So I hard launched this weekend, and I want to discuss that a little bit, because things on paper are different than things in reality. So in my history, I've had private relationships. I had a full, over a year relationship with someone that was very serious while I was on The Housewives. When I came back, this person was very wanted to be very private, and some stuff came
out about them just as a result. Because if you see us on the beach, someone's going to say who someone is, and no matter what, inevitably somebody's going to come out. Now, people like Ryan Goslin and Ava Mendez or Harrison Ford and Calisa Flockhart or Kim Kardashian and the guy she's with now, the race car driver. She's not saying it like the paparazzi's getting pictures and a story is being told.
She's not saying anything. And she who has had Reggie.
Bush on her show, Kanye and her show, Pete Davidson on her show, She's definitely going through that discussion in her mind as well about what to share. Chris Jenners had Corey on the show. There are so many different iterations of this. Kristin Cavaleri did a show with Jay Cutler.
Then she dated the younger guy and kind of discussed it, like you go through these waves, Tory and Dean, like you go through these waves of what you're going to discuss and not look at Courtney and Travis, Like they were so public about affection because they're in love and they want to show people machine Gun Kelly and Meghan, and then something happened and then that went wrong, like because people bring you in and then they can't just
spit you out when it goes down. So j Lo and Ben brought everybody in like he didn't really, but she did. She kind of included everyone and talked about it and gushed about it because she was excited. And there's an adrenaline too that it's almost like the way that oxytocin makes you so like into someone and like hormones, et cetera. Like you're excited and you just when you're in the bubble, in the love bubble, you don't think anything could ever go wrong, right, So there's a whole
discipline to it. Also, like someone like a moll and George, I mean, actually he does discuss the relationship. He does say they do tell their story and how in love they are, and then other people never discuss it. Like I said, a Ryan or Eva, they never even go in a red carpet together. You'd never see their kids. There's so many different iterations, but also there are so many different iterations to fame.
Like Ryan and Ava are quiet.
Until they're doing a movie, and then they have to promote the movie, but it has nothing to do with their relationship. They can have a normal life, you know, Julia Roberts and Danny Motor normal life. But when they first got together and he had an issue with his ex wife, Julia, I remember wore like a T shirt about it. Like it's just like you go through these sort of phases of privacy, non private, and there are different types of talent. I share a lot with my audience.
I don't share everything. I am a very private person. I am a very secretive person in many ways. I just protect myself and the people around me. When I was on reality television show, it was my job to do that. And also I had a show that was supposed to be about my business and then it ended up becoming about a wedding I was planning, and I was trying to fight the current, but it was just so hard to do because it was just what was going on, and it's just it's not the way that
it would seem like. You could be like, why would you show that? Why would you include that? The game moves quickly, so let me explain it to you in my life with a launch. So, I am never attracted to someone who is a public person. I am only attracted to someone who has a small following, if any, doesn't really use social media unless it's just private or for their business, or not at all.
Mostly not at all. I'm not attracted to.
Someone who has ever been on a red carpet or is a public person. Not because there can only be one peacock. It's because I just find it to be a turnoff, and I find a lot of what I do to be a turnoff. But also I found my way into this. I did not ever want to post. I didn't understand why someone would post if they were eating or where they were. When Twitter came out, I was like, what the hell? It just seemed so crazy, But then it became a business, and as a business
I really understand it. But then also as a creative expression, I really really really understand it like as a way to share humor, and people want to peek into my life and bring them with me. And people don't get to go to amazing places and trips and stuff.
I want to include them.
Okay, So now enter me dating, and I'm talking about dates that go wrong and go right. Enter me dating and try to convince men that, like, I do have a private life and it is separate because it is, and I kind of share what I want and people are hesitant. They don't know what that animal is going to be like. As Tim Dillon, the comedian said, fame is the great destabilizer. Like, you make a lot of money, it will definitely fuck some other people up and they'll
think of you differently. But you become famous, it just is a destabilizer. People want different things from you. It's just a different currency. People grab at you, say they dated you, went on a date with you. You know, everyone just sort of like wants to contact high. So now you start dating, and I'm not going to discuss what I'm doing right now, but I remember dating this guy who was a private person and didn't like the public aspect of it, but fell in love with me. And
that's kind of What's happened time and time again. Someone falls in love with me, and the public aspect of it is a byproduct.
They don't want it.
And really most of these people don't want it. The people that I choose, they don't want it. It's not like, oh they're with her firm money or they want I've gotten my picker has gotten much better. I've done the work I took like a year off. I have been really intentional about dating. And I don't mean that i've been intentional. I've gone through phases where it's intentional I want to meet someone, then I've gone through intentional meeting. I'm not going to spend any time on anything unless
it could be something otherwise I'd rather be alone. And that's kind of where I've come to. So I was dating this guy and it was serious. He fell in love with me despite the public. And we were at REO's one night and we were with a bunch of my friends, and I wasn't posting him at all. I would be posting myself and what I'm doing and the drink. But what happens is we're going to interesting places and
doing interesting things with people. People are coming up to me and this person next to me becomes sort of invisible. It doesn't matter how good looking they are, how successful they are, how big fish in their own pond they are, they become invisible, which is why fame is the great destabilizer.
I was once with a guy and I brought them to Mark Barnett's house, and they're big fish in their pond, and they just people would like look past them, like hand them a camera to take a picture of us, look straight at me, and it makes me feel self conscious. I have made rules because the person with me in the beginning will hold the camera and be like so nice. I'm like, no, you're not a photographer, Like respectfully, I'll
handle it. I'll decay, let's take a selfie. Like I don't want the person next to me to feel like they're my photography assistant. And I also don't want them to be invisible. So you have to be a very secure person to be with someone that's famous. And you could be the best looking, best athlete, richest everything, and you're with someone who's famous, and you're gonna be like, wow, okay, so think about me. I have a big personality and charismatic.
I know everybody I move a lot of product. People want to piece to me. So I've had that happen. So now I'm at REO's with this other guy and I'm taking pictures and he's like, no, you can include me in the picture. Like he wants to be in the picture because he doesn't want to be this invisible weirdo when in his life he's a big personality. So what happens is a person that I'm with without I
won't ever share anybody else's truth. But like in a situation where I'm now like I am in something, Okay, I'm in something, do you have to.
Promise you that?
Like, you know, do I want to fully include you? So then you know it's more pressure on us and that you could say, oh he'll be gone or I hope he has a lot of money, or she'll dump him, or she's crazy or she goes through that every minute.
Like I'm a fifty five year old woman. Have I dated?
Yes? Has every man that I've dated dated the same number of people that I have?
Yes? So fuck off?
Okay, So there's that, But like every relationship is not guaranteed to last forever, Like every relationship I've been in when I'm in love like what I love it to last forever.
Yes, you know, are there a lot of factors in life? Yes? Do I have a daughter? Yes? Do I live in Florida? Yes.
I I'm just saying to you that, Like, there's a pressure to launching and you could keep everything private, but there's also a pressure to making someone be like your plus one and not including them when they have a family, they have friends, they have people who have comments and thoughts, and their life changes too once a paparazzi gets us and it becomes public and people are speculating, They're getting text people reaching out to them, people want things from them.
They have a lot to navigate too. They need to be coached through this too. They don't understand this life right, and so you're trying to be a partner. There does come a point where that other person would like to not be the invisible person. Okay they're not saying it, but you just feel you just know it, and you're also proud and you want to show the person that you're with that they mean something to you and that they're not just like because someone comes up to me
at a dinner. Men come up to me and they think I'm single, and they don't think take this seriously, you know, And like through my dating community, people are talking to the woman who runs it and saying, like, what about Bethany, And they don't. You know, I have a guy that I used to date that he said to me, until you're married, I'm not gonna believe it, like you're my person, and I'm like, no, I'm with someone. So you're trying to like validate what you're doing, right,
And so for me, that's what a launch is. It doesn't mean like I'm going back to the reality show every day, let's share everything that I'm doing, or everyone's
gonna be in every TikTok. I'm just saying, when you're somewhere and you're at a concert and you're roller skating and you're doing something thing, you kind of want to show your people that bought you your house, bought your products, connect with you, make you laugh, were there for you, and you had a miscarriage when your mom died, Like you want to share a little with them, and you don't want to get burned because of it. You're trying
to navigate not getting burned because of it. So it's like a dance to decide what to share, and I try to navigate it, and you're dealing with I'm much just dealing with you guys and what to share with you. I'm dealing with what to share with my partner and like people on my team trying to like shoot video but then cut somebody out or you know, there's just a lot. And also if someone sees a video that they were in and you just like cut them out,
and they might want to share with their friends. They might be on a private account and want to share what we did because that's what they normally do. Now they're going to hide me Like It's just not everything that you would think. So I'm not complaining. I'm just explaining. So this weekend at a roller rink, I did a post that said if a launch is hard, then this is a diamond, meaning this is a very hard launch.
And I was happy I did it and it was fun.
It was just us skating, and I don't want to, you know, get into too much detail, and I really don't want to share it too much. It is personal. I don't want to get go down that rabbit hole. But I just want to say that I'm in a good place. I am happy. I'm at peace and very intentional, meaning I'm not settling. I'm completely choosing different things than I ever did before. I've done the same thing over and over. My friend Louis says to me, bethany rock
stars need rock stars. He's like, you've gone out with the same guy over and over. This was months ago, and I want to see you with a rock star.
And so.
That's all I'll say about that right now. But I just wanted to give you some context. I had the best weekend ever. It was my daughter's sixteenth birthday, sweet sixteen. She's in the middle of finals. It's different than when we were younger. They have two weeks off because they have a five hour final, like they are studying. I mean, her college will be so easy. And she has a discipline that I never had. I mean, when I tell you this kid, I don't tell her to do one
bit of homework. If she said, mom, let's go to Italy for three days and get past that, I would take a rite. I would get on a plane today. Okay, I am the worst influence. Like she is self motivated. She sits for hours. She won't go out to dinner on the weekends. She wouldn't even celebrate her own birthday except for one dinner with me and a friend of hers came over late night to exchange presents. She'll have
a party next week. But she is so disciplined. She is so incredibly disciplined, and her birthday was just lovely. It was just the two of us, And you really do have to take that time without the phone, sit down and like your kid will tell you about their friends, their boyfriends, their life. Like it's just the quality versus the quantity is so important. My kid has been home for a week, and I have been traveling more than usual,
and I will be traveling more than usual. I have to go to New York for something for Sports Illustrated. I come back and then I'm going to another country for some stem cell thing. And I've been dating, and so it's been different. But when I'm here and like we just have like a meal or like go get frozen yogurt, it just feels so meaningful. I love this time.
I love this relationship. I love that my daughter's birthday is on the same weekend as Mother's Day because my daughter broke the chain for me, the generational trauma.
All of it, and then my Mother's Day.
I treat it the way that I like my birthday to go, but it lands better with Mother's Day. Being in Florida has been great for me. I woke up with the man I'm seeing. We took a nice beach walk. We swam in the ocean a bunch. We're both very aligned and compatible with the things that we like to do, and we just swam on the ocean a ton. Taking my beach walk is healing for me. And then we all went to brunch with my daughter at this place that's like casual but special. So it's excellent food, but
like you're wearing casual clothing, you know. I was wearing a cute cover up and bathing suits. We were going to the beach. I was wearing a hat. Like I liked that we were going somewhere to celebrate it. But it wasn't all stuffy, you know. It wasn't all stuffy, And just like let's go in the car to go to a Broadway show, to go to a meal, to sit at a restaurant. It was like, let's go to
this cute casual place. Then Brent was driven home by my friend and she came home to study, and then I stayed at the beach club all day with this man and we were playing backgammon and swimming and I was just listening to music and just laughing. Then we came home and he made us dinner, like the most amazing dinner. I can tell you that I've never had a man cook me dinner before. Never, And I'm not
gonna blame all men for that. I'm gonna say I partially because probably like I didn't want them to, I didn't trust them too.
I don't know.
This man gave me such thoughtful gifts and cooked such a spectacular dinner that I was in shock, and so was Brent, because I was worried that it would be like Brin wouldn't love it, and she'd be like, oh, then she wouldn't eat it, and then this feelings about would be hurt. I don't know, I don't know what the hell. I didn't even know this person could cook or do half the things that they can do because they're so humble. This meal was like it was insane, Like I'm still shocked.
And then like.
Watched a little bit of sports with them, watched a movie, had some ice cream, went to yogurt with Brynn.
She was studying like it was just a.
Lovely, beautiful week and the dog slept in the bed as they do. But like, what a beautiful mother's day, What a beautiful mother's day, birthday the weekend, I'm rested. I also want to let you know I haven't been drinking for like a week. The carbone f one weekend literally took me out. It was just too much activation, too much transacting, too much, too much, consuming, too much food,
too much talking. I get overloaded, I get activated, I get overstimulated, and I just took it down because I want to be healthy for this next little supermodel era I've got going. And I have to say, in many cases I've thought it was boring and I didn't notice a difference. Not drinking is affecting the quality of my sleep. I mean, I know you guys know this, but like that is something to think about.
I have the or ring.
Even though I think I sleep a lot, I still only get between five and last night was a record six hours a night. It's insane, Like I sleep six hours and I feel like I slept twelve. I would have guessed twelve because I went about at eleven thirty. I woke up at seven something and I thought it's eight hours, like I just would have always been like I got eight hours of sleep, but somehow like it wasn't real sleep.
I wasn't sleeping like the or ring says six hours.
I don't know, but I know that I'm sleeping better and it feels cleaner, and it's not as I'm not sweating as much, and it's not like it just you feel better, you just feel cleaner. This time, I really notice it. Last night I had a bunch of wine
and I'm been going out and I've been dancing. But like the balance of being happy is I'm so happy, I'm having so much fun and I'm not sleeping enough, and like I'm aware of that, but I really do struggle with like the balance between like happiness and being RESTful. Like I didn't drink for a year and a half and I was kind of like bored.
I was in Greenwich. I was sort of depressed.
I so like that can't be better for me than like dancing, having sex, like party, having fun, being social, getting dressed up, being cute. Like I don't know, happy has to win, right, all those people that live to like a hundred, they're like happy.
I don't know that.
They're like I sat and was vegan and drank fucking water for a year.
I don't know.
I don't know, but I am in a good place. I am in a good place. And I struggle with what to share with you in my personal romantic life because I get excited and I want to tell you what's going on, but I also want to preserve my privacy and other people's privacy because we've seen it go sideways. So let's just say I'm very happy, and that I've told myself I wouldn't fully commit to anyone unless I was going to marry them. Like I've told myself that I took like a year off. It was a little
less than a year from dating. And in starting the CORE, I practice what I tell everyone else to docticing when I'm preaching and sticking to intention, Like it's actually helped me. So, for example, there are people in the CORE and like we're saying there's no bread crumbing, and we're saying you can't just like be a pen pal. We're saying you can't be duplicitous and have two things going on we're saying you have to be intentional, you have to like
want it, work for it, et cetera. And so in my dating, whether meeting someone through the core or not, I have really really adhered to that. So there's a moment. And by the way, all the rules are kind of bullshit, Like the more you think something through, it's kind of bullshit. Most of you who are in relationships realize that, like when things have happened, they probably weren't supposed to happen. I mean, there's a person who I was serious about that I reached out to at mid at eleven o'clock
at night and said, I'm about to overserve myself. It's like feels like a Chelsea Hammler story. And then we started like dating. Like it was like, that's not the way someone meets you at a club when you're with your friend and to chaperone and you stay about to overserve myself. You don't even think anything of the person. You wake up the next morning, you forget you even met the person, and then they reach out to you, You go on a date, and then you like are
dating them. Like that's not the way things start. But that's why energy and chemistry is important, and like being
awake and alert to the signs is important. But nevertheless, the one thing that has always served me is in the moment when I'm not feeling comfortable or getting what I need, finding a way to land it in a non desperate, in a confident way, saying like this, just letting you know, this is what I'm looking for, this is what I want, And if you're not looking for that, I understand, but this is what I expect in even dating or friendship or like, there is a way to
land getting what you need. You can't survive in anything if you're not getting what you need.
Now.
You don't have to rush everything on the first day. You don't have to like ask so much to propose on the first day. But you can get exactly what you need if you if you find a good, tactful
way to ask for it. And that's the thing about the core, Like you wouldn't stay in something if someone was treating you exactly the way you deserve to be treating you, being transparent with you, aligning with you, like intentional, like and the other thing I'll say, I'm really finding that it's not that age is just a number.
It is a fact.
But time and time again, I've gone out with men that have fallen in love with me, literally that have been with either before or after me. Women twenty years younger, okay, twenty years younger than me, Like in some case now I don't think it could be that they could be my daughter. Yeah, someone twenty years younger than me could be my daughter. But like they are dating people twenty years younger than I am and still have much stronger
feelings for me than them. So don't get caught up in like looks and age and things like that, Like, you're amazing at any age. It's about your attitude. It's about your spirit, your happiness, your how you present yourself. Like I have just unintentionally redefined age for a lot
of people. So I'm hearing like when I went to the Sports Little party last night and the you know, the women who were in the show are like in their twenties, and one of the women who works at Sports Illustrated, she was like every.
Younger mom, older mom, pere mom.
Everyone was like when you walk that show, holy shit, like you redefined like being a mother and a woman. And I was like, I did not know that I was old, Like no one told me, no one sent me the memo that I was old. I'm not self deprecating,
and I don't mean to say it that way. I'm just saying, like, by definition, people were so shocked by the way that I walked that runway, not just because of how I look, but because of the confidence, because oh my god, that's fifty five, And like, no one told me that I was fifty, Like, I didn't know that that was old. So I was the most surprised of anybody. I'm like, why is everyone making such a big fucking deal. Why is everyone making such a big
fucking deal. Like it's not that I mean, maybe it is all I have no idea, but like it's the same thing with being a man or a woman in business. No one ever told me that, like I was supposed to be handicapped because I was a woman like that, I would you know, Like, oh my god, what are the struggles being a woman in business? Like I don't know how to think about them. I wasn't born a dog. I was born a woman. This is what I have.
I walked down that runway.
They gave me the gig, So I walked down the runway as a fifty five year old woman, I didn't know to be like, wait, oh my god. I mean I did think I was gonna wear like a respectful bathing suit of mom bathing suit because I was trying to be respectful, to like my age and not be like a desperado. And then someone hands me a fucking thong and I wore it, which is insane because never in my life if I ever worn a thong. But
there's a time and a place for everything. I guess my ex dentist who passed away, he said, a woman must know when to hang up her thong.
I don't.
Well, maybe they do, but I don't know when that is