so
Parchelle:I had some conversations with my family, you know, say, so what I say, so what you're saying is that you want me to be with another man that would make you happier. Like that would solve everything for you. Even though for me, happiness, that would not make me happy. That would not have me fulfilled. That's what you want me to do. And I clear on that and they couldn't really answer me that
Jenna:you just say, no, that is wrong
Jo:You're listening to just keep living
Parchelle:the Glasshouse conversation for, there are no stones
Jenna:thrown. This podcast is a judgment free zone for free thinkers who value personal growth and mental health for all about inspiring and
Shana:empowering others all
Jo:while creating safe spaces to have difficult
Jenna:conversations, join us every week. As we have fun, get vulnerable and go deep
Parchelle:answer each other's questions on a range of topics from sex
Jenna:to religion and everything in between. And we do meet everything. We're just trying to figure it out. Like Raney always said, just keep living. Welcome to the show. Hey, this really a bomb y'all going to do about that. A few more lines where I could wrap a little yeah. we should. Cause that's a that's really,
Jo:really do.
Jenna:We need like three and
Jo:a half minutes.
Jenna:Hey, y'all welcome back to just keep living this. This
Parchelle:is partial it. Get a masterpiece,
Jenna:Joe, and we are back. So this week we are going to talk about, um, a documentary on Netflix called pray away. And let me tell y'all, y'all got to think my shell for this
Parchelle:one. Yes, I, and the thing is I suggested that we should talk about it before I watched it.
Jo:You know, I'm thinking you have watched this show, like
Parchelle:I had heard about it and I said, man, this might be a good topic because you know, we can talk about books on here. We can talk about like, just other things and just bring that to be the spark for conversation. So I was like this, this
Jenna:was a good one. So, and it's also our first root view of a story and the docu-series are we gonna have more reviews in the future? We are a multi-facet folks up in here on this podcast. You get
Parchelle:everything. Yeah. And let us know for y'all listening. Like if there's something that is relevant, You know, you think we should check out and like, talk about like, send us a note, DM, let us know
Shana:my question to you though. Like, did you just read the title and say, oh yeah, let's work on this one. Like
Parchelle:I knew somewhat what it was about. Cause I saw a post about it and I said, Hmm, let me check that out.
Jenna:Okay. What was the post about? I'm kind of curious.
Parchelle:I don't, I don't ever remember. It was just something that somebody said, you know, I recommend everybody should watch this because it really brings awareness to, you know, homosexuality and
Jenna:you know, would like their word number. I never liked it before, but after watching, uh, pray away. Cause they use it as a weapon. It's a
Jo:negative. Yeah. They did a weaponized
Jenna:in my core. It bothers me like I want fight. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, you guys, I thought that I would. I watched a Netflix documentary documentary and be like, okay, I have a couple of things to say. So I started watching it yesterday, literally when in six minutes and said, Jenny, you don't have the mental capacity to deal with this. I literally flew in early. Then I went to work and I was like, don't do
undefined:it.
Parchelle:Even from the start, remember the first thing I'm gonna,
Jenna:I'm gonna read it to them. So they had know what triggered me. Oh, I, it was a trigger. And I said, nah, let me come back to this. When I sleep, you know, I I've ate and are well rested. So I have some, some good things to say that we have a good dialogue to share. Okay. So I set my alarm for this morning at six o'clock and I woke up before two minutes and I was like, bad. Let me watch it. So you guys, will you go to watch pray away? There's one of the first thing that pops up on the screen before they started. Interviewing people is kind of like a statement about therapy and this is what triggered me and I knew it was just downhill from there. Okay. So it's saying repairative or conversion therapy is an attempt to change a person's sexual orientation, or gender identity by a religious leader, licensed counselor or in a peer support group. So when you guys read that, what was your first response? What did you think? I
Parchelle:think it wasn't there another statement after
Jenna:that too. I don't even know that when triggered me, it's only like,
Parchelle:in all cases, this has been seen to be harmful
Jenna:wasn't right after that. Or was it that there was under, I thought it was underneath her. Oh, maybe anywhere I was in my fellows from there, because I knew it was about to be some bullshit that's
Parchelle:and that's exactly what came to me. It was like just the damage. The damage.
Jenna:Um, okay, well, this is, I had to talk myself down because I knew what we were about to deal with. Yeah.
Jo:When it said, pray that statement came on and I knew it was going to be the church leaders. When I said that and to pray away, I knew exactly what they were going to do. They were going to make you deny yourself in order for you to fit into their sector group.
Jenna:And then I also knew that they were going to talk about eights that can, did they not. They did. They have to, they have to make whatever it is. They're trying to control you with a disease. Cause they, they consider aids to be a gay person's disease, which is not true because every I've only known one person who had HIV. To be gay. The other people have been straight. I don't know about anybody else, but that's my personal experience. Um, so that's kinda how I started. And I kept telling myself like, Jenna, fix your thoughts to get through this or else it's just gonna, you gonna have nothing but negative things to say, which I do
Jo:during the only one, I got 100% negative to say about
Jenna:this and shot up. What'd you say shot? Ain't had you depressed girl. She woke up this morning. I don't
Shana:know what I'm feeling. I understand. Didn't notice it just wasn't right.
Jenna:I think maybe because you guys have experienced manipulation through Jesus Christ, daddy
Shana:I need to give me a chance to be on the sound,
Jenna:the sound track.
Jo:That's what I'm saying. That's why I said no, we don't.
Jenna:my point. I think you should do it. I believe in you. Okay. We voted everybody is
Shana:next season. Cause you know, I got critique it,
Jenna:write it down first. And one thing I did want to correct when Ms. April was here, I said sexual preference was the right term. And that is incorrect. It's actually the correct term is sexual orientation. Because when you say sexual preference, it's taking away from some, it's something that a Christian made, they made this term of you prefer to be. Not all was born this way. So that's how it was explained to me when I stopped trying to say preference.
Parchelle:Yeah. Cause it, it comes off as a
Jenna:selfish act. Yeah, exactly. So it's, so when you hear that, forgive me, it's actually sexual orientation is the correct term. It's not preference. And it's funny as we kind of get into, when we first learned about the word gay, because that's what my mom told me. She was like, people were born that way and that's what I've always thought. So shout out to my
Jo:mama. Dang
Jenna:it. But when I look back, my mom, we had some gay cousins. Um, my mom's good friends were, I grew up with gay people and they were never treated any different. Wow. So that's all I remember mom telling me and they gave people, this is not a choice. This is how they're born. And that was the end. Now in middle school, when I started going to school with the. They had problems with everybody. Cause some just want to be oppressed about something. Um, they would, they would always say that being gay was a choice. Wow. And I remember being like, nah, my momma said, my momma said, no, that's how you born. And that's what she taught me. And I think that's true. I don't know. Maybe I'll hear a different perspective and maybe I'll change my mind. But that's what I grew up thinking that people that were gay was how they were born. That's how I got it, Nathan. It was very much, that's how I made them. And who am I to question it? So shout out to my mama. She got
Jo:that's that's powerful. That is powerful. The opposite.
Jenna:Now my daddy has some other words, but it was never, um, is what we would call insensitive. My dad used a lot of old school terms for everything, the F word, a word I don't like. And it wasn't to minimize who they were. That's just how he called gay people. And he also said, bulldagger, if anybody know what that is. Oh, that's the old bull dagger, whatever that was. He had a lot of terms. He also said Orientals. I was like, daddy, that's a rug. Wow. Is that an Asian people or Chinese? He called them Orientals. So
Shana:just kind of that too.
Jenna:Yeah. Yeah. So he always had like some old school stands about a lot of different things, but, uh, P what was your first experience with the word gay or?
Parchelle:Well, I know that I heard it in school because it was something that was, uh, it was like a joke. I was like, oh, you being gay? Or,
Jenna:oh yeah. So that's how
Parchelle:I first heard it. And I just thought to me that meant. I didn't, I didn't have any, because the thing for me growing up here, I was not exposed to anything sexual and being around, like you said, you were allowed to around a lot of gay people. I was not, I was around the traditional, this is the man. This is the wife. These are the kids. Oh, I didn't see any thing that, you know, represented that. Um, but I would say in kindergarten though, I think that my, I was, I guess, opened up to that way of myself. Um, and it was in a very innocent way. We were playing recess and one of the girls came and sat next to me and she said, um,
Jenna:she
Parchelle:said, let's play a game. I said, cool.
Jenna:She
Parchelle:said, oh shit, I be mama. You be daddy. Cool. I'm down. Like, that sounds fun. It's innocent. And so I had no idea and honestly like going through and watching this documentary, I realized that there are some areas for myself. I need to go and process and to seek out help with, because it is very damaging. But anyway, that was my. Uh, initial experience with just that concept. And then, like I said, in, in grade school it was like, oh, you're gay dah, dah, dah. But it was like, you're just a freak or different. Yeah. But then it was in the church when you understood, oh, gay means two people together of the same sex and something about that is wrong. But again, for me having no representation, I didn't see, I was shielded from a lot of stuff. It was just like, I don't even know what that means. And it was just not an area that I put any attention to. Hm.
Jenna:Hm. What about you, Joe?
Jo:Um, I don't remember like the first thing, but I just remember growing up gay men to me was like so bad. Like, it was just, when you say somebody is gay or anything like that, it's like. You know what I'm saying? They're not there. They won't make it into God. They're not going to make it to heaven. Right. That's what I'm saying. This is literally like being, being, you know, this would make me question who w what kind of guy we serving, you know, a lot. That's why I said that can't be God, but a lot of times it was like, dang, like you, if you gave, like, I, we use gay, like, man tell us gay was stupid. Like now, you know what I mean? Right. But, you know, and then now, you know, man thinking back, it just was like, man, that's I couldn't imagine being, you know, being, you know, being gay at that time because that's brutal, man. Like, you know what I mean? Cause like, even like, even for the people in the church, you know, that were having to hide their identity that I saw and I know deep down in my heart that, you know, they couldn't come out or anything like that. That's a hard life to live in, not to watching the shows like, damn man, this is like, and when
Jenna:people for Rio that's in my notes, like, yeah, y'all killed a lot of people physically and emotionally. Cause we talk about grieving. They killed off so many people's spirit that when you watch the show, you'll see how they was just living a lot. But we're going to talk more about that in a minute. Shauna, what was your first experience with the word gay or learning what gay was?
Shana:Uh, so, um, my first experience was, uh, basically innocent, like, uh, like partial with the whole playing around and you know, kids saying gay, you know, and it was like, you know, and I said, oh, you mean happy? Because like no talking about, you know, sweet or are you acting on? And I was like, oh, well, Okay, well, because that was what that person or that guy, it wasn't really shown or a more prevalent for girls as it was so bashing and abandoned. When it came to guys and talking like a girl, then they was like, oh yeah, you know, they gay or say, I'm like, oh, okay.
Jenna:We're the most innocent people in there's a problem.
Shana:But it was so harsh and it did not become a problem that I, until my brother thought he was okay. And he was just like, you know, I think sometimes people put it as like, It's a trial period. You just trying to just see Liberia curious. There you go. I'm curious through life, you know, and just trying to see, and, but then they was getting ready to go beat my brother down because the church, the family, my family, like literally all ankles was gone too far. So my brothers, for those who not know where my babies, so best believe if y'all was putting hands, I was, I was putting hands. I don't care, uncles church don't matter. But the problem was the fact that they felt that they was going to beat this out of him. This, this thought, this curiosity, this moment, just because he was curious. Yes. And did not know. And I'm just like, what? Well, yeah, because he's gay what yo point. And, and it that's when I was like truly affected by it. When it came to me. Because I was going through my curious phases and stuff like that. Oh, it was because I was traumatically. exactly. So, but, so I didn't need to get it beat out of me. I didn't need to get it prayed out of me, prayed out of me, but beat out of my brother. And I was like, hold up, you know, it, it was very like shocking, but it, it was very like, wow. You know? So like, y'all really felt like, and I would tell my mom, my mom, my mom was very like, okay. You know, she would just go to the church. Like, let's just pray, go pray about it.
Jenna:You know,
Shana:she didn't understand. And I think it also was a trigger for her because once again, as they say, she had, it had already been sexually molested. So this is why she,
Jenna:um, this is what you deserve. This is what. And you're not living the Christian life, so I'm ready for it because it was my mom's. God is punishing you. He gonna punish you through your family. There you go. There you go. This is why this was so triggering for you.
Shana:It went deep, it went real deep. I didn't know how to handle all that was coming up. And I had suppressed and things that I just chose not to really deal with, you know, because I don't want to deal with those feelings. I'm like, oh, he'll keep me busy. I'd rather stay busy. But it was because of a lot of those things that they would connect to me being abused and sexually abused. So of course, oh, that's why she's going this way because this man had hurt her.
Jenna:They did. That's exactly what they were doing on.
Shana:Pray it away, girl, when I say away it wasn't, this was late at night. Okay. And I'm talking about the pastor is coming to the house. We end the whole. Lee dining room area, pastor, mom, ah, oh, everybody in the download area. Cause we bought some pray about Shauna's situation of the thought of her acting out, gay
Jenna:acted out gay. How old were you?
Shana:I was probably every bit, uh, I'm gonna say 10,
Jenna:11, 10, 11,
Shana:10 or 11. I was literally had to be in together. Yes, seriously. It was like, what? But here still not knowing we, we tend to suppress those things. And so that was my first experience. It was kinda like a two experience like, cause here it is my brother and then now. You know, and so my mom definitely felt like she's the worst woman in the world. She'd gone through more depression now because now both her kids. So it has to be her fault. You know, the man that I was molested by was her boyfriend. So now I'm about to be, you know, what the church say PO to be gay. So I, you know, it has to be her, her, since her issues, her problems on why her kids are coming out
Jenna:and be
Parchelle:preached. It's like when your fathers and your forefathers,
Jenna:hold on, say that again, Joe y'all know I'm in nobody church house. I don't know
Jo:how long he got his. When you do wrong, he's gonna correct you.
Parchelle:Yeah. It's like the sins of your generations continue, which to me speaks more to just cycles. Okay. Then it does something that is, you know, oh,
Jenna:they put net on sky daddy. One more time completely. But we know that's not true. Things will happen. See you generation after generation because you're not fixing trauma. That ain't God punishing y'all well, I don't, I ain't nobody preaching.
Jo:No, you're right. It isn't, it. It's not, it's not God, it's not God punishing you, but it gives them excuse not to work on the trauma and themselves.
Jenna:I can cast it on the Lord,
Jo:God GoDaddy. They don't want to do it
Shana:man. Time to me, they seem to actually want to cast it on past history is to connect it to why you're being gay. Right. So now we want to say, oh yeah, that's not. This is actually now
Jenna:you've, you've read what you saw, what you saw it. Now, look, this is what's happening to you. And this is what happened to your offspring. Y'all that ain't got
Jo:no, not at all. No, I'm gonna hit it one more time.
Jenna:That, that apparently my, what I got from going to church was Bible study, like vacation Bible school stuff. Cause all I got was thought as well. All I got was God is love y'all I promise this right here. Don't be making sense to me.
Jo:can you imagine, can you imagine thinking that you're going to a place. Well, your skin burns off all over. You know what I'm saying? Just like, it's like dreadful, fiery pit of hell that you're going to, if you don't act. Right. So when you, so it's almost like you're tearing yourself apart from who you really are, because you don't want to go to this place. That's this way, but why am I feeling this way? You kind of get what I'm saying. So you're living this life of like, man, I'm just, I'm going. That's why people just say, fuck
Shana:it. I was ready to go to him from the, um, the, the movie that we watch, the prayer we'll pray away. She said, that's how she felt was her skin was literally, every time was burning, like, oh, that's
Jenna:how
Jo:And they tell you, like, that's hard. That's hard to live, man.
Jenna:Listen, I don't know if I was just so naive to my surroundings growing up, but I didn't, I don't remember hearing a lot of negative things said about gay people. I don't remember. I don't remember it. I don't know if it's a block-out or what, but, you know, the most I can think about is when so-and-so was a little sweet. Oh yeah. Or take, but it wasn't like so-and-so got little sugar in his take. They going to hell I, none of
Jo:that,
Parchelle:I was so oblivious in a sense, but I was just naturally just doing it. It seemed like a negative behavior to people, but it was me. Being myself breathing. Yeah. And for me, because I wasn't exposed to the sexual nature of it. I just emotionally had relationships with women and it got to a point once where one, I was, uh, with one of my friends, we were hanging out to me, this is how it was, there was nothing sexual about these relationships, but they were intimate. They were close. And I remember, uh, my mom, a couple of times mentioning if saying something like you acting funny, like that's what she was saying. You acting funny, but this needs to
Shana:stop analogies. Gay, gay was happy and funny. It was considered as gay.
Parchelle:Yeah. And, and I just remember feeling like, just so hurt by that because it, it, it took the purity of what was in that moment for me and made it to be something that I should not have, or should not do or pursue, but it felt so home for me, you know what I mean? To be. And there was no sexuality involved, you know, to that extent, there was no activity. So to me, I'm like, what is the big deal? Like, it was like, I'm doing
Jenna:nothing. That's just your friend. That's your home girl. But she still saw that. And that was funny. That was funny. She buys me, we funny acted me, you, my dog. What'd you mean?
Jo:Not at that, that, that angle angers me because like, because other, yeah, other people's what they perceive their perversions. Do you know, they try to push that on when you could, they can't perceive it in other way. You kind of get what I'm saying. Like, and so the church does, like, to me, that's why it kills me. Like the church does that. They try to make a norm out of something. That's not that you don't need, everybody's different. You can't make a norm out of something. You can't base a normal people. You know what I mean? As soon as you base a normal people, you start segregating people. And that's why I can not hate. I hate that. That's why religion it to me. It can be, it can be bad because you.
Jenna:That's what the church is all about. The word religion. I automatically think to
Parchelle:control, to control. I mean, if you can present a belief system and tell somebody how to think, how to govern themselves, they're going to set up based
Jenna:on who though, who decided these rules in my
Jo:day, and then guess what happens? You ruined the relationships with your family, your kids, like that could, because of the religion type of thing, you know, you might, you know, my dad was, I don't know if he still is, but he was so like, you, you like, like, I don't even know what the word is like homophobic or like, you know, he just like, it just, he couldn't like, because there was no black and white, you're going to hell, you're going to hell. So my nephew is to be around him. No, my nephew is gay. And so my nephew didn't even want to come home to his granddad because of the way we blame him. No, and that's what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? And why would you want to be a grandfather? You kind of get what I'm saying, how can you
Jenna:teach him how fear is the fear and the congestion,
Jo:but how, how was that a God of love? It doesn't matter.
Parchelle:It doesn't balance. It does not connect. I need to put away my desires and you know how I naturally am and about myself in order to make you happy to make you comfortable. Dan is not love does not care. I don't care what it is, whether it's being gay or any other characteristics. If you're trying to get somebody to change who they are and anything that is natural about them. So that way you can feel happier
Jenna:yourself. Like, yeah, we ain't even talked about, I know we didn't get that started with like personal little things. That's why I was like, partial gave us this review to do, and she opened up a can of worms
Parchelle:seriously. I mean, I'm even thinking about like this repairative conversion thing. And though I wasn't a part of any sort of ministry like that, you know? Um, I do remember. My mom, like signing me up for classes. Like she knew that I would just prefer to play sports or whatever, but she put me in cheerleading. She put me in ballet
Jenna:to do feminine. Anything that talked about, they were trying to make the women do feminine things and the guys do masculine and they look the boys, they made the boys play the football and the women was sewing.
Parchelle:I was like, imagine me right now in a Tutu doing a ballet recital. And I was in middle school where she signed up Simon. There were a five-year-old six-year-old. I was like, I cannot do this recital. Y'all remember fresh prince that episode,
Jenna:where
Jo:did you ever feel like you were not, you, you were not, you, you kind of go saying, will you ever go into that term moral with like, man, I just can't be me because. You know, my parents and my religion, you know, stuff like that. Did you ever go through that? Like, you know, the girl was talking about like how she would just burn herself, you know, cause of the pain, you know, she had to, you know, she had to, you know, it was just inflicting pain, you know, did you ever,
Parchelle:I think, you know, with, in her case it was different because she actually was acting out on it and I didn't really feel like I was, it was just how I was, how I presented myself. And, um, I think that there were times I felt just awkward and I felt like that I couldn't be myself in some ways, um, especially with how I dressed and how I presented myself. Like I did, I did do the heels thing at one point and it just, I felt so, like I looked, when I looked back at pictures of myself, it's, it's frightening to me.
Jenna:I can't remember as someone else outside
Parchelle:because I'm like tag, like I really was trying, like,
Jenna:it'd be like, I dressing up like white men. It is that dramatic. Like
Parchelle:I really was
Shana:trying, I have a question. Like, did you ever change your perspective, you know, after you married the person that died, you know, that your husband, you know, after you marry him. Exactly. Um, did you ever change your perspective on gay? Like, you know, now since the church seemed to have conditioned you into, oh, you know, you need to be with a man in order to be right. And, you know, you ended up marrying a man, but at that moment, in that, that time, did you change your perspectives on being gay? Did you think? Like the church thought they gave was just wrong and I need to marry this man.
Parchelle:Um, good question. I knew that in getting married, like that was the next step. And it was almost like finally, like something to present to show people something of acceptance that could be accepted. And, um, and I thought I was fortunate because we were friends and, you know, I felt like we had a good connection. So if this is who this is going to be with, and this is a cool dude to do it with. Um, but I, I think that after, after we did, um, our marriage dissolved and stuff, like, yeah, my, my, I was just open and it just knew I was open. And so it. It did change over time because also I, I credit my relationship with my husband at the time that we actually helped each other out of religion together. And if there was a purpose for us to be together, it was that. And even for him to come and say, you know what, I don't want to be married anymore. Um, that took a lot of courage on his part to do, because he also grew up in a religious context. And so he just knew that this wasn't working out and it was a hard, it was hard to hear, but also I knew that it took courage because I didn't have it to do something like that. Okay. So at that point, yeah, we were both just open, you know what I mean? And just open to something new and different. And for me, that's what it was getting back on that dating scene and trying to get out there again, I did get on some like dating apps and stuff like that, and just actually put down, I said, you know what, both, you know what I mean? Like I'm open to both just because I knew that it was, I knew that it was there, but I had. Acknowledged it never. Yeah. None of that, so,
Jenna:wow. Okay. All right. You guys so on, um, on the documentary, it starts, it gave us this little, you know what I read to you guys? When we first started, we went on one hell of a tangent, but it's okay. It's all relevant. Um, so the first story is a transgender guy. Well, well he is a man now he had transgender to be a woman, but he had gave it all up. And now he is walking through the grocery store and praying for people and shared his story, how God saved, delivered him from, um, transgender. So now he is living as a man again, and that's how it starts. And I'm pissed instantly because who am I? Who am I to tell somebody that they are no longer transgender? Um, he's still gay. Yo, no facts. I was like, okay, but he's, he's preaching. He's a, he said a lot in his clip that had me kind of all over the place. What was your thought with the young man that was training?
Parchelle:Yeah, he, he, to me, he has a sweet soul and I think that he genuinely is, you know, looking to help people because, you know, for, for the, that whole movement that got started, it was started from the intent of like, you know what, something about my behavior is different. It is not like everybody else. And I'm, I'm, I'm scared about it. What do I do? How can I change that way? I will be part and I will be normal. That's how the whole thing got started. So when I'm looking at this guy, he's just, you know, wanting to have something to change that behavior. And if that is for him, why shouldn't it be behavior and identity where the two things that kind of came up, right? Like you can act down it versus this is who I'm saying. I am. I don't know. I thought that he, he, yeah, he definitely still is gay.
Jenna:Um, but, and it's
Parchelle:okay. But he knows that identify, you know,
Jo:the thing, I think he knows it. I think that if you listen to him and you kind of see from his pictures in the way he talks, he was so out of like, he never fit in anywhere that he wanted a place to fit in. So he's so hard. Deny himself to fit into a group that will accept him. You kind of get what I'm saying, that he created, that he'd decided to, you know what I'm saying? He's suppressing us about, I think, deep down inside, he like, he, you know what I'm saying? He knows, but he likes the, the thing of fitting in. Like you could tell
Jenna:he was traveling around and going in a different charts and people will come
Jo:and give him a hug.
undefined:Yeah.
Parchelle:You're so
Jo:fearless. This and that man. I'm like, man, that's so fucked.
Jenna:Yep. Cause you not living your true. Who am I to tell you now living your truth. Now what he was talking about towards the end, when he went into that church that I had to write down, he talked about the schools were pushing a homosexual. Oh, I hate that word agenda. And I said, no. Where, where is he getting that? You know, three, three of us here on this podcast have children. And how we grew up is totally different than how our kids grew up. And this is something that we see in social media constantly in 10 years, all of our kids are going to be gay. The cartoons want them gay. The movies want them gay. I was like, where are y'all? What are y'all watching it? I'm not catching what I catch is acceptance.
Parchelle:Yeah. And that's a big difference. I think that it's, it's presenting a threat to. Families are structured and how we continue to procreate the human
Shana:race. I mean, we were even told not to let our kids watch it because so-and-so parents, they say, yo, pay attention to the parents. And then as soon as we saw, like the parents was, oh shoot, yeah, kids can't watch that girl. They, they already putting stuff in their head.
Jenna:You know, I was like, what is the agenda? And why is it my kids I'm sipping the Kool-Aid because when you talk to these children, when we talk about getting out and mentoring and being in the community, the kids don't care what you identify as they just love other kids for them. Except it's, it's the acceptance that they're teaching.
Shana:Yes. That's
Jenna:so true. So when, when home, boy, hell boy was talking about being in the church with this stuff. I
Jo:was like, that came, that came from the idea that they placed in his head. That's how I feel, because that's how I
Jenna:put the reporting net. And you got the church Gores who like,
Jo:yes, that's what I'm saying. They took her out the school. The whole agenda was began to be pushed by. Money politics and all this stuff, he came really big in DC. If you watch the whole thing, like now, now I'm going to say what's right. Because you know, like, uh, it's going to get us to views. It's going to get us somebody like, you know, homegrown talking. And they said, uh, why don't you, you know, why don't you mention the whole thing about you getting raped that makes it more meaningful. And that makes it more like now, now, because they want buy-in they want the feeling of like, they want
Jenna:it to relate to you being raped. So that, yeah.
Jo:So that now have the fear. Yes. It's the fear. That's what I'm saying. The fear to make you fearful more, it makes your fear more, more prevalent. You
Jenna:know what I'm saying? Like, yeah. I can relate to
Shana:being scared, even schools, you know? And I could see maybe that's maybe where he's coming from, because like when, uh, the boys wanted to be cheerleaders, they wanted to be a part and make schools had to try to think about it. And they had to make a lot of unisex, especially California was like more so prone to it that I knew, like. Also on why COVID didn't one come at first because I was very like scared the liberals. I was scared because of the way church had told me that this is not right. This is this state, this state to open, okay. This state,
Jenna:they to free, free thinking.
Jo:No,
Shana:that's what they, and then the fact that they were allowed to do unisex bathrooms, all it is, this thing was the state. And when I heard it, I was like, yo Shama, you gotta be careful and make sure that was one of the questions that I found out before I, when we moved, when I found out I was coming stationed to California and to find out if they were, my kids was going to be sharing bathrooms with, um, with, uh, with, uh, with all sex, you know, it was my first question because, uh, sad to say, you know, I felt like I was so church. You know, and as much as I did not want to be, or try to, and I feel ashamed to even feel this way that I was still just as biased, you know, I didn't, I didn't come out, you know, or bash people that, that never was me. And I had gay friends. I had questions for them. I was very curious they're about their life, but it was, don't get too close when it comes to mind, you know what I'm saying? So there was still like a bias to where, like, I don't want my kids to be observed or
Jenna:to
Shana:yeah. To see, you know, or be a part of that because I don't want them to implement or be gay. You know what I'm saying? I don't want them to be around that, you know,
Jo:to get you,
Shana:I
Jenna:said, I appreciate your transparency.
Shana:It was, it was, it was very. It was very harsh, even now when I think about it. And I think, cause I was, even though I didn't walk out, I had that mindset. Let's put it like that, especially when I came to California and I was looking into all of that because they were so more open only to end up really working in a place that was all gay. And I love them to this day. Hilarious. And I love people, but it took me to get out of that box because I was so secluded. I was literally. The people because of what we were taught, we were taught that this was against God and it was abomination and all of this. And I had to literally get in my mind, like this is so not right. You know what they're putting on TV and cartoons. And as y'all are saying is making our kids be more open and more aware. I was seeing it as it was trying to, you know, affect our kids. Like as if this wasn't an affection, you know, I saw where like, yo, they're showing these kids, you know, that it's so hard to have two daddies. So mamas. Why is this okay? Let's not wonder how these kids are or gonna be, you know, and, and you know, what is, you know, if that two dads, how are they gonna take care of daughters? You know what I'm saying?
Jenna:It's funny. Looking back. Can you laugh now? Yes, I
Shana:can definitely laugh
Jenna:now because sounds a lot of us that grew up in two-parent homes and look how damaged we are. Darrell. We had a mom and a daddy not too bad is my chances when life probably would have been better with two daddies, I pay them a little less, little less trauma to Bobolis,
Shana:how it was starting to become a lot more open.
Jenna:Whenever you, whenever you start looking for something, you will find it. You will make it relate to whatever you want it to relate to like the Bible. Well, I may read one thing, you hear another, but we going to make this verse. That's true. DM, whatever. I'm again, I'm looking at the TV, like the cartoons they talking about, the kids shouldn't watch and I'm like, okay. That was a little funny. Um, okay. If anything, this is an age appropriate. Yes. Okay. The sexual to daddy's a mama, daddy to mamas or whatever. I'm like, nah, I just don't think that my kid needs to learn about this at age six. Yeah. And as a parent, I control that I could care less if it's two daddies to me, I'm like, oh, it's two people that decided to love a child next. Wow. That's what I teach my kids. And so California allows that any,
Shana:even to where and after if I really get into it, you know, when it comes to the kids, like when we were so diverse with color, cause I would ask myself, why are you like purple? I purple's a girl color. He actually put me in my place though. I need go front. And I was like, what? Because. You know, you shouldn't be wearing all this purple top is for girls and stuff like that. And he said, well, why is it fair than
Jenna:who was a Giotto actually? Oh, he knew at a young age.
Shana:He actually, you know, he's not as direct as Joe, Joe Mathias is a little bit more ease into it. Like his dad, Joe, Joe, tell you straight up, like whatever I like purple. Cause I like purple that's Joe, Joe. But guy is on the other hand was like, why is it fair that women get to have certain colors? And boys got to have
Jenna:certain colors. I was Paula. I was like, cause I'm your mom, you questioning me? And that is a bill air rights. Don't nobody question me in his household unless you paid bills.
Shana:Yeah, but he put me in my place in a way to say that it just was not fair that we were biased to what girls could wear, what boys could wear and everything. And I was just like, wow. You know, and it took me, it really made me think more about how I actually was being biased to two people in gen in general. Even when I saw will Smith's son wearing a two.
Jenna:Uh, not, not, well, come on, wait, wait, wait, wait. No,
Shana:will Smith. Yes. Jayden. Jayden was going through a phase and he, you know, that's that, especially after at the karate, he was the thing. But then after a while, as he got older, he started being into himself and he, he wore, he wore like black, long dresses to, to sharp Cheryl. And I was like, y'all know how I felt about that. Like
Jenna:how you felt about notes, like how we have all these feelings for people that we can't even, it ain't. No, no.
Shana:Cause I was connecting to that one though and my own, because I was trying to see like, How the world would I be able to deal with that if this kid decide that he wanted to wear tutus wear dresses, and now he up here, you know, going for purple.
Jenna:Okay. So, so it's so wild. Yeah,
Parchelle:it is. And
Jo:I looked like a lot and you see it in this show, a lot of people and not just, it was sickening. Seeing the people, when the guy was talking to him and the people in the pews, like, yes, you empowering this man. Not to be him. Like you, you, you were doing the opposite of what we're supposed to do for people. You kind of get what I'm saying. That's, that's not love, like, you know what I'm saying? We're doing the complete opposite. So you're empowering as man and, you know, downside because it makes you feel good. Just like we read in that book about our true love. You know what I'm saying? Love isn't about what doing, you know, I can't say I love you part shell and tell you to do and get mad at you when you don't do what I tell you to do.
Jenna:I only love you when I can get
Jo:That's what
Jenna:I say often, you know, that my love comes with conditions. The only person that gets unconditional love are my children, not adults. Nope. She got a condition.
Jo:So, but it it's just like, it's, it's a thing. Like I can't control you and it's a good level of control to where you're making people live in misery. You're making people live in hell when you win in a personal
Jenna:others.
Jo:Yeah. That's
Jenna:what I'm saying, but the how all guys, so you guys in the. And the prayer way they started an organization they talk about is called egg, Exodus organization. It was established in 1976, and we think that's so long ago, but it didn't even end until 2013. So the organization, they little marketing that popped up, it said unhappy and gay. I say y'all y'all yo. Yes, they had, they were pushing really all the marketing. They did. It was unhappy and gay. Yeah. And they were also had this comparison. We were talking about this earlier comparison between gay people and child molesters. What the fuck we need that I we talked about
Parchelle:it was this, the notion of what it means, what sexual immorality means and the different definitions it takes on for different people. So child molestation versus somebody being gay, like. Um,
Jenna:where are y'all getting at it? Oranges. You're comparing to an airplane to a car.
Shana:Yeah, exactly. But you know, they also want it for so long to connect and they still do want to connect, uh, lesbian, ism, gay, whatever homophobe, all whomp, whomp,
Jenna:whomp sex. They go home with a sound like a
Shana:They want it to connect it to. Yeah, they did. So we're, that's why they're trying to connect. It's a whole,
Jenna:it's a trauma that kept pushing
Shana:the trauma behavior to behavior. And that's why they're also trying to connect why these pedophiles are acting the way they're acting to T to behavior. And so, you know, psychology is like, oh, so this is an act on why they're choosing to be gay. You know, it's why,
Jenna:and we all, we all have some trauma, so can you relay everything I do back to my trauma. That's what they would do. and they were literally
Shana:saying, then we're going to say, that's connected to your drama. That's what
Jenna:they did. Exit his organization who did conferences. Y'all this is what they were doing, going across America, just America. This is an issue across the world, just across America to say you ended up gay because you had abuse from somebody, your pair today we're blaming the parent, or you were molested and he was breaking it down. Like it was a math equation. On a white board, this and this and the whole girl, they ended up getting married at the end and married a woman. She was saying how none of that ever related to her story, she had great parents, no one ever molested her. Right. She was, she was just, she was a unicorn like,
Jo:oh, well he has something that somehow he had to make something. Then
Jenna:she got raped. And then here we go.
Shana:And I could count on, I don't know. I only even have enough hands. How many people when I actually asked them, you know, cause I was still curious to their understanding. I asked them, why are you don't even have none of his trauma that they tried
Jenna:to? Cause they went like my mama said they were born that way and being sent off church
Shana:people. This is what made me curious to ask these questions, because I needed to understand it's like, you know, waiting for them to say that something happened to them or why they,
Jenna:I was conditioned.
Shana:And I was just trying to see, like, but none of them was saying that they had had two parents. I said, well, how did your parents do it? And then there's like, you know, they weren't too happy, you know, but at the same time, like they loved them. They took it like, I'm like, oh, so this wasn't. So I said, did you choose, did you, did you just knew you, was it something, did you get molested?
Jenna:Like all of these questions, something
Parchelle:I have a theory that if we were all just, you know, just teenagers, but with no shame, nothing. And we were just, we were able to be free and choose how to express yourself in that way. I really think we all just, it wouldn't be a big deal and maybe you will surprise yourself in terms of what you would find yourself wanting to do or experience, but that doesn't mean. You know what I mean? Like just
Jo:the thing that bothers me is the, they say it's a behavior, like you said, you know, one of the guys, one of the head guys was like this, he talked about, he said it was, you know, I thought the act of being the behaviors were gay. Yes. Not the feelings. So what makes me mad is they're making people, deny their emotions and feelings and make them, you know what I'm saying? And just go off living at dead life. Can you imagine that? Can you really, really think about that? Really? Think about just going through life.
Jenna:You're not living life. You can't really were killing
Jo:themselves. Yes. You can't feel anything. You, you have to cut all your emotions and everything off and just go out and do these actions every day. So
Parchelle:I had some conversations with my family, you know, say, so what I say, so what you're saying is that you want me to be with another man that would make you happier. Like that would solve everything for you. Even though for me, happiness, that would not make me happy. That would not have me fulfilled. That's what you want me to do. And I clear on that and they couldn't really answer me that
Jenna:you just say, no, that is wrong
Jo:to be like, I don't want you to.
Parchelle:Oh,
Jenna:that's that? That's the other side. If I'm living hot on, but if I'm living for someone else, you already set up personal that ain't hell I can share that as a very personal
Jo:hail, but they don't understand. I mean, that, that they don't
Jenna:understand that. Y'all how we didn't talk. And we ain't got through all the meat, this one alone today. It is what it is. Cause we got to get through this partial. They made us watch it. And I got a lot to say, I got two pages of notes, you know? Okay. So you got at this point, you guys haven't seen this and y'all are going to be like, let me go see it right after you hear this. So the people that are in this organization, like the heads, these two people, that's going across America preaching, um, that you are unhappy and gay. And this is why, what I couldn't wrap my mind around is if they are no, these people are no longer. Let me say that there were couples that there was a, there was lesbians now married two gay men that neither one of identify, as I hate saying homosexual now is, feels nasty. They no longer identify as that. They are a straight couple having children and God has blessed them with children because they left their sin behind. That's what I got from that, right? Because he was like, what? He, only thing he ever wanted was children as a man, not as a gay person, he just wanted children. So now God has blessed him with these the life. So now you have decided to go all across America and it is your full-time job to go tell the world, um, They need to be sexually. That blew my mind. If you are no longer gay, why are you telling gay people not to be gay? Leave it
Parchelle:alone? Well, at that point, I worked for that woman. I mean, she was, she was considered, considered as a leader in that space because there were only white men who were on this that were
Jenna:straight, these white claim to be straight who have a lot to say about gay people. Y'all wrap your brain around it. That's like Jenna going across the world, going across America to tell people how to act white, to tell white men how to be white men. That's the way we
Parchelle:are. Well, there's a lot of people in legislation who are making decisions on matters that they have no personal experience.
Jenna:Knock on all black people on gay people, anybody that is different than them you're making rules for. So she was
Parchelle:different because she actually had, she was a
Jenna:lesbian for six
Parchelle:years. Right. So she was the spokesperson doing it. And you know, the whole thing was just again about a behavior that, again, continue this norm. Family and procreating in a way that is orderly, that is easy to manage that it's easy to control. Like that's, that is the agenda is to control. And I thought about this yesterday. It's like, you know, in, in life, in the world, we do have to have some sense of control. We have, we need rules to some extent, but then we also need the freedom to express and to be accepted for that. And to me, I think of it as like two ways, you can either have a really well-manicured garden where all of the apples are there over here and all the, you know, plants are over here and it's orderly, it's easy to manage, easy to go get to. So you can take that scenario and also think about a wild growing forest that has no restrictions and rules, but it develops its own ecosystem. And that's beautiful. It is that's expressive, you know what I mean? What is wild? And it's not controlled. And so people are, are afraid of that. It's easier. And it feels easier to, just to be in a place where there's control. And so she, and she said in the documentary that she would literally push. Um, and she just would give questions. Well, what's going to happen to your kids. What if you know this? What if the bathroom situation? What if this? And she just wouldn't plant these ideas and people to make them afraid of going against the norm because it's to continue an agenda I've
Jenna:been in therapy for nine years towards the end you guys would call it. Let me get y'all a spoiler alert real quick at the end, everybody that was preaching this agenda of God first. I'm no longer gay. I've been delivered. Oh, remember Lord. And Andrew, Andrew Casa. So they all ended up being gay and at the end. So that's a spoiler alert this, throw that out there, but it's like the Autodesk doll Udacity that they had. Cause they ruined so many people lives. That's the part. And then I, you know, it made me think how you go across the world, making a living, talking about people in the name of Jesus. I need y'all Bible folks to make that make sense for me, you don't, you are telling them they're going to hell. This is your, your job is now to make everybody feel uncomfortable with the life they live.
Jo:And if so, to me, it's, to me, it's a choice. And to me, it's easier for people to do that because you don't have to sit down and sit down and figure out what's wrong with you. You kind of go what I'm saying. So it's easy for me to go. Like you're going to this Wallace digging in your closet a little bit, bro.
Jenna:All of those, all of those people that were preaching, the agenda of y'all are going to go to hell, get right with. Yeah, they were secretly dying inside. Homeboy was caught in a gay club out. Yup. Yup. He, like he said that he, he had minimized it too. As long as I don't have gay behaviors, I'm not gay. Although he was continued to watch porn, his wife was catching them with gay porn. He was doing some gay like behaviors to me, but he didn't consider himself gay anymore.
Shana:Shannon, think that, um, the question that you asked about. Like just, you know, a church background is the fact that they're coming from a place of where I just want to be accepted. This church accepted me. Okay. So in order for me to continue to stay accepted, these are the, the God, these are the things that I need to do to, in order to fall in this role, I need to be married to a, you know, a man, I need to have children because you know, it wasn't just enough for you just to be married. You had kids along with it, you have seeds, you know, you gotta, you know, so it's like this being said, okay, I am now a testimony. That was the word. Or, you know, a testimony. My past situations that I felt that was traumatic. That that's why my life was still in turmoil. My life was wrong. God, God deliberate me. You know, guy, daddy, but you know, you just won't make it, you know, and never would have made it
Jenna:without God
Shana:was over here that would have made it. And that's the way they put you though, you know? And so those people who ended up really just being awakened, I think, and I think that's what it is more so in the end is that they just became awakened that they. Torturing at or hurting other people or they weren't living who they really were. And you don't know who you really are. You're going to preach the people that accepted you and, and what they want me to do. I'm going to follow, I'm going to do what they tell me. I'm going to act like they were, oh, that's not right. Okay. Every. I don't want you to go to what I went through. So I'm going to pray to you or tell you don't do that. Don't do that. Don't live like that. Don't be gay. Don't, don't behave this way because you got to go to hell because that's what they told me. And they're accepting to me and my wife,
Jenna:God bless me with kids because you let me, let me touch on something right there, because I have, um, I want to touch on it because these people were, you know, it was unhappy and gay was the marketing, but they were unhappy. Not because they were gay, they were unhappy because they were environments that no one accepted them. That's a bigger issue. And that's why the community, they were, they were dealing with depression because here you are in a household of people that have, you've grown up with that you thought you love now hates you because of your choice. So they were ma manipulation, like no other, they were making. Me choosing to be gay men. I was unhappy. I was like, baby, to miss two separate things. You are unhappy because not because you gay because of the people that are around you are not accepting you. You are never enough. That's why I was like, why are y'all, wouldn't be late in the people's thoughts and y'all making it one thing. That's what made
Parchelle:me man, demonizing your feelings. It is.
Jo:But then think about it. You get into a community, right? You're not accepted. So now you get into a community that accepts you. You deny who you are. You're on this high, it puts you on a pedestal. You're here. You're. So now, now, now it's not like, like, you know, you're on a high be like, man, I'm here. I can do this. You know what I mean? I deny my feelings. I'm not who I really am, but that high only lasts for so long.
Jenna:Cause you
Jo:you're denying yourself. And then when it high gone and then it levels out now, but at your true self has to you, it really starts to battle what you're not at full out. That's what happened with the guy. Like, you know what I'm saying? He started going back to the club. You start
Jenna:going, Hey, and then he start doing things that he felt great about. Yes. He said I wanted to go to a gay club. I wanted to go to a gay bar. I wanted to hang out with gay people because that's where he felt accepted.
Shana:Exactly. Not only that, like that's where he, he was happy at the cartridge and the church doesn't show you. Self care. Oh no, no, no. You need to take care of everybody else first, before you take care of yourself. And now you're so meaning that. Okay. So if so-and-so is also scripture, meet, offend that brother don't eat meat in front of a man and you'll find my brother. So in so many words, the church is saying like, if this person doesn't eat meat, then I shouldn't eat meat in front of them to provoke them. Right.
Jenna:right. The Bible
Shana:person with the gay, it's all interpretation. He's thinking that he's offending the people who say that they love, love him. So I'm going to sustain myself that, that sinful self, that they would talk so much about. Like you got to abstinent the subs, you've got to keep the self, you know, you got to suppress, you got to stay in control of the self. They make it look like such a harsh.
Jenna:Whoa.
Parchelle:It is
Jo:stressful man. Life like, damn I'm
Jenna:What I told my kids is there'll be eating in front of people if they hungry, when you just offered him something to eat. And I say, I went and teach my staff if they it's that
Shana:simple, but I wouldn't teach my kids that now that I am aware, you know, where it trolley and that's what those people got to. They got an awareness to their sh the happiness of themselves, you know, and seeing that if I don't need to be around people that, that if I'm not being who I am now, that's what I preach to my boys. Now. Like, don't, if they don't love you or not even just love you, if they don't even care for you for you being you, then you do some I don't care, boy, girl, whatever do some, but that's not what the church, you kind of get
Parchelle:one of the churches, a false sense of acceptance because it's with conditions. Yes.
Shana:And these people are living a Loring through life, just being what everyone else wanted them to be. And if I fall. Then I am not, then, then they don't want to have anything done. I don't have any I'm alone. I'm like, you're done. You're like, you're done.
Jo:That's why I I'll
Jenna:go to church manipulation, manipulation
Shana:words to back it up. They
Parchelle:do their, they do. Yeah. Yeah,
Jo:they do. And if you don't know yourself, it's easy to get manipulated into that. If you're not confident in who you are
Jenna:providing you with something you may not have had before, you know what church is fellowship, but that's what I'm saying. It is.
Jo:But if you don't know, if you knew Jenna,
Parchelle:you know,
Jenna:she knows conditions. I mean, I think conditions as an adult is nice, but not them. Then those are things, people. Hmm.
Jo:I like
Jenna:go into that though. When you talk about like, it's, it's a community with conditions. But not every community is for me. Those conditions. Yeah. Like I said earlier, I'm too old. I, as an adult, I don't love people unconditionally. Except my children, adults come with conditions, respect, hear me out. I hear you out. We can keep going on what those conditions are. You may have some conditions that it takes requires for you to be loved by me that I don't agree with. Right. I'm going to say, I don't agree with that. That is a hard ass boundary. That's a no dog. If partial said, Hey, you're going to be my friend. You got to do a lot of Coke. I'd be like, girl, it's been nice knowing you. That's what I'm talking about. We don't have to sit. You may check off all these other boxes I needed in a friend, but this one condition that I have to do a line of Coke to be your friend that I'm saying, Hey, it was nice knowing you. And I wish you best. Um, that I will say that my response to a lot of this is privileged by have a say two, I have a family who, if I decided to be gay today, it would be like, okay, that's not everybody's experience. So when I see people that are gay, that are going through things with their family and I'm like, fuck them. But I have to also say, well, that's not reality for everybody, somebody, everybody wants to have someone to belong to. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, that's, that's kinda what I mean by that. Y'all I'm sorry. No, I'm not sorry. I'm just saying that's what I mean.
Jo:And I see that in it's a thing of like, uh, it just brings back to, you know, the baseline, because I would say I was angry at the church for a long time and you know, now I could just see what you're saying. It's like, I don't have to be there. I can step back and get away from that. You know what I'm saying? People.
Parchelle:Yes. It's, it's awesome. A tough and lonely road to consider when you don't really know how people will respond. So anyone that you know, that is gay or, or is living and saying, this is who I am. You also need to respect the courage. It took to come into the safe. This is how I am, because yeah. The conditions will be there. Absolutely. But when you have to, you know, when you have to be fearful, like, damn, if I just share how I feel and how I am, there's a possibility I'm gonna be left. There's a possibility I'm gonna be dropped off a positive. Anyone can do anything with you. And I'm, I'm still dealing with that with my family, you know, in some respects, because that's just the reality. So there is like, I know that, you know, you say what about community that conditions or respect and stuff like that, for sure. But when that has to be to, to, to step away from that community, even at your family, for something that you, because you refuse to live.
Shana:Yeah. And it's really sad because the church, if we really sit down and think about it, like who comes to the church, the people who are damaged, people who are going through and they just see, like, I need this, I need this direction. I need someone to accept me. I need to see and understand what I'm going through to the church has open arms. Like, yo, this is what, that's what they preach. Exactly. This is why, this is
Jo:what you're here for. Like, you kind of like knowing yourself, you can know you, you need need. There is certain awareness growth in, you know, certain people I'd be like, no, this isn't, you know, kind of this isn't right now.
Jenna:My, yeah, by now the kids showing up at these conventions, 15 and 16, knowing that they were different than everybody else and how their parents was responding was you need some type of conversion therapy that I was just like, whoa. And they were having conventions. Y'all don't have bigger convention center is for you to have that many people itch. They had camps. You sit at your kids to camp to be converted.
Shana:Me and Joe used to go. We, we met in college, Jerry. Was the colleague that we went to was on there. He was on, he was the bat.
Jenna:That's what they did. They had to go to these Christian schools and colleges because they were being, the gayness was supposed to be removed from them. How they couldn't be friends on Facebook, how they just couldn't live. And when I say Facebook y'all know, this stuff is current. So it was the end of the Exodus organization in 2013. But as you'll see on there that they had a convention, they changed up the word to repairative therapy. It was 2017 in San Diego. So this stuff was it's very new. So they got rid of the convention and just made smaller little worlds and all these churches, uh, things to control. And do you send your, you send your kid to conversion camp. Lizzie, you wouldn't send me to that camp cause I'd been doing some things. Oh my God. It would have been a field day.
Jo:They said, demon, get her out of here,
Jenna:hold her under the water. I know drown my ass in it. They
Parchelle:said at the, at the end of the conferences or whatever in the wee hours of the night that that's when I actually got to feel, just
Jenna:be queer different.
Parchelle:Yeah. And not being able to together
Shana:it's a lot. And it mean we, and I still like put it to the fact that people are really hurting and you know, I don't, I don't try to invalidate the fact that these people choose to still be gay, but to see it even after, even after bashing though, I was just like on the fact that how, you know, when you go into a setting you're accepted, you're wanted. And then when these people are woken, they became like, And that's how I feel now being more work, awoken, aware, aware, guys, I'm sorry. I'm just messing up today, but no,
Jenna:you got your woke up with all this, your head.
Shana:So it was heavy. It was super,
Jenna:it was a lot shout out to
Jo:It was like,
Shana:it wasn't loud, but I understand because it, it was like, and I'm saying this from the awoke people, because it's like, I'm, I feel like I'm a woke because I am able to not see people that way. You know what I'm saying? I'm able to like, yo, I, I apologize for even feeling bias toward third people, just who chose to, just to be different. Like, I literally want to cry because it hurts that this is how you felt and, and you kept this control or this. Thing in your head, it was taught to you, you know, to be in your head because of something that you're not even aware of. You're not even, and just because it's not you, you know, and you, you built this image and trying to stay away from these, you know, as though they were just strange individuals, you know what I'm saying? Like you did all of this, just because exactly what,
Jenna:how they, you know, how they did, they came together at the end, exited survivors, the meetup, they were calling themselves survivors. And that's what they decide. I'm glad they listened. Yeah. I'm the creator of Exodus. Well, I guess probably like the CEO, the people that continue to, um, influence with that bullshit, um, they met up towards the right. And they listened to the survivors and how it destroyed them. And I was like, whew, that's why I wrote down. They killed a lot of people, physically and emotionally. And those people that serve truly survive were like, this is what you did to me. This is you didn't allow me to be myself, but it was so many people that wasn't there because they had committed suicide because they think that there's no way to get. There is no way for me to be free. God does not accept my life. I'd rather just end it. And I think a lot of people are dealing with that right now. I went to a funeral two days ago and I'm gonna try to get through this with our crime. And what broke me down was rest in peace. Manny is back in may Manny put on his Instagram that he was in a relationship and it was with a man and none of us knew it. And I said, Manny and I met his boyfriend at the funeral and I said, Betty just started living for him. And you know what broke me down with Coby diet. It wasn't his daughter nine with him, the helicopter, all that was horrible. I said, Colby was America's player for all these years. He just retired. He just said, I want to stay at home with my kids. We might have another baby. You have been living for other people your whole life. And at this one moment you say, Hey, I'm living for me. He got honed. Matey has gone. Kobe has gone. You dedicate your whole life to everyone else except you except you. And then when you decide to be fully, you, you ain't got no time breaks me. Get that now live for you and you don't have it at 18. You got a whole lot of living to do a lot of shit to go through to be great, but it's okay to step out on you and bet on you and say who you are. Do you guys have anything
Shana:else? And even those people who feel as though, you know, it's too late for me. I just want you to know to start. I'm just saying in the mind to be that
Jenna:mindset, I want them to stop that it's never too late. No, it's not.
Shana:And even though like you have your teenage, you have your time, like do it now. Be more aware. Now it's like self care is important. Love yourself. Be who you are. Don't let other people put you if they ain't for you, then do something like to what I would tell my kids, but love fig figure it out, like seriously, be aware and start self caring.
Jo:One thing about the whole unconditional love. I like what you said about as an adult, we don't have to have unconditional. But there's the thing of light nonjudgmental love absolute, and there's a difference and there, and so you don't have to, I may not be that person in that sector for you, but I'm not going to judge you for being you. And I think that's what kills people. And I don't think people don't understand the difference between that light unconditional Derby conditions yet because you know, between us safe
Jenna:safety, safety.
Jo:Yes. But I won't, I won't bash you. I won't, I won't call you this now. I won't say on this, I won't get on me that you got, you have to distinguish between the two. You can still love somebody. Yes, but do not judge anybody because it's the judgment that kills. And I think we have to learn to separate that too.
Parchelle:So yeah. Um, this, this documentary, like I said, I offered it to
Jenna:us before.
Parchelle:didn't know, I didn't know. But, um, this, this for me brought up a lot because even seeing how these people, you know, had kids and went that lifestyle, um, you know, I, and I know not a lot of people knew about this, but I went to the fertility doctors to try to get pregnant. So that way I can have a kid and continue this normalcy. Like I really try it for that. I went through procedures, um, to do a lot, to, to live up to that standard that people wanted me to be. And so, um, Yeah, this, this really opened my eyes. And I, again, we talk about like self-awareness and working on ourselves. So this definitely is, um, encouraging me to look into healing for myself in this area more. Um, and I realized it for myself, like I'm a teacher, I'm a walking teacher to show people that there are different ways to love, different ways to be, and to express yourself. Um, and I also want to shout out my family and friends because like sharing with them, like how I truly have been really my entire life. And they saw it too. Like the, the acceptance that I felt, um, shout out to my family, even my mom who I know it's not easy for her to see me, you know, be somebody that she maybe wasn't proud of. But I know that, um, my mom has also been accepting and there is it's work and that has meant a lot. And my family and friends and people that was like, oh, okay, cool. Like even, even those responses metal, not because like I said, it takes courage to put yourself out there and knowing that people that you thought, you know, loved you, it was tested in a way, and they're still here. They still love me. They support me. And so that is, I think the meaning of this as well is that it's just about acceptance. You don't have to agree. You don't have to like, do all of that and just accept them for their feelings and how they are so good. Good.
Jenna:Um, we, we do have a little bit of people be people in, but I had just a couple of other things before we ended with the people be people. And, um, I want to say that I think there is space for you to love Jesus and be. Yeah. At the app and on there at the same damn time, you know, you, my, my understanding of the Bible apparently all came from vacation Bible school. And all I know is God is love. Somebody is telling y'all something different that they're not your people. Um, and there was some couple of things at the end of the episode, and it said approximately 700,000 people have gone through a form of conversion therapy in America alone. So we didn't know what we were doing. We started watching this, but somebody listening right now, you've probably been through this conversion therapy and got a whole lot of thoughts. So this one is for y'all you, you are, you are enough that you're okay. And the other one was a national server survey found that LGBTQ youth who experience, who experienced conversion therapy were more than twice as likely to attempt suicide. To suppress who you are to fit in with who, what this world and, oh, my takeaway, I have, you are enough. We love you. God loves you. You don't have to change a thing. You don't find your tribe. You are enough. Um, and I also want to talk about just a little bit of prayer. These people were praying on each other. Pray. I'm gonna pray for you. I'm gonna pray for you. I'm gonna pray for you. You guys learn at a, at a young age or right now in this ripe age, they all prayer and good prayer and you don't have to accept it. Not it turn down some proud of time. Oh no, thank you. only the evil be really own it. But anyway, Joe, tell us about the people be people in this week.
Jo:So this one is, is, is wild. It kind of goes into what we're talking about today. So let's say. Arrested for verbally and physically abusing a young boy because of his sexual orientation in this viral video, I didn't see the video.
Jenna:It was a video on Facebook
Jo:and I speak to him and what's disgust me is it was one of the people that were doing, it was a 35 year old man. One was 19 and the other one was 18. And apparently they were, they even, uh, haunted them in eight. They, it says so neighbors, if you weeks ago, saw a disturbing video, went viral on social media of a boy being taunted for being gay. The sick adults even shaved the word gay into his head. Well, police have arrested three after the social media posts was brought to their attention so that the kid is, um,
Shana:where's this it didn't say we know it's the
Jenna:south Florida, Mississippi Alabama list,
Jo:but you said, he said that, uh, What'd he do. He said that he knew that
Jenna:he was wrong. A couple of days later, there was another live video that the little, the victim posted where he was saying, he knew he was wrong for being gay. That is, that broke me down. And then what, they may have biased. He minimize what they did to him and he made it because he had chose to be gay. And of course, I think he was removed from the home.
Jo:Yeah. You're moving to home. He put in. Yeah. But, but that's, but can you imagine being that and then growing, like growing up, just not, just not feeling validated, anything you do after that, somebody abused you and like, you know what I'm saying? Physically abused you and now you're minimizing yourself. That's what happens to a human being. It is like, it's fine. Like it's okay. You
Shana:know what I mean? You want your family to love you.
Jenna:You want to be accepted part. That's where I get the disconnect, because for me, it's always been with. Yeah, but that's how I cope. And that's how I've dealt with life. Like if you ain't roll a, you ain't rolling with me next. That is a privilege response. And I accept that. That's who I am, because it's just been that like, okay, I wish you best.
Shana:I love to see free people. Like you though on around time, around your energy makes me want to be more like, okay, you know, Shauna and a dead ban, like yo,
Jenna:you know, or you know, all that, but you ain't going to be, but it ain't gonna be bad for him.
Shana:Not like that. But like, you don't have to control that situation. Like the way you stated, like, as if you know, the, when be able to compare the fact that, you know, I'll never be able to, like, that's like me walking around saying in a white, a white, you know what I mean?
Jenna:Yeah. I'm going across America, teaching white people. How to be white. Y'all be like If he also straight, why y'all talking about what gay people do, clean in the mail, come home. Ready? No, you're right. Why make cleaning the white baby? You all gay. And that's what I'm just
Shana:saying, where you're coming from at that
Jenna:point of, I just want you to be able to relate to it. So I'm going to change it up for everybody to be like, wait a minute.
Shana:So even though you're sitting in a privileged setting, you're also able to connect, to get people, to see why really? What are you, why are you behaving this way? Why
Jenna:are you making makes sense? Like, yeah.
Jo:And all three of these, they were all black. The story. Yeah. And they were all black in his story. And so it's like, I'm just like, it's like, it's damn to me, it brings back memories of being a child the way like, you know, they would treat not, they didn't physically do it, but the way, like we were talking about gay people going to hell, you know what I'm saying? Like, and I'm thinking of this kid being like, can you, I can't imagine being, I can imagine, you know, myself as a boy, there are things that I, you know, I thought that were not the way my parents thought. And I had learned to minimize my thoughts. I want them to minimize myself. But this is on a grand, another scale that, you know what I'm saying, that's damaging, you know, I'm just 35, I'm sorry, 37. And I'm just fixing a lot of the stuff that wasn't even do. You know what I mean on that level? Can you imagine when he's going to have to go through, they got hurt.
Jenna:How many other people he go hurt? That's what I'm saying. So he gone decide to be straight. He gonna try to be straight so he could be accepted hurt. And then how many children he gonna leave behind in the black community? Yeah, this is what we see nonstop. And now he had 40, he now gay, but you've ruined so many other blinds
Shana:in the class because yeah, wasn't
Parchelle:we have to evolve. And it starts in these moments where somebody just revealed, like, I think it takes courage to reveal anything about yourself and to be honest and just make it a point as a human, just to accept and just let somebody know that
Jenna:don't. Except is the way somebody is doesn't mean that you agree. Yeah. You don't have to agree
Parchelle:with it. Explain it. Don't go beat them up.
Jenna:Nobody deserves that for even don't agree with you robbing the bank, but if you had to Rob the bank, I'll be like, all right, I have to push, you know, you're wrong. Stealing is wrong. Ain't no, none of that, like, okay. It ain't for me, but it doesn't mean that I can't support you now. Can I hold a couple? catch y'all next time.