, you would say, who would even be like nervous about leaving their child with the hotel name. My mother would be like, we can't leave the baby with somebody.

Just my mom said, so you don't have that, No, I'm completely cool with it. I'm like, yeah, I just have. I'm not really scared of that stuff. Like I'm the kind of person that doesn't like forget, doesn't set the alarm in our house even though we need to. Like I'm I'm it's not good. My mom is very scared by how trusting I can be, and same with my sisters.

But she was like, so I understand you. You're maybe going to get some help while you're in understand Mexico, but like, are you going to have a nanny around the pool too, or is it just going to be you guys watching him around the pool. And I was like, first of all, i didn't even really think about that.

And secondly like maybe like she she can probably swim, and you know, like it's just I am very very trusting, and I think that because I'm that way, Sonny is able to just like be with anyone at all times. How great is that? It's very freeing for me. Is your husband you're married? Yes? Is your husband super maternal, cuddly vertaker Larry, um, mama bear? Have you very much? So so he might outweigh a little bit of your Yes.

He takes like he can be with Sunny for like ten hours straight and not complain about it, or I'll be like, I have worked tomorrow. You know, we don't have anybody to look after Sunny. Are you going to be okay? He's like, yeah, of course. I'm like, oh god, if I like if I just I know this sounds awful, but I just can't be with him, like I just

learned this. I think I've talked about it. We just did an episode on the podcast with Entrepreneurial Moms, which you are one of you talked to you about your business, um, one of your many businesses. You do a lot of different things, but it was a whole podcast about moms who um started businesses when they got pregnant with small babies that were super successful, and I was talking to them about I just learned, Like I said, my nanny was sick for five days. I was a stay at

home mom for five days. I can't my entire life. It was misery. I mean, oh god, it's so dramatic. There's really going on in the world that of someone's very small, limited perspective, But um, I just mean, like, it's the hardest job in the world. I've never looked so tired. I've never felt so tired. And what I said to my husband after those five days, I was like, are we have to make enough money as a living to be able to always have someone helping with our kid?

Because I get so much out of my life from walking and I'm such a better mom when I when i'm his mom. That's the big thing is that I feel I feel guilty about complaining, but it's like I can't, I can't deny that. This is how I feel like. We cannot shut that out. And it's also okay to want to do both things and maybe even one a little bit more than the other. Doesn't mean you love your kid any less. You love your kidlets like less than your work, but like you just have to figure

out a way where you can feel equally filled. But I completely agree, Um, did you ever have a moment where like a mama bear has any sort of mama bear? I know you're not the most maternal person, which I love and I think is a very valuable perspective to listen to on this podcast, because I think I have a lot of mom friends that are similar like I'm I kiss my son weight like it is too much

like it I'm smothering. It's that. And then I have girls that are just like, that's not the language with which they communicate with their son and it's beautiful and valid and wonderful. Um, and they had no they just weren't a maternal instinct. Is not something I would ever describe them in the dictionary. But you can still be a mom and totally give me an amazing mom It's

just not in my nature. I mean, and I smother him too, but it's there's so many different like, there's so many different layers of being maternal totally, and I think that there's like you do you think, Um, I think that I just always want to like just set him up for success, like I always want him to be Here's how you show it, how you said you already kind of said, You're like he always has to be fed. He has to have the right clothing on for the for the weather. That's important to you. Totally.

He's never hungry. He needs to have like this weater on right, like like I need him to have a certain amount of like activity like one on one time with me, activity outside, Like I'm always thinking about his day and that it is full and how he can be happiest. What makes him happiest? Yeah, um, can you tell me about what I think already asked this, but again, like have you ever had like a mama bearancing where

you just we're going to fucking kill someone? Because the first time that came out and me, I was shocked because of something that they did to see it or like, um, for me, it was the first time. Um again, I didn't really feel very I it took me a long time to feel connected to my son. And I think similarly in your case, I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding for a long time. I was so painful, um, and I was crying a lot, and I didn't know why.

And I'm a generally happy, like last half full person, and I was not waking up on that side of the bed and so it felt very much not like myself for a long time. But I can remember when I went back to work and I watched my nanny, who is like my fucking soul mate through this fire

that through right now and I love so much. But the first time and I've told you this so I'm not talking about you, Miriam, I love you, um, but the first time I ever watched him give him a bath, I thought I was going to like hurt her, Like I just was so like, please don't touch my baby. He's like, this is not your department, this is mine off of him and it was just something primal fucking cave woman ship that I was just like, WHOA Like I never feel I'm never like a violent but I've

never hit someone. I never been hit like I I'm just not a violent person. But I had, like I've had it a few times when things were really new and people's first my first were being done by somebody

else where I was working. My husband had it come out the first time he ever tried ice cream was also and I thought my husband was going to fucking kill someone because my husband's favorite dessert that goes back to his family, like they've had a igh scream every night with his dad and it's like a major Shapiro tradition.

And we got a text message from Miriam that was a photo of Albi and Central Park having a vanilla ice cream cone with Miriam and he never tried ice cream before, and I I thought Adam was going to cry. He's only cried three times in thirteen years. But he was like that was my experience, Like it was crazy

that I haven't had moments like that. I've had moments like because he's at school now and like there's a little girl that will hit him or people that won't share with him, like little kids where I'm like, yeah, like I wish that I could just like, you know, get your kid in line, Yeah, don't touch my exactly,

like go discipline like go. But other than that, no, I haven't had a moment where I'm like, I mean, thank God, Yeah, I mean no, it's definitely coming um and maybe it will feel I think we're going to be walking through this together. And how crazy and hard it's going to be. But like the first time your kid gets his feelings her, I'll die, which is a term we should you know is normal and healthy and you need to get pushed down in order to learn

how to get back up, and it's very important. But like, how heartbroken? I mean, I'm going to freak olfre you know, I know, I know I can't imagine that. I cannot seeing him cry because he has his feelings hurt, Like right now he only cries because like he doesn't want to go his diaper change. You know, it's going to be so complex. Do you feel are you a mom that I have moms that when their kid cries, they're like, it's fine, it's finely toughen up or does it break

your heart? Do you feel? No? I don't. It's honestly, when if I feel like he's in pain or something, then that breaks my heart. But if he's crying because he's in a bad mood and he just as being like a sad, I'm like, it's okay. Like I I've tried to teach him this deep breath thing then I think comes through down um. But yeah, like he had temper tantrums yet he not bad. No, not bad. He's

just like impossible to take anywhere. Like he if they go to go to the market with him, he won't he doesn't want to sit in the grocery car and he like does that like that like strange exactly, like don't like scream and I'm going to do that when they decide they don't want to be in the car seat anymore. Yeah. I have those moments with him, but nothing where like he's on the floor crying hysterically in public. Great, my kid has a He just starts hitting his hat

on the floor. He goes down to my sister used to that, going like this and crying, being super dramatic. It's insane, and I just let him do it, ride it out, like yeah, fine by me. Basically, what we're talking about is discovering your identity as a mom, you know, Like we're talking about all these different sort of things that moms either have had for a long time, like I've always been a touch of wheely person, or you're not or you're someone that Mama bear is like a

real thing for you, or you're not. Um. A lot of times people talk about being a mom in a negative or an uncool way like mom jeans or mom hair or like I remember when I was pregnant and I, Um, I was so freaked out about getting a shorter haircut, even though it's like what I wanted to do, but I was like so scared about looking like a soccer mom. Like I just was like, all of a sudden, it became all about the fucking haircut and I was so

freaked out. Mom is like such a was my favorite cut I've ever had, And the whole time I was like, oh my god, like we're never gonna have sex again. Uh. Your amazing company, Bundle Organics, which I want to talk about. Um, it's a business that's pushing back against this idea. Now you're someone in the spotlight who is very beautiful. Thank you, and um you have always been a part of like

fashion and photographs and people are looking to you. Did you have any sort of identity or mom shift or worry that like, oh my god, I'm going to be a mom now people aren't going to think I'm sexy or how I battle that stigma. I definitely thought that. I mean I thought once that you once you become a mom, everyone just only sees you as a mom, and that's when I feel like I walked into any room it was just like, oh, here's the new mom. But that I think goes away if you will take

that like label off yourself. Like I think that comes from within of us saying like, let's change the narrative in our own brains and figure out how to see ourselves as sexy and cool other things besides mom and that. Like I did this thing on my Instagram where it was like hashtag what I wore because I was getting into this terrible phase where I was literally succumbing to my exhaustion and not putting myself together, wearing disgusting sweats

every day, like even walking out of the house. In that I mean, I'm kind of doing it today, so I shouldn't really say I'm out of it. My like my millennial it's like sort of champion shirt with cherries on it. It's so cute. Yeah, I saw it from my younger sister, so, um, so I decided what I wore. Yeah, so I just said, I was like, I'm giving myself thirty days to like each day put myself together because I love fashion. I really do love putting myself together.

I think it's not a shallow thing. I think it can be looked at. It's like a way to express your personality. And so I did that and I did feel so much better about myself afterwards, and I like reconnected to who I was before I was just a mom, and I think people saw that from me as well, and like now I can get ready and I do feel sexy. I mean there's part of me that's like do sometimes I think that people see me in a different way, Like am I as sexy as I was before?

And then I'm like, doesn't really even matter? I mean I hope not. Yeah, I mean I felt the same way, like like audition. You know, I'm so fortunate that I've literally only worked for women bosses for a good eight years.

So I don't really know, but I hear about this other sort of Hollywood where like, yeah, like if you were going to be considered for like sexy parts, like you better not be a fucking mom or have like responsibilities like that or But I think that that is changing because I think that everybody I don't know, I think being a mom is like kind of a quote like trendy thing now, and I think that was like a young, stylish, cool mom is like on trend and you look at these women who would like the Res

Witherspoons or the Kate Hudson's, like, oh my god, they have like twenty year old children right right, And I think there was an example. Great. Yeah, I stopped also following people that were a lot younger than me because I felt like that was really detrimental, like good I was following. I'm sorry. I love Jihadid, I love Bella. I think these girls are gorgeous. Kendall Jenner blah blah blah.

I think they're all gorgeous. But I think I was looking at them being like why, like I want to look like them, and it made me feel and I'm like, but they're also fifteen years younger, so that here on their like going on their forties birth This is what inspires like that, Like, Okay, Busy Phillips was on this podcast and she is a very good friend and she has her forty birthday coming up, and I've known Busy for fucking fifteen years. She looks better and hotter and

sexier than she's ever looked. And I'm talking like in shallow ways, but also her brain and her mind like life experience. I love following her or I love following just these women that are like Addesley Cabral was on this. She just had her forty birthday. She looks amazing and she's a kid. Um, but I find it better. And I think social media is fucking huge, was a huge

in your industry and mine. Um, But to follow these women who are like looking better than they've ever looked, and they're celebrating their like forty fifty birthdays and they're with their kids and they're like in bikinis, and you're like, holy shit, like, oh my god, I'm not just going to dry up dead somewhere and a totally totally is your body completely different than what it was before you had a baby, Like people say, not better or worse,

but like things are in different places really weird. I have found that, Like I used to hate my ass, and now it's not. It's fine. Now it's my stomach. Yeah, because you shifted it from one I guess I'm negative to another, I guess, but like no, I yeah, I mean I used to love my boobs. I used to think I had great boobs. I think my husband thought I had great boobs. Now he refuses to tell me that they're not that they're not the same, but they

are not the same. You married the right, Yeah, he's like, I can't tell. I'm like, but there's so much like they're not as fully three D. Yeah. And then also, I mean there's like, my belly button really bothers me like that. I think it's so shallowed to even say that allowed. It's a ridiculous thing. But my belly button is like that big and like gross, And I'm just like, is there anything I can do for that? Yes? There is if it ever bothers you that much, it really is.

But um, and I support women and whatever they want to do to make themselves feel better always. But I'm also brought to this story of Busy Phillips because we were at a pool party and this was years ago, and she was in a bikini, and there was another actress there who had also had two babies, and um, did not get this sort of stomach skin that some women get. Um, And Busy was in a bikini, and I'll remember for the rest of my life she was

like fucking shredding around. Bless her for being so confident, using and beautiful. She looked great, but she was like in a bikini and she was just like I pushed sucking two babies out with out drugs. I'm so proud. And I just was like, I pray. I like that you have that confident Like I just I mean, I gave up bikinis in high school. But before you, oh my god, by Like it's just every year something else goes, like I'm close to letting go of tank tops altogether. Hate.

I don't care. I've never been into tank tops, terrible. Love a sleeve like the rest of your arm looks super slender. Tell me about bundle organics and how you battle or take any of the stuff into consideration. Um, well, is actually something that like not only has your identity shifted as a mom and you're battling this sort of like I'm a mom and I'm hot, and I'm a business owner and I work with businesses and I'm also going home to my kid and I'm a working mom.

Yeah now you're actually working with like mom products, right, Yeah, I mean that's also another thing. It's like, oh am, I just now like a mommy blogger and I'm like, no, I shouldn't think of it that way. Like I'm just talking about what's actually going on in my life, so it doesn't really serve me to put myself in like

a box. But Bundle was born out of just a need to fulfill women on like a nutritional level, because our lives are so insane and sometimes the last thing that we're thinking about is what we're putting in our body, when really what we're putting in our body is like one of the most things, because we're fueling ourselves for the energy that we need to deal with all this craziness.

So Bundle started as a pasteurized juice and tea company, because when you're pregnant, you're not supposed to drink pasteurized. So we were like, how can we, like, let's create something that's pasteurized, but it's still is like low and sugar, has nothing added, like organic everything. I didn't know. So we we did that and and then we got acchoired. We were in Target. We got acquired by a larger company that's based in Boulder that is really devoted to

providing clean products for the home. They do snacks, they do cleaning products, and so they acquired Bundle and created this whole line like twenty four products of snacks, and teas and bars and bites, um and like smoothie powders and like fizzy drink mix, all with like organic amazing ingredients for each specific phase of like pregnancy that you're in, so like the first phases fertility. So we give you, like let's say you're really nauseous, like the ginger bump,

start tea. That's like acid in it too, like it has things that your prenatal vitamins would have in it. Um. So yeah, so that's bundle. It's there's tea, So teas. Juices are right now they were being really expensive to produce, so we're finding new manufactured for those. But there's tease, there's protein powder for smoothies, fizzy drink mix. It's basically like an emergency but you just pour in water, ums, bars and bites. What are the The bites are delicious?

I should have I can't wait. I mean make it. I'm excited. They're so delicious. I was like so annable and all about all the flavors. There's like white chocolate, almond, um ken waksh you really passionate about this sort of I'm just such a snacker, Like I just need snacks in my life at times in order to just survive, and especially as a mom. And so yeah, I just feel passionate to be able to provide that for other people because it's so simple, something so simple you can

give it to your kid too. It's like sozing, I can't eat anything in front of a kid without him then asking. So if I knew that it was something that was also safe healthy nutrition, nutrition, because you don't want to just give them. I mean, if if Sonny was starving and there was a kind barling around, like, I'd give him a kind bar but this, you know, Like, Um, So I started working with Bundle when I was in my first trimester, a second trimester of pregnancy. So it's

been like almost it's been two years now, two amazing. Yeah, I'm really excited about this. Um. Can you tell me? Um, going back to this like mom identity stuff, did you ever breastfeed in public? No? Yeah? Was it because you're stopped? I stopped breastfeeding after a couple of weeks and exclusively pumped, oh, because it was too painful for me and the pump felt better. Um. Granted, the pump was awful because I got mastitis three times because it doesn't like drain you all.

But um, I never I never breast fed in public because I just never I stopped breastfeeding. Yeah, I breast fed in public all the time, and you didn't, and you felt, Okay, well much thanks to this podcast, because I was really weirded out by the whole thing, which I wish I wasn't. But I'm being completely honest with you because it's so not weird, not you know, like it's so I also imagined we were so no it's amazing, and I wish we lived in a country where it

was so accepted. I I have images of like French women just fucking tied out everywhere. But like I I also just felt, you know, when I go out in public, people talk about me in point anyway because they're Scandal fans. So I just felt like it was like just an extra layer of like, Okay, now, Scandal fans are going to see that I have a dark color right right now, and I just like, I don't know what I'm doing.

But then Kristen Bell came on the podcast and was like, so fucking I am a woman hearing me were like, she just breastfed fucking everywhere. Zero ships, and I was like, good for you. It was the inspired She's a good one for you to follow to. Okay, she's amazing, amazing mom, she have two kids, are one kid to um but very inspiring. But that really helped me. Yeah, it's it is really inspiring to see other people that you admire.

Two things like, it's not just like it's it's not just because we feel insecure and we only will do what other people are doing. But it's just what gives me that like that extra push to do it. Have you found yourself being more assertive since you're now a mom? Has it changed you in your work? Yeah? I just have more I have less patience with little things. I'm like, i feel like I'm shorter on email. I'm like, let's just get to the point or let's just get this done. Yeah,

it's amazing. Should be a lot of things into perspective. I don't want to go back and forth a million times. I want to just be like, this is my worth and if you that's not that great, no, fine, if not, because I my time is like deprecious. Yeah, yeah that is very true and I feel the same way. Can you talk about a specific time when you felt like you were changing as a woman, may be standing up for yourself for speaking out in a way that you

wouldn't have before becoming a mom. Maybe it's maybe this sort of situation where like someone asks something of you which I actually was going to bring up. And I don't know if you felt like this. I'm getting the vibe that you were before being a mom. Would you have sent emails and something that like a lot more people please go back and forth, always like giving reasons

for everything. This is me too. Yeah, So I was very much like that, and I just wanted to like always do a good job, and I cared so much about what other people thought of me, and I just wanted to be known as like the nice, agreeable person. And I really ran into this after Sunny when we started filming The Hills again and they wanted me to

hold production. Wanted me to hold um Tuesday through Saturday every week, just completely hold it, not book anything for three months, five days and without any like I wouldn't know until the night before what my schedule was. And I was like, I I want to be able to do this for you guys, because you're paying me and I'm a part of the show, but like I can't.

I just can't be that flexible. And so I really started to push back with that, and then I felt like I was being difficult, like I was this difficult brat and that with that is hard for me to to like think yeah, I and not know if they're valid, you know, like is that too much to ask to know your schedule? No? I mean it's like how far in advance should I is realistic for me to get that? You know? I just those are those are things now

that I'm like that I struggle with. And you put your foot down and you are exploring more about being exploring and you're exploring I mean the exploratory phases like and I think it would be harder for me, Like again because I've worked for women for eight years. Um, you know, they came to me and here's your trailer for your son, and I was like, I get that, here's the Shondalan kids playroom. I get that, Like I wouldn't.

I think I would have been pressured and pushed to have to stand up for myself more and for my son for my new role as well, more than I've had to. UM, but it's important that you do those things because those producers the time they're working with the mom, hopefully they're going to think and say, oh, ship, like we might have to work a little bit harder to get her schedule in advance, do you know what I mean?

Like you have to make those moves and you have to make those waves even though it might not sit right with you that someone's going to think you're more difficult than you used to be or time is different, but you know, we have to think about those little fifteen those girls that are fifteen years Yeah, exactly what they're going to be doing. Their candle is going to be fine. They're gonna be fine. So on this, on this same sort of theme that you're providing so many

great resources for moms out there. Are there any resources, um that you use? Are their apps? Um? Books that you like? One thing a TV show, something that really helped you with your identity or or helped you with your son or so I I didn't really read anything very much. UM. The one thing, the one person that I think has been the biggest savior for me is this sleep consultant. Her name is a Lana m Again, and she runs a good Night's Sleep site And I

started working with it. She reached out to me just via social media when I was starting to wonder when I should be sleep training and figuring out schedules, and so I started working with her. And I have listened to everything she's told me to do, and I have like a magical sleeper. Yeah, and it's huge. It was like everything for me. Um. I felt like I could figure out everything else, but sleep is such a science and I need it, like I really need it, and so I needed to figure it out. Um. And that

that has been really instrumental for me. Yeah. Other than that, like I have also my mom used to be toldler transition teacher at a temple bishop of our temple, and so it's like the phase before nursery school. They go to a class for six months like a toad mommy, and exactly exactly, so she taught that and she has she taught out with this partner. Her name is ZeVA,

who's a child development specialist. And I meet with her also like every couple of months since she takes a look at sunny and she just like reassures me of certain things or gives me tips of other things that so, like I've enlisted a certain like a set of experts to help me instead of just like listening to all the noise and social media village, are actually people that know what they're talking about. Yeah, like people that I have,

Like that's why. Yeah, yeah, Like I have people like that wrote the books that I'm interested in helping me raised my son. Last, but not least, do you have any advice for women who may be struggling with their

identities as new moms, or any advice in general? I think the best advice that I was getting when I was having like issues with the breastfeeding and wondering if my life will ever be enjoyable or like if I'll ever read them again, was that everything is really just a phase, and I sometimes the phases are longer than others, so like, don't expect for them to go away overnight or or some phases one phase one and then a worse one will come, like, but just know that everything

is a phase, and that in my opinion, for me, it has gotten easier the older they've become, the more independent and self reliant they are. And I think also accepting help. I think whether it's paying for help, dropping them off at daycare, asking for help, from your family. I think that's so important that we have like solo time, whether we're working moms or not. Like, I just don't think it's healthy. I don't think attachment parenting is healthy

for anybody in the family. Yeah, Whitney Port, it is so nice to meet you face to face in the less. I cannot wait for The Hills to be back on TV. That's right, Yeah, the Hills New beginning. Excuse me, the Hills begin It's ridiculous. I cannot wait to think. I can't wait to crush bundle yea, yeah, because you don't have to be pregnant or breastfeeding. They're they're good no matter what. I just where do you find them online?

So yeah, they're they're bye bye baby online Target and Thrive Market right now, Good on you, Thank you, thanks so much for being on the show. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for listening to Katie's crib. You guys, this is it. This is our last episode of the season. Isn't that crazy? But do not worry. Okay, We're going to be back in a little while with more episodes, because come on, you know it. Honestly, there's so much more to explore, to talk about and to share.

Make sure you're subscribed to Katie's Crib and check us out on shaundalin dot com to catch up on every episode. Oh and follow Katie's Crib on Twitter and Instagram so you're the first to know about season three. Thank you to all of our amazing and brilliant guests this season. Thank you guys so much for coming on the show and for sharing all of your personal stories and experiences.

And thank you. Thank you listeners. Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening, for subscribing, for sharing Katie's Crib with your friends and family. It means so much to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You guys are the best.