Listener Q&A

will be worse. I don't know what the reason for the snoring related to alcohol is, so I don't know. Other people say it's because they're they're boyfriend's husbands or fiances are overweight. Um, but that also doesn't always work. Some people just snore. And do you know anyone who snores? Because if someone sn my dog sometimes snores. Biggie snores, and I just wanted to know that's snoring. I've been talking to a lot of people around here. It could

drive someone crazy. What about when you're just about to fall asleep and then snoring starts, and then you're like on that snoring rhythm and it's the only thing you can think about. It's like a dripping faucet, and you expect it to come, like you expect the snoring to start. What about that? What about all the devices? A girlfriend of mine, her husband had the surgery to get rid of the snoring, and she said it didn't work. Another

one of my friends said it did work. Uh. A lot of women I know sleep on couches, sleep in other beds, sleep in their kids beds. Can we talk about snoring just in general as a thing, like what is it? Why does it happen? Why is it more men? Um? Is there a cure for snoring? And what is your opinion on the reason. And someone's gonna say sleep apnea. I don't even know what that means. I've heard it so much, but it doesn't seem like it's a cure for that either. So I just want you to tell

me about your experience with snoring. Do you snore? Are you in a relationship with someone that snores? Um? Are you a good sleeper? Are you a person that if you don't sleep well, it will ruin your entire day? Because I can tell you something, I'm that person. I'm that person, and I'm that person that does not ever

want to take anything to sleep. I'm not a person that likes to medicate at all, so I'll drink like a glass of a half a glass of wine or vodka, and I don't I also don't want to do that. No one wants to be drinking alcoholic at night just to go to sleep. So it's an absolute ship show. Sleep as it pertains to snoring and how grouchy you get when you don't sleep. It defines my entire life. Some people don't like when they wake up and they

feel bloated, or the scale says something that they don't like. Well, for me, my whole thing is about sleep. If I didn't sleep, everybody has to hear about it. My daughter and my dogs tend to get really close to me and want to like wedge me in like their bookends that are like made of boulders, and I feel suffocated and I want to just nudge everybody and and it doesn't work because when people are sleeping, they're not obviously responsive, and it makes me very very frustrated. I just get

very very frustrated. I want a little bit of my space, the temperature, I just like it to be chilly. I like it to be chilly. They say it optimum temperature is I think it's like sixty eight or something like that. There's an optimum temperature and it's lower than people think. Sixty eight I think is correct. Sixty nine I think it's correct. There's an optimum sleeping temperature. I posted on social media asking listeners to submit their own questions. It

was great hearing from you. The Q and A is and my speaking engagements are always the best because so much comes out in what you want to know, and to share those questions with others really seems to be beneficial. So let's jump in and try. Chaia on Instagram asks what is your advice for someone who feels stuck in their job and wants to jump to pursue a dream, but it's afraid of not having a steady income. You know,

it depends upon someone's age and circumstances. I think if I think, as we get older, we get more dug into our circumstances. We have more bills, we have more homes, we have mortgages, we have obligations, we have kids, we have school, we have car payments, insurance. So as you get older, I can't just tell someone to just light there for one k on fire and go get a job as a bartender. You know, you have to have

some sort of a plan. So if it's somebody like that, I think you have to get your ducks in a row. And I don't know about having a side hustle because they usually don't work, but sort of find some way to test the market, and and and and ride two horses at the same time for a brief period to see if if it seems like good idea, go with your gut. If you really think you can be successful at it, or you think this other idea is really worth it, and people around you are honestly supporting you,

you have to jump. The pandemic is a great time to do that because so many people have been dear stuck in headlights just waiting for this to be over, versus shifting and moving in a different direction and going with the tides. You can't fight the tides. You go out to swim, and you can't fight the tides. You have to sort of roll with them and not fight the ocean. So you have to deal with what's actually happening right now, and you'll find a whole new set

of positive circumstances. In an unfortunate situation. If you're young and you don't have the responsibility of kids, and you have some disposable income, or you just would be living on raman im pretzels, I would say, just go for it. It's in your gut, it's bothering you. The urge will get stronger. You only have more regrets later as we get older and you realize you didn't try. Related to that, when how do we know when it's time to quit a job? I would say, like a relationship, it's not

bringing out the best in you. It's not a good dynamic. You're not feeling good about yourself. You're not liking who you are there. You don't feel that it's where you should be. It's you know, I had a very serious I had so many people tell me not to leave the housewives because of the amount of money that I was being paid. You really have to look in the mirror and you have to decide on your own, between you, yourself and you what to do. It didn't reflect who

I was, what I wanted. I couldn't keep sort of you know, explaining to myself that I was different than this genre, but still there. There comes a point where if you shouldn't be there, you just shouldn't be there, and you have to just know that what's right and wrong for you, or if it's not um it has nothing to do with what you ultimately want to do, what you're passionate about. You're on the wrong road. So people do that in relationships, people do that in life.

They get in the wrong car because who cares. It looks shiny, it looks cool, the person driving it looks great. You get in all of a sudden, you're like, I saw the sign that this bus was going to Milwaukee, and I wanted to go to San Diego, and I got in any way, because once you get in, you could go on. You could go down different roads. You know, different things happen, and while that can be good and positive in a journey, you also should understand the road

that you are embarking on. So be serious and treat yourself well and make decisions based on truth and not fear. Another question if Van Underscore loves Underscore Austin on Instagram. I was recently watching Old Housewives episodes. How has money made your life better more difficult? You're such a hustler. I am too, So I appreciate that. Does money give your value self worth? If so or not? Has that changed over the years. What a good question. That's so complicated,

So money, huh. You know, I was in my late thirties and broke, and it was scary because I don't have any kind of safety net. I didn't I don't have families. So even if someone comes from a middle class or blue caller or background, having a safety net of whatever your parents net snag or your brothers or sisters or somebody to help you always can help you exhale a little bit, like you're not feeling traumatized and suffocated.

So for me, it was extremely scary to be in my late thirties not knowing my job was going to be, not have a career, and just be like this is not going to be cute. So the stakes were high, and it was anxiety producing the fact that that was like thirteen years ago and I was broke and now I can pretty much do whatever I want and buy whatever I want and have houses and all this stuff is crazy. But I will say it gets way more complicated and the stakes are so much higher now in

a different way, like your business investments. Your business mistakes are much bigger you your financial decisions, your real estate, your mortgage. Having so many different people working for you, having sort of like a machine, and the machine can

get really expensive. So if something happens, like a pandemic, and you're not and you leave television because you don't feel that it reflects who you are and what you want to do with your life, and you're doing things for yourself morally, but financially, I still have this infrastructure of all these employees and all these people and all these partners and all these obligations. So everything costs money.

And sometimes you're breaking even a lot of times I'm breaking even I'm working so hard and have so many people working for me. I'm not making money. Other people are making money. I'm not making money. And because you get entangled in it, and sometimes you have to dig yourself out and you know you're working so hard that you want to spend because what's the point of working so hard if you can't do what you want and

buy what you want and go on vacations. And it's just I call it a nut, it's a burn rate. It's what you're spending every year. You have to kind of know what that is. And I have business managers who helped me with that. But it gets gnarly and it gets scary, and you think people are taking advantage, and they are, and that's partially a reflection of being a public person, but they are, and you just kind of sometimes you want to go back too simple and simplify.

And actually, during the pandemic, that's what I've been doing. I've you know, I'm selling an apartment in New York City because I'm not there that much and it doesn't reflect where I really am in my life. So even though that's a stunning, amazing, beautiful apartment, it's a different

lifetime and there's a lot of money. So streamlining, getting rid of things, luxury bags and stuff that I've had for years, just trying to simplify and not have so much, not even financially, but the stuff aspect of it, the clutter aspect of it, it can be debilitating. And we all saw that during the pandemic. We were home and we were organizing and seeing all our stuff, but we were online ordering and so, you know, getting rid of stuff, but buying different stuff and all of it becomes like

a stuff fest. So having money, uh is liberating, but it's also complicated and entangling in different ways. So if you do make money, or if you're trying keep yourself under control and stay simple as long as you possibly can, because it gets complicated real fast, and you think you can afford to do things, and you have to spend money to make money, and then you're in this whole web. So I love that question. It was a long answer, but it's important. The quote some people are so poor

all they have is money. Thoughts on this, Yeah, I mean, obviously it's just the cliches. Money is not going to keep you warm at night. I always think about the fact that if I'm sitting in the last fight on an airplane, basically sitting in the toilet bowl, I've never cared if I was with my daughter Bryant. I watched the show Made and saw this woman sleeping in a fairy station, but she's with her daughter, like to be together with your family. I've seen this in Puerto Rico

while doing relief work. People have lost everything and they're basically living in sewage, but there with their babies and they have their faith, and that's really the most important thing. You know, the feeling you have when you buy something and it's great for a minute and it goes away. And you know the feeling when you're hugging your kids and you just have a memory, or in Christmas or Halloween or some loving snuggle and there's nothing like that.

We know that they always keep this in mind as I continue to level up in life, I want to be so rich, not only have puckering pockets. That way you use your wealth is inspiring, and oh the way I use my wealth is inspiring and rare. I'm not perfect. I'm a spender. I like lucks goods. I have a

complicated relationship with it, the stuff of it all. But I love doing philanthropy more and I it's important to me to give back in a meaningful way that I've really made an impact, that I've actually saved lives, that I've helped people, that I do the work, that I've put the time in, that I spend the stress and aggravation and focus on it. So there's got to be some sort of a balance. Meredith underscore kegan managing finances personally and professionally. I have someone at Merrill Lynch who

helps me with that. You have to be proactive because they never call you. They're just reactive. You ask them what's going on, and they just answer what you're asking. I happen to have a business manager, but that's more for day to day bills. And people get scared of stuff like that because people have been stolen from and have horror stories. I think you have to know what you know and know what you don't know. I crowdsource. I ask people around me, and I go with my

gut because I don't know so much. So someone will tell me you should be refinancing, or you should think about this with taxes, or you do so many hs and things in what in your house is the part of that should be rite off? Or you just constantly It's so much information before oh one k your will, your insurance, your employers insurance, your employments insurance, your health insurance, like your workers comp your benefits, all of it. Refinancing

I mentioned before car payments. It's it's not you could be stuck in it. So you have to. If you can't afford a business manager or have a money manager, you know, ask your bank, or ask your friends, ask your father, your daughter, your sister just crowdsources information and do research online. It's all accessible. Listen to Jim Kramer, listen to Susie Orman, watch the news. You know, there's so much there. I'm terrible at it. Advice on starting

over and reinventing yourself. We're all constantly doing that, even if it's within the frameworks of where you work. You can decide to wake up the next day and change I or you can start a whole new career. Go with your gut and treat it like a marathon, one step at a time or one you know, one foot at a time, one sneaker at a time. For me, I reinvent. I decided to look at the people around me. I want to evolve. I want to be nicer, I

want to be more positive. I fail all the time, but I wake up and you know I wanted today. I said I was going to go on an elliptical because I've worked out a month, and I honored that commitment. And I'm going a shower in the morning and put on an outfit, even if it's not like cute, it's not pajamas, and it's something like just these little moves that I'm trying to do to reinvent myself all the time, reinvent myself in my relationship, reinvent myself as a mother

to a tween. Uh. She's been going through it in certain areas, and I was up all night till four in the morning thinking about her and thinking about my team, and had to be better and had to be a better parent. So constantly reinventing ourselves. It doesn't have to be a drastic move, but it can be advice on being a manager and working with people. Ah, do don't ask me, I suck. Be organized, be communicative, face the problem, delegate, execute, be clear, spend a lot of time energy and focus

on staffing. Start over, keep going, go back to the root of it. It sucks. It's hard to staff. It's hard to find good people. I've found it a constant challenge, especially as a public person in this business that's so varied. I would say that you you it's like a family. If you don't get your team right, you're only as good as your weakest link. It's literally one member team team is down. The whole team is down. I've started

daily team calls, weekly check ins. Take everyone's temperature, try to be positive, Try to be appreciative and get feedback and do the best you can and go with God, pray for the best. This is dantable rolling on Instagram and at danta be coaching on Twitter friendship, So I have to invite everyone to everything. How do you not hurt feelings? Oh my god? Well, I have a sort of guy who's a therapist slash life life coach. He doesn't believe in obligations like that to your family, to

your kids, obviously. He doesn't believe in doing things you don't want to do. I just had a birthday party for my fiftieth birthday? Does it do over? And I had twenty three people. This is how I would do a wedding. This is how I do anything. I always say to my daughter when she's having a birthday party, I'm not gonna invite nineteen people and leave four people in a classroom out, obviously, but I say to her, who do you really want there? This is your time,

this is your birthday party. If it's four people in a friend group, then you've left out a fifth person and then she's gonna have problems at school. Then she can make that decision, But we start off with who do you really want to be with. So my birthday party was, and I said this in my speech, nobody was there that I didn't want there. Nobody was there. There was an obligation I don't do. Aunt Irma's daughter and her new boyfriend have to be there because Aunt

Irma will be upset. I'd rather not have the party if I'm worried about aunt Derma. I want good energy. I want people in a space that genuinely want the best for me, that I feel will connect with each other. And you can explain it to people, or you don't have to. I don't care about that. And by the same token, and my whole life on Housewives was a series of scenes about people being upset that they're not included. They're not invited to each each other's thing. You don't

support me, I didn't support you. What I can't believe it in invite or you're not. I don't care. I don't want to be invited unless you really want me there and unless I and I don't want to go, unless I really want to be there. I believe in good and positive energy. You have to just be a strong person, and you can't don't listen to the noise. If you don't do it right, or don't do it so you don't have to have the event, you don't

have to have it. But if you're having it, have it the way that you and your child and or your partner want to have it. That's my serious advice and I live by it. So if Paul and I decided to have some sort of elaborate wedding on any level, it's going to be the way that we both want it. But I won't do obligation weddings. I won't do Oh, you gotta invite that person because you work with them. I just wanted to be we really want them there. That's the only way to go. Thank you. I like this.

This is fun. We should do this more often. Please rate, review, and subscribe. Watch out for more questions. Post more questions. I love answering them, and I think it's good for all of us to sort of get a different perspective on something you might not even know, something something you might not have even known. You want to know the answer to have a terrific day. I appreciate you loving all of the twists and turns of this podcast is taking. Thank you so much.