Nit Transfers & A Peeing Date: Your Dating & Breakup Horror Stories

And then he starts peeing on me, on me, then.

It'd be so warm. That is your first it would sick. Hey, welcome back to it.

Just for a girl, just the girls. How's your week is?

What have I been doing?

I honestly think my mind has been like so heavily consumed with surgery prep.

Yeah.

The amount of fucking shit I've ordered on Amazon in the last couple of days is insane. But I went on a date on Saturday.

Oh, it was Saturday.

It was on Saturday.

Oh, at a house party on Friday.

Have really fun.

It's so funny how different girl and boys share houses are. Yeah, girls share houses like clean, They've got nice furniture, they're decorated.

They had a little Marquis bie. It was cute.

And then I had a date on Saturday with a guy I met actually on Hinge. Yeah, I don't think i'd like, I don't think we're going in a long day.

Have you spoken since? Oh suppose if you like kind of got the vibe.

I think it was were just with different personality, because like a lovely guy all the same.

Everyone's always like there's.

No date horror stories Like I I never find that it's like a date horror story and something really bad goes wrong. It's like they're such nice guys. It's just like it didn't gel. Longevity is just not yeah, you know what I mean. So that was that was fine. Sunday, chill day. Oh I've got the golf and Graceful Gardens coming tomorrow.

The chip to clean my wardrobe.

Oh my god, I'm so excited for you.

I know, I feel like it'll be good how it is, because I will film it.

Yeah. Right.

So I had like six boxes maybe still sitting in the back of my wardrobe from my move in December that I just hadn't unpacked yet, purely because I'm like, no, this stuff won't fit in my wardrobe even if I do unpack it, so like I might as well just leave it in those boxes. So for prep, I've like gone through all the boxes, separated what I want to

In a flat like it's like a flat pack.

So I have to make that before she gets there. Yeah, I think I'm just gonna make it tomorrow.

While she's like, I don't know how. I'm like so.

Excited for you because I really wanted to get her, but my apartment's so small and it's like I actually don't have a lot of stuff, so it's like I feel like I would get her once I've like moved into a place and like a want to make the things. Yeah, but I'm so excited for you.

I just think I have so much stuff still that I'm like, yeah, you have a lot of struggle to get rid of things.

Yeah, you're not a minimalist.

No, I'm not a minimalist.

But I also like I find sentimental value in things and go like maybe I'll wear that one day.

Yeah.

That's why I have so much stuff still is because I struggle to throw things out.

Your challenge will be is like keeping it clean and like actually doing it. It's once cheap, it's.

My wardrobe is still like somewhat tidy from when I did it.

Besides the boxes.

Like if the boxes isn't there, everything else is color organized, Everything's fine. It's just I wish I had like some guy I could just call and be like, hey, howp we make this chest of drawers.

You can get it on air Tasker.

I've never used air Tasker.

You just download the app and you get someone to come build your flat pack for you and you pay.

Them like country.

It's like, oh, you know, well you can approve them.

Really you got to see photos of them. They have to the air Tasker.

They have to be like verified on the app and everything, like they're legit.

Well I think I need that because, like with all this ship I have to organize today, I'm like I don't have time to build a chest flaws.

Just get an air task guy to do it.

Play how have you been? How's your preph?

Like non existent? Literally like non existent?

Are you packed? I never packed all the day before anything?

Well, I'm just like again, like I said lot in last week's episode, like I don't even know what the fucked pack. So it's like I'm literally just gonna throw in hard my wardrobe and just like get going just everything you like, Yeah, I'm just like having a really weird time, Like my face is so puffy. I've literally been crying for like the last three days, and I

Three or like with these girls.

Yeah, so like I was saying goodbye and I said goodbye to someone I really love and like I was like I don't know when I'm going to see you next, which is like really weird because I don't have a return flight. So it's like you're leaving it open end.

Is it's daunting?

Yes, And I'm like setting myself a challenge, like I want to see what life is like over there, and like I don't like I'm gonna I'm entering.

Is setting yourself a challenge if it comes to a point where you'll say not enjoying it.

Don't stay just because it's a challenge.

Yeah, yeah, I know what I mean.

Yeah, follow what makes you happy because you're taking this step to hopefully do something that makes you feel good in something you enjoy. And it's like, if you end up not enjoying it, that's not a defeat. Yeah, it just didn't work.

Oh yeah, yeah. It just was like I'm entering and think of unknown and it's like I'm voluntarily doing this to myself.

Why not It's wuld be the best thing you've ever done.

It could could be, but yeah, you'll be fine. I haven't packed or anything like that. I'm just kind of like whatever, I'm dreading the fly like fucking dready?

Are you in economy?

Yeah?

I would have thought maybe you would have gone business due to the suitcase situation.

No, I just paid for two suitcases, right. I was really contemplating flying business because I was like, treat myself like that is that's like I thought you would have.

I did, But.

Melita and I are in it together, right, so it's like I'm not going to fucking be like bye when she's flying down to Melbourne to fly with me. So I'm like, right, wearing it together. We'll see it. We'll play our iPad games. Both of us are playing and coloring on r iPad. Yeah, we're in it together. We're good to go. Like, how long is are I? We fight a Doha and then we fight to London.

I feel like it's good that it's broken up.

Yeah. I think it's like fourteen hours than seven hours. Ooh or seven hours then fourteen hours.

You'll be fine. Knock yourself out. Yeah, play some games.

Yeah, I'm like Qatar. I'm like one of the do you know when you have like people where it's like, oh, I try to like on the plane, like I try to sleep the time that like London's asleep.

I just sleep whenever.

I'm like, I will want to sleep this whole time because fucking sitting on that plane is like excruciating.

And sleeping with the time.

Go ask like I will sleep on a flight to Sydney because I'm like then all of a sudden it's like beak, I'm awake and I'm out.

Yeah great exactly. Yeah I'm not fucking trying.

To buy pillow.

Yeah, I'll do everything like that.

Fuck, I was gonna say, you know, there's fucking stupid Amazon ones that like I always am too embarrassing to use, but I know it would make my journey easier. Tho's like big blot ones that you stick your arms in and you rest them on the table and you yeah, but it's like your flight is there more comfortable? Like why would you not? Yeah, that's anxiety speaking to you. I know it would make my flight better, but like.

It done really cares how much you know, But it's like I don't want to like be logging this through the airport.

It's blow up, like strings down. You should get it.

I think it's too late now.

Amazon True Delivery.

Yeah. Well, on this week's episode, guys, we are doing horror breakup stories all the ship that we love.

So it's time for question of the week.

Okay, easy, would you rather be trapped in a group chat with all your exes? Oh, go on a double date with your current crush and the X.

Go on a double date with my current crush and his ex Actually, both my exes pretty well don't talk at all, so like I think I would only be talking to myself in that group, Like they would just be in there, but they would just be reading everything I say.

They wouldn't say anything same so.

That but yeah, I think that would be preferable because then I don't have to be face to face with them, because bottom line, it's just awkward. Like Sam has seen me interact with my initial ex and it's awkward, like we it's so weird to think that you spend so much of your life with this person and then all of a sudden they're a complete fucking stranger, Like that guy is a stranger to me.

Yeah, Like I'm one who could like talk in any situation, but when I was there.

It was hell.

To say, it was hell because it has been probably like three years since we'd last seen each other anyways, and like our lives are so different, and I like I couldn't even I couldn't do work, Like it was fucking hell. Anyway, I think I think my more recent next week and actually converse, but it's more because we're just trying to be polite. But the other one, it's like he doesn't give a shit about being polite, so we actually just sit in silence. Yeah yeah, which is really fun.

But it could also be fun to like a guy that you're crashing on just like get like he's ex involved it there on, like good terms and shit and like all have it.

I don't really think it's more about like it would be awkward now because I.

Am like, do you I'm like, oh, so, like, how was your sex wife?

Oh?

My god, like I might. I just like don't care about those things really weird.

Yeah, but I feel like you're taking it so literally.

Yeah, all right, let's get into storytime.

Story number one.

Hi, girls, I have an outrageous story from a couple of years ago, back when I was deep in the trenches of single life.

I'm deep in those trenches, mabe.

Seriously, I've been screwed over so many times. So when the sweet, nerdy guy from my unique class started flirting with me, I thought, you know what, let's give the nice.

Guy a shot.

I really want this to go well, because I need to give the nice guy shot. Every Thursday night, our UNI threw these chaotic parties. One Thursday, I thought, screw it, let's go all in. We're dancing in the maush. He's actually fun and we're vibing. The night winds down and I invite him back to mine. You can put two and two together. It's a good night. We're lying in bed post fun and I'm genuinely thinking, Wow, maybe I have.

What say it?

Wow, maybe I've finally broken the curse of the fuck boys. Then I don't know where he goes. I have knits?

What what? Like?

Honestly, mate, you didn't need to tell me that.

I would have rather just found out because my head was itchy in a couple of days, Like because I would have assumed it was a friend. I would never have assumed it was you. Oh my god, my eyes shoot open like I've heard a gunshot, and I'm like.

Excuse me.

He casually repeats it like he's just forgotten to feed his goldfish.

No, I have nits, Like, oh my god.

The three immediate questions One, how does the twenty one year old man get knits?

Two? Why would you go home with someone when you know you're a bio hazard? Three? Why tell me now?

To top it all off, the next morning, I had to go by a knit treatment while catastrophically hungover. Our bathroom was under renovation, so I had to go to the public gym to do it. Picture me in a communal shower, drenching my scalp in pesticide shampoo and trying not to cry while I was zoomber class rages next door.

Thanks for letting me share my trauma. Love you guys. You're an amazing storyteller. Girl. You should write a book. Yeah, I love that, but I.

Will just I think my one big question is like you could have You didn't have to tell me that, like this isn't it STD, But you're like obliged to tell me. I'll find out and I'll do knit treatment in a couple of days.

You did not need to. I probably would have seen it.

Yeah, it's just such a scary thing to me because it's like if you leave even just one of those bad boys alive, you have to do it again.

You know what I mean. I was back in the day there was like this. I think I've told her on the podcast. There was probably one kid in school and he had knits twenty four to seven and he like, do you know when you get the email all the parents get the email and being like there's nits in the classroom. Someone never treated their kid, and my mom I would have to do weekly knit treatments because I got knits all the time because I have really curly

I wouldn't tell they hate getting nit trimmers or fee like, they wouldn't even tell their parents like they have it.

But like mym would see me each my head and.

Be like, come on, yeah.

Mom would only use conditional condition because it's life treatment because it paralyzes the knits. And then she'd combed it out.

Yeah. I remember we'd sit in the kitchen and watch fucking sunrise.

And then she'd like pull out the tissue and like comb it out and you'd see all the It's.

Incredibly satisfying, but also like fucking disgusting.

Or did you have that cone that would zap them? That's how my mum would chest if I had it, she would go run it through my hair and it would zap the lice.

And kill it. Yeah, you've got them like an electric comb. Yeah, I've never I just the pain of those metal ones that have the really thin sort of comby thing is the pain of that pulling on a knot in your hair.

Oh anyway, it was just.

One day that I had just and then I never got knits again. But I'm not For like three years straight, I had knits every one to two weeks and then it just never happened again.

I mean, my sister would always give them to each other. Yeah, my brother had dreadlocks. So I wonder, can you let us know if you actually got knits from this guy? I'm actually really curious.

Thank you.

Oh no, well she did treatment straight away. Okay.

Next, I've got the best dating horror story. I match with this guy on hinge. We'd been talking for a few weeks, but I wasn't really interested. He seemed super keen, asking to see me constantly, so I finally gave in and decided to hang out with him. Worst decision ever. We met up after UNI and we went back to his house. The conversation was great and he seemed really sweet until he wasn't. After we hooked up, he completely flipped. He looked at me and says, get the fuck away from me.

Oofed.

I laughed, thinking he was joking, no, dead serious. Then he started saying weird cryptic things like people lie. You know, you've probably been lied to so many times. I told you I wasn't a murderer. I didn't say I wasn't a psycho.

What the fuck.

This man had?

So?

Yeah, I would have been like, oh my god, I'm about to die. This man had no soul behind his eyes. I was terrified. I tried to leave, but my phone was about to die. He wouldn't let me charge it and refuse to tell me where the tramp stop was. Eventually I escaped, and as soon as I got out, I realized he blocked me on everything.

What is wrong with this man? I'd like an explanation from this man.

Getting turns out we had a mutual friend. I found out he wasn't the only one he had done it to. He's like one of these people who has like a secret fantasy of like swindling women. That's like a mental illness.

I think that's insanity.

I would like post on a Facebook group and be like, no one go on a date.

With this guy.

That's like a mental illness.

But I wonder what the cause of that was. Not to say that there needed to be a cause, because he sounds like he's a psychoony probably he just would have done it anyways, But like I wonder.

Why, I wonderful what the psychology behind that is? We should just go ask because next to us a psychiatrist.

The story, let us know what this guy's got.

I think moral of the story is, don't go to a hinge guy's house on the first date.

It's so hard dating because it's like.

You do like even in the day I went on like obviously we have mutual friends and he was a nice guy. But so many people go on dates with like complete strangers that they meet on dating ops and you just never fucking know.

Yeah, Like my old housemate Nelly, she's German, she's from Germany, so she doesn't know a lot of people here, but she'll always like check them before she goes, and a lot of the time I'll have mutuals with them, so I like give her the rundown, yeah, and be like, he's safe.

But so many times people would go on dates with people they have no mutuals with, or they do that in other countries and stuff, and guys that they've just met, and it's like, how do you stay safe in a setting like that if you are just trying.

To meet someone do you know what I mean? It's actually really challenging.

All right.

The next story, Okay, so there was this guy I was on and off with for about a year. He was always wild, but this night takes the cake. He came over absolutely wasted, and we you know, did the deed. I can never sleep with someone in bed, so I'm tossing and turning when he's suddenly starts sleep talking No biggie, he starts wriggling like crazy, and I'm like you.

Could no response.

He then sits up, starts staring at himself in the mirror. Next thing I know, he stands up, whips out his dick and starts peeing all over my floor. I don't mean sprinkle, I mean like Niagara falls and it went on for three minutes. How would you clean that? I would bowl him over to get him to stop peeing, because it's like, I don't want you to.

Start spraying everywhere like it's a fucking.

Honestly, would rather get it on myself than have it drenched my fucking like stop, do you know what I mean?

Like knock the man down?

My god feel sick.

I start screaming at what the actual fuck are you doing? And midstream he goes, shut up, bitch, let me pee, and then he starts peeing on me, on me, then into it'd be so warm that is your first door, it would stick.

It's me.

I hope you're hydrated.

Get into a popcorn bowl I had in my room. And when he's done, he picks up the piss filled bowl and drnies himself with it.

You're lying, this is a lie.

This is couldn't you take me to the bathroom I need to be I shoved him in there, slammed the door, and ran. He came back confused, laughed when I explained everything, cleaned it all up, and went to bed like nothing happened. I really hope you had like wooden floors or something same. And then I stayed with him after that, don't ask. Eventually I left, but I will never forget that curse night.

Oh my god. The way he acted like so normal about it means he's done it.

So many times and he's just like he's I actually had a friend. I wonder if this was last year or the year before. They came home and they were like really really out of it. And that was a share house, like there were three girls living there, and let's call it Betty. Betty goes into one of the girl's room and the girl, let's call it Sarah. Sarah's asleep in bed and she's been sick because she was

Wash her? She then I had to clean the floor because the floor's now covered in the moment. Well, I feel cozy, I know.

Can you imagine being asleep in your bed, having a bowl of vomit next to you and then just like waking up to your friend like pouring it on your head and you being like, babe.

What the fuck are you doing? I couldn't believe it.

Story number four. This was potentially the most awkward moment of my life. Match with this guy on hinge, tall, tanned, blue eyes, total a dream boy.

Can you send him my way after this story, I probably won't want him.

We clicked and he instantly offered to take me to an Italian restaurant, since I'm Italian and I love food.

Lovely is is he?

Have you ridden in? I wrote this, I drove just in case it got awkward. Thank god I did. When I walked in, he was at a huge table talking to what looked like a big family. He waved me. Turns out it was his entire family family, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, you name it. He invited me to his mom's fiftieth birthday without telling me what the fuck He introduced me to everyone as his date. I didn't even know him

They're family, like it would be for me to have a date on a family thing like that. I'm like, that's then awkward for me because I'm so worried about this person all night and making sure that they're enjoying themselves and that like everyone's being yes to them.

I could never do that.

Like my my ex boyfriend because I lived at home when he when we went on our first date, he picked me up and he came inside because I wasn't ready. I just finished work and he met my parents. But like that was because I lived at home, but he didn't meet my brothers, Like my brothers are a big one, Like meeting my oldest brother Patrick is like you're asking

Yeah make that. I feel like my family is not like that, as like my dad's not like her.

He's just like okay, hey, come on, like give a little more.

Make them scared.

I just that's why they always cheat on me, because Dad doesn't scare them off.

Yeah, I always just tell the boys to like talk about sporks. My dad's a peety teacher and he just loves sports, so like just talk about like footy or like tennis or like riding bikes or something like that.

And just like you'd have to talk about fucking cars reminder or McDonald's.

That's it.

Yeah, But like now I'm like, oh my god, I would not introduce you to my family unless like we're actually dating. I'd introduce you to my mom because my mom's such like a sweet soul. She just like wants to make you muffins.

And yeah, like that.

The guy I was like seeing for like not seeing kind of talking to it for a little bit, met my mum at the footy just because she was also at the game, and like it was fine, Like Mom's just to like they're chillen, they're just nice.

They just want to be friendly.

Yeah, but my dad's like, you're fucking my daughter.

Ooh, don't put dad and that word in the same fucking sentence.

Disgusting. Okay, next. Sorry.

When my boyfriend and I broke up, it was because he cheated on me with multiple girls and was super manipulative. One night, I was drunk at the club and he tried to dance with me. I wasn't having it, so he went to another girl and started grinding on her right next to me.

Oh perfect.

I wouldn't even know what to do in a situation like that, lady.

He came back to try and get me again, and I told him, hope you lose your dick, since you think more with that than your brain.

A month later, he called me saying he.

Had a month later he called me saying I had testicular cancer and had to get one removed. Now he tells people I cursed him, So yeah, I love your girls, love the pond.

Oh, I would feel guilty, like forever.

I'd be like, oh my god, I'm a witch.

Like maybe it's not your fault, it's not your fault, but like I would feel guilty.

I'd be like, oh my god, I'm a witch. All my wishes come true. Then I'd be like, what other spells can I cast?

I have done a love spell? Do you remember? There was a stunky little witch shop near where I live, and my mom loves that shit.

I had this person who is like, I know there's a white witch, and she was like I was like speaking to her, like talking like we'll just like debriefing and like talking about all that hardship that will have going on. And she was like, cast a spell, cast a spell on it. She's like it works every.

Time I need a look more into spells like that.

I didn't do it because then I'm like karma, Karma's gonna get me.

I'm also like I can't fuck with the world like that. Yeah, things aren't gonna happen the way that they're meant to happen. Yeah, And if I cast a spell, like any bets, I'll end up regretting it, like copy, like I really like this guy, like make him obsessed with me, and then like lo and behold, he ends up like murdering me because he loves me so much, you know what I mean? Like I just you never know, I just wouldn't fuck with it. Yeah, don't cast spell scills.

It's not good, all right. Last story in twenty twenty three, I match with this German guy who was visiting his family.

Here.

From the first message, it was weirdly perfect, same tasting, art, photography, design, even music. Our first date an underground DJ set from a German artist. They were literally playing microwave sounds as the music like straight up kitchen appliance noise.

Oh like she hated it. I'm getting the vibe.

I was trying to process the noise and suddenly he pulls me into a hallway and starts making out with me midwalk. Kind of sounds zero warning.

It's kind of hot, hmm.

I was just trying to locate the DJ and he's already tongue first. He gave me his jumper that night and told me he really wanted to see me again. He gave me his number, and honestly I was into it. Two days later we did a wholesome switch up a photography date at the Botanical Garden.

God, these are like interesting days.

Yeah. He bought his nats and a picnic rug. That's really cute.

I hate that. This is horror sory. It's going to hap.

We wandered around, took some photos, and then Mick convo. He turns to me while holding my hand and goes, yeah, I just don't like you.

See, some people need to realize that stuff doesn't need to be said. You can slow ghost. You do not need to tell someone that you don't like them.

Yeah.

So I've just plenty forty five minutes with you. I've come to the English night.

I just don't like you.

It's actually quite frankly offensive as well, because you're like, is there something that wrong with me that like these guys that she's like, I don't like.

He has to say it to me. Yeah, I was like okay. Not even two seconds later, he tries to shove he's tongue down my throat after friends owning me. I was just standing there like.

It's got to be a cultural thing.

What I was just standing there like, what chapter of the dating hair book is this? Then he asked me to walk into the bathroom because he needed to pee. I stored it in there, kind of confuse, like a confused emotional support human, waited until each other door and dipped so fast and basically vanished. Oh my god, you stood him up so fair?

I would I think that's a I think it's fair.

No, I just think, oh yeah, I don't like you make out with me? Can you take me to the toilet? I think the weirdest part of that is can you walk me to the toilet?

Yeah? Like where's the bath? Like?

Why do I need to do that?

Yeah? Fuck, I don't know.

I wonder if you ever got in contact with that after I feel like you.

Yeah, I feel like there's a bit enough said.

Fucking hell. Well, I loved those ones.

I think what was the first one?

I think then it was Overabe. That was funny.

All right, guys, that was our horror story episode. Thank you so much for sending you in your stories again. And we hope you have more relationship like in the future.

Yeah.

I hope weisht that on us too.

Yeah, please, we need it.

I'm just about done with dating apps.

Maybe you should just delete it for a bit.

I just redownloaded it three days ago. Perfect, fucking hell. All right, guys, you next week.

Bye,