People over post their babies. There is such a thing as over posting your babies. Now. I know you're excited you had a baby. You're the first person that's ever had a baby. It's super exciting. Of course, it's wonderful. I love posting gifts from my daughter and with my daughter, and I do it fairly, sparingly, more than I used to. But what's happening now is social media posting of babies is becoming what used to be showing pictures in your wallet of your baby, which people also don't give a
shit about. Like, you had a baby, We are so excited, that is so adorable. Your baby does something so ridiculous and funny, is in some funny video spit all over its father, or is snuggling with the dog. We love it. But like, the daily posting of the baby is too much. We know we got it. We've had babies, we've seen baby, we've seen pictures of babies. It becomes a lot. And listen, I'm an overposter of the dogs and I have to stop myself, Like I'll post the dogs literally just for me,
ten times in a row, and it's like stop. The dogs are on the bed, the dog you're cuddling. They made a hard formation, like you're fucking annoying. It's annoying, so I have to intervene. I get it, but like the babies are even more annoying. A it's annoying people who don't have babies. They don't have babies. You're not like, yes, you're special, you're a miracle. You had a baby. A lot of people had babies. It happened. We get it, Basta. It's not every minute, all day, every day, and so
some celebrities like never stop with the baby. So we get it. We're happy for you, we love it. But just remember it used to be pulling out the big like wallet with all the pictures in it that like we're in like this accordion, and you'd show people would be like, nobody gives a fuck, we saw it. We know you're a baby. I'm almost about to be there, and you're gonna hate me because we passed this season. And I don't want to be a hater, but you can call me one the Christmas cards, the wasting of
the trees for all the Christmas card. I don't even know who these people are. Some people show up. It's like a waspy blonde family and all these sweaters and I'm just seeing like Christmas sweaters and trees in the back, and it's a blonde family. I don't know which family this is. It could literally sometimes it's my doctor. Sometimes it's the landscaper, the dog walkers, your fucking bank. I don't know. It's too many trees. I don't care. I'm sorry it may seem cold. I don't care. I don't
even care. And if it's my best friends, I fucking see you. I know who you are. I don't need the picture. I could, I could look at you. You could send me a picture for don't even pay for it. Just send it to me and I'll see it on Instagram if I want to, or you could like just text it to me. Leave me alone. I don't want to see any of it. I'm not interested. It's a waste of the opening with my gorgeous nails. It's the
fucking envelope. We didn't need the goddamn twenty nine cents or however much a stamp costs in twenty twenty four, and it's the paper and the trees. At the very least, fucking put it on evite, send me an evite Christmas card and if I want to open, if I don't, I won't, then you could do some and find out how many fucking people opened it. But I've had it. It's enough. I'm just now finishing and just like that.
And I've noticed some things in it that I wanted to discuss, but one of them and Darren Star made it. So it's been produced by a man and I've met him and he's lovely. In the show I thought was good. A lot of people criticize that show, and I know I'm late to the party, but I don't care. I liked it because it dealt with a lot of like real issues from like not just you know, gender and sexuality, but like menopause and like a lot of things, and like it's necessary. There's got to be a place for
women to watch that stuff. Not everybody's young. And you saw the plastic surgery and you saw the filler and you saw all that stuff, and that was great. But I'm most concerned about Carry Bradshaw's hangers. Carrie Bradshaw's hangers
are just not the hangers that she would have. They're like those plastic hangers that are loosely clear that have those little like openings on the top where you'd like put a little came saw string in and they'd sort of get hooked in and stuck, and they're like clunky, and they make that sound when they hit each other and they get entangled, and they have that little wire hook on the top, and I was just like absol
fuckingely not. She would definitely have either the flat looseight version of the huggable hanger, which is a lead and they do break. I have them. You don't need to do it. They don't twist on the top and they do break. But she would at least have a huggable hanger for at least volume in that closet. Like do better. I mean, there's no fucking way. These were like weird like department store hangers, like in a department store in
the eighties. Like even the department stores have probably gotten better. It's just like a hanger that comes into my house with a garment that gets sandwich you water online and when you order online, it gets sent and you just take it off and throw it away, Like we just waste the fucking plastic of that hanger. I don't need that. It's just like do better, she would never have those hangers. Never. God, I don't think I'm gonna be okay. I'd like to just do a shout out to Gwyneth Paltrow and the
Beckhams on starting the weird name trend. Just in general. I just want to say, you can name your child anything, Like you can name your child Corkscrew, Grommet. My child is named Grommet, my child is named felt Like, there's just nothing you can't name your child. And I'm just gonna say that Gwyneth and the Beckhams started it. That's it. Just a public service announcement about when the crazy name started.
Because the names I'm hearing from miss school my daughter's I don't even understand, Like I don't know what they're talking about. Like I want to name my daughter ring Light, it doesn't matter. Can name your daughter anything, and you want like Suction have My daughter's name is ring Light, Suction Fritter, that's her name. It's insane, Like the names have gotten so fucking crazy and it's a free for all. Now. Oh, during the Christmas holiday, you all missed that I have
a platinum vagina. I have a plata puss yep going through security with brin sweats like but not sweats that have like metal on the end of drawstring like it was leggings. It was a nice top that was like cashmere with a T shirt under it. Not one thing had anything, No underwear had anything, no metal, not a thing not metallic through the underwear. I've heard it all. Not the bracelet, not the jewelry. Nothing. Okay, go through security, beep, I have all the bracelets on. Go back. They're like,
it's not the bracelets. Go back through. Then behind me is the security like the X ray TV screen. And I look behind me and I'm not exaggerating, and the woman says to me, I didn't see the screen. Sorry. The woman says to me, I'm gonna have to search you there. I'm like what. I look over to the screen.
She points to the screen and it's that like body like the Cheerios person, the X ray person, And there's just a giant square you one side of you and then the other side of you, a giant square, perfect square over my vagina and the other square over my crack. And so I look over to my brin because this is main and Maine for her humor, and she comes over. She's laughing. I'm like, please take a picture. So I posted about it because the woman was like, I have to.
I have to, like, you know, whatever, search you I'm like, nope, okay, great, there's nothing there's like she's like just letting you know, I have to search. I'm like just letting you know. There's nothing up there, Like what would be up there, like a metal rod at my wazoo. Brin's crying and she's like, with something up there. I'm like, yeah, Brian, I put a metal dildo up my pussy before we
went to the airport. How's eighth grade going? Yeah? No, Like, there's nothing up there, but I and I posted it as just like something funny and it went viral. It was like easily over a million views, people talking about it. Oh International Platypus News, by the way, it was everywhere. It was all over the place, and I'm like, my I don't I feel different now? Like so I went into twenty four with a platinum pussy. If that's interesting
to you. It's a special, special, special pussy made of platinum, and I'm getting it insured. Why wouldn't I went through security Square Square search search. They thought I had fucking a mule for you know, platinum smuggling engagement rings into Aspen up by the way, no better place to smuggle engagement rings up your pussy than into Aspen. I know I'm gonna lose a lot of listeners today, and I apologize for that, but there's no better place. So many
gold diggers in Aspen needing engagement rings. I'm giving a discount cents on the dollar up the Wazoo