So the story that happened with me is someone says to me, can you stay an extra night? I know an amazing guy I want you to meet, really amazing, beyond successful, astronomically wealthy, good looking, tall, fun, can keep up with you, energy, great looking, good age, a little old, but good age. So I will just get to the punchline. I go to dinner with this person and it sort
of started to tick up. And I guess if you come from an abusive household, you will sense things more quickly, Like I can send someone who has an eating disorder more quickly than someone else because of my household. I can sense abuse or anything like I could just feel it. It's just a feeling. So I could feel that the person was a little bit ornery and controlling, just in minimum actions, being like no, no. That could stay on your plate because this is the communal plate, or little
sentences that you're like okay. And I was out to dinner with someone who knowing that I'm a public person, which isn't the headline, but I'm just gonna say it.
Knowing that I'm a public person. We're in a public place.
People are everywhere who because a server and by the way the server was bulligerent, and so was the manager.
A server and then a manager had to come over hadn't brought over serving utensils, and the meat was rare that this elevated and escalated into a situation where the man that I was with was standing up like chest to chest with a host of with a manager of a restaurant, and with a not chest to ches with the waitress, but basically saying thanks to the waitress like, well then do it, and to the manager, this is
fucking not done on the fucking this is bullshit. We're leaving, and to me like let's go, We're leaving, And he continued to get into this altercation with this manager and I stood up and walked out.
I didn't say anything.
I didn't I didn't, I just I just literally disappeared and dissolved from the situation, walked into an alley, called my driver and was like GTFO because even I don't even think if this person had a family member die on that day, it would justify treating staff like this. And by the way, he didn't punch anybody in the face,
and the staff was slightly belligerent. I didn't say that on my TikTok post, and I didn't say that to the staff that I called after to apologize, because it really doesn't matter what the content is if the delivery is like this in my opinion, like whatever it was, I was like, what the fuck? And I left because I couldn't even believe it. On a first date, I couldn't believe. If we were married twenty years, I still would not be able to believe this. But I was
just like, this is a snapshot of my future. We're talking good looking, smart, We're close to a billionaire, is what I've been told, Like if not a billionaire, Like we're talking checks all the boxes, And this moment happened and I got.
The fuck out of there.
I just well, I'm glad you got out of there. You didn't have to suffer fools. And there's a lot of things we could say about this. Number One, there's another woman in the universe who puts up with that because he's a billionaire. Someone else normalizes this behavior because what's attached to it, and having money, while amazing, doesn't buy social skills or class.
What about saying that so many young girls would sit there and feel bad because who the person who set us up?
What are they? What's this person going to say to them? Or am I ruined in this town?
Or is this a me too moment that I'm just sitting through because I feel uncomfortable and it's awkward.
It's I want to say something.
It may sound easy that I stood up, It wasn't easy to stand up.
It was not. It wasn't because I was in love with this man.
It was because the game was moving so quickly and this altercation was about to be over, and it was like I still was aware of what this guy was going to think of me, gaslighting myself because a long time ago I walked I met a guy at his apartment. He really wanted to He was a big, big time rich producer. And this was had to me fifteen years ago, maybe longer, maybe like twenty years ago.
Oh am, I yeah.
And it was New York City and he lived in a major building and he wanted me to know because that's why he kept pushing me to have drinks at
his house. And he met me at the door and he was on a phone call when at the door, and he was like fingered to me like one second, like you know, gesture like one second, and he proceeded to have a twenty minute phone call with somebody while I sat in his very rich, you know, person's massive apartment that like someplace that like a president would would live. And I can feel it in my body, like the blood starts to boil. I start to like it starts
to ramp up. And what did I do? I waited to make sure he couldn't see me, because I didn't want a moment of him be like no, wait, come back, which was the same thing here, because that's the moment that you could get dragged back in and change your whole life. I basically waited where he couldn't really hear me, and I tiptoed out and left his apartment and walked three blocks and my friend calls, like, what the fuck? Because this was a big setup. This was like a
major guy. I'm like, what the fuck? What the fuck? She's like, you just called me.
I'm like, right, you don't you don't.
Get on the phone and gesture and not come in and go, oh my god, I am so sorry. A deal is blowing up. I like come in and be like recognizing or this guy being like.
In the middle of it, being like you know what, I'm gonna calm down. This is not me.
Someone died yesterday like something. But like I say to young women, GTFO, no explanation. This is a stranger. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. And there are many me too moments that happen as a result of just sitting there cowering, not knowing how to handle. A situation happened to me in college with a guy on the verge of date.
Raping me, like just pushing it too far.
And then but if you get aggressive, like no app get off me, like it's hard to do. In the moment, the guy was like a very good looking guy. I was dying to go out with him. We went at I was like ahead of my skis. I had had too much to drink, and I just mustered it up because I grew up with animals at the racetrack and I'm tough. Some girls aren't as tough, so you have to be that tough when that feeling comes.
Up, I'm sorry I had to go through that.
I one d percent agree, And it brings up a sort of an interesting, challenging societal question.
Is this is this biology?
Is this sociology where women are taught to get along, make peace, bury their feelings, because there's a big, big part of my coaching is listen to your feelings. If a guy is making you feel anxious, unsafe, unseen, act on that. But a lot of people bend over backwards to not make people uncomfortable. I have women to go out with men on dates and dates and dates and dates, and they don't like them. They're not attracted to them.
They don't want to hurt him just by saying no, I don't want to go out with you.
That feels too aggressive to them.
So such people pleasers that they end up not being pleased themselves. So where do you where do you think this comes from, Bethany.
Well, it comes from It comes from the same women want to give men extra credit points for the basic bullshit. And it comes from young girls being marketed to get the ring, get the dress, get you don't have to work, And then they all end up in their fifties on pills and alcohol and a call to sac and the men get the custody of the kids because they just wanted the bullshit fairy tale versus working for themselves, having their own independence. You know why, I can get the
hell up from that table. I got my own driver waiting right there to get in the car, and I don't need this guy's money. Would it be great to be with some billionaire on his boat and his plane.
Yeah, at my level with what I'm dealing with.
Them, with the rare air of the opportunities that I have, and that I can't date a normal guy, yeah, fuck that, though I'd rather be alone. So what that comes from is being successful. I guarantee you if I were broke, flat broke, I would I mean knowing me no, because I was flat broke when I left that other guy at the door. But you never know. You never know if you're flat broke. You might stay there longer, you might drink it pretty.
I don't know.
I'll never know, because I'll never be flat broke. But women have to have their own independence and not feel like they just are going to take the scraps.
And I agree. And most of the women who come to me are not worth one hundred million dollars. But most of my clients are highly successful women, and they are independent and they don't need a man to financially take care of them, and they stay too long in situations where they do not feel safe, they do not feel like he is trustworthy. Right, the amount of and we're agreeing, the amount of bullshit that women put up with is remarkable. Under again, it probably does have to
do with like some sort of child childhood psychology. This is what's normal. The man is the man is verbally abusive to the woman, and the woman. My parents have been married for fifty years. They don't talk, but they've been married for fifty years, and so that's what she grew up witnessing is the shell of a person.
I also think women are acutely aware that there's another woman that's totally going to be willing to take to put up with that.
Great.
Now we're getting somewhere, So who fucking cares that someone else is willing to pick up You're rich, trashed guy. You're not losing a billion dollars, You're gaining freedom. Yeah, that's the thing, is this social comparison, this money status thing. I have to hold onto this guy because he's a prize to show off to my friends. Yes not how many you know better than I do. How many rich, miserable people are there?
Very well, they're rich every people.
But yeah, right, right, It's not unique to the rich. It's just the idea that if I have money, all my problems will go away. No, your money problems will go away. But this is the great thing. When you have money, you can actually marry for love. Money's a bonus. I'm not saying it's bad. It's that when you have money, it gives you the freedom I've always said, Rupert Murdoch doesn't worry about marrying another billionaire. He wants to blonde thirty years younger.
That's different though, because men are stereotypically successful. Men have stereotypically desired someone who's going to be on their program, someone who's just going to roll with their program, because they're used to getting what they want, Which is why often two powerhouses can be challenging.
Right, which which which which brings it?
I mean, whether you want to or not, doesn't this bring us back to you, do you need another powerhouse or do you want a guy who.
Rolls with your program?
I need another powerhouse for sure.
Okay, because there because I also think that what I've just said is slightly archaic. I think this if someone is a superficial guy that just wants the Bimbo prize. Then that's different. I wouldn't be attracted to that guy anyway. It doesn't matter. But there are a number of very successful smart men that have been through the gold digger young woman that has no purpose program and they want someone to talk to the world is more entrepreneurial than it's been in a long time, and I see men
really wanting to talk about ideas more than ever. Entrepreneurial ideas a concept, and I think that that's hard to do with a dumb dumb that's going to follow your program around. Men can't just get that from other men on the golf course.
I agree. Can we slice that and dice that more? Or am I allowed to?
Sure?
Okay?
So a absolutely positively any man worth his salt wants an intelligent woman who could keep up and lead the conversation. Why I have so much fun talking to you? So like absolutely one true that I think the metaphor I'm using is in his situation and your situation. The reason that you're both mega rich is that you're both the sun. Right, you'll both have your own gravitational pulls, So it's your program.
Like to get on the program with you, we had to reschedule four times because you've got a million things going on. You got more things going on than I do. Right, So another guy who's as busy and takes up as much space as you do, Right, is he going to be the best fit even though he would value you. You could be attracted to each each other, but you might have too much gravitational pull. Might be a guy who's got a little bit less.
I don't want someone. I want someone. I don't want someone in their action era. I want them to be just past their action era, but they find all this completely adorable, like where they just they've done it. They could do it if they want. They're doing it in parts. But I'm not attracted to a man who's as hungry
as I am at all. It's a turn off to me because I still feel I still feel this is the wrong use of the word because you talk about it in your concept, But in some way, I still feel like the intern of mogul life, like I still have some things I'm going to do and pop off. I want someone who's already popped off and secure in the fact that they've popped off big enough that they're
secure in that so they could advise me. They could, you know, be sometimes a dad figure and help me with certain areas of business, which is a role that I sometimes fall into, and I sometimes fall into the mother role someone because I've had guys say to me, oh my god, this is so inspiring and it's making me want to do everything. I don't want a guy on social media, and I don't want a guy who my actions making them want to be living in action.
I do not want that, Okay, And I agree with you, not that it doesn't matters what I have to say about your love life, but I but I agree with you.
That that's accurate.
I also think it makes it more challenging because it becomes even a narrow lane.
Not only the lane. The lane is three people in the whole world to find.
That not only do I need a guy who's as successful as I am, but we need that guy to have stepped off the success ladder and be ready to coast. And a lot of those guys there's a reason that they grind. All they care about is work, power, money, right, And.
I'm man attracted to that guy.
So I didn't say you are.
I'm saying there's a lot of those guys that's why they get so big, is their workaholics.
No, but at a certain age, they're calming it down at a certain age, don't I don't worry as much. I don't worry that much about that. I don't worry about it at all because it is what it is. But then to your point, you know, if you're getting into attachment styles and horoscopes and geography and financial and spiritual and how many kids they have and are they divorced, Yeah, it's a tiny, tiny sample tiny And this person is
not on an app. So this is why I could end up alone because I'm not going to settle so and a lot of women are really really leaning into the alone program because they just don't want to jeopardize their peace. But I'm not putting that out into the universe because I don't want that. I'm just being comfortable in that as a possibility because it's a reality.
I think that is uh.
I'm tho Zen Buddhists, But we do have to have some measure of non attachment. We could desire something, but not put our entire happiness and meaning on the thing that may or may not happen. That it kind of goes for every day. We kind of have to live in limbo. We don't know what tomorrow brings or tomorrow brings you generous with the La Fires, I came this close to losing my house on the La Fires fire
and here fire here that's way bigger than me. If the if the economy tanks because of all the crazy stuff that's going on, you know, it's going to affect all of us.
Nothing I could do about it.
So I think all you could do is, you know, act with integrity, keep on working hard, and put out good stuff to the world that they could trust you and that they want to be with you. I think there's just I'm not an energy woo guy, but there's definitely an energy that you get in exchange from people that either brings you something or drains you. And I think what you're seeing is that a lot of these these controlling, narcissistic guys are just draining.
Yeah, they're tiring.
Yeah, Bud want to walk to the utterm