So I've been giving a lot of dating advice lately, which people are devouring like a viral Hailly Bieber smoothie from Airwan. So basically, I have many different opinions and philosophies on dating, as I've shared with you, and I am.
A seasoned expert dater.
So one of the things that is important is that when you start dating, you treat it like it's a Viking stove with multiple burners.
This I call the burner method.
So what this means is you have multiple options going at the same time at different heats. Something you can be very into, you just matched with someone, You just someone you're into it that's on boil.
Someone that you.
Like you're not sure, you haven't heard from them in a minute, but they're in the mix.
They're on simmer.
Somebody who turns you off, is cheap, is unattractive, there's a red flag. They come off the stove completely. So you're moving things around, and what that does is that if you really like someone, you're not going to be so thirsty and so energetically desperate because you've got multiple burners going. So it just energetically keeps your attention in many places, think about it. You always get a job when you have many jobs. You never get a job
when you have no job. That's when you're desperate scared.
Money never wins.
You're going into the casino needing to make money and you lose. Dating is the same. If you've got game, you've got game, and it just is an energetic law of attraction.
So now you get full.
Now you've been scrolling, now you've been dating, You've got a bunch of burners, and they all tastes like shit, nothing's exciting you. That's when you start to pull one off at a time, and whatever you've learned during that experience informs what you're going to do in the future. Meaning you may say, I'm not hungry for a while, I don't want to cook for a while. As long as you're comfortable being alone, which is the ultimate key to meeting someone. The ultimate key to meeting someone is
being alone and being comfortable with it. Not being alone and crying about it on social media and eating ice cream. Being alone and confident about it. You are happy, You are a whole. No man completes you. I heard recently
that Jennifer Lopez went out to dinner by herself. And that's wonderful, and it's great to be able to go out to dinner alone, but someone needs to actually be happy being alone to be in a healthy relationship with someone else, because you are a fully formed human being, now you are ready.
To be a good match.
And it's also important when doing the Burner method to treat every person very well.
Be respectful, be kind, be.
Open, because you're learning, even if it's something you don't like, you can become friends with this person. They could be someone you know. It's a big pictured discussion, it's chestnut checkers. And one big thing I've learned is that you should take responsibility for how someone else feels. So let me give you an example. A guy really likes you. You know how much he likes you. He sends you flowers, he tells you how much heat thinks about you. He's
into you. You've told him that you are not that into him, or that you don't want something right now, or it's just not it's not him, it's you, whatever, But the guy still hasn't hurt the message, and he's coming in hot, right He's coming in hot. You can't just let him keep doing nice things for you. And keep him in the friend zone because he will eventually resent that, and you know how.
He feels about you.
So it's your responsibility as a good human and good karm to take responsibility for his feelings. Also because often we say, well, I told him, he knows we're just friends, or he knows I'm out into him, or he knows I don't want this. It's not emotionally responsible to know that someone else is very into you and to kind of toy with that exploit that just the person might not be strong enough to stay away from you. I've been through this so many times, and you have to
be strong enough to stay away from them. Even though they are a comfort zone. They're easy, they're your safety school. The biggest thing is that if you're in the wrong thing or the wrong things for too long, meaning the burner methods good, but it's not sustainable. I mean, you can have stamina and have people in and out, but you need to be able to focus when something's good, and if you spend too much time with the wrong thing, you.
Get in the comfort zone.
The guy who kind of really likes you and you know is the friend zone guy that maybe with benefits those nights that you're with that person are making you feel like you don't need to be out there or be working on yourself or be open to when the right person comes. So if you stay with the wrong person too long, or spend time with even the wrong person for too long, you will not see when the right person comes. So make sure that that is really
a priority for you. Don't be with someone just to fill a seat, scare Money never wins, so you have to be It's back to being alone. You have to be comfortable being alone, and then you're not going to be so desperate that because you have a guy who's willing to hang out with you. The worst thing ever said was if you can't be with the one you love, love the one that you're with. That's the most stupid thing that anyone's ever said, because it's not true.
It's not true at all.
You're not supposed to be with like filler, good enough isn't good enough in business or in relationships.
So work a quality versus quantity model.
You can go through different iterations to get there, but ultimately I would rather not eat than eat something shitty, So I would rather not date then date someone shitty.
That's just me. It's really hard.
To say no, and it's a discipline and no one else can do it for you. And when you're in demand and people want you to do a bunch of different things, you have to just really try to look at the chess board and find a way to say no. I had a big TV appearance that a week and a half before it, I canceled why because I was feeling stripped and I was looking at the board and
knowing myself. I knew that I would end up presenting it and then I would end up doing it half asked, and then I would end up feeling resentful about doing other things because it's Domino's so if you can't do one thing, if one thing falls, then everything's going to fall. And sometimes we just get overloaded. And this was a thing that would have been a good appearance, but I just knew that I'm starting to feel stripped, and you got to think about what you want. I want to
spend time with my daughter. I want to be present. You can't do everything, And now that I've become more and more successful, the less that I do, the more opportunities that come in. Because I'm being truthful and honest, and because when I do something, I give it my own. I did a Lifetime movie, and to be perfectly honest, I did for a lot less money than I do
anything else, for a lot more time. I went to Canada for twelve days and was paid what I would be paid probably to do something else for one day. And I make a lot of money. And that's all very warped and skewed, but not everything's about money. I did that because I thought it was an opportunity. It was a new space, it was a new sphere. It was stretching me. Can I be an actress? Can I do a good job? And I did that because I've said, notice so many other things, whether lucrative or not, that
I don't really want to do. So then when I want to do something, I'm able to put my all into it, Meaning this was an opportunity that wasn't about money. Don't get me wrong. I got paid well. They paid me well, all due respect to Lifetime. I just make a lot of money doing a lot of things, so they paid me really well. But I did that because of a passion. I wanted to try something. I wanted to test myself. I wanted to push myself, and I've said no to a lot of other things, so I
can have the luxury of saying yes to that. That actually applies to dating too. If you start just dating crappy and filler, then when something good comes along, you'll be busy, you'll be somewhere, you won't be present and available. Don't be afraid to just be present and sit in your own skin when something doesn't feel right. So the bottom line is quality versus quantity and having boundaries in your life and saying no means saying yes. Want to back to become of them