My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is joy. I talk to interest in people about what brings them happiness.
Weird Aal Yankovic.
If you don't love weird Dally Yankovic, I have one question for you.
How long have you been in Al Qaeda? Here is I said, I feel like I feel like you know, I've done shows were like happen hour in like is this the show? Are we doing the show? No, we are doing the show. It's all right, So you know, sit up straight, don't do anything. Don't radio voice, Yeah, use your radio voice. Don't mention anything that will get
you or me canceled, or maybe you do. I think that it's now come full circle and you have to say something that gets you canceled so that you're participating. You don't get canceled every decadar So people wonder what's wrong with you. Well, yeah, you get canceled. I don't know if you if actually is the thing that you get canceled.
Does anybody really get canceled? I mean yeah, I think a couple of people got canceled. I mean, but they were like really really bad. Really yeah, yeah, they're like they were like jail canceled. Yes, but when you're jail canceled, yeah, jail canceled. That that's like the gold standard of canceled. So listen to me and and say nothing until I finish. Okay, no, listen to me. It's lovely to see you. I haven't seen you since oh my god, since maybe Scotland.
Was it that longer? Yeah, I guess it might have been.
It may have been. Oh no, maybe I think you know what I think I saw you. Maybe I saw you in my host in Elia. I was getting a tattooed. And you can't have a look because you've never seen anyone get a tattooed, not up clothes, which I have to say out as someone who has the broken roller dances you have. You're really, you're very You're lacking a lot in tattoos.
I'm not a big fan of needles, you know. I just I just, actually, like an hour ago, got my COVID booster and flu shots. Oh so Bill Gates knows you're here that well, I don't know. It's oh my god. I either got the one where Bill Gates is going to be controlling my mind, or I got the one where my five g phone is going to turn me into a zombie. So I'm not sure which one I got. I only just heard about that.
The theory about that that noise on your phone goes off triggers your COVID.
Yeah, it turns you in Fuh. I like that cool. Yeah, they think of a lot, they think of all the cold so creative. Yeah, it's lovely, but I will see this.
I got my COVID jabs in Scotland, so I think it won't work in me. I think it basically if it mang goes off, I turned into fat back. Once you across the border, it's all bets are off.
Did you get COVID? I did? Yeah, I was so very very careful. But we toured last year for six months, and uh, I think I was the first one to kick COVID. You got it and then you infected the whole band. Yeah no, no, we all just took turns. We all thankfully nobody got not more than one person in the band got COVID at the same time, but we all took turns. Well. I think that that's very profession it was a very professional way to approach the band.
I think we could all have learned from that. What do you call your band? Just the weird Al band? Yeah, I mean I call him.
Jim Steve and John Ruban, I guess, but the collective none for the band, just yeah Al's band. You know, for a while, we're changing the name of the band every tour, like back when Dirty Stupid was the album there with a stupid band or you know, it's just like a theme for the album, but we gave up on that. Look, I have a name for a band, and I think you can have it if you think it for free? Yeah, okay, you're ready, Yes, call on Floss, coll On Floss, coll on Floss. Yeah, what do you think?
Is it too too much? You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna put that in my back pocket and near and stick a pen in any well, see what you did say? What you did? Now?
Listen, you've been on tour. I was talking to Suzan, your lovely lady wife about this. You've been on tour a lot, like like for the past like thirty years continually. Yeah, pretty much? Right, well a lot a lot?
Yeah? Do you still love it? I do? You know, it's my favorite part of what I do. I mean, I don't like being away from my loved ones. Oh you take them with you. They do it now now that we're empty nesting. My wife and I actually my wife joined me on the entire last flag of the tour because we did Australia and euro up in Hawaiian and she thought, oh, that might be fun, so we got She got to actually tour with me. So that was nice. That was nice. It was your daughter in college?
She is, Yeah, she's she's on the East Coast. I can't believe that. I'm so old. She used to be a baby and now she's in college. I've got one of them that used to be a baby and is finished college. Wow. And then the other one used to be a baby and does it school and is a teenager. Ooh, that's pretty rough. You know, the teenagers thing. What would you like as a teenager? You rebellious? Well, in not as such. I mean I was. You know, you've heard my song white and Nerdy. That was me. I graduated
high school when I was sixteen as the valedictorian. So I was one of those straighting nerds that people like to beat up at recess. Wait, so you were bullied a little? I mean, you know, I did I didn't literally get beat up all the time, but I go totally Barbara on right now, I'm going, I'm going to do it. Alice, it was like, no Ah, you you were bullied, right, It's true. It's a repressed memory. It's all coming back now. So you were you were bullied in that.
Because we've talked about this, and it's about every single time I talked to you in a recording format. We talked about eat It because it was my first exposure to weird. Awa Yankovic was in a I was in a cab in New York. I was very, very affected by the narcotics that I've had fairly recently. To the cab right starting and I heard eat It. And it was the cab driver I remember was Egyptian.
And when when you sang have a banana, half a whole bunch, it doesn't matter what you've had for lunch, he had to pull over. We were both laughing so hard, and I don't think he'd been taking some narcotics. I had said, we have a lot more narcotics. But you know, it was dangerous. Hell people could have got hurt, you know. I I don't hold myself liable for any of that. I had my record label sign a waiver that if anybody is any traffic accidents.
It's an interesting world you've comeved for yourself though, because it's not like who's the new WEIRDL or who is the weird al before weird Ow.
It's just weird hell. I mean, you know they're there for a while, I was getting pitched a bunch of teeth. There's a period of time where I literally had six different production companies say we want you to host a show called find a New Weird Al. No, you know, one of these reality shows. And I was like, why would I want to do that? I'm already and still and continue to be weird al. Why don't we want a new weird al?
But that's it seems so strange to me because they that's that. I feel that's rude. But was that, like Simon cow You can tell me it was it, Simon Cole?
Is that? I mean? I might have bad I don't know. He sends to me like a try and fight America's new weird Right? How does how did you get the name weird? It was something that was kind of foisted on me in college. I think my freshman year in the dorms in college is ironic because you're not weird. Well no, I think you know, they thought I was weird because I were a little weird. That's gonna say.
It's come full circle. It's like drinking yourself sober. It's like, he's not weird, We'll call him weird, but yeah, actually are weird.
Yeah. I would be roaming around the halls of my dorm and people would say, Oh, who's that just weird? Hell weird? Uh yeah, and then I just took it on as a radio name professionally.
Now I'm going to ask you something about this because you strike me as someone who should have gone through a goth period.
But I don't think dead. Did you a goth period? Yeah, you should have been a goth man, there's still time. Yeah, well that's kind of where I was going with this.
I feel like it's I didn't become a goth either, and we could do goth things together, likeng out and be in a bad mood pot phase and I had punk.
Yeah, but it's not the same. Yeah, you know you don't know anything about it. Shut up, Dad, I hate you.
But what I'm saying is we could wear black lipstick and hang out and mat and go to the I just where we record.
This place is right next to the Museum of Death. Oh, I didn't even know about that. Yeah, it's a museum right nearby and it's called the Museum of the Graveyard. No, I don't think so, I'm too scared to go in. I think they should rebrand graveyards as museums of death. Right.
There's a road sign in the town that I drive into in Scotland sometimes and it says retail park and it points to the left, and cemetery and it points to the right. And every time we drive by, Megan who you know, my wife always says, buying it, bought it. So listen, you leave school at sixteen having been horribly bullied.
Hell, let's go with that. Yeah you weren't really were you it? This is in La though, right, Yeah, yeah, Lynnwood Linwood Knights represent no lynn Wood. I don't even I live alley for twenty over twenty years. I haven't even heard a line. Would I went to the same high school as Sugar Night and who else? Mark House? How's he doing? He never calls, he never writes. I'm worried sick about him, did does see you in the school hall of fame schools? I didn't know either if
I was talking to Vetna Cole Brown about it. Here's this will annoy you as much as annoyed me. Vetnicole Brown went to the same school as our Senior Hall and their school has a Hall of Fame and they have a hall which you know, like the gym like the gymnasium as a hall, and they named the hall. Now remember our Senior Hall went to this this. I'm with you, Nicole Brown Hall. I'm like you, oh my god, and it should have beout our Senio Hall Hall.
Senior Hall Hall is what I said, and that is hall Hall, right, And then you can have a Vetnicole Brown, you know else staff toilet.
Or something, but no territorial clock.
I mean she she can, you know, she's a very magnificent human being, but nothing else but a whole Come on the hall if you have or cito. I mean, I love it, but but come on exactly anyway, That's that was when I found out schools have halls of fame.
But you just doesn't right. Maybe it's a secret one, maybe after being a guild or.
Maybe you know, and it's Shug's in it and you're not in it, saying that's probably what happened. So did you graduate school at sixteen?
Yeah? Yeah, so I started high school when I was twelve. Wow. Yeah? Were you like some like Doogie Housers? You know? I mean I think my parents had me start kindergarten a year before they should have, and then in second grade they thought I was too advanced that they just brought me right in the third grade. So my whole youth, I was like two years younger than most of my classmates. That's kind of interesting because that's going to make you feel like a little bit of an outsider. Did you
feel like an outside? Well, yes, I did, But I don't think it was totally because of my age, because, like I said, I was I was pretty nerdy, and I was I was pretty you know, awkwardly and not very social. So I think even if I was the same age, I still would have kind of stood out and not really fit in. Yeah. I think that's possibly true.
And the thing is about it as well, I think maybe a lot of people don't know this about you. You're very techy, aren't you. I mean you're very You're very knowledgeable about particularly musical stuff. Is what I'm going to say, Like, do you keep up on like all the like synth technology and the like super like what does it call that thing again?
Auto beep or something erotic?
Auto erotic massage? I think that's it's that musical thing.
It seems to be. Actually it's done with a few musicians, for sure.
It would it be terrible though, if I was gonna do that, and I'm not saying I haven't, but I haven't done it today.
Yes, but if I was going to do that, I'd be scared. You know, well you should be. Oh yeah, I don't like to feel scared when I'm on my own. You should not feel that way. All right, let's get that us.
So, so if you graduate high school at sixty WHATBS did you go to college?
I did? I went to the California Polytechnic State University at San Luis Obispo. That's a catchy one, you know. T shirts are three feet wide. Get the whole name on there. Wow, Sant Louis Episto Abispo Abisspe. Is that where they have the hotel? That's yes, they have a hotel there, but it's good. Madonna's Madonna and Yeah, have you been there? I have you?
Oh, that's that's the you know, tourist attraction in San Labe. Yeah, I went to the I think I stayed in the flint Stones room. Oh, the Caveman room.
Right, Caveman. There's like a three three year waiting list for that room. He must be like important or something. No, No, this was way back in the day.
This is before the internet had snuck up with the Madonna and there's the other one.
Have you stayed there? I I think I think one time when we the band played sant Luisibiso, I think they arranged to actually have a stay at Madonna and which is pretty cool. Yeah. Do you remember what room you were in? Not the cave Man room. I wasn't quite that. That's maybe then I have seen it.
It was for a whole event I was doing on my own about auto erotic cave dwelling.
Yes, So what did you study at college? Architecture? No? See, what the hell? What was I doing? I don't know. Are you still into architecture? You know, not so much. I mean I appreciate a good building, but you know it kind do you like do you like a brutalist you know, kind of German bowhouse type of brown ones, brown buildings, and you would have been a terrible architect. I was the worst. Yeah, because you have what kind of building you gotta put up out brown one? I
think this needs a brown one? Can we see a drawing?
But you the reason I say about the techie stuff is because you do the best birthday cars in the world. Anybody who's a friend of yours that you do the greatest, greatest birthday car and.
No thank you.
And I showed the last one you did for me, which was sensational, and I showed it to my youngest son and he's like, Liam, who you of course, and he was.
Like, oh my god, that must have taken him weeks to do that. And I was like, yeah, I think it really did. But it didn't. I'll did it well, it did, but I have to confess you're not the only person who sent that card too. I changed the names for the other people though. But so it's a kind of like super high tech jib jab thing. It is. You know, it's a I guess we'll give him a plug. It's American Greetings and it's a it's a birthday card. People think oh, it's a I they had you like
doing like all these different names. You like, they made your mouth move and made the word no. It's old school. I literally had to go through like over a thousand names to do that, and every single age and every you know, so I had to you know, there are like two different times when I mentioned somebody's names, so I had to go twice through the entire scene with a thousand names. It's a lot of work. Why did you do this? I mean, because the card is fine, Well,
you know, I just wanted to freak you out. It freaked me out. Or when I go to I was like, oh, oh my god, it's crazy. I really genuine I mean, I'm not illiterate in the world of tech, but I'm like, I have no idea how he did this.
I have genuinely no idea. And I remember years ago. You might not remember that, but when I was on the Drew Carey Show. I played Drew's English boss, of course, mister Wick, and you came on the show and you did a like a rap video type thing with Drew. Do you remember that a rap video?
I think I can't know it was. I was joining Drew's band at the very end or something like that. They made another recordion player.
Yeah, it was something, didn't you do some kind of like it looked like a kind of nineties rap thing. I can't remember, but you're probably confused me. The only thing, the main thing I remember about doing the Drew Carry show was it was right after I had my laser surgery, so I wasn't doing the glasses and the mustache anymore, and the producers insisted that I have the glasses of the mustache otherwise how are.
They gonna help? You know?
They did the same with Drew Drew on that show, he got lasix and he lost like forty pounds and these to make.
Wear a fats really seasons. I was like, he's coming in, Like I got, I got a fatso on and put the glasses on, so they knew it was Drew Carry.
But he had lost the way. I don't feel so bad now. I also didn't have to wear a fatster. I wasn't English either. I had to plan to be English.
Was it was a mess. It's a mess, you gotta do it. Yeah, did you ever do a sitcom for atlant at time? Not in a length at time? No, I did some animated stuff. I was. I was Mile Murphy and Mile Murphy's Law, but I was never in any kind of live action. Right.
Okay, so let me ask you this. You're in doing architecture. Did you graduate as an architect?
I did, got my degree. I could design your house tomorrow, very very very badly. So if really, yeah, yeah, I never knew this, But I don't know why I don't know this. I've done you for quite a long time. I didn't know you were an architect. Well I'm not. I have a degreking an architect. And there's a few other steps you have to go through before you didn't actually practice? No, you never did, did you do? What about you any of your houses that you live in?
Have you ever designed them? No? What about shoving? Did you even divine as shoving? Universal? You know, I will say I designed a couple of my bathroom remodels. Okay, fair enough.
That doesn't make your own, you know, it just makes you a guy who goes to the bathroom service.
Yeah. I think the.
Series closets would be nice, Yes, they would be lovely.
So what happened? You graduate as an architect? But radio is what you love? Right? Yeah? I just you know, I didn't know what I was going to do when I graduated. I didn't think I'd have a career in showbiz or anything like that. But I figured, like I graduated, I was like, what nineteen twenty and I figured, actually my senior year in college, Capital Records put out my Bologna because I recorded that in the bathroom across the
radio station. But yeah, it was. And I still didn't think, like, oh, this is when I when I'm going to be doing for the next forty years. But I thought, well, you know what, I've got a sinkle on Capitol Records. I might as well knock on some doors and see if I can make anything out of this kooky career thing. There wasn't like a plan then. It just kind of you followed the hood of the car and it took you where it was going. Pretty much. I think that's great.
You know, I was a found of the Doctor Demanto show, and he was giving me a lot of as talked to me, adulta dementto because I'm illiterate in the world Adulta Demanto, okay, other than what I've seen portrayed fictionally.
So you have to take me through what eyes because it's a real cult thing in LA. Right, you have to join a cult to listen to the show. Yes, right, Well there's a few cults in LA and I get that, but this particular one and it was a real cult favorite, right.
Oh yeah. So yeah, Doctor Demantou whose real name is Barry Hanson. He was on kmie T in Los Angeles for decades. It is like a local radios. Yes, it's local. But his show became so popular that became syndicated nationwide and I think maybe around the world a little bit, but mostly in North America. But he got famous for playing all sorts of comedy and novelty and just weird stuff from his personal record club. And he had a huge,
huge record collection at home. Is if you wherever it was house like, you go to his kitchen, open the cupboards. They're full of records. They're just records everywhere. Final, Yeah, and he collects everything now. But he has a huge, huge vinyl collection. Is that where you first heard it? May have been how I first heard? Is it? Bubby Pickett and the Crip Kickers.
Muster Mash, Yeah, which is still one of my favorite songs. Yeah, that's a great song.
Yeah, Yeah, that was a big like our top forty radiohos. I'm not sure if I heard that on Demento or just on khe J or whatever one of the big guns, but yeah, I mean that's where I got exposed to like Spike Jones and Alan Sherman and Tom Lahra and Stan Freeberger and all these these people, and I thought, wow, well, maybe.
It's a it's a real world though that it was kind of a I'm not going to say his niche because it's too big for that, but it was. It was a world which existed outside of the mainstream, right, I mean yeah, and yet when you were the guy who kind of brought up mainstream really and yeah, I mean you were the you kind of broke out of the of the kind of the subterranean, weird record listening world to.
My Bologna was probably the one that did it, right. Yeah, that was the first one for sure. I mean doctor Menel played again all sorts of his personal records, but I was one of the few people that was just like sending him unsolicited material in the mail and he'd play that and and I was it was definitely a breakout because it lit up the request lines. As I say, and all of a sudden, that's so cute, the request lines and all. Isn't that like simpler times? Yes? Yes, times?
So in the in this world that you read, it seems like it was simpler times. How do you approach it?
No? Do you have like the tickety talk and the Instagram and the I got some of that. I'm still ostensibly on Twitter, although I haven't really, you know, I think Twitter doesn't really exist anymore, does it. I think some other is like definitely being declauded for sure. It's something's happened to that. So I'm you know, I don't. I don't know if I'm slow quitting or I just haven't posted in a while. But I'm theoretically still on Twitter, but mostly Instagram. I'm on Blue Sky and I'm on
a don't know that one. I don't know what about Bengo? Do you know that one? Bingo? No, Bengo, It's it's a new one. I just like made it up. I like it though, Bengo'll sign up? Can you Bingo? Me? Sure? Right? And if you get a good one, you let you go. It's a Bengo you get and then you do memes of Christopher Christopher and Christopher walks. He says it an inglorious pasta. It's a Bengal's a Nazi, Nazi bingo everybody.
So when you're in this world, like you move out of this rather kind of sweet, nerdy world of architecture, comedy, songs, but then you become kind of a you get drawn into the world of rock music, which is slightly less innocent.
Do you hear the siren call of black tar heroine? Not so much. I mean, I mean, I don't know if it's my reputation preceding me, but it's like, I don't think I ever really got like offered drugs on the road or a party even offered you drugs. No so rude yet that is I feel bad. If I'd have been around then I would certainly have offered some. I appreciate that. That's shocking. I'm my fellow for me drugs, so I can be offended and say no.
Margaret Dumont Brothers movies, So you were walking around dressed as Margaret Dumont with a big dress on, and it never called to you that that wellness or were you scared of it or were you doing drugs?
Well?
Just the kind of because it was a particularly wild and kind of debauched era of rock, wasn't it.
Well, I guess, I mean, it depends what what circus you're traveling. I mean, I guess you know. I did promise my parents that I wouldn't do drugs, so I didn't. We all did that, Yeah, But I mean, and I mostly I think I was just afraid that drugs would turn me normal and I couldn't have it would be back for my career. Have it like a reverse yeah thing, reverse wed all. So that's the thing you can have that I've found out on the internet. I've had a reverse weirdo. You would not like it. Oh, I on
the other hand, loved it. Oh that makes it the reverse weird. So let me ask you this.
You started playing the accordion when you were a kid, right, because you just like the accordions. I got to tell you, by the way, when you were at my house in Scotland, remember we found that old accordion.
You your basement, basement base. What we call it the crypt, right, We don't just call it the crypt, it's a crypt, yes, right.
So we found that old accordion down there, which I thought was amazing. It was like two days before you arrived and then you were looking at this order, which I still have that I think.
It's it's kind of dad, this accordion. But have you ever practicing? No, no, I gotta be honest, I don't. I dram but the ghosts play the accordion. Ah. But the thing is about it. I don't know if I ever told you this.
The night we had a little kley, a little Scottish dance in the house and the accordion and fiddle player were there. When you came in and played the accordion with those guys, it was like Elvis had arrived.
They were so they were like, wait, what if that's fucking weird? Now, what the fuck is happening?
Because in this it's going and they play Accordions album, so they know who you are, and they're they're like, oh my god, It's like it was so fucking weird.
And they were just I just got to say, you made their entire year. They were very great and it was pretty good. You were in your your fingers were walking. I can I can figure pretty well, yeah you can. And that's part of the reverse weird there you believe there you go. So when you're in this world of you kind of comedy songs, this is kind of a niche world. I could be honest with you. Comedy songs never really did it for me until I listened to you.
I don't really, I don't really who are you listening before?
When I think about it, I think, I don't know if I've ever heard any comedy songs it said for you? I mean, like really, so I guess somebody doesn't mean they just haven't. I haven't remembered Anny well so well you so like in Scotland, who would have been the comedy songs? Well, anyone in the UK? Oh you know what Neil Ennis? Okay, yeah, Neil Ennis was. It was a goddamn genius. Oh yes, love love Neil He did you know?
Not? Well? I went to see him a McCabe's guitar, shappy. I went with the emflso went to see him performance. I got to hang out with them for a little bit. So I didn't really know him knowing, but we've always been a huge fan before spinal tap.
He and Eric Idol did the Ruttles, which was a Beatles PASTI perfect, which.
Was amazing, amazing.
Yeah, really I still listened to it. I must tell Eric this, I still listened to the Ruttles. It's just like listening to it. Yeah, it's just like Beatles songs to me. Yeah, they are like Beatles songs. It's like finding new Beatles songs from different Is this amazing? That cheese and say cheese and onion. Every every time I have something with cheese and onions, I start singing ruddles of.
Mine guys buys and that's a nice cheason c O N. I don't spell out e easy A d Oh my god. It's great stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, I always thought my rule forever doing comedy. If I was ever gonna parody something, I always thought, you have to be at least as good as what you're parodying, or you're gonna be You're gonna look like an idiot.
Right? Is that something that we try? We try, you know, we try to copy it. You know, I've had the same band for over forty years and they're all amazing musicians. It's kind of I probably shouldn't say this, but sometimes when we're like doing like a uh, you know, a parody and we're trying to copy the original track, sometimes my drummer will say, do you want me to play it exactly like they played it? Or or or correctly? Yeah? Better?
Yeah, I think that's interesting. So you do that, you know, when you do these songs, but on tour, you do do a whole set.
Which is no party songs. Right, well, we did. We did that for two tours. We did the ridiculously ill advised Vanity Tour and then the unfortunate return of the Ridiculous Vanity Tour, and that was that was most mostly for the hardcore fans, because we didn't do really any parodies and it didn't have any props or costumes. It was just very, you know, low key and kind of intimate.
But I love doing that because we had to just be musicians and not put on this big, you know show and do all the you know, all the B sides and all the deep cuts. And that was I love doing that, and the band loved doing that. And for the people that showed up again, we're doing smaller theaters, but they were so excited to hear some like random Obscure track from the fourth album that they never thought they ever hear live.
Well, but with that it was recently like in the last like four or five years, you got like a big Grammy win. Remember, I'm sure you do it.
Yeah? Was that for parody songs or was that for the last Grammy? I actually was as an art director, oddly enough, because I had a box set. It was like my entire catalog, but it was boxed in a replica of my accordion. It was this is architecture right here, this is this is we've come. This is the reach of the show, reach around the reverse weird al, That's what I'm saying. This is like that, So the architecture
actually comes into play. Yeah, I mean there's some design that I guess I kind of leaned from our from college. You know, the whole four years were in a complete waste. No no, no, I can till print very neatly. And also you you want to grab me for designing a building made of records, let's just call it that. Okay, let's call it that. Now. You mentioned the name of a comedian, and I want to talk to you about him, because he's a very very interesting comedian, a gentleman by the name of Emo film.
Yes, and you and friends right now, I don't know. I don't think i've ever met Emo. You haven't, no, but I remember seeing him my first ever te u to the United States. Well, actually it wasn't even to the United States. My first trip to Just for Last Festivals at festival in Montreal in nineteen eighty seven, and I got to see Emo and Judy Tanuda the rest there, and they were crazy different. They were very different to anything else that was going on. Yeah, how did you
guys up? I assume you mean, how do we meet?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, that's right. Well we heard I'll stop it. Yeah. We we kind of bumping into each other since, you know, the early eighties, because we were both eighties weirdos, and of course, you know, our paths are going to intersect. I don't know, we just we were mutual fans and we just, uh, you know, wound up hanging out together with you and stuff like that. Well, for the two band Aid tours he did, so he's done over over
two hundred shows with me. Is he a musician? No, he does does the Yeah, I think does he still do that? Yeah? Probably, It's very interesting. No, he's he's like the funniest guy in the world. He's just you should have him on the show sometimes because I was funny.
So I here's what I think that and then correct me if I'm wrong. But sometimes when someone has a very recognizable character that they do on stage, because unless does ema, Philip spoke around talking to that all the time.
No, I mean, you know, it's it's like you can hear that in his voice a little bit, but it's an exactly And I think he's very concerned about his public persona because he's one of those people that kind of hopes the people think he liked that all the time, you know, because he's very much into like presenting an image. In fact, he was kind of giving me advice, like back in ninety eight ninety nine, back when I you know, I had my look change where he shaved out the
mustache but he got super handsome. But he was like very concerned. He was like he was like, you wanted me to do the do the Drew carry things like, you know, people want to see the iconic image, they want to see the mustache and glasses. And I think he was trying to talk to me and to just like always wearing fake glasses and I kind of wanted to keep it real. And it's it's an interesting and it's a fair point.
I mean, if you look at you know, the Homer Simpson silhouet or something like that, if you create something like that.
He kept bringing up grouch like Groutcher always had the mustache, you know, until he did the Game Show? Didn't he still you think he still for that? Didn't he did? He did he paint on the mustache for the Game show either, I don't know he was painting it on for the longest time, but he did definitely had a mustache for the Game Show. Were you Find in the Musk? Sure? Oh my god? I loved that. Yeah? What's that movie? I think it might be Horse Feathers? I don't know.
Is the one where they have the horse? Might be they have the horse in the Dental wond where they had the duck soup? Which one was that? I think that's duck soup? And when they went to that opera at night? What was that one called the Races?
But I was, as you the anarchy of that, the kind of terrifying out of controllness. It's interesting because when I was a kid, I'm going I really didn't like.
The cat in the Hat. I didn't like it.
Did because the cat and the hat used to come to the house and he would do all these naughty things, and the parents were out, and I'm like, it's just horrifying.
Is that the home invasion? Yes, this weird fucking cat's gone in the house with a hat on and he's getting the kids to do bad things. This guy's evil.
Yeah, But at the same time, I love the March Brothers and that sense of anarchy.
I think their charm was much more acceptable to me as a five year old. Now they're they're making fun of Margaret Dumont. They're not making fun of two little innocent kids alone in their house. That's it. Uh huh, that's it.
They're making fun of the adult figure, not the cat figure. You're right, Oh, thanks, he sure.
I don't know, but I'm looking at I look at this as therapy. Yeah, well, I think that you're very good at it. I think here's what I think.
Screwba Emo says, Okay, get a pipe tweet jacket. I'm thinking of a vague whiff of an Austrian accent, and become a therapist when you're not on the road.
Oh can I get one of those jackets with packers on the elbows?
I would almost insist on it, okay, and then lie down, or you can go and drag and be like.
Lorraine Bracco and the sopranos. Oh that's also very nice. Yeah, I've have you ever had therapy? No?
Oh, man, it's awesome. I had a therapist too. Used to wear she was fantastic. Used to wear all the same clothes the same color. Like she would wear green shoes, green tights, a green skirt of green bluuse, and she would wear green eyes shadow and like if it was green that day or and I think it.
Was of like a big green screen or something. It might it was chroma ky. I was pretty bad chroma key nice. I was in a bad shape then, So maybe that was maybe it never happened at all. Did she look I just disembodied eyes looking at you. Yeah, that was I think about I'm having a flashback. So you're going along and you're being weird. Al And then what wammed in the nineties that caused the change? Was there any kind of personal thing change for what well,
they're taking the glasses off. Well, it was just it was just you know, at that point, the technology and sign and medicine had gotten to the point where it felt like I wasn't taking my life into my hands by letting somebody like shoot lasers in the eyeball. And I thought, you know, if I can like see you know, I had lasers as well in the nineties. By the way, it did you run about that time? Yeah? Did you
get it again? No? That they I think they kind of said you could get it again, but it's you know, maybe a little bit more dangerous the second time around. Oh I don't want to hear that. Yeah, I'll never getting done. So I still I still wear glasses sometimes when I want to, uh see distances because my eyes continued to change since like, yeah, mine too.
Yeah, so I also as a disguise, do you wear glasses with maybe I nose in a mustacheized I'm.
Wearing one right now.
Oh my god, it's Emo Phillips. So the idea then, was it so I wanted to find that was there a creative decision?
Was that? Was that when you met Suzanne? Is that it was something that happened then what I didn't do it specifically to meet Suzanne, but uh it worked out that way, right, you got rid of the glass. This is a very quickly like all of a sudden, women are like, who's this? I see like He's like, why hell, you're beautiful? Before I thought you were a Clark Kemp, but you're really superman. Yeah, I got How did you guys meet? I know? She told me, I'm gonna is
this true? It was a plain day. It was correct, right, Okay, so you know, shut you up. Do you know Billy Moomey? Uh? He played he he was like the biggest child actor when I was a child. He played a little Will Robinson on Lost in Space. Of course I know who it is, and I would give you this whole IMDb, but look him up. But you know, he was and I've been fans of his for a long time. And he was half of Barnes and Barns, who did fish Heads. Do you know that song shed Lovely Lovely fish Heads
shed Sheds? Eat him up? Yeah, that's it. So I met him on the Doctor Demento show because he was a you know, Demento yang. But he never introduced himself as Bill Moomy. He was always Art Barns like Art and already Barnes, And I'm gullible. I believed I didn't recognize him from like being a kid.
Wait a minute, Wait a minute, I gotta stub you Emo Phillips. Emo Phillips's real name.
I don't I feel like i'd be talking out of school to answer that question.
All right, all right, fair enough, okay, all right, So you you know this Will Robinson danger Will Robinson Art Barnes.
So, so he invites me to his house. I met his house on the Hollywood Hills. I forget we're recording something or hanging out or whatever, and I notice all this like Lost in Space memorabile around the house, and I'm like, again, I'm so stupid. I'm like, this guy is super into Lost the Gosh, a big fan. He's got all these Brilly movie movie posters on the wall. Man, this guy's a freak one, like a super fan, like obsessed. And then finally, after a long time, I figured out, oh, this is Bill Mooney.
So he introduces you. He says, you have a blain date and he and he.
Actually had been setting me up on blind dates before and setting Susanna up on blind dates, and they were they didn't really work out, obviously, but he he called me up one day and said, I'm gonna set you up on this date with this woman who works at twenty century Fox. You have to marry her. She's super clever, Yeah,
I mean it's like she's intimidatingly cool clever. Yeah, she's got that kind of Annie Lebowitz vibe, you know, that kind of here you know what I mean, like kind of scary photography, clever, like sees the world slightly more than you do. That's boyd. So I was saying like, yeah, they're a little different. Yeah, but the but she she is, she's like she's super smart, super clever woman. Yeah, and she's she's the whole package. Yeah, she is. I waited a long time to find her, did you. Well, here
here's he here's the thing. You know, it was actually really romantic because this is this is in the days before social media as we know today. I didn't have a picture of her. I didn't have an idea what she looked like. And we didn't have time to go out on a date for a few weeks because I was just about to put out a new album. She was working over time at her at her you know, at twenty century Fox, right, and we just couldn't find it time to get together. But we had time late
at night. She would have these phone calls in the middle of the night. That isn't this a movie with Tom Hanks and Megan It sounds like it should be material.
You know, Look it's not too late. Yeah, they're Tom and Megan are both are both working.
Tom makes you get back together for the weird I'll start. I'm gonna call it Susanna now. Oh I like that better, Yeah, Susanna now or do you guys have a have a mix up name, like, you know, the hyphen at the portmanteau.
Yeah, so sal I guess Sue Suzel or Alcus or alsas.
The Yanko Vics. Oh yeah, that'll work. Yeah, yeah, it's a little bit patriarchal, but I'll take it. What is that is that Polish? Yankovick is? What is it Yugoslavian back when that was a country.
All right, So you have to break it down though, man, because the Yugoslavic, because yugoslavin that.
Was just like a construct after that. Yeah, I think, you know, I'm not a percent sure, but I think I'm Slovenian like me and Millennia.
Oh yeah, I get that. You look a bit like thank you, thank you. Yeah, did you do the Whiteose correspondence thing or no political things.
I would not have to do that. I think they can use some accordion there. I think I feel like.
That would be a good bet, because you're pretty good at like straddling the line of you know, not getting to political.
Or I could just like be playing like mood music behind the president's speech, you know, just a little a little bit of accordion. Yeah, look, don't take this wrong way, buddy. But they might think it's a little French. Oh you know, are we still doing the French thing? Freedom fries deal? Freedom fries? Do you know? Once I was I swear this is true. I was in a diner and I think it was Arkansas. I was on the road. You know sometimes you just.
When you're on the road, you're like, I can't take another you know, fucking Starbucks or you know, we got to go to somewhere else and we went to this diner. It was during all the freedom Fries thing. And I go to the bathroom and there were contraceptives and sex toys.
No, no, no, they were they were in my pocket. There was you know, one of those vending machines that sells contraceptives and little sex toys, and they'd scored, they scored. I have to say, as bad as my life go, I never bought a sex toy in a public bathroom from a vending machine yet. Yeah, say just for show, not for go.
But but they had French ticklers. Yes, but they had taken out friend. They'd called them freedom ticklers.
That's the best, freedom tickler, that's the best. We want a little freedom tickler. Look, I don't want to do this, but it's for a miracle. That's great. It was fantastic. So use Zan. You can't get it together, well, you can get it together obviously because you have child, but you can't meet each other because you're so busy in your hectic show business life. So we basically fell in
love over the phone. Is that true? Yeah? Pretty? I mean, because I remember thinking like, I kind of hope she's I mean, I would marry her if she's homely, but I kind of hope she's cute because I'm going to marry this person. So I never saw her face until I opened the door to her first day.
That's fantastic and kind of beautiful, and I feel like it's probably a show and isn't that like love at first say?
Or you know, Naked Attraction one of those we were the first reality show. If you ever seen that show, Naked Attraction, No, I got no, you should know. It's a show in Channel four in the UK, right, which is kind of like it's very bad. But in this show is Naked Attraction. What they do is they have these screens.
It's Breton, so yeah, they don't care a buty and they have these screens and they started the bumps the person who's choosing a partner.
These curtains come up and you see their.
Feet and then their knees and then their legs, and you think it's going to be negative, and then the curtain keeps going and you see they're junk, male or female. You see and like harsh lighting, real people, junk, not Hollywood airbrush junk, like like shockingly unpleasant.
This is a real thing.
It's a real thing, and it keeps going and it's not testillating at all.
It's awful.
No, And but I caught my youngest son watching it with his buddy and like ten year old boys and they and I was like, what hell were you doing?
And they were trauverized, like, oh my god, this is horrible. I was like, watch it all you Like I remember back in the day, like when I was a teenager, you couldn't find like naked people on TV. It was like a big deal to There was like some show on PBS, I think steam Bath or something like that nice and it was like, oh, there's a shot of a woman, this shower's naked. And every single teenage boy in my whole high school like watching PBS just tecasting
to see a naked lady. I remember, we used to for some reason, they're used to.
Why In Scotland and I was a kid, you would sometimes find torn up pieces of pornographic magazines in the street.
Oh rude, the whole thing. Pay forward occasionally s he's a ripped picture of some Yeah, oh that's more traumatic. Like then, you can only get excited when you see ripped up women. You don't want to you don't want that. That's very dark, bad, that's very dark.
So you meet Susanne at the first that you opened the door she comes to your house, is up.
I went to her place, all right.
So she opens the door and you're like, oh sweet, she's gorgeous. I'm ready in love with her, so long until you get married?
Ah, one of that. That was ninety nine or so. I think it was. We met sometime in I think July ninety nine. We got married February two thousand and one, so you know, year and a half. Yeah. Yeah, Now let me ask you this then.
Was this before you had done the Hatfield Metallica immage change or AFT?
It was right after? She I mean what I say? Yeah, there was a plan apparently, folksy al yan Kevig appears on the door. I get it. Yeah. And she didn't, you know originally when when Bill Moomy pitched her on the idea of going out with me, she was like, I don't you weird? Al, I don't know. And but she gave me the benefit of the dout because she said, well, maybe he's not like that all the time, but you're awesome. I think that's now we have a mutual friend. And
who introduced us, I guess socially is Tom Less. Tom has been a huge He's Tom again, one of those in Britain they would call him eccentrics. It's like you Emo, Tom Tom.
Extremely gifted performers who march to the beat of their own drum. Yes, And I wonder if that kind of thing is encouraged by social media, if there's more of that, or if there's less of it because people are frightened of stepping outside the orthodoxy because you can get a lot of trouble.
Now, Yeah, I don't, you know, I think weirdness is kind of encouraged on social media. People try to stand out, and as long as you don't do anything deemed cancelable, I think, you know, I think.
It changes every I mean, look, I try to be cognizant of that, try to be respectful that manners change, but it seems like they changed very quickly, and there's not really a consensus on what's canceled and was not.
Yeah, well, apart from the obvious, but the you know, I don't do you ever think about it? Do you ever worry about it? Yeah? Well, yeah, I mean, you know, I've been releasing records, you know, since the late seventies, so some of the you know, I obviously tried not to be offensive or do anything that I thought that would come back to haunt me later. But there's there's some languages, some words that I used in the eighties and nineties, which you know are now considered slurs or offensive.
So you know, in fact, there's one song that I did on this last tour which had had an offensive word in it, and I sang the word, and then the whole band stops, and I have to explain, like I wrote this on the nineties, I didn't mean any offense by it. Language is a fluid thing. But you know, can you can you give me I don't I'm not gonna ask to say the word, but can you let me give me a clues to what the word is or what it pertains. I'll say it because I say
it is hermaphrodite. Is that a slur? Well it is apparently, you know I thought it was a medical Well, that's exactly, and that's exactly how I explained it, you know, in my apology that you know, when I wrote it in the nineties, I thought, okay, this is a technical medical term, and this is you know, the person in my hypothetical story happens to be one, right, And apparently that word is considered a slur nowadays, which.
Obviously, I'll be honest, it's not a word I use often. No, No, I know, yeah, and you know, I can see the why you would use it because it's clearly it writes with stuff.
And and you know, because language changes. I mean, even the word lame, uh, you know, which is in common usage. And you know, I haven't stopped saying that, but I mean the point has been made like, oh, that's an ablest term, Like okay, I can see that, but still it's it's such a common and and there's there's another word that I used and I won't say this word, but it's a word that both Beyonce and Lizzo got trouble for. It rhymes with plastic, do you know what
I mean and begins with an sp oh gosh, yeah, right, okay. So, and you know, in North America that's just considered like a goofy, you know, yes, kind of person. But in other parts of the world it's considered a horrible slur.
Well, you know what's interesting is that the words you're the word you're talking about. When I was a kid growing up, it was used two in medical terms to describe or like you. If someone was going to a school for people that suffered from disabilities or had disabilities, they would be called that.
Yeah, and they would they would be on the sign in the school. Yeah. And it's not that I have any objection to language change, and it does change, but I think, for I feel like.
There is a great deal of legitimacy in the changing of the language. But I also feel there's a lot of people out there on the balls of their feet just waiting to be offended when there's no genuine harm meant by it. And I think that that's counterproductive to making a society more inclusive and less oppressive to people who aren't having it as easy as as the rest of us.
Yeah. I mean so I try my best. I you know, again, I'm trying very hard not to offend. But there's boundaries, and there's there's a lot I don't think. I don't think it's possible to do comedy and not offense, because you really think that, I really do. I thought, I don't mean that you have to be offensive. Yeah, I mean that, Well, somebody's always going to find something exactly That's what I mean. I don't think you have to. Look, I've become more and more I used to like.
Be really you know, the F word and the act and all that kind of stuff, And I was quite raw and harsh stuff.
And that was the way that I came out.
I mean, look, I was a comedian going on between punk rock acts in the late nineteen seventies early nineteen eighties.
It was appropriate for the time. But now if I go out and pretend to be angry about things like I'm not angry, I'm a little chubby, you've got an his car, you know that, I agree. Well, that's the thing.
I mean maybe I don't know if you had the same kind of experience, but I found that I'm sometimes reluctant to do anything ironic on social media because no matter how obvious it is that you're making a joke and you're known, you know, as a you know, somebody who makes jokes for a living, there's gonna be a certain percentage of the people reading that going, oh, he really does that, he really is serious about that. Yeah, it's an interesting thing.
I the example I used I wrote a book a couple of years ago, and in it I was writing about my sexual awakening and the phrase I used to describe the first inklings of sexual awakening was all women in Scotland were called margaret before nineteen seventy four. Now what I meant by that, the literally reconstruct there is everything was just my anti Margaret. And then when you start going into puberty, suddenly no, all women are your anti Margaret and there you know, and things are different.
I didn't mean all women in we're called Margaret. Very few women in Scotland are called migrants at any given time. Like, actually, well, I left the light in the book, but somebody did say to me during the editing process, no, that's not true, and I'm like, yeah, it's it's it's slanguage, it's weird, it's a I don't know if I struggle with the idea of taking everybody else's opinion into what I'm doing.
I don't want to offend people. I know you don't.
But at the same time, I kind of like Ricky Serves is a very nice line about it. It's just like, look, just because you're offended, it doesn't mean you're right. It just means you're offended, you know. And I think that's the bottom line of it, that I don't want to offend you. But if you are offending, I think might actually like.
To offend people. Oh no, he loves he yeah, ye, but but that's do you know, no, not personally.
He's it's funny. He's the sweetest guy. Yeah, it's the strangest thing because he has that. Did you ever meet Don Rickles? No, no, almost saying Rickles. I became friendly with Wreckles and he was very very sweet, like an old grandpa and very nice. Oh yeah, famously right, And and of course his act was extremely abrasive and they would set on fire for it.
Now, I mean, it's it's just terrible. It would not fair, you know what, and rightly, so you have to move on for that. But but he is a man would be horrified if he thought he was hurting someone's feelings. Yeah, and it's you don't set out to hurt someone's feelings. And if you can avoid it and do comedy, I think that's great. But I honestly think I don't think you can, Like he don't go to a roast and then going they yeah, they were mean to have you
ever been roasted? Uh No, I don't think so. But then he's young, it's.
Got to be common, it's going to be coming. I never really understood that to be the whole concept of roast. Yeah, I'm like, I don't like this. I mean honestly, I don't.
It's like I asked to do a couple like they asked me to do Bob Socket's roast. Huh. And I loved Bob. Yeah.
I was like no, and Bob was like, now you come and you say these mean things about you know, Bob, I'm not going to do it. Yeah, I love you, Bob, I'm not going to do it. It's like it's joking. I went, no, Bob, it's it's mean.
I'm not doing it. Yeah.
I mean, look, sometimes I think you're a dick, but no one else needs to say that. Did you know Bob a couple of times? Yeah, he's a sweet man.
Yeah. It was again someone who was very different to his act. Yeah. I was reading recently that Chevy Chase was really upset after his roast because he really thought they weren't joking. Well, you know, with his reputation, I think maybe they weren't joking. I don't. I don't know if they were or they weren't. But it's a strange thing. So what's going on with you? Now? What's happening? Things are slow and I'm not touring probably for at least another year year and a half. Just kind of letting
the ground lay fallow for a bit. So years of plenty seven years of famine. Yeah, so so next year actually was a huge question mark. I'm not sure it's gonna come to Scotland. Hang out for Maybelle. I know you got a new castle, got to check it out. But it's not a newcastle. It's new to me, new to you. Yeah, that's the main thing. Yeah. And also there is this myth I live in a castle. It's it's not a castle. It's a house that looks a bit like huge and made out of stone. It's got
a motor around. Well yeah, but look these are these are taken a castle. Yes, you're an architect famously, So I didn't you know, I didn't realize that. Not a condo. Come on, it's not a condo. You don't live in a condo either. No. See, it's your big union guy. I believe in it. I believe in it. Yeah, I just think. Yeah, I mean I support the unions. I'm in several of them, and yeah, absolutely how many of you?
I mean w G A and DGA, isn't you. Yeah, and Musicians Union as well. Yeah, yeah, they're a great union. The Yeah they like saved you guys, do.
You remember maybe it was different for you. I remember auditioning to get you had the audition to get in the Musicians Union. No, that was the for me. It was equity, British Actors equity.
You had to It was so hard to get in that you had to the only reason I started doing stand up because you had to have some.
Gigs that where you were a performer. But you couldn't get gigs unless you remember a British Actors ecage, okay, So the only thing that was open was you could maybe get a couple of gigs as a stand up in a nightclub or something like that.
Then you had to take a long of the union office. If you got three, they would let you in the Union.
I got I got two and they overpay a TV show, so I had to join the Union in Scotland. But it was it was different back then, though. I guess did you what did you? Did? You play? The according? Yeah? And I have it just the biggest memory of this. But I mean in the early eighties when I first joined the Musicians Unit. I have a memory of coming into the Union offices and all these people with instruments and they had to like play like thirty seconds the proof well oh you are a guitar player, Oh you
are or whatever. And I just remember the one guy that was a drummer and he just came in, didn't have anything with him, and they said just slop on your knees and he did like a little okay, you're a drummer. Great, okay, sign the papers. You know what, if he was a real drummer, he'd have been doing that on the way in. They never stop, never stop. I still have a drum kit. Now. I still like no play, I mean do I do? I still play, and I still kind of I still want to listen
to music, particularly bands. There are you know, rock and roll bands and stuff. I tend to. You know, your ear tends to go to where you're interested in, and that's that's what I look for. And even to the point of I will listen to music that I don't like because I know the drums good. Do you ever have like jam sessions to your house or does Liam play? Yeah?
Liam does play. Limp plays guitar. He's good too, and he became fascinated with it. And yeah, we we kind of mess around the house. Katie tunstill was a friend of mine. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, So Katie was at the house in Scotland and Liam's first jam says it was me playing drums and Katie playing the bass.
He was playing the guitar. That's so cool. Is that old ting ting song I think or some velvet underground song or something. And it was fun. It was fun, and I just it was my life and then I just fell into a different thing. Yeah. You know, my daughter, we both really like Katie, but she was very much
into uh. I forget what the album was, but but it was during the period of time when my daughter played the bass for like three days, like we've had literally every instrument in the house at some point or another, thinking that she was gonna pay. You know, she gave recording lessons. She's like everything and now she's in college. She was playing the harp, which was literally the only instrument we did not have that awesome instrument, but pay Katie still songs on the bass for a week. Katie's
great and she is. She's got a crazy story.
I mean, she's she's a really interesting person and she could she's a real kind of she's like you, she's like a real musician.
She's a real proper it's not there's nothing else going on. She's a musician and she's a super talented person. Anyway, that's enough. Well, it's always a pleasure. I love you, love you long taking my love to love you. Man, all right, talk to you, said