Fiancé finances put wedding plans on thin ice

You are now entering the court of Judge Gina Leano.

Weddings can create drama between the very people they're supposed to be uniting for life. If you have an argument with your fiance that you once settled, once and for all, you come to my courtroom. I am Judge Gina, and my decision is final. You better be ready to hear my ruling. A marriage is the union of two equals in love. But what happens when the planning of the wedding is unbalanced? Partners in love are not always partners

My name is Nicole Shooter and I have come to Judge Gina today because I want a wedding planner. My fiance, Matthew, does not want a wedding planner. He is DIY saves money wherever he can.

I want to spend the money elsewhere, like a honeymoon. We currently don't have a budget for a honeymoon.

I like to get professional to do it and get it done and get it done properly.

My relationship with Ni Carl has been a long one.

We were dating for thirteen fourteen years before we got engaged.

I met Matthew when I was in year ten, Matthew was in year eleven. He walked into the room and it was kind of love at first sight, and we.

Are having a relatively short engagement, which is what we both want.

I want a wedding planner because I want to take the stress off myself, a mental load. I want to have someone there to support us on this journey. I've never planned a wedding before, so I just need that extra support.

I'm hoping the outcome today is that Gina realizes we don't need a wedding planner.

You know, were mostly of the process.

We've done most of the organizing ourselves.

So hopefully the outcomes in my favorite that we don't need a wedding plan.

Court is now in session. Please rise for Judge Gina.

So, Nicole and Matt you're here today, and Nicole, you have a claim against matt who is your fiance. Is that correct?

Correct?

Okay? And you're wanting to be compensated one three hundred and thirty three dollars for three and a half weeks off work prior to your wedding? Is that right?

Correct?

Okay? So I'm going to start with you, Nicole, just because you are the applicant. How did you meet and how did your relationship with Matt begin?

So? We met back in two thousand and eight.

I was in year ten and I at that time decided that I wanted to be a sport teacher.

I thought I wanted to be a sports teacher.

Stick with the facts, please, okay?

Im him in year ten? Matthew was in year eleven.

Okay, in two thousand and eight. Correct, you met then? And when did you start dating?

Four weeks later?

Okay? And when did you get engaged?

October?

October twenty two. And are you living together?

Yes, we are?

And when did you move in together?

What?

Three years ago? Can we build a house? Dreams ago?

Yeah? Three? Three? Four years ago?

Okay? So you dated for twelve years before you moved in together.

Correct. We did long distance for four and a half of those years.

So, Matt you proposed Nicole in October last year. Tell me about the proposal. How did you do that? Did you buy a ring? First of all?

Yeah, So I bought him in Tasmania about a month before I met Nicolo over in La over there doing a bit of study for a little while, and I come over for a month.

We went to Vegas for five days.

That could have saved you a lot of money. You know, you could have just got married there.

I know we're stupid.

We should off.

Yeah, could have saved you a lot of money.

But go on.

We went to what do we do?

We went to a circus, the Michael Jackson Show that finished at around eleven thirty or something at night, and I knew at midnight the Bellagio Hotel fountain fire works go off at midnight. So then I knew that if I could get there before midnight when the water fountains all went off, that would be a pretty good moment. So it started going off, and then I got down on one knee. I think Nicole turned around and noticed that I wasn't standing up and looked down. She looked shocked. Yeah,

Fair bit and then what did you say.

Will you marry me? I didn't say a lot.

And she obviously said yes because now you're planning your wedding.

Yeah, I said are you serious about twenty five? Fifty times before I actually said right.

So he wasn't convincing his response to the first twenty five questions.

I sometimes he would come home and like pretend he was going to do it and just like joke. So I was like, oh my god, it's actually like.

You're amazing, Matt. That's a very mean thing.

I saw the ring and I was just like, oh my god, is this a joke?

So I just want to know what do you love about each other? Nicole? Three words to describe Matt? What do you love about Matt?

His humor, he's kind and yeah, he's just he's just cuddly and he's like a big teddy there cudly, he's like a teddy bears.

And what about you? Matt? Three words to describe Nicole? Why you love her?

She follows a dreams. Yeah, I've never had the answer.

That's there, you go. You never be married first time? For everything?

We get along, We actually do get along with.

Yeah, what other word would you use? To describe her word. Yeah, passionate, passionate. Okay, there you go. So you love each other and this is going to be a beautiful thing, and you put money aside between the two of you for this wedding. Who's paying? You're saving for the wedding? Now? Trying to both and are you both working?

Yes, we're both working?

Okay, Nicole? What do you do?

So I'm a hairdresser and a dance teacher.

And what about you, Matt?

I manage an aquatic center.

And do you sort of earn the same income?

Oh, you earn a bit more than me, Yeah, a little bit, a little bit more.

Where are you getting married in Pasmania? All right? And how many guests? Eighty two, one hundred eighty two, one hundred guests? And how far off is your wedding?

January twenty twenty?

What's next year?

Twenty twenty four?

What's your budget for the wedding?

There was never really a budget. There's just a figure that it's come to and then that's how budget.

What's it per head?

Are we charging people per head?

Are you charging possibly? Yeah, you're going to charge your guests to come to your wedding, But.

We don't want gifts or nothing, because we don't need anything.

You want to charge them? How much are you going to charge them per head?

About fifty dollars ahead?

Are you serious?

Yeah, it's a new thing.

It's in thing that is the normal thing in tasma.

Yeah, absolutely, in gifts and stuff. Now you just charge it per head at the wedding because everything's so goddamn.

Expensive, So you're thinking about fifty works ahead, okay, just.

To cover a little portion. I mean we're putting on everything, food, wine.

Drink, fifty dollars ahead. It's only going to be five grand.

Yeah yeah, but that covers the food, so it's just.

Like a token contribution.

Yeah, okay, this is a gift in that, like, we don't need gifts that we'd rather have a little bit of money come off the wedding because we're obviously trying to save it.

Have you had a quote from a wedding planner or coordinate?

Yes?

And what do they want to charge you?

Three thousand dollars okay?

Yeah, So tell me what you've organized so far. Have you got your photographer yes? And you've got your.

Music yes, music's the most important.

And you've got your flowers no? So you need flowers. Have you got your celebrant?

No?

What is there left to do now that a wedding planner would do.

The color, the style?

Well, no, you're going to pick the color. You're going to pick the style. Have you got bridesmaids?

Yes, I've got to do brides I've got seven, stupid I do.

But that's just one dress and you buy seven of them.

Yeah.

I don't think I really want to do that. I think we want to do different styles because we've got you know.

Yeah, but your wedding plan is not going to do that.

No, she's not going to do that.

Have you got cars?

No, we don't have cars.

So you need flowers, a celebrant and cars.

We don't need cars.

We need signs, signings like welcome to the wedding, welcome to the bar.

And Matt, what do you say about a wedding planner.

Well, I say it's getting to the point where it's getting a little bit expensive and we need to probably have the hard conversation and where to cut things.

And for me, this is the first to go.

All right. What about the question of who should organize the wedding? Matt, you say that Nicole should do it not a wedding planner.

No, no, no, no, we should both do it. But if we're both equally doing it, you don't need a.

Wedding planner, Okay, But are you equally doing it? Is the question.

I'd say, I work more, she's got more time.

No, that's not what I'm asked on the laptop. No, I'm asking you, are you equally doing it? Your answer is no, In.

Terms of what free time we have, i'd say, ye.

No, that's not what I asked you, because then you're just pardoning off some of them, some of the responsibility to someone else because you think that she's got the time to do it. So my question to you is, are you sharing the risk on's ability of the wedding planning equally.

The stuff I'm allowed to do?

Yes, what does that mean? What does that mean?

I don't think there'd be there'd be no trust there to let me pick flowers or decorations, colors, et cetera.

Right like that, But it's not something you would discuss together. Go, oh, the bridesmaids, maybe they can wear green? What color all that sort of thing? What colors are you referring to? Like the decor in the venue.

Yeah, whatever decorations.

Did you choose the venue together?

Ye? Yes?

And what about all the other plans that you have in your life, buying a car, buying a house, did you do all those things together together?

Yeah? We just we designed and built our house together.

Right, Okay? So what do you want Matt to do?

Support me?

Have done?

And I wanted to organize it, organize what?

There's nothing to organize as you lock.

Them in, like you know when I like doing the research, but then as for actually like making a decision, a final decision and then have like having the back and forth email. Can you get me a quote? Can you get this? How much do you call?

Are you sharing this information with Matt?

Absolutely?

Okay? And Matt, do you feel like you've been left out of the loop at all in relation to these decisions?

No, I feel like we've been doing it pretty well and then and then all of a sudden, Oh, there's a third party we have to pay to do the two percenters?

Okay, thanks Matt. So I'm not convinced that you equally sharing the responsibility of this wedding planning. So, Nicole, what sort of thing have you done so far? And what sort of thing has Matt contributed so far. I want to know a breakdown, all.

Right, So I've done the budget plan. So I've done a detailed budget.

I contacted vendor caterers. Yeah, okay, not a vendor like zin you're going to have a caravan out the front and everyone can queue up and get a sevlaki. Not that sort of vendor. We're kind of going to do wood five semi okay. So this is a casual kickup with heels affair.

It's a casual cocktails.

It's a casual, well planned out wedding. It's very detailed, but casual.

Okay, what's the dress code. Let's get the vibe here. What's the dress code?

The dress code is like a little bit beach here, a little bit cocktailly, but like have a good.

Time, like bikinis with a high heel. No, is that the sort of thing?

Absolutely not cover up?

What's a beach in a cocktail? I have been to the beach in High Hills, by the way, just for the record.

It's cut. It's like in this estate where there's the beach down the road and it's a little bit rustick and a bit edgy, and it's got like a Byrony Bay kind of vibe.

And will the ceremony happen at the venue or do guests have to move?

Yeah, there's an open air chapel at the venue where we will be getting having a ceremony.

So you'll have this ceremony there and then everybody kicks on and has pizzas on the beach with high heels and a cocktail dress.

On at the venue and not in a bikini. Absolutely not right?

Okay, So you've got musicians, photographers of your organized music music.

I've been doing mood board after mood board, getting colors, designs, making sure everything matches in what's and.

You're enjoying that? Is that something that you in your element? Do you feel that you're in your element doing this?

I enjoy the creative side and I love doing colors and pitying and this and that.

So, you know, I think in most situations there's got to be a driver. Would you agree with that? Someone's got to sort of, you know, manage it. So even if you did get a wedding plan, someone would have to instruct her or him. Yes, would you agree with that? Yes? Who would do that? Would you do that? Naturally?

Nicole I'm happy to instruct, but as for like actually like making the decision, having that support someone that is necessary.

Okay, So if you were to instruct a wedding planner, you would tell them who the vendors were, the florist, the flowers, you like, what music, the type of photographer. So you would be actually giving them the information.

Giving them the vibe and the tone.

Sounds a little bit like the horse might have bolted.

Here, no, no, because she feels in the gaps.

And then she's going to say no, that's a stupid idea, or that's a good idea, or you're missing this, or that's not going to work, or that's not going to gel.

And so you want some professional feedback.

I want the professional. I can't hear I'm a professional at that, and someone comes to me because I'm the professional. That's what I'm there for. I'm planning an event, or we're planning an event for eighty two hundred people. I need the professional to lead the way because I've never done it.

So you're about a third of the way, though it sounds like to me when you're planning already.

Two thirds No. On the day stuff is probably what you're concerned about.

Yeah, it's also too on the day, Like she comes and runs the day and sets up and does everything.

So I can just relax and I don't have to chase up the people.

But don't you have isn't there someone at the venue who does that?

Yeah? No, I'll be there.

No, you're not going to do that, Matt. So you're the groom. You've got to be part of the wedding. Is there not someone? Is there not a matre d or a manager at the venue. I don't know if you know this, but I am actually a marriage celebrant and I do many weddings. I've done about eighty weddings since twenty eighteen, and so I know how these things work. So usually we would have someone at a venue who coordinates things so that they don't need to worry about it.

I don't think we are, because I emailed and there's she was very blasse, and I was like, she's not, Like she's not the profession here, Like at least if I get the wedding planner, I know that she's going to set it up. She's going to be down at the Sarah money and she's going to know what I actually want or we want, or I shouldn't say I what we want, and she's going to make sure it goes to a planned The wedding people there just for themselves.

WHOA, all right? So currently your claim is that you've spent on one hundred and thirty three hours ye preparing this absolutely? Yeah today over what period of time? Is it like eight hour days or.

A bit excess in October?

Hang on, Matt, I'll get to you, Nicole. I just want to hear, and then I'm going to get Matt's feedback.

Been October since we got engaged. The next day, I was on the laptop looking at a venue.

And so have you been sort of keeping a running tally here of how many hours? How did you work that out?

Yeah?

I'm averaging at least an hour a day on wedding stuff.

One hour a day, yep, whether it's a.

Yeah, actually pretty much is my lunch Breakay.

Wouldn't you spend an hour a day talking to a wedding plan or I mean, she's not just going to miraculously come up with these or the flowers or you're gonna have to talk to it.

Yeah, I have to chat to it obviously. Yeah, we'd have to have a conversation.

I'm going to come over to you, Matt now, So what do you say about the cost? Why have you said no? Why are you leaving all this work up to Nicole?

Well, half the value in a wedding planner has we've done ourselves. That's why I think we've done three quarters of the work.

But that's because you said no in the first place.

No, it this was an afterthought, right, this was down the.

Journey, right that you've talked about getting a wedding planner. I don't believe that. Somehow, I can't imagine that it would just be a revelation. Nichole's woken up one morning gone, oh bloody hell, this is too hard. I should have had a wedding plan And Matt, what do you think? And you said no.

She had a breakdown after a couple of months of doing this, right after booking a venue.

I can see her laughing. Somehow, I don't think it was a breakdown, but go on, oh.

No, it was absolutely breaking. I said, there's no walking down this eye if I don't get a wedding planner. I need one.

So you say it was halfway through Nichole's had a bit of a break down, so she's thought, okay, we should get a wedding planner, and you said, well, you've done half or three quarters of the work. There's no point now we're trying to keep the costs down. Is that would that be fair to say?

Absolutely?

Okay? So I want to know out of the photographer, the music, the flowers, the venue, what have you done?

I picked and spoke to the photographer. Yeah, that was I did.

That's a videographer.

Videographer? Sorry?

Will you have a DJ or someone playing music?

Yeah, we have a we have a two piece band, who does a DJ set?

Who organized that?

We both did?

You both did?

I'll come on, we both picked it.

Okay. When you say pick, I do all the research and come to you with things and then you just go, yep, book it after I've done a Will.

You do all this when I'm at work?

Okay? Is this usual for you to to not see eye to eye or is this an unusual thing?

Depends on the topic.

When it's cost saving stuff, yeah, I push it pretty.

Hard, and I think just pay the professional and get it done.

If you don't want a wedding planet to organize at least the day, who's going to make sure everything runs smoothly so that you two can focus on your wedding, on exchanging vals and having fun.

Well, if I thought maybe the job of an MC could do that as well. All they're going to do is point the food truck in the right direction and the band and.

It sounds to me like you've taken control of the whole thing. Would that be fair to say, Matt, that Nicole's actually the driver here her ideas? I think it's not unusual. There's usually one person who's doing it, and even if it's a shared load, someone will take on the mental load. Would that be u, Nicole?

Yes? I think so the mental loads yet, because I care about lots of details and things.

Yeah, Matt, do you agree with that?

Yeah, I'd agree with that.

And so the purpose of the wedding planner would be to share that load, would that be right?

Yeah?

I just have that support person that has that professional advice so that I know that I'm speaking with someone that's going to give me real, honest advice and has been through it before, so I know that the day's going to be less stressed for both of us, because I know how stressed I get in sitch like certain situations.

So on the day, I just want to enjoy it with Matthe you'll not have to stress about anything and know that if anything does go wrong or anything, someone's taking care of it.

But you're saying in your claim you want three and a half weeks off prior to the wedding yep, and you want a total of three hundred and thirty three dollars. So how did you come up with that?

I just thought it's hard for both of us at the moment, like we're both trying and work ours off to have the best day we can have. So if I can get a week or two weeks off before the wedding and that covers my expenses, I'm a happy chat.

Okay, Well, I'm going to make my decision.

Judge Gina is deliberating and will soon hand down her verdict. Please do not leave the.

Courtroom, Okay. So I've had to think about it and I've made my decision. So Nicole and Matt, you both met at high school and you've been together ever since. You both engage and you're getting married January of next year. Your budget for your wedding is forty thousand dollars? Is that right?

Which it wasn't.

Ye and Nicole, you've brought Matt to me today because you believe you need a wedding planner, and Matt you believe that you don't and you can do it yourselves. I've made a decision, and what I say is that you're about I would say two thirds already planned into the wedding. Two thirds, and you've got a quote for

I think the outcome today has been awesome.

I'm so excited now that we can actually like get a wedding planner. Yeah.

I think it's a fair outcome.

To being that we sort of asked two thirds of the way and this is really going to us this stuff in.

Like getting us across the line and knowing that someone's going.

To be there on the day so we can have a good time.

I think Gina gave us, or myself in particular, what I think we needed, and the outcome we got is probably what we were after.

Yeah, I feel Gina was very fair, straight to the point, beck to the fact.

She was great. I feel like I did get a fair trial today.

She was fair, She did hear us out, and it's good for both of us.

I definitely think the wedding plan will have a really positive.

Impact on our relationship moving forward.

Knowing that Nicole is not going to be stressed anymore and we can just enjoy the process.

I think it'll be a good positive thing for us.

It sounds like Nicole needed that mental rest from planning a wedding, and I'm.

Glad she got at least a part of that. I feel as though this is settled and we shouldn't have to talk about it anymore.

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