Let's discuss the Tom Brady roast on Netflix. Brilliant idea, by the way, like genius, brilliant idea. I mean, and a roast is a dying art. Jeff Ross has been around forever and he's the roastmaster, and Lisa Lampinelli used.
To be big in the game.
A lot of the people are dinosaurs and aren't even doing it anymore. But Jeff Ross kind of owns that space. And many of you, none of you know, none of you know that I was on the dais at the Friars Club where the roasts all started. That's where this
whole craft started. They used to air the Friars Club roasts, and I was on the dais and I roasted Betty White and ahead of time, and there was a lot of people who were on TV who were there, and I mean everyone was fam I mean obviously Betty White was there, and Barbara Walters was there, and I think it was Gilbert.
Godfried was there. A lot of people were there.
And I was paired with a writer ahead of time, and I ended up giving away the right just saying I don't want to write or I want to write for myself because I just that's just not my style. I can't imagine someone that gave what I would want to say. So I wrote for myself and I have it somewhere. It's up in my memorabilia. It's on a DVD.
And I landed it. I stuck the landing so much so that Jeff Ross and I got to know each other since then because he said, wow, that was really good, Like I had never done anything like that, and it
was nerve wracking. It was a massive room, a ballroom at the Friars Club with real comedians and I was getting up there to do it and we got roasted all so Lisa Lampinelley I think, was there that night, and unless I'm mistaken, but anyway, so I stuck the landing for sure, and it was super funny, and even Barbara Walters gave me a compliment, like Betty White gave me a compliment. And it was funny because one of the things was like how far do we go? Like how much are we going to go?
There? Because I think she was ninety at the time.
If I'm not mistaken, it could have been eighty, but I think it was ninety and we went all the way and it's funny because that is a dying art. And the Tom Brady Rose they went all the way like twenty twenty four. People don't go all the way anymore. No one goes all the way. Nikki Glazer took chances, and I texted her, you stuck the landing.
She left no crumbs, but like the.
Other gentleman, and I'm annoyed that I don't know his name, because that's not giving him his flowers, which she deserves. There was the guy who made the whales Vagina joke about the Kardashians.
He was talking. He had the longest bit.
It seemed like of the clips I saw because I haven't watched the whole thing yet because i'm saving it and savoring it, I might have mortarantom and I see the whole thing, so I apologize. But he let he ate that thing, and he wasn't scared.
He was you know.
I mean, they were talking about shit that's totally inappropriate, and it was great that Netflix is airing it, and it was just a throwback to like when people said what a fuck they wanted, and like that dying art of true comedy wasn't dead because everyone's afraid. But I will say that this has nothing to do with not going there, going there on Gizelle repeatedly by many people. I think was a low hanging fruit mistake. Like, you know, my friend was like she thought it was really what
was the word she said, It is cheesy. I don't remember what she said, but like we didn't love that, Like it wasn't necessary to go after her multiple times, throw in a couple of swipes.
It was his wife.
But it became like the main thing about him was his divorce, Like let's talk about him, let's talk about him on the field, in the locker room, whatever, you know, But talking about his divorce as the main thing is low hanging fruit.
I didn't like that.
It's not fair to her, Like someone has to have a heart about that, Like that's not she has nothing to do with this. She's not there de finding herself, she has nothing to do with this. She's not making money. Her kids can't love that.
It just was like whoa.
But what was interesting is that Tom Brady got visceral and went up and was like, do not make that joke again. Do not say anything about him again. When Jeff Ross made a massage joke about Robert Kraft. Tom didn't have any visceral reaction about his ex wife being dragged behind a car by everyone, but one comment on Robert Craft. He put his fucking lit up like a Christmas tree and ran up there. We haven't seen anything like that. That was like no meat left.
On the fucking carcass. Unbelievable.
And the Kim Kardashian thing. I guess she got booed for a while. Is that because of Taylor? Is that just because it's Boston? Is that because whatever? Because it happened to her somewhere else recently, A woe was heckling her like it's not you.
Know, it's it can't be easy.
I will say, I know that none of you are crying for her, but it can't be easy to like be booed then have someone stand up and scream like it's not And at the mecal she looked a little uncomfortable, like that's gotta that's you're gonna take a hit, you know, Listen, what goes up must come down if you're gonna be that famous, like you're gonna take hits. Sometimes it's just the nature of the beasts, like it's what, it's what goes on, you're gonna be in a car ride, somebody's gonna spill something.
So she's been in a long car ride. And that wasn't that great.
Netflix did delete it, which I guess people were like that they didn't want that taken out.
Does it add to the show? You know?
Her her bit wasn't It didn't land Like it was okay, but like it was such a group of craftsmen and craft women in there that her lines didn't really land. They didn't seem that inspired. Like it wasn't funny, but she's not funny. Like the things that she and her family does are funny, but she's not funny. So like
you're not supposed to expect it's funny. Because Dave Portnoy was saying he wished he was invited and he should have been invited because he is the Patriots and it shows about the Patriots and he's taught the biggest Tom Brady fan and all that stuff, and he wasn't invited, and he speculated that it was a Kim Kardashian reason like that. She said, fine, I'll do it, but not if he's doing it.
I don't think she was.
I don't think she's controlling Ted Sarandos and Netflix, you know, one of the top multi billion dollar companies in the world, and what they're doing.
I don't.
I don't think that's why he wasn't invited. He probably just wasn't invited. It's like, why wasn't I at the met Gala? Why because you weren't fucking invited? So like he just wasn't invited, like point blank. I think it's just like, I don't think Kim Kardashian's running Netflix's decisions, because I think Netflix runs the whole show, runs the rodeo in the world as much as Anna Winter runs
the Mechala. So that's very him to think that, like something that she's coming in and being like, here's my rider. I need black licorice, cashers, pop chips, Pellegrino, you know, and a fuzzy nice Kashmir card again in case something goes wrong with my wardrobe. But also Portnhard can't be invited. So that was so he said that, But he then they asked him to do an in the moment roast of Kim Kardashian on his show, and he thought he did great because he just trashed her. But that's not
a roast. A rose isn't trashing someone. A roast is being funny, like trashing someone while being endearing. Anybody could just say mean things about somebody. He does that every day and he could be on the Housewives doing that like a roast is a real like a crafted statement, no pun intended, a crafted statement that does skewer someone and roast them, but it's wrapped in laughter. Just you know, abusing someone is not just is not funny, but just
like wrapping in a laughter is funny. So the Giselle stuff was funny, but it's not funny because she's not the one being roasted, you know, and she wasn't even on the days. If she agreed to be there as one of the people, that would be different. So anyway, I thought they did a great job, really smart. I'm sure that they should start doing that for other people. That would be insane. Oh my god, I die to go to something like that. That looked so fun, but
I have to now watch the whole thing. Let's give Nicki Glazer her flowers. Nicki Glazer gets her flowers because she's a woman in a man's profession. In many cases, on the road shitty hotels, the whole thing, and she crushed it. And like I feel like landing that in that arena on that stage for Netflix with Tom Brady, like every all the pins are just like lined up, and she knocked them all down. And that can be
like a career builder. Like the other gentleman that I'm upset that I can't think of his name, because I'm gonna give him his flowers one of these days too. I'll mention it next time he that could like revive career in the same way that having an amazing gorgeous moment on the Mech Gala carpet could revive a career too. I mean, Jennifer Lopez has had a rough couple of months,
like it's not been the most fun for her. And I said to myself, she's gonna come and she's going to slay the day at the met gal And know whether you think she did or she didn't, you know, some people are talking about her hair and whatever. I'm sure you can't win for losing. But she came there with an outfit and her boat was showing through and she made a statement on the carpet and it can almost like rinse away all the drama. It's like thriving
and surviving. It's a reason why people would pay even if they had to. She didn't pay, But if she had to pay seventy five thousand a tickets, you bet your fucking ask she would. I mean her team would, and her company would, and her people would. But it would be worth it. You could be worth it. If someone called me tomorrow and said, give me seventy five grand you're going on the met Galic carpet. I'm gonna tell you the truth because I know you know I talk about drugstore lipgloss and.
All that stuff. I'm gonna tell you what I would. I'd pay the seventy five g's.
It could be if I landed a look, it could be like it could change, It could be a deal, or something interesting could come out of it. Like I don't know who I'd be sitting at a table. I always make a joke that I just want to land the look. It's not really totally true. I'd like to land the look and then just be at the table with who the business people are, because what happens at
the metcala is it's business tables. Like you know, big brands will buy a table, and the big brands will buy a table, but they have to let celebrities sit there. So if the right celebrity that's not like, you know, a giraffe looking around at everybody else, is sitting down, they're gonna go like, yes, let's sit and talk to the CEO of LREL. Let's sit and talk to CEO of Nordstrum or Apple or whoever the hell is there. Let's sit down and talk to Jeff Bezos. I mean,
you know, like, let's be that would be it. That's a room.
That's a room.
So that's the seventy five g's that I think it is minimum, But yeah, it's worth the seventy five g's for Jlo to go in there and rinse off what just happened?
Yeah, check. She could pay a million dollars to do that. Honestly, that would be worth it.