About new toilets. Bought new Japanese toilets, and I always thought they were so expensive, like millions of dollars because they look warm. They have a warming feature where there by the way, you could get ones that are reasonable. They're not that expensive. But the point is, you know, I was in my house and like you know, some toilets they flushed differently, they take longer. You gotta hold the thing down. One upstairs in my house rattles unless
you like lift the little toilet lever. Like, I just think there's one thing in our lives that we should have trust in. It should be your fucking toilet. Like it's just something that like, don't buy a handbag, get a goddamn new toilet, because toilets, you know, run the gamut in prices. You can get an affordable new toilet. I just think, like, get new goddamn toilets. If you don't have trust in your toilet, you don't have trust
in anything. You really don't. Not even trusting your toilet means you're walking around your whole life unsafe, unsound, unsafe people come to your house. Just like, trust your fucking toilet. That's all that I say to you if you only learn one thing. For me, this entire experience of this podcast is make sure you have a good relationship with your toilet, and it's a toilet that you can trust.
Feels fair insane. I'm noticing with a lot of these Netflix movies and these crazies, the Tindler, Swindler, the Army Hammer, the Psarma, the Bad Vegan. You know at the end you're dissatisfied because you don't get like the ending, like you don't know, they don't tell you. We don't know Timdler, Swindler got off, Army Hammer, We don't know what's gonna happen.
Like we see this all this stuff that's being presented in a way and it's all presented in a way that everything is true and these people were monsters and then at the end it's like, yeah, slap on the wrist. So I find them to be like dissatisfying. I know it's not a movie with a Hollywood happy ending, but like, I don't know, can we produce these movies when we have a clear ending? So that's yeah, the Tidler Swindler, So what does that mean he got off? Like did
he really? I don't know? I don't know, it's just this. I can't tell you to make a Hollywood ending for a goddamn documentary. I get it. It's just weird. They t you up and obviously there's creativity used in documentaries and creative license, and they tee you up and at the end you're like, it's like a real hand job, like can we finish please. This happened with somebody I
don't want to say who was. There was somebody who chimed in on the slap at the Oscars and then they got dragged because they had an interaction with with Will Smith's son. Like, sometimes you chime in on something and by the way, I'm sure this is gonna happen to me. At some point. You chime in and you
get caught in the blowback. So like Chelsea Clinton was calling for the release of the photos of Trump getting vaccinated, and then they said they were response tweets about her dad, like let's get the photos of your dad um on
Epstein Island or Epstein's plane or something. So sometimes you gotta do an inventory because you could get caught in the backlash, Like if you're gonna go say something and that that was a that was a pretty insane response, Like pretty clever response, but it's one of the things. I mean, I don't think you could possibly predict all the things that someone could say about you. Um, but you gotta tick it through, you gotta pick it through.
So this happened to me a couple of weeks ago, with somebody publicly posting an Instagram message that I sent to them, Like, this is happening all the time on Housewives, this is happening with different celebrities like sharing to I'm old school. I'm the person that's still like remembers you took a photo and then you took it when and got it developed. I remember the days when like you weren't like, look how good my ass looks, How look
how hot I am? Look how great I am? Like I'm the person that remembers when you text somebody or email someone that's private. I'm not a lawyer, but like, I don't expect that anyone's going to share my text or emails. And I do tell my daughter anything you put in writing will be shared. So whatever you put in writing, you need to know that it will be shared. I scare her because you never know with these kids. But I don't really believe that. I really don't believe that. Like,
if I text someone, it's going to be shared. How fucked up is this world? So all the time we see these things in the public, So I bring I bring this up. So Adam Levine's boring garden variety cheating style is the biggest thing anyone's talking about, Like many women are coming out. Okay, who knows, maybe has six wives, Maybe he's Mormon. I don't give a fuck. But the point is people on social media are sharing text that Adam Levine sent to them and back you texted back
and forth. That's like, isn't that a private code? What the fund has happened? When don't we allow you to to share people's text? This has become a common practice, Like we're now listening some girls sitting down a dateline NBC or Junko Morning America. This fucking like, hey, this morning on our show. Today we have a total fucking asshole who shared private text publicly, Like where's that story? I'm
so confused. You're not allowed to record somebody else. If I'm on the phone with somebody from California, they're not allowed to record this conversation. Okay, and without my knowing, without third part, without consent, they're not allowed to record it. In New York, I'm allowed to record someone else's conversation, but I don't believe the I'm allowed to use it if they don't know that I'm recording. And anyway, that
would be the biggest scumbag move to do. Anyway, when did it become okay to just fucking screen grab and share text that people sent you. I am so old school, like, I would never you have no idea. And I literally I have texts from everyone famous as you can imagine. I have personal texts from Ellen from c from Kelly Rippuff, from Ellen Pompeo, from Amy Schumer, from fucking Charles Barkley and Mark Cuban and Dave Portnoy, and I have all these texts. I would never ever share a text ever,
Like it's crazy. Actually, yesterday the producer on the phone here said to me, I have a text from a message from Rega because I want to get him on the show. And she said, oh, can you send the text? I said, no fucking way, I would never. I don't care if he said he had a salami sandwich. I wouldn't send it like I don't share text? When is this a thing? When would this? Because I will send my assistant if I texted, mind of my assistance, yes, can I get the green juice that has the you know,
lavender syrup and blueberries? And then my other assistant says, I lost that. What could Then I'll send over like yeah, I'd like, I'd like linguini, you know, parmesan like. But I can't even imagine this world we live in now? What a group? If someone ever fucking shares your text, there is scumback. Okay, so I don't know who's doing it. On Housewives, it's happened for a long time, but you're a scumbag. I may retract Housewives. I'm making one addendum.
If you're on the Housewives and someone is lying about something because it's happened and people have printed out paper, I know of the Ramona's Princes, someone Carol, someone had like copious notes. If you're on the house I was in and he's asking a question and someone is actually lying about something, that's the caveat, Like if you're if that's something you have to prove, like you have to prove yourself, like in my custody trial. I have shared texts. Okay,
there are caveats, so I must say that. But I'm saying coming out and being like, hey, everybody, Adam Levine, Adam Levine is cheating on his w let me share our text together, like where none of that text says please don't fucking text me, and then he continues to text her and it's a textual as salt like that, or you're proving a case, you're proving, you know that something legally illegal happened. If you're proving something illegal happened,
then you can share a text. But just thinking that would text somebody and that it's just an unsafe space doesn't make any sense to me, Like does that me? You know, I just can't imagine it, Like I can't imagine it. I can't imagine it. And I think there's a code. And I know the celebrities that I have message on Instagram and back, and I think I know who to trust, like they know to trust me too. They would never fucking share our text ever. The people
that I just to even mentioned never. I have Nikki Hilton, we have tax Kathy Hilton would never. She would Kathy and Nicky would send anything to me. They know I would never share because I'm a fucking vault and everyone in this industry knows that that is an absolute fact. Fucking vault. I know everything. Andy Cohen insane text between the two of us back and forth. He would never ever share my text. I would never share his text never. Um anyway, that's just I just thought about that. It's
like a common practice. Now, let's just share tell your tax not a share that with everybody. It just feels like there's no code, basic code. So yes, there are caveats when it comes to you know, housewives and legality, but that aside. Fuck that. So I've talked before about people, have you done with this before? What do I say
that's gonna make you talk less? If I say I have, if I say, if I say, I haven't, tell me everything and how like big plates are to share, and like appetizers are first, and how things are farm raised and and that kind of stuff. And if I tell you nothing, I'm not going to know anything about what you have or what. So but I always say, yes, I've eaten here, I live here, I'm here every day. I know everything about everything and the menu because I don't want to hear it all right, and I what's
your water preference? Wet? But when did servers start telling you every this is this is lamb lettuce, and and and and nice um Parisian radish which has been shaved
and massaged and had electrolysis last night. And these are lavender berries which have been poached delicately, made into a nice puree, put through a fine sieve, rubbed delicately on the breast of a salmon filet, and then sent out to a tanning bed to poach to delightful perfection at a hundred eighteen degrees Like I, I, that's so long what you just said. And I didn't listened to any of it. I just let the fucking food. It was on the menu, do I have to I don't want
to listen to twice. I listened to the menu. I've read the scroll. It told me there were lavender berries on I read that. Now you're gonna tell these are the lavender berries. I those are the berries. I figure there are berries. I don't want to hear it all. I don't want to know. I don't wanna know. I just don't want to hear it all. I just want to eat the food. I don't want to eat the food.
So it has lavender berries on I presumably don't want to eat it because it's a pretentious do she restaurant. But if I I've already got myself this far, I don't want to hear about it. Let me live. This is the duck. I'll figure the fucking rest out. I told you my allergies. If I have any questions, will go through it in the Q and a period of the meal m