Jay Leno

My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast is joy. I talk to interest in people about what brings them happiness. Here's my favorite car collector. I think he had a late night show at some point I can't remember.

Here he is Jelena. All right, we're up. So here's the thing. So we're not no video?

No, Well, here's the thing why I no video because this is the reason why I don't do it, because people like you, some performers want so much makeup and hair done.

Yeah not me, no, no you.

So I tell you what I'm doing right here, right right as I'm enjoying a cup of coffee.

Now, I know that you don't drink coffee.

No, don't drink coffee, and you don't apocops. I ever had of Seinfeldt on comedians and cars getting confident.

It was awful. You know, I don't like hot liquids.

Now, see this is but this is what about soup? Does soup come into.

The soup is just a way to screw you out of a meal?

Enough soup.

Oh, here's a bowl and it's wet, thanks so having a wet bowl, yeah, something I can chew, thank you.

But Hold on a second.

Is it because it's a whole liquid or because it's just a liquid.

It's not a meal? Does it have to be a meal?

Yeah? But you but you won't have soup because it's a drink.

Well, plus, I don't like hot liquid.

If you don't like, what about gaspacho or maybe a cold borche No horrible?

So so really it's about liquid. Do you ever drink any liquids at all? Yeah?

I drink a lot of water, a lot of fruit juice.

You drink beer?

No, never had a beer in my life.

You never had a beer. Never a beer. You ever drink any of the hoots at all? No?

No, No, I have nothing to guess that. I have no interesting And I was always a designated driver. I was always a car guy. So to me, it's not true because you love the car. I'll drive you Jerk's home and that's fine.

All right. So you so very few liqu and no soup. Well, I see I'm worried that.

You know.

Look, none of us are getting younger, jay right right, So the certain point in life, soup is kind of gets attractive to the older gin.

That's all I'm saying.

Seventy three and I haven't been there yet.

Well that you're just saying that you know that there was your souper years. Maybe coming up and get used to it, let's hope not all right? So listen, your mother was Scottish and my mother was Scotish. And my wife has a theory about stand up comedians that their mothers have to be Scottish or they have to be cold with bad boundaries.

So my mom was not cold. My parents are very good that way.

She have good boundaries. I don't know what you mean by boundaries. Well you know, and not do I but you know a lot of people talk about it.

Well you know, how long are you in Hollywood? In an hour now? And you've got boundaries?

Yeah, I mean I'm just wondering that.

You see, I never heard any of it.

You know.

It's so funny where I grew up, I was the laziest person.

That anybody knew. I come here, Oh, Jay's the hardest working guy. No, it's just where you grow up. It's that you know, you grew up in New England with Silence Manor and Ethan Frome and all these depressing books about fresh.

Yet you work hard that you die, then you got Littlematoya?

Is it you die.

After you get and then you die whatever it is.

Yeah, it's just all life is awful, you know, Sonny, you comes to Hollywood and all the lights of ride and it's sunny outside.

And wage were you when you came here?

I started coming here, I guess when I was nineteen twenty something like that, not in nineteen twenty nine, when.

You were nineteen twenty nine. But here's the thing.

You came out here to do comedy because you're you're Boston right right, right right? So did you ever do stand up in Boston before you came out here?

Oh?

Yeah, you know that was a great thing because growing up in Boston then I never met another stand up comedian. Occasionally comedians would come to like the Chateau to Ville in Framingham. It was one of those fancy well yeah, it's one of those places like near a mall and it's got like a fountain in front. That I worked there with Tom Jones, I worked there with Perry Como, I like Dion Warwick, you know all those acts from

To you wanted to be a stand up dot Young at nineteen and twenty years old. Oh yeah, you got to be sucked up in some way then, because nobody wants to be a stand up.

Why wouldn't you want to be a standard?

Well back in the day, nobody wants. I mean nowadays people want to do it.

Interesting.

I when I watched TV, Yeah, all comedians were middle aged Jewish men like Rodney, like Henny Youngman, all those guys, all all the catskill comics. And then all of a sudden, Robert Klein came along. Was a huge influence on me. Robert was about ten years old than me, and he was a middle class kid. Parents weren't wealthy, but he didn't grow up doing the depression, just talking about the

You know I didn't.

I didn't do any George's material, but I just to get a rhythm to it.

You know that's interesting. Yeah, And were you friendly with George.

Yeah, it's very new judge. From the very beginning. It was always very nice to me.

So was client.

You know, all comics are pretty nice. Steve Martin helped me get this, and I show Steve Martin told Johnny about me. I chose Johnny about Ellen DeGeneres. I find comedians help other comedians. I don't find it to be this. I mean, there were there obviously some thrown people around, and that's not unusual, but it's not the norm. You know, as a comic, you can't do every job. If I couldn't get something, I go, oh, you should. Like there's a gig I do in Rhode Island. I at the

Bi Billy Gardell, and so I brought you know, Billy Gardell.

Great guy, wonderful comic.

Yeah yeah, and he did a great job. He killed and I felt good that I helped him. He felt good. They got to do a corporate day that paid a lot of money and it was fun.

So I'm so wait, hello, you and I be friends for a while. You didn't think of putting me up for the fucking corporate.

No, I never never thought, actually what to do it? Next year?

Yeah, I'll do it next year. I'll get it. Yeah, yeah, okay, because let me just say it's on the East Coast.

I like the idea cars and like car gotta work, you gotta work reasonably clean, super.

I did gigs with you, right, Yeah, let's do it. I'll do it. Yeah.

I don't mind working clean. The older I get and fight, the easier it gets to work clean. I've noticed that.

Well, you know, I find when you're twenty five, yeah, and you say the word pussy girls go oh, well, we said, oh my god, when you're sixty five ooh, not old guys.

And you know what, they got a point, Yeah, exactly, it is. It's true. It's true.

You know, it's fun to grow INDI I act yeah, because my point of view is always from an adult observing things, how stupid this is or whatever it is, you know, And as a young person it didn't work quite as well as it does now. Now you can be a bit curmudgeously.

And I was.

Struck by your stand up, like when we were working in the Midwest this summer, like you threw it down. Man, it's like a full solid hour and you and like the material is fresh and.

Well you try to have a joke every six to nine seconds. That's that's I think, really you see it.

Because I don't think of it like that. I don't.

I mean, everybody's different, it's just different to me.

It's like a music show.

You open with your hits boom boom boom joke, junke junk junk joke, and then in the middle you do the comedic version of a battle. You tell story, Oh you know, my ipe and I would go to this place, and there are little humorous jokes along the way, as opposed to That's.

Very interesting to me because I do think of it in kind of musical terms. Yeah, as well, it's a it's kind of a musical perform Are you musicians?

You play anything I played trumpet, but then I realized I couldn't talk and play trumpet at the same time.

That's a terrible instrument for you to play.

You should play like.

A guitar in fourth grade at the time. Jay, I'm going to tell you something right now. You know I adore you.

But because you played trumpet in fourth grade doesn't mean you played fucking trumpet right exactly.

That's why I quickly got rid of it.

But you do see, I think a lot of the stand ups that I like are also the thinking musical terms of what they do.

You know, the most musical comic I can think of as Franklin a Ji.

You know Franklin, I don't know.

African American comic very big in America.

He had an album out.

Thirty forty years he moved to Australia.

Right.

He's a jazz comedian. He plays jazz and he does kind of it. He has one of my favorite bits. He talks about the guy. Oh, there was an Olympic guy from some country and he ran in the marathon and he came last. He was dead last, and he just as he's running, he's going on. I mean, I've been training, I've been working a I could have sat on a couch and watch TV. I'd still be last. I mean, it does a lot more to it than that.

He does a lot better, but.

It's just very funny and he just thinks in jazz terms. You know, I was fortunate I got to work with all the great jazz musicians, Miles Davis stands against Mose Allison, A Montremal, Rousson, Roland Kirk, all these guys.

And with jazz. There was a place called Lenny's on the Turnpike in Boston, Okay, and.

That was a jazz club and real hard called Buddy Rich, real hardcore jazz, the real deal. You went to see that and the first time because usually I used to play scriptnized, but now you suck suck. People just screamed, so you really didn't know if you're any good or not right. But with the jazz, onis man and walked on say silence.

Did they noted and snap their fingers?

You know, not quite that much, but they would listen, you know, like Miles's audience, any of those audiences, I went, oh, this is really you know ross sound.

Roland.

I don't know if you've ever heard of him, he might be before your time.

It's possible.

Ros sound Roland correct. African American guy, blind, right.

But famous because he could hold a note indefinitely, and he could play two instimits in the same time. He could play the sacks and the clarinet at the same time.

And that's crazy. How does that even pause?

Because he could breathe through his nose.

Okay, okay, but he was blind.

So and we played primarily African American artists. It places like the Sugar Shack in Boston, and he would go on stage and you go, I'm gonna.

Bring out a young brother. I Probab's gonna tell that it is, you know. He gives the whole thing like I was a black head.

Yeah, please welcome j.

Letto, you know, and I come out and go.

He doesn't.

And he thought that was the funniest thing, right. He loved doing that routine every night with people, bring on a young.

Brother, tell it like it is, Yeah, who you know? Black audience is. I get all worked up, you know, and then I walk out, what's this?

You know, here's the thing because you talk about that right now, like you even telling that story to me right now, like people are going to get bent out of shape because of you know, you mentioned race of any kind and this, you know, different races of any kind. And people are already on the balls of their feet looking for a fight, which I kind of I'm getting a little tired of it.

I think everyone else is too, does it.

I'm the best one happened a couple of months ago. Yeah, my wife maybe in a little Chinese restaurant Westwood. It's got like fourteen tables if that many, and the mother runs the cashier and takes the orders, and the dad's to cook, and it looks like the kids or cousins.

It looks like a family.

So we got our food and sitting there and you're kind of it's right next to UCLA. In fact, it is UCLA, and a lot of students are on the table. I just said to my wife, God, this woman's really working her ass off. And a girl in the next table, or a young woman at the next.

Table, goes, uh, she's a server. And I said there, I'm not mad here, but I do think before I speak.

I said to myself, is she a waitress, No, she's stewardess. No, she's a woman. First, let me say this woman is working her ass off. Now, if I had said the server is working her ass, you probably saying she's a woman.

Right, and you should have probably just said, hey, you're doing a great job in that way.

But to me, because I don't really want to. I mean, first of all, I get an annoyed because I think, oh, do you really think I'm being sexist by saying that. I would say this man. I didn't say girl, I didn't say chick. I didn't say waitress. I said this woman. I mean, what is wrong with it? And she had to well, now, you're if I had said server, isn't that demeaning?

I mean, that's all she is. Isn't she a.

Woman defining someone by their job?

Yeah?

I said so, But she was so anxious to jump on this.

Well, I think it's a it's a little kind of fashion that the young folks went through for a while that they wanted to fine.

You know what when I was, when I was their age, I was a punk rocker. I was a pan of the ass too.

Oh yeah, I know when you think about a stupid people.

Our generation was the burning down the Bank of America building, and oh my god, remember the SDS to to make up for racial injustice. They should kill every third white baby born.

I remember something.

I remember some SDS guy saying that early on Okay, you know, just crazy talk, just crazy talk. So to me, a lot of his like, I never use the word bitch on stage. I know women don't like the words, so I don't use it. And to me, you know, it's funny because I do a joke where I see the women where I say, your Northwestern University did a study about the differences between.

Men's brains and women's brains. This is amazing.

Listen to this, and you see the women go, you know, they kind of like it seems women's brains are located in their head.

Who saw that coming? And then they and they laugh more than it.

Is funny because I'm not It's not an insult. It's not the usual.

Well I never understood anyone.

Look, to me, an audience is it doesn't have a race or a gender or anything like that.

It's an audience is an audience and you don't.

Know, but no, but an audience does have the best audiences is a fully male, female, black, white, Asian integrated audience where they all totally For example, you know, if you have done a corporate event where it's all men. Yes, unless it's all football jokes or gun jokes or something, it's terrible.

I did it.

I did a corporate events once Pele Beach and I used to do this bit about Tom Cruise. This is a long time ago because I actually am a big fan of Tom Cruise.

But it wasn't the most flattering really yeah.

Yeah.

It was a piece of stand up right. And it was just after he jumped on Oprah's couch and I was dicking around with that, and and I was doing this piece and this piece. It was a good it was a good bed and every night it killed. I said, well, I'll do it this corporate It was a clean bit. It was nothing like that in it. And at this corporate event, I did this Tom Cruise thing. Died on his ass, like really badly died nothing, sure, nothing crickets

It was this lawyer.

Oh my god, it was because you do a lot of corporate gigs and you work clean.

I've seen you don't work. You don't work squeaky clean.

No, PG.

Thirty. Right, so you.

You work, you don't you drop the F bomb and you don't do that kind of thing. But but it's kind of it's grown up, right, it's an adult show, but it's not an adult try.

It's not balloon animals.

Right, No, it's definitely not that.

Do you ever run into it with because I've had people say to me at corporate gigs.

You gotta be really careful here. They really do you ever they ever say that?

You know?

Everybody trusts?

I always ask, is this.

Like a born again thing? Is a chairman the born again guy or something?

Would you be able to cope with that? So if he will, I can work.

You know something.

I booked myself into Oral Robinson University, want just to see if I could play it, and they said, look, we don't like sex jokes, we don't like drug jokes, politics, everything else is fine, and they were fine, they just didn't want any dick jokes.

Right, So that's probably not one I should be doing. No, no, no, I don't do it, none of those jokes. No, no, no.

But what I mean to me, a guy is paying me to do a job. I don't quite get guys to go. So I told him to go shove it and I did what.

Yeah, I don't get I got to.

Agree with you. I don't understand that. What are you then? Don't take the gig like to me?

I know the you know, to me, an audience is like an orchestra. You want to get a nice rolling laugh going. I remember I had a joke. I'm sorry, I don't remember the joke, but it was when Hillary Clinton was running for president, and also so was Reggie Jackson and a bunch of other people, and I had a joke about each candidate. And the Reggie Jackson joke was a political joke. It wasn't about him being black. It's just okay that got a laugh when they got to the Hillary joke.

I remember I was going.

And I just hated the guttural laugh.

I got on here because I realized, oh, they think I'm they think I'm making fun of her because she's a woman candidate as supposed to just a candidate.

So I just dropped the joke.

I took it out and it kept it and the audience is much better because it just kept a nice even you know, you got a nice.

Rolling boil going with the craft.

Yeah, and then you do something that's overly sexist or overly whatever.

I know what you mean. I've felt it as well.

There are gags that the joke's not worth it. Yeah, yeah, l Sally, you still always say that to me. Peter lo Sally was my boss and Late Night. I don't know, you know, Peter did the Tonight Show for so long and whenever I did a joke that I you know, it was like near the knuckle, right, and you would say, is it.

Is it worth it? Is it really worth it? That joke? Isn't that good? Because he would say, you know, jokes like a house or a car, there's always another one. You know, you can do another joke right right.

And when I first started, I was like, no, that is worth it right. Very quickly I was like, now you're right, fuck it, We'll we'll be here tomorrow night.

It's uh, we'll do that. Yeah.

Yeah.

To me, you just sort of learned to read your audience.

Let's talk a.

Little bit about Late Night though, bringing that up because of Peter when you took over on the Tonight Show.

So when was that early nineties ninety one?

I started guest hosting in eighty six, eighty seven.

Right, how long would a guest host gig B would be like a week? Would it be like a night?

No?

Well you got one night?

Right?

And Johnny used to do that towards the end of his run. Right, he would bring people in and.

Yeah, and there were like, uh six or seven guys that were being considered.

Did you ever have guest hosts when you were doing it?

No, I have to die.

No.

Once.

I did it once because Katie Couric wanted to switch seats. NBC thought it would be a fun thing this, so we did it one day.

They did the same thing with Drew Carrey. Yeah right, Yeah, I didn't quite get that, but no, I didn't know.

To me, when you have guest hosts, it just means more work for the staff, right, because they may have to put the monologue together instead of you. They have to figure out can this guy talk to a sked and go over every single note.

It's a job.

It's very hard to do for one Night's a little easier to do it for, you know, a couple of years and one night?

I get that?

Is that something? Because it's funny? You grew up in an era. Correct me if I'm wrong, But I think I'm right. You grew up near when Johnny was the gold standard, and obviously he was the king. So did you have aspirations to be the Tonight Show holister? Was it just like because you were a come you kind of drifted into that direction.

You kind of went that way. Yeah.

It was the only job in show business that I liked, right, because I like to be a round show business as opposed to in it. You know.

Yeah, I think I saw a movie with you in it once, like years years terrimories.

But to me it was a jungle movie. Did I see you in the Bill Maher in the.

Job via the Jungle?

Yeah?

Yeah, I can't remember what the movie was. I've done some real clunkers as well.

I just liked you because, like I say, I don't want to be Charlie Sheen, but I boy, I enjoyed being a round Trali she I enjoy watching Charlie crash and burn and.

And not in a mean way, just in a funny way.

You want to be around the circus folk, but you don't necessarily have that's right, That's.

Right, and I used to enjoy it. That's what's great about being your host of it. I don't have to go to the party. To me, it's really what happened to the party. Oh my god, I can't believe that you know and you hear the story or whatever it might be.

So yeah, I felt that way about did you watch the movies?

When people were on the show, always watch the movie?

See I never watched the movie.

I had a completely different What was your philosophy then, that you wanted to know the movie would be to be able to talk about it.

I think people like it. I know a lot of guests if you made the effort to read their book or whatever it is they had, Yeah, they would really be impressed.

I mean they would write you a note. I can't believe you went to my movie.

No, I never I never did. I did the complete opposite. That's funny.

No, but just because well you were clearly much more successful than I wasn't it. But what I felt about it was if I knew about it, then the two of us are talking about the movie we've both seen. If you were on plugging a movie and I haven't seen it and we're talking about and you're telling me about the movie, I'm like, oh, this sounds like a movie, And I want to see. And that was my philosophy. And Pete used to fight me on a lay. You're like, nah, you just told me it's a big star. You got

Yeah, but you talk about what you liked about it or what the you know, the character delineation or whatever it is they did.

Come on, No, I enjoyed that part of it.

I would try watch a movie if I got to a part of that was partially challenging for the actor.

I remember that, and I bring it up in the interview and.

Oh, you know, because everybody in show business is insecure.

Oh sure, they think, I remember once.

You know, publicity agents are my favorite.

I wanted to see.

Yes, I say, the guest is, but one of those subtle marches through I said, hey man, pretty good job. Really enjoyed you in the movie. And the president pretty good?

Pretty good? I what it was great. You didn't say great.

No to me, I meant really that means oh, I went like, whoa pretty good man?

Nice job?

And I said nice job.

But I said, I generally enjoyed it, well, didn't sounds like okay, guys young at me, it's so shut up, you know.

I bet you I can tell you there's like off the microphone. I bet you I can tell you this.

But the thing is, I think about it as well, like the show business. Because you said everyone in the show business insecure. I think you're right, and I think that a lot of people in show business they're crazy, damaged, you know, unemployable in any other business.

That's true, and they're all a little little nuts.

And the question that I go asked, I don't know if you guy asked this, but like if there was somebody on who's like super famous, like Tom Hanks was on or so, people will always say, well they nice? Was he a nice guy? Was was she a nice woman? Was are they nice? And like, well, they were nice to me? But because they're doing a talk show and they're professional. But the choice is why is that important to people like you know, Like I don't know, I'll ask your question.

Did your opinion of Woody Allen movies change after you heard all the things.

Oh the stuff about Woody Allen?

Yeah, I mean did a change or did you think, well, it's a.

It's a good question, but it's a little tricky for me because I wasn't a huge fan anyway.

I won't a huge anyway. But I like someone I like to think like. To me, it's funny when I hear someone tell an exaggerated version of a story where they did something mean but didn't mean to But if I know there really means oh no, that kind.

Of really did mean to hurt somebody.

Yeah, you know, so to me, yeah, I think it does matter. I always equate kindness with intelligence. I've never met a kind person who was not intelligent. And by intelligent, I don't mean it's mathematically smarter. I mean just the idea that a kind person can read another person's face and realize where to go, or how to be sensitive, how to whatever. To me, that's intelligence. To me, I find really cruel people and mean people. They might be BookSmart,

Yeah, of course it does.

It's actually it's a very nice way of looking at it. I think that that's true. But if I look at someone like, here's someone I don't know, I know nothing about them, but I'm a fan of his work.

Ousio was born.

Right right Osi was born, is like, you know, he's a game changer of a singer in a band, hugely important.

I don't need him to be nice. Did he bite the head off the bat? Or did he not buy the head off the bat? I don't know.

If I was, you know, like, if I was heavily involved in the world the bats, maybe it would be.

Well, but let's go back. Did the wordy Allen stuff change your opinion of his work?

You know, did it? You know what it probably did? If I'm honest, I probably yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I think you're fighting a bat is different than you know, yeah, well, you know.

Yea marrying your daughter?

Yeah, so what did you do?

Did you bite the head off a bat?

Maybe?

Or did you actually.

Definitely marry your stab dough exactly exactly. I hear what you're saying.

These are extremes, all right, But what I think is kind of weird to me is that maybe not the nice, but the idea that everyone's going to be like a Sunday school teacher while.

Giving sample someone it's a way to get here. I'm not a big road rage guy. One day I'm here in La you know, a guy behind b b BB, you know, like, oh, he wants to go around me, go on me. It goes around me, gives me the finger, yells you know, fuck you. So I come up to the next light.

I look at him. I go, let me guess, what.

Are your fifty five bald, fat? Divorce?

Your kids? Hate your job? What was your greatest day? Was it in high school?

And the guy starts crying, Oh Jesus.

And he goes, yes, you're right. I went, oh yeah.

I realized as a comic you have the ability to size people up pretty quickly, and I'm hitting. Everything I said was exactly So I said, pull over, pull up. So I got on mic, I get this guy. Look I'm sorry.

He goes you go.

I got kids.

I got two girl They don't speak to me.

Oh my god, this is a terrible so I said, they did.

I like Taylor Swift. I said, I tell you what. I got Taylor Swift on the show on Wednesday. Okay, why don't you bring your two girls? But they like to oh god, what do you Okay? So and Taylor Swift, I told her she couldn't have been nicer, came out, gave the kids a couple of albums signed. I mean, the sweetest person you could imagine.

Yeah, just a lovely, lovely person. She didn't have to do it. I said, I had this guy and I cut him off, and so many's I mean the guy, the guy literally had a breakdown.

Oh my god.

But you know what's interesting about that story, which I like that story. I like it for you, I like it for Taylor Swift. I like the fact that it happened. I wonder if that guy, if that happened today, that guy would have a phone in your face record you slicing.

And dicing them and they posted it on the internet. Maybe maybe not more than likely, you know, maybe I got you.

Know something you can only live in the time you live in. That's true.

It's like could Muhammad Ali beat the Rocky Marciano?

You know? All right? You want to take that? No, all right?

You know that kind of thing.

So yeah, I know, but I mean, you're right.

I want to complain about it a little bit though, because I feel like the filming of everything is like we volunteered to be in Big Brother.

It's not even like someone on each other.

Funny thing about Big Brother because people always say Big Brother is watching blood. You know, to me, probably the greatest day in media history was the Rodney King trial. The Rodney King thing is Rodney King coming along? According to the police, he had seven people in a Hyundai going one hundred and seventeen miles an hour to all exaggerated. Okay,

Have you traveled the outside of the US, travel South, Yeah, you just show.

Us well like do England and no, I don't really work it where I well, I've been to Italy, I in Saudi Arabia, but a few places. Yeah, I don't find it totally different.

Everybody speaks English, well yeah to you, but I mean if you're doing a corporate gig in Italy, people will speak you know. It's like I've talked to Tomas, right, you know Tomas who works with me, right right right, So Tomas who you know produces this podcast.

You also, I love Italy, right right?

I love Italy And to my sister me, you love Italy, I said, yeah. He says no, he Tamasa's has managed heavy mail bunds. He has to work in Italy. He said, if you had to work, oh my god, very idea. Yeah, it's like because it is that kind of things when people say, you know what the.

Oh I love Scotland so much. You Scottish people are so friendly.

I went tried being Scottish with a Scottish person and see it fucking friendly. Oh yeah, yeah, it's a saying. So listen, let's talk a little bit about.

The cars, all right. What do you want to know? Well, I want to know how it started. Was it your dad?

Was it was I.

Go up in a rural area and they're always broken. Snowmobiles and abandoned cars not so much now now where you abandoned a car, it's soft working. Yeah, it's got a computer that In the old days, people are abandoned a car because distributor broke. All right, that's an easy enough fixed to somebody who has a little bit of mechanical knowledge.

Or there are things of that nature. You know, a car from the.

Teen's twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, you could leave for ae hundred years and you probably get ustarted pretty easy because mechanical things break, electrical things erode, and you look at a relay box. It might be shiny, but you can't tell what's going on inside it, you know. But you can look at a fuel pump and go, oh, well, here's here the gear. The gear is broken or the keyway is busted, you know. So they're easier to fix.

So that was what threw you in, was the mechanical nature of the fact that you could fix them when they.

Were Anything that rolls explodes and makes no you know.

When I was I was like eleven, somebody abandoned a Renault four CV, which is like the French version of the Volkswiger. And we had three acres behind our house, so my mother would watch us through the kitchen window and we just drive around. And so of course now the parents would be taken away, you'd be putting foster care, and you know, it would be it's a whole difference.

Yeah.

Well you just said it's bare now, yeah, well in some ways, yeah all right, yeah.

So you started playing around to the but as you go older, right, and you start like you.

Here's the thing, here's the main facts of it. We are in an objective business. Some people like you, some people think you suck, some people think you are better than me, some people better. But when you have a car and it's broken and now it's running, no one can say it's not running. You know, you can say it's still not funny. Even if other people laughing and you're not. No one can say the car is not running.

You think that's why old comedians, Well a lot of comedians are in the cars because of the same reason you.

Actually most comedians are not into cars.

On a second, Jerry's in the cars. Yeah, I'm in the cars a little bit. I know a.

Million guys I remember, you know, rich Jenny called me one time. Oh he was funny. He had the best gay marriage joke back in the days when it was illegal.

Yeah, he would go, gay guys have the ideal life, Larry, I'd love to marry you, but it's against the law. Imagine if you can say that to a girl. Oh, I love to are you honey, but it's against the law.

Oh.

I used to love that bit. And you know it wasn't offensive.

It was because that was It's just totally he wasn't enough anybody.

He called me my time. He goes, hey, what's the best car to get girls? I go, well, I said, I I only.

Have one girl and I've had her for like twenty six years at this point, so I couldn't tell you that. But what are you like? Well, a Corvette? Could can you get girls with carpette? Some girls like Corvette? Some girls think how old are you?

You have a Corvette? You know?

I said, So he guess a Corvette, you know, And of course he knows nothing about what it's capable of whatever. Just all this maybe he just got it together. What's the best car to get girls? This is just my favorite thing.

It's funny because I've never really understood that as a thing. I guess maybe back in the day when you know, hey baby, do you want to sit in the rumble sheet or something, but.

A rumble seat. Yeah, back in the day, in the day in the Roman.

Yeah, it was the nineteen twenties in Scotland, So it's funny. Richard Jenny rich was one of the last gigs he had actually, or one of the last things I remember him doing.

He was on my show. Yeah, yeah, and he.

It wasn't long after that that he that he you know, that he killed himself. But I don't like it was anything to do with my show, but be sure.

Yeah.

I met him in Australia when I was starting out.

I was at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, right and he turned up.

He had these two very glamorous looking women right in each arm and he walked into the.

And I was like, how does the guy do that? No, I realized he must have had a Corvette, that's what it was.

But really funny, Oh yeah, super funny.

Oh.

He had very fast.

Quick fast, very New York you know, he had that New York attitude. Yeah, yeah, No, he was really just a great great comic that was a sad, sad story.

It's an interesting thing, and Rich is a good kind of example of it is that the persona that he had on stage was very different to who the guy he was. Rickles was very like this as well. People used to think Rickles was like when he was on he was the inso guy. But you remember Don, he was, Okay, he's a pussy.

Yeah, a very nice guy. I love I love Don. Don was great.

Don was great, but even Don you know, the network would censor him and he would. I remember one time he came on and you know Kevin and Kevin, you banks, he going, there's Kevin, Kevin, Kevin's people in the park a lot still on hub caps, and I go, no, I don't have hubcaps anymore.

Yeah.

You know what's interesting. I remember seeing Rickles once and Rickles never swore that's right, okay, But when he did racial stuff, you know, and and the Puerto Rican guy is this, and the black guys is, and the younger audience is kind of like hmm, and older people laugh hysterically. And then he had a joke with a punchline with him saying shit, you know, just like that, and the young people laughed and the old people went, oh yeah, So it was really two different audiences.

Yeah, it's funny. I never had him say do the ship joke?

Well, it was one of those things where you know, it leads up to it, and then he said, yeah, I can't.

I can't remember what the bit was.

When I first when I first met him, he Peter Sally introduced me to Recles and I said, we we come on the show, mister Rickles. He went, I gotta be honest, kid, I'm gonna wait and see if you're ahead.

Okay, So when he came on the.

Show he said, I said to him, I am I am I hit now He went, no, but I felt sorry for her.

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. He was a strange, strangely lovely.

He a lovely guy and he grew up in the era when the mob guys really controlled it, and till the day he died, he would never tell a story. I go down, let me ask you about no.

No, no, I know, like I remember we went to downtowns once and I said, well let's let's talk like the mob.

But yeah, I mean, he would just not even joke about it.

He was as well as Larry King. You remember Larry was kind of yeah, yeah, he was. He was connected in Miami at one point. Yeah, that was yeah, that was the old school. Guys. Do you ever run into that in Boston when.

You were a kid, because well, I'll tell you they have people there. I'll tell you a story.

One day I get a call from Sinatra had an agent named Jack SULLARTI. They go Jay Sinatra watching to play this Italian thing some some benefited in a country club in Chicago. It's Italian American thing. And you gotta work clean, you instance, you gotta work clean. It's gonna be a priest there, you know. I said, okay, I'll work clean.

Okay.

So I get there, I got up and I do my little thing. I get some laughs and thank you very much, and I sit down. So they introduced this guy. I'm not going to say the name because his kids are still alive, a real gangster, right okay, And he gets upthing you don't want everyboddy, Hey, what the fuck's going on?

You know?

Like that?

And the priest goes like this, and the priest goes, but hey, father, shut up.

He's just screaming. And I mean the veins are popping? Is that when you see a psychopath, just lose it. But you got your ten grand of paper bag, right, father shut just screw and the priests holding his bag with the ten grand and like this, you know, and he's just and guys will holding him like.

Mother fuck, just go after the prie.

You're just screaming at the guy, you know.

He said.

So I'm like, oh jeezuz, and the crowd is like, oh my god, because this guy.

Yeah, that's the way to lose a crowd if you if you go psychle on. Yeah, and it doesn't even have to be the priest, just anybody.

If I remember the story they told, the heartwarming story, some teenagers had broken into his house, yeah and still stolen something. Okay, They found them two weeks later, and they'd been skinned alive. Somebody somebody hung them by their wrists, stripped them and run a straight razor from their arms down to their toes and just peeled off, peeled off a layer of skin until these guys slowly blended it. And it was like, oh, okay, So so that was

He goes, you know, we we have the loan to come to this. You know what he said?

He said no, and I said, well, you know, he started busy fucking explodes again, you know, and I was like, I'm sing I could never.

Play golf with a guy who had skinned people.

And I'm not doing it again.

Do you play golf?

No? No, I don't think you were. If you could play in twenty minutes, maybe, but also.

If the you know, the carts are ship I mean, if it was maybe if you got it, but maybe if you had a Corvette.

Yeah, Corvette.

But I mean but the point of this was just most people think, you know, my favorite thing and the French Connection was the best movie to do. Whenever you watch TV, when a guy bob put the gun down, I know you don't want to shoot me, okay, And the guy always puts the gun down and cannon or magnum or whoever it is, takes a gun away from.

That's a pretty good.

I mean, I believe igot that right. Remember that that was a French connection where the transit cop, the French guy was running from Popeye Doyle.

He's on the train, he's got a gun and the guy goes, look, I know, you don't want to shoot me. You don't want to. He just shoots him. At four or five, there's the guy away, go Okay, thank you. That's what really happens in real life. All these people think they're going to be a hero because they know he's really a good guy. To No, there are evil people in the world. There are bad guys out there, you know.

But I'm still I'm still happy about you bringing up Cannon.

Canon Cannon.

Oh, I love Cannon.

You know what, Like he was like a three hundred pounds deck to if he's eight right right?

He would run after teenagers.

No no what it was. But he would park in the alley and it's big Lincoln and the crook would run towards him and he don't the door. The driver's door bang, and that would hit them, you know, and knock him out.

Yeah. Yeah, And I think it's maybe time for a canon reboot.

I know, Billy hadn't lost all that weight, it'd be he'd be p Yeah, but he's all thin and gorgeous.

Now that's the problem.

He does look great. He does look like one hundred and seventy eight pounds. It's unbelieved he lost the whole person.

Yeah that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, but it looks.

It looks great. And you know something, I was telling him this the other night.

A lot of guys that used to be fat aren't really funny anymore because their whole persona was based on being fat, being fat and being but you know something, you look out, you're thinking, well, he's always been a skinny guy, right, because he doesn't. It doesn't reflect in anything that he does. I mean, he's really he was.

A graceful man. I mean we talked. It's funny.

We talked ages ago because he was a big final. Laurel and Hardy I was a big final. Yeah, I loved, Oh my god. And one of the things about Babe Hardy was that is his grace. Yeah, you know, the lightness of his feet, that kind of it was funny.

You know, Louis Anderson the same thing. You know, we had great dignity about it. He was right, he moved his hands very slowly and fold them in his lap, and and and you never saw sweating on stage, right, But he always had those bits about his mom didn't like cats because they licked the butter and all that kind of stuff.

You know.

You know the guys you're talking we're talking about, you know, the like Louis was one, Gilbert was another one, Gilbert Godfried was another one.

Like real kind of idiosyncratic character that I don't look.

I don't pay a lot of attention to the young comics right now.

I don't know if you do. I don't see a ton of that. I see a lot of a.

Lot of the same, like you know, you you know, a lot of not as much eccentricity of performance. Maybe there's some really good ones. I mean I watched Michelle Wolfe on Netflix.

You see her, you see her new special. You know something. I thought it was terrific.

Yeah, I mean I thought she was because I thought, you know, when she done all the White House stuff, it's like, that's.

A terrible gig. You've done it. I've done yeah.

Well, but I mean it's all politics, it's it's how stinging can it be? And to watch her latest one, all these are real jokes. She's really good, yeah, and really yeah, she's really funny. Yeah and yeah. I really enjoyed it. And the one that's done in three parts or four parts, that's what I'm talking about, twenty minutes segment. And I watch it and I thought, boy, she's really really good and it's a shame that she got beat up so badly over.

Well, you know, it happens with the why. Like Colbert would be.

Up pretty badly for what he did at the White House as well, but ultimately it worked out for him. And I think that it's one of those weird gigs the way I done it. I remember when I did it. I talked to you before I did it. You remember that, yeah, because you remember you said to me, it's just not about you.

Just remember it's not about it, right, right.

And I talked to you, and I talked to Drew Carey because Drew had done it as well.

But I thought it was a hard gig. It's like a really tough corporate.

Well, it's an impossible gig, yeah, because everybody's you know, looking in the mirror. You know, Yeah, that's right. It's like, no, it's really no about it. And when you have time about like Obama, who is a really good comic up. Yeah, he goes on first, and now you follow him. I didn't.

I didn't do it with it, but I did it with George boot.

I did it with Reagan. I'll tell you what I first time. I did it with Reagan. So I'm backstage and this general comes in. He goes, hey, hey, hey, you do comic. Yeah, yes, sir, I'm Janet. He goes, I'm selling. This is my committed to chief. You understand that this is my boss. He is the leader of the free world. You don't insult him. You don't tell you he's just and he's poking me in the chest, you know. And I said, well, okay, yes, you understand.

Yeah, and he leaves. Okay.

I'm thinking, oh man, I'm starting to change jokes now. And then and then all of a sudden, George Schultz comes in, remember him, Yeah, and.

He's really drunk.

He goes, right, now, come here, when you get up there, you nail Ronnie's ass to the wall.

You understand me.

I go but back, I tell me scary he works for me. I'm like, I'm the defense guy. You make fun of that thing on Reagan say.

You think got his hair color? You think got his real hair color? And I go, I don't know, No, you've got I saw Now the what do I do? I remember my opening joke was, I want to cry to you, late Nancy Reagan. I'm winning the Humanitarian of the Year award. I'm glad she beat out that conniving little bitch mother Teresa. That's funny, Joe and Reagan fell off the chair. I thought, well, then I knew I was in Yeah, I knew it was okay. But but yeah, but that it is. It's an impossible game.

It's really hard. Is there any because I've got a couple of jokes.

One of them was the white of Corresponded Dinner that I never told that I was going to do the joke right to the last minute, and.

Then I did.

And I have tuned my life that I've never done. I'll tell you them in a minute.

But do you have any that you thought I was going to do this joke?

You know, it's so funny. The only jokes I remember are the ones that made an impression, Because as a comic, you have things that put a notch in your brain. You just remember, like that first joke I told about, you know, the robin hood thing and all that. I remember, so you remember everything. I remember being five years old and my mother taking me too, because we didn't have

All women drinking wine.

And I'm sitting on the floor and I was looking at the women and I said, hey, Mom, why do women have humps like camels? And they're they're all drunk anyway, and they're all screaming.

I'm thinking, what did I said somewhere about humps?

And I always remember that because I got it. So it's a comic. I think when you say something and it gets a laugh, you just, for the most part pretty much remember it because.

I'm told with the ones that you made a decision not to tell the joke for another reason.

Yeah, I can't I remember the jokes.

I can't remember. I have two. I'm going to tell you them.

One was a White House correspondence to her where there was a lot of trouble was the very last Bush and Cheney and all those guys were up there and Rumsfelders around all that stuff, and I was going to say at the start of it, it's great to be up here. We want to see all these guys together in one room again until the trial. And I thought that was a pretty good joke. And they said to me, probably a good It wasn't the White House. It was one of my own guys said, probably a good idea.

And here's what it was.

I had a book come out, my own, a biography come out, right, And it was the same week as Ted Kennedy, his biography came out. He had just died that week, right, And Mackenzie Phillips's book come out where she talks about having sex with her dad, Oh right, right, And there were all three of us. Was buying for the number one spot in the New York Times bestseller list, and I knew I wasn't going to get it because Ted Kennedy had died and Mackenzie Phillips talks about having

No, No, that's a funny joke.

But you know, the tempers were flaring at the time, and it was probably.

I always did those things you want to say. I'm not going to say who it was, but I had someone on who was very sensitive and they'd just gotten glasses and they had a big nose, and I said, and I wanted to say, oh, did the nose come with the glasses, But I knew.

They'd be yeah, they'd be hard.

Yeah, yeah, well you can you know, you don't want to hurt someone's feelings. We're not in that game, you know what. I feel bad.

That was the thing about being a talk show she got to know.

When I was a comedian when they did the monologue, and I was a host when I did there because a lot of times, yeah, I totally agree with the battle and you lose the war, you know.

Totally totally. I always felt as well. And this is why I love doing your show is because I felt like I was. You took the word host like literally like I'm here to holdt I want you to feel good when you have a good time.

I want you to enjoy yourself.

And that's how I took that from you know, it was on your show. I was like, no, that's how I want to be because I've done other shows where I felt I've got to wash my ass here. You know, I'll put one foot wrong and I'm going to be made a fool of. And I never felt that when I was working with you, and I hope that anyone who was on myles you felt the same way.

It was like, you know, I'm I don't know here. And funny enough, I was talking to Ball.

The other day, who was like my number one all time. You know, she's like on the show every other week.

She was great.

She was you know, everyone has a guess, like I'm sure you had him, and I'm going to ask.

You who it was in a minute.

But but I was talking to her and she said, well, it was weird for me because because I always thought she was a great improviser. And she said, no, I hate that. I always like knowing what I'm going to do. I was like, that's weird. I always thought you loved improvise, and then that's why you always did my show and she went, no, I.

Just trusted you, right, And I was like, oh, that's great. It makes me feel good. Yeah yeah, and so tell me who you were.

Who were your go tos? And you know Terry Bradshaw was pretty Yeah, he's pretty funny.

Yeah, you know the he hit a talk show.

Yes, that's the daytime talk show or something. But you know, Terry was the best one ever. And you could not have planned this. He comes out and he goes Jay, I heard that monologue. That monologue sucked. That was the worst jokes ever. He's just trashing around me. Yeah, and I said, I said, you know, I can shut you down with forwards.

No, no you can't.

I can't.

What I said, your fly is open and his pants were wide over.

Oh my god, and he looked down and he fell off the Cherries laughing, so right, he just felt so stupid. He was.

He was a great one. I said. I had him thirty maybe fifty four times.

Yeah, and the comics are always good. You were good, Jerry was good. Robin Williams of course was good.

Yeah, Robin kind of took coover. I used to like that. You just hand them the reins.

Yeah, right right, you just let him go. You can really interact with him. But you know what my favorite two was with Rodney because when I would watch Rodney with Johnny, Johnny would beat the straight mane tough week, Rodney, Oh, ron Johnny, I tell you this week is all right, but last week it was cold, really cold out. So oh Johnny was so cold and yeah.

I know again when I would get Rodney, Oh, that was my favorite thing to uh been a tough week, go oh Jay, I'll tell you it's it's all right now.

But last week I got to tell you know.

Did I tell my Rodney story about No, I'll tell you Rodney story. I've told this story, but no to me.

I had Rodney on the show.

Okay, Rodney Dangerfield Rodney in.

Two thousand and four, and Rodney was a little older. Yeah, a little more frail. And he comes up and he's doing the show, he's doing his stand up. I knowic he's sweating more than you know. As someone who watches comics and you know them personally, you can tell when they're a little off.

You know.

I could tell what Jerry's killing, but it's it's not his normal, super hard kill. It's just a real And Rodney he would always touch his tie. This time his hands were kind of He's just a little you know, So I said to Debbie. Our producer Wie Vickaus I said, I said, I think Rodney's having a stroke. Call the cops, call that paramedics.

She goes. You think that's good. I think he is. Yeah, okay, so if.

He sits now, Jay, I will tell you, I'm all right now, Ja.

But last week, you know, and and he's got the handkerchief and he's really sweating. But he gets through it and he does fine. Okay, now the show ends. Just as the show ends, Roddy goes through his dressing room and the paramedics come in, and I say so going to say Rodney, as the paramied, I think made a stro I didn't have a stroke.

Well he did have a stroke. You saw that.

Well, he was just off. He was just off. So they took him away in an ambulance. He went to the hospital.

I didn't live much longer than that. And then his wife Joan calls me. He says, you got to come to the hospital. Rodney's in a coma.

Okay.

I get there and Roddy's lion there. His eyes are open, and she says Jay. The doctor says, Rodney can hear us, but he can't respond to us, you know. So I'm telling him how much we love him and how great he was to all his comics, you know, letting us work Rodney's Club and yeah, Rodney Dangerfields and all blah blah blah blah. So his wife John says, Rodney, she goes, Jay, put your finger in Rodney's hand. She goes, Rodney, if

And Rodney's shoulders go like this. They just move and.

He moved and the doctor comes. I mean he moved together.

And he died right after that.

But but you got to laugh yeah, we got to laugh out of Runney.

Yeah, you know, and it.

Was kind of I mean, I don't say it to be mean or to be funny. He just is a life well led you know. He and he was a wonderful guy and he was a smart guy. I you know, you never met Rodney in the middle. Well, you know the whole thing about being an aluminum siding salesman. You know, if comedy doesn't make any well he did. He was a lumin sidning salesman. But he was a great luminiu he was. He was so successful he quit show business to sell a woman and signing. Then, at age forty four,

That he was.

And that's when he really became famous. Because see, I.

Remember Rodney before he had no respect. When he used to do bits right and he would do bad. I remember one bit he had. I can't recreate it, but this is the essence of it. He goes walking the flight to sixty five Airlines. He'd be the pilot, you know. He goes, we're flying over right now over to Indiana rat a desolate park. If you look down on the left side of the plane you can see the remains of Flight four eighteen that crashed right there in the ground.

It was just like a just hilarious, just like a funny almost like a very Bob Newhart.

Yeah. Yeah, And then later he got into doing bits. Do you ever see a movie called The Projectionist? It was done I think in sixty nine. Rodney was in that place that he was good. He was good and back to school. One of the funniest Yeah to me, that that thing about in the Union.

Yeah, the guy goes, I'm going to build an imaginary factory. Oh yeah, how are you gonna pay off this guy?

And pay off that guy? You know? And just so funny.

Yeah, he was really the funniest guy. And I knew Rodney forty years. I have no idea if he's a Democrat. I have no idea if he's a Republican. All we ever talked about with jokes, he that is true with with he had the essence, he had quick jokes. One of my favorite Rodney jokes is I walked past the strip joint he said, topless and bottomless I went in.

There's nobody there.

I mean it's a great topless there's nobody there.

Yeah, that's that's a great jock.

And the other joke you had, like my doctor said he a semen sample and he still sampling your own sample, so I gave my underpants. You know, just those kinds, just those stupid kind of jokes and just just hilarious, just hilarious.

You ever intimidated by anyone that you ever? You ever have a guest and you guys actually get nervous. I had a couple, but you ever have anyone?

You think?

One day I had Roger Moore on.

So I'll tell you about Sean Connor for Roger Moore, and we'll tell you. I said, where do you go on vacation? Where you go to India? Going to India?

Quite often go to India. Yeah that's quite a trip. Oh not really, Well how often do you go? Oh well, going every weekend.

Every weekend to India.

Yes, yeah, I mean that's it's not a long flight. No, no, no, we drive really drive to India from from England.

No, no, from California.

He was trying to say, India, didn't you know, Oh, it's just like a whole wasted segment.

Yeah, you're trying to talk about India.

Sean Connor is my favorite because Seawan Connor is the only guy I have heard.

My mother referred to in a sexual way. That's a real man, Gamil.

Oh, yeah, No, the women were different.

I introduced my wife to Sean Connery and her breast let up, and I didn't even know breast could do that, that's right. Yeah, but Sean Connery probably went through life thinking that women's breast let up all the time.

That's right.

But I've never that's the only time I've seen it happen. I introduced her to and she went, oh, hello, San, nice to meet you. He's like, very nice to meet your Megan Boom. Well he didn't talk to to our bottom department, he I mean her, But it was really.

I know, well, most people don't know he was mister Universe third runner und Yeah, that's right, nineteen fifty three.

He was.

He was a long shoreman and he was a tough.

Sound very tough. You know the story about him. Johnny Stumpinato. Oh no, you get in a fight with Johnny.

Johnny Stumpinado brings a gun on at the set. I can't remember the movie. He was doing a movie with Lana Turner La tire right, Yeah, and the rumor was that Big Tam as he's known in Scotland or Sean Connery was having an affair with Lana Turner, which knowing him and knowing.

About her today, it's probably it's a pretty good even money bet.

Stomperonnado, who's our gangster boyfriend, turns up, points a gun at showing points a handgun at Sewan Cornery. He takes the gun, he smacks ahead of the gun and she got the fuck out bring a gun onto a place of water. I mean, it's like he was a tough guy. He was from a very tough part of Edinburgh and he was very kind.

Of and he's the only guy you know you always hear at jokes and knee slamper.

He's the only guy I ever saw.

Slape what's the leadst filthy jewel going about g you know. I mean, he would laugh like like he was a pirate.

And he was the only guy that ever took a shower in a tonight showed jesssing room because the justsing room is a small ones.

I remember.

Shower but nobody. He's and he would say, take.

A head on you and the news crew, news guys, news that to run down with the headphones. Who's shouting down? I said, Sean Connery, Oh yeah, but oh yeah, you know it was it was he. They took this rough thug, they put him in a savile roast suit. They taught him a little bit about wine, so he came across. He was the only really dangerous Bond I never got. Roger Moore is always a pill, very dope buy. He was kind of like the comedy bone, you know.

But him and and Daniel Craig.

Yeah, I can believe Daniel Craig, Daniel, but.

Sean Connery had the height, he had the weight, Yeah, he had.

The threat was pretty good for the nineteen eighties.

But but Sean Conny just had the physical presence. I mean, the Bond films are funny, being goes gold.

Finger the man, but a big fat guy can barely speak English, slabbering over himself. How was this guy in the song Tony but yeah, in the in the in the song women.

Oh he's cold finger, you know, oh please you know that Sean Connery.

I think it's in the movie Goldfinger.

He wears a little toweling many like it's like little shorty shorts. Yeah, the zip that goes up the front and a little thing like that. It's the most ridiculous looking outfit.

Oh yeah, And I.

Remember we were watching it, like when one of my boys was Lettle. We're watching introducing them to an know Bond movie. In my I said to Meghan, that's uh, that's a stupid looking.

At it that. She went, No, one shot Connery and then a breshlet up again. Oh yeah wow. And he wasn't even there.

Yeah he was. He was quite a guy.

He was. He was a very impressive.

I mean, he was a guy for his time. Because you watch it now and it's so incredibly sex it's shocking, but it was what it was.

Yeah, anybody, look, buddy, we're done for the recording. You and I can talk anything. Yeah, we're done. But listen, that.

Went pretty quick.

Yeah, well, you know, we do talk a law Yeah, a lot more than I talked to any other former host of The Tonight Show.

You're the one I talked to them.

Well, they and I think that you know, I had such a good time when we were doing gigs with our Senio this summer.

We should do it again.

Yeah, I love doing those.

He's a great guy too, see you guys, a great guy.

I tell you a story about our Sceno. It was so funny. I think I told you about with Barry manelog. You know, I was saying, no, tell me, Well, he was the only real threat. That was one Carson was afraid of our senior well because it was hip, Yeah it was. He was good black, it was young, it was everything Johnny wasn't, you know. And you know, like when Dana Carvey did Carcinio, he did a comedy oppression of a brilliant impression.

Johnny just hated.

Made him very nervous.

Anyway, So the first night of our Sinio show, he goes, You're not going to see Barry Manilo's ass on this show. This show is all about the funk. It's about to mute hit it, you know, in the band place game. Okay, So I remember watching that shown. Now this is the time when he and I were supposed to be fighting, right.

You understanding it?

Well, he had I'm going to kick Leno's ass and all this stuff going on.

You know, it's funny because I think of you two is being very good.

We were very good, yeah, and we still are and we were even during that. So anyway, so I'm watching him every night to make sure we don't do the same jokes, because you need to do that, you know. And I hear him say about December. Now, come on, I guess in September. And about December he goes, and next week on the show, Barry Manilow, you know, I have.

To say sorry.

The next stag call like, oh, hi.

Can I speak to you, Senor Hall, This is Jay Leonard.

Just a minute. Oh he doesn't want to speak to you. That just just he doesn't want to speak to you.

I said, no, he needs to hear what I have to say, you know.

He goes, what do you want to what do you want?

Oh?

Next week, very mantel.

And then he falls off the chair.

He's laughing. So I go, oh, he wants to see.

His ass come back, because you realize when you do these shows, you need everybody.

You gotta take the room.

Can't every night you got but and from that point now we both laughed at him.

That was you know, when the news broke that I was going to do the late night show. When I was taking it over.

I was a YouTube concert in Forum in Los Angeles, and you know, the little backstage area and some backstage there, and Chris Rock is there and he comes over and he goes, you're the guy taking over the show, and I went yeah. He goes, you gotta do that ship every fucking night, and I went yeah, and he went, no, man, every fucking night.

I went yeah. And then it kind of haunted me. It was like a movie.

See. I found every night easier because if it didn't go well, I got some I can't stop and dwell, I got.

To move out. That is the glory of it.

But the truth say is, but the time I was done, I mean, what did you do twenty five years.

Twenty two years, twenty three, Well, I mean twenty five kind of guessing.

Yeah, yeah, I had a ten years and that's yeah, that's there's a bit two more than I really was.

Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't there appointment.

You're like, no, I'm pretty good at simple, repetitive fasts.

So yeah, well.

I enjoy you know, I enjoyed it. I liked the discipline of writing jokes every day.

Great at it.

I like that you got pencils down, I gotta go. Okay, if it didn't, if the show wasn't any good.

I got another show tomorrow, and three days later you forgot about that show that wasn't very good.

Yeah, that's true.

It was interesting now that all these shows hang around and people pick apart from a show and broadcasting like, I don't even remember doing that, you know, I know, I know, it's crazy.

You know, it's different.

You know. The saddest thing about late night is everybody doing it is really good.

The trouble is, you have these streaming services. You can watch the Lord of the Wings trilogy without commercials. You can watch all three Godfather movies. You know, every talk show you watch now, because the viewing audience is smaller,

It's just it's so yeah, exactly. Yeah, No, I'm glad I got out with it. We got at the right time, winnning. Oh we did.

Yeah, nobody's making that kind of money anymore.

All Right, well, let's get the fuck out. Here's to drive a car, Yeah, anytime,