Explosive Secrets & Moving Away: Your Dilemmas Part 2

You can sing Dad's ally.

Hey aren't they Australian represent Ye shout out, Yeah you needed that.

M This is so sad you're leaving in like less than a week. I'm leaving in six days. Jed enough.

I'm so fucking excited. I'm so fucking excited just.

Going to London for those are one way flight to London for those who don't know, I'm planning on staying for well, I've booked accommodation for two months, just planning and working living over there, kind of just like sussing the vibe. I would like to do a few years of like some are their summer in Australia, like follow the sun kind of vibe.

I'm so excited. I'm going over with my friend Malita. We're staying.

I lead. It's such an angel, Like she's such an angel, and she's such a good cook.

Such a good cook, good I know.

So we've got a little apartment in West London and we're just going to stay there, base ourselves out of there for a couple of months.

Yeah, I've got a few people.

No, fuck hugely, I know, because I love I love London. No, I think I think you'll like it. Yeah, like London was the one place I could have seen myself moving if I ever was able to take that late. So yeah, I think you like it.

I think I love it.

I've got a few people that I know they're it was so good meeting some extra girls like Coachella. I've got a few girls staying with me. So last minute, but I've been chatting to Maddie, she works for remy by Riley, and she was like, oh my god, I want to stay in London so bad because I was replying to her story.

She's there at the moment and she's actually.

Extended for another week, so she's going to come stay with me and we're gonna stay around there and hang out together. We've never met, so we were really interesting.

But you're good at that shit. That's how you met Melita.

Yeah.

I met Melita from this podcast because she is from the Gold Coast and she danned me. She saw that I was up there by myself, and she's like, if I listened to the podcast, if you want to go for a walk, Like.

We actually used Melita. We did like this segment once and I think girls doing this segment caused more of an issues than the boys doing it, but it's like who's punching in the relationship and with Malita and her boyfriend, Like she sent in her and Levi and then Sam and her ended up going on.

A walk and now we've been like she's the best.

Shout out to you, Malina.

So yeah, when you're listening to this, I'll be over there. I'm sure I'll be.

Updating on my socials.

But yeah, I'm so excited for this tree exited for you. You're excited to get out of Melbourne. It's so bad because I live for the future, like I live for my next trip. Yeah, like I always have something booked. But I'm okay with that at this point of my life. And I'll figure that probably, well.

You're young, and why not if you have the freedom and the financial freedom to be able to experience those things, I feel like it's amazing and if like I would have loved to do stuff like that, but I'm not sure that I could live without my family, you know.

So I feel like you definitely takes a certain type of person.

Yeah.

Yeah, I moved out of home quite young and I always grew up as quite an independent kid, So I like don't like obviously I'll miss my family, but I don't feel I don't feel the feeling of missing someone. Yeah right, Yeah, I may say it's a little bit psychopathic of.

Me, but no, well why not you get to experience all these amazing things. Yeah, you can to hear about it can get big. It's so exciting.

We're doing dilemmas today. Do you want to hit us with the with the first one of the week?

It's kind for question of the week? Would you rather be universally liked but mid at everything or kind of hated but elite at everything you do?

I could argue that I'm both.

I'm very hated, but I'm very good at what I do because people wait for.

Me, so you know, that's what I'm also last one that's saying kind of hated but eladed everything you do.

That's but I'm also mid minted everything. Yeah, you just like I'm not good at it?

You mean you're kind of hated be omitted everything.

Yeah, like I wish one.

Would you rather? I disagree that that's the case. You're great at whatever you set your mind to. Oh, but I'm very hated. People online seem to have their own personal opinions but you're not hated. It's people that's a percentage.

It's just people that know me, don't hate me, people who think they know me.

It's just online. And I feel like that comes with the envy that we were talking about in the last one. They know I personally would rather be kind of hated and elided everything.

Yeah, because I will understand why people hate me. It's like, fuck me.

She can do javelin and she can fucking swim one hundred meters really fast, and it's.

Like, yeah, I hate me too, Yeah, trying to go up against me against anything.

You wouldn't want to surround yourself with people that are jealous of your achievements anyways, you know.

Yeah, Like I was like, I'd love to walk in and be like, yeah, I can fucking break dance and I can sing, I can dance, and like I want to be a triple to it and I can act.

Then I can just do anything. I'd be loaded. Yeah, I'd be like Hugh Jackman of the Entsanement world. Hu Jackman can do everything.

Yeah, exactly, And probably a lot of people hate he.

Q because they're like, you can sing, dance and act a Helly or Hailey helly, aren't they slay? Jackman, Australian represent Yeah, shout out, Yeah you needed that. Yeah.

I feel like he's dying at the moment, Like he's like not getting as much like public Wolverines breaking.

Yeah. So like we're just.

Gonna hype him up again because I feel like he's getting back into the spotlight.

You know, we'll do it for you here. Yeah, we got you, Hugh love ya looking up your Tuesday.

The Lamatte number one. Hey girls, jumping right in. I'm moving to London this August or September for six or twelve months.

L Hey kay show. This has been a dream of mine for years.

I want to step out of my comfort zone, travel, meet new people, and hopefully figure out what I want in my life.

Same sister. I'm twenty four and still not sure about my career or future path. Same sister.

He's a complication. I'm in an amazing six year relationship. I've been with him since I was eighteen. We're in such a good place. Our love and communication is so strong and I truly believe he's my great love.

But he's not coming with me.

He just got his dream job offer in Melbourne and He's waited over a year for it, and it starts in September. We've talked about maybe doing long distance or publicsibly separating.

Well, I'm away. It's hard.

Sometimes we think it's best to take our break to go on our own. Other times we get really sad at the thought of being a part. We haven't made the decision yet. Neither of us want to see other people.

It's not about that.

We just wonder living separate lives will help us for a bit to grow as individuals. Long distance seems tough, especially when I don't know exactly when I'll return. I'd love an outside perspective. What would you do in this situation, especially you Sam, since you're also going.

I probably get the soul searching side of this. Help a girl out.

I think that you should do long distance if you don't want to see anyone and you just feel like this is your guy. It's like you can soul search and experience and be over there and meet new people and do new things while still having that connection to that person that you love.

I disagree.

Tell me about it.

So you've been dating since you were eighteen in our twenty four if your love is strong enough you will come together. But I think in your twenties, especially in your early twenties, I was in a very serious relationship and I thought that were my be all and or. But being single in your early twenties has made me grow so much more without the back end, without feeling

I get that. I just think that if you are going to make that decision, you need to lay some serious ground rules about what you expect of the other person. Say if you're like, when I get back, we'll get

I don't think you break up to get back together, but I think you just say, we can really appreciate the time that we've had over the last six years.

If it's meant to be, it will be, but let's give ourselves a year.

Let's when I get back from London, let's meet up sus from there, maybe you have moved on, maybe you haven't.

Maybe if you were meant to.

Find somebody else and this was a reason as to how you found somebody else. Like, I just think you go in with absolutely no expectation, just be like, we love what we've had. If it were meant to be, we can either be friends and catch up when I get home, but for right now, like, let's end it and see each other in a ear.

Fair enough, I'm sure regardless you'll get some amazing experiences out of all of this, and just try and be present in the moment regardless. I just I find letting go of someone you love would be so challenging if it is an amazing relationship. But I think you guys will both be able to figure that out and know what's right.

I think the fact that you guys are even discussing potentially breaking up should be what you end up choosing, because if that was like not on the cards at all, and you're like, no, I'm going to go leave over there for six to twelve months and we're just got distance like then that that would have been the question. But the fact that you guys are questioning that you don't know what your relationship to do.

Yeah, you don't know if.

Your relationship can last that distance because you've never experienced that before. So I think you owe it to each other to end it, to save yourself from putting yourself in those positions, because you are questioning it at the end of the day, and if you really thought your love could handle it, you wouldn't be questioning it in the first place. God have so much fun, though, girl, that sounds fun. Dilemon number who Hey, ladies, I need your advice.

I'm from Melbourne and spend a lot of time in Bali, with plans to move there soon. I have a great group of friends, including one of known for four years. Let's call her Sarah. She was my first friend there and has always been super into dating, often seeing multiple guys in a short time. And that is Bali.

Bali is like fucking open relationships Central ever.

Because a lot of guys come in and out, so it's like you'll date someone and then they'll like go back to where they're from.

Yeah, and it's like you've lived like a four years relationship in two weeks and it goes so fast and you like rush everything and then next week you've got a new.

One, or you just send it Hi Mario.

He got a new girlfriend like two weeks after and now they live together and have a dog, and he's got a tattoo with her initials on it.

And I was apparently the love of his life and he'll never.

Is a little it's like a vacuum.

Yeah, it's a fantasy, it really is.

It's a fantasyland.

It's just funny.

On my last trip, we were watching the sunset with friends when Sarah invited a guy named She hooked up with him briefly back in November and hadn't really mentioned him since. When I met him, I was instantly attracted, and Sarah encouraged it, saying he was totally my type and they were just friends now. Oh after that, Josh and I started talking once Sarah left Bali for working, and I spent a lot of time together. I even messaged her to check if she was okay with it,

I know I'm too excited, you told me.

Ever since, she's been posting him on a story every single day, and just like that, Josh ghosted me. Sarah hasn't messaged me either. FU.

She's one of those friends that's like, I want to still I still get it and bruin what they have because she thinks it's so strong, but I just want to see back and break it.

One of those friends that's like I need to know that everyone's boyfriend just thinks I'm really hot though, like you can date him, but I need to know that, like if ye had the chance, he would leave you for me.

I can't.

There are people like that in every fucking friendship group. I'm thinking of specific people like that. I haven't confronted either of them, but I feel completely blindsided. Sarah had a chance to be honest, and Josh could have shut it down to I feel like I've lost a friend and a guy I really liked. She's coming to visit me in Melbourne in two weeks. What do I do? I don't want to pretend I'm not hurt, because honestly, I feel in my gut that they've slept together. So I reckon you ask Yasca.

And be like, have you slept with him? Why would you do that?

When you said you didn't have any feelings or anything? Like, why would you tread on something that you knew? I like, I knew I really liked him and then for him. Boys, I'm not justifying their actions, but sometimes they literally just think with their dick.

And I think you need a message the guy and be like, Hey, what's happened, Yeah, something happened. We haven't spoken in a while. Like, I appreciate it. I just appreciate, Yeah, you being honest with me.

I just feel like I'm I deserve a little bit more than be ghosted, Like I'm interested in me.

Things are going well?

Yeah, all good if you're not interested in me anymore. I just feel like I deserve a bit of clarification.

And if Sarah has gone and slept with him, it's definitely something then to reconsider whether you feel like you should be as close as you are, because girls like that, the type of girls that we were just referring to, never change, and you don't want a friend like that in your life.

Sam number three, the lovem number three, Yeah, number three. I've been a fan of your TikTok days and love listening to for Jesa girls.

But I've really hit a tough spot and I don't know what to do. I mean with my boyfriend for nearly two and a half years, and he generally makes me so happy. He brings out the best in me, and we've always had such a strong connect, lots of laughs and only minor disagreements. But lately things have changed. We both just graduated. He's trady and I'm in UNI and well, I believe couples can grow together.

I'm scared we're starting to grow up.

Part I struggle with anxiety and sometimes spiral with overthinking, which I know affects how I see relationships.

There's an issue.

I've tried opening up about how I feel disconnected, and every time I do, he reassures me.

But then two weeks later we're distant again.

We can go days without a meaningful conversation and I miss him so much, but I don't even know how to express that properly. It's my anxiety that makes me question everything. I really love him and can see a future with him, but I feel stuck. Am I overthinking it? Or is this distance something I really need to face? Thank you so much, I'd.

Love your advice.

I wonder if this distance is coming from entering a new era and just trying to get a manage on things, you know what I mean? Because the fact that he's reassuring you of it. Yeah, Like I feel like if a boy is like really not interested, if you mention it, they'll take that out, you know what I mean. Yeah, but he's just started probably this new job you've just started UNI. Maybe he's just trying to get a manage on everything.

Yeah, I think it's really easy to get in your head when but like I is, he said, you guys are both starting new eras and you can grow together.

But it's like.

What you guys were once comfortable with is now not your norm. So it's like, I think prioritizing doing nice things for one another and just be like, let's go on a date night and like mixing the quality times, yeah, and like mixing things up in your day to day life and normal relationship while you adjusted this new period and just be like, I think we need to prioritize each other a little bit more and do something nice as you guys.

Are disconnected now, Yeah, you know what I mean. I think honesty and transparency is the only way to move through these times if you do want to continue it, you know.

And I think it's okay going days without having a meaningful conversation. You don't need to have a deep, meaningful conversation. Every single relationship should also be l liked. Yeah, a bit of an escape from that sort of stress. So I wouldn't stress that there are meaningful conversations, Like you've been dating for two and a half years.

But as fellow anxious girlies, we can understand how you get in your head hatically with that sort of stuff. But I think you just going to give it a bit of time and an adjustment period because you are both entering new stages and just be honest, be open, and hopefully if you can at least see that he's trying to make new steps to make that connection.

As you both said, like you're both starting new jobs, like maybe be like, let's go to the markets and make a really nice lunch or something on a Sunday, Like prioritize doing something nice in the weekend, so then you can ed to the new week.

A booked dinner, like let's go have a cute little date night hang out. Then maybe you can have a meaningful conversation. Then yeah, I think just you have to play it by year when you're entering new settings.

Like that, Yeah, and give each other some grace. It's a grace period.

Good luck. Eirly happy for you, though, I'm happy for everyone that's in love, happy and jealous. Dilema number four, Hi, Love the Pod. Need your advice on something super messy. Do share please? My friends both Mary and Bob not their real names, you don't. They've been together for three years, but things have been rocky. Mary just got offered her dream job in Sydney, huge opportunity, and Bob's freaking out and begging her not to go. Bob needs to grow

While Mary, sometimes there are those relationships they're like so jealous of their partner that they like sabotage.

Or that they're worried that they'll get these opportunity and leave them behind. While Mary was in Sydney for work recently, she cheated on Bob.

Oh, Mary, come on, I was patching for you.

She didn't say it was messy. It was a one night thing with the guy she calls her soulmate. Now she's torn. Does she stay with Bob safe option move or move to Sydney, take the job and explore this new connection because she knows that herself. I'm going with option two.

Yeah, but it's also like, is he your soulmate or it's like forbidden free and that's why you really like him.

Yeah, But Bob telling her not to go and take this incredible opportunity that he knows she really wants is a red flag straight out the gate.

Yeah.

So I don't think Bob's your soulmate either. No, you might find maybe this guy isn't it, But hopefully I don't think Bob is he it.

Will help the transition period to Sydney to get a little sick.

It gets more complicated. Oh fuck, Bob also got a job off friend Sydney. Oh, he hasn't told Mary yet. He wants to surprise her if she accepts her offer so they can move together.

Why are you the middleman?

I would like, you're sitting a fucking mad tea. Babe, does like buck know that she's been cheated on? Like, because if my friend cheated. I always said, if I was really close with my friend's boyfriend and I knew that my friend cheated, I would force her to say I.

Would say, you tell him what I will.

Yeah, I couldn't like knowing you know that Bob is gonna surprise her, But you've also know that Mary's cheated on Bob.

Babe, I'd go like, I don't send me into a fucking like psychiatric wall.

You can't let Bob go over there without all the information. He has no idea she cheated on him, or that she's thinking about this other guy. I'm completely stuck. I know both sides of the story. I feel awful. Do I tell Bob the truth before he moves or do I stay quiet and let it play out. I don't want to betray anyone, but I also don't want to see Bob completely blindsided. Please help. I hate being in the middle.

You tell Mary to tell Bob.

I think you tell Mary about Bob's thing and say you need to tell him because this is what he's thinking of doing. So you need to decide now whether you want to be with Bob.

I don't think he should.

I don't think she wants to be with Bob at all.

No, but I don't think she should say like, Bob's got a job offer, because it's like, don't get in the middle, because then this is exactly how it will play out.

You'll be to blame for something. If something hits the wall, you'll be the blame.

I actually reckon you fuck can take a step back, you put your hands up and go Let you guys figure it out, because.

No, you need to first say you tell Bob about the cheating, or I fucking will.

No, I don't think you have anything to do. I know it's so hard, but you fucking bite your tongue, Babe. You say fucking nothing, because it's going to bite you back in a babe.

No, feelings and stuff exactly.

But a man, they're still mad, they're hurting one another, and you are going to be to blame.

I personally think that you need to say, Hey, I think you should be open with Bob about this. She's already got that in the back of her head that this guy he might not be the guy because he didn't want her to take that opportunity in Sydney. I think that you need to be honest with your partner if you've cheated, and if you can move forward, great, If you can't, don't.

Yeah, I think you say like Mary, like, I support you.

I think you should tell Bob, But I don't think you should tell Mary that Bob's got a job up.

No, well maybe not, but you need to tell Mary to tell her so then Bob doesn't go to Sydney, and Bob can make the decision on his own whether he wants to move his life to Sydney for a girl that cheated on him. Oh he doesn't.

I just think you can try your best to stay out of it as much as possible because it.

Will backfire you on you.

Yeah, try because they want someone to blame, and I'm so sorry you'll be that chick to blame and then it will just blow up even more.

Yeah, but I think the first step one is Mary needs to help Bob. She cheated on him, yeap, which I can't even imagine having a conversation like that, But that's her fault. She needs to do it. Good luck Mary and Bob. I'd actually really love to know how this turns out, so if you can please update me, that'd be great.

Yeah, please send me the update, all right?

The last dilemma. Hey, girls, big fan of the pod, You're my safe space when I'm spiraling, so I'm really hoping you can help me with something I just can't figure out on my own. I've been stuck in this on and off thing with my ex for about five months now, and honestly, it's been one of the most painful experiences I've ever had. He broke my trust this earlier this year. It wasn't full blown cheating, but it

I think you need to give it one more go and figure it out yourself, because if you walk away, you'll still wonder what if and if you stay, you'll figure that out yourself. It might be two months, it might be the rest of your life, but you haven't figured that out yet, so you need to figure that out yourself.

Yeah, and I just think you go heads first and head first and see how you go. Like, try it again with this guy, you think. Yeah, I've never been in a situation like this, so I don't know, but I will take time advice.

Get your notes up, babe, and I have a message in from church ept that you can use.

I want to get it out to you. Adding yourself in every aspect right now. Yeah, well, as in you think to just try one more time with the guy and if not, yeah, send that. Is that what you're saying.

I think, because you have hesitations, you should send this, see what he replies is and then go from there.

Okay, you say he loves you and he wants to be better, but this is.

What you so we're based. Don't read it out? Oh why not? Because I think you need to send it to her privately because then she can use it. Okay, Yeah, message me and I can message me say hey, I'm the girl from the last dilemma. Yeah, can you please send me that message. I was gonna read it for anybody else who needed to just send it to their X. But you could just message me. But then it's like they can't really use it because then the ex is like, you just got that straight from just for girls.

You don't even care, okay, And then I'd be like, okay, well you're listening just for girls, why aren't you treating me better? Take you just out of yourself that you listen to the girls and you still don't know how to treat you right.

If you need a message like that to get your ex, and maybe you're on your last leg and you want to give them one last chance and you want to start prioritizing, you message Sam, Yeah, and she'll send you this message to send them. Yeah, go to give chat JBT. Yeah. I actually my mum is a Chat JBT fanatic, like actually thinks it's her new spiritual guide. I love you, mom, I love you more than anything. But it's worrying.

You know.

It's actually really bad for the earth.

Like it's like really really bad for the earth because every single time you put something into chat GPT uses a cup of water to keep the computers that are running it to cool it down, so it's like fucking waste.

I can't even begin to imagine what our world's gonna look like in fucking fifty I don't want to. I think there will be life sized robots you can buy one day that I have AI to like communicate with you. You've got to break up message from AI. They're pretty good.

I got I didn't get one.

I sent one, as in, you got the message from chat GBT. Yeah, yeah, fuck, we're relying on that bad boy way too much these days.

Well, it just like speaks everything that I want to say, and like puts it in a very literal way.

So why wouldn't you want to date a chat GBT robot?

Well, I am right now, fucking hell on my phone literally could out my whole.

Life something for you to think about. AI fucking terror alright, guys, Puck, that was a lot of t unpack.

Yeah, message me.

I can send it to you, all right, Guys, we love you and we will speak to you next week.