Angela Kinsey

Hello.

This is Craig Ferguson. And even though you are listening to my podcast right now, I'm currently out on the Fancy Rascal Tour.

Come and see me in.

Such beautiful places as Wichita, Kansas, Springfield, Missouri, Kansas City, Missouri, Omaha, Nebraska, Domine, Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa, and many others. For the full list of dates, please go to my website, the Craig Ferguson Show dot Com slash Tour. My name is Craig Ferguson. This podcast is called Joy. It's not Rocket Science. I talk to people I like about their pursuit of happiness. Here's Angela Kinsey, one of my bestie friends. A star

How are you pal? Yeah, you were playing tennis today. I didn't know you were.

I was nearly said teeny tiny tennis player, and then I thought that's not very nice.

I am a tiny tennis player. It's true. I'm the shortest of my tennis group. Shocker, look at me playing to the camera.

Yeah, that's right, that's cameras mm hmmm.

Oh look, there's there's your clip. Wait do you see my feet? Can you see that?

I'm I can't see your feet. I have beautiful feet, but they have a slight anomally. My big toe is not my biggest toe. My toe next to my big toe is bigger. So it was up, but then it goes down, the kind of.

There's some meaning I've read somewhere. I can't remember it.

It means I had a girlfriend once it said it means that you're intelligent, and I was like, does it really? I don't know. I think you can have foot based I Q. I think she was being nice to me.

It was just breaks out by your words.

Out it makes you more intelligent.

Can I go.

Just cover put a sock on it?

Oh no, keep your songs on. It's just a thing.

I like it.

So tennis, though, I don't why. I don't understand.

How did you get into tennis when you were growing up in Jakarta. I was going to say Jakara. I know why I remember Jakarta because of the old joke about Jakarta.

There's an old.

Stand up joke about old stand up jokes about Jamaica and Jakarta.

Get on. I'm telling you right.

So I say, I say, I say my wife's gone to the West Indies Jamaica, Jamaica or no.

She went of her own accord. That's what the old phone.

Okay.

And then I say, I say, my wife's gone to the East Indies Jakarta.

No, she went of her own ACCORDA.

Oh, it's so bad, so bad.

I think Jakarta is involved in I do remember you grew up in Jakarta anyway, Yeah, and that's where you developed your love of tennis.

Well, my mom played tennis. My mom was always playing tennis. I was just always on the court with her and there was no like iPad. So she would just be like here, go hit that ball against the wall for like an hour.

So I just hit the racketball. That's a whole different thing though.

Because this ball bounces.

Okay, this racketball. Did you play racketball too?

Not?

If I have to? Okay, why am I throwing so much shade record?

It's like you he racket ball.

It's a wonderful spot.

That's the that's the clickbait from this. Yes, really the racketball.

None of the other stuff, just that. No, So it was you know Indonesia, we had no television, We were outside all the time.

Why were you in Indonesia? Why were your parents in Indonesia? These spies?

But that's out there now, Okay. No, my dad was a drilling engineer.

That's right. It was oil oil.

Well, because you're kind of not your accent isn't Indonesia. I don't know what an Indonesian accent sounds like, but it doesn't. I don't think it's a good idea that I attempt to.

I don't don't think you should.

I'm not going to.

I wouldn't advise it. But when I speak Indonesian, I.

Think when you speak Indonesian, think so.

My sisters do my sisters like if they like if I said sakatang sayaba dada deanan Craig right now I'm talking to you.

Yeah, that's so cool.

My sister would be like, sakarangjara dingan Craig, that's great. That love to mile. I don't want I don't want anything.

Well, how come that? What wage were you when you came back from fourteen?

I moved there when I was two.

Oh wow, so you must like identify really as Indonesian. Really, quite a lot.

It's my whole childhood. So and I also didn't know any pop culture, like when we came to the States.

That's such a gift.

I didn't know any like references.

A fourteen, fourteen year old.

It made me a weird I was I was an outcast. I was weird out.

Was it traumatic because that's like junior high that's the worst time to move.

Oh my god, it was horrible. It was horrible. First, Why you were in comedy, Yes, because that's it's just survival totally. You know, like maybe if I make them laugh, they won't put me in a locker because I fit into a locker.

No, see, so what you're doing, you know what you're doing. You made it funny about being little, and then so they wouldn't put you in a locker.

I might put you in a locker just because you said that.

I did get in a locker.

Did you really?

I can fit. You don't need to put me in here now?

Oh no, that makes me feel bad.

Oh I was fine.

Well, yeah, you're all right.

I am actually be quite popular because you're funny and beautiful and that goes a long way in junior high school.

Oh, pretty much.

Everywhere. Really doesn't it?

Well, it doesn't hurt. That's nice of you to say. I've never felt like I was the prettiest girl in the room for sure.

Definitely not definitely the prettiest girl in this room. I really only that doesn't matter, That doesn't matter. I mean, look, also, you're very pretty, You're very pretty woman. Why why would you say that about yourself?

No, I don't.

I think you don't think like I don't think about it like that. I think I think I do just fine.

Yeah you do.

I think I do just fine. But I definitely Sometimes you meet someone, though, and you're like, oh damn, it's a different Like Angelina Jolie walked behind me at an awards show one time, and I was like, all right, I get it, I get it.

You know.

I once had to make a space for Jennifer Lopez to get past me at an awards ceremony, Like I was sitting in a seat and she passed by. She was married to Mark marc Antony. She was married to Mark Antony at the time, and not the Roman.

I know you said Anthony, what was Anthony?

Was that a difference Mark Anthony macar Anthony? I think so okay, it's a pronouncing. I'm not originally from Indonesia, so I don't my accent might be different.

But anyway, I was at this award something.

I was in my seat and you know that it was the old the Shrine auditorium, so it's like the old timey cinema seat. Yeah. Yeah, And I had to stand up, you know that kind of half stand up you do in the seat folds opposite, So I had to half stand up. And then Mark Anthony or Anthony came by first, and he's quite a little guy.

And just kind of got through quite nicely.

And then she can buy and she passed by right from my eyes.

But yeah, no, I have played tennis.

How'd you do?

No?

I always tried it once.

I didn't care for him.

You're very tall?

Is that bad for tennis?

No, it's great. I mean you would cover the net.

So. Well, there's a Scottish guy i've heard of who's good at tennis.

Who's that Andy Murray?

His nameless Is he Scottish?

Yeah, he's from Dunmblin.

I stayed at his place at the krum Lix. What's the krumls Oh my gosh, it's beautiful what is that?

Is that a place in Scotland?

Well? Yeah, And so we stayed there and there was a couple of older couple. I liked the vacation where everyone is like sixty and up those are mind.

You know, wherever I go there's an over sixty there because I'm now over sixty?

Are you really sixty?

Okay? You're dipping your toe in fifties? Sixties and in fifty I don't know.

Sixty is the sixty and sixties? Always fucking ben? Yeah?

Well I was vacationing with a bunch of people from the UK who were in their sixties.

Yeah, that's a different type of sixty, that's like.

And this woman next to us was like, you know, Andy, Mary owns all of this. And I was like, oh really what Scotland?

All right okay?

And I said, well, it's a lovely castle and she went it's not a castle. I mean, it's a great house.

What was the difference? A castle was a military installation?

I guess, I said, Oh, I guess also the size.

Well you stayed at my place. My place is a castle.

Are we talking about it?

Sure? What we can talk about it, just don't give out the address. Giant castle was near the moat Scotland. I mean, this could be fucking anywhere.

Get on her road. And then right when you think you were lost, that's where your place.

And that castle that Shoon Connery lives in and all the movies that he's in when they get to show that's my that's your castle.

Your place is gorgeous, you guys, here's the thing place.

It's a castle.

Right.

My family and I went and we stayed with you guys, and you were so gracious, and I here's the thing. We had never taken the kids to Europe before, and they all wanted to take a big suitcase.

You guys traveled like I mean, it was like.

So I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. There were books we have. We each had a big suitcase and then a little suitcase. And then right as we get there, you say, great, you're on the ninety third floor something ninety steps. It was ninety three steps. Ninety three steps we counted and I was like what and you're like, yeah, I.

Feel like I helped you carry the bags today.

I felt so bad.

Yeah, and I had COVID then too. I never told you shut up.

But you know what we know who did know.

A lot of people got COVID, but we had that party.

Party was a little bit of a super spread of a.

Super spreader event. We thought there was going to be no COVID and then there was quite a bit of it.

You took so many precautions. And then my favorite thing was after the first night, the first night, the next morning breakfast, were walking out and I just see this one person who we both know, and they're like a field away waving at me, and I was like, where are.

We going and they're like, well, yeah, we're laving. We just tested positive for COVID and they and they laughed, and we were all stuck there, like, well, I guess we'll have the anyway.

And then you're like, you said to me, don't tell him.

For legal reasons, that's not true.

But I did, and I was like okay, And you were like did he hug you?

And I was like yes, and.

It was like yeah, You're like did he breathe on you or calls on you? And I was like he laughed really hard in my face.

Oh Jesus, But I didn't never heard from him since, not a stop, not.

A fucking peep.

Maybe he died. He did not, Oh, you have him all right. I called you, made sure you were all right, and called me. I didn't get COVID at that part either, then did We didn't get it from him? A lot of people, like six people. You know, my doctor sitting there, a doctor.

Your doctor, your doctor's wife.

Yeah, beautiful people, beautiful people both over sixty.

Yes, honestybe maybe a fair walked along your river. Do you know he has a river, you guys, it's not the whole river, just a couple, just a couple of miles, just as far as you can see.

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, But anyway, I live a block from the freeway.

Oh yeah, but but you're doing fine.

And like the thing is house a block from the freeway where you live a bit the same as a castle in a river?

Oh my god. The whole time I was there, he was trying to unload his other castle on me.

Yeah, don't tell everyone. I'll get to castles. People can't relate.

Lean over to me at dinner. Really seriously serious, you can buy it.

You make me sound like a dick. Maybe I have a dick. I don't know. But here's the thing. My doctor and his wife with that.

I won't say the name because of the you know, hippocratic ghoth, but the it's a reach around hippocratic growth. I don't I don't want to go there, nobody anyway. Look, what I'm saying is that.

It's not a phrase you choose reach around. I'm going to go grocery shop and I just got to reach around the paper towels. It's a reach around. Excuse me, ma'am, can you step aside? I need to reach around?

No, I didn't mean it like that. I mean what I'm saying. It's a reverse That's what I mean. It's a reverse YCWTH. Anyway, so they're there reverse reach around and they which is just guess. I guess a reverse reach around would just be a reach because then you're not anyway. Look here's the thing he found out and well, I said to them, Look, some of these tested positive for COVID. I've never seen two old people move that fast in my fucking life. They were like, boom out the door.

I was like, where'd you go? And I was like wow.

It was almost like it was like the you know, the Harry Porter thing where he just like disappeared up the fireplace.

It was like, wow, they were gone.

I know. There was a thinning out the next night. There was some empty seats.

Yeah, there was some empty sees because the COVID had made its presence known. And I never got it. Megan got it, my kids both got it, and I didn't get I didn't get it to a month later.

We never got it.

No, you never got to ever.

Never. Well, we got the og COVID.

Right, Okay, when you can get it from like not cleaning your groceries or having enough, yeah, yeah, that was it.

I didn't wipe down my grocery bag.

Yeah, let's how you get it.

What I was going to say was I didn't get COVID at the party last summer when you were at my house. Yeah, but a month later I went to Dublin to celebrity name that tune. You know. It's a fucking kind of showbiz life. I live right right right, it's.

Just side hustle right well, side scratched.

Right, and I go, I go irish COVID. COVID. It's fucking like it's.

The worst, and it gets right in there and you get sweaty and your lucky charms fall off it's fucking It was awful. And you never go to a talk, will you. I got og, yeah, but you didn't get long.

I had no symptoms. I didn't run fever. I was a little tired, but whatever, you know, I have three kids. I just figured it tired. And then I was cutting a lemon and I couldn't smell it. Oh, and the kids and my husband had COVID. We were isolating and doing the whole thing. And I was making dinner and I cut this womon in half and I couldn't smell it. Then I licked it and I couldn't taste it, and I just yelled to them, all come out.

Everybody's got it.

Yeah I don't.

I mean we tried isolating then that you see my house this place as you can isolate your house. Yeah, And everybody got it sent me and I had to make sandwiches and stuff. It was a nightmare.

You made sandwiches, yeah, I know.

Everybody says that, like you didn't. It's not dead.

I make sandwiches and tea and shit.

My favorite. One of my favorite things of being at your castle was I couldn't find like where my kids were because we were in this one part of the tower, and then the tower you walk down steps and then they're little like different floors shoot off the tower.

Yeah, it's a castle.

It's a castle. Yeah, oh my god, you know what, Just relax, relax. It's the castle.

So it's it's got a spiral staircase.

With rooms, I know, and like people were tortured in the fourteen hundred or something. But anyway, so I'm like, it's like seven in the morning, and I told my daughter I would check in on her when I woke up. So I'm going I'm in pajamas, my hair is like you know whatever, I'm going down into when my slippers and I get to this one floor and I turn and I see a shadowy figure step out in his pajamas and it's you. Yes.

Oh.

And we looked at each other and you had like BedHead, that's right, and I was like and I and we just went like this and then I and I said kids, and you pointed that way, that's right, And then I found them.

Yeah, they were.

They were all kind of all the kids kind of gravitated to one room. I think for ghost reasons. It was like they thought if they were all in the one room, that the ghosts couldn't get them, which is likely because I don't think there are any ghosts in that castle. Those ghosts in the other castle, it's so fucking haunted you can't even be in it.

But this one is fine.

This one's totally fine.

You know it's fine. Now, did you go for a walk down by the river and stuff? Did you play tennis on the tennis court?

I never found the tennis court tennis court, I think, now, yeah, how can you keep it dry? It just rains all the time.

It rains in Scotland all the time, hence the castle feasible priced castle.

It's like it's fucking underwater most of the time.

We walked all over. It was so beautiful and so much fun.

You had a whole vacation in Scotland. Then last summer you were.

Yeah, we went to London first and then we went to Scotland. I just love Scotland. I mean I could hang my hat there for sure.

I could sell you a castle.

Please tell me you've sold it.

Actually, what happened there was a huge storm and it got damaged and we got into this huge insurance claim for it. It's an awful mess. So I'm having a great time with it. I remember I used to you know, Pierce Brosnan, if you ever run a Pierce Brosnan in your show business life.

I mean one time I was at a Golden Globes after party, the HBO after party, and I was dancing my ass off with a few friends. It was like it was I don't know, early seasons of the office, where every time he got invited to a party, you were like, you got and there was free food and free drinks, and we were so excited. And he was sort of standing on the edge of the dance floor and sort of started to dance a little bit in the corner, and my friend was like, holy shit, pur dancing behind you.

Oh my god, your friend doesn't vent. Trilloq was dumby. Oh my god.

She started to be very cool, and then I just was like wow, And you know, did you dance with him? I danced near him.

Okay, that's that currents Anyway, the reason why I brought him up I used to live near him and the in Malibu. I used to see him on the beach and every day I saw him, he'd be complaining about because I like Peerce and I've known him for a while, and every day I saw him would say, fucking house, fucking malabum, it's falling out of the water. Yet he got into a huge problem with apparently there's a big wobbly bit of water there called the ocean, and they can really fuck up your house.

Yeah, and he got he got.

That I had a house like hanging over it or something.

He is the best party though. You should make friends with him. Him and his wife Gilly had the best parties. I met Barbara streisand at their.

House stop it, I did, Yeah, did you make small talk with her?

Yeah?

What do you say?

I was like, what I said was you were great and what's up? Doc?

No, you did not?

I did? It was wrong with that? Really? Yeah said you were great and what's up?

Doc?

Would she say?

She said that was? That was a little time ago.

I went, well, it's the first movie I saw and I fell in love with her.

Well, actually it wasn't the first movie. I didn't want to hurt feelings. The first movie I saw was Sound of Music. Julie Andrews was also there.

Did you talk to her?

Yeah?

I actually did you say? Did you use the same line?

Yeah?

Do you think they talked to each other.

Yes, they hate you. Are you invited anymore?

You know, I haven't seen it either one of them for a while, as you bring it up, But I don't think so. I think that Julie Andrews knew that it was the first movie I ever saw the music, and Barbara Streisen didn't care, right, so it was all right. But Barbara, they were both lovely.

I can't, I can't.

I give it frightened Barbara Streis, Yeah.

I would be too scared. I really like shut down in like parties like that. I can't.

Why you're a big star, you get the biggest podcast in.

The world, so funny, but I can't. I really can't. I'll just like go hang out in the kitchen like with like you know, I mean, you.

Don't have to do that. Like people are like.

Guys, no, no, no, no, they don't they don't. And I'm okay with it. I'm totally okay with it. But I I just am like, my my resting self is just really dorky, and then in those moments, I just the dorkiness heightens.

This is an official in invitation to the Fancy Rascal stand up Show. I Craig Ferguson will be performing this summer and fall in your region. You can buy tickets and check out the full list of dates at the Craig Ferguson Show dot Com slash tour.

See you there or not.

When the Office was done, right, you guys were done running at the same time I was done in late night, I think when you are maybe.

A little before no, I think you're right that time.

Did you find the adjustment period difficult after coming off a big hit show like that?

I did a pilot immediately right away with Roberygull played his wife for Fox. So I went right from the Office right to this pilot. That was a really crazy experience because the way I got the Office was I auditioned. I auditioned for the role of Pam Okay, but they said I was too feisty.

I think that's a fair note.

Actually, there's a moment where Michael fake fires Pam in front of Ryan the tempt to impress him, and Pam kind of starts to cry and she calls him a jerk. And then I was in front of all the producers, big room full of people, and when it got to that moment, I think I just became very southern and I went jerk like that and they all started to laugh, and I remember thinking, I think they're supposed to be

There was a lot of executives, a lot of executive love of them.

Yeah, and they all.

These people last six fucking months and then they go, yeah, that's why I'm never nice to them. Though. It doesn't matter, It.

Doesn't matter, do you have to do what my mom says, be politely bored?

I fucking nailed it.

I have a hard time because there I think see amongst people in show business, like actors and writers and directions stuff, I don't encounter much phoniness at all. I don't think people are really phonny.

But executives, Oh, yeah, there's the worst. You know.

Well, we do a podcast, Oh we just want to film it. Wait a minute, that's a TV show. Yeah, you gotta be careful with those asking.

You have three cameras.

What I thought they were like fancy microphones.

I don't know, I know.

But so you did the pilot. But did the pilot get picked up?

No? It didn't that freak you out?

Did you think?

Oh? Oh?

I really didn't at the time. But then I did another pilot and it didn't go.

Okay, that PMS with pilots, Yeah.

Yeah, And then I did a TV show and I filmed in Vancouver and I had the best time.

Oh, remind me of what that show was, because I remember it was called Haters.

Back Off and I had to dye my hair like I had dark dark dark hair and round hair.

And I saw you that time, and you were filming. You were flying up and down and you hated it, and I hated.

Having to go back and forth, back and forth. I loved the job and I love the people. But then that went two years and didn't go and then all of a sudden, I was like, well, shit, now I'm hustling. I'm hustling. I'm doing like, yeah, you know, a movie in Atlanta, and then I'm going to Orlando. Then I'm going to New Orleans.

And I was just taking did just call that career though? I mean, that's not it's not nothing to panic.

About it, right, right, But it wasn't consistent and we had had that for a long time.

Yeah, I know that you get used to it.

Then I sort of really started to do the hustle, and then that's when Jenna and I started the podcast.

Then the podcast, I think is very interesting because the podcast that you do is a podcast where you take an episode of the Office and rewatch it.

And talk about what it was like to make it.

Is that right?

Is that fair?

Yeah, it's a it's a rewatch podcast. We started at the very beginning. We're going in order each week and we reach out to the cast and the writers and the directors and then the crew members and people call in or you know, it's so easy now you can zoom in or you can just send in an udio clip and like tell the story. And people have been super supportive and it's been really great. And then I think the fans of the show were there to hear

Very funny. Both of you are very funny, very clever woman, so entertaining. Don you got you guys are really besty friends as well.

Yeah, we're really besty friends. Which is great too because we can in the moment, I can say like, oh, you're going to want to retell that.

Oh that we have that ability to be like, oh, you know why I do a podcast on my own?

Yeah, I don't you.

Do too too many bridges?

You do too? Barbara streistand she loves you, She loves you. That's your podcast, Craig and.

Barbara, Craig and Barbara. I think, you know what, to be fair, I think it might be Barbara and Craig. Maybe maybe she's got a career behind. I feel maybe it's just Barb though. That's her podcast personality. Barb or Barb Craig, just Barb and who who's on the show today?

Barbie? I get to say.

That, Oh yeah, your side couch.

Yeah, I'm Ed McMahon or Jeff Peterson.

You did I did your robot one time.

When Josh was on the Robot who was the robots?

Yeah, inside Juice, he was touring he you know what he was doing, what.

He was doing an ad campaign in Britain.

What for he got this ad campaign for this like big giant things. My friend Josh and he he got this big ad campaign where he was doing the voice of Morgan Freeman because he can do an amazing Morgan Freeman voice.

So when they can't get Morgan Freeman, they hire your friend. Yeah, shut the front door.

It's show business.

I want a gig like that.

Well, who can you sound like? Can you do Morgan Freeman? No, I don't do that.

When that's taken. What about Barbara Schuisen? Can you do Barbara Schreisen?

No, but I think I can do Martha Stewart.

Let's hear it.

Okay. One time I went to a food expo and Martha was there, Right.

This is not you're doing it yet. No, okay, yes, correct, this is maybe Artha. I just didn't know how good it was.

I was that food expo. She's Southern, so she was showing off her instapot. She had an insta pot.

Is that to do with like Snoop Dogg and the like their friendship?

No? No, it's a pot you put things in and you cook it instantly. Yeah.

No, get high.

That's a whole other show they're doing. I'm sure, so okay. So she had her instapot and she was going to give a display of it, and she also had these puffer sweater vests. Okay, so it's like, imagine a puffy vest, but then imagine you put sleeves on it, so it's like a T shirt but it zips up, but it's a puffer vest. I don't even know what's happening with it, but everyone, her whole staff was wearing them.

I love the sound of this, okay.

And she said so, and she took questions from the audience, right, and so this woman was like, Martha, I just need a really simple dish. My family is coming for Thanksgiving and I just need a simple maybe an appetizer. And I have a very small apartment. And Martha was like, well, you know, I love I absolutely love gruyere, So if you could get some greye and oh, I feed my chickens blueberries, and because I love this certain color of blue, and when they eat the blueberries, their eggs are blue.

Wow, this is terrifying. First of all, if that's really what she said, that's terrifying.

Huh.

And also what's terrifying is how close that that was, Like Martha Stewart was in the room, and she also says things.

She also says things like this, you are very humorous. Did you find you humorous?

Yeah?

That she is one of those I think these people that you know that you're very funny. Like that's the thing with executives, like in Hollywood, they'll say you are hilarious, hilarious, I loved you, or your show is hilarious and you're hilarious, and you have.

A hilarious accent. Are you from outside of the country? You should work that.

Did you get a lot when you first came here to get work? Did you get a lot of Southern jobs? Was it a lottle like Larry the Cable Guy's wife and stuff?

I mean yes, yeah, I mean I did a voiceover on King of the Hill where they go to the super the megalomart and one of my lines was, wait, don't sail super squarters anymore on account of they're dangerous. And then I was also a dispatch lady in the police office. It was like all units, Code nine, all units.

That's very good. It's like you picked up that Southern stuff very quick.

I auditioned for this pilot. I wanted it so badly one year and it was set in a small town in Texas. That was like, I got this and it's like the no nonsense like Judge in the small town. I'm like, yes, this is me. And so I went in and I played it exactly like one of the people I know in my small town from home. And the writer loved it, and the network because I went all the way to the network read they said, she's making fun of Texas and that's going to make people uncomfortable.

I have that story as well.

When I first go at the town, the movie Braveheart had just come.

Out and they were an audition for Braveheart.

I did didn't get it enough.

I auditioned for Brave Heart.

Everybody in Scotland edition for Brave I didn't get it, and I've kind of forceded the resentment about that ever since.

But I'm going to let that go.

I think you should hold on to it.

I'll keep going.

But when I got here, I had come out and you know what the worst thing was lots of people who got it.

You're like, guys, it's fucking hopeless.

Yeah, and he's not Scotted.

And he's not Scottish. Well, the guy who got my job wasn't Scottish. The job that I was down to the last two and the guy who got the job was Irish, and to be fair, he was playing Irish. So is all right?

I see the guy that was like, that's my island.

Yeah, that was the job.

And I was right there and I met mel Gibson a couple of times and everything. I didn't get it. It's like I was crushed because I could really use that job at the time. Now I don't know, but then I was like, I could really have done right right. Actually now I would still love that job. I don't know why I'm trying to say that wouldn't I would. That's not the story. The story is this. The story is I got to LA because I was so angry at not getting the job. Brave heart, and I'm going

Did you do it?

I auditioned for it.

Yeah, and the executive said, we just don't fail your accent.

It is authentic. I'm like, I'm doing a fucking Scottish press. You've ever met your fucking life now. If he had heard me say that, he would have said, oh, yeah, maybe that is authentic.

But I didn't get the job. I wasn't Scottish enough.

So you auditioned twice for Braveheart.

Both times didn't get it.

Well, I think you're okay to hold on to that.

Yeah, I'm seething.

Yeah, when I think of it, maybe if I do the Netflix reboot, because it must be a bit ready for.

A musical, yeah or something.

Yes, But anyway, I didn't get Brave Heart twice, is what I'm saying.

I don't know why I brought that up.

I brought it out because I seethed with resentment about it.

Oh and we were also talking about You asked me if i'd ever done a role where I got to use my accent.

Yeah, yeah, well, but in the office you kind of used your accent. I did not a little bit. You could hear it a little bit, I.

Know, well, like three o'clock in the afternoon, you can always hear it. I'd get a little tired, and like after lunch one time, I had to say, you send us all these filthy emails. And I can't say a vowel with it like an eye before an L, or like any vowel in front of an L. I'm just screwed. So I and I was also tired, and I wasn't focusing, and so I said, you send us all these failthy emails. And John Krasinski was like, hello, Texas has a rive. And I also had to say a hand tilled field.

Oh nice. Yeah, well, I think it's interesting.

It seems to me, and maybe I'm wrong, but it seems to me that the cost of the office.

Got along, we really did. Yeah, I knew that you remained friends we have a group text. We still text amazing. Yeah, you don't have realized.

I think we're really fortunate. I think also the show, I mean, Steve Crill set the tone. He was no ego and so he's a very nice, nice, nice person, and he was so up for like whoever could sell the joke the best, Like it didn't have to be number one on the call sheet to sell the joke. Like if we had a line that wasn't working and then Philis said it and it killed the room, Phyllis should say it. And it was a real collaborative like creative effort that way, right.

So that's really that also is very rare. Yeah, did you ever have any interaction with Ricky Jervase.

Yes, So he came to set and he was there one day at lunch and I was going through the lunch line and the ad came out to me, assistant director and said, Angela, you're talking head is first up after lunch, And I said, oh okay. And one of our producers were like, oh, Ricky's going to be here for that. You can watch that, and I was like, oh great, And then Ricky looked at me and said, don't worry. I don't tisk too loudly.

He is a very interesting guy, Ricky Jervase, I think because he's nothing like people think he is. Yeah, yeah, he's very he's shy.

Yeah, he was very nice.

And are you shy? Very nice? You know what he reminds me of. Did you ever meet Don Rickles?

No, but I would have loved Don was on my shoe Yeah, yeah, he was great on your show. He was great on talk shows.

Yeah he was. He was fantastic.

But he was nothing like that, you know, he was nothing like this kind of a sair. Yeah. He was very, very shy and quiet and kind of afraid of his wife.

And Ricky's kind.

Of the same.

My favorite thing is when Ricky post photos of Jane like alone, and he'll say Jane and her friends like she's like alone alone in a field somewhere. She's very nice too. We showed the same birthday.

Really, is you her? And Hitler?

No? No?

And Ricky? Oh you?

And Ricky?

Right?

What's your birthday?

June? That's not Hiller's birthday. It's not He was April sometime. I think April twenty seventh. I think same as my sister.

Is he really?

I mean was he well personality, Yeah, a little bit. No, no, no completely.

I met some of your family at my at my house at the COVID party.

Yeah.

I don't call it the cool although it was. I guess I like a third of the.

People got no.

Yeah, I know who it was. I mean, we know, we know it was. We know America right from America.

Yeah, but it was bad because there were some old Scottish people there who got them. They made it, they all made it. They were they got American going like it's nothing like that Scottish COVID.

American COVID is easiast like decaff. It was all right.

So after you left my house in Scotland, Yeah, then you went to Andy Murray's house.

No, okay, Murray's another time, another time, another time you were in Scotland.

You didn't tell me, you said it and mur.

I went to Scotland for my honeymoon and I came and I before I went on my honeymoon, I asked you. I said, I'm going to Scotland. You said when I said March, and you said, oh, it's a horrible time to go to Scotland.

You go.

Actually it doesn't matter.

No, I live there and it's lovely. But it does rain.

No, no, no, you just meant yeah it was going to rain all the time, all the time. It's rain and but we had the best time. Yeah, we didn't care. But we went after your house. We went, oh god, this is like we did the classic American thing where the only place is kind.

Of like the Griswolds. When you turned up, I got to say it. I know, I know that you had check pants out and everything. It's nebulous.

Well you somebody did. It may have been me, I don't know. Somebody was wearing take pat.

We we left your house. We loaded up in this giant, biggest car we could find in Scotland to fit our whole family. We had this driver, Gary, who was so great. I loved him. And we get in and we found the only place I think you can find that has an indoor swimming pool with a slide.

Yeah. I didn't know they had one of those.

Yeah, because our kids really they were like can we swim? We're like in Scotland.

Yeah.

My husband's like, good lord, but he found a place. They loved it. They loved it.

That's good.

What was the place do you remember?

Cambridge House?

Okay, that's ed.

I want to go because I see their indoor swimming pool.

Yeah, so you can do the indoor pool, you can do the slide. The kids got me up on the slide. Those were a little bit embarrassing, and they were like, Mom, go on your knees. We're going on our knees. It's really fun. It's like a corkscrew slide.

Right.

They're like, but go on your knees. Because I went on my butt. That was already embarrassing because your feet fly up at the end, and the end it ends near the hot tub, so everyone in the hot tubs, just the mysteries.

Zone, those sophisticated, sophistic of Long Island general types from Scotland to the home.

Exactly. So the kids were go down on your knees. I was like, all right, fine, So I went on my knees and when I did, I got the whistle. I got the whistle, and they shamed you. The shame lifeguard like and this isn't enclosed, it's not a big space. She whistles and she goes, sorry, you can't do your knees. And I was like, and I turned to my kids and they're like we've done it like three times.

Yeah, but the difference is, of course your kids are children.

Oh yeah, and I'm fifty year old woman.

And so you should know.

Bear. Let me ask you about your driver without mentioning any names.

Oh I loved him.

No, I know. I'm just saying whenever I've had a driver in Scotland, if you have for something like that, or American friends who found a driver in Scotland, they always get kind of a tour, like the driver'll see this is where Bonny Prince gently found his hat after the Battle of Nuke and all.

Did you get all that?

No, we didn't. He was so great, Anna, he.

So died great. Didn't tell you any of the stuff. No, he was great.

Because we've had that guy, you know, that guy like please, I love you?

But were you shut up for he's just making it up anyway.

I know he's just And the Americans are like, oh.

I did not believe that. Would you like some gum? Would you like?

I love your English?

Do you like a place where we could go on a slide?

Do you have a Do you have an indoor slide where I can go on my knees? I really feel the needs a shop of Vagina.

I did though. I came down that slide so fast. It was way faster than I thought I was going to go, and things got twisted.

Oh I'm so sorry. And also that you were shamed by a Scottish lifeguard, because yeah, all Scottish civic order is based on shame.

Oh yeah, yeah it's oh yea. I look at you and down there in your knees. That's awful, bad a bad pass. And I could hear your accent sometimes when you have in the office there, I said.

Shame based I like it.

I can't do I can't do a Scottish accent. I mean I I mean, I really one or two words here or there, and then then it veers off really badly.

I think you have a musical ear and you could pick it up. See if you can. You can speak Indonesian. Do you ever think you know what I'm going to take the family. I'm just going to live in Indonesia.

Scotland. Yes, you would do that, Scotland. I would live in Scotland.

I would I heard, all right?

All right? With all of its leaky problems, No, no, not anymore, They'll be fixed.

I mean, the ghosts are still there. The leaks are done.

You had people partying in that castle that was the party house.

It was this overspilled castle. Yeah, yeah, it was bad.

We didn't go over there.

I didn't get it. Well.

We had an extra place where they went to because there were some of the people liked to get twisted on drugs and alcohol, which is fine, but I don't do that, and I didn't like it in the house. And we had kids in the house and stuff, and so if you want to be up late, you're in the family house.

Can I tell you one story. One morning I went down and next to where you guys were so nice, you had breakfast set up. There was a little room where there was a coffee and tea area. Yeah, the wee kitchen, Yeah, the wee kitchen. And there was a lady in there sort of setting up to me. Her name again Charlie, Yeah Sureley Okay. I said to my husband Josh, who was horrible with names, I said, he was in there getting coffee, and I said, what's the

That's what I said, And I.

Said, are you sure he goes? I don't know. I don't know, and I said, oh my god. So I went in there and I said good morning, Charlatte. She looked at me like I was crazy crazy. And then she had said some tea bags and I said, what's your darkest tea bag? And then she looked at me like what And then I said, can I have two? And I had a little tiny cup and I put two tea bags in there and she said, I mean I can't do the accident all.

No.

She was like, if I drank God, i'd have the Jennis.

I understood it. I understood what you did. If I took that, I'd have.

Said it so fast and together. And I was like try. And we'd had a little bit of wine the night before you did. There was dancing. There was Scottish dancing. It was so fun.

Yeah, it's Scotland. Yeah, gotta have the dance. Yeah.

Yeah. So I always thought really bad because I was like, I just called that lady, tyl.

Are you coming back to Scotland this year for another vacation?

Because if you do, have got a surprise.

I would love to. Why don't you because we've planned a tropical vacation.

Well that the kids voted, So where are you going to go there? If you're going to go to the tropics, are you gonna like the Marshall Islands?

I think we're going to go to French Polynesia.

Now, what's the difference between French Polynesia and regular Polynesia? All right? So I don't know either. I think French Polynesia.

They am I saying it wrong?

No, no thing. So I don't know.

I'm no expert.

I mean we might both be saying it wrong, in which case you're in trouble.

Ask me again, where are you going on vacation? Well, the kids want to go somewhere tropical.

Right, are you going to French Polynesia?

Why not? Is there a slide? Can I fly off and show my business to everyone?

No, you don't want to do that there.

Well, I get the whistle.

You'll get the whistle if you could play the whistle.

The French Polynesian culture, I don't think they have that shame based system.

I don't know. I don't know what it's like over there.

Where is it?

What's the name of the name of big town over there?

Okay, so you have Tahiti.

Oh, that's where all the Australians go.

Oh well, that'll be real fun. Go down slot.

Do you know what happens when Australians go down slides? You have other little baby Australians and their tummies. What Yeah, they're marsupials, all Australians.

That's what they don't tell you. All Australians have little baby Australians.

How does it go when you tour there?

Would I when I talk about that? I don't.

I never brought it up when I was there because I think they might be wore a little embarrassed about it. But they all have They're like Russian dolls. There's an Australian and then there's another Australian and it goes all the way down and the smallest baby Australian is called Joey. That's true. That's baby kangaroos.

Joey Kangaroo.

Kangaroo is called Joey.

I know this, And that was why Joey was named Joey and Friends, because the character originally was going to be Australian.

Stop it. How do you know this great TV focalore?

I made it up, but it does sound good.

Why did I believe that? Because it probably would have gone and told someone that.

Well, well, go ahead, I mean it might be true. Chandler was originally going to be called Chandler because he was a dealer in supplies and equipment for ships and ships and you.

Know, funny thing. Monica was going to be called Monica because she's.

A pirate because she had one eye eye Mona Cole Monica, get it, Monica? And what was the other one called Rachebe Phoebe and Rachel. Yeah, did you have the Rachel hair when you were at that age?

I did not, but you.

Have great hair. Had the Rachel had Rachel Kenna did. Actually, there's a no photograph of me in the Drag Carry Show. I'm like, wow, I've got the Rachel and it was running at the same time.

You did have floppy hair for a bit.

I did for a little bit. I had the Rachel. I mean it was the same time.

I remember seeing you on the Drew Carey show, well before I met you, and I was like, that just looked like a lot of fun.

It was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. But people used to call us, you know, they said that they wouldn't be able to say this now, but they said we were the ugly friends.

No, they did it.

That's what they said about us.

Ah, And I was like, well, I don't know about everybody else, but I'm not loving with us. I'm gorgeous and some of those friends are creaking, you know, But that's what it is. You go have self esteem.

Well, I had my rolodex is going with things I want to say, but I'm not saying.

I know, what do you think now?

Because comedy has changed quite about there's quite a lot there's new rules really about comedy now, which I'm okay with for the most part. But I wonder, like the Drew Carey Show, I think that would have to be well rewritten. I don't know, I can't I can't think, but I think there's probably be a lot of jokes wouldn't be allowed.

Well, I certainly think that most of entertainment is a time stamp of when it was made, you know, and we should we should look back with reflection. It should you know, bump us here or there, because hopefully we're all evolving and the way we relate to one another's evolving.

Or even if it's not. Fashions change.

Yeah, So sometimes when you see people wearing you know, stonewashed denim. Nobody wears that anymore. You shouldn't really do that, but some people just won't let it go.

No, some people want to hold on.

Yeah, but I don't. I don't think you should. I'm quite happy with with comedy moving on without me.

No, No, it's fine.

No, you had great bits. Look at all the bets you had today.

You had all the bets we had to cut.

You really were your bets.

Actually, when I think about it, like you've had to cut out all of your bets.

You had some bits.

Yeah, well but wait, you turned really fast. It's easy to see how you've been successful in Hollywood. You were like, first of all, you had great bets, and then I said, well you had you had some bad bets, and then you had your bets are the worst, like you were Boom one eight Netflix.

I think recording this, what's the whole.

Point, you know what?

I was the direct in a film and my mom came to it and there was like it was a big set update and there was tons of stuff.

And she went, oh, this is just very impressive. If you should take some photographs.

I went, the whole fucking reason anyone's here is to take photographs for filming it. She meant no, but you know, photographs. I was like, yeah, all right, we'll take some photographs. But we never did. And you know what, that movie was a failure because there weren't enough photographs.

And did you ever directed the film or did you direct the office at all?

No?

No, no, I didn't. I didn't.

I don't know.

I didn't want to take that on.

I think you'd be great at that.

I like to write, so that's the stuff that's like what I like to do. I've sold five shows. They haven't gone, but I always love to write about.

At ten in one ratio anyway, so you have to do another five five before it.

Now, someday I'm going to write something for us, or we're going to do something that would make me so happy.

I would love to do that.

I think it should be a romantic comedy, okay, okay, And it's set in a castle in Scottland, maybe where you're American and I'm not.

And you're a local hire.

Well I could be maybe like the cleaning person, and you could think I'm older than I am, but I'm not as old as that. I just look old because you're Scottish. Scottish and I'm tired. And then you find out, you know, I'm young enough for you to consider dating. Yeah, that would be it.

And I'm a chandler. You've come there for business.

You've come there to sell goods and services to boats and ships. Yeah, and I've got one eye and.

You got one eye that sells it. Oh my god. I feel like we were on episode twelve already.

I can't wait for like the television critic to be like, what was your choice having him have one eye? What was that? What was your motivation?

Yeah?

I don't think anyone asks these questions anymore. I don't think there are show business journalists anymore. It's either you suck or I stand for this.

That's it.

Like or dislike.

Yeah, it's you know, ones or zeros. It's all the algorithm. You either you know, you either owe for it, you're all against it. That's it. There's no see And most of my life I've That's where I've lived, the sweet spot between I hate them and I love it. Man, it doesn't it doesn't bother me that much. And now May is gone, Mays gone, there's no there's no place for me to be.

I think you found a home and I think it's right here.

Yeah.

Next thing it has cameras.

There, uh huh yeah, and you're leaky ace.

Event I'll go back to my castle.

This place's phone and this.

You've done a great job with this.

I have to be honest with you. When I saw this, I thought, whose idea? And then I thought it might be somebody who's in this room this idea. So then I didn't say in about because I thought you didn't want to hurt anyone's feeling.

Maybe it's to hide that, like Mike packed diary thing here. Oh yeah, but you're because you're filming a show.

I thought it was like radio and podcast means radio.

Right, No, And then you've got some place SATs.

Yeah.

In case we have lunch, we might have supper. Lunch, supper supper now here. Let me ask you this supper is when Quinn quen quin quen Do you have supper?

We have supper? This is accent from nowhere. No, don't know. Okay, we have supper, you know around five thirty.

See, that's not supper. Supper is a snack before bedtime. In Scotland.

You usually have explains a lot of my conversations are they Its a lot because you know, Scottish people like to have a pie and some potatoes for a snack before they go to sleep.

Mmm, supper, supper and then breakfast, second breakfast.

You had sucker breakfast. Oh yeah, because I came down to have breakfast and you were there and we had breakfast together. It was early Yeah. Then I went for a walk and I came back and there was a whole other wave of people having breakfast. Yeah, and you had breakfast.

It's second breakfast. I'm gonna tell you you never have a second breakfast. It's in the larger the rings, in the hobbit and everything. You're allowed to have it. It's literary.

You audition for that too.

No, I did not. No.

No, at that point I gave up.

I knew that I knew that the costume drama thing is the world.

I do a period piece.

I don't look like someone who's from another time. Apparently I think i'd be great, And.

I don't think I do either. You know what, I don't think I can sell it because I think even if you put me like in like some kind of like Bridgerton like outfit.

I'd just be like yeah. I think that's it too.

I think if you you can dress me up like someone from Shakespeare's time, I'll just look like an idiot from medieval times or something. It's like, oh, look it's the dorman from medieval times. Yeah, that's how I talk.

That's your act, that's your acting voice. This might explain some things.

That's brave, heart, brave, that's my all. They may take our lives, but I won't take our freedom. Kids, No fucking way.

You kill that king.

You come up here trying to fucking take our fucking way.

If you take our women, now come for you. I can't you. We just got the E.

What does he mean explicit?

We got the E?

We have an E has the great podcast?

You got an E?

I think I got all the time.

It will tie in with my own school reports. I'm fine, and it's like this is below F.

It's right in the Yeah, that's.

What is F.

And then just leave already, like go on work in a store. Were you good at school? Yeah?

Yeah, I bet you were. Actually I like sassy and clever and stuff.

Yeah, I liked it. I volunteered and I raise my hand. I wrote my English teacher a letter after when I was in college, I titled it captain O my captain.

Wow.

Such a dork. Such a dork you are.

It's amazing to me that you and I are friends, because I feel like we're very different but yet the same. I don't know what it is.

I don't know. I mean, I feel like there's a time we would have met and like we would have you know.

Oh yeah, been crazy. Oh yeah, I think so. Yeah, yeah for sure.

But but you probably wouldn't have hung out with me like like a lot, because I probably would have worked down on you too much.

I don't know about that. I mean I think I would have probably. You know, I had a habit when I was a young man of spontaneously falling asleep outside. Yeah, I was kind of drunk. Oh yeah, you know, so I would like fall asleep and pee myself. Oh no, yeah, it's a thing. Yeah, it's called he had his alcoholism.

You ever heard of it?

I have. It's fabulous, you know, I mean in a way and then in other ways. Not you never into trouble with then like that.

No, But I mean I love a glass of Samniel blanc.

Yeah I do.

Yeah, that's not the same.

That's like, have some glasses of wine, get little chatty.

Yeah. Yeah, I've done that too, yeah yeah. And then that's like the first two three minutes, and then it's sky and get a little stabby.

Yeah, and then the pissies.

You had to go to the pissies.

I was trying to make it sound more butch and stabby, but then you took it to the pissies, the peepee time.

That's the that was.

Actually, I think the reason I got sober was not because of the bad stuff like fights and stuff, but the kind of.

Embarrassing like a pied myself, myself.

Beating myself once too often. That's it, all right, Well we have to go now. I think that's enough.

We've got to We've got enough excited.

Yeah for E live that podcast you do with your and gin E.

For E, that's exactly what I was thinking. I was literally thinking, elephant, Yeah, this is why we should have, you know, hung out.

Had babies together, because we both have blame improv yeah, we have terrible improve Our babies would have been able to say yes and yes.

That would have been their first words.

Craig, I love you, I love you too, I love seeing you, I love hanging out.

I love hanging out with you. Come back to Scotland when you're done with French Polynesia.

I know I want to. I would come all the time. I would buy your crappy other castle.

Yeah, well, you know, I have to think about it. I'll give you mates rates.

That's what you told me. You told me you'd give me a good deal on it.

Well, i'll give you mates rates. I'll sell you a cost, no you know, thirteenth century cost. They'll be updated for it, right right, So like forty bucks fifty bucks.

That's a really good deal. Oh no, all right, good bye.

Some of the fo