And one of them is just says to take ownership. Mm. You know, and I really embody that ownership part of it all. It's like, you, you, you know, if, if you don't take ownership, then you're not gonna enjoy life. I don't think, you know. Mm. I think, I think my happiness lies in me taking ownership. And, and now that I take ownership, man, I feel alive. You're listening to just keep living the glass house conversation where there are no stones thrown.
This podcast is a judgment free zone for free thinkers who value personal growth and mental health. We're all about inspiring and empowering others all while creating safe spaces to have difficult conversations. Join us every week. As we have fun, get vulnerable and go deep answer each's questions on a range of topics from sex to religion and everything in between. And we do, we just trying to figure out, like always said, just welcome to the show. Ooh. Ooh. We are fondly bad.
Yes. Woo. Yes. And we just gonna call this season. We've been living you glad about that. We've been, it's a lot of changes. That's happened since we've recorded. Um, I had a baby mm-hmm Uh, what you got pee P would make big deals. Really? Yeah. Like blowing up big bank, take little bake, money moves, but you got shot of, um, is it air baptism? I had air baptism and I got to participate in air baptism. Cuz I'm the one that got baptized in the air. Woo. Yes you did.
I dunno what they talking about, but I know it's good. You be good. And then our biggest Joe, let them know what happened. I am out the mother Navy's. Cow I'm free. Dammit. Woo. Woo. Yes. I should have brought the cowbell in here. I know, right? Yo, when she pulled that out the game. Yeah, I was everything I did not was everything. No, you really see my grandma. I did not even see that thing. Come in. I love the support. I love it.
It was not expected, but I'm gonna let you, it was amazing lives in the stroller bottom. Oh, you tell him what we talking about. You created the moment for those people that saw that come. I thought it was normal. My kids told me that was country to have a cowbell, but I was like, I thought that's common that people have a, a bell when you play football. No, it's very country in Texan. Texan. Do it. There we go see, is it a Southern game? Southern day? I dunno. Mm-hmm but you did it.
Yes, girl Jojo's game and it was awesome. Did Jojo scored three, three touchdown touchdown. One boy was playing the game, man. He knew this was his last one. the boys Kurt ass. How did it go? I said, Jojo gets upset. when his teammates are not doing what they supposed to do. He, he, he get mad at the coach. Right? You wanna go home or you wanna play game? I mean, it's valid. It is when they take Jojo out, he knew he run touchdown. So it's like, mm, I get it. How, how do you go with that one?
What do you tell the child? Yeah, I'd be like, I, I got you on that. You know, I just told him, Hey, you know, I I'd be mad too, you know? Yes. But, uh, we, we showed him how to block. Yeah, you showed 'em how to block, but I let him, I'd be mad too. Cause I wanna win. I can't lie to him. Be like, I don't wanna win. I wanna win. And I wanna continue to win. You know what I mean? I got Y on this. Tell us, tell us, Jen, tell us this is the positive in life.
Mm-hmm you gonna have to work with people you don't like. Mm. Okay. Now mm-hmm, the best thing you can do, cuz you only good as the weakest player on your team. Mm-hmm come on is to help them, help them, help yourself. So that's why you gotta block. Yes. Huh? Sometimes you gotta push 'em in, they back tell 'em getting the right place. Oh, wait a minute. Come on, come on. But that's that's life. You don't always get to be with people that you you're right. Wanna play with preach and work with.
And not, that's not how it works. That's called working for yourself. Wow. Self-employed if that's what you wanna do. Okay. But you gotta learn how to work with people that are not where you're at in life, and then you still not. Self-employed when you are. Self-employed mm-hmm On the shoot that that was a bomb drop. It was, it was, I wasn't ready for that cow belly yeah, but that's, that's it? I think it was good, cuz I didn't know.
I was like, what's the purpose of flag football, but I'm like, okay, you learn in positions. Mm-hmm you learn, anytime you working on a team, you learn how to work with other people and which can be the most challenging thing. Mm. For all of them. I hate group projects. if I was to get interviewed today, how do you do, do you prefer to work by yourself or with groups? I'm like I could do both inside. I wanna be by myself all the time.
If you want to be responsible for anything, I need to be by myself. Thank you. That's not what they want to hear. What about, what about zoom? Mm, zoom is wonderful. What the video on that? We all We could all be together that's you know, and we can collaborate. Okay. Okay. And that would be wonderful. Deep inside. I don't wanna see the motherfuckers on zoom either. send me an email. Oh my God. Better yet. A text. Oh man. That's it's it, man. So we've been living.
Yes. Yes. So we have a lot of stuff coming to you guys this season. Um, today we're gonna talk about Joe getting out and what he's, what his plans are and what he's doing and how y'all can help. Um, We got a little bit, we're gonna talk about somebody's journal entries. One of our mom's journal entries. Mm-hmm we're gonna call it dear mama.
Um, if you have a mom that would wouldn't mind sharing some of her old diaries or good stories, you know, right into us, our email is, um, that just keep living podcast@gmail.com. We want to read your mama's journals. Ooh, that's gonna be good. I hope so. Some of y'all about your dad's. We wanna know why you and your third cousin look like twins. Yeah. Yes. Come on. No, I think writing in journals is the lost art people. Don't really do it. No more to write your secrets down in here.
Mm-hmm that's true. What happens if I lose this? Mm-hmm mm-hmm I just take stuff to my grave. Wow. Gonna write it down. Yeah. Cause now how it's gonna. Come out. You never write it down. Perceptions that somebody get a hold of it. Right. It's gonna come. Yeah. You know how much time I spend in the pen? Somebody got my thoughts. And not only that is not a safe place because it's like, everybody's perception is not choice. Unless you're the one telling the story.
Mm-hmm, it's from your perspective, it's from your perspective, like you can literally turn what I was seeing as a struggle as something like what's, what's your, what was the problem? the complaining about exactly. That's why we wanna read it so we can, you know, discuss it cuz we probably all gonna have a different perception or response to it. So I can't wait to hear about that. That's why he tell the story before anybody else can.
True. True. I'd be like, I'm the only person tell my story as long as I'm alive. I agree to that. They gonna be lying on me when I'm available. exactly. What else we gonna talk about this inner and blonde? Oh yeah. That was a dope experience. We all have to hear about that next time. We just, this is gonna get better and better. Cuz the first time me and Jenna went, you know, don't have to talk about, we talk about that. Our food from trader Joe's and our little boxes.
We was looking at everybody else there. Right. I left like, oh dang. But I know at the same time that we felt like, you know, it was such a good experience too. It was regardless, but yeah. Yeah. It was a great experience and actually seeing more of us. Yeah. Like yo, I was like, wow, we weren't just specs in, you know, certain areas we had the entire 6% of San Diego had two dinner dinner. It was amazing. It was.
That looks, we're gonna talk about me having a baby and what that looks like at age 39. You don't even like you had a baby. No. Two days when you came back, you didn't like you had a baby didn't look, I think it was two days. She looked like she had, I, oh, he finally two pictures where you look pregnant. There you go. the whole nine months I'll be looking back at things. Just like, I think I look pregnant there. Maybe not, no girl, have you. I mean the vision board. Oh yeah.
Vision board that you was pregnant and ain't nobody. No, they sure didn't they did not know mm-hmm yeah, but it still was amazing. Yeah. Like, wow guys. And even at that, we had that these parties that we did, you know, that that might be good ways of just like seeing people who, you know, involved. What they got vision board. It's the VI, the people who did that vision board. Oh yeah. They gave us pictures and stuff. Oh yeah. Of their vision. And some, a lot of them came in the past.
They was like, I had that on my vision board. Y'all see this. And so we would need to definitely make sure we do that one before friend who had the baby on hers and she's pregnant this year. Mm-hmm, the one who has the, um, venue. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's right. And, um, little, uh, what's the call? Where her venue is at. It's kind of it's in near old town, old town. That's it? Yeah. Old town. Yes. Damn. It's called F mm-hmm Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was cause we talked about having a baby.
Yes mm-hmm yeah. Yeah. She was saying that she's getting older and she wanted to have a baby. And then I look on Instagram and I was like, wait, you pregnant just a couple months later. She's having a little girl. Oh, see, let's go. We need to have her back for this vision board party. That's coming. Cause she put that on there. Yes she did. Yes, she did so interesting. That'll be we got a lot of stuff. Y'all cause we've been living, keep living. So speaking of parties.
Shauna got Joe really good with a surprise party. She did. Shall we start there? It was so nice. She did. Hey, that's the first time. Yeah, I just wanted it to be the same. Just the experience that he had. Not only that it was. Um, so captain America is somebody who has, who has he has been called for, um, day one. It's just the personality that he had. So going into the military, I gave him a captain America cake.
So coming out of the military and pulling the shield of money mm-hmm is just that the emphasis of his new journey moving toward, out of the captain America, you know, set up. I didn't know that. Yeah. I was trying to figure out where the captain Morgan came from. I was, I thought it was just the red and, uh, blue. No, it wasn't, it wasn't, it was very first time going into the military.
I got him going in, um, a go away party and, um, we had it in Texas, had a lot of people come out and I surprised him when the captain America kick, cuz he just always gave that persona for people. And people always called him. You, you captain America, you captain America. I think I still got the posters from when we. They wrapped up. Yeah. When we had my party. So my purpose for this cake was it was the transformation that you're the experience that you're taking in this next move.
So you're pulling the shield out of the cake and you know, the money that's coming behind. It is just the, the, uh, I guess the picture that I'm trying to like, get people to you to see if anything, cuz this is a move that you are making for you. So you're, you're like transforming out of this camp journey for yourself. I like that. That was good, babe. Right. I did get all that symbol. I do remember the captain American cake.
I do remember us having that party and that was the first house we brought together. Mm-hmm the very first house. And I was like, yeah, have y'all bought some houses, separat. No. I mean, we've always like together. I was like, okay, tell us. No, I don't think I can't even remember business, but I can't even remember when we was not together day. Yay. Definitely. We got that house built, but yeah.
Um, when I, when I went, it was a, it was, it really was a sad time because, um, I had just stopped teaching cuz I didn't know if they were gonna lay me off or not because the economy had crashed. So they were laying off special ed, you know, they were getting rid, they were putting kids back into the classroom. Mm-hmm so they were getting rid of a lot of special ed teachers and exactly no child left behind.
Yeah. So I did came to pass, so they really didn't need special needs people, you know, they were getting, they were getting rid of special ed, a lot of special ed programs. Like that's horrible. Yeah. Like they are now putting the special needs kids into the classrooms before they used, used to have different aids and different classrooms set up for your, for the special needs. Yeah. So I did. So I did behavior management.
For, for kids who had ed, you know, like they were, uh, a child dysfunction, no emotional disorders. I couldn't resist. I was about to be like, what do y'all know ed to be? I know that I was talking, I know what he was talking about. Two listeners, you gonna take a, I was about kids. If kids got that, take that mama. I did that for, you know, it was a while. Yeah. And then, so when I, when, when they were, uh, About to lay people off. I didn't know what I wanted to do.
I had an English degree, so I didn't see the biggest time. I really saw it back then is I didn't know who I was. And I was still trying to figure out who I was. Right. So it was about what I did that brought value, not who I am, that brought value. So I was always out seeking jobs that were going to, that. I thought my skill would be good for. That would then I could bring value to there. You kinda get what I'm saying. Mm-hmm And so I was, that's why I, I was always seeking money.
That's why I was got those big depressed states. Mm-hmm because I was trying to find who I was never feeling fulfilled. You know what I mean? And you're just running out of you're feel like you're running out of time. You're running out of, you know, energy. You're just tired. He, you would Excel though. That would be getting me. He would Excel to the top. It was, to me, it was almost like, oh, well I've done everything. I've gotten all the hype cuz they used, they gave him teacher of the year.
Like he excelled like that every time. And then he was like, oh, I'm bored. Let me try another, let me try. That was, you know, you know, another direction in something else that I'll thrive in because I'm already there, but that's how people seen him. Yes. That's not how he seen himself. Mm-hmm mm-hmm so I love that. He said that like the seek and the validation outside of you, not within mm-hmm and just like that we back in podcast. I know. That's what I love. That's real it's man. So true.
I'm seeking outside of me every day. And you would fulfill those roles because it was just checking boxes. It was easy to do. And that's what I learned to do. Mm-hmm you know, as a kid, when I was growing up, anything that brought me attention was because of what I did. You know what I mean? I, I, I got applauded. I got applauded when I played football. I got applauded when I got good grades. I got applauded. When I learned how to study, I got applauded.
You know, when I did all, when I did something, not just for saying, oh, you're cool. You're cool. Did you? Yeah. You didn't get you was enough. Yeah, no, I didn't know. I didn't. And so, and so that's how I became very like, um, I can understand people's feelings really well because I could read the room really well because I would go somewhere and that's how I had to get around. Mm-hmm I had, I had to know, you know, what, you know, what you were thinking, how you were feeling.
So I could please that. So the, the faster I could get that, the faster I could get recognition. So that's why I can feel people's pain really bad. Like really I could feel somebody's like, you know, when they're going through. And so when I went to the military, I started over at the bottom. You know, I remember when I was 27 and I'm scrubbing toilets on my knees with a toothbrush in a submarine.
What's the purpose of that because, you know, you don't take really big objects down there, like, and so we just, and we're, you have to be very clean on the sub, anything like, you know, sickness wise, um, dust, dust carries, you know, it, uh, the way it is, you can, you know, catch fire and all that type of stuff. Oh. So you gotta be extremely clean, but it was a humbling experience because I'm 27 and my boss is 19. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm, he's telling me what to clean.
He's telling me what to do. You know, I'm pulled away from the world, you know, four months at a time we're under the water. So I can't talk to Shauna and they have this beater ass car. I never forget it's that Toyota that are good friends gave us. And so, you know, I don't know if she's like, I don't know what's going on. I have no contact like nothing. And so when I'm sending emails out, I gotta send, Hey, I love you. I'm fine. Because anything else in that we will go up.
My mail's not top priority. It's messages going to the government, you know, going to our Boston back, like where we at, how we doing location. If we are, if we're up long enough, then I might get her email. If we're not, I gotta go back down and it could be like, you know, days and weeks, we don't hear it from each other. So you talk about like all that time together till we just split, you know?
And I think that, I think that was the hardest not knowing if they were okay or not, you know, under that the whole time. And then we were so. I had lost such a, we had lost such a big pay cut when we would hit ports. This how I met Brad, when we hit ports, I couldn't go anywhere. Brad from first season. Yep. Brad from first season, first to second, he second season, season, second season entrepreneurs. So this how I met Brad, cause Brad saw how hard I was working on the sub to get qualified.
And he was like, he liked my work ethic. Plus me and him were the only ones down there that worked out. Nobody works out on stuff like barely you don't, you don't really have all the equipment. Plus you're like, you're there all day. It's like living in this house for four months. Not going outside. You know what I mean? No sunlight, no sunlight. Cause all the blinds close, everything. You don't even know what you don't even know what time of day it is only by the meal you eat. Right.
Whoa. And so, um, we would work out together and he, you know, he would take me into his wing. So anytime we would go to port, he saw that I wasn't going anywhere. He was like, yo, you good? I was, you know, so I kind of explained to him my situation and he, he took care of me ever since we would go out, man. He had me living in like. The best hotels mm-hmm we were eat. I mean, we were eating like salmon, you know what I mean? Just like they would bring home food to cook just all that stuff.
Anytime we hit a port and this how we, me and him, we became really good friends. And so, and he stood up for me when I had a purpose for being on the sub. My family needed money. Mm-hmm a lot of those guys, they didn't. So I qualified so fast. Right. You have to qualify to get your, your, your dolphins to say that, okay, you're a sub Mariner. Now you, you can fight this ship. You can save the, you know, how to, you know, stop with fires.
You know, what the electrical system, you know, you know, the, uh, you know, all this, the nuclear system, you know, all that stuff on the ship, I mean, on the boat, right. You get your fish? I was doing it so fast. They didn't, they thought I was lying. They thought I was cheating. what you knew how to study though. I didn't know how to study. That was something you phrased. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was phrased for. Studying. Studying is a skill though. Cause I Lord knows. I can't study.
Save my life. I started drawing shit. Singing then got up and started whole new project. You were like, what the fuck. It I'll be a dummy forever. I'll never doing this. Yeah. That's just real ADB for real. You're right. Keep going back. No, I had to learn. I had to learn to like sit down and get it, sit down and do it. You know what I mean? So, so I did it fast and they brought in, so they brought in people from another ship. They brought all my cap.
I mean, brought my captain like another, another CMC was like the chief of the boat from another. It was like so many people in there that board was like four and a half hours trying to get through how to draw the system. They were testing me on everything and I passed, but Brad was in there to, you know what I'm saying? He like, he always helped me. Mm-hmm and so when I got over all that. Um, that's when I put into becoming an officer and Brad was an officer, so I was enlisted.
I came in at, oh, you went to dive school. I went to, oh yeah. I went to dive school. I dare forget man, dive school. Now we don't even know black people that swim. So about dive school. That was some shit, shit. that? Was you talking about being a spot in the, a sea of people? Yeah, of course. It was like three of us out 500 oh my gosh. In that car year. So this is the same school he went to. Oh, it's the same school. He went to what?
Yeah. So that big thing on your head that was back in the day. Now, now we have like, that's upgraded upgrade, upgrade the walls of above. That's what I, they, they have, they have stuff like that now, but it's not, it's not like, not like that. This is a re-breather. I understand. I D I saw movie there. They put that, they put that on the it's heavy when I was in. Who did that on a vacation? Hold on. I was with my sister Aruba. You could, you know, it was like an excursion. Oh yeah.
That's how they would give you oxygen. Mm-hmm and then water come up. Yeah, it was it's heavy. I remember that bad boy is heavy. Wow. Well, when you get the water lighten up, cause the air and the right. Cuz then they have you walk down this little ramp. So you go down and then you can tolerate it. But when you just send the water with it on there, hold met muscles. Can we go down his ramp? We Nah, we went, I went to dive school cuz there's this chief.
He was a white guy and I'll never forget they were doing a, so you have to have a dive to go under, um, on the submarine with you at all times. Right? Cause we have to do stuff like seals need to lock out. We help them lock. We have to go under the sub, like and clean the sub, you know, with our tank. So I'm cleaning the pit swords. I'm cleaning under the bottom of the subs. I have a question. What would you see when you was cleaning under the sub? Share that with our listeners.
What's the craziest thing you've seen in the ocean? I don't know the biggest sea lines, them things that be sitting like in their tons, like couple tons. And when we were in Washington, I would always have to get in and them things would swim around. So you're just seeing shadows, just going around Uhuh, not the shadows. I'll be scared. I was under just like screw and nuts. So left over. Yep. I can't furniture. He got pieces left over. Yeah. I'm I'm praying the stuff don't go down.
let's make it to the point. no. So you had to, when we did that, oh, so I was in the gym one day and everybody has to, you gotta take this test. You gotta swim, run pullups pushups and all this stuff, you gotta get a certain time to go. And nobody passed on the. But I happened to walk into the pool and it was like, oh yeah, black people don't swim. And they were joking, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, all right, you know, so I got water.
Yeah. I got the water and I beat 'em all only thing I had beat 'em in was to run. Cause I don't fucking run no more And so we were going on the way and the captain was like, Hey, I were like, can you go, you know, be a dive cuz we need one. Our dive had just left. And he was like, um, could you, would you consider doing it? And I was like, no, I don't really wanna do it. And at this time I was smoking cigarettes bad. I had picked up cigarettes really bad.
And so I went out to, to the smoke deck and I was, I was smoking cigarettes. Nobody used to come home with them cigarettes. And, and when I was out there, this chief said, um, somebody said, I heard you pass, you know, the PST to go swim. And his chiefs was like I said, yeah, I'm not gonna go. The chief said you wouldn't make it anyway. Oh. And I said, huh, challenge. He was like, he was like, he was like, yeah, he was like, you wouldn't make it. Anyway.
First of all, he was like, you smoke cigarettes. And he was like, you know, you know, Really black people don't, you know, they don't really do well in the water. She y'all drowned us. Yeah. And a lot of us survived so I put my cigarette out and I went to the captain and I said, Hey, I said, I'll go that same day mm-hmm And then what about that? And it was crazy where you said, what, well, what, well, keep going, keep going.
Keep. No, it was crazy because a couple weeks before I had dislocated my shoulder playing like basketball and I could barely do a push up. And I was like, yeah, I was Michael, you were Michael Phelps, like weed and Michael was doing it all part dolphin. So I remember, I remember I went and went to dive school and I was scared shitless. Yo. Cause I didn't really, I didn't practice for it. And they make you, they make you, uh, tread water, like a lot. And I like doggy pedal. Yeah. With your hands.
Yeah. With your hands, like outta the water? No. Yeah. So the first, when you first get there, they tie your hands behind your back and tie your feet like this and they put you in, like, it was like, think it was like 13 or 14 feet and you just gotta sit there for. 15 to 20 minutes. So they had a drawing proof for like 20 minutes. So usually most people would, they would float near the top of the water.
Like here, it's this top of the water in the bottom of the pools here, they would float and they would kick up a little bit, get air, come down. They float here. I was sinking to the bottom to 14 feet all the way to the bottom and had to jump off, kick all the way up, come back up for 20 minutes. So I do that for 20 minutes, but when I first got there, the, all the divers were like, you gotta float. They were yelling at me and everything. I was like, man, I can't float, man.
I there's nothing I could do. I cannot float. And the master diver came out and was like, leave him alone. As long as he don't panic, he was like, he's not gonna float. It was three black people there and we all passed wow. Doing it wrong. And 50 and, and 50% of the it's no, it was a, it's a 40%, no, 50% of the 60% attrition. Most people don't make it. And you gotta realize when I went, I had no roommate. Right. Cuz you usually go with a partner.
Usually they'll send two at a time from a command to go. Right. Cause they usually, you know, that way, when you go to your back to your barracks, you're like, damn man, this was a hard day. But yeah, we can do it. I had to go to my barracks room by myself every day after getting beat. So you get up at like four or five in the morning, you get back at like nine to 10 at night. And you know, that's when most people, they wouldn't just show back up. They just quit. They quit man.
Once time this kid got caught shit in the bushes, right? The captain came down. Yeah. Why would you shit in the Bush? Because the bubble guts, he had to, he had him bad. He was nervous. He got caught, he got caught. Right. They put us on the back of this ramp and you had those mask. You had to fill up with water and right. That cover your nose.
So they put him on the, they put us on a ramp lane, head down towards, and you, they were doing flu kicks and they were spraying water in your mouth, water hose. And we had to sit there for like, it was like we had to do 200. Then we had to do that. And then we had to go do this base swim, which is the base swim is like 500, 600 yards on your back. And you gotta pedal down and this big inlet, you can't even, I mean, it's gotta be like 2d streets maybe.
And you gotta screw 'em down to one cone back around and down in less than 20 minutes. And we all failed. We had to do that like three times the next day, I wanna say, I think we had like 30 people in our class. The next day we had like 19 people it was like gone. I, what is in your mind? They were like gone. They were like to not be one of those people, cuz I'm telling you. Part of this story.
I would've been like Doy like B and get they, they were doing it cause he wanted you to quit throwing up. Oh my God. But the salt water, like it's called release. Like, uh, when you, when you release the pressure, it has to go through your nose. So it happens all that salt water drains through your nose and has to come out your mouth. So you on ramp like this saline, drip, and when you like release it, your nose, your nasal, your nasal pass, it opens up and it comes to your mouth.
So you're just choking on water, trying to get it up. And then they make you, if you, if you do that, you gotta get back up with these big eye, your flippers on, and you gotta walk back down to the bay and the water is black, like dirty it's in Florida, like dirty you gotta go pick it up. I back you said it like that. It's in Florida. Y'all it's dirty. Let y'all know S and stuff. And then you had to go down there and put it back up and get lay back down.
And anytime it cleared, you had to go back up. So be you throw up everywhere. It was nasty. How long is dive in school, man? Was it a, when I was there? What? A month and a half, maybe. Mmm, something like that. So what are the rewards for graduating diving school? You become part of the special warfare of the Navy. I mean, really you get a little stipend that's about it and shit else. Mm it's the challenge, the challenge. That's what I was asking before. It's a challenge for you that right?
With the challenge, continue. I just didn't wanna go home. I didn't wanna fail my family. Mm Hmm. Cause I was at extra 150 bucks. It wasn't much, but it was extra hundred 50 bucks. Damn you did you almost drowned every day for extra hundred extra, 150 bucks month. It wasn't much. Wow. But going through diving school gave you other opportunities. It did because when I put in my officer package, it was a lot I had, I had, it says a lot. It did.
I had, I crawled really fast and this is, this is why like, I, I, I really thank God for putting people in my life. So I crawled really fast. I went to dive school. And Brad was really good friends with somebody else on the ship. Um, I'm trying to think of her name. She was, she was so cool. She was an officer. She gave me, she knew the Commodor of, of the, the whole basin ever, the guy who ran the whole base. Right. And she got me an interview with him and I had an interview with him, right.
For, to put him an officer package, cuz you gotta go with somebody higher up mm-hmm and he man, we went in there and I had favor, man. He, we didn't talk nothing about the Navy. We didn't talk anything. He talked about my life. We talked about sports, we talked about something else and he was like, man, he was like, I really love your personality. And he said, he, he on my paper, he, he put the number. He was like the number, like two of something. Anybody I've ever interviewed.
He had been in the Navy for like 27 years. And so when my paperwork went up, I really think that a lot of people saw who he was and he endorsed it and what he put on there. Oh, okay. And I got picked up. I'll never forget checking my email. I was checking my email every day. Like damn man. Cause it was to get outta submarine, man. People like, you have to like tap out usually. Like, it's kind of funny, but if you like, cuz you know, it's Claus mind it, it has to be mental health.
No I'm telling you these, like I had never heard of the pain Olympics or any of that stuff. Right. When we're down there for hours, people watch the pan Olympics for hours. I'm talking about like, I'm like how y'all Olympics pain Olympics. It was old stuff. Like, what is that? It's where it's where people do do stuff. Like they cut the dicks off. Oh no, they stick like bottles in their ass. And they like breaks and glasses and shits is an Olympic for that.
It's just like a loop of videos where people just going space. That's on the dark web. Yeah, man, I guess. Wow. Don't I mean, while you are in a sub, but you gotta realize like, those people are like people listen mine. Yes. It's, it's worse than prison though. At least they get to come out for an hour and it's 12 hours. It's it's 18 hour days. So it's not 24. So you work, you work for six hours. So hours was a fire control technician.
So I sat there and tracked other other submarines, you know, through our, uh, with sonar and a bunch of other stuff we had. So you're sitting at this desk, literally like this, you got like six hours on watch. Then you get off for six hours and that's your off watch time. That's what time you do when you work and you cleaning and you things like that. And you got six hours in the rack and you get up and repeat that cycle. What's the wreck, like sleeping the bed. Yeah. Your bed.
Oh, so 18 hour days when you're on the way. And then you get out and you don't, your time's messed up. And then on submarines every three days, anytime I'm in port, I have to sleep on a sub. So I don't get a weekend off. Like for four or five years, I didn't get a weekend off. I was on subs. I, I had to go back into work. So you know, you, so you have to work that day, stay the night, work the whole next day, then you get to go home. Mm. So that's every three days.
And so, so this was for an extra $150. No, that was just period, period, period diving stuff for $150 was I get to come back. That was just your job. That was just my job. Oh, wow. Yeah. So the diving was an incentive, was an incentive. That's it? So what, how, how did your role change over time? Because it didn't seem like you were, we didn't, we didn't know that version of you did not. You did not. When I got picked up to be an officer, we were just left.
So I left, he ranked up so fast though. They didn't know how to really compute it or put it together. Cuz I kept calling and like, you know, things like we've never seen this before. We've never seen an oh three, um, move to an officer so fast. Usually they E three. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry. E three wrong letters. E three. So we never saw an enlisted person move to an officer as fast as you have. So you have to give us time because there, our paperwork is just like weird. Not it's not comp.
We, we haven't had this done. I wasn't not putting, in't get so I exactly like yo my family man, like I did all this work. You're pay them or not, you know? And they weren't getting, weren't getting paid for a while. No, we were getting paid. Well the E the list. Yes. Was just, I told him, I said, how long you got before we get home? y'all about? Cause I sacrificing, we lost 60 grand 60. We were, we were only bringing in like. I would say 800 a month.
And that was because they take out and that's, if you live on a base, because they take out everything, like, um, they take out for water, electricity and living and well shelter. Should we say when you live on base, that's how that's how much soap, because they take that out. This is all you'll get. That's why I said I can't go nowhere. So if your phone bill or all the other incentives, you had $800 a month for you and Mathias to live, like Joe was in the submarine. Yep. Were you working?
Not at the time I was in school. Oh, and she had, yeah, that's what I'm saying. You see why I'm saying, had to stop working. She to stop working when we were, because I had Josiah and he had just left. Did I have food? Not at the time. No, we didn't looking back. They to back pay y'all if food stamps we did not, we didn't apply. No, we cause my girlfriend said, well, you could try mm-hmm but I'm telling you, we tried.
And it, they said we mm-hmm, but because they counted his, his income, the, all of the gross savings. Oh. So they counted the money that we weren't receiving, you know, like the, for the, yeah, that base the health, the net. Yes, the net. So they counted all of that. So they said, oh, you you're getting too much. So they did, we didn't apply. We couldn't get it. We couldn't get food stamps that's now you see why? I said, I couldn't go nowhere.
I was sitting on the sub and I was like, I didn't nowhere we pulling a port. I sit right there. Cause I was working at the time before he went into the military working, we're making good money. He was making really good money. We were doing what we needed to do, but you know, the change of him, I think in total, like I said, it. Almost when can you get out? Let me know. Let's, let's make this plan down. like, let me know. But that's a lot of sacrifice. That's huge.
Yes. Where y'all started, where you at today, man. And I know, you know, I'll let you tell your story. Why you, why? Well, why did you get out? Joe tell all listeners. I, I, I got out because there's a couple of reasons I got out because I wanted to spend more time with my, my family. Um, that was what nine, 10 years I had spent away from, you know, Shawn and the boys. And I'm seeing them grow up. Mathia is big, you know, and Mathias was six Mathais was six. I was at, I was at school.
I was, I was at the same school. Yeah. That Mathais was going to when he first went and then it just got all that got snatched away. You know, it seemed like overnight. Um, and I, you know, it was my choice. I, you know, I take that, but it was just like, damn like you didn't, I didn't realize how important my, you know, my family was to me. You know, until they, until, so you don't have 'em so I don't have 'em it's lonely. That's right.
You know, mm-hmm and so, and then another reason, you know, it was to me was racism. It's still at, you know, it's still in there. Um, I can't, I don't being in a group where I'm still a minority, you know? Yes, you can be there, but there's an overarching, like mindset and concept that you're dealing. You're having to fight every day with being with the people who aren't like you politics when politics. Yes. I saw it is so it's like, homeboy tells you, you couldn't do it. Mm-hmm yeah.
Like that home was the attitude of your, your superior saying, oh, I'm glad you're not going because you can't. Yeah. Mm-hmm you know, and that's just, you can't go to HR. No. And, you know, and I thought becoming an officer was gonna be different.
You thought that would even up the playing field, even up the playing field, the playing field, coming home, the fact that somebody, you know, he's older now he has his own kid, but now this 19 year old who don't know what life is even starting to be about is telling you how to do this and do that. And you should follow through follow suit or obey me. Yeah. You know, that was humbling. I had to like, you know, to sit there and suck that up. He, I was like, oh my gosh.
And that's when I said, when can you get out? And then he said he had so many years. I said, okay, so you're gonna put this package in. And then what is that? Because I think what you was, we was there for at least two or three years, three and a half years, three and a half years, $800 a month. Mm-hmm Yeah. And then we that's how we're ready. When I, when I picked up it as an officer, we moved right back to Washington state. I picked a ship that was. Supposed to be in San Diego.
Mm-hmm we had just moved to San Diego. I get to, I get to the ship. I pick my orders. Cause I remember being in the room. I said, I will fight all for these orders. The only ones in San Diego, I said, we will fight on the orders that said the ship's going to San Diego. Mm-hmm we get to, I catch the, I catch the ship in Australia. I fly into Australia, catch shit.
soon as I land down, get in the van, they're saying, Hey, in five months, we're Homeport shifting to Seattle, Washington back to Washington. I said, you gotta be shitting me, bro. you gotta be mother. I was like, what? And I got a motorcycle. You lemme tell you something. I had to go to motorcycles, so we couldn't really get a car. I was like, I'm not buying a car right now. You kidding what I'm saying? It's Seattle Washington. I'm riding a J six. That's what y'all were saying in the rain.
J 600, my God it's fleet and raining, snowing. I'm riding this jig every day for 30, 40 minutes in the work. 30, 40 minutes back, I would get in the house. Look, I can't move. It's so cold. I can't move. So I, to make sure that we had a vehicle at the house. So he said, I'll make sacrifice where you I'll just ride my vehicle back and forth my motorcycle back to work. So that way you can always ride my motorcycle. Yeah. The kids with the kids. Oh my God. You can't do nothing.
So I'm like, I'm sitting there. That's a lot of sacrificing sacrificed challenges. Like it was crazy. I'll never forget that I'll never see, had to. When I get in the house, she had to help me get every day, IRES was cold. Like the snowman I, my hands were freezing from talking about it's cold and I'm thinking, man, every day I get off the show, like, God damn, it's dark. It's rainy. My helmet, like, you know what I'm saying?
I'm just hoping like the fucking shit, like I had to keep it cracked because it was fog up. It was so cold and hot and I'm like, fuck. And then rotor's getting in there. I'm gonna, it was a work like I'm just praying to make it home every day. Mm. And then that's when they got a gun pulled on them. Oh yeah. That was an experience. They got a gun pulled on, shot on the boys. Somebody mug y'all well, no, he thought some, it was a bum who thought somebody, um, stole his bike, saying the B word.
Okay. Well it's the truth. Well, crack head. I don't know what you wanna call his man, because he thought somebody has stole his bike. And so he came out bicycle a bicycle. Yes. A bicycle. I'm like a motorcycle or a bicycle bicycle. The one you paddle. He was mad. He came out, pulled his gun, like, yo I better. And me and the boys are sitting here. Like what? So I told the books, get behind me. Cause I don't know what this fool about to do. And he just waving this gun.
Like cuz he mad that somebody St stole his bicycle. It's crazy and I'm not there. Nope. I'm out to see. And that's when transform came about what is transform transform back then was just an idea. An idea how long ago was this? Ooh, man, that was six years ago. 13, I'ma say 2014, because here it is, we went back to Washington. Let me tell you something about Callio with the open mindset, they kind of get you thinking on some things that was our start. Granted. I didn't like it at first.
Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, it definitely where we started at and it just gave us the mindset to wanna transfer form mind, body, spirit, and we start putting it together. Like it was just some idea that word was literally, and I had a friend, I had a friend on the ship, so transform is, was just a fitness thing at first. Right. And I like to talk, so I was just like, you know, and I always love the mind the way the mind works. And so we started as, Hey, it's just, this is just a fitness thing.
I liked, you know, the full change of people, you know, and I had started that change of myself, kind of like, you know, thinking wise and things like that. And so we named the business, I had a friend on my ship whose wife did she graduated with a, uh, degree in graphic art. So she did my design and it set in my inbox for forever and just sat there. And we were planning. We were like, I was like, man, I don't wanna work for nobody.
I don't wanna work anybody, but I didn't know anything else, but this whole, so this whole time, when we moved back here, the same time you got here pee, we started in the garage, this one car garage in a condo with just one weight rack. And I think I got pictures of Sean in there and we tried, we trained one person there the whole time. that? And we did field events. Oh yeah. A lot of field events. I did field events. We across all east lake up and down. Like we have a lot of people out.
What is the field. So the field events, I obstacle courses. no, actually I, this is my last one. It was so dope. And I wanna try it again. I really wanna do it. I put TV, so I bought TVs. I put 'em in. That was the very last one. Put 'em in stakes in the ground, right? Hooked them up to a generator and had pre-recorded video. Yes. At each station. Yes. So I'd have to be at each station. Mm-hmm orange theory. What? Orange theory. I had a bouncy house for the kids house. For the kids.
We had a taco truck out there, taco food for the, we had a DJ had a full DJ. Yep. I mean, yeah, it was crazy. I was doing this for the, we did it at mountain right up. So that's, how's how transform started with talking big groups. And we did. We did also the one over here on Bonita Sweetwater, Sweetwater park. We did, we, that one actually was, came out really? Cause it was the hill that it gives you and stuff. So he put that whole, like, they hope did a whole event, like, um, out there.
And we did at the school, east lake Eastlake, that's where our very first one and a lot of people had showed up. He did all, he did people where they did the sand, the ropes in the sandbox. They did the sandbox. Yeah, they did a whole workout course. A lot of people outside and the pain Olympics. No, I know is Olympics was minutes straight. It was a lot. We had balls out there. We had, we had, we ended up racing at the very end. Yeah. We were loving it. It was groups. It was really nice.
It was really nice. And they won, um, transform shirts. Yeah. We, we had give out transform shirts and bracelets at the time. Yes, it was. It was. It was really nice. It was really nice. I get for race. Hey, the kids already line kids line kids up. Didn't you ain't beat me little. Yeah. That's how, that's how it transformed. That's how it started. Mm-hmm but it didn't really take off because I was complacent. I, I became an officer, so I was making a lot more money.
You was, you had moved past $150 stipend. You're right. I had moved past that. I way past that. And that's why I was telling you P I said, like, being comfortable can kill your dream. And so I got so comfortable, you know what I mean? Like why didn't need to push anymore? Not really realizing that I was so unhappy. You know what I mean? I would be, I didn't realize I would drop to the base and get anxiety. Like, you know what I mean? Like I would have anxiety attacks, not even really.
Really know it, you know, I'm just sitting there freaking out and, you know, then it got worse and worse, Rob, and I'm, you know, I'm driving home crying, you know, I'm at the parking lot, target just crying, you know, late at night, you know, we, we had started arguing a lot. Um, and I was just unhappy. And so, um, we ended up going through all that. And then we met you guys. Mm-hmm we met you guys at the tail, the, our final breakthrough in our marriage.
Yes. And then that's when I was like, you know what? I think this is time for me to get out. I think, I think we're ready. He was ready to transform. I was, I was ready to get out. That's a good one. Yeah, that is good. I love that. You said it was an idea you came up with in 2014. Mm-hmm mm-hmm cause sometimes people, you know, think a business is just success. Mm. I came up with this idea and now look at me, right? Oh yeah, I am successful.
It took three days, but you know, it's not that people don't understand how to, it came as a vision and all the work you've done. So what is transformed today, man? Transform is where you come to realize your dreams, realize who you are, where you come to break the mold and, and free yourself of, and of what you, you know, what you think you are and, and just learn to be free, learn to be, you learn to be authentically like, you know, you, and it's a place it's a vulnerable place.
I'm gonna tell you that right now, it's a place where you come and you're, you're, you're able to be honest with yourself, you know, and grow. And it's a safe, it's a safe place for that. And so, you know, but it is on top of that. It's a fitness. We, we, we, we do that through fitness. We love, you know, to help have people live healthy lives. We touch 'em through changing the way they think of themselves changing the way, you know, they feel about themselves and giving them new vision.
And, uh, that, that's what transformed me is right now. And you know, it's, it's a place for me to be vulnerable. That's why I built it. It's a place where, you know, guys, I'm, I'm, I'm getting out. Like people think I retired, I didn't fucking retire. I ain't got no money. I have no money coming right now. Like $0. I know when people say retired, I'd be like, Joe got out, got out. Mm-hmm you stepping out on some F and believing in yourself, like nothing else. And, and it's all on you.
It's all on me. He betting on him. People talk that shit, but you really on you right now. Really good. And so it's, it's a, it's a real thing of like, that's what I want transform to be. Wow. I want transform to embody that, that, that faith and belief in yourself mm-hmm, you know, because, you know, I had those five to five, um, mindsets to, you know, to be successful. And one of them is just says to take ownership. Mm. You know, and I really embody that ownership part of it all.
It's like, you, you, you know, if, if you don't take ownership, then you're not gonna enjoy life. I don't think, you know. Mm. I think, I think my happiness lies in me taking ownership. And, and now that I take ownership, man, I feel alive. So I would say the best part about being out is that I get to get high, you know? So I love you get to put one in the air. Yes. I love to put one in the air. So, you know, um, and I sleep a lot better. My anxiety's going, my stress is gone.
I wouldn't say all the way going. It's a new type of stress. Okay. So it's a healthy stress. Okay. So, so what direction is transform headed in? Where are we at? Like right now you got like a, a app coming. Let's talk about the, oh yeah. We do challenges, challenges, all that man. So how can people support you and your new adventure? You can support me in my new adventure and I'll give you my website when I'm done, but we are, we are running a new. Challenge. That's coming up very soon.
Um, and the challenge will be to change your life, right? So we're building a foundation. That's going to change the way you think change the way you process things and it'll help you succeed in your weight loss. Um, and we, you know, our model is, you know, well, I say, you know, you never pull, pull little weed. Uh, always pull the weed by. Right. You know, and if you don't pull the weed by its root, it gonna grow, get back again. It'll come right back.
And that's what happens with people's fitness problems. Wow. They'll pull it from the root. Did you pull is the way they think ING? Did you, you know that little weed? I used to water out there. Did you pull it by the root? Oh, I pulled that motherfucker right by it ain't grow back either. We right. You right. You right. She kept water. My read that grew through the concrete, uh, I mean that perspectives, that was mine. Every time I would water it I'd be like, God, what? You see this thing?
It got it. Did guess what? Whatever you water grows. Yes. I don't get a hand clap up something heavy pee. He was like, damn like, wow. Cause what I, it was that deep. It was so yes, that's what, that's what transform is now. And so, like I said, we're coming up with challenges. We have our own app. That's coming out. With these, uh, the challenges you're gonna be able to things do things like, uh, we're gonna walk you step by step through changing your routines, your habits.
How do you kick, you know, the, the eating, the bad eating habits, you know, uh, we we're basing, we're gonna pull this thing from the root. We're gonna help you change the way you think and the way you process these things, because too many people are acting. They're trying to fight it with the action and not the way that you think about it. Mm. You don't understand that. What, what you mean by that, Joe, speak, speak to that system, right?
So what I'm saying is usually this is what happens in life to order of things. You have a, you have a situation, you have a thought about that situation. Then there's an emotion attached to that situation. And then there's an action. Most people are going like, Hey, this situation happens. They think about it. They don't even know what they don't even catch their thought. They think about it.
Now they're reacting because of, you know, an emotional thing instead of understanding the base root of why it is happening. For example, When I would get frustrated with my wife mm-hmm I would get, I would get, you know, angry, like she asked with my mom mm-hmm you know, we talked about this before. Yeah. So already know. So you know what I mean? So I would, and internally I wanted something that would really feel good. So I was, you know, my, my, my thought was like, you know what, forget her.
I don't wanna do, you know, deal with her right now. I'm just gonna go sit down and eat every time I didn't pay attention to none of that. I would just feel, I would feel a certain way. And that would always take me back to eating, eating, eating every time it was eating, eating, eating, until I realized that Joe you're attached to this thought that eating makes you feel well, mm-hmm does it. Yes. But why, you know what I'm saying? What is the real problem?
The real problem is I got a problem with, I have a problem, not my wife. I have a problem with the way that my wife is talking to. Mm, back to that accountability. Yes. Ownership. So it is not the it's. The food is a coping mechanism for the problem. That the way I think that my wife was talking to me, so I needed, I had to go address the way that my thought of the way that I thought my wife was talking to me. it's a lot.
Wow. Yes. So, anyway, so when I went back to her and we, we fixed it, we fixed issues like that. I never had to go back to that state in mind to think anymore, because that problem was fixed. Mm-hmm I didn't need to go back to the food. So I dealt with the real problem. Mm-hmm you know what I mean? And it's just, and then now we're feeding these habits of, you know, okay. So how do I deal with the next problem in my life?
That brings me back to eating mm-hmm now I go figure out the way, you know, what's happening. Why am I thinking this way about it? Now I can address that, which does what it eliminates the eating problem. It's fixing the issue at the root. Yes. I love that. Yes. That's what it is. So we fix the issue at the root, so that's what we help you do, but then you'll also be able to use it in any part of your life, any part of your life. It works anywhere else. Absolutely.
Once you start fixing, but it do. Yes. So what type of support will people get? Because to me getting through things that are hard is the support. Yes. Yes. So tell me about the support. So the, the support for this will be, we have groups, um, and then our, in our groups will have, uh, you know, daily, daily, cha daily challenges, daily things where you're gonna be checking in on, on one another. And we we're building a community. You know, a community to me is, is, is people who.
Care and wanna nurture each other. Um, and so it's not daily challenges. It's like, you know, we're gonna do a checkin. Yeah. Checkin more checkin. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You'll get checkins. Yes. And then, and then with the check-ins you're also gonna get support while I'll be on there either once or twice a week, but it's gonna be where I'm answering questions, you know, mm-hmm, where, where we're talking about things like, okay.
Um, how do you process this way of thinking mm-hmm you know, how do you process the stuff that we're going through to guide to help you guide you through what what's going on? Um, also, we're gonna have, we're giving you another perspective because it's like, you know, some, sometimes we're stuck with a certain way that we think that this thing may be, but I just noticed that when you hear another perspective, you're kind of like, oh, okay. I, I didn't really think about it that way.
Mm-hmm so it's kind of giving you that sense of awareness cuz everybody's triggers and situations are gonna be different. But this, this rule, this rule that you're implying or helping us with is allowing everyone to be able to use it. To apply to different situations yeah. To D situations. Yeah. And so you're becoming aware of it first. It's like lifting the heavy weight. It is go, right. You're doing, that's all, we're doing lifting the heavy weight.
And then after that you get workouts, you know, you'll get, uh, different type of workouts. You can get subscriptions to, uh, uh, so if you don't have a, you know, You can't go to the gym. You have a, my, of workouts you can do at home. A my, of workouts you can do at the gym. Mm-hmm you have all these type of things. You'll have access to you have access to different courses that we're gonna build out on nutrition, on stress, on rest, on recovery, on self-care on rest, rest.
Yes. Rest people don't understand that rest, how rest not resting will mess you up completely. Yeah. And so it, it we'll have all that support on you for, you know, there and it's for your life, you know? Yes. Weight loss is, you know, good for your life, but we want you to, we want you to be stress free. Yes. The mental health side of, yeah. Enjoy it. Why, why, why lose the weight? You don't enjoy it when you fix your head. That weight come, come right off, right off it.
Does you get to the root of the problem? Mm-hmm I love that. Get to the root of, I feel like I need a shirt. That's like a turn up the root that say transform by the root a, I might be on the sun. You. Yes. So for real though. Yeah, but it's that's body and spirit. Yes. Like all that's all in one with support and we not talking about support, like weight Watchers, you know, hounding, you do this, check in, check in, not it ain't that it's just like showing up as you.
Yes. That's what I love about us. It's just being genuinely, you show up how you need to show up, but show up for you. Yes. No one else. Yes. And you got the rest. So what would your motto be? Joe? What would you say? Think fit, act fit. Be fit. Okay. And the reason I say that is thinking is, is, is a mindset, right? To think to, to, to live the fit, to fit life, you have to think a certain way, what is fit cuz that's. So to fit to me, fit to me is a life that you dream mm. Fit is freedom.
Fit is freedom. That's freedom. For me, fit is a life that you dream. It's not about a weight. It's not about a, a size. It's not about it's about you loving you. You feeling good about yourself because not everybody wants a six, not everybody wants a big butt. Not everybody wants all these things. You kind of get what I'm saying. Mm-hmm, it's the thing about what do you want and how do you achieve it?
And that's what that's, that's what we teach, you know, our, our mindset, uh, there, you know, under the think is our five mindsets that you, that you must have. And that just frees you to understand what you're capable of doing. Mm-hmm that there is more opportunity for you that there is more for you once you do that. And you begin to put the actions with the routines and the, and, and the, uh, the habits learning to be mindful. You know what I mean?
That really allows you to become what you wanna become. Yeah. You know, and the, and the be fit once you do the thinking and. You believe it it's gonna come. It's gotta happen. It's fall the line. Yeah. It's fall the line. Mm-hmm you change your spirit. You change, you change all of that. You, you, your whole spirit, you become a new person. You really do.
So you're helping people figure it out because they're ultimately, you know, there's some blockages that they're not aware of in a moment that you're, you're, you're helping them in, in the fitness. They're becoming aware of their own, um, thing that they need to align or their own, you know, creativity. Yes. And, and, and this is the honest truth. This is why I really do this. This is, I want people to understand. The power they have. Oh, good. Because it helps me understand my power.
I have mm-hmm that's working in your gift. That's right. That's the ability to influence. Come on. Yeah, what's the website or the, the app, Joe. The app is called trainer rise, but you can go on the website and sign up from at, uh, www dot MBS, transform fit.com. Mm-hmm Um, you can find it at king solo underscore 1983 on IG and Facebook. Uh, you can find it at transformed mind, body and spirit. Okay. So I think a lot of people may not know this too. Um, Joe, what was your highest weight?
Oh, I was man like 2 80, 2 90. And how tall are you? Five 11. Okay. So I lost, yeah, I lost what, when I was 20 man before all that Navy stuff happened, I lost over a hundred pounds. Mm-hmm I lost it off and I've kept it off for the last 14 years, which is to me, that's success, keeping it off is the hard part. Yes. Getting down, getting down, be easy, keeping it off, getting down, getting down, be easy.
So, yeah, so I did all that realized I wasn't happy, found true happiness and really the way that I thought process life and you know, that's what I, I wanna give to everybody. Wow. Wow. I have one, one question as we wrap up the conversation is, I mean, hearing about these stories and being in the military, it is a sacrifice. So first off, thank you. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for and shout out to Brad. We love you, Brad. Brad used his gift.
Y ought understand how you tap into yourself and you pour into others and see what happen. Mm-hmm what do you, what do you feel like you're most grateful for in taking from that experience that makes you the person to be transformed, fit? You know what I mean? Like what's the connection? What are you grateful for that you're bringing from that experience into this new venture for you. Man. Um, it, man, that's a good question. You know, it's, it is taught, but it's taught me so many things.
Mm-hmm the, the, the one biggest thing that has taught me is that if you don't, if you man, if you don't listen to your body, like your body will make you listen to it at one point, at some point or the other, I have gotten so miserable in the Navy that I began to break down. I literally did. Uh, but the other thing that has taught me is organization. I was very unorganized, oh, I need to go in the military. And so, oh my bad. You know, you know, it, it taught me, it has taught me a lot.
Like it taught me to be organized. Cause I was my job. I had man, I was over ammunition on my, when my officer career. So, so I was over all the bullets, all the guns all the way. So if that go missing, that's my ass. You know what I mean? Any of that, that stuff. So I had to count all these bullets.
I had to count all these weapons to organize another thing it taught me was that different types of leadership and the type of leader that I, that I aspired to be in the, in the, in the military leadership is done by, by force. And I was never a good leader to them because I never led by force. And I think Morgan Freeman said this one time about why he got out the Navy. He was like, I don't like the way that they lead people.
Why, why do I need to yell at you to tell you, you know, to go do something, you know, mm-hmm and that was me. And so I never, they never, it was never a, um, you know, an, an officer or military type leadership, the way that I did it, you know, I wasn't boisterous, I wasn't this, I couldn't use my gift. It STD my gift. And that, I think that's what really hurt me the most was because I, I couldn't connect with people that I liked. Do you feel like you weren't aware of that gift though?
Yet, because here it is. I'm just saying, even though he went to the military, he didn't like it. So when he, you know, he didn't bring it back, you know what I'm saying? He didn't like it. So it's like, you know, it's like, you are aware of things and you do what you need to do in that moment, you know, to get through and to get life, to get by. But you're not attaching to none of these things that can continue to help you be the person that you are in the future.
And well that's because, or when you went to transform, it kind of looked as if it helped you. It realized that, okay. The thing, the very thing that I may have been running from in a way of organization mm-hmm and leadership is the very thing that I need to attain again for my own in entrepreneurship. Yes. And I, I, I do agree with that. I do, I do use the organizational skills that I use, you know, in the Navy to do what I, you know, what I've done. um, organized.
Cause I've built everything myself from the website. There's nothing I have outsourced ever to build this. You know what I mean? Any electronic, you see anything you see on there has been built by me. So I did use that for that, what I didn't realize. And this is why I'm careful with my boys is what I thought was a weakness was actually my power because everybody showed it to me as a weakness when I was growing up. So I didn't know, my, my emotion side was actually my, my gift.
The vulnerability is a gift. Mm-hmm I didn't know. I didn't know emotions. I didn know it was a gift. I can feel the room. I can feel you. That's how I can connect with people. That's how I can understand it. My thing. Pain. That's how you can lead pain is the way through. Yeah. That's how it can lead to me. Pain is you don't have to yell at me pains the way that I could connect to you. If I can get you and, and let you know that I feel your pain, then you're gonna, you're gonna understand.
You're gonna know that I understand you. There's no better way to understand anybody than to know that, Hey, they understand why do you go people? They understand you. They feel you, you kinda get what I'm saying. When I feel I can feel, I can feel their mood. I can feel how, if they're happy, if they're sad, I can feel their temperament. I can feel anything you may be going through. I, I know, you know what I mean? And so it's the thing. That was my power. I couldn't use that.
I had to be forceful. I had to be boisterous. I had to be, you know, and you, when are, why ever yell in the gym? You don't yell at us. No, you disappear. we know it's time to go out guys. So, you know, that's what I'm saying. So that's why I said, I'm careful with my boys. I'm careful with anybody at that point, I learned that. The curse is not the curse God said or say damn, or God, you know, anything. The curse is, if I say, Hey, pareo, you're ugly. You know why?
Because you accept that thought you're cursed. You're gonna base everything off of that. At that moment. If I yell at you, if I demean you, I cursed you. Because at that point I limit you to anything else you can think of possibly possibly be because you accepted a cursed, a thought that I gave you and you accepted it. That's dangerous because what are we telling people? What are we saying to people? What are we saying to our kids? What are we saying? Because my gift was, I thought I was weak.
I thought I was a baby. I thought there was something wrong with me. You kind of get what I'm saying. It wasn't nurtured in the right way. So my viewpoints of, and my thoughts of my power were miscued. So it's hard for me to understand that my gift and my power is something that is powerful because it was always taught to me that no, it's soft. Yes. You're soft. Wow. So that's what I'm saying. It's a thing you have to watch. You gotta be careful.
And this is why I, you know, bring people here as a safe space. No, we don't talk about nobody like that in here. We uplift because this is a place where we don't curse people. It's not, it's not saying God damnit and shit and fucking all this shit. No, it's cursing somebody saying, you're man, what the fuck wrong with you, man. Are you dumb? And what more way to be able to get someone to wanna transform than for you to be in an environment where you can be vulnerable.
To figure it out because you, and that your mistakes are not shamed or, you know, put down upon that's that's not the environment that transfer brings. You don't even think like that. Not even close, not even close. You showed up today. Thank you for showing up. Cause that's the hardest, whatever you do right now, you made it. This is good. Y'all we probably know on another hour two, but we gonna wrap it up. Um, This was a good one. So we'll see. Y'all look in next week. Yep. Next week.
So that challenge starts. Is it October 1st? Yes. We're gonna do a small run of it October 1st, but January 1st, the big boy you prepared. Cause we are coming out with some fun stuff. Yes. Join us October 1st though. Cuz getting through the holidays. Mm-hmm um, holding yourself accountable. What, what you putting in your mouth? Yeah. Um, dealing with things emotionally, cuz we are around family, you know, family be the biggest trigger.
Yes. And you can't help, but to see some people through the holidays, so, and you men as well through the holidays, you know, holidays, heavy, heavy time of the year, you know for you shit this year. Be like me. Be like me. Yeah. All right. Y'all we'll see y'all next weekend. That is it for just keep living. Yeah. Yay.