People talk about midlife crisis, people talk about empty nester. What people don't talk about is the bridge in between. And it's a critical bridge and only someone of a certain age understands this bridge. You cannot explain it. You have to go through it. What does it mean? You're one of the guys that I meet. They're good looking, they're successful, they are wealthy, they're in shape, they're brilliant minded. Their kids are fourteen fifteen, so they are sitting in
a holding pattern. Now they're single. They want a date. They can see the end of the tunnel. You have kids that are thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, Okay, they're going to go to college, but in this moment, they're in purgatory because you don't know exactly what your purpose is. Your kids don't really need you. You could go out of town for a week. They don't really care. They've got their homework, they've got their sports, they've got their friends.
They can cook for themselves, clean for themselves, organized for themselves, pack for themselves, plan for themselves. They understand their calendar, and they are fully functioning beings, which is why in Shakespearean times they were getting married. Okay, so they are humans that make decisions and are almost adults, so your identity is not tied to them anymore. Maybe your kids have gone off to college. You're a fifty five year old man, you're a fifty four year old woman, you're
fifty one. You are not yet an empty nest syndrome, So you don't know what decisions to make because you are aware of the fact that in two three years you could live in Florida, you could go to France.
Your kids are going to college. You know that right now they barely need you, and you could go to France now, but you still have to be home, and you have to be a functioning individual in your home, and you're going to take your kids on the college tours and you go into the softball and soccer and lacrosse games like so you still have to be here in body, but you just basically a driver, housekeeper, errand doer, concierge, planner atm machine. So you're in this purgatory bridge phase.
So you think the decisions you're making like you're going on a date with someone. You're like, yeah, I yes, I do live right now in Des Moines, but in two years my kids will be gone. I could live anywhere I want. I can live into loom in Saint Barts or Africa. You're trying to like make decisions. In addition, you're kind of purposeless for that same reason you're working,
but like you have more free time. You kind of know where you are in your life, and you're just sort of like this body scarecrow that's just putting your arms in different directions to like direct people where to go and what to do. You're just waiting till you get to live your own fucking Ramona Pino Grigio. Move down to Palm Beach, Boca tennis, pickleball, golf club lifestyle. Right, that's what it is, you know. Or you're taking your eat, praying and loving, or you're painting like it's a per
Tory Bridge phase that people don't discuss enough. And people. I know this because I'll meet men that are like so successful and they can do whatever they want. But but I got this, you know, fifteen year old sitting here that hasn't gotten to where he's gonna be yet. So I'm here for this, I'm here for the sports, and I'm I'm in the same fucking boat. I have this Neppo baby caviar eating freeloader that'll be upstairs at three o'clock, just waiting for me to drive her somewhere,
feed her and give her money. I have to give her her allowance today I forgot and tell her where she's allowed to be and what she's allowed to do and what she's allowed to buy and go to her tournaments. Well, she doesn't pay any attention to me, and I sit in my own hotel where while she's hanging out with her friends braiding each other's hair and just like wants me to watch the game. But that's like my only purpose. I'm just like a warm body. So it's something people
do not discuss enough. And dating at this age and stage is interesting because dating at this age and stage is kind of like purgatory. Also, you're just in purgatory and you're trying. We're all saying to each other, like you just don't know where you're going to be, So you're trying to date but in your own community. But you won't have a community because your kids want to go. Like, I've met so many single moms in volleyball, and all of them are kind of just operating for their kids.
But they're not really tied to the places where they are. They're in these places because this is where their kids are going to school. So you're dating, you're dating, it's called dating and waiting. You're dating, but you're waiting not for your final resting place, but for your final nesting place. So I find it to be a very interesting phase.
So there are two dynamics I'm noticing in dating. I'm noticing a desperation in women where there's certain women that I know that'll be texting me, do you know this guy? I have this guy, I went out with this guy? You interested in this guy? They're almost wanting to horse trade.
They are like blood in the water. They want to find someone who's a partner who's going to take care of them, or they're just they know that they still look good, they're working out, but like they've got a bunch of kids, they've got a divorce, they don't have like disposable income, and so now a guy can choose them they're forty eight to fifty three, or a guy
can choose someone in their forties. But this forty year old woman might still have young kids, and this fifty something year old guy who can be nimble and is
almost on his way out. He doesn't want to hang out with the forty year old with the young kids because he doesn't have to, and he definitely could be with the young girl, but she's gonna want to go out and party in the nightclub and he's already done all that, and or maybe he's not interested in that, and he's running a business and he's going to board meetings and he doesn't want to hang out or look stupid like a fool to his ex wife and his
ex community with this young girl who's going in fringe Swayed to Coachella. So now he could be with the thirty year old springe suede Coachella to get the best
blowjob he's ever gotten. But then that girl is pretending she doesn't want to have kids, but she is gonna want to have kids, or he's gonna have to go out and act cool and do molly with her thirty something year old friends when he really doesn't want to, or he does want to while he's experiencing his you know, two old midlife just got divorced crisis where he's gonna smoke pot and do molly and take edibles, but he's gonna get tired of that real quick. That's a cliche.
Or he's gonna be with the one in her forties who either wants to have another kid or has young kids, and then he definitely doesn't fucking want that either, because young kids are worse than being the old guy in the club with the suede molly taking woman. So now he's back to the fifty something year old divorced woman. But she has her kids, and she's got more serious bills and she's not as fun. So what she brings to the table is that she can have a conversation.
She's been through it. She understands the music and the references, and she's relating to the kids of going to college or I've got a kid in high school, or we're talking about where are we looking for colleges or looking for apartments in the city to move them into. She can relate to that. But she definitely has like the three kids, and like the financial drag on his ticket where he just got fucked over by his last wife
and still supports her. So how now he's got to have another person on the payroll, you know, And frankly, the thirty, forty, and fifty. For most women in this country that want a guy who has money, they're going to be on the payroll. So do you want the thirty something swede Molly doing party or that's pretending she
doesn't want kids that really does. Do you want the forty something who has young children that says they don't want to have another kid, or probably does because they're jealous of your ex wife and wants to knit it all together because people are saying you got to get him to have another kid, or they want the financial security of getting him to have it other kid. He wants no part of the fringe swede long term. He wants no part of the young kids long term. He
also wants no part of the fifties. I have three kids, and I'm gonna need you to support my dental bill and support me in some way because I got fucked over in my divorce and I really don't have that much money and I need you for that. I have had a lot of luck and opportunity with men at all stages because at most of these stages, it's about she who makes the goal, makes the rules. You gotta listen to me. It's why you gotta fucking be working. It's why pre wed doesn't work. It's why you gotta
be working, ladies. Because why Because starting in my mid to late thirties, I had some money, not a lot, but I had enough money that I did not need to be on someone else's program. And in my forties, I only had one kid, so I met men that were extremely desirable, but they really liked that I was nimble with one kid and have my own money. And now in my fifties, it's fucking a gold rush for me because I'm meeting men who want to talk to someone who's business minded. I've still got the one kid,
so I'm light and bright. I can fucking pack that suitcase and be anywhere I need to be at any time. And I'm no blood in the water. I don't need them for anything. I don't need them for a house. I don't need them for money, I don't need them for my teeth, I don't need them for business help. I don't need any of them for anything. The rub with me for these men is that they don't want
to date a man. They want to date the dough eyed Bambi on some level with some people, but that's also a dying breed because they've also been with the gold digger, and they are so exhaling because we can have a business conversation. I look decent in a bathing suit, I could pay my own bills, and I'm light on my feet. So the only drag on my ticket is I can't be wherever somebody needs to be because I'm
still here until my daughter goes to college. So while I think I'm fucking busted up and don't understand why I'm an influencer, you know, getting the same deals as thirty year olds, I also understand that because I've created my own financial independence and value in business, that's going a long way with men. Bliss, I'm funny, So whatever you want to take from all of that, you take. But women and men are both going through it okay.
And a lot of these men are emotional disasters. Women get the bad rap for emotional disaster, and I'm just telling you meeting a lot of disastrous blood in the water, desperate women who want to find their next meal ticket. It's giving desperate. It's giving a lot of plastic surgery, a lot of that palm beach star wars bar look a lot of extensions, a lot of nail, a lot of working on the gym, and all of that worked over stuff. I'm seeing a lot of that, all that contour,
all that beatdown from the YouTube makeup videos. I'm seeing that in the Desperado women, because it's fucking rough out there, and you've got to at least find your market. If you're gonna look like a glazed turkey in a short, tight dress, you better get your ass to Boca and Palm Beach or you know, but wherever, like you need to know your audience and where you're supposed to be. Or if you're gonna be over plastic surgery, you need to be in Palm Beach and Beverly Hills. That's not
gonna fly as much. It's gonna be a combo platter in a place like Aspen. So you know, maybe you're gonna do well in the Midwest where there are a lot of wealthy guys but not a lot of those glazed up turkey hot women that might land there, or it might be like an alien. Just figure out where the hell you're supposed to be and where it's not too competitive. Is it Chicago, Is it Philadelphia? Where there are a lot of wealthy men, but the talent is not as competitive as a place like a Miami market
or Palm Beach or Boca. But then again, these men are sick of looking at bimbos Miami, So figure out where the hell you're going to be If you're going to be a barracudah, that's going out there and looking, and also your emotional well being, Like you got to be a fully formed human being emotionally before you go out there, because men are saying, God, is she a fucking beating, she's a train wreck, et cetera. But here's the good news and the bad news. The men are
fucking emotional train wrecks. And that's what no one talks about because men hide there. Crazy women show it on the first date, the second date. Okay, I've told you before, you got to talk about what your attachment disorder is. Are you anxious attachment? Are you disorganized attachment? Are you
attachment avoidant? You know what are you? And that can seem crazy, but if you understand and could diagnose it, that's it's necessary for two people to be in a relationship communicating and understand how they communicate and does someone get anxious if you're not texting back, and what does that look like. But I've met a fair share of men that are a mess. I've met the Catholic guilt disaster mess that's basically paralyzed and can't function because they
don't know how to operate. I've met the anxious attachment where the minute that something gets serious at all, they want it so bad they're according it. They want it. The minute it gets attached or communicative or anything, they fucking they dissolve. They panic. I've met the guy who suffers from anxiety. I've met the guy that suffers from clinical depression. I've met there are a lot of these
men where it's in a different package. You see them, they give strong businessman, but then when you get under the hood, they're a fucking withering mess. And the man that has to go to bed at eight o'clock and is neurotic and doesn't like germs and doesn't like sharing, and you know has you know is a mess about over is a mess about being tired and travel and so like, take your menu out and decide what you
can do and what you can't do. In deal breakers, because you may be fine with someone that wants to go to eight o'clock, or someone who gets super anxious, or someone who's super needy. Maybe you were a nurse in another life. You want to have a patient on your hands and you don't mind it. You know the character in White Lotus, the woman liked the woman with the teeth that got made fun of on Saturday Night Live, which we can unpack later. Her partner. She liked that
he needed her and she was saving him. I don't want to save anyone. I'm not looking for the Jewish patient. Okay, that's a reference to like English Patient, which was movie years ago. But like, decide what you can deal with and what you can't deal with. But by no means are the women going to take over this fucking this helm of being the disasters because men are disasters too. He went to bat to the stern