Just B Rant: Calling BS

well it was two kids, Paul, myself. That's four, so it's effectively going to be six people, so three couples. So the first person texted me and said, I woke up feeling sick. I have keto flu. I thought that that was like another weird name for one of the like covid flus, Like I don't remember what the strains were. There's all these different strains, but like they're just named

weird things. I thought flu was like enough, because you know what, like Corona was the same name as a beer, like I don't know, Like I thought like like there are like cars that are seemed like they're named after like hair loss drugs that have commercials that everything seems like weird names. So when he said keto flu, I

thought it was like another strain of COVID. And in fact, the next day I made a joke and said, like, oh, I thought he meant like from ketosis or something like from that from eating bacon, and he clarified that it was the keto flu from going keto from not eating sugar. There was like a detox. I was like, get at he like, okay, So one cancelation was the keto flu.

Then the next cancelation was this he thought he might have a kidney stone, woke up in pain, Okay, Like I don't know why he didn't figure out whether he did or didn't before calling me that he thought he might have a kidney stone. Okay. The third one was a prolonged period a woman at a certain age, you know, probably going near a menopause. And it's all I'm sure all these used it a real and it was just the perfect storm, but that it was a prolonged period. Okay,

this is all pandemic. This is all post pandemic. That like having COVID is the best excuse for anything, Like you would just say like I'm not feeling oh, don't calm like, you know, it might be COVID. I don't know. I tested it. Oh, don't calm like it's the greatest excuse. And I feel like then, since the pandemic and since everyone is used to just being able to cancel everything with pandemic excuses and COVID excuses, that now you could

be like, I have long cuticles. They are overgrown, and I don't feel you know, I just I don't feel comfortable coming to dinner. You're like, oh my god, yeah, years ago Paula Abdul had like the staff infection from the mannakers. You didn't come with long cuticles. What are you crazy? So I's like, I have an ingrown toenail.

That's Brandon laughing. I have an ingrown toenail, and I just, you know, some people have plantopasciitis, and I had problems walking, and like I you know, obviously you shouldn't come because no one's worn shoe since before the pandemic, so you know you should call. You know, then you'd have to come barefoot and like, you know, or put a shoe on. And that's brightening to begin with. Now you have an ingrown tonail. Absolutely not so just know that it used

to be like only pregnancy. It was a good excuse any for nine months, you get to say anything about it feeling blow and I feeling tired, I'm exhausted, I'm uncomfortable, baby's kicking, my feet are swell, and I'm a watermelon. Now it's anything after the pandemic, say anything you fucking want. My glasses are too tight on my temples. My daughter doesn't like when there's like a little mark, a little red mark for my sunglasses, and so like, just if

that happens to you, just don't go to dinner. Cancel, cancel it all. I used to say, mention it all, cancel it all. Okay, you might have if you stop eating sugar. What if you just you know, stop eating I stopped eating vegetables. I stopped eating vegetables, so you know I have like a like a like a plant flu. Oh what is that? Just I stopped getting vestals and there's some sort of flu correlated with it. So yeah, anything goes now. Another post pandemic thing is forget that

it's high heeled shoes. I wore shoes out the other day. I felt like someone took like a medieval vice and put them on my feet like it was. It was medieval torture where we used to go through these shoes. And another thing that happened since the pandemic is the house that the nest. You've built a nest. You're bluebird. You just cracked out of the shell. You fly away, you fly right back. Like I took brend to Dick Sporting Goods. She talked about it the day before. She

wanted to lacross Dick. We talked about it, and so the next day we wake up, said, MoMA, we're gonna go to Dick Sportings. We went. I think we did breakfast to two activities. I'm gonna count, but we went to Dicks. Like we drove twenty minutes away. It was parking, it was transacting. It was the parking ticket. We lost the parking ticket. I told brand the parking ticket's gonna be in my back pocket. Know that, because we're gonna have a moment where we're gonna lose the fucking ticket.

And sure enough, the guy at the counter at Dick Sporting Goods said, do you have your ticket? You need to ticket violated when in LA. We're not in LA. Violate validated no, so now my tickets. I think the location moved then, because I just that wasn't a transaction I was expecting in between, like my back pocket ticket moment. So we left, We got our stuff. We go through the line and I'm carrying all these things. I just Dick Sporting Goods, could you please have carts right by these?

Like you going you think you're gonna get one thing, and then you're holding a lacrosse stick, a soccer bag. I don't know where the cards are. It's not a cart forward environment at Dicks, and I would think you need a big card. It's big card energy there, like you need big carts that you could visibly see. They are bright red from any part of the store. I was near going towards a checkout. I could not see the cards. So just Dick, do me a favor, get

some carts. And then we were coming out. We go to the thing and give your ticket, press the button, please put your ticket in. I can't find my ticket. Brings next, but we can't find the ticket. Where's the ticket? Mom? You had it in the back pocket. I'm like a no. But then the guy asked me for the thing, and I lost my process I lost my flow, I lost

my ticket mojo. So I can't find the ticket. So then we call oppress the other silver button, not the big button, not the big like you know, bobble button, the other button, and then the guy comes on. He's like, you need to find your ticket. You have your ticket. I'm like, I don't. Just look to take him in. He's like a therapist. He's like part time booth. He's not in the booth, but like the part time booth manager. Part time therapist is like, just take a moment, look

for your ticket. Your ticket is there. You'll find a ticket. I'm like, okay that he's a dolly llama, but I can't. I don't think I have it. He's like, just take a minute, a little passagg but I appreciate it. Take a minute, you'll find the ticket. Take a minute. So in the meantime, I said, I no, just it was

three it's supposed to be three out. It was actually zero dollars because we were there less than but the guy at the counter said we didn't need a validation because it's less than an hour, so it should be free. But if we had been there all the time that we actually were there, would be three hours. So he said, you can't find the ticket. It's fifteen dollars. Like what? So he's like, it's fifteen dollars? Why? Like, what's that arbitrary? You think? I was a Dick Sporting Goods for five hours?

What was I doing? Like? Why is this arbitrary number? Fifteen dollars? Like why? No? I got so mad? You found the ticket. The guy was right, I did take a minute. I just didn't understand the arbitrary fifteen. And the reason that I bring all of this up is that I leave my house in small doses. This is

a post pandemic thing. That was a lot. That was like going to the tailgate for a Jets game, driving to New Jersey, cooking filet, slicing it, putting it on a sandwich, melting cheese, caramelizing onions, making bloody Mary's, going to the game, feeling disgusting, freezing, getting in the car, coming home, desperately needing a shower. That's what it felt like to go to Dick Sporting Goods for forty five minutes. Because it's post pandemic, we can't we can't do it anymore.

Going to dinner as a big activity to prepare for big CBS the Olympics. So post pandemic is a different life now, and I don't leave the house unless it's in small doses, and I gear up. Brian and I are going to CVS today and a manicure and pedicure and I have to get blood drawn and I'm feeling overwhelmed, big stuff filling up. I think I talked about this before, but I experienced a death from a friend that I've known for years, but I'm not in the most recent

round of his life. And it was amazing to me. I just noticed this, and I noticed this and with another person, how people want to own death. Someone dies and in maybe an unexpected manner, and everybody wants to brag about the less time they spoke or their relationship with them, and everybody wants to be like on the front lines of what's going on and how the family wants to handle things and how you know, and it's weird,

Like it's weird. People really want to be like, you know, that person that just is right in there with everything, and it's always the person that's you know, not the closest with them with that person, like it's not the immediate family member. It's not the mother, son or best friend. It's always some peripheral person. It's come around that's sort of new, got us to jump on it and be

like all over it. I realize that recently during a situation and I literally shut somebody down, like get out of my way and stop trying to own this person's death. It's weird and creepy.