This One’s for the Moms

great way for us to engage. UM. I'm determined to keep chipping away at them on special occasions, and Mother's Day is maybe the most special occasion out of the entire year. It's always on my daughter's birthday weekend, and in honor of Mother's Day this Sunday, I'm going back and answering the questions you asked on parenting. So let's get into it from Christina Brown. Do you think parents should be super hands on all the time or do you think there are things you should let your kids

learn on their own? Um? They they just are. So it sounds like you might have younger kids. Um, and we worry about all the things that don't even happen, and they just get independent. I mean, my daughter doesn't love lunch at school. So when I bought slice salami and withzarella and parm gan crisps and olives and put it out the first day with Homas, she was so excited. And I did it a couple of days, and all of a sudden, now I come home and I got it.

Mom and she's making yoki with pesto, and she's making one day but like a Bognes and she makes roasted Brussels sprouts to sesame oil, and she's like kind of irritated if I want to do my own little parenting things. So they become really independent. You're you're you want them to bathe, and you just thank god, this kid is disgusting and they're never gonna want to bathe their whole life. And then all of a sudden, one day I have

to go in the other room. I'm gonna take a shower or it used to be only baths, and then my daughter I need to take a shower, and I just gotta go. I gotta go, like you know, do my skincare routine. I'm like your eleven. So they get so independent that there. It doesn't even matter if you intervene. I used to beg. I used to you know, I used to ask them to wear certain clothes. They didn't want to wear certain clothes. Then years later they want to wear those same clothes you tried to get them

to wear. Then you have to pack them for every trip, and it's just annoying that you have to pack them. But then you get to the point where they want to pack themselves and you're like, God, it's gonna be a freaking disaster. You need panties, you need to and they just pack themselves and it somehow works out. So at least I introduced the packing cubes for my daughter to try to like separated things. But they become independent,

so it's going to work out no matter what. They will learn on their own, okay, e h G. Twelve sixteen. What is the story behind how I finally decided to let Brin be seen on my social media? You know, kids get into the age where they're interested in social media, and my daughters around me posting myself and sometimes she'll just put her face and go hey. To be perfectly honest, my daughter doesn't care about being on social media at all,

she's not thirsty. She doesn't care about fame. Other kids that I know are constantly asking me about what I do and I'm on TV and what's it like and my followers, and she's not into it at all. Once in a while we'll do a humorous TikTok that we just find so funny, and I frankly find it funnier. But um, I need a partner in crime. And I think it's I just saw something ridiculous that I would love to do with her, same with Paul, but they

couldn't possibly care less. And um, when it's her birthday, I feel like, you know, I'm hiding someone that's in the witness protection program if I don't post a picture of my child looking cute and I want to share it with you, and and and she does like when people will send messages, I'll then say to her, but honestly, she doesn't. She doesn't care. So the story is that I felt and was under lock and key for so long. Um,

Yet I still don't like to really overexposed her. I like there to be a nice balance of reality and the fact that she's aware of social media and not feeling like I have her locked in the closet like a prisoner, and she cannot be on social media, although she probably wouldn't care at all anyway, She really just doesn't care. Um from kel Kell, twelve oh three. How involved is your daughter with your philanthropy? My daughter sixteen, and I've always tried to encourage her to help others.

Do you have your daughter participate in other charitable events on her own or something her age group can do. Love what you do to help others in need, you do amazing things, very inspiring. Well, it's weird. I was going to North Carolina to visit people at a shelter and donate aid, and Brin came with me to load the boxes on the plane and was supposed to come. I don't remember if she has miss in school. I think she was, and she got sick and she didn't

get to come. She just didn't feel well. And then there have been other times when I thought I was going to bring her. I was going to bring her to North Carolina, New Orleans, but the flights got canceled um because of a storm, and so it hasn't been meant to be. She painted twenty five original paintings and raised twelve five hundred dollars for Ukraine, um, but actually more now because Paul's mom gave more than she was

supposed to, so probably fourteen to fifteen thousand dollars. But she realized after we went to Michael's and got the supplies and she got the canvases and she got into it that she had to make twenty five I mean it was volume making one is one thing. So she did realize what that meant and what she committed to, because we had also thought we'd make all these bracelets, and we bought all the right colors, and it's time consuming.

So she realized that she hasn't been hands on enough yet, you know, lemonade stands and selling hot chocolate, cute and stuff, But she hasn't really been hands on enough yet. And I'm waiting for the right opportunity because often when I can bring her, it's too gnarly for a kid to be there, And then when it's in a place where I could bring her, it's two together, meaning I'm just going and giving out be strong cards to people, which is nice, but it's not It's a fine line between

her seeing real desperation and seeing too much. I brought her to the Bronx to visit where the building was for the fires, and she got to see, like, those are the windows that you know there was a massive fire and if you remember in the Bronx, it was terrible in the whole building burned down, and so she got to see people that jumped out the window into a dump ster. And she understands, but there's nothing like hands on and um, you've got to get their hands

a little dirty. You're gonna have to just take them to see something really unfortunate or sick children. Because just putting together clothes it makes us feel better, it's not actually necessarily helping. So I'm just going for one day. It's kind of so we checked the box and feel like we're doing the privilege parenting version. But you've got to find a way for them to really get their hands dirty. Liz Beckett asks, was I afraid to become a mom? Did I have any fears that I wouldn't

be good at it? Honestly, I didn't. And it's very strange because, um, I second guess so many things in my life. I don't second guess business, I don't second guess parenting. I mean, there'll be a time when things aren't going that great and I'm upset or I'm sad, or we've had an argument, or you know, I'm frustrated, but it's I'm never unsure. It's sort of like a person who's operating a vehicle that they really understand, and it's it's crazy because I didn't have that maternal instinct.

I'm sorry, smells you you smoot see in your eyes, Gotta get it out. I don't like. I just want it's better for you and better for me and better for everything. So um, I didn't have that maternal instinct. I didn't look at moms of babies and dream about it. It just I was pregnant, I had a baby, I felt madly in love. I understood it. I just it just was something I instinctively understood. So I just go

with my gut. You just go with your gut. You don't take too much advice because everybody is a pain in the ask and everybody's an expert, and nobody could be an expert on something that's like the ocean. It's like it's just a moving, living, breathing organism that's just moving at Catherine Matharine, what trade do I most strongly hope my daughter inherits from me. I don't think I really think about that. I mean, fearlessness, courage of conviction, individual, individuality.

I mean these boxes are already checked at this time. She's very individual and she's very original and I love that, and she's honest and I love that. But she's better than I am because she's more was served and not so aggressive and just more comfortable in her own skin in that way. I mean, she's really great. Um from anonymous. Do I tell Bren she can't date until a certain age? That's what my parents told me growing up, but that

definitely didn't work on me. I have a I have an eleven year old too, and I want to protect her, but I also don't want our relationship to be streamed because I'm telling her she can't date until she's sixteen, and then she hates me. I mean they're not really dating. I mean I don't know, am I naive? I mean they I guess at like thirteen or something, you'll start making out I suppose, or fourteen, But you'd rather know what's going on than them just sneak and then have rebellion.

I mean dating. They talked to boys, and they like to say that they're, you know, dating someone, or I have a boyfriend, or this one as a boyfriend. Then they ended the next day they date the friend of the person. There's no code. They don't even know what they're doing. They're like small little animals in the wild. I don't think there's much to worry about. Honestly, there's

something to worry about, you'll know it. But it's certainly not going to be changed by you locking your kid in the closet or telling them what they can and can't do. At that age. UM, you know, the doors open if they are ever with boys and you check in on them, and there's a certain um time limit. But I find that they just they just all zoom and group text. They don't do anything. They just want to say it. They like, watched a movie about what they think dating is and they just want to say it.

But they don't do anything. From at Jack's se J they held hands. They hold hands. I know that J A X S I E. What has been the hardest part of motherhood. The hardest part of motherhood has been UM just wanting to be with them all the time, to the point where so I went out to dinner last night. I went out to dinner at six o'clock. I got home at eight and my daughter, I never do this and that's my problem and sad and it

is what it is. But my daughter when I got home a little mamma, not really crying, but like she was like, I don't you know. I thought you were coming home at seven thirty and you didn't come home until like eight fifteen. And I I, I like I should.

I needed to have a plan with activities, so I could, you know, figure out what I'm like you sometimes you're a waiting from me for days or you got She just put the idea of of me being out to her, you know, because we're there their assistance, where we just we just serve at the pleasure of them. So if they have something to do, they have plans or they're you know, doing something else that's different. But we can't really have plans. So I'd say the hardest thing is

being torn. I don't want to do anything when I am with her. I just don't want to. I want to be with her. It's just it goes so quickly. So any time not spent with her, you know, gives me anxiety, but that's not necessarily healthy, and I understand that has to be a balance, but I don't know. I just choose her first. So the hardest part is not understanding what the balance really should because I don't

really care. I'm doing what I'm doing. And she used to sleep in bed with me a lot all the time, and probably until the I don't know, maybe like ten and during the pandemic, and I lived for it. I don't care about the world. She's not gonna sleep in her she doesn't sleep my bed. Now. Once in away a while she'll fall asleep, and they're frankly, it's annoying. It like you're on my body and you're snoring and you need to go in your own, good goddamn room,

but you love it. And then once in a while you crawl in their bed because you just want that extra because it's like extra time you get together. But the point is they sleep in your bed. They're not They're not going to college and sleeping in your bed. So don't worry about the stuff that doesn't matter. From Danny Rector, you talked about this a little bit, but did becoming a mother change your relationship with your mother?

It did because my daughter wanted a relationship and what she wants in that regard is more important because of the example, and because of do overs and break in the circle, and just just because. Um okay from Megan Brady, how do you think having kids changes romantic relationships. I had had a lot of shitty relationships in my twenties, and now at thirty five, I found the love of my life and I just feel like the luckiest person

in the world. But some of my girlfriends have had kids recently and put a lot of tension between them and their husbands. I just feel like I waited so long to find the perfect guy, and I don't want anything to ruin it. That's an interesting question, Megan. Well, that's a dance. Okay, you don't have to do it right away. But if you don't have kids and you want to and or your partner wants to also, and you go too long, that stage of selfishness could ruin it. Also,

you know, nothing good less forever. Trees do not grow up to the sky, So you have to find that balance your thirty five. Maybe start thinking about it at thirty six or thirty seven, so you take that time really get out of the honeymoon phase, be happy, and then you'll it'll be just like four seasons one, the next season will come. So it doesn't have to be

right now. But if you both have established in your individual lives and together that you want to have kids, don't then you don't want to not have them because of this honeymoon paradise phase. From Eric? What's harder? And also a relationship should grow and involve what it takes to manage difficulty and hardship and going through struggles and

managing parenthood. Like life can't be just fantasy and you know rainbows and unicorns, and that will fade anyway in any relationship, So you might as well throw having kids into the pot. If if if the fantasy is going to fade? Um from Eric, what's harder running a business or being a parent? Great question? Being a parent is

harder than running a business? Um? I think I think they're similar because running a business involves a lot of elements and organization and coordination and communication, being emotionally intelligent and I don't remember if I just said, did I say running a big business? Yeah? And and being a parent involves all those identical things and being present in your business is important, and focusing on it and prioritizing and being present. I think they're they're both equally as difficult,

which is I've never been asked that. That's a great question, Eric Anonymous, I where we're mom. How do you bounce advancing and work and being a good mom. I don't know how to split my time, and I feel like I'm always doing everything half asked. That's a terrible feeling. I get it. You need to be present in both. You need to win e both. You need to excel at both, and by having your ass in forty two places,

you're then doing each thing halfway. If you do when you're working full on, you're totally committed, you're not divided, you're not thinking about the other thing, You're just doing it. And then the same thing goes to parenting and you're not always on your phone and you're present, and you really create a discipline about it, you then can do both very well. It is possible. You have to be

fiercely organized. That calendar needs to be like a chessboard that you plan out and move the pieces ahead of time. You have to be fiercely organized about your business and just about everything from stuff to doctor's appointments, to packing, to school to everything. You've got to be on the game. You cannot. You can't probably be in great shape, having sex tan uh, going on great vacations, being very social. You can't do it all. But you can be successful

at work and parenting. You probably just can't be doing everything else. In addition, Yeah, I love the questions. Keep the questions and comments coming. Um. I think it's a great way for us to learn about each other. I love parenting, I love Mother's Day, and I love all of you. So I appreciate you. Please remember to rate, review and subscribe, and have an amazing day, and have a happy, happy Mother's Day.