Tinx

on TikTok, where she's known as TikTok's big sister. I've talked before on the show about the good, the bad, and the ugly of TikTok, and there's no better person to weigh in on these things than Tinks. Plus, Tinks and I had a very contentious truffle fry fight that we needed to settle. So let's get into it. Oh my god, Hi, Hi, what's going on? Where are you? I'm in l A. I'm at home. I just got back from working out, Ready to take on the week,

ready to talk with you. I'm so excited to meet you. Finally. I'm excited too, So what does l A feel like compared to New York? To you? Do you? What are you? Are you a New Yorker? Are you? Do you feel like you're from England? What do you feel inside? I have lived so many different places. I like l A for the lifestyle. The people can be tough. The people that seeing here can be a little bit tough. But once you find your people and you stick with them,

it's great. I like the lifestyle. I like to be hot, um Like, I like the sun, I like to be outside. I like the whole vibe of l A. But the people in New York, the energy, it's it's unmatched, you know. Um, But I feel I don't know, I don't really know if I feel like I'm from anywhere. To be honest with you, I always kind of feel a little bit out of place. But I like it that way, right,

and then you're really an observer. Yeah. But in l A when I lived, I lived there for ten years from um, I didn't even walk with the class, but right after m y u and I thought I would never leave. But I was in a different age. UM, but I did fine because I'm very insular and I don't go out a Lot, it's very hard to sort of motivate yourself because you might have to go across town where New York, even if you're not going to quote unquote the cool place, walking outside is interesting. So

what do you think about all that distance? Yeah, no, it's it's so true. Like in New York. It was really funny you say that, because I was out with some friends, um the other night, and we were we went to one party. We thought it was going to be great and it was a miss. And then we were like, well, we're all dressed up, we want to go somewhere. You know in l A. It takes a lot more planning in New York. And we all stood there on the street corner and we said, we were

in New York. We could go into any of these bars and it would be a scene, it would be a vibe, it would be fun, there would be energy. It's just different. In l A. It takes like two weeks to plan something. You're like meeting your friend and they live forty minutes away. It's literally like a calendar invite, and you got to think about traffic and all this stuff, and and yeah, you can just like to sit in your house. But I, but I also like to sit in my house, so I'm so I'm okay with that,

you know. Um, But as far as to motivate, for me, it was very hard. Meaning going to the Delhi in New York can be experiences. Walk downstairs, you've got in your elevator, you're in your pajamas, you interact with someone, felt something, you've spent twenty dollars and you've seen something, You've seen something in your dorman. Yeah. Yeah, it's like

a whole community. You go outside, like there's some woman in a fabulous coat, there's like a you know, a mom walking, there's kids, Like, there's so much and that's the energy right you you land in New York, you get off at JFK and you feel like you just shocked under Red Bull. And that's the beautiful thing about it, because there's so much to see. You're never alone, you

never feel lonely. There's always something to do, there's always stuff happening, and in that way it can feel exhausting but also very cozy and like, you know, there's always stuff, so um alone and be with you can be alone enough feel lonely, which is why it's interesting that it would seem that New York would be lonely because so much is going on, but you can kind of feel part of something l A. L A can be very lonely. I think that l A is more lonely than New York.

I was too soft for New York at this stage of my life, and and like you, you know, I kind of feel like I'll never leave l A. But as I've gotten older, I'm like, we plan in God laughs, like I don't know what the is gonna happen, Like I really don't, um so, But at the time in my life when I lived in New York, I was too soft for it and I was too tired for it. But um yeah, it's it's I was never lonely l A. Sometimes if you don't have plans on a Sunday in

l A, you're like, my loser, what's going on? I'm kind of alone, like what's happening? Um? But I'm lucky I get to spend time in both. And I'm sure everybody who doesn't live in l A, New York or like these fucking coastal people, all you guys do is debate l A and New York LA New York and that is like all I do is I think about

both of them and that they're both fabulous. And before these people you're disgusting because I was thinking that I spend most of my time in the Hampton's and now Connecticut. I did not want to be in the city anymore, and I like seeing grass and being alone and just feeling peace. I don't know if that's just an age thing, but I never I was always in New York and never really experiencing what there was to experience. Like everything I've ever done to leave the house has been for work.

So you're in the thick of it now. And UM, do you mind if I am allowed to ask how old you are? So you're thirty one, You're I mean, you're very very young. I didn't hit success until I was thirty seven, so I'm trying to relate to you. I hit success not in the way that you are, but but I did hit some success and I was living in New York City and I was a late bloomer. Um. So you you talk about all these starter packs, which

I think is interesting for those of you listening. Rich Mom starter pack, and you're quintessentially personifying these places, many of which that I've lived in from the Hamptons to Greenwich to the city and um and different parts of the city uptown downtown. So do you know all of these places or you imagine it or you're garnering magazine articles and things on TV, Like how much of them

do you intimately understand? So I think a lot. And to go back to what we were discussing it in the beginning, you know, my parents are American and then I moved when I was six months old to London, but I always felt out of place there because I was at a British school but my parents were American, so I was kind of from a young age, I was always fascinated with like what makes people feel like they belong right? Like what what makes a place of place?

And this is to get on you know, I think with the rich mom thing, you can go there's two sides of it. There's like the anthropological, like deep side of like I'm obsessed with female happiness over a certain age. I'm obsessible what makes a place of place? But it's also just fun satire. So yeah, and it's douchy and I and most of it's correct because it is. Do you have to send you something about this this this um animated little couple and she's telling him that Quogg

is not the fucking Hampton's I'm gonna send it. Yeah, and it's exactly it's effectively a twenty year old rich rich Yeah, and it's just it's fun. So I think for most of the cities that I do, I I know, I just know, you know, you know, from living there and no, no people. Sometimes I have to call in a rich mom consultant and get their emails because it's all about the details, you know, from Miami. I don't

know much about Miami. I called my girlfriend who's from there, and she told me what the cool schools are and what the you know, where where everybody goes to dinner and everything. Um So, but yeah, it's fun. I mean it is fun. But it's also like at its core, like I said, I'm really obsessed with like women and how they grow and how they maintain their happiness and how they evolve and like how um how their stories um kind of unfold. So it's a little bit of fun,

it's it's satire, it's it's a little bit of everything. Right. Well. I also, I mean, people have watched you come up. So you've been broke? Right? Have you been broke when you were living in the studio partment? Did you feel broke or you've never been broke. I wasn't gonna I don't want to lie. I wasn't gonna be on the street. I wasn't gonna be thet But I didn't have any

money in my bank account. Like I was going to have to move home, and I know that a lot of people don't have a home to go to, but I could move home to London to be with my parents, and that's like a really great fallback. But I didn't have any money in my bank account, I didn't have a job. I definitely felt like a fucking failure, especially because I felt like I had been you know, I

went to college, I went to grad school. I had tried so many different things and nothing was clicking, and I felt like I had something to give and I felt smart, and I felt like I wanted to do something but I didn't know what. So I wasn't going to be on the street. But I did feel like a big failure. Well, also, you thought you had something, but everybody, we don't know. When you you might think you have you haven't seen the end of the movie.

A lot of people think they have it and they don't, so you're still sort of in the middle of the marathon, not having any idea you know, whether to just not do it or go all way. You say move home. Does that mean with strings, meaning you would have been supported, or that just means you still would have had to have a job, but you'd have a roof over your head. I would have stowed a job. I I for me, I'm I love to work. I've I've worked since I

was sixteen. I love to work. And even when I was working in jobs that I didn't, I knew weren't weren't right for me, and that I was bad at. I still prefer to work. Like, if you gave me a billion dollars tomorrow, I would keep going exactly what I'm going now, that's just whatever. But I would have had to get a job, but I was I didn't have any money for rent, Like I was the end of the road for the rent. Yeah, I get that.

That's that's you weren't. You're not comparing yourself to homeless people by any means, but in your life, you you couldn't afford to do the things you wanted to do. You couldn't go buy something, go to dinner like no. I had that. I couldn't afford a taxi in New York City because it's very expensive. And you know that feeling when the big bill comes with a group of people that you're at to dinner with and you pray

that you don't have to split it or that. Yeah, And I felt like I felt, you know, I felt like a loser a little bit because I just felt like no cylinders were firing. I felt like, you know, I was and dating anybody. I didn't have a job, I had just moved for like the third time in my twenties, New City again. Um, And it was just like I I was kind of like, damn, like I don't know how this is going to work out. Like I hope it does, but I I don't. I can't

really see the end. Um. And I was starting to feel a little panicky, especially because I moved on to l A on my twenty nine birthday and a lot of people think that I moved to l A because I wanted to be famous. I didn't. I moved to l A because I didn't like New York that much, and I wanted to be a writer, and I thought maybe if I could try a new city, like so, I have some friends there. I really like it, but I didn't by any means moved to do this. Um. And but then I was like sitting there on my

birthday and my friends made me go to dinner. UM. They were like no, like, you know, welcome to l A. We gotta take you out. And I remember I got so drunk and I was like sobbing at this dinner because like my friends were getting married, they were getting all these crazy promotions, they had these great careers, and I was like, I feel like I fucked up because I feel like I could have just I should have I should have just stuck with something like I shouldn't.

I shouldn't have kept you know, I had that doubt that definitely crept in and I and then I did this really cheesy thing. I remember I was in the hotel and I wrote this letter to my future kids and I was like, your twenty nine, your mom is twenty nine today, Like I'm moving, I'm going on this gut feeling. I don't know what's going to happen, but I always want you guys to be brave and I always want you to trust yourself and to try to just keep trying and go. So anyway, pandemic blah blah

here we are Wow. Well no, but there's a couple of things that are jumping up the page. So I know that feeling that like I'm a loser and panic. I but I was in my mid to late thirties and I would be going out to clubs and then you know, drinking and come home and eat everything like you sure do in your apartment and felt depressed. I didn't have anybody to possibly ever move in with, not that that makes a difference, but I did, like you did not know, like how's this going to end? Where

am I working? What is it going to be? I don't have anyone take care of me. I have no safety net. Um, but I think that we have to talk to women about we I thought I had to have it wrapped up when I was twenty five years I really did. When I was like, I literally thought it all had to be wrapped up. And so I did what you did. Where I was on a couple

of good trajectories. I mean, I worked for Lauren Michael's and I worked for Kathy Hilton, and I worked Jerry Bruckheimer, but I was I kept moving around because I thought it was it was I was late. And I think young girls need to understand they're so not late, because I mean, now, I now think thirty seven was so young, Like I think I'm listening to you at thirty one. I literally think when I was thirty seven, miserable and depressed and had nothing going on, not married, not a kid,

not I still think that's young. So I think I don't know how to convey that to young women about the you the age thing because you were going through not so long. Yeah, I know when I talked about it all the time because I think it is a key cause of panic for women. I think it's a key cause of why women settle, you know. And I get so many people, so many women writing to me saying, you're not gonna believe this. They say, you've made me not afraid to turn thirty and and not be married

and you may still try things. And I'm like, what have we done that we have poisoned women's minds to think that your life end at thirties. It's not a game of musical chairs. There's no timer, you know. But that's that's what we tell women. That's what everybody's you know. It's like gott to be wrapped up. I can't believe we're still telling them about my assistance in front of me. She's twenty six years old. She thinks she needs she

should have a boyfriend by now. I'm like, what do you talk I'm like about I'm like your twenties dating, and your twenties need an entire rebrand. They need an entire green brand. I got to focus on yourself, Focus on your female friendships because they're the ones that are going to lift you up. Focus on trying different things. And by the way, finding out that you don't like a job is as important as finding out as you do like a job. And that's by the way, you

are in a serious relationship. Wanted to marry the guy. Let me explain something to you. Once you were married, once you have kids, god forbid you get divorced. You don't understand, you're locked. I can just go move to Florence for six months because I want to go, eat good food and drink olive oil. You could turn it into content. You could literally go to marrow to Florence and live for six months because you want to, like, it's nice to be free, and everybody wants to be

there instead of being here. And it's shocking because not until again into your fifties you realize what that means. You're chuckled by things exactly no, and it's like, what's the rush? Like seriously, it's like and by the way, if you if you meet the love of your life, if you have the perfect job in your twenties, that's great too. You know that's great too, And I'm not diminishing that that's a real possibility for people. But you

it's it's okay if you haven't found it yet. And you have to remove the panic from the situation because all that's doing is clouding your judgment. All that's doing is clouding your creativity. When you're sat there thinking, oh my god, I'm not married yet, Oh my god, I dada da, look at my friend she's bought a house and I'm broke, blah blah blah, all that's doing is adding pressure and when you should be thinking what do I want to do today? What am I interested in

learning about? What am I what's going on in my life? Like comparison is the thief of joy. I'd say it. I know it's annoying. I say it non fucking stopped to my followers. But I'm like you, guys, you have to stop comparing yourself to other people to where you think you should be, to where you were. Yeah, but also they're doing what But this is what's given me So in business, the numbers don't lie. This is the numbers. This is what made. This is what it didn't make.

This is what historically happened. Okay, I was twenty four and twenty five and all the people were getting married, and I went to all the weddings and literally, I'm thinking of Madison Beer's mom, Like that was one of the weddings, Lizzie Goodman, that was one of the what

there's one person of all those weddings that are still married. Now, I'm not trying to be an alarmous but if the numbers don't lie, if these people were all in their twenties rushing to do what everybody else was doing because they were comparing, and here I am with the numbers twenty five years later and these people are not married anymore, how do we that needs to be communicated back through time. Like the comparison theory goes to here. But we could

just tell them youth's wasted on the young. If you say the numbers don't lie, here's the numbers don't done. It's it's crazy. It's like you can't you can't settle because you know what, As you said, it's like it's like people are rushing, women are rushing. They're they're settling. I don't know why, because they want this wedding so badly. They want the fairy tale wedding and they want they want it tied up in a bow, they want it done.

They just I feel the ankst, I feel the need to have it tied up in a bow and done. And I'm like, what do you think happens after? What do you think You get some magic card, you get some magic happiness card and you're done. No, you wake up the next morning and the only thing that's different is you have some nice photos to post on Instagram. You still your happiness still matters. The things that you are will think about they're the same, like like it

should only be additive, it should only be additive. You can't change your life. Like and I'm just like desperately trying to tell all my younger girls who follow me, um this because like you know, it's it's heartbreaking. They write to me and they're like, oh my god, I'm freaking out. I'm twenty six and I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm like, and I know there's gonna be We'll

find it. We'll find a secret sauce to convey it in some way that they really feel it in to me, the thing that I found is actually that it's like the most helpful thing. Like I can talk about it till I'm blow in the face. But the thing is if you lead by example, like I wish I'm not

trying to toot my own horn. I wish that I had myself when I was twenty six, because I was panicked at the time, and if there had been an influencer who was like thirty one, who was successful, who had amazing friends and amazing life, bought herself a house and was kind of just like, I'll meet him when I meet him, I could have used that. Because we had sex in the city. You're younger know, I was

in the sex city era. I was of the v one of influencers who were all like, I'm twenty four and my body is perfect, and I don't there's no problems in my life and my Instagram looks perfect, and I was like, well, I'm majorly fucked. And then it's the Sex and the City thing where it's like in Sex and the City for which, by the way, I love the show, I grew up on it, but like the entire every week is like their stocks are up

or down based on the guy. That's the entire the thing of the show, and all the onus falls on women. Don't do this, don't wear this, don't do that. You're gonna otherwise you're not gonna, you know, uh nab a guy. And by the way, the other harmful uh trope in that show is that it really pits women against women. Remember that episode the thirties something women versus the twenties something women. Why does it have to be this or that?

And also nobody could afford it wasn't realistic because you're talking about a lot of these Storter packs as an aspirational satirical thing. Between nobody can afford that life in New York City on those jobs at that at that time, you can't afford those clothes. Yeah, it's so true. Um, so, so you're smart. You went to Stanford. That's quite impressive. But I think that's like a calling card. I have to say, you do does it? Do you do you love that? Do you use that? Does it work for you? Did?

Did it matter that you went to Stanford? Going back? Would you have would you have spent all that money on that education knowing what you know now? Stanford was the best money my parents paid for college. I'm very honest about that. They paid they paid for that. Um. But yeah, it really helped me spread my wings. It made me who I am today. I have no regrets. It it complete self growth, like the most amazing time of my life. Grad school. I'm going to be completely

honest with you. It was a waste of time for me. It was a waste of time and money. I have a master's in fashion journalism because again I thought I wanted to move to New York to work in fashion, moved to New York. Didn't like New York, didn't like fashion. Okay, um, but so that was a real bummer. But as soon as I got to grad school, I knew very quickly. I was like, this is not this is not a good use of my time. So I quickly got I was like, I'm gonna work throughout grad school so I

can try different things. That I was in New York, the center of the world. I was like, I gotta try different things on the side because this isn't worth it. But Stanford, I'm extremely proud of it. Like I'm extremely extremely proud of that. I worked very hard in high school, um, and I really wanted to. You know, I was pretty academic in high school. I was pretty nerdy, and then when I got as soon as I got into Stanford, I was like, I'm gonna have a break. I've been

busting my ask. I partied NonStop, was president of my sotroority. Absolutely loved it. It It was great. You sound a slightly um apologetic about not growing up with nothing, Like you want to be accountable to your following, so you're not you know that you were born on second base, not third, but like you know that you were going on a base.

I try to hold myself really accountable, and I mean, this, this is all We're entering such an interesting um like time because I always wonder, like how much context are we asking people to give? Right, I'm going to bring up an example and we don't have to go that deep into it. So, for example, the Kim Kardashian thing when she said get your fucking ass and work whatever,

and people shredded her. They shredded her on the internet for a week, and and I was reading the comments, and to me, it seemed like, you know, the thing that they were angry about is that she she grew up with money and and she didn't give that context, and and it really kind of opened this thing to me, like in my head of you know, how much context are we expected to give? Because I've been misquoted before.

I'm sure you have too, and so I'm always warried, like but at the same time, I hate qualifying everything that I say, you know what I mean. It's like it's gonna make language very difficult if we're constantly qualifying. So I try to strike a balance. But listen, my parents paying for college is quite important for context, because you know, it meant that I entered the world of adulthood debt free, and that's not a real real that's not a reality for a huge majority of Americans. So

I do want to be honest about that. Yeah, I don't think everything's do need context if you're going to make a dramatic statement like that. I don't think everything needs context. You're allowed to have a do your bag, but also have worked hard and been successful like you're. I mean, many people don't think you are. And there are many things you can't comment on as a white woman, and you know, and there are many things that men can't comment down as a white man now because it's

not in to be a man. But there's a million things to navigate, as you know. Um, I think people just feel like we'll give it to her because she's worked her ass on, as I like to say, fully, but you can't go too far and start saying that. Listen, not until there was some girl on the red carpet, oh, because always sell Dono was just like, oh, now, I guess we go to award shows where people slap each other. Then everyone was like, oh, hi, I think you were dating the son of Will Smith or who are you?

Like if you open your big mouth, something's coming, so you know. So that's what I have a big mouth, trust and I don't call shit, so you know, and you know where the line is and you cross it sometimes and you take a little heat, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Everybody's a filter down, water down, edited, bullshit version of themselves and not so. Um, and I'm people know this, I'm sure, Um, what does tinks mean? So? Tinks is a nickname I've had for over twenty years.

I was it's from a movie. There was a character in a movie called Tinker Parker and she was really confident, and when I was younger, I wasn't that confident. And Um, in the movie, she's like she knows how to flirt with boys and she's just really loud. And so I told my friends, like, this is my alter ego now, and it just kind of stuck. And so, so your friends all call you Tinks. That's like, you're okay? Does anyone call you by your real name? My mom, my lawyer? Really? Yeah,

that's funny. Um, it's not elite? Is it your legal name now? Now? No? No? Okay? So where is the line in sharing? So, because there was a girl yesterday on TikTok and she said, I'm in the bathroom and it's such tempting. I've been on Housewives. I know what it's like for it to be tempting, you know, it's content. Everything is content. So she's in the bathroom and she's like, I'm about to hook up with this guy and this isn't OK. This stuff? Yeah, oh, I didn't even know that.

I just thought this was a person doing this. I didn't know that that was like a thing. But then,

and isn't the guy gonna know? And then, I mean, isn't someone going to say to the guy while he's in that other room because he's got his phone, there's a girl in your bathroom right now with your head and shoulders danger ship like, so you know, and where is the line between like you're sharing it with them but not being present with your own life and especially for someone like you, your whole life is content and this has been the source of an income. Now, so

how do you stop the faucet? And what about if you get involved with someone else who, yes, will buy into the fact that this is who you are when you meet them, just like when I met Paul. But there is a line. I mean, they don't know exactly how far they're going into this thing. And it's really fucking annoying and invasive. It is it is, and it's it's trial and error and I'm and I'm still figuring out. Like,

for example, I don't talk about dating anymore. I did when I when my own personal dating life and this is who he is? Yeah, like and I and it was, by the way, the best content. And that was a really difficult let's listen, Dick on the table. That was a tough business decision because that that was far and away. I don't know what that is, but I can't wait to hear what's on the table? Oh, I mean, like, honestly, if I'm going to be honest, I was you did

called on the table? I like, it's like my favorite phrase. Um like, no, to be honest, like it was, it was far and away the best content. And people loved it because you know I would. When I first started out, I was like, I didn't know that where this was going. I didn't know how big it was. Yeah, and I was nobody, so I was like I made up nicknames.

I'd be like, oh, well this guy like the new guy, and you know, and people, it's amazing content because you're following someone's you know, up and down of dating in l A. It's very fascinating. But last year I just got to a point where I was like, I, first of all, it makes dating two complicated for me because I don't know what people's intentions are and I don't want someone to ever want to date me because they want to be in the in the in the content.

And it also just confused me because sometimes I'd be telling my followers about something and it was like it just added another dimension, and watching the movie as a director, it's exactly exactly and and I just got to a point where I was like, so for those reasons, and also I just felt like I give so much to my followers and I'm happy to I love them more

than anything I really do. But I just needed one thing for me, Like I just needed the personal life to stay personal and quiet, and it just made it easier for me. So I don't, I don't, but I'm happy I passed on the lessons. I'll be like, oh, you know, I was dating a guy a couple of months ago, and this happened or whatever, but not like in the same it just was too much um And and yeah it's tough. I mean, I I'm not tired

of sharing yet, I'm not. I'm really love it and it's very now actual to me and I never feel like I have to um, But yeah, I don't know. I think I'll see how it goes. I don't. I don't have a master plan for this, but so I don't. I'm not that aware of a lot of things, like I always have to other people have to tell me what things are. So I remember when I was going on on social media and I think it was TikTok and I saw the starterpac thing and I thought that

was funny. I sent it to my fiance Paul. I think it was the one about the West It was one about the West West Village. But I didn't and I think I had seen your name, but like there's a lot of people that like collect channel buttons and those famous people in muffin Eaters in Africa, to like a lot of stuff, so I didn't know, like there's this person Tinks. I didn't know if you were just coming through because I had liked one or followed it and it was coming again, but I didn't know you

were like a thing. So um. And I remember someone said you should do a collaboration with Tinks and I was like what and they were like, oh, she did something with Gwyneth Paltrow and I'm like, oh, but it was sort of just like these kids think this as cool as days, and it was I didn't know what they were talking about. So then, um, I guess also, because you're in my world, you know, your name starts coming up and now like I'm aware of it. And this was a couple of months ago when we got

in touch with each other. But I wonder, like, what level of fame are you? Meaning? There have to be there have to be guys on on dating apps that have no idea who you are, because that's very your, very niche and very woman and uh not. You haven't reached into the male sphere on a full scale yet. But I don't know that. Maybe I'm wrong because I don't know anything, and you've gotten a lot of international press.

So what level of fame are you? You walking out and you're seeing girls at the yogurt store, but you at an airport and everyone's coming up like where are you in the fame spectrum? That's such an interesting question.

I don't know. I think, Um, I think it's so weird because it's like it's it's felt like a slow progression to me, but everyone keeps saying so fast but I have moments where I'm like, wow, this is really crazy, Like you know, if someone will try to find out where I am, where they'll be waiting for me outside and like not everyone is coming up to me in an airport, I said, like two or three people and her airport visit. Meaning that you can date and have

someone not know who you are. You're still in that totally. But I but I also live in l A. So

that's like that's the Turkey thing. And yeah, but then but then it's linked to your social media and then they see and and it's like in l A. I kind of I feel like it kind of splits into two groups of guys, either guys who are like you, she has an online presence I don't want anything to do with her, or the guys who were like, oh my god, she has an she has a blue checkmark like I want to you know, it's and and it's tricky because I always tell my followers go on dating apps,

like you know, this is important, this is important to you know, if you want to date. It's a numbers game, like get yourself out there. But um, I'm definitely you yeah, yeah, because that's sort of an unfair. Sometimes it's unfair when someone's fully aware of everything about you. When I was dating on dating apps, I would I would I would try it, and then I would run away. I would literally go on and like I feel I felt naked,

like I'm naked and everyone else clothes on. Yeah, I'd go in and and I think that people have no idea who I am. These are all like business guys. And then a guy would say, well, I mean, you know, I have a nice job, and I'm not you know, New York. I'm not a New York gos. I'm like, oh, I'm at Aristotle Onesis. I'm like, yeah, well, first of all,

you're instacure, Like I didn't like that. It's it's just or it's those like it's those bits, you know, And because I talk about dating so much, it's like, you know, it's and that that stuff can like really cringe you out. You know, you're on a dating app and you you imagine the guy you think he's cute, and then he'll he'll say to me like, oh, like, am I doing box theory or like one of my dating theories And I'm just like like I'm just like, you know, it's

it's really tough. And I get it because like there is so much information or there's so much content with me in it out there, so I understand it would be hard to have to come in with no judgment. Like I get that as if I was putting myself in their shoes. But for me, I'm just like, um, you know, I don't know. It just creates a weird dynamic. There are so many men that have no idea about

any of this stuff I have. And so just so you know, like one peacock is good for you, I think you could be like, do you need to find some like attractive dork that's successful, that's cool, that doesn't that thinks this is all very cute and appreciate your business savvy and success. But there's not like no exact articles or this stuff that's not that's not that that will not work. Um So, now, how much do you now care about likes and followers and going viral? Because

and did you care in the beginning? Have you cared at all? Has it been like, oh my god, like what has this whole thing been? Like? No? And I think it's honestly, it's a combination of um age and just experience. But I right away when I started, I thought, I this is what I was supposed to do. I'm an entertainer. I don't know how it's going to go, but I know this is what I want to do. And from from very early on, I realized the content that did the best was when I was truly making

what I wanted to see. I was just making the videos that I want to see. With my podcast, I make the podcast I want to listen to. With my radio show, I make the radio show I want to listen to. With the sweatshirts I make, I make the sweatshst that I want to wear. If you start chasing what you think other people want, I think that's the death. Now. Now you have to think about your audience and how to serve them, and I do in a way. I think like how can I add value to their lives?

But specifically with what I'm my content, I'm like, I'm gonna make what I wanted to see, and then it feels authentic. That's the That's the key to authenticity is when you're not thinking like, well, maybe if I make a video about this, it will appeal to the finding white Space Carol Reds Will once told me on the house was I need to find white space. I'm like, what is white space? She's like, where there's a void and something? I go, what see? I don't. I don't

agree with that. I I don't. You know. Everyone's like, find your you know, find your niche to do this thing, and I'm like, you're everyone is over complicating it. But what's attractive and um charismatic is when people when you can tell that people really love doing something, like they actually love doing something, whatever it is, and people are like,

what's your tip for TikTok? I'm like, if you really love making oat There's a guy on TikTok who has like forty million followers and and he has literally I think it's a lot, and he's like oatmeal guy, and he just makes new oatmeal every day. So why do people love to watch it? Because you can tell he genuinely fucking loves oatmeal, just like rice. But but that's the thing, It's like, make what you want, you know, that's how you stay true to yourself. I I don't overcomplicated.

I don't try to think like where's the white space that you know? Whatever? I just think, what do I want? To see, Like, what do I you know, that's my north star? Where's so if you're doing what you love, it's not really work. Okay, we know that, but like and so what's the structure of what you're doing do you say, like it's tomorrow's two, I have to post six things or are you just winging it all day? Like? And then you have other things now, I guess you

have deals and collaborations and partnership. So that's a separate story. Um, where's the structure in this whole business? Like what goes on? I post every day because I want to, not because I feel like I have to, because it's just like it's pouring out of me, like I just it's natural, Like I feel I'm a natural storyteller and I love to post and that's easy and great. And then yeah, I have my business now, I have um my march line, I have my radio show, I have all this other

stuff and I have a great team around me. And you have to hire for your weaknesses. I'm not an organized person. I'm not an organized person. I'm a I'm an ideas person. But I like everybody to say, this is what you're doing today, this is what you need to get done. This is this and there, You've got to be here at this time. And I'm like, okay, great, just put me in. Okay, So how many people is that? And where are there? And then and then you in

an office. You're doing this at your house? No, I do. To my house. I have I have my management team of two, I have my assistant, I have my agents, um, and then I know that, yeah, and then I have my you know, my publicist and and and it's a it's a team effort, it really is. And I'm very, very very I've been very lucky with the people that have come into my life life and that um that

make up my team now because they get it. It's like yeah, yeah, it's like, you know, you have to get people who who see the vision and who see you, who don't want to change you. They really see your path and they understand you and they want to go on the journey with you and all that sounds very cheesy, but it's true. No, it doesn't sound like cheesy at all. But but you're, um, you don't have like a like a a production team at your health you shitty little

lights and everybody else in the country. I make all my I make all my content and posting all myself. No one has access to my social media because so many of my younger girls who follow me like they are not even younger. Everybody writes to me very incredibly personal dilemmas, and I still try to set aside. When I've started, I did an hour of d M S a day for advice. But now that I have the show, the radio show and the pot, I don't have as much time. I still try to do half an hour day.

So it's all very personal. I post everything myself, but they write to me about their deep store your secrets. I can, and I would never. My content is like my purest self. It's like my purest form. I'm I'm actually happiest when everybody leaves and I'm digging around in my house and I'm making funny videos on my phone alone, like that's or writing stuff alone, you know, writing little jokes,

writing skits like that stuff is when I'm happiest. So so interesting because I do find that it can keep you company, like and I mean there's a line with that too, like looking at your phone, is that it can be an abyss and can be like yucky, like meaning you can feel like like you're addict. You're like in your phone, you haven't done anything, you haven't breathed there, you're like but fiddling around with your oatmeal or being in the kitchen like making basil oil and then posting it.

That feels like being an artist a little bit. It feels like being a little creative. But that could keep you company, make you not want to interact. So where's that line, because that is a line. I'm an, I'm an introvert, my house, cannot leave my house. It's yeah, I I totally get that. I get really and I get in on, you know, in kind of a rut. Yeah,

like I'll get I'll get in a rut. I'll be like, you know, I don't I don't leave my house for a couple of days, really get in there with the phone and feel really connected to the content and the Internet. And then for me, though, I I I'm an introvert, but I'm also a party animal. Like I've always loved a party and I'm very open about that. So I'll always I'll always go through waves of that and sometimes it's a couple of months, Like you know, I'll tell

my followers like I'm going into hibernation. I did that in over like December and January. For six weeks, I just watched TV and I was just with my followers, you know, like, um, and when I say followers, I mean you know my community that it's fun of this language is new language of community and platforms. Well, I was on a podcast the other day and someone thought that I meant followers, like I thought I was Jesus or something, and I was like, no, that's social media,

Like that's what that's what you call them? Like, um, so I just want to clarify. But for for they were like, this girl is so vain, she thinks she's Jesus. I was like, no, that's they mean they followed my content anyway, Clara exactly. Um. You know, for six weeks, I was just like all I would was doing was reviewing TV and and my followers actually love when I'm home because they love that content. Because I love to

react to things. I love to be like look at watching this, watching that, This is what I think about. This is my hot take on that. Um. But then I'll go out and I'll have, you know, a couple of weeks of party. And I love to I love to let off steam. I love to go out, love to so it goes it's different. But you know, I think that's really interesting and I've never heard someone say it like that before. But you're completely right. You articulated

it so well. It can keep you company. And by the way, when the pandemic hit and I first downloaded TikTok, that's exactly what it was for me because I was I had no one, like, none of my friends would see me. Everyone's scared of COVID, like what we all thought we were gonna die like I was, so I was so out of my mind that I was like, I need, I need something, and that that's what it came.

And I think that's why I have such an emotional relationship to my content and my followers, because I was like forged in the darkness and like that we went through that together. It's interesting. I didn't know it then. I didn't. I knew it a couple of years ago. I told my someone that I worked with about that. I thought TikTok was interesting. This is like before the damilia like people, and they were like, it's really for

eight to thirteen year old it's not for you. But I was intrigued by it, but I didn't even have a computer or an iPad or anything, so I didn't understand it. And it's funny that you say that because of the whole pandemic and I went through something excruciating with my my, my, my daughter and custody and stuff, but the whole pandemic, it was myself, my daughter, my

two dogs. Literally hold up. And I'm glad I didn't understand it because it would have it would have been that would have been something I would have been feeding into and that I was just feeding into my daughter and dogs. But you didn't have that, And that's just an interesting I will never take that time back. But given how strong it is in my mind, I can imagine how strong it is in your and your followers,

your apostles mine. So yeah, um, what are so people are big on TikTok are always sort of posting the shitty comment that someone says, are really getting aggravated and want to get into that with everybody, So, um, are there a lot of trolls? And um? Because I haven't really experienced that, like one or two bad comments, but I hear you and a lot of people talk about these trolls. How bad is that? And what are your biggest compliments and what are your biggest criticisms. Yeah, it

comes in waves. It will come in waves. And I don't know if it literally comes in waves or it's or if it's just like you are paying attention to it in waves because listen, when you when you read the comments, it's ego, right, that's and I've had a lot of therapy about this because it is, it is. It is very psychologically damaging. I think, I think, let me back up and say, I think it's psychologically damaging to read that much about yourself on a daily basis

good or bad. Right, Like, I don't I don't really know what it's doing to my brain to hear, to to read a hundred and fifty comments tinks you're so pretty, you're the best of yourself, and then one being like you're such a bit I I hate you, blah blah blah, all this stuff like and they could be all kissing yours and that one person could be right, like you think, it's just it's a weird thing. So so it comes on waves. Listen, there's some really really mean comments. Um,

there's some really mean trolls. For me, it's not for me. It's not about Um, I don't get triggered by the you're fat, you're ugly thing anymore. Like I'm like, okay, Like that's just so lame, Like I don't that doesn't face me anymore. To me, it's like when people. I can sometimes get triggered when people purposefully it seems like misunderstand me or or kind of you know, I don't know, they take a joke wrong or something like that, like that can really get under my skin. Um, but it's

I don't know. It's so interesting because we always say, now, oh, it comes with the territory, right, And sometimes I think, why have we just accepted that? Like why have we just accepted that? Because I put myself out there and I'm public now I should be um open to just

like this level of criticism. Like can you imagine if if all of a sudden, we were like, well, now for everyone who's an accountant, you're going to have ten people who stand them behind them while they do their accounting, just being like you're a fat, you're ugly, you're stupid,

you're this, you're that. Like why do we just say oh, it comes with the territory like it's because it's been public extreme rise in a short period of time and people are miserable and jealous, and how great for them for one second to say something nasty that makes them feel powerful and then for you to take the bait. It worked. I mean, it happens with little kids all the time. Why do the little boys hit little girls

that they like? Like people just want to get a rise they need they like, you know, people are are vile and people are mirrors they see you know, why you why not them? I mean, you know, it's it's interesting.

I just think, yeah, it is interesting. I mean sometime sometimes it's not even like sometimes it's it's the nonsensical comments that get to me the most because I think it it triggers something in me where it's almost like it's not even about me, but I'm like I want to reach out to that person and say, your life must be so bad if you have if this is where you took it, Like someone made a video about me.

I'll give you an example, like two days ago and they were like, um, the way that Tinks was touching her eyeglasses, like is so wrong? And then everyone's commenting yeah, like I don't think she actually has a prescription like she has. And I was like, and it's to me. I can't explain to you the feeling that it triggered at me because I was like, um, the fact that you made a video thinking I was lying about having

to wear glasses like which I'm not. I'm not sensitive about it at all, but I've worn eyeglasses for ten years and I wear contact lenses every day. And I was just like, so, why like why did you spend time of your day doing this? Like right, But you're also like why do I care? I've had I love You're You're like, why do you care that this idiot said this? She says you're a purple class? What does that mean? What does it mean? Last night you're losing

your hair? Okay, this is my hair. You're losing your hair that comes with age. It's I know it does, thank you for pouring that out. But then you're just like you know or something. I had like oil on my face because at night I put oil. If it's I didn't disclaimer, I didn't send out a newsletter, but I had like a bomb on my face. Why is your face to always so greasy. I don't even have oil skin. Like now I'm like worried about the fact

that I, like I have greasy skin, dry skin. I guess it's like it's just like it's so you know, and it's just so silly, and I you know, when I started out, I really had a hard time with it. In the beginning, I was like because it's it was shocking, and it came on so fast, and I had never experienced anything like it. And I really worked hard in therapy. And now I'm in a pretty good place where I'm like pretty, I'm pretty just I don't really care anymore.

I'm like, I don't really read the comments, like if you don't, if you don't like me, like that's cool, just scroll and And the thing that I always come back to that that really helps me to mantra is like no one more happy or more successful than me would ever talk down to me, like you know what I mean, Like, no one, no one, no one who's killing it is ever going to be like your this or that things, You're not funny like the only people it's It's really helped me. It's really that's a great note.

It's a great note. Wow, um, what is the big picture? This is an interesting career and do you are you do you worry about the big picture? Do you have a big grand plan or do you are you putting one foot in front of the other and and just enjoying the moment and seeing what happens. It's a mix. There's a lot I want to accomplish, There's a lot, a lot, a lot um but I'm you know, I'm also taking it one one day at a time and I'm trying to enjoy the process and I'm trying to enjoy.

Like I can be a very goal oriented person and like I set the goal or the thing that I want to do, and then I'm a very tunnel vision. But that is quite exhausting for me, and it also makes it you know, that's not what life is. Life is actually in between, right, It's actually the days where you're just like, you know, one percent better, You're just working on something. It's like, that's life. It's not actually the day you want to the podcast, It's that it's

all the days leading up to it. So um, I think the big picture is I love what I do. I can't wait to grow up with my followers. I can't wait to you know, speak to them on new platforms in new ways. And I want to do them all. I mean I always joke like aside from a singing career, I want it all, um. And but I'm also just trying to be present and be grounded and be like

whoa this is? I'm really in a happy It's so funny, Like for women, it's so hard for us to say this stuff because I never want to feel you know, but I feel very grateful right now and I feel very happy with my life. And um, I'm just trying to enjoy it and work really hard and work on the next, the next thing. Do you want to be on TV? Do you want to talk show? Do you want that other medium? Or I want new mediums? Yeah, I want I want new mediums. I want to do movies,

I want to do TV. I want to do it all. Um. You know, I think at the core of everything I do with storytelling, and I'm especially obsessed with connecting with other women through um, you know, the joint experience of what it is to be a woman. So I think, like you know, exploring those stories in different mediums and and talking to my followers in new ways. Um, is what I'm really focused on. Is there real money and what you're doing, Like is this has it become real?

Like do you feel like, wow, I can kind of do what I want? Or are you still super frugal and have poor mentality? Like where are you in that whole noise about money? I just feel so um. I just feel so proud like that I can that I can live my life now and I do treat myself sometimes, yeah,

I do. I but like I said this morning on my show, I said, like, because I'm taking home, I'm taking ten friends to Coachella and I got I got the house, I got the artist passed for us, and like, to me, the number one greatest thing that has come out of all this is like my followers and my relationship with them and like what I how I can connect with women. The second best thing I'm going to be honest is like being able to treat my friends is to me like sex. It's like the best feeling

in the world. It's so fun, Like it makes it so fun and they're all so fun and it's just like, you know, they were there for me in different times of my life when I was just like, you know, crying and being like a loser and like not knowing what was going on, and to be able to do things for the people that you love is the best feeling in the world. And it's very cool. And it's just like, like, to me, that's cooler than buying a

bag of course, you know, yeah, it's amazing. I love that. Well, um, that little microphone thing, whether you invented it or not, is that a bit or that's a real thing? Does that function? Is there functions? Functions you don't need? You don't need it. I just like, I'll be honest, there was not any great strategy when I ordered it. I was like in quarantine and I was like, you know, I was like drinking wine one night and I was thinking like, oh my god, well I'm like a mini reporter,

Like how fun That's what I thought that. Yeah, I was like, I just think it's so funny to like hold it. And I also I kind of have like a little bit of a lisp and someone commented like, oh, you should do a SMR and I was like, maybe got one of those mini microphones. And then I just started holding it and became my thing. So I wish that there was some great strategy. But it was I just didn't know. I was so dumb in the beginning. I thought people needed it to do whatever tech they would.

It's a bit yeah, okay, I didn't know if it was a bit. Okay, we have a big problem here. It's very important. One. You like chopped salads. Ili And I was the hostess at Lascala just so you know, okay, and I got a free twenty one dollar salad every day because I loaded everything on it. Because you know if you've been there that you add on and the turkey, and they had on for everything. It only comes to salami, provolone and chickpeas and that dressing and iceberg, which is

so cheap. So and I used to get it with romaine, which is much more. But I never understood chopping salad because it becomes water. You're like, it's like a smoothie of salad. That's one I want to get into with you. No, there's I know you think it's truffle. It's not just truffle salad in a cup. Like I'm also offended you put salads and cups so you like eating salad out

of us. I'm secondary like, very offended by that and three saying just as a blanket statement, just a blanket statement that you don't like truffle, Like, these are bones to pick. I have a couple of questions after that, but they're not as important. So those are bones bones to pick, Like soggy salad truffle. I just like a

big trough of salad that's small and I eat. I like to eat it with a spoon so I can shovel it in and it's all like mixed up, because I need every bite to have every single piece of flavor. And from my thinking, like if the salad is chopped and the bits are smaller than the surface area that's covered by the dressing is greater, that's fair. But the and the mix of water, but that that makes some sense. It's you're lathering you like a spato. I love a caspao. Yeah,

I love it. I love yeah. But I love salads so much, like in a really non ironic way, I just like it's I fucking love salad. And then the trouffle thing. Listen, I don't like a trouffle fry, but I do like a truffle pasta, a truffle risotto. Sure, fresh,

but it has to be. You know, hate to sound douchy, but like to me, when I think of truffle fries, I think of like those like awful brunches that I would go to in New York City, like on a Saturday morning, and it's like a big cavern and it smells like feet, and then it's like not real truffle fry. It's like, damn, it's truffle perfuct. And then I'm like,

like thinking about that. But if you're getting out the fucking thing, if you're walking over my table, pulling out the rock, telling me you bought it from Italy, shaving it on my pasta, absolutely I'm because I didn't want to call you out. Imagine I see you in a restaurant and you're eating truffle, and then I'll be able to know truffle trolls. Fact like a truffle troll apostle. Um. So all right, well, I understand the spoon in the salad.

Whenever I'm not gonna ad, It's like I wanted you just drink get a curing and put some fucking salad in it and drink salad coffee. It's disgusting. I can't even think about it. Gross, um, so what has been

your rose and your thorn um of all this? Truly, truly, the connections that I have with with people, like the girls who come up to me and say, you know, like like a girl that I haven't um, I haven't seen her since college and she texts men and we weren't close in college, but she texts me to get hey,

I you know, I still had your numbers somehow. I just want you to know I was engaged and I you know, I knew it wasn't right in my heart, and through following you, I kind of got the courage to leave him because you always say you're not too old and it's not too late, and you know, you

really taught me a lot about self worth. Or like I was at a wedding, this girl came up to me, she said, you know, I have had a really tough time in life, and I finally got up the courage to go to therapy because you said therapy was cool. Like I fucking live for that ship. Everything like that. The individual connections I have every time that I that I, you know, help someone out, like with a even a mental trick whatever, Like it's that's the roads the thorn is, um,

I I don't know. I'm a very I'm a very optimistic person. I'm a very like, yeah, I don't know, I don't have a thorn. I don't have a thorn. I'm very grateful. I I I've just grown immensely as a person over the last two years. I feel very lucky, Like, um, yeah, I don't I don't have a thorn. I love it. And then I guess just the last question is the percentage because lucky and smart? What percentage are you lucky? And what percentage is smart? That is a really really

tough one. Um yeah, I kind of believe like you make your own luck a little bit like I kind of believe people, especially with careers in the public eye. Jenakkin talks a lot about this too. People are always like, oh, you know, she's just like right place, right time, you

know whatever. But it's like a lot of who's j And I've heard the name, but I don't know she's she's a massive celebrity hairstylist and she has her own line and she's Yeah, she's wrote wrote an amazing book really about working and a work ethic, and I really admire her. But She always says, like, you know, people just think, oh, you know, they're just prettier, they were in the right space, space at the right time, or you know whatever. But um, yeah, that's a tough one.

I think of a good mix. I think I've been very lucky in my life. But I but I know, you got to know when to make hay while the sun shines, you got the show up exactly. You've got to be ready and waiting. And like, I think that that's part of it. Is what I've been able to do over the past two years is because it's like I knew the feeling when right away I was like it hit and I was like this is it, and you go, you know, it's like the way the set is coming, you have to ride all those ways to

the IPCT. Yeah, because I've been I've been floating out there. I've been floating and I'm like, where what's going on? And in those moments, I try to tell tell people like, you know, if if there's nothing right in front of you, it's okay, don't struggle, don't just sit in the water and flail and be like whatever. But when you see that wave coming, you get on your fucking board, you put your eyes forward and you go that you're ready, and then when you're you know then and the tables

are high, you press your bets you're at those. Yeah, well we're similar and we've had interestingly similar trajectors. As I talked to you, I didn't know much about you, but I remember being on Housewives and talking about to this guy about moving in and on camera because he didn't want to be on the show, but the audience doesn't know that. He was like, we'll talk about this later, and I'm like, but aren't we gonna move in? Like a k the producers want me to talk about this

even and he's like, we'll talk about it later. I kept digging myself in deeper and back to high school, and it wasn't cool to be the one who got broken up with the way that I came up, Like you're sitting here getting sort of broken up with Ish and the the viewers where you are Harry Bradshaw and I became flawed and I became real and it feels like that's what you are. So you're flawed and people are feeling good about that. Trying to be perfect, which is what most people are trying to be and so

I applaud that. And also you publicly mentioned be Strong relief effort. So the ice cream that we did, we're going to give the proceeds to UM to be strong. And I just what you do is so amazing thing and it's it's genuinely inspiring. It's and what I like about it. You know, when everything when the tragedy started happening, it's like, you know, it's another conversation, but I looked, you know, they say look for the helpers. You're a helper.

You are doing You're saying exactly where the money is going, exactly the impact it's having your and you are a operations you are you know how to execute, you know how to get shipped done, and that's the best thing that that we need right now. So I want to thank you for everything UM that that you've done. It's really amazing work and I'm really really happy to support it. Well. I appreciate that, and that's you. You have a Sunday at Craig's called the Tank Sunday, your own ice cream

because it's in its vegan UM. But I appreciate that because one of the things I will say celebrities post links of something that somebody else says that they're doing and I see it and there's always a middle person. So people like you who have influencers are saying, go donate here, but it's not you that doing it. So you're telling them to go donate, and often the people don't know where that money is going if that makes it So I'm like, no, I'm in charge of the money.

Like it's being run like a business, and most people aren't good business people, so why would most or be good? So I know there's like you know, there's links flying and there's just so much noise, and I'm like, I'm like, I want to give my money to someone who knows what then they're doing and how to make an impact.

End of story. It's it's actually we are streamlined, we are economical, we're organized, and I just appreciate that because I see a lot of them like, oh my god, why do they give the goes to not the effort. I get fascinated. You know, you're amazing. You're amazing seated my expectations, which means guy, So I can't wait to meet you in person. I'm in l A in June. I have an event, maybe I'll come. It's I love that. I admire you so much. Thank you, this is a

great this is a great talk. Than Thank you so much. Have a great day. So I didn't know what to expect from the Tinks interview. I mean, she's interesting, she's successful, she seems fun and sassy and smart. I didn't know a lot about her. I just know that I'm aware of her, and she reminds me of me, a younger me. I mean, that's crazy. I've never said that about another guest. I've never said about another guest that they remind me

of me when I was much younger. But uh, Tinks was really honest, confident, sure of herself in a good way, comfortable in her own shoes, vulnerable, flawed, wise, connected, connected. She really keeps going back to being connected to her followers, to um this audience that really helped to make her who she is. It's really amazing. I applaud her success, congratulate her, and she's just shows that anything's really possible, you can make anything happen. So I really enjoyed that

a lot. Thank you for listening, Rate, review and subscribe. But we are killing it and I'm so excited and I owe it all to you, yah h.