Caring for Your Newborn w/ Alexandra Latten Argosino

night nurse? What's a postpartum duela? What's a newborn care specialist? What's a baby nurse? How are they different? How are they the same? And I was like, I gotta get Alexandra in here because she was my newborn care specialist with Vera. She was here for fourteen nights of Vera's first I guess we were home the third night of her life, so the first seventeen days of her life she was here at my house. Let me tell you a little bit about alex Andrew Latin Argosino. She is

a newborn care specialist in a postpartum doulah. She has several years of experience taking care of hundreds of newborns as a babysitter, a summer oh pair and nanny, and a nurse. She recently started a blog in a podcast herself called Babies in Business, which is a source created for other newborn care professionals to share information, education, inspiration

and motivation. She was born and raised in Europe, in the Netherlands and graduated with a nursing decree, and from setting routines with your baby to sleep training to being there for you in the most vulnerable times in a new mom's life, she is the one to call. So welcome Alexandra Latin Argansino to Katie's Crib. Thank you so much for in finding me as a guest on your

amazing podcast. It's an absolute pleasure to talk with you, and I'm so excited to share a little bit more about my work and tell me where you're from, so everyone knows how this stunning accent came to be. I was born and raised in the Netherlands, that little country from the wooden shoes and cheese and wind meals. She came. I interviewed one person and it was her to take care and help me and my daughter. And she came

in and she's also beautiful. You were in your scrubs and your accent behind a mask, and I was like, can you please just take care of me and my newborn baby, which I have not yet met. Okay, my first question for you is do you call yourself a night nurse? Is that what you say you are? No? See, I'm already messing up. I would like to briefly touch on the title night nurse. The title night nurse is

actually not the correct title. For many years we were known as a night nurse or commonly known baby nurse, but many in our industry are not a nurse, and it is illegal to call yourself a nurse when you don't have a nursing degree. So in two thousand seven, in a National Nanny Association invented this title. Created this title Newborn Care Specialists for those who are supporting parents, specifically during the transition into parenthood, those first few weeks

or months after birth. So that brings me back to your question. We are here to support, serve, guide, and most importantly, to educate parents in all aspects of newborn care and help them become confident and well equipped with plentiful of resources. Can you believe this? Ladies and gentlemen, I mean, when I hear you speak about what it is you do, I'm like, come back, not for vera, but for me. Okay, so you go by a night

nurse because you are a nurse as well. So let it be known that not all newborn care specialists have a nursing degree. Correct, And if that is something important to you or a value to you when you are interviewing people who are going to help you take care of your newborn, if you want them to be a night nurse with a nursing degree, that that is something you ask about. Yes, So, okay, there's a night nurse, baby nurse, newborn care specialist, postpartum doula. These all sort

of get confused. I think we can completely forget about night nurse and baby nurse. It is bitter and also more accurate when you refer to people in my industry as either a new born care specialist or a post bottom dula. I refer to myself as a new moon care specialist, and parents always get that extra medical background as a bonus, just to you know, limit the confusion. I love that. Now, how did you come to this line of work? You know? For me personal it was

a very organic and natural transition UM. I worked as a nurse and pediatric care and really enjoyed building relationship with parents and answering their questions, mostly from overwhelmed and sleep deprived parents. And it's so happened that one of my closest friends went through a very difficult postpartum phase. I spontaneously offered my help, and that joyful decision sparked my desire to work one on one with parents and their newborns. And who doesn't love to hold a teeny

tiny baby? Right? How many babies have you cared for in your career? Would you say? Gosh, I lost count over the years, but it's definitely over three hundred. Oh my gosh. You know you came and worked with us for two weeks, But I would say for the most part, you you are with families for about three months would maybe be your average. You know, every family has different needs and quite frankly, it's also a decision regarding your finances.

So every family you know makes a decision and shares their goal with me, and we come up with a timeframe according that you know information, but anywhere between two weeks and twelve weeks. Sometimes I have parents who want to really be sure that their baby is sleeping through the night, and then I stay sixteen weeks, but twelve weeks is the average. If you are looking for a newborn care specialists, a lot of people will interview via

zoom now or in person. What are the three questions you think you get asked the most when you do one of these sort of interviews. How long I have been doing this, how many newborns I have taken care of? And what I personally understand about supporting parents during this transition, because you want to be sure as a new parent, as oftentimes the first time parents, that your parenting philosophy is lined up with the person you are booking or hiring to help. You know, guys who are listening. It's

it's a really vulnerable time. You're really in these first couple of weeks understanding your baby's cues crying and how much and how little they eat, or what kind of sleeper they are, Are they gassy? Are they allergic to something? Here's the good news about someone who's been around three hundred babies or someone if you're lucky to hire someone who knows a lot more than you do about this. It's like you talked me off the ledge like it's not a big deal this. I've seen this before. She's

probably allergic to something in your breast milk. And you're right, and it's not a big deal. We're already under the new thing. Let's be honest. It has to be an energy exchange. You are in such a vulnerable and personal situation as a new parent or first some parent. You want someone that you if you're comfortable with, and who creates that safe environment for you in your home. There's a contract that comes along with a newborn care specialist.

Can you tell us a little bit about that? So when a client thinks that I'm the right fit uh and books my newborn care services, then we sign a contract and from that day on I reserve my time for that one specific client. And every client has different needs and wants, and it also depends on their individual lifestyle, which day switch ours, how many weeks they need help. So for example, in my case, you would show up

at ten pm and leave at eight am. Correct, I was going into labor with plans of having a vaginal labor, but I did at the end decide to be induced. I just kept texting you like this is when I'm going into the hospital and you were like, would you like me there the first night you come home from the hospital. So for those of you looking at contracts and things like that, most newborn care specialists, it's not

like it starts on this exact day. It's like you guys are in touch about when the baby is coming, because sometimes nobody knows when the baby is coming except for the baby. Correct And then you are very open, which maybe not all are. But you know, what worked for us was ten to eight. But I'm sure some people want to do nine to seven or want to do you know, different hours seven to seven or twenty four seven. It's all depends on you know their lifestyle

and you know their priorities. Right there are I have a friend in the market right now looking for someone. I'm like, that sounds amazing. I mean, newborn care specialists book up very far in advance. Yes, I don't know if that's like that around the country, but it is in l A. And I feel like you were booked up to like fall of or something like that. Like that. It's like, typically I'm booked, you know, six months in advance.

You booked me pretty early two and I think that's the safest to go because when you have to find someone at a you know, last minute, your options are very limited. Currently we are in a baby boom COVID. I went to my checkup at my oh B and they hang up on the board how many birds she has coming up? And I was like, oh my god, I couldn't believe how many babies she has coming. Parents have done more than just watch Netflix during this that year.

Take me through what a typical and we can do one of my nights, but like, what is a typical night look like? Because I think people get very confused about like where does the newborn care specialists sleep? And if I'm breastfeeding, how do they wake me up? And all of those sort of uncomfortable, weird questions that someone who is essentially a stranger who you have a good vibe with is now staying in your home with your newborn.

So when I arrived at your house, it was always greeted by your dog Ruger, and those chats with you and Adam at the beginning of the night were always fun. Most parents fill me in about their day and then I answered their questions, share some tips and tricks and help them find solutions that works best for them. Basically, when I arrived, I am in most cases met at

the door by exhausted parents. Um some parents are in bits within thirty minutes after I arrive, and then some parents they like to stay up and chit chat a little bit. But typically when I arrive, I take over from that moment because I want to give parents sleep that is really needed. It is so important for parents after having gone through labor giving birth that they catch up on sleep. Whether you carried and gave birth to your baby, yourself, a surrogate carried or gave birth to

your baby, or you adopted a baby. Becoming a parent in any way is overwhelming, nerve wracking, and it involves a multitude of emotions. So having someone who supports you doing this journey is incredibly important. I stay mostly in the same room as the baby so I can keep a watchful eye. I change diapers, swallow suit. In the beginning, I do the umbilical court care, circumcision care when it is a boy. If mom chooses to breastfeed, I support

her in establishing a breastfeeding relationship and routine. If parents choose to bottle feed, I feed the baby either pumped breast milk or formula. I remind and make sure that Mom's stay hydrated, bring her a glass of water, a snack, check in how she feels, and mostly try to create an environment of trust so she feels safe to share her feelings and emotions with me. And then I also check in with a spouse or partner who is also adjusting to a new normal. I want both parents to

feel supported and valued. It's so so, so great, And I didn't sleep if I didn't have you, because I would be someone checking on the baby's lungs every two seconds to make sure that the body was going up and down. And the thing about passing off the baby to someone who's a nurse and a new word care specialist was that I could just give the baby to you, and I knew that I could really pray for sleep to come on quickly. It would because I'd be so

fucking tired. And then three hours later, just as if I just closed my eyes, my door would crack open a little bit and it would be Alexander being like hi, waving her little hand, and that was my time to zombie walk into Vera's room, breastfeed and here's where she's such a big help. So I breastfeed. But what's awesome is that I just sit there. Alexandra hands me a baby in a diaper, because they stay awake better and

feed better if they're awake. If they're all wrapped up and swaddled while you're breastfeeding them, they're are They're sleeping through the whole feed, and they're not really eating. Exactly when I show up into the room, you're already unswaddling her, changing her diaper. Because also, newborn babies poop fifty thousand times a day. It's ridiculous. She hands me the cute naked baby in a diaper on one side. I breastfeed for about, I don't know, fifteen twenty minutes on one's breast,

hand the baby back to Alexander. She burps the baby, and the baby is held upright so that she doesn't acid reflects throw up all the breast monks. You just ate. Then she hands me the baby on the other side. Then you hand the baby back, and after you've done the other side, and this whole thing is taken forty two minutes, I'm running back to my bedroom and praying for sleep while Alexandra is burping the baby again, re diapering,

re swaddling, and getting the baby down again. It's all of that shit that I am not doing, and that is a miracle, because all of that stuff takes more

time away from sleeping. I really wanted to do sunk it because I feel like a lot of people have no clue what we're doing in the middle of the night, and it's a lot what happens if someone doesn't have like a bed for you in the baby's room, because that used to really upset me, Like I just was like, oh my god, Like our nursery is really small and we had just to blow up mattress and I felt so bad because I had some other friends that had like a full queen sized bed like in the baby's room,

which is amazing, But like, what what do people do? Because then I have people say like, well, I'll just have the nurse sleep down the hall, and I'm like, no, I think that they're supposed to be like in the room, right, Yes, mostly I stay in the baby's room. I do ask, indeed, to have a place to you know, lay so I can stretch my legs. But no, every somebody is different. I have slept on many air mattresses, roll away beds,

pull out couches, beds, a beds um. You know. It's a nice way for your your newborn care specialist or post bottom dula, you know, to stretch their legs too. Also, to be quite honest, if you sit in a dark room with white noise going for the full ten hours, you are going to fall asleep or dose off. How many years have you been doing this? Sixteen years? Oh my god, do you have any favorite stories? I can share a very real situation and it was actually with you,

and it really hit me home. I remember we were figuring out how vera could become an efficient either and your amazing lactation consultant suggested a certain routine and schedule of breastfeeding. I believe it was every two or three hours, And you tell me, is it I don't have any time for that, ship I need to sleep. It really was such a real and raw moment because you were

so sleep deprived. I know stories that you have been on with certain families for three months, four months, up to a year, for certain very very like high profile families who really work insane jobs and could not put on their plate like sleep training a baby like you didn't leave until the baby was sleeping seven to seven for like months on end. So how do you sleep train a baby? You know, there's so much confusion about

sleep training. If you establish healthy habits from day one, then sleep until the night becomes a very organic process. Your baby will then gradually sleep longer over time. Three am becomes four am, five a m turns into six am. But this only happens when everyone is on the same page, parents, oftentimes grandparents, nanny, and of course lastly the person who is supporting you. Whether this isn't nanny, uh, you don't care,

specialist or postponeum dula. But I call this approach sleep conditioning. You create a condition for your baby to become an independent sleeper over time. So sleep training is actually only needed when certain habits need to be undone like holding a baby for sleep, rocking a baby to sleep, feeding

a baby to sleep. You know, everyone wakes up during the night, We as adults, look at an alarm clock, take a sip of water, you know, turn on the other side b and then we go back to see when a baby wakes up and has been held, rocked or fat to sleep. Then they need and want this each time they wake up because it has to become a habit. It is instilled in them that that is only the only way to fall asleep. We call that a sleep association. So sleep training is about ondoing dependency

and replacing them with independent sleep habits. I think this is associated for a lot of moms with worrying about them being fed right like or you know, it's like when a baby wakes up and you're like freaking out. It's like, oh my god, they didn't eat enough for you know, there's probably like a lot of panic around that sort of thing. But also, let's be honest, when you have a baby who wakes up at three am, you know, crying, it is easier to suit them, you know,

holding or rocking or feeding them. And as a parent, when you are on your own, that is a survival method, you know, that's what you do because then you are you know, twining in a thirty minutes later back to sleep again. As to going through the entire motion of you know, instilling healthy sleep habits, ondoing those habits that have led to waking them up by or wanting to be rocked, or fat or you know, health A lot of times, bigger babies have a little bit easier time,

right because they're not having to feed so much. Is that true or am I making that up? It depends. We do oftentimes say, oh, when there's a ten pound baby, since they have already so much such a higher way, you know, everything becomes a little bit more relaxed because we don't have to feed every two or three hours, so you don't have to wake them up so organically. Then you know, might sleep a little bit, you know, longer, but it is not necessarily right because they could just

be like gassy. The other thing about a newborn care specialist is if you have your baby in your room, a lot of newborn babies make a lot of sounds. Grunting, their like working out gas, they're pooping, they're like doing all this stuff, and so you never sleeping because you're like, what's that? What's that? What's that? What are they doing? What are they doing? What are they doing? Vera was like really quiet, she still is. She's so quiet. She was,

indeed from day one, and very quiet sleeper. And I had to build up and check on her. Are you okay? You know? You said, I think vera is ready for a nighttime routine, and you were the one. What do you call it again? Was it the four beasts? Yeah?

But book, bottle or breast and bet those are the sort of things that a newborn care specialist sets you up for, like this is the sort of schedule you're on now, And then you so graciously are available through text even afterwards when I was like, how do I I get her to not do this feed anymore at three o'clock in the morning, or you said, you know, at the seven pm, let's do at six thirty the four bees, so that she starts to get into a nighttime routine, knowing that every night when she gets a

bath and books and her breast milk and that and bed, she knows that it's different from the naps in the day, Like this is the one that's like the long haul, right, we all function better on routine. Newborn's the same. So when newborn received the same routine every night, they know it is the right time to prepare themselves for the night. So good finish the sentse parent hood is overwhelming. I was gonna say hard. So we must have been as we knew we were and always will be on the

same wavelength people. You mentioned the importance of self care. I think that hiring a newborn care specialist if you can, is the ultimate self care. Tell me how you help as part of your services with the self care. So I made sure to always check in with both parents, and of course this past year, because of the pandemic, it was a little bit difficult. But usually I offer to come one night a week earlier so that the parents can have a date night, because it is very

important that parents keep connecting with each other. You know, there's so much focus on the baby that sometimes parents will get to focus on their relationship or on their marriage. So it's important when parents are connected, it spells over onto the baby. You know, having a date night that is really good for your relationship or your marriage. This past year, of course, it was a little bit difficult

because of the pandemic. We you know, no one could go anywhere, but I have been going earlier and then parents just had dinner at home and then I took care of the baby. But I also make sure that I give parents resources, either I share a parent group or a mom's group. There is so much support out there for parents to check in you know, we live in a society where we have this phenomenon of you know, being a superwoman, and I think sometimes it is taken

too far. There is nothing wrong. Was asking for help and support. That was around a group of friends that had babies a lot in the same time, and a few of the moms had a very different experience to me, where they actually had a newborn care specialist hired and they did a few nights and my two of my friends just freaked out and we're like, I'm I can't believe this, but I'm in mommy bear mode and I

don't want anyone else like touching the baby. And they were great nurses, but you know, my friends just couldn't believe the feelings they were having of like just really wanting to have the baby all to themselves seven like it was a real primal thing. Now I felt like, oh my god, I need so much help. But Adam

will sleep the whole night. And why he loves it is because he's able to do double duty all day, you know what I mean, Like he's so pumped because he's like, yes, fine, everyone hate me for getting a full eight hours of sleep, but I promise you, like in the waking hours, I'm gonna go so hard because I got a full night sleep. That can get in

full night rest, but that is on day duty. So during today you can take naps and shower and like eat and just lay down and do nothing, and the dad has to like or whoever the support of spouses or partner, they can take out the trash, do the dishes, do a load of laundry, walk the dog, figure out dinner. All of these sorts of things. Well, you don't do anything right because when you vote, are he deprived exhausted,

then that's not going to happen during the day. So it's better when one parent is a full night of rest because they are then on day duty. There's a number of resources that people can go to online to get assistance in finding a new board care specialist. We have Alexander's Facebook page, which is a postpartum support for moms. There's care dot com. Are there other resources that you recommend?

I always give the suggestion to check with your friends because they all have these amazing in with referrals from their newborn care specialists or post bottom do lass or nanny's and you know, oftentimes your pediatrician or b G y N. They are definitely also, you know, good resources to ask, But honestly, I only work on referrals. So you know your friend or my colleague referred me or you know something like that. Okay, So are there any

options if it's just too expensive? You know, it's definitely an expense. In my case, I rather have this than like you name it, But I don't know if there are people. Are there people who trained to do it who are less expensive, Like how does that work? So

there are a few options. Sometimes when a parent tells me like, yeah, we would like to know book your services, but you know, we have some concerns financial wise, so then we come up with a way either go to three nights a week or one night on one night off. We do have new bone care specialists or postponum doulas who have just entered the industry um and they have to you know, get their experience. They are not that

well trained yet. But you know, when you have someone at three am who can hold your baby and so you can sleep, that can be definitely an option. Right. You know, it all depends on your goals and your finances, but there are always you know options. This was so helpful. Do you have any last tips for our listeners. If you have the ability to book a new ponk, especially as a postponum, do left do it? Postpontum support is

so important. The more lovingly a postpartum mom is careed for, the more lovingly she's able to care for her baby. And the more support both parents received, the better they are equipped to understand their baby's needs and response to them. So if you have the option and the finances to hire a book a new work especialist or go for it will help you so much, you know, in the

transitioning to become a parent. I completely agree. I can't thank you enough for giving us your time and your expertise, and I just I'm so grateful that you were in our lives, in our household, and in our baby's room for the nights that we were lucky enough to have you. I was a joy to you work with you. I really loved driving to Studio City and you know, having the pretzels, having the pretzel, Oh my gosh, Adam had me cracking up this about National Pretzel Day and my

husband's ridiculous. But we were so lucky to have you, and thank you for coming on Katie's Crib. And you, guys, I want to hear from you. I think this subject like postpartum care, a specialist, newborn care specialist like this is something that I feel like no one's really understood or talked about unless you've gone through it yourselves. And we have so many people listening who are first time moms or who are pregnant, things like that, So I

hope this offered a bunch of information to you. Follow Alexandra on Instagram. Where can we find you? So Alexandra A L e X A N D R A and then Latin l A T T E M. Thank you so much for coming on Katie's Crib. Thank you so much for having me. It was such a pleasure. Thank you guys so much for listening to Katie's Crib. Please share the episode, tell your friends, subscribe. Do all the things that I want to hear from you? What episodes do you want to do? What guests should I have

on topics you'd like to discuss? Questions you have, you could always hit me up at Katie's Crib at Shondaland dot com. Katie's Crib is a production of Shonda land Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from Shonda land Audio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. You never know Me