Oh god, I have not been sleeping. Let's talk about sleep and lack thereof. So some people when they work really, really hard, they get really exhausted and they sleep. Some people exercise a lot or do run a marathon or something, and they sleep. I am the opposite. If I am working really hard and doing a lot, I don't sleep because I have two speeds on or off. So if I'm activated, I'm on and I could wake up after three hours sleep, which has happened for three weeks. Sleep
for three weeks straight. I'm not kidding, like three to four hours sleep. I'll wake up at three o'clock in the morning for the day. You know that feeling like you're praying for a five you pray. I mean this morning I got a four forty four, and I was excited.
That's how sad it is.
Like you wake up and it's a three, and you're like, we are all fucked and it's anxiety and the next day is coming. And yesterday I was doing all this press for be strong, and I woke up with a three, and I was such a bitch the whole day. I was in such a mood the whole day because I hadn't slept in like three weeks, and then in the afternoon I kick in and I'm awake again, Like it's hard to get to your body doesn't even know it's
a sleep because you're so on adrenaline. And the night before I was off of a red eye, So the night before I slept like three hours on the plane and then one hour at home. And what happens is I get excited for that go back, Like the one hour at home. I don't even care that I only slept three hours. I just want to go back, and like some more, I get grateful for a nap, but you nap and then you fuck it up, and then you nap and then you can't sleep the next night.
But if i'm once, I start sleeping.
Like let's say I'm like it's a weekend and it's been days. Same way on a vacation. I can't lean into a vacation until a couple of days. It's like taking a steak out of the freezer and defrosting it. Like it doesn't happen instantly. So I get to a vacation, and if it's a five day vacation, two days in
I start to like unwind. So what will happen is at some point I'll be relaxing, and that'll be relaxing next day, and then I'll start melting into sleep and I'll be sleeping a lot, falling asleep on the couch every second, falling asleep while watching TV.
I just have hon or off.
It sucks and I don't do well with drugs like I just zolpidem is zambient. I tried to take a half of it during this three week non sleep, and I didn't realize it the next day and my heart was palpitating.
I was dehydrated, dizzy.
And I fainted like I passed out in my kitchen. I was on the floor. I could not get my equilibrium. It seems like poison to me. It is, honestly, it's so strong, and the film is on you the whole next day, and you're cranky and irritable.
And I remember it from when I had.
My talk show because I was in activation mode and I had to be up at six in the morning every single day, and you're it's two o'clock in the morning and you're having anxiety because you know you haven't slept, and it's it's the absolute worst.
So I don't do well with drugs, and they don't even work.
They're like sleep edibles, the melatonin, the magnesium. If you aren't sleeping, nothing really works. Like if you're kind of in a decent sleeping phase, then something will work. So but I also have gotten somewhat better just saying like, except that you're not going to sleep, and then at some point you will sleep.
You know.
A guy once said to me about his kid who wasn't potty trained yet. He's like, I just don't think my child's gonna walk down the aisle at its wedding with a diaper on, so I think we'll be fine. So I don't come from a long line of sleepers, and I get anxiety thinking like, oh my god, am I gonna look old? Or am I gonna die because I don't sleep. But then they talk about people like Martha Stewart or I think it's Diane Sawyer that sleep
like four hours at night. People are wired differently, So I'm not a big sleeper, but I think that I don't do myself any favors. Let's explain why looking at the phone past a certain hour that's gonna get you activated, Looking at the screen, looking at emails.
Sometimes something will happen.
I've dated people from another coast, And let me explain why that's not great. Say there's a discussion at night, or you're talking about something and something comes in and for you, it's ten o'clock and you look at it. Now you're engaged, it's gonna be involved in your sleep. Or if something's unresolved at work, it's gonna be in your sleep. So you have to try to not do that. And of course I break it every second. That's like saying try not to eat sugar or dairy or something.
It's ridiculous. And but what I did do is I bought a clock for my bedside for for I have different homes, and sorry to be unrelatable, but I happen to have different homes, and.
I got a clock for the bedside.
So when I go to bed, I just started this, take the phone and put it in the other room. And last night I did that and I slept I think five out I slept six hours, which to me is like sleeping twelve hours right now.
So that's where I stand with that.
And like I put the magnesium spray on my feet and I use a neck heated pillar. I have like a neck warming cabinet, almost like the nail salon, and I have this thing that has herbs in it. Sometimes I'll put like those foot things on that I'm like supposed to pull out toxins, like detox footpads. I have no idea if they work, but once in a while they make me sleep hard. I'm actually going to do that tonight. I'm trying. I try to be intentional about it.
I absolutely suck at it. It is not I wouldn't have. The other day, I was talking about philanthropy and I was saying being able to raise I've just raised three million dollars in a week for California fires, and I was saying, that's like a superpower. I'd rather have that than flying. I can't honestly say I'd rather have that than sleeping. I can't think of another superpower that I
would want more than sleeping. I would pay I would hand you like millions of dollars right now if you told me that I could sleep anytime I wanted, Like if you told me I could sit on a plane and just on command, like snap, almost like those hypnotists that snap in the audience, just I would pay it right now. I would not drain my bank account. But there isn't There's a lot that I would pay to
be able to sleep. So and sometimes I can't, I haven't slept, and I will go get a massage during the day, like my nil salon, just to be able to sleep. There it's like paying for sleep. It's like like if sleep were a hooker, I'd pay for you know what I mean, Like I'm like paying. I'm like, I need to release to sleep, So I want to pay you to put me to sleep. Someone that I know, this guy Mark, who I with last night, who listens
to this podcast. So hi, Mark said to me that I was in the pocket right now, and I really am. And there's never been something I'm more in the pocket about than be strong. And I did Gail King today
and it was so it felt so clean. I've lived in this land of like junk food media, of like talking about crap and people caring about my relationships or stupid things, just gossip, dumb reality TVs show stuff like things I just don't care about, and there's no pep in my step, like when I'm talking about things that I think matter. So I was talking to Gail King. I was so excited to be invited. And she's such a legitimate journalist. She's not junk food journalism. She's so thorough,
she cares so much. She comes into your room for such a long time to talk to you ten fifteen minutes just to understand what you're talking about, to really convey. She has goals for the segment, not for her, for me, Like her goal isn't for her. She can't entertain no matter what. And I could talk about chicken, salad, caviare my nails, my daughter, anything, and she'll do well. But she really wants me to get across the message about philanthropy.
And that really just made me feel whole. And it also made me feel whole to sit to talk to someone so accomplished and so smart for fifteen minutes plus the seven that the segment was and know every inch of what I'm talking about. There's no ember has no clothes, Like every centilla of what Beestrong represents what we're doing, who we're partnering with, what my strategy was, how much money we've made, what the goal is, what the problem is.
Like I just feel I'm so confident it's like you walk into a test and like you're gonna get every single answer right because you just live it and know it by heart.
And so it feels really good.
And then I did another show about the Aramez Burkin and the Walmart Burkin, which is not about bags. It's about class warfare, which I've discussed.
With you guys.
It's about the people being fed up about elitism and just luxury and money. Like it's just not that error anymore, that era has passed. Another thing about the California fires and dignity is that someone I know brought up to me recently. It's bringing up a lot of discussions about fast fashion. You have landfills and you have football fields
filled with clothes. And now I saw one of the guys from Summerhouse or one of those Southern charm talking about until tonight, we need you to come in and get this close, like because they're at some version of a shelter or somewhere with all kinds of stuff. People don't want it. They don't have any place to put it. They don't want it, they don't want o clothes, Like, stop it now, it's got to stop. But the fast
fashion is meeting. People really want to just get rid of their clothes, just dump their clothes out of their closet. I even saw by the way I saw an actor. I can't think of what show he's from, but I saw an actor totally using my line about dignity and charity and we want to give gift cards to give them dignity. Like he literally was using my script and I invented the cash card model for charity. They gift cards is a cousin of that, but even that was
never really done. It was kind of done sometimes, but not in a very organized manner. And it was funny to see an actor on his socials and get such praise for literally saying everything I say and I have been saying about dignity in charity and giving people the cards to have the dignity.
It's just funny.
I definitely was the first person to bring that up, and it's interesting to see other people mentioning it. Let's talk about relationships and things that can be red flags.
So if you are a person who has the light and you start to feel someone dimming your light, or you start to feel yourself gatekeeping certain things like let's say you start to feel your stuff, not talking about great things that are happening for you because you feel like it'll make the other person feel bad, or in some cases, it can be not saying things you're doing
because you think they'll be jealous. Or if you find that you can't openly share things that should be very normal and that someone should be happy about, then you have to look at that because that does happen a lot. Haven't you experienced that where you're trying to take care of the other person and make them feel better and you're not being taken care of.
And I've also had the giving.
Tree syndrome where you're constantly giving, and in some cases someone can make you want to give, and it's very enticing when you're in a relationship and you love someone and you want to love and you want to give, like as much as it's great to take. Remember, gift giving is my love language. But by the way it's supposed to be, your love language is what you want, meaning you want to get gifts, And by the way, I like gifts, but gift giving is like the love
language I like to give. My language is to give gifts. Let's say that. So if I'm really in love with someone or really care about someone. Then it really makes me love to give. And in those instances I have the problem of wanting and expecting that person to give me at least half of what I'm giving. I never expect the same because I'm a big physical giver of material items. But I'm also a big giver of thought, like i'll i'll, I always think of everything, I think
of the people around the person. But also I'm very giving of love. You know, I've had people in relationships say to me, you're very loving. I'm not overly, like sappy or pushy about it, but I am. And what happens with some people who give a lot is it's the giving tree the book the giving tree, which is you have so many branches and one by one you just are giving, and it feels good to give. And yes, if someone's not giving as much as you, okay, that's
fine because you're a big giver. And you keep going, and you keep going, and with any luck for your own health or mine, you'll have no more branches and one day you will just not be able to give anymore. And it will shock the other person because they have taken so much and they have gotten used to this dynamic of you giving it. It's almost like the muscles weak for them to give back because they really don't have to. And then one day you just shut it down.
They come back to the tree and there is no giving to get there's nothing there. It's like you're just all cried out. You're just completely depleted. And when that happens, you become devoid and despondent and like kind of dead, like you're a dead tree. You're just it's done, there's nothing else. And it always surprises people. It's happened to me, and it's a great feeling because when you're dating or in a relationship, I feel that there's a tipping point
and it goes in both directions. Obviously people have a tipping point and the other party can't always see it. It sometimes happened that you're moving along and yes there are issues, there are red flex and one day you just have to hit the wall and it just all and you feel yourself along the way being like why am I dealing with this?
Why am I dealing with this?
I don't want to do it, And then one day you just break and you're done, and the other person is in shock because you've taken so much for so long. It's like, don't mistake my kindness for weakness, you know, that's what it is. And then one day.
The store is just closed.
And it's usually a circumstance where the store is closed and the other party is in complete shock, and they're trying to claw back and freaking out and worried and trying to rewrite history, and it's you know, usually too late. It's usually too late because you just have been broken down. So I find that to be a very interesting
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