Egg Freezing: What to Expect w/ Stefanie Black & Lindsey Kraft

about getting pregnant using a surrogate. I mean, just giving you tons and tons of options. So, guys, I don't even know how to begin, because this episode is two of my bestest, greatest, closest girlfriends of my entire history of my life, Stephanie Black and Lindsay Graft. Stephanie Black and I went to NY you together. We lived together in London. We moved out to l a around the same time. She is my soul sister. We started and run a theater company together. I am a theater company.

And then Lindsay Kraft and I met in New York City a hundred thousand years ago, just auditioning for commercials and not making it, and guess what she introduced me to my husband. We talked about egg freezing, when, where, how, why, fertility specialists, consultations, what are they like, medications, what's the procedure like? We held hands and walked through it, and I learned a lot about egg freezing just through them

being their besties. So I wanted to have them on to talk about it so you know a little bit more about them personally. Lindsay Kraft is an actress, model, writer. She is known for playing Alison on Grace and Frankie. Lindsay's film credits are Epic Movie, Nostalgia, Futile, and Stupid Gesture, and as for TV, she's also appeared on vat, Grays and Frankie, Two Broke Girls, so many others. Stephanie Black

is an actress, writer, director. She's a founding member and court a stick director of By In the Theater Company With Me. She's also an acting coaching on the faculty of John Rosenfeld Studios. She has appeared on This Is Us, Scandal, Graves, Anatomy, Private Practice, and so many freaking more. Lindsay, Stephanie, Welcome to Katie's Crib. Thank you guys, My goodness, do I love you both? This is huge. This is one of the biggest things for women starting in their late twenties

to get real. And this was an option that like our parents didn't have and wasn't like a hot topic. I feel like, I feel like I never heard about this from like my mom or anything like that. Steph, When and why did you start to entertain the idea of freezing your eggs? I think when I turned thirty my amazing oh b G. I n Drriana Walden, who's like the Gift of Los Angeles. She asked if I had thought it out it or maybe I had asked about it. Um. I like to have all the information,

so I was like, I want to know everything. We started that conversation and I kept, you know, putting it off, saying, well, I'll revisit it, you know, at thirty two, and then I'll revisited at thirty five. And I kept thinking, I will figure it out when when it's ready, or I'll meet the person and I won't need to And I kept hoping, like I'm going to meet my prince Charmaine or whatever, and then I won't have to do it.

And so I pushed it and pushed it and pushed it, and at thirty five is when I started really thinking about it. And then I met my now husband, and so I kind of put it to the back burner. But about a year and a half into our relationship, we broke up for a hot second, and that is when I said, Okay, I have to do this right now, and UM put everything into motion and we actually ended up getting back together. And now you're fucking pregnant. Oh and now I'm pregnant and I haven't used the eggs.

That's a whole other car look at back to that. But yeah, gonna get back to that. Okay, Lindsay Kraft, why did you decide to freeze your eggs? I feel like I kept hearing about it for a long time, and I remember the first time I heard about it, I was like who. Like, I was like, that seems like weird, and like for other people like that just doesn't seem like. It just seemed like, how have I gotten this old? I just seemed weird. And you know, I never was one of those people who was like

I must have children. It just never seemed like something I was definitely gonna do. But at the same time options, baby options, I mean, And so I kept kind of putting it off for for so long because but I would feel so much anxiety about it that I basically did it to just reduce the anxiety that I was feeling, which is fucking huge. I remember my O B was definitely like, hey, do you want to consider freezing? How far off do you think you are from having a baby?

And I was like, like really far. I was like, I've not even entertaining the idea, like i just started to be able to pay my bills from acting, like I don't. I have a lot of life. I don't want to do that right now. And she was like, Okay, I think you should consider freezing your eggs. And I did get that you get a blood test. I guess first, right, you get a blood test. But the thing about this blood test because it tests your I want to say this right MH level, which is basically your egg reserve.

But the thing about this, and I remember because I kept asking, I'm like, should I just test that now? And every time she would say, you only want to test it when you're ready to do it, because it only gives you information for like that day, and like a week later, totally different number. Interesting because I remember getting that blood test and it coming back like your eggs suck. And I was like, oh, ship, like this

is really scary. But I ended up doing nothing about it, and and we ended up trying starting to try to have a family earlier than I had originally said. But Steph, how did you find a doctor to freeze your eggs with? Because it's not an O B right, No it's not. No, it's a it's a fertility specialist. Okay. So I started with my doctor. She gave me a bunch of pamphlets, a bunch of places, and she had actually done it and had been very open about that with me, and

so she said this is where I went. But she said this is potentially could be on the higher end cost wise, you know. I was all like, I'm very frugal. I was very much like, what's the least amount of money I can spend to get the highest impact? Well, it's insane. How much does egg freezing cost in the ballpark? Craft?

Do you know? I think you remember? Because there's so many separate like additional prices and just like and at first, I like, my mom offered to chip in my partner offered to chip in, but I was kind of like, I just kind of want to do this on my own. And yeah, I think also freezing the eggs and also do you want to do embryos is like a whole

other thing. I think it's from like twelve thousand to twenty thousand or something, right, Yeah, twelve to fifteen is where I feel like it really sits in it it all honestly, it all to ends on like your ovaries and like how sleepy they are and like how how what it takes to like wake up your follicles. Yeah, because some people have to do multiple retrievals, right, I was like, there's no way I'm doing multiple retrievals. I was like, I'll get what I get and call it

a day. Like, no way. I was sort of just like expecting to get just a couple of eggs. I think I was pleased at the end of the day what I what I had gotten, because I thought it would be less. But I think I remember during the process in the beginning, I was kind of like, oh, well, there's not a lot there, Okay. I wish I had known earlier, but I didn't have the money to get it then, So it's like this weird thing that I

wish somehow. I know there are some places that are, you know, offering it through returns, but I just, you know, because I would have been so much better off if I sort of just did it in my early twenties, because that's when you have the most eggs, and it's sort of like you're doing it. You're doing this really expensive thing later in your life because you're starting to feel like, oh now I feel like there's anyone who I talked to who has the money. I'm like, just

do it. It's a couple of weeks of your life, and then you're done, and then you don't have to think about it. I mean, it's like a joke, but it's like the minute I met her, but like very soon when Sean and I became friends, she was like, what's your deal? Are you waiting at all? Actually, it doesn't even matter. You should just freeze your eggs right now, because the younger you are, the more chance you have

of getting more eggs, which gives you more options. And like that's at the end of the day, what we're trying to give ourselves, right, like more options to make decisions. When we want to versus being have to. Basically, this is a very expensive insurance policy. You're paying a lot of money for peace of mind for time, but it's so worth it. I mean I would have done this at thirty if I had really understood the emotional like

toil that it would take on you. I did it when I was thirty eight and knowing that I was going to get less, and like then talking to friends were younger who were like, oh, my level was like two or something like some real crazy high number, and I was like, mine was like right below two. It was like one point eight or something like your one point nine. So crafty. How did you pick your fertility doctor?

I think you recommended her to me, actually, Caroline and Alexander, who's amazing and was on this podcast and did a whole IVF episode. I'm at the opposite of you, Stephanie a little bit. I'm just kind of like, get me to one. I just want to, Like I don't want to, I don't want to know about options. I just want

to be directed to the best possible person. And I went to one woman and I sort of I was just like I think I had like a free consultation because they're normally like three fifty dollars and you can sort of like pass that on. Like there are like free certificates like everywhere. I feel like there are. I paid like to hundred for each I went to three

different places to meet them and I paid that each time. Yeah, that sucked, Carol, and I just felt a real connection to and I started to think that, like this is a little bit magic. I mean life is crazy, right, like the things that happened to make a life or so nuts. The connection I had with her, She just made me feel really good, was very honest, but also like hopeful. Everyone's different, and I felt like that I had such a calm um experience with her that was

just like very loving and she was so wonderful. And then I heard like such great stories about her after through a bunch of other people, and I was like so pleased with the whole experience. That's awesome. So what questions? If you could both pick a question? Should a woman ask her doctor before egg freezing? Like when you're talking to your fertility person, is there something you're really happy you asked or something you wish you had asked and didn't.

I'll say this. I knew nothing about fertility, ovulation, the whole process, and honestly, trying to get pregnant as well was all quite shaming for me. I'm like to take a pill and forget it kind of person. And I went on birth control at eighteen, and I had not gone off birth control until the first time literally ever, was when I froze my eggs. So that's do the math. I'm not great at math, so almost twenty years um and so I had never really learned. I had never

felt really cramps ovulation. I didn't. I just didn't understand any of it. And so when I went in and I think, I think Dr Peck, Allison Peck is who I went to at hr C Fertility, and you came with me to that appointment. Oh my god, I'll never forget it. I held Steph's hands as she's getting an internal examination, and I'm so proud. The doctor's like, wow, you have such a beautiful uterus, and I'm like, doesn't

she did say that? Are I? In my head, the story goes that I was holding your hand and I your husband, and who and me have seen the insides of your uterus very close up in an ultrasound. What I remember, though, is her telling me that she thinks she sees my eggs because they were all asleep essentially, and she's like, you have suppressed over because you've been

on birth control for you know, almost twenty years. And I remember specifically asking my doctor from thirty to thirty eight every time I'm like, is being on birth control going to affect my ability to get pregnant or freeze eggs? And she kept saying no, no, no, and it's not. It's it's true that it doesn't, but it makes it harder. It means you have to pump yourself with more drugs, which makes it more expensive. But you couldn't really tell how many eggs I had in each ovary that would

potentially wake up. But all that stuff I knew nothing about. So you wish you had known that. I wish I would have known that, because I would have gone off of it for a bit. The good thing about being on birth control was that I was able to say, today's the day I want to do the eggs, like start the process, and my cycle has already syncd up because I'm on birth control. And normally they put you on birth control to get that start date. So I was basically like, I have a four week window here.

I have to do it here or it can't happen. And I was able to do it. I had no information about this. I knew nothing, Like we asked her to draw, like, she drew me a map of a thirty day cycle and how ovulation works and fertility, and I felt so stupid, but I I liked her because she was no bullshit. She wore a Louis Vuitton Fannie pack and she reminded me of kind of the mean girls at summer camp, and I trusted that for some reason. And I was like, I was like, I know her,

like I knew her craft. What do you wish you had asked or did ask that you were happy that you got the information? You know, I was really confused about whether or not to do at freezing my eggs or freezing embryos. So for those people, you can either freeze your eggs by themselves, or you freeze your egg mixed in the petrie dish with the sperm of your

donor or your partner or whatever. Supposedly, embryos have a better chance of being able to impregnate you when you use them, but you have to really like that person or it's sort of that you know the next step already. That's really what it is. So I was like, I think that was my biggest truggle. But I realized for me, why I wanted to do it was for my independence, and I didn't have enough eggs to be like, I'm

going to do some embryos and some eggs. Otherwise it just would have been like put me in the same corner A been in. And by the way, I know someone that only froze embryos and then was no longer with that person and did not use them. So it's like, it's also pretty expensive to do the embryos, Like that's an additional almost ten grand I think you do it so you have to. It's a financial commitment, and it's a commitment. I mean, Alex and I were not really together.

We were kind of starting to get back together once I started the process, but so embryos wasn't was not even on the table because part of what this did for us was it kind of saved our relationship and gave us time we weren't ready to commit to that. It's so funny because I remember Steph calling you, and you gave me a ton of information. I knew nothing like i'd like the neighbors of like doesn't I don't

like like know everything. I'm just kind of just like wanted this, like someone to hold my hand through just all of it. I'm remembering now, like when you talked about her ovaries that's over how beautiful they were. I have literally blocked all of that out. That was the worst part of going in and I'm checking to see how many eggs or what was going on that day. There were some nurses who were not as gentle as others,

and I found that. I remember being like ow. I was like ow ow it, like what what are you? I'm like that hurts me, you know, But well, they're poking you. I mean they really are, Yeah, because they enter your vagininess so many times. Like it's like basically going to the kind of college was every single day to have a whatever that's called. Yeah, it's basically that times a hundred. Okay, it's like every other day they're

doing that. Is that true? Yeah? Once you start the shots every other day you have to go in and they check them to see how they're growing. What is it? The thing that put put a condom on it. Yeah. Oh so for people listening, f y I, it's like a dil Joe. They put a condom on it and a lot of lube. I'm just being descript so that in case you're considering doing this, Like for me, I don't think that's a big deal. But for me, the speculum is like I hate a speculum, but I don't

mind the internal dildo thing. I mean, how had it goes to show you? I mean, I don't know what that means about me. It's quite large. I don't feel like it was. But ha ha, you're welcome, Adam. I remember thinking like, okay, just like try to enjoy this, like try what else am I going to do here? But because I would just like just like taking depressed, I literally have blocked this out. I'm just remembering it now and now like a perhaps there's nothing. I'm like,

oh that's it. So egg freezing. We're saying around twelve to fifteen thousand dollars, do you guys know, are there any ways that these costs can be reduced? Like thinking about the storage fees afterwards? Are there any options where you save money? The consultation alone is like three there there is for the drugs. You can get discounts for the drugs. Lady. That's who I got it from. So people listening go to your ob and say, I really

want to get consultations on egg freezing. Is there any which way, shape or form to get this lest in cost? Because I don't think you can submit even the consultation to insurance. I don't know. No, none of none of it's covered. But the at most places these I want to say the billing department, but I'm not sure exactly what they're. The person is called. You sit down when you're ready to do it, they go over the costs with you. They break it down and there's two things

to look for. One is to look for a place that has a year of storage included because that's a good deal. And they always give you an option of like four years or like seven years or something like that for your storage to like buy the bundle. Also, they're always going to try to get you to buy two rounds because it is cheaper if you do that, but like you know that on yourself, it's up to you. Yeah, I don't know. But then there's like care credits, like

an exam ample of it. But there's places that you can submit your personal financial information too and they will give you basically qualify based on your income level for a discount, and it's usually pretty drastic. It's like a thirty or fifty discount on the drugs. It does not affect the package deal that you pay at that fertility, that doctor, and that clinic that's set and they don't usually do discounts and they don't do um payment plans. Usually have to like pay for it look like a

credit card or cash. So it was great, like I say, you know, I had this discount, so I would get this discount on the drugs. But again, because I had these like sleepy suppressed ovaries, I had to do extra meds, which then all the money I had originally saved up the cost, so mine was more expensive in the end because of all the drugs I had to take. They they suggested like this thing that's like basically a facial for your vagina. Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

Like a date? What do you mean? I think there is a thing like where people go and it's like they just space that we make your ritna really great. You know what I need to have a specialist on in this department to be honest. Well, I remember Caroline said to me, She's like, well, you know, because it's been like so invasive, like we want to give that

to you complimentary. It's something that's I want to say, like, wow, Crafty, can you take us through your egg retrieval process if you can remember any of it that you didn't black out? You know the reason I ultimately did it. I remember I was working on Grays and Frankie and I was talking to June Diane Ray feel about it, and she goes, just do it now, lindsay do it now. And for some reason, you guys know June, Yeah, I would listen

to her. Yeah, he listened to June when she tells because she's like, you're just going to get older tomorrow. For some reason, the way that she kind of painted it, I was like, Okay, I'm gonna do it. I wanna do it. I remember I ended up having to do it while I was working like on a show that I didn't know that I had booked, you know, And so it's kind of like one of those situations. I remember I found out that I had um low thyroid.

My thyroid was low, which is like kind of the opposite what you would think because I wasn't like gaining weight or anything. It felt like it was concerning, you know, and I was like all upset. And so then I had to take medication for like a month to get it back to just kind of get it ready. Oh my god, I don't know about this. What a pain in the ask. Yeah, I don't think it's that big

of a deal. But it's like you have to sort of make sure the thyroid is in good place so that the eggs are as good as it can possibly be. And then like essentially you're getting so much information and they're like, Okay, you need to take this pills, this vitamin, you need to start doing all these different things. And I was like, why can't we get a basket. I was like going to Whole Foods, Erawan, like CBS, like just all over place looking for these like specific drugs

that and it's so specific. The vitamin D has to be this kind of thing and take this kind of pill. This was all for you to have like the best quality of egg and that's why they wanted you to take certain vitamins and supplement to prepare. Yeah, I've never taken a vitamin in my life, like honestly, like I've never like maybe the Flintstone vitamin is like the vitamin I've taken in my life that prep though, those vitamins were I was nauseous every day. I was taking ten vitamins.

I got this really intricate list from the doctor I didn't end up using because she was a little bit more expensive, but she was awesome. She gave me a really specific list and I followed it to a t. And I was just nauseous all day long because all that so many vitamins. It's just like, I know, it's so it's so much fun, and I've got obsessed with also be doing exactly what they said because I was like,

I don't want to funk this up. But at the same time, like they're all giving you sort of different lists. You know that they're slightly different, Like some doctors feel that this is more important, but I believe that it's like each woman, it's probably different, And I find that I think the doctors just give the general lists to each of their patients. You know, I have a real problem with apart because I don't even know if any

of that stuff matters. And it's expensive, like vitamins are like thirty bucks or like a bottle, I mean like a really good one, like it's it's not cheap. Oh, these were like sevent a bottle. So then you go to the doctor and they start you on you pick up the drugs, right, is that like insane? Like what the funk is that you don't go to the doctor

to get them? You have to go to a special pharmacy and like that's a whole other they you leave the pharmacy, Lindy, did you have like these huge crates, huge crates with like ice packs in them that you have to take home? Are you kidding? I had no idea. It's insane. The first one was like a delivery. It is. Honestly, you have to be so well educated to perform what they're expecting you to perform. You have to be a mixologist,

a scientist. I mean, thank god I had Andrew like at the time, like it is so hard, and you're thinking, if I miss this up, everything goes to ship. If you if you spill one of these liquid things, you're pretty you're you're literally why are you doing that? I don't understand, Well, you can go to the office every day, which is what I was going to do. But I was like, it's I think it's a hundred dollars extra every day to go and you have to go for

fourteen days. I mean, it's a crazy there's all these extra expenses. And then you sort of realize, oh, it's doable. You know how sometimes when the first time you hear about something, the first time, it's awful and scary and confusing, and you're gonna suck it up. And then each time, because you have to do it for fourteen days in a row or however long your assignment is, by the end you're like, oh, I can't believe I was even freaked out about this. It's not that bad. Yeah, But

then you do. You don't know how casual you can be about Like I messed up, I spilled something. I remember, step you told me that you had still something. You've freaked out. I remember this, Steph you crying. I had the biggest panic, like total meltdown, because so you have to do it at the same time every day, and the day I was starting, I was teaching, I didn't get home till eleven a talk, so it had to be at eleven o'clock, which mean at eleven pm every night.

I had to do this, which is why I couldn't go the doctor. So I had to do it. They give you videos. I've never used a syringe in my life. I was really freaked out about it. And I did the first one and Alex was with me and I spilled it and I lost it, screaming, hysterical, crying. I was like, this is never gonna work. What am I doing it? I shouldn't even be a mother. This is like I went down the I mean the fucking I

spiral of just lost my ship. And he's just looking at me like you're fucking did save And he's like, okay, I'll do. And he watched the video and he mixed it and then like shot at it and you're putting it into a syringe and then you put the shot into your body every day for fourteen days, three times a day or something. I thought there were multiple times a day. I think no, I think it's just once.

For me, it was just once a day, But then they started adding so that first it was just one that's preloaded, so you just kind of like that sucker in and two seconds. And for people who don't have someone, like, did you guys do the shot yourself or did you have your significant others do the shots? At some point

I was doing it by myself. Say, but yes, if I didn't have a person like it would have been really really upsetting and heart I've been that for other people though, Like I've had a friend who had to do shots for this and I went over and helped. You need to have someone, Yeah, you need to have a friend, but you could also do it on your own, Like it is doable. Even the video is wrong, like

they need to update the videos. I just remember seeing this woman who had like a French manicure and her nail for so long and I was like, Andrew ever rounded five times. I'm like, they're skipping a step. Why is this not in here? But like I just like to do everything exactly right, you know, and and I couldn't. I didn't know how to do that, And sometimes you just don't know if it's right. I want to see a video that says, hey, if you trap it, it's okay.

You should get paid. You should pitch yourself to these fucking pharmaceutical companies. And make a killing on what these commercials should be. I'm just saying, Okay, so you shoot yourself up with this ship. You do all the vitamins to prep crafty fixes her thyroid levels. You pick up trays of drugs and you mix them yourself and you shoot them into yourself for a while, and you're going to the doctor every other day, every other day, and

then they're telling me we need more time. So what I was like counting them on down the days, almost like if you're on a cleanse and you're like, when what is this going to be over? Every day? Feels like it's just like the cleanse, the clans, the cleanse, but this is like a thousand times worse, Like when is this plea is gonna be over? And then I felt like they just kept adding days. I was like, No, what was supposed to be twelve days? What are they

waiting for for your eggs to like have sprouted? They're waiting for the eggs to be a certain size so they can retrieve them. How steph pumping yourself up with this stuff? Tell me about how you felt, where you bloated, where you not just were you tired? Were you able to work? Tell me how you felt. Up until day nine, I didn't really feel anything, and then I got a little bloated, and then I started to I started to get like the munchies a lot. I was like, oh,

I'm feeling like hungry. I felt like I was eating like a pregnant woman, which was weird. But then when I was in those last like three days or so, you start to feel your ovaries and like with every step I would take, you could just feel this over like weighing you down on either side, like I just could. It was very strange sensation. And you're not allowed to work out right because your ovary could like flip. Yeah,

you can't. Your ovaries are like the way they describe it is kind of like, um, they say, it's like having two basketballs hanging by a string. That's how because they gets so big and so delicate. So if you were to work out and do too much, they could flip and then your eggs fall out and they end up and that's very bad, right, So you have to be very like just those two weeks, you have to

be like pretty chill. Craft. How did you feel from all the hormones and shooting up in the I put my um my shots in my stomach, and I just remember feeling really disploated by that. It was very, very uncomfortable for me, Like that was why, just the process of that part. I don't I don't like shooting anything in my body. I don't like extra anything. You know, Now the day has arrived, they finally have said the eggs are big enough, it's time to retrieve. We're here, Steph.

Tell me, Like, you go to the doctor's office, they put you into twilight or something. The one I went to was in the same buildings as the doctor's office I had gone to, So I went there. They say, definitely have someone take you home, so Alex came with me.

I went in. They check and make sure that you know, you're everything's ready, and then you I can't remember if they did like an internal exam or something, but like it's like in the morning and you can't you know, eat before and then they you know, get you prepped with the your I V and all that, because like they put you like it's not twilight, like you're out, you're fully under. But basically you go under and they're like count to five or whatever, and then you're out.

It's like a little vacuum kind of thing. They go in through your vagina and they just like suck the eggs out. Wow, And how long does the whole thing last? Like how long are you out? For? Forty minutes? I think, But it's like a factory. That's what I remember, like seeing it's like so many people going in for this, get out of here what like. I just remember like look like it felt like a move. It felt like defending your life to me. I remember thinking, like everyone's

doing this, everyone's getting there. How are all these people affording this? Like I was just like, this is taking me, like my whole life to get to this point where I'm okay, but spending this much money and the people just like going in going out, And I realized, you know a lot of these people are I don't know if it's like IVF or I'm not. I don't know all about that, but you know, I think so much of it is people who are desperately trying to get pregnant.

I remember still being wheeled into the room where the surgery is and I was like, what the hell was happening here? And then I just like I remember the moment right before I fell asleep. They put a an ivy and that's what I just kept I'm like, this hurts so bad, like because I'm saying, I'm like, I still feel this still today. I still can feel that horrible feeling of ivy, like in your wrist. I'm like, this is the worst thing I've ever filled in my life.

It's called a head block. You have it the whole time you have a baby. If you have a baby in the hospital, it's in there for three days. Were you just like, is this ever gonna stop hurting me? I mean, it sounds like they didn't really get a good It shouldn't bother you like that, Like it shouldn't. It should be uncomfortable for the first like maybe ten minutes,

but then you don't feel it anymore. Really, it was all I could talk about, even when I woke up and recorded a video of me being like, how's think I know you? I'm like, I say, yeah, but like you like, the whole thing is me just like so messed up waiting. Oh, can you please send that to me? I'm dying this is yet. Oh I'm so glad Alex didn't feel that. I just remember waking up and my doctor was sitting there, and he was there and he's like, you're okay, And I was like, what happened? And then

she told me, like how many eggs they got? They're trying to get like ten, right, they want to get ten because with every process you lose like five. So if you get ten, then it means you have about five that are viable. I got six, and I was thrilled with that. Yeah, because they were saying to you there might be three. But sometimes like you can get a hundred eggs and none of them can be viable, like or you can have you can have six eggs and they might all be viable. You only need one,

do you know what I mean? Like that works really there's a little bit of magic involved it of why certain ones will make it. It's like, not only do you have to get a certain you know you're trying to get a certain number. Then they have to be go through the freezing process, then they go through an unfreezing process. Then at a later date they might be mixed with an embryo. Then you have to carry it if you want to carry it or your surrogate carry it.

I mean, there are so many hoops. It's easy that anyone has a baby at all. It's insane. I know, it seems crazy, wild, The whole thing's wild. So they wake you up, they wake you up, and what end right then? And there they tell you. I remember Carolyn like she's like six. I just remembering. I was like, she's like six beautiful eggs, you know, And I felt really good about that, you know, and I was so

glad it was over. I was just like, you know, I'm glad we thought we had I had nine, and then she woke me up and she's like we got eleven and they were all liable, and I was like and I just cried because I was like, oh my god, because I just really thought. I was like, I fucked all this up with birth control for all these years. But then of course the second I could, I went right back on it. So once it's done, are you done? Do you not have to take any more home or

hormones anymore? Or do you have to like taper yourself off? I think you stopped immediately taking them, but but I felt horrible, like for a few weeks after, oh you did, yeah, that blow that there's something about this blow like and I don't ever really feel like that in my stomach. Like for me, it was like a real feign. There was like something crazy happening in my belly. I've done Lindsay Kraft for twentysomething years, and this girl has a

very enviable flat stomach. You're not saying that. I am. She is always no matter where you've been at your life, have a rock hard Oh god, been able to wear low rise jeans and I don't know anyone that can do that. You can wear low rise sweatpants, that's true. You. I've never known anyone toward jeans like you. Yes, that's true.

Oh my god. Your stomach is a fuck ridiculous. So for you to feel bloated or feel something weird, I bet was very different for you, Like it's just not your natural state of being well, injecting all this stuff into your body like that's giving you eggs. Are you glad you did it? Yes? Did you feel relief? Did you feel like it was money well spent? Did you feeling anxiety lesson? Yes? I I feel like I really

did it for the anxiety honestly. But now I'm in the phase of like not to start thinking about it again, like thinking about the next step of it. You know, right, are you going to use them? But it really took away just that like that question even if it's not gonna work, And it was like, Okay, I did my bit in terms of, like, you know, thinking about my future and the possibilities of you know, what kind of life I'm going to have? Yeah, and what about you stuff.

Absolutely it was worth it. I the second after I did it, I told any everybody that I did it, and I was like, if anybody wants to ask me questions, call me. I would be the poster child for this. Like every anyone who is thinking of doing it, do it, do it earlier than I did it, you know, figure out how to afford it. It is so worth it because I I needed that. I needed that peace of mind.

I have had like a battle with time my whole life, and I was so afraid of running out of time, and I wasn't ready because of my age, and because I hadn't done it. It was putting all this pressure on my relationship because my husband is seven and a half years younger than me, and we were not exactly the same place when it came to this, and so for us to have that security and that insurance policy. Basically it meant that that did not have to be

a factor in our relationship. And I honestly think if I hadn't have done it, I don't know if we would be where. I don't know if we would be married right now, Like I don't know if we would have been able to have that kind of ease to to like work on whatever we needed to work on to get where we are now. And it also made trying to get pregnant a little less stressful. I mean, although I was definitely like, I'm not going to use them. You know they're there, but we're never going to use them.

And I'm very lucky that we had we haven't used them yet, but I'm also forty and having my first child, and if we would like to have a second one, you know, there's a there's a good chance that we might need to use them. At least I know they're there. We have this science available to us, and you know, we live in this place where we were like, you can have it all, and it's like, no, you really can't unless you have money and time. Okay, So craft

you're happy you did it. Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and think about the six little little babies that you have. Some I think if they were embryos, I would probably think about them. The whole thing for me was like my own ambivalence, you know. But if you're not ambivalent about having children, you know you want to have children, you should do

this as early as you can. No, but I think you're right if you want to be a mom in your life, if you want to be a mom to a biological baby, which that's not you know, that's not for everyone either. Like maybe you know people who are listening who are like, no, you know what, like I don't really have the money and I'm down for adoption or I'm down for other you know things. But if you're like, I want my egg a baby that way and all the rest is unclear, but I know that,

then it's like, don't even wait. Don't wait for the other pieces to fall into place, because you're just going to get more anxious about it, right, Just do it? Yes, Yeah, I just say it's this like amazing thing that science has given us that is actually like quite feminist, you know,

it's like pro what is a pro woman thing? We were you know a lot of people grow up thinking that like they have to do certain things because they're a woman, And this is something that we have at our disposal if you can afford it, and hopefully our health care system can figure out a way to make this part of the benefits and make this an option

for all women and not make this about privilege. It's truly a way for us to be in the workforce and to wait and not be beholden to this archaic view of time and when we're supposed to have, you know, children, I mean, like you know when you when you're having when you're pregnant over thirty five they called a geriatric pregnancy, and me being forty, I feel like everyone has just put the fear of God into me about this age.

All of the science or a lot of it that it is based on is stuff from like a long time ago. Oh it's not really based on Now we've done episodes on this podcast and moms over forty women are getting party forty five without it. I mean, it's not we're not for forties and the new thirty isn't it? So we're twenty for sure, but like we're three, like super ambitious, Like we all got out to l A and I remember those first years for us, like we were like hitting the ground running. We were working our

asses off. We were definitely not thinking about starting families or getting married. We were like, we are going to take this town, you know, by storm, even at the age where right now, like we still want to. So you shouldn't have to like give that up to have a kid. And if this was more like available to people and everyone realized that it's an option for everybody, then it's your choice when you when you start a family. And also knowing that you can preserve your eggs for

when you're ready. Yes, And I like would craft you know Craft, who you weren't someone who was like I'd not sure about motherhood really, so like I'm just I don't want to decide today, Like I'm gonna be like sixty and be like I'm just not sure it. Yeah, but it'll be perfect. So what like you'll get a kid that your eggs will be the age they were when you froze them, or you'll get a kid another way, Like Yes, So I think this is such an important topic.

I think it's so important And thank you guys for going into like detail on the feelings during and after, and like some of the more logistical stuff, because I think that's what women don't know. We don't know about the picking up the drugs and the shots and mixing it on your own and it costs more to get it, or like that you get internally examined every other day. Is there anything else that you want to say or think would be helpful to people who are listening who

are considering freezing their eggs. I would say, if you're considering it, do it as as soon as you can. Worry about the price after, like get the money from friends or whatever you need to do, because the longer you wait is just the worst case you're gonna be. That's all. And you can put it on credit card, right, Yeah, you absolutely can. I put everything on a credit card and then I got some points and then I was able to travel back east and see my family. It

was like it all it all worked out. But it's truly like, if you're thinking about doing it, it's safe, it's you know, the success rate is really high. And if you're you know, between thirty and thirty five and you're hesitant, I would just do it. If you can do it now, just do it it'll be so glad you did, and then it's not something you have to think about, you know, as you're getting older. For four years,

I was like thinking thinking about it. What's the point of thinking about something that you can actually do unless I get and I understand that I'm extremely privileged to have been able to do this, like for for the option, you know, God, you know, just even talking about that, and and and like the fact that we're talking about it makes me realize how privileged I am to be able to do it, and that if it's a real

priority for people, that there is I know it. There's not payment plans, it doesn't sound like there are for egg freezing, but there's payment plans for credit card, you know, like there's payment plans if you were to put it on a credit card that has paying off this much a month, you know, for a year, and breaking things

up that way. I mean, some of these bigger companies I think are starting to and and it's great because they're they're supporting the women who want to keep working, who don't want to take time off necessarily yet right, I really really am so thankful for you guys taking the time and sharing your experiences with our listeners because I think this ship is so helpful and I know there are a lot of women thinking about egg freezing all the time, and if this podcast can give them

in any way shape form, just like any information that they didn't have before, that might make decision making any easier than we have done our job. Thank you, Stephanie Black, and thank you Lindsay Kraft for coming on Katie's Crib. I love you both with all of my heart. I never thought I'd be able to be a guest on Katie's Crab like this was the one way that I could be a guest. I know, Sam, I'm so excited. Oh my god. Well, Steph you're gonna have to come

on and tell us about motherhood. Lindsay Kraft, You're going to have to come on at some point and just tell us where you're at and if you've answered any questions with yourself. Look, Katie's Crab hopefully has got many many seasons, and you're you're my favorite and a fan favorite, so we need to hear about your fertility journey in all of its steps. We love you, Ka, We're so grateful to be on here. Thank you so much for listening.

To today's episode. Am I not the luckiest in the world that I get to call Lindsay Craft and Stephanie Black two of my best friends? I want to hear from you. What do you guys want to talk about an upcoming episodes? You know that you could always reach me via email at Katie's Crib at Shonda land dot com. Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda land An Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You until you try ned