So this is the era of the teen pushback, and everyone's dealing in different ways. I have my own therapists. I have a therapist that my daughter speaks to that I also speak to to navigate certain things. But this is the testing stage now. I have a great kid, and she doesn't disrespect me, and she's not what anybody would think is really spoiled because I've got a tight leash on which even with the tight leash, you know, there's a lot of pushback right now and like snapping
of the leash. And I see that people have wretched situations going on with their teenagers. And I can also see that because I'm the person that you know, is constantly organizing my drawers and throwing out expired condiments and wiping down the inside of my you know, produce drawer on the fridge. And what I mean by that is that I'm on the case at all times. I'm that bitch. Don't let hemework build up, I don't procrastinate. And I'm like that with parenting too, Like I don't just like
roll my eyes and look at someone else embarrassingly. If my daughter disrespects me. If my daughter disrespects me, that least she's getting snapped hard, something's getting taken away. There are consequences. I do. It's weird. There's no leeway. It's called zero tolerance policy with the life that my child
has to be disrespectful at all. So even with that, I do get other ways, like like there could be there just can be pushback sometimes with things or like where my daughter thinks that she's a peer, Like she thinks she's appear and she's gonna give a commentary on something I'm doing and tell me why she doesn't agree with it, or she thinks it's inappropriate or she thinks, you know, it's disrespectful or a different word, and it's like Hi, Like she said to me something that she
thought was you know, not appropriate recently, and it was it was, it was not. I mean I've spoken to her therapist about it and he said it was you know, if handled properly, it's appropriate. And I said to her, listen to me, you're fourteen years old. So I just don't want there to be any confusion that you're my peer. I will validate feelings that you have about certain different things in life, in your schedule in school and what
you want and what we want. I will validate. I will listen to the way you feel, because we don't want our kids in their bedrooms crying alone, not feeling like they're not hurt. It's a very very emotional time. So I will listen and validate that. Being said, this is in an open forum where we're peers, and I do what my fourteen year old wants me to do, like that's where the line is. And I think that's where parents get jammed up and they don't understand what
the line is. You just feel like if your child's unhappy about something, then all of a sudden, you just want to do everything to make them happy. If they start crying, or if something goes on, or if something breaks, you want to mend it. If something stayed, you want to replace it. You know, we get into this situation where we just want to make them happy, and they know that, and even if it's not intellectual, they energetically
know that and they do exploit that. So if my daughter says to me, well, I don't think that's appropriate, I said to her, I said, well, let me tell you something. I said. There are a lot of things that you might think are not appropriate. I said, let's talk about this. What if I was broke. I was a broke mom, I couldn't afford our rent, and I was going to go by the airport and get on a stripper pole, get naked and dance for men for money.
I think that would be totally appropriate if I was broken, I need to pay for your school and pay for food to be on the table. I find that, Tobay, I would find that to be totally appropriate, and I would do it. So just because you don't think something is appropriate, it doesn't mean anything. I'm an adult who's an excellent parent, who's more involved than parents that don't work in many cases. So I'll validate a feeling you have.
But everything is in an open forum for discussion. Where we go, what we eat, what we do, who we hang out with. None of that is an open forum for discussion, and we don't have to do everything that you want to do. This is like somehow these kids
think that like this is a democracy. We're all like, you know, we're on a board together and we're allvoting for everything, and it's not we're not voting for chicken fingers over pasta any more than we're voting for where we're going on vacation any more than we're voting for what we're doing, or if you're doing your homework, or if you want to go here, do that, take that class, not take that class, Go to your therapy, go to
your doctor, get your teeth clean. Like it's called the tough shit program, because the tough Ship program in my house is balanced with Oh, we're going to Paris Fashion Week, Brinn. This will be the second time you've been to Paris. So I've got to keep that leash tight because I've got a kid who's had experiences that I can't even imagine at her age having had my daughter's going to Paris for the second time now, I want to share
that with her. But I don't want any of you or myself to ever think that like I act like that's normal, or I think that this is a free for all, Like I'm not going to be punitive and not take her on something I think she'd love, But I'm also not you know, buying her everything she wants and giving her everything. And I've posted about this before, like on Christmas and on her birthday, she will get
influencer gifts. So like influencer gifts come in or pr gift, they're called to me and to Brin too, because they're not stupid. They know I might not post about it, but she might post about it to her fifty thousand followers, and it's then they might get pressed about it because it's my daughter and I know the whole game. So she gets gifts because she's Brinn and my daughter. But I don't just put them in her room. You think, like every time she gets a necklace or a sweatsuit
or whatever, like she's gonna get no fucking way. I'd have the most spoiled kid ever. And I've seen it, and I've seen celebrities kids with like you know, air Mez clothing and Gucci sneakers, Like this is not my house, like her backpack for schools from Amazon, and it's not me cosplaying poor. Believe me, she has some nice things too. We're not going to Paris Fashion Week and she's wearing, you know, clothes I found on the street. But she
is wearing clothes she already has in her closet. Because I'm wearing clothes that I already have in my closet. I'm not shopping for Paris fashion weekend. She'll shop her own closet too. She's not a royal, a member of the royal family, So stuff comes and I put it in a gift closet. Then it's on her birth the things that I know that she would love, that are special, that are special treats, then she'll get that stuff for
her birthday over Christmas. But there are not that many things that I'll actually buy, just because there's so much stuff around here, and I don't. I don't spoil her. She is spoiled because of experiences, but I don't. I try. I try not to materialistically spoil her. I actually am hesitating because I think that you know, I couldn't afford a taxi in my late thirties to go on a date downtown. I literally couldn't, and I would be walking
like sixty bucks. That was my only exercise I ever got because I couldn't afford a taxi and I was broken, and I would get insufficient funds notices and I would put my money in the ATM machine and out would come like you have no money and be a nightmare. And then I'd bounce checks and I was always scared. So like she goes out to dinner with her friends and she can pay for it. She goes, and she does ask me, can I get Bobuck? Can I get Starbucks? But like I say yes? Or she gets a pokey bowl,
like we order in a pokey bowl. Every time she gets a pokey bowl, I want to pokey myself in the eye because I'm like, oh, I have a fucking rich kid. Shit, you know. And it's not a free for all every night. It's not like every night is poke ball night, but it's just, you know, it's hard. I talk to Mark Cuban about this. Now, I'm not a billionaire like Mark Cuban, but like I go on a plane and I take her with me, I'm not, you know, sitting here and coach with me in first class.
I would, but I'm not gonna do it just to be like spiteful, you know. So it's a dance and it's not easy. I'm doing my very best. I haven't taken her on enough charity. That's annoying that I haven't
done that. She was supposed to come one time to North Carolina, but she got sick right before, and I haven't gone on a relief mission myself, like physically in a minute, and you know, and sometimes it's really dangerous there, and I don't want to take her into a place where people have like, you know, rat feces and water up to their ankles in Puerto Rico. So it's like I'm doing a fine job. I'm doing a better than
fine job because I crack, you know, the whip. But I'm doing a fine job because I think I'm doing
a better than fine job. I think I'm doing a better I'll tell you something of my therapist said, So when you snap at your kids, you know, when you go to a ten, you snap, so, my therapist said, And you should explain this to your children, my therapist said to my daughter, because like sometimes there'll be too many things, like it's too many spoiled things, too many rude comments, Like then there's the sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, or they delay a little while and then
there's an apology. But then two days later it happens again, and then you snap. And my therapist said, the thing is you think because every time you say sorry, you think you took the slate to zero. But when the first time it happened, you took the slate to one. Then you took it up. Then the next time it happened, you added to it. The apology might have taken a little off, but then you got to three. Now a couple of other things happen, and your mom is just
she's done. She's at a ten. So I'm just like, so the littlest thing will happen where it's not even that big of a thing, but my daughter will get, you know, a little snippy about something, a little disrespectful, and I'll just go, I'll launch. I'll fucking launch because I'm at a ten from all of it. And then I'll say, you know what, I'm done. It's been like, it's been like five different things and now I have no patience, you know how you get like that? So
them intellectually and emotionally understanding how we operate differently. You know. Ramona Singer used to be the apologizer. She would say yes, walk into the next scene and think like everything was okay. It's like, what are you talking about. You just called someone you know a drug addict. You just said the
worst thing you've ever said to anyone. In the next scene, we're all supposed to be happy and hugging like it's jarring and reality TV has a bigger forgiveness scale than other places because you have to work with them on TV. But like, what the fuck? So you know, if you ever want, I'll give you all my free therapy advice. I'll give you all my free therapy advice. And my
therapist said, what did he say? He said, when you're having a dispute with your child, to tell them how you feel like it made me feel this when you said that to me, like or the way you said that makes me feel like this right, but not to character assassinate. So don't get into which we all do and I've done. You're spoiled, you're entitled, you're don't get into that because it's character assassination and it like makes the person self loathing and it's just not gonna get
you where you need to go. Doesn't mean you have to be touchy feely. How do you feel about everything? I think it's a disgrace that that was said that way, and this is how it made me feel. You know, like you can get into it, but not to like character assassinate the person that does do damage. You know, there's a certain point and there's a little bit of guilt that he said. That is good, like a little bit of guilt on your kid, But too much guilt. I did everything for you, and I wouldn't be here
if you know that is it's too far. So there's got to be, like everything else in life, a balance, a balance to the whole thing. So that's where I stand.