Okay, So the Martha Stewart Netflix documentary is out and I've seen people talking about it and I hadn't watched it yet, and it's so weird, like I forget all the stories I have. I honestly do people always hear me tell these throwaway stories. I'll focus on the most stupid thing, like a chicken salad sandwich for hours, and then I'll just throw away a story that my friends and colleagues or business people will be like, what the fuck are you talking about that hat? What do you mean?
Why don't you write a book like what you's talking about? Like it'll be something, and it could be about j Lo, about Ellen, about Cia, about anybody, about Brett Ratner, Jerry Bruckheimer, Kathy Hilton being Paris and Nicki's nanny, like all these fucking crazy stories. And so I'm thinking, like Martha Stewart. Everyone's talking about Martha Stewart right now. I have twenty stories about Martha Stewart, Like how am I not talking
about Martha Stewart. So basically, I just on TikTok was like telling little anecdotal stories about Martha Stewart, and people were like riveted, like oh, my God, give me the next part. So I'm gonna give you all of it in a little more here, because I guess people find it interesting to hear about Martha Stewart from my perspective, So let's go. Okay. So I am at a dinner with a group of people when I'm broke living in
a studio apartment in Manhattan. There used to be a place called Dossilvano, which was an Italian restaurant where a lot of fashion people used to go. It's on Sixth Avenue near Bar Pity, and it was a thing, and especially during fashion we could be crowded and the food was good. It just was a vibe. One of those things where like the owner is drunk all the time. He actually shares my birthday, which is interesting, which is today. So Silvana's birthday is November fourth. I remember. I think
it was him or was it his wife? No, I think it was him, And he would come out at the table and make everyone feel special while he clipped them with whatever bottle of wine he was selling them, or food or whatever. And basically it was good Italian food, but it was a vibe. So I was there with a group of people These were the dinners that I would always pray that, like it wasn't gonna be an even bill, like because I wouldn't eat that much because I was scared to eat that much because I don't
have to pay that much. But then somebody else would be ordering all this shit, and like we'd have to split it. You'd hope someone else was paying it, some guy was picking up the bill. I mean, I was fully broke, like I really didn't have any money. I couldn't afford to be going to these dinners, but I wanted to meet someone and wanted to date, and it was sort of like what you were doing. And I had some nice clothes and nice things from exes and
from you know, presents and stuff. So I was always sort of just like a sort of grifting, hustling, piecing it together, selling things like just finataling. So I think at this time I was a natural food chef. I had gone to culinary school. I was out of a relationship and engagement when I lived in Chicago, and I was living in New York City. And at this dinner, this group, and I believe Lizzie Grubbin was there, was friends with this group, but I believe Lizzie Grubman was there.
She her dad is Alan Grubman. Incidentally, he's Martha Stewart's lawyer. He's a big entertainment lawyer, like all like Madonna, I think, and Bruce Springsteen and like all the bigs. And I ended up being represented by them later, Grubman and Dursky and Shire. But his daughter, Lizzie backed into a bunch of people in a Mercedes SUV in the Hampton's and like heard a bunch of them and it was in the post every day. It was lawsuits. It was at a place called Conscious Point. It was a disaster, but
it kind of put her on the map. But she was back then a big deal in pr like a total like you know, New York City powerhouse, NEPO baby and went to bu And so we were at a dinner with her and her friend Lance, and they were talking about this TV show that was on and it was Donald Trump. I barely knew who Donald Trump was, like of course I'd heard the name, but like it was Donald Trump and all these people and they were
doing these tasks where they were selling lemonade. Was the one that I remember hearing and in my mind I was always good at a scavenger hunt, and like, always good at that sort of like hustle, and so I thought to myself, that sounds like something i'd be good at. I want to be on that show. And I always did want to be an actress. I went to LA to act I wasn't I don't think I was good at it. I was more importantly not good at hustling for it, like asking people for things, like saying out
loud that I was an actress. I used to say, I wish I could just be myself and something. And I thought that was hosting. But it's not really hosting, because hosting is like looking up at a script. It's more scripted than than that. It's just as scripted as scripted, and people being a host is almost as scripted as scripted because you're sort of tethered to like talking points. So I couldn't find my way in. And when someone mentioned the show, I was like, wait a minute, I
want to be on that show. So this guy Lance, who was friends with Lizzie, he was like a little pompous. He's a good guy, but he's always thought, you know, he's a hot stepper, and he became very successful in real estate. And he says to me something like that, I would never get on that show. And he said he'd get on that show. And he kind of like, you know, dare me not to do something, and he kind of said like, you won't get on that show. And I looked at him and I said these words,
and I'll never forget it. I said, you mark my words, I'll get on that show. So there was we took these guys had like a limo or something, and we were in a limo going somewhere, probably to a club. And whoever the other guy in the car was, I don't remember, might have been my friend Scott, I don't remember. But later on that person reminded me or said to me, they're casting for that show. Now you could send in a video like for the next season, for the season
two of The Apprentice, which incidentally wasn't a success. Was it two or was it three? I think it. I think it might have been three, Like the by the time it got around to me they were going to cast three, I don't remember, So I send in a tape. I was with my partner at a trade show selling wheat, egg and dairy free cookies. And I was with my partner and I said to him, can you go buy like a cheap small video camera. It wasn't now where
people had smartphones and phones video. This is the dark ages, this is dian Era. And he had to go to like let's say, like PC Richards or something or whatever. You know, they don't even know if they had There was another place like best Buy, but like go there and buy the smallest I think it was a Panasonic video camera. I didn't know how to use it. I just said, record me selling cookies. Because to me at
that point, this was a business show. Little did I know that this was an entertainment show, just like Shark Tank. I thought it was like a real business show. So I was intimidated. I wanted to show them how good a business I was. So we send in a tape and I get a call. So I get a call to go to the Trump I think it was called like the Trump International. It was up by Lincoln Center.
It was a Trump hotel by like Columbus Circle. And I go there and I charge up on my credit card, a Bloomingdale's outfit again, like people didn't buy online there. I mean, this is like the Dark Ages. You went into Bloomingdale. So you went into Bloomingdale's and I charged a miss Skino red skirt that I had like a little like like a twirl to it, like a little flip to it, and a red heart Mesquino jacket and
Mosquino shoes that had an open toe. And I charge this all because I was going and I was gonna get this. So I get there and I'm so serious about like I'm meticulous and I'm a hard worker, and like I'm all about that. Now at the time, Trump was saying thousands and thousands of applications had been received, and I remember thinking, like, you gotta be in it to win it if I don't send it in. And I'm not one who would send my thing into something
because I don't even know how to record myself. This was like the tech of it is what would be intimidating. But lo and behold, it's thousands and thousands of applications. Now I get down to the Trump International Hotel and now they're gonna fly me to La to be sequestered for a week. So you're at the Double Tree Hotel. Incidentally, the Double Tree Hotel is the best cookies. I blew up like a tick this week. So you go to the DoubleTree Hotel and you are in a hotel room,
a normal hotel room, for one week. What I realized was not everyone's there for a week, because some people get like disqualified and are sent home after a day two days. So if you've made it the whole week, you're kind of gonna make it on the show. And you're only allowed to leave your room for like fifteen to twenty minutes for breakfast, for lunch, and for dinner, and they will have you leave for like an IQ test,
a psychological test. You are not allowed to look at anyone else, you are not allowed to talk to anyone else. You eat by yourself, you go back to your room. It is extremely depressing. Now I think I might have gone down to the gym to work out. You're only allowed to go for half hour and that's it. You can't walk outside. You are stuck in your room. I was broke. I wanted the job. I was desperate. I
needed this thing. I was scared money never wins. And I would play that song every time by Britney Spears, and there was also a Jessica Simpson song. And I like wanted it, and I would pray for it, and I begged for it, and I would count. I was already like playing the game, thinking some of these people would be with me on the show if they make it, So start like clocking people, like, start playing the game now in your mind. So by the end of the week there was there were only I was trying to
count because they did it in like phases. You could see certain people at breakfast, certain people at lunch. They mixed it up. It wasn't the same people. So I started like counting how many people were still there. I saw that guy. That guy's not here anymore. Where's that girl? So finally I was like, wait, there's only like eighteen
people left, and the show had sixteen contestants on. So the last day, I think it was Scott Sallier's, the casting guy comes to my room with another guy and says, sorry, you did great. You're the first alternate. So I was correct that everyone had been sent home and we were like, I think nineteen people because on this season they decided
two more people. So I was the first alternate, but no one ended up backing out and I didn't make it, which was gutting, Like it was just like you went so far, you sent the thing, you were art, the thing, you had, the debate, you recorded, the thing, you get called, you send the thing in you then you know, go to the sequestering for a week, You do all this shit and then you have to go back home. And I remember it was the Kentucky Derby right after. So
I went. I partied with some people. I had fun, but I was depressed. I was miserable. But my motto was just like always brush yourself off, pick yourself up, be happy. It's meant to be. I had my wheat egg and dairy free Bethany Bakes Cookie Company, so that was sort of bombing. I sort of stuck to that. I didn't know how to extricate myself from that. I felt like I would be a failure if I did. I just was like sort of a I had nothing
really going, so I was. I guess I always was in tune to knowing that you keep in touch with people and like it seems so intimidating, like how am I going to get in? But they're just casting people now knowing casting people now knowing producers. They're just people like you think they're in some big like oz behind the curtain, you know, wizard tent. They're not, They're just people. So I would keep in touch with these people and months later, like I just am desperate. I just want
to talk to them. I want to know, like it's just not I don't know. I'm just like desperate. So months later they call me and they say, okay, Bethany, you're up. We're doing the Martha Stewart Apprentice. Because I had a wheat egg and dairy free cookie company. I had had a passion me in a company, I wanted to democratize health like Martha democratized style. I was like, wow, this is it. So I go back to that same dreadful, torturous week, which was misery. It's like think Jerry Duty
times ten. It's just like very depressing and very like weird and it's just not good. It's like being in a trailer. When you work on a movie, you're just kind of like you think you're gonna do all these interesting things. You don't do any of them. You just lay there and like watch TV and like try it. It's like being like you're trying to make the hours go by, like you're in some sort of luxury prison.
It wasn't good, which is interesting because that gives me an indication to Martha's time in jail, which had to be extremely depressing, and watching the documentary you see that it was very depressing. But she never let anybody see
her sweat and she does an emote. So I go back for the week, I get sequestered, I go through the same thing, and towards the end this time, I get to meet Mark Burnett and he's wearing these like ed hardy jeans and he's in this group thing where you're like simulating people talking to each other and debating with each other, and he says, this is gonna be the biggest thing that ever hit television. He said, I think I said on TikTok forty two million. He said
forty maybe forty to forty two million. He's like, this is gonna get forty million viewers. That's what he said, okay. Incidentally, it ended up getting eleven million viewers, which was a failure. Eleven million viewers today would be a success. There's just so much more content and the metrics aren't the same, and the streaming and the recording and DVR it's just a different game. But it ended up being a failure. I think that probably the normal apprentice was probably twenty
five million or something. It was a lot. So this was He thought this was gonna be the biggest deal because Martha Stewart was away in jail. She's getting out of jail. He's producing a daytime talk show with her end this, which, by the way, I thought it was a bad idea. I didn't understand two announcements at the same time. We're gonna do this and we're gonna do that.
It's just like when Bravo announced we're gonna do a new Real Housewives in New York cast and also we're doing like an all start at Real Housewives in New York or a vintage or side. I don't know. I just see. It's like it's twenty five pounds of shit in a five pound bag. Say one thing. Well, but anyway, I do remember I've always had a marketing mind. I thought it was weird. So he says it's gonna be
the biggest thing ever. And there's a girl in the room, and I guess we're down to it, and he says, why should you be here and why should she not, and I said, because I had now realized that this is not just a business show. The time before, I was too stiff, I was too obsessed with business. Or maybe I wasn't. I mean, I can't went all the way. But this time I was more free, I was more entertaining and more myself. I go, I go, why should
I be here or not her? Because she had the balls to wear a fake Mark Jacob's bag to this interview. I don't know if that's why I made it. I don't know what happened, but I know that I make it. I make it. They tell me this is a very thick contract. Don't bother debating it, don't bother disputing it. Just sign it. Mark Burnett is a person that if you sue him and you have any problem with any of this, it doesn't fucking matter. He will keep you in court and he won't back down. So I was like,
sign the dieline. We are off to the races. We are going to be on the Martha Stewart Apprentice. The biggest thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. I couldn't believe it was happening to me. I was so prepared and you know, just I was obsessed. I wanted it so bad. I was like, let's get wax, let's get sleeping pills, let's get prepared, let's you know, like just obsessed. Okay, So I live in New York City,
so that's easy for me. And apparently, so the first day we go, we're waiting on the street for hours, lining up to film like our entrances and all this stuff. I don't know anything about television. This did prepare me for reality television later, although the reality television that I would embark on later was so much more shoddy. And I will say this about Mark Burnett. He runs a military operation. It was like clockwork. It was insane, and
there's no breaking rules. So we're on the street waiting to go in. You can't talk to anybody. I remember. We get up into this building where they had built us aloft. I think it's called the ster at Lehigh Building, and Martha Stewart, living on Nimdia, was in the front of the building and our loft was in the back. But we didn't know that. We never knew where we were walking, where we were going, where we were You
weren't allowed to go out on the street. This wasn't like the celebrity Apprentice, where you could sort of have your own phone sometimes or call family sometimes. This was complete sequestering for weeks. And they tell you that when you get fired, you won't go home. You go to what they call the Ponderosa, which is a place. Again we didn't know where this was either, but it was an apartment somewhere in some like rental like oak Wood type apartment place. And you go there and they say
that there's gonna be a therapist there. And the therapist says like, I'll be the one that you'll come meet with when you come there. And I said to her, don't you worry, I'll never be coming there. I was a fucking animal. Then I was raised from the betting windows of Aqueduct Racetrack like animal raised at nightclubs, like don't worry, I'm not fucking coming back here. I'm gonna
kill everybody. I'll figure it out. So we are on the street waiting to get up in the cars, and then we go upstairs and I remember like I looked into the camera like like almost like Dorothy from the Wizard of Alice in Wonderland, going down the hole like
saw like spirals like saw like the light. They were like, don't look into the camera, Like I was gonna learn everything I would need to know about reality television from the most strict like Harvard University, to then later go to some community college of reality television where you can be shoddy, you can be friends with a producer, you can fuck a producer, you could marry a producer. This is not was not like that, except for Alexis Stewart, who did have a relationship with a camera guy, but
that would not happen for any of us. So we're up in Martha's offices too, like on the line coming in, like you're sort of in some hybrid Martha's offices where we're gonna live in this loft, like a badass building on this building, like cars can park. They come in elevators and like go up in the building car elevators to go to parking structures. Like it's wild. So now we are in this building and there's a hold up,
like there had been a long time to shoot. Everyone's arrival, everyone's entrance, everyone's car ride, everyone's I don't know anything about it. You're just like, why is this taking so long you don't realize how detailed this is. So now we're about to shoot the first scene where we're gonna meet Martha and the two people to her left and right, and there's a hold up, like there's a drama. There's like a hubbub, but like there's something going on, like
there's something that's more than what we've been experiencing. That's going on. There's some version of a drama. And here's the loophole. Someone probably got fired because somebody cast me and never had Alexis or Charles her chairman of Martha Stewart living on the media, Charles Kopple, he's the guy who's gonna sit next to him in the boardroom, the way Trump had a woman that worked for him and a lawyer, like two people and later I think probably Avanka.
So there's gonna be two people next to her. She's they're mimicking the model of Trump, and next to her is going to be Charles Kopphaman her chairman and good friend new good friend like new ish good friend, and Alexis her daughter. So they never thought to vet did these people have any conflicts of interest with us? So now we're going to walk in, and I don't know if I find out right before or I don't know
if I find out when I get in. And if they had not done this last minute, they would have probably not Probably they would have not cast me on the show. They would have let me go. This would have been a disaster, This would have changed the course of my life. We go in and Charles Kopplman is the guide to her right, the chairman of Martha Stewart Living Omnimdia. What neither Mark Burnett, nor the producers, nor Martha Stewart nor any of my castmates know is that
I was in a relationship with Charles Koplelman's son. I've been on vacation with Charles Koplelman and Brian and his son, and Jennifer Copplelman, his daughter, who I lived with in Paris and went to the South of France with like I know them. Brian incidentally produced and wrote Billions, the show based on loosely my friend Steve Cohen and Alex his wife, and Brian wrote the movie Rounders, And I used to date him. And here we are, I'm walking in.
I ready have to fucking be the center of attention. And divert and create drama and like have a spotlight on me when frankly, the stakes are too high. I need to win this and I need to get this goddamn job. I don't need to fucking be the center of attention before you've even started putting me on her radar? Like, why does she know Charles Koperlman? Why did she date Brian Koppleman. Her daughter Alexis has a radio show with
Jennifer Koppleman, or eventually does who I lived with. Like, I just don't need extra heat and light on me. I need to be a regular person that's competing. I don't want to have special attention, and I just don't want to be the fucking rich kid coming into this experience who needs this job. It's just gonna not hit right.
So I walk in and Charles is like, Bethany and I know each other, and yes we are, And like now I already am starting going up a hill because everybody else is already thinking I already am self conscious, thinking they're gonna think I have a leg up and I'm gonna get special treatment, and I'm like, I can never win this thing. Start off with a stain, knowing I can never win this thing. So that's how we start. Now we get into the loft, we get into our space.
There are no really walls or ceilings. They have the camera and microphone on you when you pee, in case you're talking about things or talking about other people. You have to sleep with an eyemask on because it's a New York City full window building, so light is blazing through the windows while you're trying to sleep in a no wall, no ceiling space. It is designed to be a nightmare. It is designed to keep you awake. It's a sleep deprivation experiment. You are activated, you are heightened,
you are desperate. It is a nightmare. You can't think of the name of the restaurant with the golden arches. You have a camera on you. Everything you say is being recorded. I'm not used to this, like I am now, I'm not a professional. No one is. It's just it's just scary. It's just like daunting and you're trying to like get your footing while you're trying to be creative. And I was rough in the beginning, like I just couldn't get for the first test, Like I was like,
I'm gonna lose. I'm gonna be sent home first, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna be so embarrassed, like the whole thing. One guy Chuck like basically had a nurse breakdown on the first or second task, like it was. It was not for the faint of heart, honestly. And it's also kind of look at the draw who goes first, et cetera, Like it might be who's not good TV. It doesn't mean they're not a good or smart person. It's a thousand things. It's an entertainment vehicle. No one's going to
dispute the fact that I'm entertaining. So we go in, we do the first task, We're all connecting. What's interesting from a human behavior standpoint is how much people All these people got that thick contract. All these people sat in that hotel room for a week. All these people applied, had to go through many hoops and jaunt and gauntlets
and you know, try to get this thing. But immediately everyone thinks it's gonna be the biggest show in the world, and everyone's talking about how much money they're going to make off of us, and talking about our leverage. And I'm flabbergasted. Because I who's broke, has no family, no safety in it. I need this. I'm desperate, I am scared. Money never wins. I can't believe how lucky I am. We're doing it for basically next to nothing, and I would have paid them to do it, Like I can't
even believe I'm here. I never have that thought, and I never really had that thought for years later with Housewives, like until I really was a real hot, valuable commodity that would leave for three seasons and the ratings would spike from three point two to one point six million, and then I'd come back and they would like it was unavoidable to know my value. So not until all
of that that I finally understand this concept. But it was wild to see everyone counting their money and counting their you know, chickens before they hatch, and like immediately going to the place of like they're gonna make so much money off of us. And I did think it was a mistake, like fucking create good content, let it do well, then will worry later. Nobody knows anything. And before I came, I teed up Bethany bakes and I'm gonna be the biggest thing and I'm gonna sell so
many cookies. I'm gonna be Tory Birch on Oprah. She sold millions of caf Hans. I've got all my partners. I'm selling this into partners, bakers, like I'm gonna be on the show. Like I imagine what people must tell people now, making them think it's gonna be the biggest thing, and it's not the biggest thing. Nothing is really the biggest thing. It's kind of fool's gold. Even Housewives, you could say
whatever you want. You know, I'm going to do another series on Jennifer Lopez, and I say this with respect. She has two hundred and seventy million followers, and her skincare and her body glow and her products haven't hit just because you have two hundred and seventy six million followers. Beyonce had Jeans, Darian Jean's there, they were gone. It is not It's not the same thing to have an audience and then to sell them a product. Okay, it's
a very different thing. The Kardashians have had more failures than successes. They're billionaires and they've hit it because they've gone and kept at it, and they're relentless but the notion and thought that the Kardashians or Jalo or Beyonce would have anything not fucking pop off is insane to me because I have like three percent of their audience. But lo and behold, they've all Jennifer has not had a product brand hit, and really Beyonce for the most
part hasn't. They've made millions and millions and tens of millions of dollars on their music and albums. I'm just note, I'm just observing something. So you can't be on the Housewives or The Apprentice or some shit show and think this fool's gold. You know, this is the golden goose. It's gonna lay eggs. It takes a lot to be an entrepreneur. It takes a lot to move a product.
It says a lot about my audience and the connection that I have that I have significantly fewer followers, but I can move product like nobody else because love me or hate me, people believe me. So for whatever that's worth you, these people are all, you know, thinking how big they're gonna be, and I'm thinking my cookies are gonna be the cats me out. Okay, not the case. So we're shooting the show. And also I'm staying healthy.
I'm a natural food chef. I'm presenting as such. I'm making my brown rice breakfast that's in my book, naturally thin. I'm trying to be hydrated. I'm trying to eat well. Everyone's eating crap and garbage. The apartment is a tenement. It looks disgusting. Everybody's filthy. I'm trying to be neat, Like you're getting edgy about things that don't matter. And the game has begun. I make a friend Marcella. I like her a lot. I become friends with this guy Chuck,
who goes home early. It gets, you know, dicey, and you're making friends making enemies. This guy Jim I became friends with. He was hilarious, but he was the most irritating of everybody. But I found him so amusing. He was like the guys that I was friends with in eighth grade, like the bad boys. Like it's just it's a very interesting experience. You're like in a fish bowl with all these people. So the tasks start and I'm like flailing a little in the beginning, but I do
hit my stride pretty quick. I kick in, I hit my stride. We are off and running. So when I come back, because this is a lot to remember, it's like frying my brain. I'm going to get into how Martha clocks something in my closet, How I get to go to two of her homes and I start to kick in as the one to beat in this competition. It starts to get real, and I'm a horse that comes from behind. I'm a horse that when it's a
far turn, that's when I really fucking pick up. So you got It's it's like anything else, you know, it's it's a marathon, not a sprint. This thing starts to get real. I'm not sure I think I've met I get I get to meet Martha after the first task, which we don't win. That's the time when I think I said something like I want to cry, and she goes really cry and you're out of here. We don't women in business don't cry, or something like that. We
don't women in business don't cry. She also says to this woman Sean Killinger, who went on to work on QVC, we don't fake it till we make it. Here at Martha Stewart Living Omni Media, which is bullshit. One hundred percent fake. They fake it till they make it At Martha Stewart Living Omni Media. That's that's that's completely false, but it's a good line for television.