Just B Dating: I'm Secure and I'm a Grown Ass Woman - podcast episode cover

Just B Dating: I'm Secure and I'm a Grown Ass Woman

Apr 30, 202512 minSeason 4Ep. 39
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Episode description

She who makes the gold makes the rules—Just ask Jennifer Aniston. PS: Please find out if Jennifer used to hang out at Soup Plantation!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Another thing about work.

Speaker 2

Partnerships, lawyers, agents, real estate agents, contractors, designers, construction, admit what you don't know. I run into so many business problems because people are so either insecure or paranoid or think they're going to get fired or in fear and have to prove that they know everything, that they act like they know everything, like you're doing a deal and they just have answers for everything. You're doing this, and they have answers for everything. You're traveling somewhere. They have

to act like they know everything. You're designing something. Nobody knows everything, and don't ever assume anyone's smarter than you. And I like to be surrounded by people, whether it's the president of my company, an agent or representative, a doctor, that will say what they don't know. Of course they should know many things, but they will say what they don't know. A lawyer like I, listen, I haven't seen this before. We will figure it out together. I don't

exactly understand this, what do you think? Or let's all crowdsource and I'll be then we can have a workshop and talk about it. Because most times I'll be like, right, listen, I'm gonna call three people, and it could literally be I'm calling Mark Cuban, I'm calling this big powerhouse, I'm calling Steve Cohen, I'm calling you know some of my powerhouse women that I know, and I'm gonna ask and I'm in a crowdsource and I'll get back to you

and we're gonna figure it out. Or I'm gonna call this lawyer, or I'm gonna call this class action lawyer, or i'm gonna call this one. I'm gonna call this intellectual property. I'll fucking figure it out. If you don't know, you better act somebody, Okay, do not act like you know everything. It's immature, it's insecure, and it's for losers. And as we get into dating sometimes this guy was

this guy on social who gives dating advice. He basically text his own back immediately and said like, I'm not gonna play games and I'm gonna text you back right away because of blah blah blah. And I put in his comments. I was like, dude, you don't need to say all that. You need to be all that. Like if someone texts you in a weird way and they are not responsive or they seem like it could take like twenty four hours, Like I had a guy that had his cadences to text and then like you won't

hear from him again. You'll respond, you may not hear from him for twenty four hours, could be eight hours, could be the next day, and they'll be like, oh, hey, sorry, was that my kids?

Speaker 1

Whatever?

Speaker 2

It's like, really, you don't have fingers. You're a successful person. I know how successful youyre, because it wouldn't be fucking going out with you if you weren't successful. But you don't have fingers in a telephone. Like fuck, you're a fucking loser.

Speaker 1

So I don't care. I dismiss those people because they're fucking losers.

Speaker 2

And I text back right away because I'm a grown ass woman who text back right away. I'm not gonna go if you go jump off a bridge, I'm not jumping off if you go after a moron, I'm not acting like a moron. A text right away because I'm secure and I'm a grown ass woman, and obviously we'll get to where we need to get to. Meaning if I text right away and you go every time four days, you're never gonna hear from me again anyway.

Speaker 1

And I'm like, yeah, anybody got time for this. I'm not.

Speaker 2

And again this is because this person is used to dealing with thirty five year olds. We've talked about that before. So here's what goes on with the thirty five year old or the young women. And here's what goes on why women need to work for their own money. Why you need to have financial independence. I don't give a shit about any of you that are going to be like it's a valuable job to be a stay at home mom, because it is.

Speaker 1

I know that. I agree with that. It's not just a lie.

Speaker 2

It is harder to be a mom and manage multiple children than it is to work and be an entrepreneur. I know all that. All this is true. It is gnarly, it is hardcore. It is a dance. It is organizational hell. It is insufferable. It's very difficult to run a household, to cook, to clean, to have children, to do the costumes, to do it all, to be a wife, to have sex look good, asked and answered. And it's not just a pat like bullshit check the box thing.

Speaker 1

I know that. Here's what I also know.

Speaker 2

Women need to be financially independent so they have options. Something goes sideway. Someone dies as you were married to was lying to you about your finances, or you're just not good at them and you didn't understand them. Somebody loses their jobs, someone gets hit by a car, something happens, God forbid, there's a medical issue, and you guys need fine, you need money, and it's not enough because you weren't planning for this. Something happens, somebody gets arrested. You need

to defend them. Things happen in life that costs money that you didn't plan for. If I've done ten renovations and I know that every single one had unforeseen costs in something that was locked in life has unforseeable costs, So you must plan for a disaster.

Speaker 1

But guess what else? Guess what else?

Speaker 2

If you're dating and you don't have money, and you see the shiny objects and you hear about a great guy. He's super rich, he's a prince, he's a mogul, he's a finance guy.

Speaker 1

He's just rich. He's a doctor, he's got a nice car. Whatever.

Speaker 2

It changes the way you act when you feel like they're running the show because they've got the money. Because guess what, he or she who makes the gold makes the rules. You gotta really understand this is for the moms that have the young daughters, and this is for the young daughters. He who makes the gold makes the rules. And there's a dynamic because I see it all the time with the girls, like panting and waiting around for

the gift. I just heard from someone the other day that said, like the girl would like every time they were going on a date, tell the guy to meet her a store so he could buy her stuff. Like girls are like gasping and guess what else I've been the girl, the broke girl hoping not only that someone would pay the bill, that someone would buy me something. I'm in a store, you're sort of hinting, you're sort of hoping, you're sort of looking, and you feel like

a desperado. And they can feel it and they know it, and it gives them the power. And then it gives them the power in the dating dynamic. With the texting, you're texting back more often and they don't have to because they have the power. They're the ones running the show. They can tell you to be ready in an hour or tomorrow, or where they're going or where we're going on vacation. Why because they run the fucking show, and there's a power struggle, and it ends up being resentment

on all sides. The guy doesn't resent the girl because he doesn't respect the fact that he just says, bark and you bark, sit and you sit, run and you run. And it also becomes boring because the guy wants somebody to talk to. And if your whole identity is just buying shit and you sit with the girls and talk about recipes and shopping, it gets real boring, real fast. So be a woman who has your own money, and

guess what, don't spend it. If you fucking think that with any of the men that I date, I spend money on the date or on the things, you're gravely mistaken. But guess what, I don't need them for the things, and I can buy anything I want. And because of that, I don't want anything, because I know I can. Half the thing is when you can't afford it, you kind of want someone else to get it for you. When you have the money and you can afford it, you

really don't give a shit. As I've said sixty five times, I've gotten rid of like seventy percent of my stuff. I buy shoes on fucking Amazon and then give them to the person that's like you know, at the hotel because I no longer need the flex of the super expensive things to make me feel secure, So I definitely don't need anybody else to buy me the shit. Once you have your own money, you can afford it. You calm down. It's like the money noise. It's like food noise,

but it's money noise. It calms down, takes a while, but you have it. No One else is in control. So when the rich guys that I am thinking off the top of my head text me and they're big baller shop callers, okay, could make your life. We're talking yachts, planes, trains, automobiles. They will text and ask you something and then like you won't hear from them for a day or two. You'll be like, you're fucking in your mind. You're like nobody can and they're in shock that I couldn't care less.

There's no like I'll give a one word answer because I don't care. But I can tell you that if I was thirty seven, broke and needed a guy for anything, I would be panicked. I would have anxiety. I would wonder why they're not texting me, I'd think, oh my god, is this my Is this the one that's gonna take care of me? Is this the one that's gonna save me? Well, guess what, I saved myself. I don't need any of that.

So be that girl. And then if you decide you want to stay at home, great, you have a skill set, you have a nest egg, do whatever the fuck you want, but have options. Options are always good on a menu on a vacation, for business and for your financial security. So I was the other day waking up and I was thinking about Jennifer Aniston. There's no reason why I was thinking about Jennifer Aniston, and how I don't know her. I met her once for one second. She's successful, she's

an actress. She was married to Brad Pitt. She has had an extraordinary career in the sense that she is exceptionally famous and more than other people, not unlike me, actually in ways more than other people. On her show, which was an iconic show, but it was still the one show, and she hasn't had anything else be as

iconic as that show. But like she's the one, it's more well known, and she's Jennifer Anniston, it's just she's an A list star, and she's gotten to be an a list star by wearing her hat the same way every single time and this strapless sheath dress and she's got her own just like way about her. And she has been in relationships and married and never had a kid and is not married and is about my age. I remember once seeing her as a struggling actress before

she was famous at Sue Plantation. If I ever run into her, I'm going to just say, will you can someone? Just can the internet just ask her? Did she use to go to sup Plantation? Because I'm pretty sure it was her, And she had a look like she looked like a Hollywood actress before she was, and I always remembered her, and like later when she became her, I was like, I think I used to see that girl at supe Plantation. I just need someone to ask her. So I wonder if the Internet tries to impose on No,

I don't wonder. I know like she probably got to a point in her life where she was like, I don't think I want this anymore. If she wanted to have kids, she could have had a kid on her own. She didn't want to have a kid, she didn't want to be married. And I'm finding that there are so many women my age who it's not that they can't, they don't want to, and society for different reasons. They're younger, they don't know like, oh wow, it's weird, weird she

never had a kid, weird she never got married. It's not weird, it's what she wanted. And also, like or people her own age that are married, they either are so happy they can't imagine she doesn't want what they have, they're so bored they want company, or they're miserable and they just like want to act like it's the only thing going. And I'm not saying she's happy, and I'm

not saying she's unhappy. I'm just saying for some reason, she came up as someone who's done it her way, and I know that she could have gotten married and could have had a kid. And the headline is that like the world and the internet imposes what they think.

Speaker 1

People should have to be happy.

Speaker 2

And I think, I bet she just is living the life that she wants to live. And they are women that I meet my age all the time that are like, I don't want someone fucking with my peace, like I don't want it. It's very popular for everyone to impose what they think we should want. I'm not there yet.

Speaker 1

I'm not saying I don't want it, but the thought has occurred to me. The thought has occurred to me.

Speaker 2

Like I find myself now in the ozembic of dating, where it's like I don't know the appaths, I don't care. Yes, I went out with a really nice guy on Friday, successful, beyond your wildest dreams, tall, funny, nice whatever. Has text he wants to get together again, but he's not frothing, just like a normal text exchange. And to say that I'm not frothing, I've finally gotten to the anti frothing stage. I don't really care. I don't even really care if

I like you do, I not care. Like the days of like getting fixated, obsessed, like And that's the thing that's where a lot of people are our age.

Speaker 1

And so if there's there are women who are dating.

Speaker 2

People my age, ish, you gotta know that the person my age doesn't really give a fuck.

Speaker 1

They really don't. They just don't give a fuck,

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