How was your Fourth of July holiday?
Wow?
Mine was a rollercoaster.
So I went through a really traumatic loss of my mother, and it was right after I was revisiting my horrible divorce, and yes, then I went through a breakup. It was something that I kept to myself. It was something that I mourned on my own, and I did therapy and I did the work, and I just didn't feel like it needed to be shared. It was a breakup that I wanted to process alone, privately, and I didn't feel that I owed anybody any explanation. And the breakup was
something that I initiated. I wasn't happy, something needed to change. It was certainly mutual. The relationship had its challenges, and nobody dumped anybody, but I went through it. I was scared because of my past and my abandonment issues. I get very scared when there's any sort of change in someone you depend on and someone that you love.
But I knew that it was ultimately.
The right thing, and I really made peace with it, and I was happy. I was thriving and I was surviving. I was looking good, feeling good. I was in therapy. I wasn't medicating with men I wasn't distracting. I was comfortable being alone. I was in a place that I had decided I wanted to be, and I was happy and strong, enjoying the summer.
With my daughter.
And then I get hit with an onslaught of articles. Now, let me review when we first broke up. There was an article saying that my act was publicly making out with a woman, and that's how people assumed that we broke up. I didn't clarify anything. I wasn't even upset. I just was dealing with my own issues and that was a blip on the radar. It was not good judgment based on the fact that I'm a public person,
but I was really focusing on myself. And then last week I started to see my name in headlines being portrayed as the jilted X who had been upgraded from that my ex had moved on from me with a younger woman, and that it regurgitated the continuous narrative that he is a very under the radar person who had now gotten serious to someone, had a girlfriend, met her family, met her kids, she had met his kids. He was
in a serious relationship. He had bought her present, and they were a new unit, and the media presented me as some sort of spinster that's just home crying, suffering a breakup and watching this new transition, when in fact I was really happy. I was really happy. But when you get hit with headlines that are explaining the details of a new relationship in quotes that have been placed by people, you know, when it's basically saying, you know,
Paul's a very under the radar guy. That indicates that I'm an over the radar girl and that he couldn't handle the relationship, when, like I said, the breakup was initiated by me. It was mutual, and I was upset by it and scared about it towards the end and on sure, but it's something that I ultimately was happy about. It wasn't a relationship I wanted to be in, and it wasn't a person that I wanted to be with anymore. To be honest, for many reasons that I really had
to come to terms with. And everyone has experienced and breaking up with someone and then hearing about them with someone else.
We've all been there. Now times that by one hundred.
Because you're reading it all day every day in articles, people are messaging you people are asking you for You're okay, You're going through a breakup again.
Now.
Read quotes from people directly saying Paul moved on from Bethany very quickly. He's met her family, he's met her kids, she's met his kids. They had sex all weekend. They committed to each other on the first date. Like it
was endless. It was insane. It's like you're inside someone else's relationship and you didn't ask for any of this, and this woman is talking about this very publicly, so she's sharing all of the details of their brand new relationship that has been happening for six weeks, right after a six year relationship. And I will never get to the details of our breakup, but it certainly was shocking.
It was definitely shocking, and it's embarrassing hearing about your ex fiance committing to another woman shortly thereafter on their first date, and then being inside their relationship, hearing about their sex and their gifts and meeting each other's kids.
And the level of commitment was gutting. It was brutal.
The one thing that was difficult was constantly reading the headline that my ex is under the radar, making him the hero and me the villain. Isn't the woman always the villain, the spinster, the old maid, the one upgraded from the crazy one in this case, the one who must be over the radar, when ironically I was the one who was very much under the radar. And I
just want to say that I'm okay. I mean it was rough because I had to experience the same breakup twice, but way worse the second time because I had to hear about all these details. And you know, I do let the truth get in the way of a good story. I am in therapy, I am working on myself. I am confident, I am single, I am independent, I am happy, and I will survive this. The only thing I'll leave you with is as a woman, I think we have
to think about the other woman in any situation. So if you're the new woman in a relationship, I think you have to tread lightly and be cautious about whoever the woman before you was, because we've all been in both positions, and I think by sharing all the details of your new relationship, you're disrespecting the last relationship. And I learned a lot during this experience. I'm sure this woman has learned a lot. I didn't take the bait.
I stayed quiet. I just let it play out. And it was really, really rough, and I'm proud of myself and I'm proud of the way that I handled it. And I think this woman has learned a lot too. And I think that everybody lost in this situation because their actions cost them their relationship, which was brand new, and who knows what would have happened. Incidentally, I have
messaged with Olivia Culpo. I reached out to her before this media spectacle got out of hand, and she responded to me, which is sweet because she just got married, and she was really nice and said she's a fan and she has all my books and she really looks up to me, and that was really kind and it was actually a nice, warm blanket during this whole crazy thing. So maybe she'll come on the podcast. Congratulations Olivia. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful life with your new husband.
So I hope you had a better week than I did. I hope there's something you can take away from this. But I love you all. I'm good, I'm happy, and I'm single. Who knows, maybe at some point I'll be ready to start dating again. Well, I guess life actually is a cabaret. So I went to a party this weekend. I've been in my social era and this guy, Jason Weinberg, had a party at Moby's in the Hamptons.
He's a big time manager.
And it's like the ghosts of Christmas past this party.
It's insane.
You see people that you've known your whole life, and everybody sees it this way, meaning my first publicist, the woman who owns Say Beauty, John Hamm, Neil Patrick Harris, Kelly Ripbaugh, one of the house great from Jersey, Leah Michelle, Ralph Macchio. Like it's literally like a fever dream or like a bizarre movie that you it's it's so crazy, you see, I could name twenty other people that I saw, Steve Madden.
A girl who was at my wedding, like just so many.
Jill Martin was there, John and Lizzie Tish were there, endless people that you're just like, wait a second. So anyway, I bring Brinn because the people have their kids too. And out of the corner of my eye, I see Luene, I see the hat. I see Luanne. I said to Brynd Lawanne's there, and Brinn is a little mischievous, little little termite, little little she just is like nibbling on
a little snack, like in her mind. So she her her face goes like devious and she's just like mom because she likes she knows that, like Kelly said, I was a chef and not a cook and not a chef, and like she knows that life is not a cabaret.
She secretly watches, I think once in a while, like she's.
Kind of I'm peripherally aware of the stupidity and like the feuds, and it's just like a sport for her, you know. She likes a little drama, like a little local drama. So I say, Luene's there. She's like, come mom, you have to go over because she wants to watch. She wants to get her popcorn out. She's like, you guys, she's a viewer. And I'm just like, I don't want
to deal with this. And I see my friend Keith and Mark, who are friends with her, and they're like they're friends of their free years, and they're like, come on, this would be amazing. Go be the bigger person. So she walks by and Brinn's looking at me and it's Keith and Mark and Brann. I'm just like, hey llo Anne. And it was instant. And it was my daughter though like kids, heal all wounds. My daughter's the one who
made me reach out to my mother. And because of my daughter, did I set a good example and say hello to Luanne? And I said, and per my friend Mark, He was like, say congratulations. So she'll love that and so and we all want validation as creatures. And so I say to Brent, I say to her, I say hi, congratulations and everything or something like that.
I mean, while she has like trashed me last week, I don't care. It's just funny. That's so.
How so I've it like it's like you go to sleep and you forget and you wake up and nothing happened.
And so I say congratulations.
And then I say, Brin, and I do the video for you guys on Instagram, like life actually is a cabaret, you know, I say, Brin, you know what? Life actually is a cabaret And I kind of open it up to Lane and we take pictures in the lands, like.
I need those pictures. I need those pictures. I need those pictures.
I have to send other those pictures today and I meant to send them on social media because but she we're blocked.
I'm wocked. I think she's probably blocked too.
And the bottom line is I know exactly what the arguments are about, but they also were within the context of that dumpster and I don't care. Like if we had met each other not through that vehicle, I can guarantee you we would never have been in an argument.
I don't really argue, you know what I mean, I don't have.
The only people that I've ever had arguments with are within the framework of the Housewives for the most part, Like there are exceptions, but like you know.
The people that people publicly.
Know I have had arguments with, they're all from that stupid show that like Dumpster Fire, which by the way, confirms what I've always said, like that show is designed for people to despise each other. I mean, you can say whatever you want, and this is not me. So it's like whenever LUN's been like why do you bite that hand that feeds you? And it's like why because that hand doesn't only feed, that hand also divides and while she's made money off of it and success and
that hand did feed us. That hand also fed us by making us hate each other. So it's we're saying the same thing, you know. So anyway, the bottom line is I don't I don't care. I was happy to kind of clean it up. And in life, I do like things to be clean. I don't like things to be unsettled and to like duck when I see someone, I just don't.
But my daughter, like, heals all wounds. It's the best.
And being an example for your daughter or your son, you know, heals all wounds like you just want to be.
A better person. You want to leave them.
You want to leave the world better than you found it, and you want your kids to be better than you. And I don't want my daughter to like see any toxicity like me in a corner because I don't heard pattern that behavior. I want her to always be the bigger person. I want her to not take the bait, and I want her to thrive and survive and.
Just be happy.
I don't want her to be all tarnished and toxic. So and I left that show because of her, And I was happy to see Luanne, and I was happy to take the advice and to clean it up.
And I'm excited.
That was really that was just positive and yeah, the universe is healing, all good. And I guess, at least in twenty twenty four, Life is a cabaret who knew