¶ Intro & Surprising Heliskiing Adventure
The first mistake that comes to mind, it's not even once we're in the financial plan, it's really like on the forefront of that. And it's the idea of only engaging with a divorce attorney.
like that that's one of the mistakes that i often see people go straight to i have a divorce attorney that's all i need welcome to the journey beyond divorce podcast where we explore the many facets complex divorce and invite you into a journey of healing and personal transformation that will radically change your divorce experience and set you up to be effective and feel empowered. I'm Karen McMahon, your host and founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. Let's dive in.
Today we're talking about the most overlooked financial mistakes in divorce and how to avoid them. And when life feels like it is unraveling. The last thing you want to do is make high stakes financial decisions. And yet that's exactly what divorce demands. And so with me today, I'm talking to award-winning financial advisor. Laura Combs. She's a CFP and we're talking about how to stay strategic when everything feels rather personal and triggering and scary.
And so Laura's going to walk us through some of the more common financial mistakes that men and women make during divorce and some ways of avoiding those. And this episode is a must listen if you're in the thick of negotiations. And feeling financially unsure. Just a little bit about my guest. Laura Combs is an executive managing director of Mercer Advisors, where she leads more than 20 offices and helps families achieve long term.
financial peace especially during major transitions like divorce you can read all about the episode and Laura's background in the show notes With no further ado, I am so excited for our conversation. Welcome, Laura. Thank you so much, Karen. Thanks for having me. Yeah. So I ask a question to my guests before we dive into the topic. And so, Laura, what is something that you've done in your life that
even maybe some people who know you would be surprised about? What is something I've done that would surprise people? One thing, the first thing that came to mind was I... went heli skiing about a year ago where I was out of a helicopter skiing outside of Telluride, Colorado in the beautiful San Juan mountains. I think that people Might be surprised that I do that. I enjoy skiing, but to go to kind of an extreme sport level, I think it...
probably is surprising to a lot of people. Because again, that's not necessarily my aura or the essence of what I put forward is kind of this sporty person. But I think people might be quite surprised that I... Well, I think you need...
¶ Addressing Emotions and Money Fears
I think you need to define. So heliskiing is literally dropping out of a helicopter onto the mountain. So the helicopter, yes, the helicopter takes you up into, you know, remote. areas outside of where any resort access might be and they land on the side of a mountain.
and so the helicopter lands on the side of the mountain you're getting out with one or two other people and your guide you're getting out and it is completely exposed karen so you feel like oh my gosh the only way to get out of here I have to ski down this. I have to go through these chutes or over some cliffs. It's a very exposing experience.
incredibly rewarding it's super fun and it's not the skiing is long it's difficult but it's not it's not super technical so many people can do it but it was a once in a lifetime however i would like to do it again experience So, folks, I guess we have a bold and courageous guest with us today. I jumped out of a plane once when I was young.
unwise actually I jumped out a few times so I have parachuted and so to me at this stage in my life I'd just as soon be a little bit more careful but I love that I love that adventure in you thank you Okay, so folks, you know, kids and finances, right, both trigger us so much as we're navigating the negotiations in divorce. And so... Let's just start, Laura, with there's so much emotion.
involved when you're making these decisions. And that can really get in people's way. And so before we get into the technical issues of the finances themselves, how do you support clients who are deeply fearful, unhinged, bitter, scared, uninformed, like all of these things that trigger emotions.
It's a great question to start off because I think you're right, Karen, before you get into the technical, before you get into the numbers, to me, it really comes down to understanding like what is important to people? What is driving them? What are they worried about? What's keeping them up at night?
And that emotional well-being is often overlooked because people just want to jump straight to the answers. They want to jump straight to the solutions. But sometimes to me, it's never about what it's about. It's about something deeper and to be able to have those meaningful conversations and get to the root of how someone is feeling. It actually takes some time. It takes some time. It takes intention. It takes the willingness to just have that space.
to sit with someone who's walking through something they've never walked through before. And as an advisor, I've walked through this with a number of people. Whether it's divorce, whether it's thinking about divorce, whether it's the unexpected divorce, it's that ability to just sit with someone and listen and be available.
And go deeper. What is under the root? What is that issue that's keeping them up at night? Because there's a lot of factors. Their social connections have dramatically changed, likely. There's a lot of questions around. And just to be able to sit with someone and let them know, I'm here for you.
I will walk alongside you through this journey and let's do this together. That to me is where I often like to start instead of just jumping right into solution mode, which I think many people tend to do, unfortunately. Yeah. And it's interesting because I think it's you and I have this overlap. So we support people. And what's your money story and what's your history and what are you afraid of? And is that nightmare even possible? And so we go into all of that, but then we.
hit our edge when it comes to the details. And what I'm hearing that you do is you actually start there too. And, and I'm curious, what are some of the key questions or issues that you're supporting people in uncovering before they actually dive into the numbers? Well, to me, it really is is what.
¶ Uncovering Your Relationship With Money
And I also I like to start with kind of this idea of what is the relationship that they have with money? Again, we're going to be talking a lot about money. We're going to go through numbers. We're going to go through spreadsheets. We're going to go through charts. But what is their ultimate relationship with money and what do they want money to do for them? Because to me, money is a tool and it can be used.
for good or for bad. And so to really understand someone's relationship with money, what it was like maybe before they got married, what it was like in their marriage, what it's like possibly post marriage. How has their relationship with money changed? So it really is digging deep into what is important to you about money. What is, what does money.
provide for you. Many people might say money is security or money is freedom or money is peace of mind. And so to really understand what they're solving for and how they approach money, that's where it starts. And so kind of just walking through those questions, what was money?
like growing up for you? Because oftentimes for clients that I've worked with that are going through a divorce or have gone through a divorce, those childhood, those early money memories, you mentioned the money story, like that comes up and it shows up.
post-divorce on how they're approaching the conversation, how they're approaching, whether they're looking at their assets and liabilities that shows up. And so going through that front end checklist of what was money like growing up? What's important to you? What do you want money to do for you? That's really the foundation before we're digging into their cashflow, their net worth statement, for example. Yeah. So I love that. And I'm wondering.
And my audience has heard me say this. I grew up with a mom who had a depression era mentality. So frugal is probably being kind. But then I ended up being a single mom, barely able to make it. And I had a lot of money stories about not being able to make it. And there's not enough money. And I've totally poured these. negative perspectives into my kids, although I'm working on changing them now. So when you meet someone and they have
a spendthrift mentality or a scarcity mentality or whatever money means to them. How do you... What do you do with that information to help them through the process? Like, how does that help you help them?
¶ Building Your Foundational Financial Plan
I think it really gives me a foundation in a sense for how they're going to approach money as I walk through when I think about building a financial plan, for example. And I think for me, everything starts with that financial plan for someone. Again, that's the foundation. of everything else that they're going to be building around that, the investments, the taxes, the estate, for example.
And that foundation, really having an understanding of how they're going to approach that, I think really helps inform. I do a lot of work in behavioral finance. I love understanding how people behave around money. I think it's incredibly fascinating because people will come into something with us. certain situation where they think to your point around maybe the scarcity, they're going to have a view on how they might want to hold their investments. They're going to have a view on.
risk and what that means for them in an investment portfolio, for example. So to really start with the foundation of what do they need in order to be successful and we can build from there and it allows me to educate. individuals. Again, I work with a client who was sitting on a huge
pile of cash. She just had this huge pile of cash. And it was really because she was worried about, she didn't know how the investment or stock market worked. So she just stockpiled all this cash. Once we did some of the work post-divorce to say, Here's what this means. Here's how you can see it and some education around it. She had a much more open view.
to putting some of that money to work versus just staying in scarcity. So it really allows me to customize, tailor a financial plan around how that person is going to respond. Because if I just slap down some spreadsheets and pie charts and talk about.
diversification and asset allocation, we're going to lose people. And so it's just meeting people where they are and building off of that, starting with that financial planning conversation. I think that really helps inform how we, how I build and approach their personal financial plan. But what I love about that is everything we do is about helping people get really conscious about.
how they think, how they feel, how they behave and intentional going forward. And sounds like your starting point really invites that as well to be very. clear and conscious and intentional about the choices that they're going to make. And so let's move into one of the things you sent me was that there are some real common mistakes where people can.
can get sidetracked or not do the best for themselves. And so on the one hand, I know that if you're in an emotional fog, I've had clients who are so anxious around money that they... kind of stick their head in the sand or they negotiate poorly. So there is the emotional piece. But let's say you get them past that, where they're a little bit more regulated around their money. What are some of the common mistakes that you see?
¶ Mistake: Only Hiring an Attorney
Men and women, I know you work a lot with women. What do you see the mistakes that they're making? The first mistake that comes to mind, I think it's not even once we're in the financial plan, it's really like on the forefront of that. And it's the idea of. Only engaging with a divorce attorney like that. That's one of the mistakes that I often see is people go straight to I have a divorce attorney. That's all I need. And they stop there. That's my whole team. Right. So and that's that's that.
mistake of only hiring the divorce attorney. I think that's an important part, right? But the divorce attorney's job is to... get you divorced. It ends there generally speaking. And so I think that there is this idea of how do you build a team around you?
with professionals like your team how do you build a financial advisor who specializes in working with clients that are going through a divorce and knows all of the different components of that so i think that yes it's important to have the legal aspect of it but i think it's really important
to have a full team around you as well. So just that's the first mistake that I see is that too many people try to engage maybe a financial team after the fact. And it's like, wait, everything's already completed. We didn't have the, we missed the opportunity.
A hundred percent. I'm going to say a few things on that. One is as coaches, we're always supposed to be asking and not telling. If you have a coach that tells, get a new coach. Informing, yes, but not telling. But there is one thing that I always tell and I tell my clients. one tell I have one tell for you. And that is get a financial expert. Because whether you have a lot of money, or you feel like you have very little money.
There are two big buckets and one is kids and the other one is finances. And so you want to have that. And I have found even some of my favorite attorneys who are like, get your financial planner once the settlement is done. And my belief is attorneys are schooled in legal rights, legal strategy, negotiation. And that's their wheelhouse. That's their pool that they swim in. And they do a lot of money.
They need a kiddie pool for money. Like we need people who could dive into the deep end of money. And so certified divorce financial planners and other financial experts who live in the world of money day in and day out. are really a key component of your team. And so I love that you said that. And a divorce coach and therapist are a good idea as well. Add that to the whole unified team. I love it.
¶ Hiring a Financial Expert: An Investment
And I think that if you could speak for a moment, because the first thing some people are thinking right now is, are you kidding me? My attorney costs so much. Now I have to hire all these other people. I'm not going to have any money at the end. So let's talk about hiring a financial expert like yourself and why it is an investment and not a spend.
So it's this idea of having someone on your team to really advocate for you who can see that 360 degree view of your financial picture. And they're going to be able to understand how different assets maybe work with one another.
be able to figure out how they can save you dollars and cents in the future. Because again, what we always hope for and what I strive for with my clients is I want to be providing tremendous value beyond what it might cost to work with someone, right? Otherwise, if you're not getting value. you're not going to keep retaining.
that individual. You need to be getting continuous value added to your life, whether it's your financial life, whether it's the behavioral and the emotional coaching that one might do, you've got to see that value there. And that's where we have to show up and continue to earn the right to work with clients. single day, every single year, because we're adding value beyond what they're doing. And that's in the form of maybe.
tax savings year over year. That's in the form of figuring out what assets they may want to negotiate in a divorce settlement. Because we might get to this later. It's another mistake that people see is they're not looking at all the different types of assets. So being able to really come alongside someone, add value, and then help them invest their portfolio for the future.
Because again, males and females tend to need to have that long-term view. And I think women might focus just on today and now, but we really want to have that long-term lens specifically. So I think that kind of, hopefully that answers some of your question, Karen, but it might lead us into. a couple more mistakes that we want listeners to be aware of today. Yeah. And I want to ask you, so as part of this more comprehensive plan, one of the things that I know
¶ The Power of Financial Forecasting
folks in your position do is forecast. Can you talk a little bit about what forecasting is, why it's important, how it brings value to the person? Absolutely. So a lot of what we do is forecasting or building what I would call like a long-term projection. So thinking about where we are today.
Where do we want to go and how might we get there? I think about it like a roadmap from a forecast perspective. You could forecast, I think, like a guidebook, a map. Here's where we're headed. And that journey is going to have twists and turns. But what we want to do is we want to run multiple.
scenarios with an individual Karen so we would sit down and say let's look at all of the different pieces in your puzzle box right we're going to dump those all out we're going to organize them we're going to put them together in a way that we think is going to be that picture that you want whether that's five, 10, 30 years down the road.
And this is really important, not only for people that have gone through a divorce, but maybe people that are considering a divorce or even someone that is married. For listeners that are married and looking for the future to be able to say, here's where we are today. Let's run those what if projections. Let's run those what if forecasts. What if I go through a divorce? What if I lose a spouse? What if I change jobs? What if the market goes down?
A little bit. No one's familiar with that right now. We run all those different scenarios. What if the tax laws change? What if, what if something happens? And that is to me, one of the most rewarding and valuable things that I get to do in my job is to sit with someone and say, what is it?
look like for you? What's important to you? Do you want to retire sooner? Do you want to take, buy a vacation home? Do you want to do these other things? It doesn't have to just be the bad. It can also be really exciting to say. If the sky were the limit, what would you do? What would you want your financial plan to look like? Let's forecast that out. So if you were working with me and I'm going through divorce and I'm saying, you know what? My kids are adults. I would really love to.
do a lot of travel in the next chapter of my life. That would be built into, can you just like that? You would just build that in terms of what does that look like? And how much money do you want your investments to generate for you? Correct. How much are you spending? How much would those trips cost? And then the fun thing for me, Karen, is to also encourage people to take those trips and get those phone calls that said we booked that ticket. And again, for a lot of my clients who are...
Krugel as well. We were talking about that earlier for them to say, and I booked a business class ticket because you said I could. That is really fun to be able to see clients living out their dreams and having those experiences. That's incredible. rewarding to be able to do. I love that. I love that. Okay. So some of the other big mistakes.
¶ Understanding Your Divorce Cash Flow
So the other mistake, we were just talking about travel. I think another mistake that connects with that is just not having an idea around cash flow needs prior to maybe a divorce negotiation. We were talking about spending, depending on. If kids are young, if we've got a lot of expenses day to day, or if you're.
later in life and maybe wanting to travel. I think a lot of times people will come into some divorce negotiations, not having a full picture of their expenses to think about generally speaking, like they might've just had their heads down depending if both spouses are. working if one spouse is working they've just not really been paying attention and honestly
Karen, not a lot of people like to talk about the B word budget. Like they don't, people don't like to live that way. I think it's important to have an understanding of your cashflow, but I think. For people that are going through divorce, it's not generally top of mind. They're just making ends meet. And we all know the statistics that money is one of, there's a high correlation.
between conflict around money as well as divorce. And so I think that it's something that's often left out. But I think walking into a negotiation, making sure you understand what your cash flow is, what's coming in. What do you need going out and being able to negotiate?
around that both during divorce, because again, if things are maybe put on pause, how much do you need for an attorney? You talked about that. And how much cashflow might you need just for day to day? So having someone that can actually calculate that for you. justify your cash flow requirements. Again, that goes back to that team and having an expert ahead of the negotiation, not just the attorney, to make sure that you've got everything you know to secure your finances post-divorce as well.
Beautiful. And this piece of budget, I feel like so many people know. what they spend on their bills their mortgage their leases off their credit card but they don't necessarily know where all of the other money goes. Has that been your experience that there's a certain amount of just day-to-day spending that isn't necessarily tracked or paid close attention to?
¶ Practical Tips for Budgeting Better
Exactly. I think the fixed expenses, like you described, mortgage, utilities, bills, those are people know those because they see those, but it's the food, it's the restaurants, it's the travel, it's the kids activities. I'm speaking for myself. I'm like, how much do all these camps cost?
My goodness. But it's important things that we want our children, our families to do, but it's just being able to have that full list because sometimes it's also episodic, right? It's seasonal. It might be once or twice a year, but having that full annual picture. headed in is something really important. And I feel like, especially in today's day and age, I have two emerging adults and a third that I support.
And the amount of money they spend on DoorDash. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're buying a $15 salad for $33. I had one young woman come to me and she said, I'm busted. Can you help me? And I said, well, go through and show me where your money went, show you where your money went. And she had spent $1,500 one month on takeout. She's a single mom. in her 20s and i was like i would not do that on like my worth but it was such a
amazing awareness. And so I love that budgeting piece is so important for people of all ages. And I think especially our young adults who are in that Netflix and Apple music and a hundred other things. And that's the money. That's not fixed. That just flies away. It flies away. And again, there's a convenience factor, which as a working mom with a lot of kids at home, you know.
If you were to see my DoorDash, it is a little bit higher than maybe I would like to admit, but we all are just making it work. But I think that there's just the awareness. And I see a lot of clients that I work with, they have no idea because they have never sat down and looked.
at it at a monthly or annual basis. They just have this sense like, oh, stuff's coming in and stuff's going out and I'm not going into debt, but they don't have to your point, like, where is the money going? Could that be used elsewhere?
Again, when we think about a divorce conversation, it's how much do you actually need to maintain your lifestyle? We're not looking at the need to really increase or decrease. It's just that maintenance piece. What is your burn rate? As I call it, how much is going out?
And how much do you need to come in to replace that? I think, like you mentioned, a lot of those quick hits, the Apple Pay, tap your phone, we don't often have a huge understanding of where that all goes. And it's pretty significant. So just looking at it is really eye-opening. when it actually changes behavior for a lot of people. Laura, I took a course with Dave Ramsey, right? Independence, like 14 years ago, early on in my single parenting, like two nickels to rub together.
And that whole concept of tracking every dollar was so eye-opening. And I'm wondering if you, before we move on, if you have one or two tips for our audience in terms of. how they can start paying better attention to their budget. Just that piece. Do you have something that you could suggest?
Yes. So I love using a cashflow worksheet. I'm a little bit old school in the fact that I actually like to write it down because I think that there's some connection with writing it down versus just looking at it on a spreadsheet. So I really like to walk through how. much is coming in? What am I maybe saving?
If I think about savings goals and then what are my monthly expenses and being able to look at those. So I first, I just kind of like to write it down, get the full number. And then for a lot of individuals, if they're wanting to reduce their spending or increase their saving is looking at how can we.
We think about this in terms of different buckets of money. It's a fixed. Really, we think about flicks, fixed, flexible. And then I like to have a little fun in there too. So my three F's of fixed is just things that you need day to day. Flexible are going to be those things. Maybe like.
restaurants, right? That is a flexible piece. That's not a requirement. The DoorDash pieces is flexible. It might go up and down, but having a little bit of a budget, maybe shopping or clothing, for example, might be part of that flexible. And then the fun is to meet things that you're interested in.
For me, fun was heli skiing. That was in the fun bucket. Vacations might be in the fun bucket or something with your children. So having different buckets of how you're going to view money. And then when you receive, to me, I also like to think about. not just today, but in the future, having a plan for today's money, but also if you were to receive salary increase at work, for example.
Making sure that you adjust those buckets as well. It doesn't just all go into one or two buckets, but being able to have a plan for future dollars, I think is also important. And there's a lot of great tools and resources online. Right now, I've used a lot of different things. I've used Dave's Ramsey. I've used You Need a Budget, YNAB. Mint.com was big for a while. Rocket Money, I know a lot of people are using. Currently, I'm using...
Monarch money and I'm actually really enjoying it. So I've been using it for about a year and it's for me, it's been working just to have that awareness and understanding of where things are. But again, I think writing it down. So that you know the number, right? It's like the secret. What is the number? Once you have the number, then you can make a plan to adjust to save or spend less. Beautiful. So far, we've talked about.
Knowing your money story, emotionally regulating around it, hiring a financial expert, beginning to work with a budget and know your budget. What else do we have?
¶ Mistake: Ignoring Asset Details
I think another mistake that I often see, Karen, is just this idea of when someone were to walk into a divorce situation, just only considering assets at face value. And I think this is something that... Again, depending on someone's education or comfort level around money and around investments and around assets, it could be a scary thing to approach. And what I mean by the face value of assets is taking a look at what type of assets do you have? Number one, I think is like.
putting together your net worth statement so just what do you own what do you owe assets minus liabilities equals that net worth what do you have What do you owe people? What does that picture look like? And when we think about it, if you're only considering the face value, it would basically say a $500,000 house is the same as a $500,000.
IRA, for example, that's only face value, which is actually not correct. There's going to be different benefits to each of those. And so I think that's what something, that's a mistake that I often see is people just see the dollar amount as the same, but not really understand. the long-term potential and the utility of each of those accounts. And so I think that's something that people often don't maybe always have an understanding around.
When you say the utility, so I get the long-term value. What do you mean by utility of the account? Just the use of it. What is it for? So I think about utility, meaning like the ability to access that cash, for example, like a house or an investment property may be more of an illiquid asset, meaning you couldn't necessarily get cash if you were to need it tomorrow.
versus maybe a brokerage account, like a trust account or an individual account in someone's name, where you could withdraw funds next day, the following day to be able to use towards something. So that's how people use those. And I always say to people, you're going to have two assets that look like they're the same value, but whether it's the long term.
or the tax ramifications, or the fees, or other such things attached. The average person isn't going to know that so much. We're going to stop for a quick commercial break, and then I would love to talk about... your suggestions when it comes to the negotiation. Divorce feels like an overwhelming perfect storm. as you navigate pain, fear, and confusion while struggling with unfamiliar legal procedures and the pressure to make complex decisions that will impact the rest of your life.
Our free Rapid Relief Call provides the clarity and confidence you're yearning for. Visit rapidreliefcall.com for support and guidance today. Of course, your friends and loved ones care deeply about you. But if you're honest, while they mean well, when it comes to your divorce, they just don't get it. And sometimes you leave those conversations feeling even more isolated. If you're feeling lonely and craving connection, support, and practical guidance,
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¶ Preparing for Financial Negotiations
We've got some really good, solid foundation here. So someone's worked with you. They know their numbers. They've done their forecasting. What are some of your tips going into that financial negotiation? Because I find so often that clients are clearer on what they want, need, but not necessarily. Thinking about the person on the other side of the table. So how do you how do you walk people through the negotiation part of the finances? So on the front end, I think it's a lot of that pre.
counseling, you know, to make sure that someone you have a really good understanding of what that individual needs and having I kind of like to think about it like what what are your non-negotiables? What do you really want to walk out of this conversation with that that you don't want to give up? So really making sure. that people have.
are grounded in that because i think sometimes like like we've talked their emotions run high there's a there's a lot of um concern or worry or fear around these negotiations it's just figuring out what is what are your non-negotiables and what are you maybe willing to give up on and or negotiate on more openly. So I think just having a plan for negotiation. I took an advanced negotiation course last year, and it was really interesting to have a written negotiation plan.
So that's what I would, that's what I encourage clients to have is as they're headed into these is what are some of the things that you really want to walk away with? What are things that you're willing to negotiate on? And what is kind of the bare minimum that you would absolutely do? So just having kind of your wish list, but then like, this is my floor and being able to negotiate around that. And I think too, again, having an understanding.
of what you need on the other side, which is a lot of the work that we've already done on the financial projections, the outlook, you know, what might you need for your future and being able to have confidence that you're walking into that. So that's a little bit of... about how I might approach a negotiation with the client. Yeah, no, I love that. And I'm wondering, so clients, I just was talking to a group of... 18 women yesterday in my group and so everybody's
got a different financial situation, but there's a lot of fear and intimidation. We happen to work primarily in high conflict divorce. And so how does having that plan And having your support impact somebody who has.
¶ Negotiating With Confidence and Support
been traumatized in their marriage, who's kind of going toe to toe with someone who has felt like a little bit of a bully in their life. Like, how does that. Can you elaborate on the value of having that when in that kind of a negotiation? I think it really just acts as your anger point. It acts as like this, this is what I'm grounded in. This is what I'm rooted in. So regardless of, of the conversation that I'm going to have, like, I still know that.
I am grounded. I'm anchored in who I am and my plan. This is what I have moving forward. And it really eliminates the noise in those negotiations. And I've been in negotiations and I've been in conversations where it does get very heated. It's very high conflict. And there is. You know, there can be some of that bullying, but knowing in advance what you're going to hold to and what you're going to stand firm on really makes a huge difference in those outcomes. Because again, then you can.
you can walk away on certain things if needed, because you know that that's not going to be additive or it's not necessarily what you need in the outcome. And so I think just having, again, but that's a lot of the... relationship, the behavioral, the kind of support network that an advisor and a full team, what clients would have around them versus just walking in.
with an attorney, you've got kind of a much broader and what I would say, like a 360 degree view of what you need. Yeah. You know, so often people will hire us because. we have such certainty that they'll be okay on the other side and they have no hope. And so it's almost like they're hiring the hope. And I feel like as I'm listening to you, it's like hiring the confidence. Like I may be on shaky ground and feel like I'm standing on.
quicksand. But if I have a financial expert who swims in the waters of numbers, who's gone through this with me, who's telling me, you've got this, this is reasonable. Don't listen to what he or she is saying. It's totally, you know. doable that there's a confidence that comes that they almost borrow from you. is what I'm hearing. Yes. And it makes me think of our mission statement at Mercer Advisors is that we exist so that clients don't have to worry about money.
And it's whether it's a client going through a divorce or whether it's someone who's coming to us, Karen, and they've got maybe some debt or they have uncertainty about the future or they're not sure how to invest their money. that's what it's about. We exist so that clients don't have to worry about money. I think about it almost in our conversation at the beginning about the heli-skiing where I had a guide. It's like we come alongside and we walk through that we know.
regardless of what obstacles someone's going to face, we're going to be with clients through that journey all the way to the end. Yeah. You just said it so beautifully. Divorce is so scary. So people hire us because we can help them understand what's happening next, understand what's happening with them and their trauma, understand and begin to plan. And you do the exact same thing on the financial and then with a good attorney.
You've got an attorney who's guiding you through your legal rights, who's really strategic, who's good at negotiating. And, you know, we're always saying, like, this is not something anyone should do alone. And you describing your helicopter, your heliskiing guide that that, yeah, hire your team of guides who have an expertise in their different areas. Love that.
¶ Key Financial Steps Post-Divorce
Let's talk for a few minutes before we wrap up about, okay, so now I'm on the other side of my negotiation. I have my settlement. I'm about to step into my new life. Maybe I'm looking at buying a new home or I'm keeping the home or whatever the case may be. What are a couple of the last tips you have for our listeners for that? those key post-divorce steps that they don't want to forget about before they just dive into their new life. I think this is where maybe the exciting...
changes can start to happen. And I think people start to think about their future in a new way. And hopefully that's, you know, for many people. an opportunity to step into something new. So working with like a certified divorce financial analyst, the CDFA advisor, then really the next steps are thinking about how do you actually start implementing some of the planning that you've already done?
And now that the settlement is here, how do you implement that plan? We've dumped all those puzzle pieces out. We've picked the ones we wanted. Now we're starting to move them around to really create that ultimate picture that we want in our lives. And so that can look like anything.
from setting up investment accounts in your name, that you've got the right risk tolerance for you. You've got a strategy for each of those accounts. You've got a savings plan around that. Some of the other things I like to look at are tax projects.
You know, now you are likely filing maybe single or head of household. You're filing in a different status. So how does your tax planning projection look going forward? Are there some things that we can take advantage of from a tax savings opportunity? And that's what we all do. We do that in-house as part of a unified team with that advisor that you're working with. We've got the tax professionals. We can go through that and look at that. The other thing is on the estate planning side.
You know, now we've got many people might want to update beneficiaries on the front end, which is, I would recommend, you know, make sure you've got those. And if you don't, we'll, you know, we'll go through all the beneficiaries, making sure that your estate plans, Karen, are now.
in line with your post-divorce settlement, that you've got the right people named, you've got everything updated, and you have your estate plan in place moving forward. And that's where we're able to do that in-house for all of our clients as part of it. of working with an advisor like us, which is to me a huge gift for especially someone walking through a divorce, male or female to say.
Let's get everything updated so that you feel really good moving forward. So those are some of the next tips I would say is start implementing that plan. So, you know, I just want to say to the listener, imagine. Finding that right person for yourself in the early stages of divorce and walking through each of the steps that we just talked about and clearing your money fears and understanding your story.
And getting guided and looking at your numbers with real eyes and understanding what's going on all the way through to having somebody who you now trust who's been supporting you to. help you invest that money and create the life that you desire and, and that you want to love. To me, that sounds like, you know, it's like we begin to build new relationships the moment we.
decide that the marriage is over. And this is a key relationship that can bring so much comfort and support in such an important foundational way. I want to thank you for what you do. I can hear your passion and your desire to help.
¶ Connecting With a Divorce Financial Expert
Laura, how can our listeners find you? And do you have a gift? I know some of our guests come with a gift. If you have one, let me know. Otherwise, you can just let me know how our listeners can find you. They can find me at merceradvisors.com. We've got a lot of great resources for individuals walking through a divorce or who have just gone through a divorce, as well as on LinkedIn, Laura Combs CFP would love to.
connect with listeners. And you're located in the Colorado area. I am located in Colorado, but we have... offices nationwide. We have dozens of CDFAs on our team, the certified divorce financial analyst designation. So I'm happy to partner and connect with anyone walking through this to be a resource. Can you be a resource for me when I have clients in different parts of the country where I don't necessarily know anybody? Yes, absolutely. So good. Then you and I should chat offline for a moment.
Thank you so much. I hope that you got a tremendous amount out of today's conversation. It's such a vital and central one for everyone going through divorce. And Laura comes with a tremendous amount of experience. and a heart to help. And so please.
If you were inspired by this conversation, reach out and learn more about her services. And Laura, thank you so much for joining us today and sharing your wisdom and guidance. Thank you for having me. We'll be back again real soon. You have a great day. Thanks for joining us on the journey beyond divorce podcast. I hope you found guidance and encouragement to help you along your journey.
If you like my podcast, please take a minute to subscribe and leave a review on iTunes. You can also visit us at jbddivorcesupport.com. where our team of coaches support both men and women throughout one-on-one coaching, group programs, online courses, and free resources. Stay tuned for our next episode, and I'll talk to you soon.