It's another jewbile phone frame mornings on the twenties. Hello, Kate, this is Detective Clyde Steele calling from that you shop at.
Okay, and what is this regards.
To You're a regular shopper here. You frequent the grocery store one to two times a week. Yeah, typically on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
We're keeping track of this.
Well, I've been watching you and I decided to finally call you today because I need to speak with you.
You've been watching me and you're calling me.
Well, you've given me no option.
From the grocery store.
Correct, you want to tell me about the other day?
I don't want to tell you anything. This is creepy. What is this about?
I figured you wouldn't want to talk about it. I didn't know if you'd go easy or not.
You're going to have You're going to have to be more.
Let's lace up our running shoes. Okay, take a little walk with me down memory lane. What at seventeen thirty five last Tuesday evening? Do you remember what you did? I'm guessing I'm looking at their video right now. Okay, mm hmm. You want to tell me about it?
I literally don't know what you're talking about, sir.
I'm talking about your total lack of regard for public safety.
I still don't know what you're talking about, sir.
Well, let me just go ahead and spell it out for you. If you can't remember, if you care that little about the lives around you that you don't even remember when you were going to your car, you unloaded your groceries at seventeen thirty five to the exact somebody you didn't put their cart back in the cartholder thingy.
You remember that calling about me not returning a cart at the grocery store.
That's what this is. You're damn right, I am. You want to explain yourself.
I don't feel any need to explain myself.
Well, let me just say the third infraction. For the first time, I thought maybe you did it on accident. The second time I wasn't sure. And the third time now I know for sure. You do not return your cart to the cardholder thingy on purpose.
Okay, so you're on a little power trip because they didn't return my car. That's what this is.
I can tell you're kind of thinking this is a funny joke. Huh? Is that what it is to you funny joke that car.
I don't know it's funny. Actually think it's incredibly annoying. I can't believe that a business would go out of its way to harass customers.
Well, you know what else is going to be incredibly annoying. You have to find a new grocery store because you hadn't banned. Your picture is now up. I just put it up in the store. If anybody sees you walk on the premises, you will be escorted off by police.
And this is what this company thinks it's appropriate. I'm happy to take my business elsewhere, Happy to take my business elsewhere. This is insane, this is ridiculous.
I've also alerted every other grocery store security guard in a thirty mile radius.
Oh yeah, you're so powerful, you can stop me from shopping everywhere. Sure, we're all watching you need right now.
I've alerted the authorities as well. So imagine you might be picked up today.
To grocery jail. I'm going to grocery shore jail. I'm so scared.
Oh no, you're not taking this seriously at all.
It's not like I shoplifted. Okay, please, what are you going to do? Arrest me.
Oh that's interesting. You just admitted a shoplifting. I will be sending this to authorities.
I did no such things.
Oh you didn't. We'll take a listen to this. They shoplifted.
Okay, please arrest me.
What do you have to say about that?
Okay, So first you call me and basically tell me that you've been stalking me, and now you're cutting up our conversation and editing it and trying to send it to the cops.
I called you about the cart, and you just admitted to shoplifting and you asked to be arrested. So I will now send this to authorities, and I'm sure they'll be showing up here on your doorstep by the end of the day.
Listen here, you small, small minded grocery store security cop. There is nothing that you can do to me right now. Okay, I'm going to call your manager. You're going to be fired for talking to customers this way, and then I'm going to call the bet its bureau if your manager's not going to do anything about it, and if I have to involved cops and lawyers, I'm happy to do so. So you have mess with the wrong person today, the wrong one. I'm not the one baby.
All right, Well then I'll let you know this is actually a prank phone call. Is Jubile from the Jubil Show doing a phone brank on you and your husband sets you up.
Oh, Mike, I'm like, so, you know what, that's fine. It's gonna be a funny divorce.
It's gonna be a funny.
Oh, I'm gonna kill us.
Wake up every morning with Jubile phone Franks, we say mornings on the twenties,