Just B Rant: You’re Not Alone

saying that he's convicted of raping multiple women. And then started seeing headlines about Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher, which I'm now learning made the convictions bigger, like they brought more attention to something that might have gone away in a few days. They got killed and dragged because they wrote a letter to a judge to reduce a sentence, along with Billy Baldwin and some other people, because Danny

Masterson's mother asked this of them. I don't I know that Ashton was a very close friend of Danny Masterson, maybe a best friend. They've worked together, they ran together, they dated girls together. They were in the same bro pack that I guess I'm now hearing at tof for Grace, who I love and interviewed, was not in So people are speculating as to why Mila and Ashton would get involved.

And I initially thought, I understand why the mother reached out, and I initially I didn't think that deeply into it, thought, oh, he's kind of reaching out because maybe his friend he believes will have been punished and suffered and pay the price. And I kind of like almost understood it. I wasn't really paying that much attention. And then I humanized it and personalized it daughters of mothers and future mothers, and like I was with Paul and he was reading it

to me, and I thought, what the hell. I started digging down into the timeline and then thinking about them, thinking about this guy free for all of these years, with a kid and a wife, going to Starbucks, living his free life for twenty years while they knew this, and they were, or at least some of them were, in scientology and kind of being told they would handle it behind the scenes and not through law enforcement, and that they had one of them had to meet with

Danny Masterson and it was all like hush hush, and

it's so Hollywood, hush hush. It's like very Harvey Weinstein, very nda, very paid people off, very belittling, very entitled Hollywood money man, power, and like, I got really angry, and it triggered me, and it made me think of so many things in my own life and in my own childhood that I've never discussed, and I would if I were those And I didn't know how rare convictions are, but of course they are, because it occurred to me how often people won't even say something because they know

no one will believe them, And then if someone does believe them, which they won't, or belittles them, how are they going to prove it? How are they going to

get a conviction? And then I started hearing about how rare it is to get a conviction, the odds of getting a conviction, and that like, then these girls who are human beings, who were raped and held a gunpoint and drugged with vomiting their hair, that they saw a conviction and after all these years they feel a validation and a freedom and a vindication after having to suffer with this man paying no price, and with his wife and then his wife's siblings husband Billy Baldwin, because Shina

Phillips is married to Billy Baldwin and China is Biju Phillips, Danny's wife's sister, I know that was long winded, but who cares? But so writing letters and this guy just walk in the streets and then they have to hear this really powerful couple that like are an architectural digest and have hundreds of millions of dollars who were part of his bro pack write letters to like belittle the sentencing and what they went through. It's effectively belittling that.

It's a belittling the justice system that they fought so hard to make work for them, that they thought would never work for them, and that they were in the scientileogy culled it all is crazy. So Lea Remedy wrote, spoke out, and then I thought about what she said, and when Christina Ricci said about just because these douchebag grows that are sometimes nice to us doesn't mean that

they're not pieces of shit. And if I were those girls, I'd want him to die and suffer and rot, not just like go to jail, but to suffer, and every day I'd want him to suffer more like that's the truth, not really any compassion, just complete wanting him to suffer. And so and I know that because I was and this is I need to put a period at the end of the sentence and start a new sentence. I

was abused for ten years. I was emotionally, verbally, mentally tortured, hundreds of emails to the point where there was a TRORO, there was an arrest, and for years lawyers and people said, well, you know, I don't think he can prove it because he's not like putting cigarettes out on you, and it's just that someone being a complete asshole and a dick. It ruled my life. It ruined my life. It doesn't

matter that I had money. You can't make judges move more quickly or lawyers do things more quickly because you have money. And if you have family involved in a situation, you have to tread more lightly than if you're just a normal solo person. And you get put on gag orders. People use like gag orders so you can't speak and NDAs so you can't speak and say things that have

happened to you. And many people, including myself, get intimidated and think that like, you can't speak your truth about what's happening to you because there'll be some sort of ramifications, and you have to be able to speak your truth if you're being abused, and I don't know why. I was told by so many successful lawyers that I had to keep quiet about certain things happening to me because

I was under an NDA and a gag order. And it's like an abusive power And often when a person isn't doesn't have MONE and they're dealing with someone who does, it's often the person who feels like they're not in the power position, so they'll do anything and by any means necessary, get the power position. I've been told, you're ugly,

you're old, you're a hag, you're disgusting. I've had a person crawl into bed next to me and stare at me and refuse to get out and do and follow me and hack me and email ad nauseum people around me to the tune of multiple seas and desist And had to get law involved in hundreds and hundreds of abusive emails and texts and anti semitism and just abuse and taunting and trauma and in front of you know, there's certain things I don't want to say because of

my position as a parent, but like real mental trauma. And I had notebooks with sections, different sections about different types of abuse, and I was extremely organized and had copious notes, and I did it myself. I got that all together. I got that all organized, and I was threatened and I took it to the police, and it went all the way to the district attorney, and it was a tro and it was an arrest, and I

was abused. And I don't talk about it enough because it helps people to know that someone like me, who has power and influence and money, was tortured and tortured because I'm a public person, and that I would be that this person would have me in a corner crying and my publicers would be crying because blackmail and took all these emails that were hacked into that we're going

to use against me, Like it was a nightmare. And the reason I say this is that I know that some of you know this that like it affects you for years after, like you have a like a flint reflex. You think like there are certain things that you were told to you about how disgusting you are, and how like certain things that when someone abuses you for so long, you kind of even though you know it's wrong, it's been repeated so many times that you like feel like

it's true. And it's the upside down also, where you just you're trained to be treated a certain way and told that, and then you have inability to trust other people. You're just always waiting for someone to fuck you over and be abusive, and you really have a lack of

ability to trust. And I grew up in a household where I've seen like wrist slashing, the cops at my house all the time, a woman be dragged down the hall and beaten with a phone, you know, and called the sea word, and had you know, knife fights and punching of fists through glass and like just crazy stuff that I've seen, like really bad. I've seen guns. I've had the mafia chasing after members of my family, like I've seen cocaine use and like gambling to another level.

And I never say it out loud, Like the way I was raised is despicable. I shouldn't have been at nightclubs at thirteen. I shouldn't have been alone. Yeah, at nightclubs. I shouldn't have been alone with men that work as gamblers or jockey agents or bookies at the race track as my caretakers. I should That puts you in a sexual position that is not appropriate. And will damage you for the rest of your life. And I shouldn't have been dropped off with horse grooms to live at their

house for weeks to come. I shouldn't have seen violent physical abuse to the point where it would end up in hospitalization. And then you'd see the same two people having sex and hear it and be around it. Like if this stuff fucks you up the rest of your life, like sexually, emotionally, all of it. Like, it's just we are such fragile yet also strong and survivor creatures, but you have to fight. And the fact that these women had to fight for themselves. They had to go and

prove it. It was on them. It was on them, the burden of proof of them to provide emails and evidence and and and people they told and what happened that night and vomit and drugs and guns, and like they had to prove it. I'm sure many people said they were sluts and liars and all the shit, and that the guy that, oh, but he's just a bro, he's just a player. He's just like all the shit. It's just the onus is on us, and it's often women,

and it's it's it's a nightmare. But you stay the course, you be organized, you have your shit and you pull it together, you figure it out, and there is a way to get justice. And they got justice. So I was wrong to think that it made sense that a mother was gonna call Ashton and Mila. I put the whole puzzle together, and I was dead wrong, and I didn't know so much. So it was at one time on social media where I really did experience a dialogue

and a conversation and learned a tremendous amount. I was in a relationship where my daughter and I were in a room when a family member overdosed on oxy and dinner just went just continued as if nothing had gone wrong. The person dropped dead, went to hospital, dropped dead. Shortly thereafter, we found out that another family member had been arrested by the FBI for being on underage girl pedophile sites.

And I kept all of this in when wanting this to be something that wasn't to be around my child, and I just felt like I was stifling things because of a gag order. And it's hard when you have a child to talk. My daughter doesn't listen to my podcast, my daughter doesn't read headlines, thank God, But like, there's I'm sure many of you have been in situations with really challenging divorces, abusive situations, and you keep your fucking mouth shut when you know you shouldn't because you should

be a person who uses your voice. But using your voice isn't always easy because you have other elements. You have family members, you have maybe parents. People protect people protect parents that abuse them, People protect spouses or ex spouses because of kids. Like, there's a million reasons why people don't speak up. You guys are so right when you say it's not that easy to speak out. It's

actually true. It's not easy because also you'll be criticized, scrutinized, you go on you go on trial, and you have lawyers. Then look at your character. So you wore a provocative top and hold hell, the cocktail means you weren't raped, Like, what the fuck? It's crazy. A lot has provoked me lately, A lot has provoked me. This seems unrelated, it's not in the same category. But that girl with Quel was a person who cheated with a guy on a friend

it happened, then she was emotionally abused. Like that doesn't make that okay. Either like there's just so many things that are not okay, and I don't know why that this like show, this podcast and interviews and something has like broken me open lately, and I just feel like I'm I'm not fully speaking my entire truth just because I'm treading lightly. But I couldn't sleep last night. I've been going to bed really early, and then last night

I was up till twelve. And it's something about this Masterson thing and something about Christina Ricci like dipping in and talking like about abuse adjacent to hers. Like we're these women that are sort of like dabbling in it, and we just we're not ready to just like open our mouths and fully be about it because we have to understand why, because not everything needs to be said. But there's just like if it could help girls know that, like you got to fucking fight for it, open your mouth,

take the heat, take the beating. It's worth it. You could get a conviction, a vindication. But it takes a lot of work and it takes fortitude. And so it's correct that entitled celebrities asking for a reduction would be

a complete violation. I get that, And then you watch these videos going down this rabbit hole of Ashton Kutcher saying that he and the skuy Danny had a side bet that he, who was nineteen years old, would French kiss me Lacunis on the show, and they're all joking about it, And I have a thirteen year old daughter and they're joking about it because different shit was okay back then. Different shit was okay back then, where like it was okay to say nice twins to somebody at

an office about her tits. And you have any idea how many producers have tried to sleep with me, how many of my fathers, my father's horse trainer friends have tried to sleep with me, have groped me, have actually done inappropriate things to me as a young girl. That like that was a different time, Like you just kept your fucking mouth shut. And that's why me too was so entirely powerful. There's a reckoning in many areas. So it was you know, black lives matter and me too.

It's not over. It doesn't mean, oh yeah, we got through that thing where like white men were the devil and the enemies, and we like now we're onto a new thing, Like no, we're going deeper. It's not fucking okay. So it wasn't okay for two celebrities and I was wrong, And it's not okay for a girl to be abused emotionally on national intelligence, on national television, you know, and people profit off of it. Sorry, it's not it's not. When I started this podcast, I said, I checked my

bank account. I'm good. I have a voice, I have a microphone, and my bank account. The checks have cleared. So if I go down, I'm going down in a fucking blaze of glory having said my truth and not just stifling myself all the time for fear of cancelation. And you signed up for this. These people didn't sign up for all this shit. If you're being abused and

you're being treated poorly, you're not. You didn't sign up for it, no matter what, no matter what you wanted, no matter what fame you wanted, no matter what money you wanted, no matter what, you didn't fucking sign up for it.