Artemis Noir - the middle school drama teacher is casting your daughter

It's another Jebile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello.

Hello, this is Artemis Noir. I was looking for Josie's mom, Mary Beth. Yes, sir, Greetings Mary Beth. I'm sure you've heard of me, you know.

Actually I'm not familiar.

Who What are you related to, Artemis Noir.

I'm the drama teacher at middle school, and your daughter Josie has gone out for the lead role in my play.

Yes, she has, yes, and I'm.

Calling to speak with you before I let her know the big news. Okay, After careful, careful, careful consideration, I am deciding to go with your daughter Josie as the lead in Charlotte's Web, The Revenge of Wilbur.

Oh, my gosh, wait, the Revenge of Wilbur.

Yes, it's my artistic take on Charlotte's Web. I think it's so pedestrian when middle schools and elementary schools and high schools just rip somebody else's play and do that. So I've written my own version of it. It's Charlotte's Web, The Revenge of Wilbur. It's a classic farmyard tale that takes a turn when Wilburt becomes obsessed and vengeful seeking justice for Charlotte's death instead of peaceful farm animals, which

The hoofs.

Oh okay, And so I'm going to need her to method act a bit. There is a lot of cursing written into the script, so I'm going to ask for your approval. You yes, let you be able to curse around the house, use it, you know, four letter words here and there.

Well, no, that's not going to work.

Well, I thought you were a supportive parent who wanted her to have the lead in my play.

I mean, this is crazy though, Like I feel like I'm going to need to have a conversation with the principal because you know, we worked really hard on the material. She's going to be excited, but there's no way she's going to be swearing around the house. I mean that's I also need.

Her to start researching roles in order to get inspiration for her character. And I'm going to use her to watch the movie's Scarface at least three times a day.

Excuse me, She's a middle school student. Why do you think it's appropriate for a middle school student to be watching Scarface for a production of Charlotte's Web. This is making absolutely no sense. And I feel like, not only is this idiotic, but it's also it's dangerous. They don't take a classic of Charlotte's Web and change it into something ridiculous.

This is classic.

I honestly to say, it's so boring, the regular Charlotte's Web boring, Yes.

Said New York.

Literally, we've been reading it every week, and.

To be setting New York City as.

Well, New York City, okay.

The gritty streets of Brooklyn.

Okay, So I'm going to have to talk to Josie's dad. I'm going to have to make a call to the principal.

Okay, Well, then fine, I guess she does not get any roles in the play. Then I was going to cast her as the lead, but apparently her mother's not willing to commit.

I it's not that I'm not willing to commit, it's fat. I'm not going to have her be part of this ridiculous production. It's just crazy. Well, what did you say? Your name was again?

Artemis Noir?

Artemis Noir. Okay, that sounds made up legitimately, like what do you Shakespeare?

No, Shakespeare was attack as far as I'm concerned, And yes, it is made up.

It's the name that I gave myself.

Okay, my daughter's not watching Scarface, She's not going to be swearing around the house. And I'm going to have to make a call to the principle and talk about get you fired because this is ridiculous.

Well fine, then I'll just let you know this is a prank phone call. Oh god, this is actually Jubil.

From the Jubil Show doing a phone prank on you and your husband set you up.

Oh lord, it's a joke.

Oh my god, my blooded boiling.

He said that you've been helping your daughter get ready for a role in the school play and wanted to mess with you. Oh.

I could not believe someone was going to make Charlotte's Love into a murdering Yeah. I can't.

Wake up every morning with Jubile phone pranks. We say mornings on the twenties,