Coming to you from the Morning Star Mission sponsored studio. This is Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
Scarlet crew morning helping you take your next step with Jesus. I've thought about marriage from the almost said marriage. You got to be close there. Uh, I've thought about marriage from a three perspectives. Okay. Number door number one. Door number two. Door number three. And it seems that things. Let me just characterize it this way. Door number one is you walk in, you open up that door, and you look inside and you see a couple who's just
thriving in marriage. And I mean, they're the dear couple that they've weathered storms and they're making it and they've learned how to. Oh, the the man especially has learned how to love his bride as Christ loved the church. And and the woman in like manner just Loves, listens, cares for. Affirms. It's just it's a two way deal, and it's rich, right? Those are sweet. Okay. Door number three is these marriages that I mean, they're. You open it up. You look inside and they're ready to. They're
splitting the sheets. Things are just on the skids. But the biggest swath, as my pastor's vantage point is this door number two, you open it up and they're going to church. They love God. They got a couple kids. They've shared a lot of experiences together, but the fire is gone out. It's a glorified roommate situation, and they don't even know it sometimes until you stop, maybe, as we do right now and go, man, has that fire gone out? And it's in. It's those marriages that we're
going to focus on today. because building those coals back up, it's not. Here's the beauty about it. You take a few simple steps to reclaim lost ground and everything can change. Ali.
You know, even just you saying that, I think a lot of people would have a lot of skepticism that a few simple steps. Really? Yeah. For the couple that's been married for ten, 20, 30 plus years and is kind of just like, uh, we're we're committed. Neither one of us are going anywhere. You're saying that the spark can come back with just a couple simple steps?
Yeah. And I'm going to save the goods for Gary and Barb, who are going to be with us here in just a moment. The first step is simple, but it ain't easy. And that is just straight up repentance. But God forgive us from where we have fallen, right? That's hard. But then where we go from there? I mean, that first little awareness, man. Things are not cooking as they ought. And we've. We walked down that aisle. We were so on fire. Our jaws were aching from smiling
at the reception. Remember that alley? Oh, yeah.
Oh, boy.
Holy moly. We we we got away from the wedding party and scrubbed all the graffiti off of my little pickup truck, and and we both just rubbed. Our jaws were.
Like, oh, man.
But it's funny what can happen. You get down the road a piece and it's like, man, five years, ten years, 15 for some of you, 20, 30. And the question is, can those fires for love be stoked again? And the answer is they can, they can. Coming up, we've got some dear friends every time they're here Ali peel paint time here.
There's a reason why they're called America's Family Coaches. You're going to hear from the rosbergs coming up.
She was trying to earn her way to God, but God showed her she didn't have to. Ali is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
He's still pouring out Grace. He's still pouring out love. He's still pouring power into his kids. This week is. I guess somebody declared it National Marriage Week. I think it ought to be national marriage year. We need the fuel in the belly here.
National marriage year.
National marriage year. Every year it rolls around. Oh, there we are. We're at another national marriage year.
Sometimes a week won't do, man.
No, you got that right. So I want to focus on door number two today. And my heart goes out to any of us who feel like, uh oh, where'd the love go? I'm talking about that deep, intimate connection with your spouse. And we know this can happen. Just look at our relationship with God. This is why the church is in the book of revelations are told, come on back. Get back to your first love. You. You've got it. You've got to knock at the door going on.
Open the door, let them in. And in many ways, in marriage we can find ourselves behind door number two. Door number one is everything's rocking. They've been cooking with Jesus. They've gone through hardship, but they've learned to surrender to God and then really submit to one another. Door number three splitting the sheets. And those are tragic. And you might be there today. But hold on, because these truths from door number two are going to help you as well.
Gary and Barb Rosberg, how did we get to door number two? How did we go from rocking love to kind of glorified roommates?
Well, Carl and Allie, you nailed it in the opening before the song when you said it starts with small moments. And Allie, you said, do small movements really work? Doctor John Gottman says that's exactly what you need to do. So it's not the trip to Italy, although that's not a bad idea. It's not, you know, our trip down south right now in the middle of our Chicago winter. But it's the small moments. And there are three switches that need to be flipped for any couple that's wanting
to experience the depth of communication and intimacy. And we're going to give you the three switches today.
Doctor Gary and Barb Rosberg, our guest this morning. America's family coaches for decades of equipping marriages across the U.S. and international. They have written over a dozen prominent marriage resources in 12 different languages. Their titles are in. Okay, so you teased us with these three switches. You want to start there?
Let's get after them.
Absolutely, Ali. Okay. Great to be on. It's great to be on the program with you both today. Carl and Ali, be intentional and with that intentionality begin with yourself. And you did refer to this ahead of time. Carl. Thank you. It's. It's like what happened to me yesterday. I was in church. A woman I know, she is my favorite greeter. Her name is Emily. She came up to me. Honestly, she looked like a movie star. And I said, you look great today. She said, Barb, the Lord told me to
quit criticizing my husband. And I did. We've been together 17 years. Married eight. And this is the first time this morning he said, May I go to church with you? She introduced me to her husband, John. And honestly, you think you're impacting your mate by putting criticism? Bottom line is you glow like a torch in the night. So whatever you do, flip the switch. Turn into your mate as God designed them. Delight in them. What do you have to do to change? Know your spouse. What do
they need encouragement. Maybe they need non-sexual touch. But maybe, like John from Emily, he needed kind words.
Yeah, it's powerful stuff. So, Barb, I'm going to stick with you on this one a second here. Um, how what do you do to the person who says to you, I don't feel like it because they fill in the blank of of grievances, pain, heartache, that that initiative. I know it's fueled by the Holy Spirit. God can do that in us. Right, Barb?
Oh, totally.
That's number two.
That is number.
Two.
Check your power source. And every time, Carl, we go to the word of God. Because truthfully, in Ephesians chapter 432, it says this be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as in Christ he forgave you. So get along with Christ, and you go there and confess all the ways that your spouse is driving you crazy. Confess where you've blown it. Confess where your spouse is not living up to what you thought they were going
to do, but get along with Christ. He knows it, but we get the joy of unpacking it and feeling all that gunk. And honestly, it's junk leaving our hearts. So instead of a hard heart, we have a tender heart.
So we've got be intentional. Check your power source. What's that? Third switch.
Check your direction. Check your direction. Look at your compass and turn it one degree at a time. And I'm going to get real mechanical because that's what Carl sent us an email about. That means one date. That doesn't mean set up every Wednesday night for the next 30 years. Just do one. It means one note. And I don't mean a text bag. The text texts are Overrated, but one note that's handwritten with a pen. It can be cursive. If you went that far in school, number one is
another thing. Is one phone call in the middle of the day. Just saying. Baby, baby, baby, I was thinking about you. I couldn't go another moment without hearing your voice. Now she's going to call the doctor when you do that. But do it anyway. The other thing is one time to sit and listen and share, and you can sit down in a couple chairs or sit on a bench, grab an ice cream cone or a hot tea or
whatever you do, and just say, you know what? We're not very good at this, but we're going to take it. We're going to take a good run at it. We're going to sit on one time and just listen, connect and share. And then two more things, one Kiss and Barbie. And I recommend six Seconds Ali. So six second Kisses and National Marriage Week would be a good time to start it. And then at the core of all of it is one prayer. Guys, you did it before. You've done it over a meal. You've done it when you're
scared to death for the doctor's report. You've done it when you're putting your putting your kids down, you can do it with your wife. Take your wife's hand and just. You can close your eyes if you want, but just say, dear Lord Jesus, thank you for this spouse. Thank you God that we can experience a do over. Thank you that you're not done with us. Thank you that there is hope and that that hope is in you. It's
not in Hollywood. It's not in the Super Bowl. It's not in what we see on TV or what's going on at our neighbor's house. It's at what's going on in the true relationship with the resurrected Jesus Christ.
I love it. Okay, coming up, I want you guys to. I want you to get go ahead and get vulnerable here. I want to hear how this worked for you. That's what I want to do. Gary and Barb Rosberg more coming up.
Romans eight brought her to Jesus while broadcasting traffic overnight. Super die is in the crew. It's curl and crew on Moody Radio.
Do not think you can go it alone. There is nothing that we excel in in life that doesn't have a coach, mentor, disciple or whatever word you use, you need it. And we've got it today. America's family coach is with us. Gary and Barbie Rosberg, they are tremendous. Oh they're tremendous. And no matter where you are and even in Canada, they can help you out today. So there we go. We got to get that squared away. Uh,
Gary and Barb, let's get vulnerable here. These steps. And by the way, let's hit those quickly here right before we tee them up. But we want you to open up your chest cavity and let's see from your own life how did this work? But what are those. What are those switches.
Those three switches. One being intentional to check your power source. Three check your direction so you can get the showcast if you want to hear the full breakdown. But go ahead. Gary and Barb talk about how this has worked in your own marriage.
You know, years.
Ago I was with a group of women. We were out to dinner. We were having the best time. And honestly, we got into a conversation about our husbands and one woman started bashing her husband. Another one would add seasoning to it how her husband was worse. And you know, the whole table just went down. I left that table instead of being instead of feeling edified and built up.
I'm telling you, Carl, there's power in our words. I came home, I took a look at my husband, and I thought, if God's going to use me in my marriage, I've got no unwholesome word that can afford to come out of my mouth. And it became a spiritual discipline with me and God. I chose in that moment that I would withhold anything that was critical in my dairy, that I would only build him up and when I was frustrated, I would try to edit it. Was it perfect?
Heck no. But the goal is to change, to build up, to edify. I know a lot of people think I must be very shallow because they'll say thank you for your encouragement. The reality is, I am changing my world through the power of my words. Beginning with Gary Rutherford.
Doctor Gary and Barb Rosberg, America's family coaches with us this morning. You know, I have seen couples who they have settled in. And, you know, this all sounds nice, but they're actually quite content in their glorified roommate situation. And that may sound crazy, but I've seen it. They have a big enough space that they sort of each occupy their own part of the house. They connect when they need to. They give the particulars of the day, and a lot of times they've been married for many,
many years. How do you sell a vision for more for the couple. That's like, I am kind of getting my needs met elsewhere. I've got hobbies, I've got friends, I've got my church group and I'm okay. And I think he's okay with where we're at.
You know, you use the word and it's called The More and what Barbie, Barbie and I are doing is coaching couples, whether it's, uh, in a coaching experience or whether it's on radio or writing or podcast or whatever. And we we give them the vision of the more, the more is depth and connection and communication. It's the willingness to take a risk. It's the willingness to do a 1 in 2 degree turn vector change so that you invest in your relationship. Because what those couples are doing,
and we've all been in those stages. Barb and I have been married a long time. You get in those stages where you drift and get drifting is what leads us into places we don't want to go. So it means somebody has got to be willing. And Barbie and I believe one person can change a marriage. Now ultimately it's Ultimately it's going to take two, but it never
starts with two. It starts with one. It's one person who is surrendered, who is examined, who is willing to confess, they're willing to repent, and they're willing to turn not towards their spouse. They're willing to turn towards Christ and the cross in order for the power source, in order to then turn to their spouse. So what I would say is they're missing the more what I would say
is life is short. What I would say is, do you really want to just live as glorified roommates when there's more right around the corner and you might have the opportunity to engage it by taking the risk one degree at a time?
I love this, and I'll tell you why I've benefited from it. And some of you are listening right now going, can this coaching work for me and can I get more? One of the coolest things that Gary and Barb Rosberg have been doing here as of late is a podcast, and God is using it a couple of couple of these episodes are blowing up, and when I say blowing up, I want everyone to remember this. And that's a positive term in my nomenclature. But they're but they're blowing up.
And here's what we want to do here with this morning show. We're helping you take your next step with Jesus. And sometimes that next step is to do a deeper dive. You got a taste of what could be the more, but I want you to get a gulp. I want you to sit down at streams of living water. Get coached up around ways to build intimacy in your marriage. When I said that word, I got chills because I had a conversation with Brent Bride a couple of days
ago and it was the most cool thing. Ali. I sat there taking Gary and Barbie's coaching tips that we've gleaned from them as a couple. Yeah. And, you know, I walked away from a Station. I didn't say much of anything in. My bride got up from the couch and said, I feel so good. And I'm like, what? What do you mean you feel so good? Said, I feel so good, bub. Thank you. That was a great talk. And you know what's funny? Unlike Karl, I was a listener.
But it worked. And I don't know. And some of you have heartache because you are splitting sheets or you feel like it's lost. It's not gone. Gary and Barbie nailed it. One can get this whole ball started. So I want to thank you, Gary and Barb for being with us today, but I want to point them to this greater. Yes. The more. And we've got a link that I want you to come and grab, because, listen, no greater work is the work that is done on marriage. Take it away. Ali, what do we have?
This is a link to their podcast. There's even a number where you can call in and ask a marriage question for them to tackle in a future episode. So this is a very interactive podcast. If you want that link to this and there are other resources, just text coach to 850 55, 78, 98. They are America's family coaches. Your marriage coach. Let's text coach to 855 57898.
Do you feel stuck or paralyzed with victory just out of reach? Here are your questions answered. It's time for ask, Pastor Carl.
I'm going to tackle a marriage question. This is a tough one, but I think I can offer some advice that may help. My question is, my marriage is going through a very hard time. Some days it's easier than others. My wife wants a divorce, and as a man, I respect her decision. But I disagree with that. I think that we both can work it out if we both seek Jesus the way we should. We both are Christians. Okay. Goes on. We both attend the same church in. My
question is what should I do at this point? How do we get along when we talk? We are intimate, but she's not fully committed to our marriage. Still, what should I do at this point? Okay, I got my tummy after years of being a pastor, is telling me a couple of things here. But first off, I would say getting wise counsel into your life is important. A lot of times we call that counseling. Right, guys? Yeah.
Counseling, absolutely.
But I've always been a big believer that if principles that were given here can't be transferred to Bangladesh or wherever Armenia or wherever in the world, I. I want to make sure that what we're giving here can be, can be advice that's given without shelling out money or resources that some people don't have. I really mean that. And I think God's provided a way in the body of Christ. There are going to be wise counselors, people that have gone through the very ground you've gone through.
And my friend who emailed me here, I need you to hear me. You are not the first one that has gone through a situation where it seems this push pull wife wants out. Uh, we're still experiencing intimacy, and you need to get a third party involved in this. And the reason I say wives counselors is not everybody can afford a counselor.
Right? And a wise counselor doesn't necessarily mean paid counseling, but a pastor, a mature Christian leader.
Yeah. And this is why I love Deb Gordon, because she's all about equipping the church to really raise up wise counselors. And I want us to be that here boom crew. I crew. I want us to have a growing tide of people who have gone through tough stuff, and you might not feel quick manner out here. You might not feel like an expert, but you are, because you went through a trial and you came out the other side and you got a story to tell. You know what? That makes you?
An expert.
An expert.
That's right.
So get some wise counsel. This is what I want you to do. I want you to look for someone in that church who has a great marriage. By every evidence. They have joy, they have connection, they've got longevity. It looks like they have communication. They might actually smile at each other when they talk. Things like that are telltale signs. There might be someone that you can go talk to. I would encourage you to go talk to a pastor, too. Here's why. You need a third party involved in this.
And I got a hunch your wife wants it. And here's what my tummy's telling you. Telling me about you. My tummy is telling me that your wife wants to make this marriage work, but feels possibly isolated and alone when you speak of intimacy that you're still having. I've got a hunch that there is a lifeline being thrown saying, can't we find more? Sometimes we men. And let me speak to us men here. Sometimes we men miss obvious signals of a wife crying out, saying, I just want more.
And so first step here would be ask her what is her greatest need that she has that you feel like asking her this? I'm not helping meet that need. There are real needs that men and women have. But men are initiators. Women are responders, and sometimes men don't initiate enough. They're taking kind of bellwether things that are out there. And so this gentleman, bless his heart, I can I can feel it. He goes, we're going through a hard time. My wife wants to divorce. And as
a man, I respect her decision. But I disagree with that. You know what? That's that weird. Okay, I see what's going on, and we're moving the chess pieces around. What you need to do is grab her hands, look her square in the eyes and go. Could I get five minutes of your time to ask you an honest question? From my heart? I would. I would be willing to
bet she'd be willing to afford you that opportunity. Look in her eyes and say, if I could meet one primary need in you that has gone unmet, what would it be? If you listen and linger, I think you might hear it now. There may be a lot more to it, and there often is, because what gets stored up are all these little bricks. You know, when you get in spiritual isolation in a marriage, you know what's
going on. It's usually a big wall that's constructed of little things that pile up one after another over time. And pretty quick you go. There's no way that we're going to get this thing going. But I want to tell you something. Our God can do it. I've personally seen it. Seven years into our marriage, my bride and I and me, by taking initiative, had to take down brick by brick, a little wall that had grown between us. On the outside, everything looked great, but inside love was cold.
And you can do this. It requires humility, teachability and then honest discussion to go, wow, what separated us here? So my brother, I love your heart. And I love the courage, don't you, Ali? That someone would step up like that?
I do. And you know, you mentioned humility. And I think it does take that step of humility to ask for help. I mean, even beyond that, sending an email is awesome, but there's still an anonymity there that I think sometimes we want to want to protect. So I think that humility of and courage of actually going to a person, a mature Christian leader or your pastor. It's that it's it's scary, but it's so important.
Necessary. You know what Satan hates? He hates when you take that step across the room to tap someone on the shoulder and ask for help.
It's hard. He hates everything in us, says I. We can just fix this by ourselves, right? We don't need to tell anybody that we're having a hard time.
Yeah. You know, that is my story, too. I think if we're honest, that's all of our stories.
Absolutely. We'd rather fix it by ourselves than involve anybody else.
Oh, yeah. Seems like a last resort sometimes.
Yeah, it's a big one. You know.
I.
Asked a question earlier, posited a thing to measure in our life. Remember what that was here, Ali?
Yeah. You asked what? When you look at your own marriage, what is it that you measure to see how you're doing? Or what is that warning sign that things are amiss? Something is off. What is it for your for your marriage? It can be different for every marriage. What is that thing? That warning sign. If you look at a dashboard on the car, you see a light come up and you go, this needs attention. What is that for your marriage? Just shoot us a text in a sentence if you can.
855 five 7898 what is that warning sign that when it pops up on the dashboard of your marriage, you go, we need to give this some attention. 855 five 7898.
He's a sports fanatic with a stat for anything you can think of. Young Thunder is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
All right, that's a theme song for this week. Lead me, because I can't do this alone. Sanctus real asking you really important question. You got to measure what matters. And if you look around, you'll see, boy, this is an indication that something's amiss in our marriage. What are those things that you identify that you're like, yeah, boy, when this is going on, there's a problem. This is a leading indicator that something is wrong. Getting some good feedback here, Ali.
Yeah. This is coming in by text. I won't use your number. I'll just tell you what's coming in. Generally impatience, bitterness, poor communication when there's empty emotional intimacy. This is a very telling one. When I don't tell my husband what's on my heart, I can tell him what's on my mind easily. But when I hold back what's on my heart, indifference, physical touch and then a heart. Heartbreaking account of someone
who recently lost a spouse. But you know, when we talk about this, I think it raises all kinds of emotions for people. Because no matter how long you've been married, there's some area where there's there's some disappointment, like your spouse. No one spouse has lived up to everything that they thought that you you thought they would be. And that's true for every single one of us. We have not lived up to what the expectation was for us when we went into this.
Yeah, that's why we had such a tremendous honeymoon. Me and jobs. Because four days in, we're like, what in the world have we done? Now, not everyone's like that, but everybody comes to a passage in time when you go, whoa, this person's disappointing.
Yeah.
Coming up here, we're going to pour out our heart. Yep. We're going to tell you what is a indicator that something needs to change. And we're going to be vulnerable. Hang on.
He was running from God, but God's love brought him home. Carl is in the crew. It's Carl and crew on Moody Radio.
If we're honest, there are indicators that call them idiot lights on. Some dashboards, some of them. I'm sorry.
I know, I really like that I'm laughing because I think it's hilarious.
Idiot lights are the funniest things. Because when you get a flashing red engine light, it means your engine's toast. You need a new engine. Yes, rather than your oil pressure. So that's why I like pressure gauges as opposed to idiot lights. Idiot lights tell you pull to the side of the road and call I dot.
Yes, immediately.
You're toast.
Prepare to buy a new car.
Yes. Like Ali stranded with a stalled car. She thought for a moment. We are in trouble. Carload full of girls and they are like, stuck in the middle of Lake.
Shore Drive in Chicago.
That even gets me nervous.
It's stressful man.
Oh. I'm glad. Oh, I'm glad that thing got going again. Yes, but there are indicators in marriage that something's wrong. And one big one for me is just opening my chest cavity is as simple as taking my wife for granted. You know what? I got to tell you something. I don't do a lot of washing and clothes around here. And when I do, I screw it up. Things shrink. Things change color. Things get bad. And my wife just graciously says. And so I'll tell her. Sometimes they want
to help you around here. Babe, can I do a load of wash? No. That's okay. Um, but I got some other stuff for you.
That's great.
But the wash is not for me. That woman has to grab my underwear, grab my clothes, grab my socks, and do my laundry. And you know what? I need to, from time to time, remember that and go. Thank you for doing my dirty laundry.
That's important, I think. I think all of us can be guilty of taking our spouse for granted and saying, I don't appreciate the little things that you do around here.
And it's more than that. It's taking for granted in so many ways. I mean, I'm married to a grandma right now, guys. I'm married to a grandma.
Congratulations.
One week to a grandma.
Boy, she's a good looking grandma, but I'm married to a grandma. And last night we were watching the Super Bowl with our kids and our granddaughter, and she was a Philadelphia fan, I could tell it. And and my bride is doing such a good job with this little girl. And I'm like, man, what a good grandma. What do you say, young Thunder?
You know, I say for me that I can tell that God's trying to get my attention in the busyness of life that, you know, I Monday through Friday, work is hard. I get up early. I come home and I'm tired, and I, you know, I don't I want to do a lot of things for myself because, hey, that's my recoup time, I need that. But then Monday through Friday is gone and got Saturday, Sunday doing stuff with the kiddo. And and then I go, oh, it's Monday again, you know. So you got to be careful
about that. God wants you to spend time with your spouse.
Good word.
I think for me, when I think about my marriage, I've been married now almost 19 years.
Yeah.
And it's the times when we forget to connect. When he comes in the door and I continue on what I'm doing in the kitchen, and don't go over and give him a hug and a kiss and ask him how his day is. Or we're sitting on the couch and we're both on opposite sides instead of next to each other. We don't have to. You don't have to sit on top of your spouse all day like you're
just attached at the hip. But when it's like you're in the same space, but there's not that physical connection that touch on the shoulder, that, hey, let me snuggle up next to you on the couch when that's missing. It's like, okay, we got to reconnect.
And that's that's a pretty simple course correction, isn't it?
Yes it is. Let's move over a little bit.
Yeah. Just move six inches. Move over a foot from the chair to the couch. Put the phone down. Good stuff. Good stuff. What is it for you? Let's go do it.
Do you feel stuck or paralyzed with victory? Just out of reach? Here are your questions answered. It's time for ask Pastor Carl.
All right. In just a little bit, Ali's going to give you a link so that you can get your questions in to me here. I do have a slew of them. So at the bottom of each hour I'm going to tackle at least one, maybe more. But this one, when I when I got it, I'm like, oh, there is a lie roaming around in some how do I say this? Some theological circles that is missing the broad side of the barn and that is that going straight to God is not possible, that you need the help
of a man. Now, before I even get to the question, let me say this. We benefit greatly by having brothers and sisters coming around us. No question. But make no mistake about it, every person listening to me right now can go straight to God. Straight to God. You guys guess what the question might be?
Mm. I mean, yes, based on that setup.
It's salvific in nature.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Give it to us.
I'm sure they are asking this for themselves. Greetings, Pastor Carl. If someone prays the sinner's prayer, kneeling alone in front of his bed and accepts Jesus Christ as Savior, does he need someone to pray for him for his salvation to be valid and complete? I need your insight, please. And the answer is no. How do I know this? I want you to know that in First Timothy, we find Paul coaching his young protege, Timothy, and he's laying down some unbelievable theology. But But we got to get
a stake in the ground on this one. Let me back up and read this second Timothy, first Timothy chapter two. Listen to this. First of all. Then I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings may be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high places, and that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified
in every way. This is good, and it's pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God. And there is one mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. He goes on to say, I've been appointed a preacher and an apostle. Toward this end.
But this this may seem simple to some of you, but there's many listening this morning who come from a from a faith background where you needed to go to man to get to God. And I'm here today to tell you that is not true. There is one mediator between God and man. His name is Jesus. And I think I want to think about a solution for this. And I think sometimes we see the biblical narrative and we see Jesus in motion, and we don't take those stories at their word.
What do you mean?
When when Jesus says to the disciples, come and follow me. When we see him sitting down at a well with a woman who had been married five times and currently shacked up, and he offers her eternal life and uses that metaphor of that water well as a as an illustration of that springing up to eternal life. When we see him healing paralytics those born blind when we see him calling tax collectors and sinners to have dinner with them.
That Jesus who lived then is alive today, and he's still having breakfast, lunch, and dinner for anyone who calls on his name. Isn't that hopeful?
It's the most hopeful thing of all time, because it's not about us. It's about his love for us.
And it's not about us going to a man or a woman who can help us gain access to Jesus.
Amen.
The veil has been torn, man. See, the amazing thing about the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ is that the veil into the Holy of Holies, into the presence of God, was secured through the blood of Jesus Christ. And so, in just practical terms, if you want to camp out anywhere, understanding that, you can go straight to Jesus. Appealing for salvation and you don't need anyone. Quote to pray for you to make sure that your salvation is valid and complete. I want you to go to First
Timothy chapter two, verse five. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. And I know for some of you listening, you go, wow, I would have never imagined that that might be a question, but it is because the God of this age has actually twisted the truth and made us think in some faith traditions that we need to go to a person. And here's the power of the gospel is that the person came to us. His name
is Jesus. Yes, his name is Jesus. And the beautiful thing about the incarnation is that, unlike the Old Testament, where we had to go to a priest who would walk us into the Holy of Holies or take our requests before God, we now have them in the person of Jesus Christ. He loves you and he cares for you, and you can go to him today. As a matter
of fact, I feel prompted. Some of you have thought you've got to get cleaned up, or you've got to go to a man or you've got to go, um, confess to a person who maybe somehow will get me straight with God. I'm here to tell you today, God so loved the world that whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life. I don't care if it's a sinner's prayer. I don't care if it's driving down the road. If your heart is broken before God
and surrendered before him. If you recognize in this moment I'm a sinner who needs a savior. I am a sinner who needs a Savior. His name is Jesus. You can go straight to him today and say, Jesus, forgive me for my sins. Thanks for dying for me. I bow my heart before you. Yeah, it's not even about bowing your head. It's not getting the posture, your body just right. It's not even kneeling on the floor. It's a heart that's kneeling low before God. We are justified
and made right with God by faith alone. No one needed to be there but you and God. And then you get up off that floor. You lift up your chin and you go tell people what Jesus has done for you. Is that you today, my friend? You need salvation. So let me ask you, do you believe that Jesus died for you? Good. Do you believe you needed that? Because you can't do it. Good. Do you believe he rose again and is alive today? Because you feel and you are experiencing not only the conviction of sin, but
the comfort of coming to him. That's God's work. And right now, today, if it's been an epiphany, I can surrender to Jesus without the help of a of another man. We want to help you in your new walk of faith right now. If today is your day of salvation, one mediator, Jesus Christ Himself, and you've gone straight to him, confessing your sin and the need for the Messiah, the Savior of the world, to save your life. We want to help you right now. Pastor Carl, what if the
temptation comes from within me? kind of scared of asking you this, but what have you yourself is the one who is doing the tempting first. You're spot on, James, the half brother. Jesus said, temptation born of lust gives birth to sin. So there's a couple different kinds of temptations. There's the temptation that comes from outward things, and there's things that come from inward flesh. That's ourselves. And unchecked we can get in trouble with that. He goes on,
I am a Christ follower. I'm born again. But then he goes on and it's a little bit graphic here, so I'm not going to get into a little ear warning. I'll just say. He goes on to describe what trips him up with regard to his eyes, and it deals with women and sexuality and all that stuff. That is very real. First, let me say this. When you find yourself gripped by sin, missing the mark. That's no longer temptation.
You've taken the bait and that needs to be repented of, brought into the light, and then you deal a swift blow to it. That is critical. And I'm going to give you a link here in a moment, because some of you are struggling with who knows what. And you're like, how in the world am I going to get victory over this? But I haven't even alluded to this on this show yet. But there's something very solidly biblical about
building boundaries. I'm talking moral boundaries. I'm talking relational boundaries, and I'm talking spiritual boundaries. And what boundaries do are it stops feeding something that keeps coming back. And there's ways, my brother, that you can deal with this temptation even within yourself by building boundaries around your life. I've got birdfeeders at home, front yard, back yard. When I put sunflower seeds in those feeders. Guess what? These birds keep
coming back. When I stop feeding these birds, they go away. You got to starve, sin. You got to quit feeding it. And you got to get yourself in a position where you're not feeding sin. I don't care what issue this is. Let me give you a few to cogitate on here. Boom crew for all of you. If you make purchases impulsively, devise creative ways to make them more challenging. Don't carry credit card. So one person I know has a trusted friend look at their spending ledgers for a few months. Breaks.
That puts boundaries there. If you're trying to curb your appetite, get healthy or lose weight. Avoid having foods in your kitchen that are going to tempt you to overindulge. Just don't even make these less accessible. Starve it out. If wine, beer, hard liquor, drugs are owning you, get them out of easy reach. Distance yourself from company. Yeah. People that cause you cause you to stumble and get trusted friends to pray for you and support you. If social media or
TV are devouring your time, limit your electronics. Get passcodes to a spouse or friend. A device doesn't only give you access to the world. It gives the world access to you. And some of you know that full well. So here's here's what I'd say. Temptation is common to man, but God has provided a way of escape. And we know that Jesus was tempted in every way and without sin. But it is a wise thing to put moral, spiritual, relational boundaries up in your life. Some of you find
yourself on this sin shame, repent, repeat. Cycle. Like my brother who emailed me here because you've not put up boundaries. Some of us think, well, we're just at the mercy of what's going to come our way. No. Construct your life in a way I don't care what you're up against. Even if it's gossiping in the lobby after church. God bless you. The Spirit of God convicts you that go to your friends and tell them I am so convicted.
I've been gossiping. Would you help me with this? I know it takes courage, but this is what courageous disciples do who bear fruit. And you want that. So this whole issue of boundaries and killing sin. I'm going to be bold here and tell you there's a place you can go to get some help. It's been out for weeks now, and if you haven't heard this yet, or maybe the time is now, I want you more than anything else, especially this chapter on boundaries around your life.
Because you've got to quit feeding what's been killing you. You got to starve it, and God can help you. And we've got a path forward. I want you to check this out if you haven't done it yet. Young Thunder's got a link right now.
Yeah. This is to Carl's book, Killing Sin. Conquer. The one thing that is defeating you, it's scripture based. It's not just Carl's thoughts floating around in there. This is all for that. This is all from the word of God. And it will help you conquer the one thing that's defeating you. We truly believe it. Just text the word conquer to 855, 78, 98. That's c o n q u e r to 855 five 7898.
And Godspeed to you. I love you all, I really do. This is a fun segment. Monday's bottom of the hour, but boundaries is huge.
Oh, it's so big.
It's big man. I mean, we are not at the mercy of this wacky world that we live in, in these devices in particular, or gossip or whatever it may be, you can get creative and come up with ways to put boundaries around this, and I cover that in one whole chapter, so check it out. Text the word conquer right now. Just the word conquer to 805, 55, 78, 98. And quite frankly, this is one of those words that phonetically doesn't look like it's spelled. It doesn't sound like
it's spelled at all. Correct c o n c o n q u e r. Conquer to 855 five 7898. I want to help you take your next step with Jesus and this whole issue of killing sin, getting off that stupid sin shame, repent, repeat madness cycle can end, my friend. It can end and I don't care what it is. Let God do that work in you. Just text the word conquer to 855 five 7898. Well, coming up, I've got a question for you right now if you took because we're dealing with marriage all week long here.
If you took a look at your marriage. What is that thing? That most rips you off from love. And usually it's simple little things. What does that behavior or that issue in your marriage that if you're not attentive to it, it's going to rip you off blind? Think about that a second. Think about that. And if you got a response to that you can text us here as well right now. What is that thing that if you're not attentive to it in your marriage, it's going to rip you off and it's going to take what
could be robust intimacy and turn it into glorified roommate status. Text. Is your response to that one right now? I'm not going to read out numbers or names on air. I would just love to hear from you. 805 55 7898 805 55 7898.