The TikTok Ban, Dior Bags, Fires... January has been a LOT.

permanent residency there. I live there. I live on Instagram too, But I would almost say my primary residence is on TikTok because yeah, I would say my primary residence is on it. Yeah, my primary residence is. I'm actually thinking about this seriously, like TikTok is my Hampton's house, where it's where I feel the most comfortable and at home. But I do my day to day operations in my suburban house, So I would say TikTok is kind of

where my heart is. So let me explain the differences between Instagram and TikTok once and for all accurately, because it's a big conversation. As many of you know, there wash a TikTok band that went into effect this past weekend. I'm going to get into that and what that experience was like because that experience was like something happens on another planet that most people don't understand, but if you

live on that planet, you understand what went down. So before I get into what went down on the planet of talk when it crashed, I will explain to you that here is the difference between Instagram and TikTok. Instagram is like the Marriotte lobby, where many people are wearing name tags, people have personalities, people are attractive, people are

talking about things they should be talking about. Some people say some mistakes and say something they shouldn't, but overall, there is a decorum and there are some guard rails to what is going on on Instagram, and there's what you should do and what you shouldn't do. And I'm sorry to my Instagram people because I do have dual residency and I live there and I love you. But

Instagram has way more judgmental people. They would be way more There are a bunch of Karens over on TikTok, but people would say there are way more Karens on Instagram, and Instagram is extremely judgmental. They don't give you a lot of breathing room. You do something stupid they make

you feel feel like a fool. And TikTok so if Instagram is a bunch of people with name tags on doing what they're mostly supposed to do in an organized formatted timeline manner, TikTok is the after party upstairs where people are taking their clothes off. Someone has tassels on their titties. Someone's definitely made a full of themselves, said something stupid. Someone else has applauded them for saying that's something stupid. Even though in the mainstream it would not work.

Instagram is where mainstream media lives. There is not a lot of conspiracy theory there. There was not a lot of talk about my d or bags. The pandemic was discussed there, but in a more let's regurgitate from the multiple news stations manner, and TikTok is citizens journalism. Individuals

are reporters. Now. When I first got on TikTok, I thought, what the hell this random person is holding a microphone thinking they report the news, And once I lived on this planet longer, I realized, who the hell is the dummy on the mainstream channel also regurgitating and reporting the news? What is that person? A wizard that person definitely went to MIT and fought in wars and worked for NASA and has been a mother and a daughter and a man and a transgender person, and I like, so that's

just a person. It's just a person. The same way that I could be a pubists today, with all due respect to publicists that I love and mind Joel Fritzo. If I wanted to, I today could decide to be a publicist, a marketing executive. I could decide to be a lot of things. So people decided they were going to report the news, and they are very thorough. Some are just monkeys that just say things and spread false news, but that happens on the mainstream media too. Some are

really knowledgeable. I could think of very specific ones that are very knowledgeable. They know what they're talking about, like they actually have done their research, which is frankly all that mainstream journalists do. In addition, you can talk about things ad nauseum for TikTok and you can find a community that wants to keep hearing it. If I keep talking about relief work on Instagram, I will start to

lose followers and views will go down. That can happen on TikTok too, But I can find a pocket in that algorithm where everybody wants to talk about relief work, and the only thing they're upset about is what's not happening in North Carolina right now? Or what is happening in the fires, or how did the fire start? Or

what are the drones? They are the doorb or oh my god, there's a while, Mark Burkin, or I'm an asshole and I want to go show you my brand new four four hundred thousand dollar Rolls Royce and we're gonna fly to Thailand to go buy an air mes bag. And you're gonna go with that person or this one guy who like just every day flexes how expensive his

cars are, his homes are. Whatever. You find your you find your way, you find your place, and sometimes you meet people that aren't from your place and you find them interesting. I follow twenty something year olds and laugh at what they're doing. I don't really do that on Instagram. I'm like following more on twenty two year olds that do dumb dances that my daughter isn't even following, Like I just get a kick out of it. And the reason it's a community and a family is, like you

really there were people. So this is this, this really popped off during the pandemic. Okay, So apps like Cameo popped off during the pandemic because people couldn't see each other and they were sending messages. Apps like TikTok popped off because people home and they felt like they were with other people. I only regret that I wasn't earlier because I would have felt that lack of loneliness. You had a whole group of people that you were hanging

out with every day during the pandemic. Inside joke. Everything on TikTok is an inside joke. Everything is a hyperfixation, Like if I put like the wrong sea, if I didn't put everything bagel seasoning or capers or parmesan or something on something that it should have been, like, people would fucking go crazy, Like if you rinse your chicken and you're not supposed to. The hyperfixations are real, Like I could sit in front of a jar of candy and just be completely unhinged and talk about it, or

froth coffee. I can go viral and like have like people obsessed with and only making coffee every day like me, or eating chicken salad like me. Like, it's completely insane and it's one inside joke. So when you and your friends beat the shit out of a joke that you're the only people that understand and no one else understands, that's what the fuck it is. So after the pandemic, people were people who are ready were insular. You welcome me,

became more insular. The pandemic ended and they were given license to be home, and now they had these new friends. They didn't have to work as hard to go be social or meet people. People who were super social were home, and they were like starving and clinging on to the other people that also were home. People created businesses. People were vulnerable. People were scared, so they shared ups. Guys

became stars. Nurses became people with ten million followers that make millions of dollars a year, like or hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I don't know what people actually make besides you know, I don't know what people make besides like mainstream influencers and people learned things. My daughter was coming up with all these using socks to curl her hair and doing all these things, and I'm like, were you learning all this sewing? And it wasn't just

the dances, and Instagram is more corporate. Like Instagram is where like we're going to put up two feed posts a week, two re we should be doing a slider that goes on feed. But that chaotic little thing can go on stories. But like any fucking piece of spaghetti, you could burp and stick it on TikTok and it could get ten million views. And you could produce a feature film with Martin Scorsese and it could get three

views on TikTok. Like they are not snobs, they don't give a fuck like and they don't let outsiders in. So one time, Whinney Cummings was like, they accepted you. I'm like, what are you talking about? Because a long time ago they accepted Lizzo and then she got canceled and they really didn't she I haven't seen her in a long time. And I don't know where Jason Derulo is. He's been massive on that app and he never got canceled, but I just don't see him. And it used to

be that there was one community. Now there are all these different planets. I happened to walk into the Beauty Planet because I was just trying to fuck around and learn how to do my makeup, not realizing that there was a whole beauty world on YouTube and that that was like a thing. I thought I invented the wheel and I was in that room, but I didn't realize

there was that room. There was then the food room where that girl with the seaweed and the salmon lived, and then there's like an organizing room, and a home to core room, and like all a steakroom right now, Like there are all these different rooms and you can switch rooms and you can curate who's in your room, and Instagram is trying to do that and reels are trying to do that, but somehow it's just not vibing so much so that after a twelve hour TikTok Lips

blackout shutdown of twenty twenty five, the deck has been shuffled and people are coming back and they feel like something's different because the snow globe got shaken, and therefore, you page, the stuff that comes through to you is no longer what you took years to curate. Like you've curated exactly what you want to see and who you want to talk to, and you have the same people in your comments, and you always get more, but like

you're in an inside joke. Now I'm watching Josh Richards do do fuck boys way house dances, which doesn't mean anything to you. It's like the young kids that started TikTok and so like we are all like, wait, it's different. So that's how I can explain to you how Instagram is different because a nuance can shave something, so people

don't like the vibes over there. And when the TikTok shut down for twelve hours, everybody ran to my page and my team started just posting like slamming content because they were like children that wanted to be hugged. And it sounds insane, but like in many ways, I'm an aunt and a sister and a mother to some of these young kids. They've asked me business advice. I've helped them, They've asked me about their weight like products, like I've kind of been there for some of them because I

do provide a different type of wisdom. I'm providing very serious but digestible business wisdom, very serious but digestible philanthropy wisdom, very not serious beauty wisdom. But then they'll always be infused some version of like something that they can understand or I can crystallize what's going on with a talk a talk sound that's going viral and like how long it will last and why not to buy into it

and intellectual property. I've helped them with and organizing their house and affordable design, and you know, that's just what goes on there. So I'm the good news is when you keep washing your hair with the same shampoo, you should shake it up because then it will get a little more body. And we all got comfortable on TikTok.

While I have a good community on Instagram and I love Instagram, you got comfortable over there, and a lot of people like the Alex Earls and the people that make a lot of money over there, were very worried when TikTok was going to shut down. I was not worried when TikTok was going to shut down from like a business or what do I do every day to you know that sort of thing perspective, meaning some people

were worried about their businesses. Spencer Pratt was in a free fall because he just became TikTok famous a week ago because his house burnt down, and now he felt like he got a taste and it was going away, so they were really really down. I was emotionally unhinged because I like the community and I like comedy. So for me, it's a self expression. I get to express myself and do very stupid things and be very flawed and unhinged, and there it's like my Saturday Night Life.

I've never been able to host Saturday Night Live or even be on it except for the multiple times they mentioned me. So TikTok is my television show. It's my Saturday Night Live. It's why I never went back to TV. I get to be myself and I just connect with this medium and I built a community there, which takes a really long time. So TikTok is the land of the misfit toys, TikTok is the rescue dogs. Instagram is

where the breeder dogs live. So I hope that makes sense to you, and many of you were going to have an interesting time and started to see what really unhinged Bethany is like. As you know, all the ex pats and the TikTok refugees started to fly in and now they're flying back, and a lot some of them got on red note this weird Chinese app that you

literally have to speak Mandarin to fully understand it. People were like going through People were exchange students over there because they were worried that they weren't going to have TikTok, and it was like a TikTok knockoff. And there's some other I'm like, I don't know what it's called, like bright Side or something. I can't remember, but it was a moment, And then I'm gonna get into the actual moment in time, the historical pop cultural moment, the TikTok

shut down of twenty twenty five. They all describe it as crashing out, and I was an unhinged, crashing out warrior, like I was there to the bitter end, in fact, in the most iconic and epic thing that's ever happened to me on that app, And many people are saying it's the most iconic and epic thing they've ever witnessed on the app. When it was crashing out slowly, like not slowly, meaning it crashed out pretty quickly, but like

each of us was dissolving. Spencer Pratt with Heidi, Alex Earle and myself were all on a live and one by one we just started to each fade. They faded because it was my live and then the people were crying and freaking out in the in the comments, and then I faded, and then they were talking to each other like, wait, is it over? And you saw that

sign that just said it was over. And we all thought that this world that we had all made these connections on, like I know nurses from Staten Island, I know hairdressers, I know people that don't pizza stores like I, and you think I don't know them, Like I've invited them to some of my events. I plan to have a party for them. They've supported me. They're good human beings.

And when we were crashing out, we were crashing out and I was just un hinge, and I was drinking this cannabis drink and just being honest, and I wasn't saying I mean. The funny thing about it is on TikTok, so many people shared things that weren't true. I would never have anything to share that wasn't true because I've

never shared anything on TikTok that wasn't true. So a lot of people were like, oh, I didn't really mean it when I said this scare was good or this workout I don't really do or I've never really been there, I've never done that. So but I was crashing out and it was like a disconnection. It was like we were all sinking on the Titanic and it was going under.

And for those of you who are on Instagram will say like, oh my god, like get a life, like it's social media app or any of you who will say that, I've raised millions of dollars on social media, both on Instagram and on TikTok. I've been able to convey things about lawsuits and business that I could never have conveyed anywhere else. I went through my mother dying, not fully, but like a little bit like dipped in and out and dating and a little bit of a

breakup on TikTok and Instagram. Like social media, if used for good not evil, is a very powerful medium, and if you're a homebody like myself, it certainly is a powerful social medium. But for many people, the mainstream media thinks it was because of the business that was going to be lost, and that is an aspect, and some people have left their businesses and do have a career there and make money and monetize who they actually are

because they left their jobs. And many major businesses make millions and millions of dollars, and that was all real. But the people that were crashing out, the people that were crying, and we're not thinking really primarily of their money. They were thinking of the connection. They were thinking of their people. They were thinking of their friends, their family. They were thinking of the beautiful disaster. They were thinking of the land of misfit toys. They were thinking of

not coloring within the lines. They were thinking of being at the after party upstairs like a lunatic and not being in the lobby of the Marriotte with a lanyard on. Well, the month of January has been pretty boring. We really need something to happen. There's just not a lot going on. Let's review. There was a cyber truck alleged bomb incident in Vegas. There was another incident like that in New Orleans.

There were like seven plane either crashes or failures or something in one week before right before Christmas, so and then right after there was like intense fog. There were there were and still are drones which I've renamed Diora bags everywhere. But I had been told that people would stop paying attention to them because so many other crazy things were going to happen. Now do I know how? And why? No, I'm not. I'm not a fucking genius, nor am I a mind reader, nor am I a

fortune teller. And I keep saying that we are all ants because whatever anything is, we're not going to be the ones to know it. We'll be told what we need to know. It's like you sit the fuck down, You sit at the kids say well, we'll call you. Do not speak unless spoken to, and so then after the doora bags, then it was the California fires. Then there's an uprising because of North Carolina because they're not getting the love and the attention and the media that

the California fires are getting. And I went there to do relief work and I'm a zombie. I'm so exhausted. The people there are so traumatized. They are zombies different reasons. And then we came back, and then there was the TikTok ban, and then there were the hostages discussed, and now there's an inauguration. It's fucking January twentieth. It feels like January ninety ninth. It feels like it's been five months in this week, it's been this month has been

five months long. I am so tired. My week started. I went to La. I flew there, went to the way. What did I do? I flew there, woke up, went to the warehouse, got the warehouse organized, had started to raise money already, so now I had raised probably at that point like probably one to two million dollars. Continued to raise money, wrote all sort of the copy for everything we were going to portray in what we were going to say about this disaster. Did multiple press outlets

in La. While there, I think I did Extra and NBC and Spectrum and something else. And then went on multiple missions, actually living boxes and cash cards and meeting people and it was so tragic and so sad, but really making a difference in helping. Then going to the second mission in a church and doing a big speech and speaking to everyone about it. Then deciding I'm getting on a red eye because I want to be there with my daughter for breakfast and after school. So I

get on a red eye. Sleep three hours on the red eye because I'm so activated and wound up. Get off the red eye, sleep an hour Cebrian right before school, give her a kiss, don't drive her that day because I'm a zombie. Get organized the whole day. Because the reason I wanted to take the Red Eye was to like have one night in my house. I like to nest. I don't like to go one place to the next. I like to get back to the base, even if it's inconvenient, even if it takes longer. I like to

get back to the base. And sadly, as an influencer, the amount of shit I get sent that I don't even want takes a full time job, and getting back to the base to go through it and tell everyone where it's going to go and what we're doing with that? Are we shooting it? And then the next morning woke up. I think it was like five o'clock five one day, six o'clock one day, and I had to do morning shows. Oh no, that's not true. I did the opening of

the Nasdaq Bell. I rang the opening of the Nasdaq bell, something that people would wait their entire lives to do. That one thing that is like slotted in on that day because afterwards I had either like CNN or NBC. I had like two news news outlets that day to do. Then went home to be with Brinn for dinner. No, that's not true. Then went back to the city, had dinner with two people. Don't know why I would ever

do that, but had dinner. Then woke up the next morning at five o'clock in the morning to get up and to do Gail King, and I believe we did one other thing. We did Access Hollywood right after Gail King. Yes, Gail King into Access Hollywood. But wait, there's more. Then I left, came home. I had to go through whatever I had to go through with business, do my normal life,

my normal business. Then I woke up the next day and had to go to a volleyball tournament for two days, screaming auditoriums, ballrooms, drive to one and a half hours on the way there to Hartford, and then drove back in a snowstorm two and a half hour or some of it being ten miles an hour, skidded a little bit, like literally in full panic because I wanted to go see her, but I had to get home. And that is where I stand right now. I am a carcass I feel like I am like some tar that's on

the tire of someone's car. Oh and we also threw all that raised about four million dollars and like being the full switchboard onboarding kat Korra for her eight hundred meals to be a part of our program and our charity, and just got off with the producer to give them possibly a job in the warehouse. And oh, I forgot yesterday right before I went to the volleyball tournament. I oh, and I forgot the TikTok ban. And I forgot the

TikTok ban. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. After Gail King come home, then am in my house and have a full unhinged ttok tiktoka lips melt down, crash out ban, then go to the Then on the way to the volleyball tournament, did Good Morning America or ABC News? I am not a person, not a person. Why my team scheduled this right now, I'll never know. But that's that. And tomorrow I have a massive photo shoot for my website.

So I'm a shattered wreck. Okay. The TikTok band does bring up the phone and our addiction to it, and that it's like a crutch and we sleep with it. We use it as an alarm clock in we say it's in case our daughters call. My daughter has her phone in her room because she uses it as an alarm clock. I don't love that. I bought a clock for next to my bed, and it is helping at least,

like with putting my phone outside my room. It may not be early, like eight o'clock and shutting everything down, but even when I go to bed, I'm putting it outside my room. And yes, let's say i wake up at two o'clock in the morning, which happens often, and I go to the bathroom and I've been thinking about something, or wanting someone to text or expecting something. I will look. But even the dis point of having it out there is kind of the first steps. So I did buy

I don't need an alarm. Actually I set alarm clock. I don't ever use an alarm, but a clock to be by my bedside, just to look at the time, because often you pick up your phone to look at the clock, but then it's triggering about who texted who didn't, and you get sucked into the rabbit hole. So I think you should think about some version of a very nice, chic little clock. And they often have sound machines now, and some one of them is a charger Mine is

a charger, but it sucks. It doesn't charge, but I just and then you don't need You don't need it as a charger because you're not using your phone next to there, so that's but it's still a charger throughout the day you might need it. Mine does not work.

it or be able to help it. The circumstances could be so great that someone just can't really be there for you or give you what you need, or do the things that they're supposed to do, and whatever that relationship dynamic is, whether work, friendship or personal intimate you know, marriage, dating, And there comes a time when people bend so far. It happens in comedy too, you can bend it if

it breaks, it's no longer funny. And it happens in relationships where when you bend too far and then you break. You snap. It's hard to come back from. There's really no more rope, and you could be broken hearted and it could be the most upsetting thing in the world. But once you've crossed over and you've seen too much,

it's very hard to go back. So I caution you, in your relationships and in situations to try to take care of things and treat them as if they are precious and sometimes made of glass, sometimes delicate, even if it's some you know with staff, like people who work with you are for you, like you know, we can all be frustrated and snappy, and we're not. No one's perfect.

But in any kind of relationship, it's really important to watch when something is bending so far that it might break, if you are not willing to lose it and not willing to walk away from it. It's weird. I'm thinking of that Brionna Chicken frying grayce O'Malley, that friendship that you probably don't know about, but like broke down on TikTok and social media because they were best friends and

something happened and it snapped and it broke. It happens a lot on the housewise but that doesn't count because that's not real, and that's effectively effectively manufactured drama. What is actually happening is real, but it would not be happening if it weren't on that show. It's the pressure of the show. It's the manipulation of the producers. It's the putting certain people together with other certain people for certain circumstances. It's the bringing up of things that would

never normally brought be brought up. It's the non pleasantry, is the sort of getting right to saying the things you would never normally say because it's part of the job. It's exposing your relationship. It's exposing your past. It's having to talk about your dark secrets and your skeletons. It's not having to have enough arguments in drama to rate. You're acutely aware of that. Someone may not, at this point in twenty twenty five tell you you have to

get in a fight or rip someone's hair out. But there's a pressure and a feeling because in no other world, if people flip tables, rip weaves out, and behave this way, throw drinks at each other, it happens there because people are aware that if throwing your leg in the middle of a dance floor might get you ratings. You want the gig and in real life, not that life. The bending and breaking, it can be tragic and detrimental. It can be Once something breaks, it's hard to crazy glue

back together. When it's bending, it's stretching. It's not doing back great. It's working. It's it's you know, working overtime. But you could possibly get it back to its original shape. Once something fully breaks, it's hard to get back to its original shape. Let's talk about red flag relationships, because I've talked about red Pink flags are red flags, and you know red flags. Charming is a red flag. But like, there are relationships where you may be really attracted to someone,

or let's say you fall in love with them. Let's say it just seems really great. Let's say you're lonely, Let's say you're bored, but you get into a relationship and along the way there are red flags, and they're each small red flags, and you can gaslight yourself into convincing that they're okay because there's one red flag. And then you talk to the person and you bury that red flag. It's like whack the mole. And then another one pops up, and in the aggregate you find yourself

getting deal fatigue. But it's like each time it's just not such a big thing. So you kind of gaslight yourself like that wasn't a big thing. And your friends might be like rolling their eyes because they've heard all the things and you're kind of describing this one thing, and you know you're trying to convince why it's not that big of a deal. But the people that you've been discussing it with, be careful about crowdsourcing. We all do it, and it's probably not the best idea, but

I talk to my therapist, but I also crowdsource. Those people are thinking, wow, I can't believe this person's accepting less than what they deserve. They never do, but it's because along the way all the little red flags don't seem like they amount to that much. And I just caution you this. If someone shows you who they are, believe them, Believe them, don't describe it away. Don't think people are going to change, Don't be the nag. Don't keep telling people what you want and repeating the same

information expecting different results. Don't be repeating the same behavior and expecting different results. And sometimes you'll just have to walk away. You will just have to walk away, no matter what your feelings are. And sometimes that walking away will give someone We'll scare someone straight. Sometimes walking away scares someone straight, and that's all so good because they realize the stakes and they realize they want to change.

Sometimes walking away make someone realize that it's too much damage you're giving them, or that you realize you've walked away. You almost don't want them to get scared straight. You almost don't want them to change because you're scared that they won't be able to. When you're schedule to get hurt, you're almost out, You're like, okay, but you're hurting, you know,

like that kind of feeling. So I caution you to really think about red flags because I've talked about that a lot on my divorce podcasts, and I really ignored a lot of red flags, and I think it's really critical. Another thing to caution in dating and in dating apps and in meeting people is people asking you for things

in the beginning. As it pertains to business, I've found that many people that I go out with, I all of a sudden enter into being their mentor it's not specific and they haven't asked me that, but somehow they're like constantly asking me for either favors or advice or saying, you're really inspiring me, you're making me really, you know,

get motivated to do this. And that's good on its face, but sometimes what you're doing is a mirror for someone else, and they start to feel badly about themselves and they start to sort of secretly compete, or they start to think that they need to do something to overcompensate for what you are because I have so much going on that it will make any person feel somewhat insecure about

whatever they don't have going on. Even if compared to like a normal, nice, needy, basic girl, they are so much bigger and they get to be the big shot. They still will feel that way in this relationship, and often men want to run back to the girl that makes them feel like the big man on campus, because that's the girl who doesn't have a lot going on, and he's gonna be like, you're my prince, you're my king. Yeah, I'm here for whatever you need. I'll go wherever you want.

That makes it hard to me people, because that's not me and be careful of that type of stuff. I had a guy match me and the first sentence out was, I admire what you've done. I have this business and it does this, and I'd really like to talk to you at some point. This is why someone matched me on cameo. People have paid me for a cameo to pitch me their business, which is a little more appropriate. But I'm not going to like respond to them and give them a shark tank response for you know, three

hundred dollars. It's insane. But people do that in a relationship too. They don't maybe they don't realize it, but they're like utilizing you as some version of a mentor. I don't want to work when I'm in my social life. I once had someone want to go out with me and their daughter was a big fan, and they asked me if they should bring their daughter. I was like, I thought dating was a two person sport if we're not in the fucking Mormon country. So anyway, you'll see

a lot of shit. You'll see a lot of shit. Going back to bending and breaking. Also, I find that the good dynamic is when both people are givers. You will start to see if you are the giver or the taker in a relationship, and I have been both. It's not black and white, and you in a relateral I've always been a person who gives love and who gives, and who definitely gives materialistically and who gives gift twise,

I am very much like that. But from an emotional standpoint or from a thoughtful standpoint, or from a doing standpoint, you know, I'm definitely there. Maybe I'm not always giving emotionally, maybe I shut down, but you will find when there's someone in a relationship who's sort of always taking, it's

just like they're always asking for something. There's always some more thing that they need, and you're always going out of your way to do things for them, even when they're not asking, because they're just sort of have that take or energy, and you just get into the role of being the giver. And I don't think that I think that lends to the bend and break, because that is effectively the giving tree. The giving Tree story is about going every day to take branches from this tree

who kept giving and giving and giving. In one day it's said, I'm sorry, I have no more branches to give, and it was very sad because that's when you realize.